Donald Reed Powers Dead Beat Dad *Consumer Suggestion *UPDATE he just moved from Idaho to Troutdale, Oregon *REBUTTALS

single mom 2

Connie,

I have read this entire post. man there are so many people that have to add their thoughts on the matter and they have never been thru what you or many other single moms (or dads) have been through. What's up with that ?? I have not gone thru what you have as far as the deadbeat dad,
I am raising my son alone,without no child support so I can relate to you and wish sometimes that I could get help from someone but, his dad lives out of the country....No laws for this one :-)

I just wanted to say keep doing what you are doing. He has a responsibilty to help you take care of her.

Now onto Monika. after all your stupid entries I had to just say a few things...

Monika I want to say that you are a hypocrite. You say your are against divorce ?? then why did you divorce in the 1st place... because you have no children, does that make you smarter? You think that it is ok for YOU to get out a bad marriage but tell others they need to stay in one for the sake of the children ?? You are only thinking about yourself. I hope that when you do ever have children you quit being so selfish, because they should ALWAYS be first. You make NO SENSE. These people who divorce do it for what ever the reason maybe, 1) it's none of your buisness and 2) the obviously love their children enough to get them into a better enviroment..

Now , as far a divorce goes. I to am against it FOR MYSELF ONLY, I only want to be married once. So I guess that's why I never married ( as of yet ) You or I have no right to judge others. I do have a child.( yes out of wedlock... oh my gosh.. I'm sure you'll have something to say about that too....) but guess what your opinion means nothing to me. I thought about it before I did it, I wanted a baby. I may not be rich , but I am rich with love enough to be mother and father for my son ( plus a whole group of friends and family that are there for all the love and support we both need ) I get NO CHILD SUPPORT at all. As a matter of fact his father lives in Costa Rica. But I made this choice to do it on my own, something I will never regret. No matter how tough it may get. But this was MY decision. Alot of women (or men) do not get to make that choice. Unfortunately it is made for them.

The people who get married make a child together well, the plan on taking care of that child together.. but then something happens and the marriage is dissolved,( mind you ...oh sorry you do already know this... people do not get married and expect to get divorced !! )
Anyway, that does not mean that now one or the other parent has the right to stop supporting the child. they both decided to have the child so they both need to support him/her finicially and emotionally. Period.

Ya, sure alot (to many) take advantage of this system we have. But, Connie just wants him to live up to his obligation and since he is not she wants to find him to keep him accountable for his part of bringing this child into this world. Who are you to add your 2 cents when you don't even know all the facts. hey I don't even know all the facts but from what I see she is NOT looking for your sympathy or criticism she just wants what she feels her daughter is entiteled to, SO SHE IS ASKING HELP TO HELP FIND HIM NOT YOUR blah,blah,blah ON HOW RIGHTIOUS YOU ARE !!!

So get off your high horse, quit bitching about your husbands ex... because they are HIS KIDS.
Sounds like you just add fuel to her fire.
Why don't you start your own thread so people can feel sorry for you.. I sure do.

For all those single moms and dads who read this:

Never ever give up. If you are really sincere in getting money for your children never give up. But don't go as so far to hurt your child in the process. I know how hard it is, I work my butt of and there is never enough money, but there will always be enough love in my heart for my son and who could ask for more.

To many people have said to me... when they are young it goes so quickly. Let the kids be kids and enjoy childhood. I know you need money for the basics food/shelter/health ins ect... but as far as other things go use you imagination and you will get much further than what the money would get you.

Good Luck Connie and anyone else who is in a bad situation.

Update

He skipped many payments and when he did pay he never paid more than $200 - $250. He owes $560.40 every month. He was put on 24 months probation and given 24 hours community service. He requested a modification and it went against him. The judge ordered him to pay the $560.40. Immediately he is in violation. He only paid $250 in Dec 06. His license is suspended but that wont stop him. He claims he earned $314 in 2005 after being in business as a barber for over 20 years' 6 years in the same spot.

Tim, congrats on raising 2 terrific kids!

I liked your story. It is a shame that some parents can get away with what your slimy ex did. For every deadbeat father, there is a deadbeat mother. Women like that should not be blessed with fertility.

I will say this. It is both parents responsibilty to raise the child. If one parent bails, it is up to the other to step up to the plate and work even harder. To the mom's who had kids with deadbeat dads, they chose to have the kid as well. It is not the father's 100% responsibility to support the kids.

This guy though sounds like a slimeball, he should have his balls cut off, and men like him should be forced to pay child support every month, regardless of employment or income. When men do not work, the courts do not go after them and force them to pay. That is wrong.

I see both sides of the issue since I am a single mom, and dating a guy with kids whos ex tries to drain him out of every last penny, even though he pays 800/mo in support which is plenty for the kids needs. She works a low paying job and blows it all on the mortage, then complain dad is a deadbeat when he doesnt pay more. I work full time and then some to support my daughter. I cannot just sit back and say "I'll let her father pay for her" because that is wrong, and women who cannot afford kids should not have them. Mothers have a responsibility too as well.

Way to Help Tim

I just gave you a standing ovation Tim. Way to help out!

P.S. To someone earlier who said only have kids if you can afford it on your own...otherwise it's suicide....If people waited to be able to "afford" kids, the world would end. Kids are a constant expense...from birth to college to marriage. That isn't why people have kids--because they can afford them.

And to the person who said child support is an antiquated idea, and they should issue a monthly statement on what the child needs....explain the logistics of that idea...Do you wait till the month is over to reimburse the parent?! Sorry, but not a logical idea!

Happy Tuesday to ya'll and good luck Connie...you will catch that scumbag...it's just sad that he's doing this to his daughter.

cannot beleve that people are saying the things

WHAT?? I cannot beleve that people are saying the things you all are saying! "divide poverty level by 2" for the basis of child support? What a crock! I tell you what, I work 40-60 hours a week, I am a volenteer fire fighter (which means if your house is on fire, or your having a heart attack, or your kid is dying, I am dropping EVERYTHING to get my butt to you to do everything in my power to help), I am going to night school to become an EMT, and I am a board member for a non-profit group. I am teaching my children to CARE about themselves and everyone around them. Don't even tell me that since my ex decided to be a worthless p.o.s. crack head that I should ignore the fact that he CHOSE to have children, and not ask for child support! I spent 8 long years trying to give my kids a decent relationship with their "dad", even though he didn't pay support, didn't care if they had warm clothes, didn't care if it was wrong to secretly teach an 11 yo. girl to cook, package, and sell crack. Those kids are now terrified of the sob, so THEY choose not to have anything to do with him, and they RESPECT everything I do for them and for my fellow man. I'll be darned if he gets to spend whatever money he has on crack and God knows what else if it's in my power to get that money for my kids instead! I will spend the rest of his miserable, good for nothing life, making sure he is hounded for the money he owes HIS kids. If you don't like it, why don't you hop on over to Astoria Oregon and find Kelly Hunt, get him off crack and give him a job (oh, yah, he has a BA in accounting that he got while I supported our family, and he has done exactly NOTHING with it!) maybe then he will be a parent?? NO?? Then don't even try to say leave the poor guy's alone. When they put in half the effort I do to give their kids a good life, let's talk again.

Children are a privilage

The child support laws are a modern debtors prison. As a divorced parent I see having custody and the privaledge to spend every day with them my own reward. They are my responcibility and I would never ask for help.
My opinion, child support should be based on poverty level income divided by two.
Leave this man alone.

AHHH GOTTA MAKE MORE COMMENTS

OK ... it's been awhile since I first posted on here. Connie, I hope you have had some success in tracking down your ex ... esp. with the information that Tim as emailed to you. If so, you are more lucky than most ... my best friend STILL is waiting after 18 years of back support with warrants in 3 different states that her ex has lived in. I was more fortunate and did collect my little sum of $4000, although it took three years to do it, and he only lived 10 minutes away & DID have a legitimate job ... just didn't keep one for very long after the courts would order the company to attach his pay for the support.

Someone mentioned they wanted to see some "reversed" custodies ... I have TWO friends that are fathers and have custody of their children ... BOTH are having the same BS of trying to collect the court-ordered support ... BOTH work their butts off at jobs AND to raise their children to the best of their ability. One of these friends has an ex that just might wake up from her drug and alcohol induced haze long enough to see that 7 years have gone past in her son's life that she couldn't stay sober enough to enjoy. What a pity.

Another comment ... although a person is NOT employed (I'm not sure about this in other states except PA) ... they are STILL required by law to pay child support. If they are on unemployment, the support is taken directly out of the checks prior to being issued to the unemployed person (which was my boyfriend's case ... he only saw $80 a week and she received $265 a week). Unfortunately for him, the plant he worked at closed down and 800 people lost their $22/hour paying jobs. Think the courts care about that? NOPE! If they are NOT eligible to collect support (as was my ex's case) they are STILL required to pay something ... I received $10 a month HA! think that payed for much for my son? ... and they are also given only 6 months to obtain employment and resume the original court-ordered amount.

The main comment I have to agree on here is the one of MAKING SURE you have a social security number. That is the best way to track down and receive your back support. The IRS and state income taxes do get confiscated (make sure you fill out the appropriate forms BEFORE their deadlines) and they adjust for an ex-spouse that has remarried and has filed a joint return, but you will still get a portion of the return for owed support.

Again ... good luck Connie ... I'm still trudging along raising my 4 children while working my butt off at work 40 hours a week to give them the best life I can. We have our ups and downs ... but we're happy, and that is what really counts. My youngest daughter (12 yrs old) is an insulin-dependent diabetic, which throws us all for a loop sometimes when she has bad times and ends up hospitalized for a few days ... but we get through it ... this year, she spent Christmas Eve and Christmas in Children's Hospital ... we made it through it and celebrated her 12th birthday 2 days after. My other 3 kids (21, 19 & 13) decided they wanted take her presents to the hospital, so she could open them Christmas morning ... so I think I did a damned good job raising my children on my own. Yes, their dad does see them ... I have NEVER refused his visitation ... and although we are not together after 15 years of marriage, I think we have BOTH done (are are still doing) our children right.

Monika Will You Marry Me?

Your bit 'All Men Are Bad'was fantastic!! I am married with three girls at present and I will hang in there for the kids. No, I dont beat my children or my wife, but I made a commitment to them until they leave the fold. Your article was dead on!! The backlash was very telling of the 'women scorned syndrome'. I have many male friends who have gone through a divorce, the male being responsible for both attorneys fees, taken to the bank by the 'schedule' for child support inour state and the woman tearing their hearts out by manipulating the kids to the enth degree. My wifes father did not visit her after the divorce at age 6 because of guess what, the mother!!! She is an over bearing, self-rightous beeotch!! I would leave too and try to explain to the kids when they were old enough to understand why I didnt visit. It just amazes me how much time and energy both parties go through for the 'cash'!! It takes alot to raise a kid?? That depends. If you hand your kid everything they ask for, spend half your paycheck on cigs, chips, and beer then I guess relatively you wont have alot of money for your kids needs. Nough said

WHY are you people still hounding this lady???

THIS IS NOT A FORUM TO DISCUSS THE PROS AND CONS OF COLLECTING CHILD SUPPORT!!! It was a complaint a woman posted to track down a man who is BREAKING THE LAW, which coincidentally is hurting his own child. If you can't help track him down, please SHUT UP!!

Someone already said it earlier, "The intent of child support is to supply the child with every financial avenue he/she would otherwise have if he/she lived with BOTH parents under one roof. PERIOD!! Forget the revenge....forget the excuse of "lazy women wanting to bum off their ex's" forget all of it. A man walked out on his kids, and hasn't looked back. Pretty big damn tragedy in my opinion. Ummmm, some of us mothers made complete plans WITH our spouses to be stay-at-home mothers to better insure our children would be raised with more emotional and mental support than those dumped at daycare 8-10 hours a day BEFORE THEY WERE BORN, and if our husbands ran out on us for their own selfish reasons, then WHAT DOES THAT DO TO THE PLANNING OF HOW THE CHILDREN WERE GOING TO BE RAISED???? What an insult to make comments as if divorce is a planned, accepted business transaction. Many people are divorced WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT. But when someone wants to smoke crack, or sleep with hookers rather than be good husbands and fathers, what are we suppose to do???

And, I might add, that the statistic of children living UNDER the poverty line in America is 19 million. GUESS HOW MANY OF THOSE CHILDREN ARE OWED BACK-CHILD SUPPORT FROM DEAD-BEAT PARENTS??? 17 MILLION!!!!!! And guess how many of those 17 million would still be under the poverty line if they began receiving that money: ZERO!!!!! Do you imbeciles understand that there are only 2 million children in our entire nation who are legitimately POOR?? The other 17 million are kids who have a--holes for parents who aren't pulling their weight INTENTIONALLY to take care of their half of a human being THEY PUT ON THIS EARTH. I'm currently owed $25,000 by my son's father. I'm also a tax payer. Do I want others to pay for my son when he has a father who makes $75,000-$100,000 a year in sales, but chooses to snort it all up his nose or spend it on his many girlfriends in Vegas?? You think other tax payers feel great knowing a capable father isn't taking care of his child?? I know as a tax payer, I DON'T WANT TO PAY FOR ANOTHER CHILD'S DRUG-ADDICTED, SELF-CENTERED DAD, especially when he's making 3 times what I am!!!

Make the jerks who are responsible for their debts PAY THEIR DEBTS! It's sick that we have to refer to children as "Debts"!!! It's a big enough crime that these men aren't tucking their children in at night, or praising them for their good grades when they home from school, or teaching them how to ride their bikes. The majority of dead-beats aren't responsible men who are being taken advantage of by their ex-women. They are flat out SCUM OF OUR SOCIETY. It's time the MAJORITY PAID!!!

And STOP posting on this page unless you have something to help this woman locate her ex. Thank you.

Update- P.S.

After posting the last update this morning I received some returned phone calls from the Attorney Roger Warren for Dept of Justice (ORegon) who said that Mr. Powers really has 133 days to comply with the court (judge ordered 90)...he returns to court April 8th. Nothing will be done about his contempt until then (like anything was done at the first two contempt hearings).

I was on the phone at the Nov 27 court hearing and heard the judge reduce his support payments from the court ordered $560 to $250 even after me telling her that the MA(Massachusettes) courts who have jurisdiction denied the modification; and to pay $10,000 in 90 days. Well when Mr. Ginns of the Federal office of CSE office called OR, he was told that Mr. Powers was not told he only had to pay $250 a month that he had to pay $560. LIE LIE LIE. I was on the phone!!!! The Federal CSE says MA has juristiction over the modification and OR DOJ Stephanie Soden today told KATV- ABC reporter, Dan Tillman, that the OR judge has the right to reduce his payment base on the lies he tells them about his income and ability to pay. CONTRADICTION!!!

So the fact that he has plenty of $$ for art/collectables (proof on the video and pictures from KATV report) and lives an extravagant life even though he claims on his taxes he earns less than $350 a year.... $314 in 2005 to be EXACT! Can anyone show me someone surviving in AMERICA on less than a $1 a day????? How many of you would beleive a story like that?

I have been getting the run around and been told lies by the US government who doesn't want to send him to jail because it will waste taxpayer dollars. Yet isn't all the court hearings and all the salaries of the judges and attorneys (he was also given a free attorney courtesy of the OR taxpayers) and other expenses a waste of taxpayer dollars? They have a hearing create an order and do not enforce it. Aren't you enraged that you have to pay taxes and Powers gets to live the "phat life" as he so proudly boasted to me several times over the years.

Again Challenge your politicians, ask what your next president is going to do for regarding deadbeat parents and child support collections. It is your childrens and thier childrens future.... SPEAK UP!!!

I tried to call Senator Kennedy but was told he was in WA and they did not know his schedule or when he would return to Boston. Is he working? He is getting paid yet comes and goes at will if he feels like it?

Update: In contempt as usual

There was a 3rd contempt hearing on Nov 27th (at that point he had not honored the OCT 06 2ND contempt order - are you seeing a pattern?) and he was ordered to pay the same amount ($250 mo) plus $10,000 within 90 days at this hearing.

NOTE: The MA court refused a modification 12/06 but the OR judges ignored MA authority and reduced his monthly payment from $560 to $250 ANYWAY and he still refuses to pay the ordered amount.

He has only been paying $200 (and only since his Sept court date _ he did not pay anything for 8 months prior).
The judge ordered Mr. Powers to pay $10,000 within 90 days or he will face JAIL TIME and he won't even pay the monthly amount.

Maybe Mr. Powers is hoping for a cellmate named BUBBA. Maybe he is aware that the court system is uselss and broken down and lacks communication among themselves and other agencies.

Has he sold his truck, collectable art, $26,000 statue??? or does his active/unlicensed barbershop still look like a museum? If he sold anything he has not payed a cent toward his support.

The courts, who have only done what little they have done because I have screamed and raised a fuss, did what they did to shut me up. I will keep at it until he is in JAIL (hopefullyf or as many years as he has evaded - 17 years) or pays me every penny!

I could use community support, peer pressure on Donald, report any info you have about his whereabouts or his barbering activity. Not that any proof I ever gave the court made a difference but I am not giving up. Not just for me and my daughter but for all the parents not getting support. THis has got to stop.

I have not heard ONE presidential candidate say anyting about CHILD SUPPORT ENFORCEMENT. Challenge your local government and presidential candidates. What will they do if elected for the CHILDREN!!!?

I really feel sorry for this poor little girl.

They filed the following to the above Rip-Off Report:

Their email: schildknecht@home.com
Their name: Heather Taylor

Their relationship to the company: Consumer Suggestion

Rebuttal:
Quality over quantity is always better!!!!

You know, I really feel sorry for this poor little girl. Her Father has nothing to do with her and it seems that her Mother has a very great interest in collecting the unpaid child support and not trying to focus on what really matters -- her daughter. I am making no excuses for the Father or any othe parent that doesn't help in supporting a child financially, physically, and emotionally. It is very trying to raise a child in a single parent household (I've done it). We all want to give
our children the BEST, unfortunately we can't always do that. What you can't give them material wise, you make up by spending quality time with them and showing them how wonderful they are, how life would never be the same without them, and most importantly, how much you love them. Time with your children should not be spent "bashing" the absent parent NO MATTER
how rotten they really are. This is a private matter between you and the absent parent and children should be left out of it. As the child gets older, they are going to ask questions about the absent parent and they should be told, but, once again, without "bashing" the absent parent. Children are human and they do form their own opinions all on their own, they will figure out what type of person this is. You as a parent should
let the child know that even though their absent Daddy or Mommy isn't in their everyday life, they still love the child very much. Easier said than done but remember you are trying to build a self confident, loving, obiedient, and honest child. The last thing a child needs to hear is that their Dad or Mom is a "deadbeat" who never pays child support and doesn't
want to see you because he/she has a new better life somewhere far away. Not receiving child support does not entitle you the right to not let the child see her absent parent. That is like holding the child for ransom. You would be shot down in court if you told the judge that you were not allowing your daughter to see her Father because he owed back child support. The judge is only looking after the child's best interest and money is not her best interest. Building a relationship with her Father
is in her best interest (in most cases). The best thing for you to do is to allow your daughter to see her Father and uphold your part of the Child Custody Agreement so that you don't get into trouble. He'll be the one in trouble for not paying child support. In addition you will have a guilt-free conscience knowing that you attempted and encouraged (the relationship) and the rest is out of your hands. If he doesn't want to see the child then, hey, you have done all that you can do and he will be
the one to have to live with that for the rest of his life. Your daughter will grow up knowing that even though her Dad wasn't there; you were, and she will know that you gave her more love and quality time than most 2 parent households could ever.
Instead of spending your time trying to find this loser why not redirect your attention to your daughter and her schoolwork and the rest of her needs. If you need financial assistance, there are funds available so go get it. You know, I love giving my daughter the things that she wants and most of the time I do, because I work hard. Even though sometimes I don't want to get out of bed and go to work I do, because I think of my daughter
and her needs. I hope that my daughter sees that I am a hard worker and I hope that it rubs off on her. I don't expect anything from anyone except myself. Hopefully my daughter will work hard and make something of herself and one day be able to say "I did it myself with the love and support of my Mom." Anyway, my point is, you don't really need that assholes money. You can do it!!!! We all have faith in you.

RE: Roxie

I'm not really sure what happened in the situation that you're speaking of, but in most cases that I've ever been aware of, a man just doesn't go into a court & say that he wants to raise the child now after making a couple of child support payments & win custody unless something was very wrong with the child's current living situation with the mother in the first place or unless she agreed to give custody to the father.

It's very hard for a man to get custody of the child/children (although I have to agree that sometimes the child might be better off in some cases). Also you say that single parents should think twice before going after the absent parent & that there are many $ resources out there available to single parents. First, I'd like to say that if no one demanded child support from their ex spouse, the number of kids living in poverty would be several times greater than it already is.

NO ONE would bother to support their kids at all. The reason that I say this is because when I filed for child support through the Prosecuting Attorneys office in my state alone, I was told that because of the overwhelming amount of non support cases that there were, the PA's office could only spend a limited time per case. They didn't even have enough staff to handle the enormous caseload. I can't even imagine the number of non support cases throughout the United States.

Also, there wouldn't be enough money to go around as far as the resources that you say are available to single parents. What other resources are you talking about? Everyone would be living off of the welfare system. So many single parents also have to work 2 jobs, which leaves them with EVEN less time to spend with their children. Children in single parent families already spend enough time being left unattended the way it is.

My opinion of my ex is strictly that....MY opinion. I will never share that opinion with my daughter or talk bad about him to her. She can one day form her own opinion of him through his absence. That has been his choice. I have tried everything to get him to be responsible & to spend his time with her. Unfortunately, my own parents were divorced when I was very young & my entire childhood was spent listening to my father degrade & demean my mother.

She was called every name in the book, almost on a daily basis & we were told that she never loved us etc., etc. My mother passed away 22 years ago at the very young age of 48. I was robbed of many years with her because of my father & that's something that I will never forget. I vowed that I would never do that to my own children if I ever went through a divorce. Too many people DO put their kids in the middle & it certainly does have a great impact on their lives. That definitely needs to change. I can vouch for that.

RE: Chaz

While I agree with you that there are many men out there that have been taken to the cleaners per say through divorce, I have to disagree about couples staying together for the sake of the kids. I guess if you have an amicable situation, it wouldn't be as bad, but in certain cases where alcoholism, drugs, or abuse may be involved, I definitely think that it's not in the best interest of the child/children to stay together.

I don't know what your own situation is, but let's also say that two people no longer love each other. If they're just staying together til the kids "leave the fold" as you put it, & because a commitment was made to do so, then what is that teaching them? I don't agree that they should grow up in a loveless environment either. This could have a great impact on their own relationships in the future. Just my opinion.

I also want to say that we're not ALL bad or suffering from "scorned woman's syndrome." I just want enough help from my ex to make my daughter's life a little easier. I took nothing from him in our divorce & made things as amicable as possible. Unfortunately, I fought a losing battle with alcoholism which is why I left my marriage. My daughter would have suffered a great deal if I had stayed in the situation for her sake.

Some advice perhaps

WOW huh? this thread is long. The story I believe here is about this woman trying to get what she's entitled to for her child.

I live in Oregon. If there is anything I can do to help you, just ask.

Oh and all these people talking about unrelated issues... Why don't you all open your own thread and get out of this one, if you have nothing but YOUR life story to say. That will not help her in anyway to accomplish the goals in which she opened this thread for. I'll bet she stopped reading this by now. Good grief.

I too have a dead beat dad situation going on with my son.

So you dont think I am an outsider, here it is.My son is 6. 5 out of those 6 yrs. he has been running from the childsupport people.He has my address and phone number. He never calls or sends any type of bday card,nothing.He never stays in one place, wont get a job or drive because he is afraid the cops will get him.He only had to pay 42.42 a week.I have never denied him seeing our son.Even when the childsupport stopped.He never bought him clothes.He took the kid dropped him off at moms then went out.I saw this with my own eyes. His family is protecting him.I know not all dads are like this.My son doesnt even remember him.I dont talk about him,if I did he would wonder why he isnt around and it would hurt his fellings.I dont want my baby full of hurt and anger at his age,he is a kid.He knows who Daddy is.My husband and i have been together for 4.5 yrs.If he wanted to come into his life right now I would say no. Because I dont want a person that unresponsible trying to deal with a child.His bad judgement has been shown by running away from responsabilities.He could have just shown up in court when he was supposed to. Before the warrant was put out on him.I dont fully know your situation, but the only one I feel for is the kid. We adults have already been through growing up.She will use these experiences to mold her into the person she will become.What it all adds up to is, wether or not the mom lets him see her he should do what is right by the child by paying childsupport. Does this sound right?"Im not going to give the mom any money because she wont let me see my child?"That sounds childish in itself.He could always go down to the court house and get visitations ruled by the court.Then she would have to let him see her or she would get in trouble.But he chooses to stay away. No matter how neurotic the other parent with the child is it shouldnt keep you from seeing the kid.Supervised visits should keep outburts at bay.But not always mind you.This is am opinion. Like I said it is another thing to not let your child visit because if being irresponsible,but it is wrong to keep the kid away out of spite.

This is to all of the lazy, self-centered, money hungry, looking for a paycheck loser women who feel that their ex is the reason that they are unable to properly support their children.

I have raised my daughter, now 17 without any kind of help from my ex because I didn't want it. I don't have a high-school education but did put myself through a couple of years of college.

All of you women make me sick to my stomach. My daughter does not have to do without anything because I took the responsibility of raising her.

I could waste my life trying to get a (paycheck) from my ex but then I would be just like you worthless mothers using your children as an excuse for income. We both know that you are only using the children to get money from your ex's. no one is fooled.

Grow the hell up, take the responsibility on yourself and stop looking for a paycheck that you and I both know does not go to the children.
get a life.

IT'S ONLY RIGHT

FOR ALL OF YOU WHO ARE TALKING CRAP ABOUT THIS MOTHER WHO IS TRYING TO GET MONEY FROM THE "DEAD BEAT DAD" ............WHAT IT REALLY IS AND SHOULD BE ABOUT IS THAT HIS DAUGHTER HAS THE RIGHT TO HIM HELPING SUPPORT HER. DO ANY OF YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

WHEN I HAD MY SON HIS FATHER DIDN'T WANT TO HELP TAKE CARE OF HIM (WE WEREN'T MARRIED)SO I ALLOWED HIM TO GET OUT PAYING CHILD SUPPORT. I MARRIED ANOTHER MAN AND TOLD MY SON'S FATHER IF HE SIGNED THE PAPERS FOR MY SON TO BE ADOPTED BY MY HUSBAND HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT. I SHOULD NEVER HAVE LET HIM OFF THE HOOK! MY SON DESERVED TO HAVE THAT SUPPORT EVEN THOUGH MY HUSBAND WAS WORKING AND SUPPORTING OUR HOUSEHOLD.

THESE MEN HELPED MAKE THESE CHILDREN SO WHY SHOULDN'T THEY HAVE THE RESPONSIBLITY IN SUPPORTING THE MOTHER IN RASING THEM TOO. CLOTHING, FOOD, SCHOOLING, MEDICAL TO NAME A FEW.

SHE NEEDS TO CONTINUE AND NOT LET ALL OF YOU NEGATIVE PEOPLE HERE GET TO HER!

Obviously you have a lot of guilt about something...

They filed the following rebuttal to the above Rip-Off Report:

Their email: misty_ellington@merckmedco.com
Their name: Misty

Their relationship to the company: Consumer Suggestion

Rebuttal:
After reading some of the PATHETIC crap that some people wrote here...I was compelled to educate.

So MONIKA, pay attention!

Obviously you have a lot of guilt about something...you and your current husband are both Divorcees....and you say his ex-wife "won" the divorce? NOBODY "WINS" in a divorce, if you were ever in love, then you both LOST.

Lesson number 2---No-one Pre-meditates a Divorce, on their wedding day. So you implying that people who don't plan on staying together shouldn't have kids is an ignorent statement. I don't know if I can even waste more time addressing that....

Lesson number 3--Parents (Dads AND Moms) who don't pay child
support....don't WANT relationships with their children. If they did, they would make an effort to do so! Talking about the custodial parent being a hassle to the other one is ridiculous, If the relationship is truly over, and you are behaving like an adult (responsible) then you would realize it is time to maintain a relationship with the child, and make sure their NEEDS are being met regardless of how you feel about your
EX. Financial Responsibility for your offspring in a situation like this, doesn't constitute being a parent, it is the MINIMUM requirement, and paying child support doesn't automatically entitle anyone to anything. Paying child support is REQUIRED by all states for the Non-custodial parent, whether they visit their child or not, and the amount is calculated based on what EACH parent makes....not what the ex-spouse thinks they are entitled to.

I am sure you have not had children of your own...because you are way too childish to even grasp the magnitude of such a situation. Keep on blaming women for the world, and you are letting 50% of the perpetrators go free! Anyway, just because you are biased to your current husbands situation doesn't make you a freakin Expert!

Reality Check..wake up call...

I am a single mother of two girls ages 7 and 12.
The father to the 7 yr old just started making payments thanks to his new wife, she got him to take responsibility to pay off a 37,000 dollar child support debt to the state of california and a 10,000 dollar back support to me.

I have lived on welfare and have worked to suport the kids, the states interest charges on that 37,000 has added to over 10,000 of that 37,000 and every month whether he pays or not 250.00 is added atop of the regular monthy support. With interest like that, dont expect it to be paid of, in his life time!

("wake up call")
Do you honestly think you will ever see that money?

I sympathize with you and understand the frustrations and the anger you feel,the time and (I assume) $ you have put into finding him, has gotten you no where, if and when they do catch up to him .. putting him behind bars isnt going to make him change either. They cant keep him forever and believe me prison jobs dont pay well.

other post reguarding this said >"Time to let it go".
I agree!

If he has not paid for this long, then most likely he never will, most of all is it worth time and energy? he could careless from what I can see from hearing your side, he is missing out, and in the end when he is an old man sitting alone looking back on his life and suddenly hears a knock at the door ... what will his answers be to his daughters grown up questions?...
Reality check....

Dont get me wrong, I strongly believe two parents is better for a child as a whole.
I also agree that the kids are the ones who are affected most they are innocent.
They did not say Lord i want a deadbeat daddy or mommy or , did they ask him to give them a mommy or daddy consumed and hell bent to make the other pay. What they need is a mommy and a daddy who love them enough to put them first!

So to dead-beat Daddy Donald dont you think its time to face the music, I am sure you are aware of your face being posted all over the internet by now, dont you want people to hear your side? hiding and running isnt going to make this all go away and you cant go back so face, make an effort!

To Mommy, your daughter is 12 now she is living with you, dont think for a minute that all your efforts has not affected her either. 12 year olds are smarter then you think, all kids are for that matter... have you ever sat down and talked to her about her feelings or views about it?
She may surprise you.

Good luck to you, and to others.

i too was a single mom

i to raised 3 kids without support nor did i want it!if their father could not pay for their care when we were together what made me think he would with us being divorced!he never worked paying taxes so no point!it is a waste of time!enjoy your child and do the best you can! the two of you will be fine.

Stop making excuses for Deadbeat's

It's amusing to me that people continue to make excuses for deadbeat parents. Why? It doesn't make sense. You make a baby, you care for it. If you want to do adult things, you take care of the consequences.
Here's my favorite excuses:

1:) They can't afford to pay child support.
2.) They got a new family now.
2:) They won't pay child support, in effort to hurt the ex-spouse, lover, etc.
3:) It is too hard, expensive, etc to collect support.
4:) You are too proud to accept the support.

Guess what? I don't care if the deadbeat has to spend 3 months in jail or lose their driver's license. I don't care if they have to work 3 jobs. I don't really care if they themselves are homeless. There's really no reason for the other parent to neglect the children. If one is obligated to take care of the child, then the other one is obligated to provide for their children their half.

The children came first and didn't ask to be born to a doomed union. They deserve to live (financially) as if they had two parents in the home.

My ex didn't pay support for the first 6 months after he left our home, but I went to NAVY legal and demanded it and back support.
Now, we're both out of the Navy but every month I get a check and only a check. No letter, no phone calls, no nothing. He has remarried and has a step-daughter. He and his wife are having their first child in June.

I think he will be responsible enough to continue paying, because he knows that he cannot escape it. If I raise my daughter, he at least has to do his job and pay his half. I don't feel sorry for him. I have a full time job with the govt that pays decent money. I also have a part time job for extras. My daughter is lucky enough that I can afford a nice apartment, a decent car and we have what we need to survive. His support pays her tuition and it pays for her clothes. I pay a whole lot more than he does, but because I now, for once make more money, that's the way it is. He is still obligated, no matter what I make to pay a portion of her expenses. We both are supposed to pay half, but he gets away with a small amount. He makes an effort, so I am happy with that.

He gets his email updates, photographs, and if he deems it necessary for me to have his number, we call him. I have made our daughter a scrapbook of her dad and his family and I never talk bad about her father if she's in the building. That shatters kids sense of well being.

I have even offered to pay half for her to fly to Oregon to see him. After all, he had a half a page of intricate visitation schedules drawn up (and never used them.) But there is always something more important than our daughter. It's always been that way so I have to accept that as long as he pays, it doesn't matter that he's never been a dad to her. And the sad thing is, I knew the day he left our house that he wanted to walk away and never see our daughter again, so I know that even if I wouldn't have made him pay support, he still would have chose not to be involved in her life.

Girls, the best tip I can give you? Before the first time you hop in bed with your guy, you'd better write his social security number down. Because, if he runs off, you can most likely trace him that way. Lots of ladies don't do that, and they end up raising a kid by themselves and has no idea where the daddy is. Oh, and your kid goes without.

two sides to every story

Divorce is ugly! There are always 2 sides to every story. Some marriages end because of abuse from one or both of the spouses. This type of reason is acceptable. Don't get me wrong,I don't condone violence. No one should stay in an abusive relationship. But those divorces that end because there is "someone better" waiting in the wings is wrong! Proof is in the pudding. In the courts there should be Police reports and medical reports . Proof of the abuse.

Let the judgement fall there. If a parent leaves due to abuse,let the other pay through the nose. Unless it it caused by both sides,then 50/50. If one leaves to be with another,without abuse problems,then they volunteeringly leave the spouses income behind too. They should also leave the child with the spouse as well. They are the one breaking up the family unit. I am the ,well can't say victim ,of divorce. My ex left me for a family friend who watched her grow up. He is about 15 yrs older than her. She would volunteer on his fire company activities instead of mine. I now know why. To be around him.

We where actively married at the time and was seeing him. If there was any abuse it was from her. I lived in Western Pa. No one from my family lives there. I moved there so she could be near her family. Her mother was every bit involved as the ex was. She knew about the affair and never said a word. I was alone in my plight. Ther has been a web of lies from her side spun along enough to snare the best of judges. No physical proof of any of it but, it is a woman's court. I moved to Florida after I was alienated from my children for over a year. I needed to get a real job. Washington Pa. was not condusive to employment. Then along came divorce papers. No visitation or anything. I was told I would have to file myself, for visitation.

I am a disabled vet with bad knees,diabetes and cancer. I cannot afford the court costs and legal,travel expenses. I am told I must file in Pa. Her legal fees where paid by the state,while I sat helpless to the courts findings to the lies.
The oldest daughter is not mine. She called me daddy and thats all that mattered. I would never tell her she wasnt mine. The first relations I had with my ex was after Dec 1st 1995. She was born July 16th 1996. 7 1/2 half month baby, possible right? Not 9 lbs 15 ozs. The second is mine. She looks like me ......

I have no address or phone number to reach them. Child support goes through the state of Pa. They told me I had no right to their whereabouts. Her mother covers my ex's tracks well. I believe that this qualifies as a dead beat mother situation. Wake up people,there are 2 sides to every story!!!!!!!

Update - No January Payment

He still refuses to honor the courts order. Paying less than the amount ordered in previous months he paid NOTHING in January.

No one has posted anything about his activity lately and I heard he had gotten a DUI and would like to know what the charges/fines/jail time is for that. Isn't that public records?

CLICK here to see why Rip-off Report, as a matter of policy, deleted either a phone number, link or e-mail address from this Report.

can't take the kid or blah, blah, blah. i say good ridence!

They filed the following rebuttal to the above Rip-Off Report:

Their email: kgraham8045@aol.com

Their relationship to the company: Consumer Suggestion

Rebuttal:
you say you have a restraining order against him...yet you want him in your life to burden you with when he will take the kid or can't take the kid or blah, blah, blah. i say good ridence! it seems to me you're driving yourself crazy obsessing about this piece of trash. he has obviously chosen not to be a part of your kids life, and by making such a big deal out of this you are probably screwing up your kid worse than she would be
if he was just not there instead of not there and moms going crazy about it. as far as the money goes kiss it goodbye, he wouldnt make the monthly payments why would he pay the (probably 60k by now) amount due? if it is not about the money, forget it. if it is about the money get on state assistance. once you become a burden to the state they start to pay attention to your problems. let it go and stop letting it ruin you and your kids life....

Hi

If your a single mom and your HOT aka MILF. Ill be your baby daddy for a little while. Ill love you long time...
and im financially secure.

First of all where is the Dead Beat Mom's section.. *EDitor's Comment .. there is a section for Dead Beat Moms!

They filed the following rebuttal to the above Rip-Off Report:

Their email: AJSantiago@msn.com
Their name: Julia

Their relationship to the company: Consumer Suggestion

Rebuttal:
First of all where is the Dead Beat Mom's section, why is it always the men. My Father raised three kids on his own, moving from state to state, or country to country, while he was in the Military, the pay is good if your single, and we all turned out just fine, because we were a close family and stuck together, there was no choice. But I realize, this is the years
2000, a completely different generation. There is no such thing as family values. Or even more to the point no morals.

I am married and my husband has a child with someone else, they were never married, go figure alot of relationships are like that, as they say play with matches and your bound to get burnt. He pays his child support every month and on time, and it is stated in the judgement for child support that he has physical placement with his son, does he get it. No, because
he is with me, she doesn't even know me, and if it wasn't me it would be someone else. So lets take it out on the children
I feel that some women have nothing better to do with their time, when it should be spent on raising their children, (and it doesn't just take money), than to sit down and man bash.

What about the women who deny the rights to the father, who do take care of the financial respondsibility's, or don't, money is a piece of paper, a child is life, breathing, loving, doesn't the child have the right to know who the natural parent isn't that abuse toward a child.

Then when the child gets older, it is their decision. Why can't it be that way when thier young, don't they have a mind.
Money doesn't make a child, I am sure no one puts a 100.00 bill between them and says okay make a child, the only thing that should separate the two is a condom, if they are not prepared to make a commitment, and for those who don't understand what a commitment is with a child, it is life long, until it is born til death, which includes a mother and a father.

Money should not separate the two. Like it was said before it takes two to Tango Money doesn't make a respectable adult, parents do. Money doesn't love, parents do. But money will make people lifes miserable, if that is all they depend on.

And just remember when you are bashing the other parent, that child is related.

Sometimes having the father pay does not help

Personally I think people need to search thier hearts, yes the Mother may think her child is being robbed of a child hood. But I can tell you the only thing that robs a childhood is a parent trying to control another person. Also what are you teaching this child. You are teaching bitterness, hate..



I think going after another persons assets to get at him is wrong (his wife he has now). She didn't help you create this child. Let me give you an example here.

A person goes her own way, holds a job support her child herself. She gets ill asks for help. The courts decide the child should get support. Two months of $25.00 payment the man goes to court asks for visits and complain he would rather raise the child. He wins. He gets the child the step mother and him abuse the child. Five years of abuse.

The courts finally say ok maybe theres a mistake here. Gives the child back to the mother. The child has to have on going therepy because of hate and bitternes.

The frist thing the child blames is the parent for asking for help. Because the child is now 16 years old and says you should have left him alone. I would have rather live in squaller and love. Than had money. I think people who are a single parent should think twice. Before persuing the other absent parent.

Oh by the way The court on looked at it as a mistameanor. He got of on all the abuse. His hand slapped. The mother wishes she had never asked for help. Let sleeping dogs lie. You should get on with your life and love your daughter. There are lots of resources out there that will help you with finances. Also I think people need to quite being rude to Monika. She has alot of good points too

BEYOND THE HYPERBOLE

My comments are directed to nobody in particular and everybody in general.

1. These two people conceived a child.

2. They divorced.

3. The court ordered the non-custodial parent to pay child support.

4. He hasn't paid it.

5. The custodial parent has a right to seek the delinquent child support.

6. Connie asked for readers of this board to help locate her ex. Whatever motives she has, either real or perceived, have nothing to do with the fact that Donald is ducking his responsibility to a human being he helped create.

I'm a retired Private Detective. With only a modicum of effort I was able to determine that Mr. Powers is not working as a licensed barber in Idaho, Washington or Oregon. Nor is he operating a barber shop in any of those states.

Additionally, he is not registered with the Secretary of State as any type of corporation or sole proprietor.

The phone number and address for Mr. Powers given by the custodial parent at the beginning of this thread are not listed anywhere. Most likely they are bogus.

There is no listing for a Donald Powers in Troutdale, OR. There is a listing in a nearby town for a Donald R. Powers, and I have forwarded this information to Connie.

Why expend my time and energy? I raised my two oldest daughters by myself for four years after my first wife ran off with a guy on a Harley. She was ordered to pay support, but never did. I had to quit college, struggled & sacrificed, worked two full time jobs and begged her to pay something everytime she had them for visitation (also court ordered, and which I complied with to the letter). She refused to pay a cent.

When I took her to court over it, she decided to let my 2nd wife adopt them rather than pay. Rather than be responsible, she decided to give up her own flesh and blood.

I'm happy to say my children are now grown, happy, married women who have blessed me with four granchildren.. no thanks to their deadbeat mother who they haven't heard from in 22 years.

As you can see, I know what it's like. If I am able to help someone else avoid the struggle I went through, I'm happy to.

Tim

a father that doesnt evn care about her he should be beaten

I think most of you completly miss the point there is a little girl out threr that has an ass for a father that doesnt evn care about her he should be beaten. hope the mother is doing her best to take care of the girl.

LOVE IS A RIGHT OF ITS OWN

In respone to the child of divorce.The problem is the law. The man should have been charged with vandalism for the damage to the home and theft for removing property, and assault for harming his family, and kidnaping for taking the children. These are crimes that are punishable by law and the law somewhat excuses them because this is a family matter. The law does try and deal with this through the domestic violence laws. This family needed help way before the mother decided to leave . The mother should of had him arrested the very first time he assaulted her . He would of been removed from the home and would have been ordered to get help with his problems .This would give this family a chance if this man received treatment .He would early in the marriage been given a chance to save his family. Women do not want to send there husbands to jail and make family life worse. The law should offer help in other ways where a child could even ask for this help. The facts are this man had a problem that was not addressed. It did not offer him a way to save his marriage and children . The point is even though this man was a terrible husband and father does not mean the laws should be set up as all fathers are in this group and take the rights from all fathers away.
To take your children from you even from a man like the one described above is not right. The law is set that one parent has to be removed from children they saw everyday to now visitation of every other weekend. Then if the other parent decides not to allow the other parent this (which is about 77% this happens) it will cost a lot of money to get a court to change it. The facts are the law does little about the visitation of the children.
The law should promote sharing children and have rules set in place that if daily sharing the parties have to agree to live within so many miles of one another, and the child attend one school. The rules should also be set that each parent offer a safe place in which the children are shared. Parents should not be allowed partners that are live ins unless they marry. Rules that sharing cannot take place out of state until the child is of a certain age. A mediator should be assigned to work out arrangements that become a problem and this mediator should do random checks and give the parents an chance to correct any problems the mediator finds them before it is reported to the court. The child should be able to call the mediator. This gives jobs to all those child support workers out there. The well being of the child should be the concern of the court.. If either parent becomes violent or does not cooperate with the sharing or somehow places the children in harm way or the children are harmed in a parents care , then the courts should decide if the sharing should continue. The parent who causes the sharing to end then should be ordered to pay support and be reduced to visitation.
This way both parents are given the chance to be a part of the child's life and the parents actions will decide if they lose that right.
This arrangement may have even worked with the case mentioned above. The child would have been able to continue flying with his father. The father may have changed in order to be in his children's life, the fact is the father should have been given the opportunity to try. People should not lose rights because of divorce and the fact is both parents have the same rights to their children. In this country rights are taken away when the party has done something to cause this right to be removed. To stop loving a spouse does not stop the love for your children. Love is a right in its own.

Child support, I am glad I fought

It Has been a while sence, I have wrote anything. My daughter is now 18. She went to vivsit her father. She was not impressed. He said to her I have a few things to say to your mother... She cut him off and said to him. I am not goingto discuss this with you. I am tired of you taking your hatered out on me for my mother. She told him it is her choice to come and see if he has changed. She told him it doesn't look like it. She took his phone number, walk away and still hasn't called him back. I don't know what he said to her on their visit. But she asked me is it true I will go to hell, if I don't want anything to do with him? I told her know that God lets us pick for our selfs on our life. That she can choose what she wants. As for loosing her and getting her back, I am glad I fought. Also she was a trooper on my 2 years of chemo, which the court at one time said I was to ill.My daughter is a wonderful person, even though He had her messed up at one time. Now she has friends who still come and talk of the parents. Troubles, she talks with them to comfort the pain. I thank those food banks, charities and resources. The people of the usa that donate to help others. Also after I got her back I still never asked for a dime from him. I worked two jobs, taking her with me till she was 14. Taking care of my health. I sometimes wonder if she had never came back, if my body would have had the spirit to fight. She an herself as a person is worth being here. No matter how much pain, I went through. She wants to be an advocate for childrens rights. I can't wait to see her to start. Because my daughter knows the truth of what can happen. Right now she is helping a freind who has a mother who is not a prime choice. So everyone it not just men it can be women also. I don't know where the courts think that because the person is a female that they will be a good parent. Because this freind of my daughters is always coming for refuge. Even the police bring her here to my home to stay.

Dressing up like batman isn't enough

I think the guy dressing up like batman shows how desperate these fathers are and what they will do to get the court's attention.

Do you realize that the father is being taken out of the family on purpose! This causes the families involved to use the court system that it in itself creates future business for itself! In civil law cases divorce and child support make up over half of the cases in the system .

Do you know what kind of money is being generated here? Do you realize how many people are employed?

This is all generated from the Federal Government, do you think they do anything in our best interest? This is what supports our courts child support and drunk drivers. Why are you considered drunk after two drinks ? Now if you are pulled over and do not blow enough to be charged with drunk driving you will be given a urine test and if a metabolite of any substance in found you will be charged with driving on drugs. There is 300 over the counter meds that will give a positive test for this. You see they don't have many people drinking and driving anymore they need this revenue back in the courts. So now it is no longer the drunk that is the problem it is people on drugs. So they change some wording in the laws and now they are allowed to charge even larger fines and longer classes. You are fined over $2000.00, your license is taken , your ordered classes to take at a cost of 600-800 more, and a weekend in jail in which you get the bill for. You may have taken a cold tablet and this will cause a positive test but to defend yourself cost 10,000. They use the bad person as the reason for there abuses, they are doing society a favor. They changed the law where it no longer states under the influence. They now have their revenue back in the system..

As for child support they have to have a bad guy here for same reason. This way only the bad guy will protest the guilty party . No one questions this why are we allowing government to interfere in family business. In both of these actions the party accused have there basic due process of law rights removed. This is a guaranteed win for the courts. Also by removing the father , the bread winner from the family and by taking his rights away , kick him out of his home and reduce his relationship with your children to being a visitor now, and on top of it pay for this arrangement. Now you are going to get a reaction and usually not a pleasant one at that. Then this reaction gives the custodial parent and the child agency reason to keep them away from their children.

Now child support is allowed to accept donations. The District attorney asked Domino's Pizza for such a donation in which they agreed to . The agency donated free products. What were not told was they were the sponsor to the contest described below. The fathers rights group members sent tons of e mail and phone calls to Domino's and expressed their promise to boycott there products if they did not withdraw.. They withdrew for they said they were not told they were suppling the prizes for this contest ,a contest that targeted divorced fathers in general where dead beat dads happen only 5 % of the time. contest was inappropriate for children to par take. See the contest explanation:

The District Attorney Cox of Michigan took his campaign to a new low by announcing a contest to encourage custodial mothers to have their children draw billboard designs critical of non custodial fathers who have allegedly not paid child support. According to the contest's rules:

1. "Entries must be original submissions produced by the child him/herself. The Attorney General encourages parent involvement in discussing the issue and assisting in crafting the message and visual representation but the production of the image must be from the child alone. Entries must be electronic or hand-crafted visual representations that clearly convey the message of encouraging the payment of child support." (Emphasis added).

In other words, custodial mothers are encouraged to coach their children to make designs critical of non custodial parents behind on child support. And it doesn't take much imagination to figure out which non custodial father many mothers will be encouraging their children to denounce. In family law that's called "Parental Alienation." Many divorce decrees specifically instruct parents not to denigrate or badmouth the other parent in the presence of the children, and here the top law enforcement official in the state of Michigan is holding a contest which encourages parents to do this!

Now dressing up like batman doesn't seem to be enough does it. Isn't it bad enough we are allowing our children to lose their lives in a war that is based on a lie? We are there for weapons of mass destruction and we are in danger of terrorists. We are the terroist See in plane site WAKE UP PEOPLE SEE WHAT IS GOING ON The government is hitting us below the belt and we are allowing it .It starts with destoying the family. What laws are set in place that realy help us? We are government slaves we pay more that 60% of all our wages to the government figure it out people take our country back from the evil that presides over all of us.The child support is only one issue but it is where it starts.

A lot of laws don't work Terrie...

But if a parent is ordered to pay support and refuses to, that isn't love. Maybe some just want to see their kids more. But do you honestly think refusing to pay support will help them to do that? Do you think the dude dressing up like Batman and making a public nuisance of himself over in England is going to help his case? Just because they're not enforcing all the laws the should be, it won't generally help anyone's case to break the laws that we have.

From the child's view

Terrie, (California) I appreciate your response; in addition, I want to clear up any confusion or misunderstanding regarding my family's and many other's situation. You make an excellent suggestion with regard to laws aiding families in keeping them whole, in spite of a spouse being arrested jeopardizing the family structure. Spouse needs to be recognized as more than “husband” and it needs to be noted, only in more recent years, are paramours included in new laws.

Let me address a couple of points from your response. In particular, I want to respond with sharing a specific event in which the laws were pertinent.

You are correct to assume that there are laws addressing the violations, however it should be realized that laws, in general, are designed “after-the-fact” and any Law is open to interpretation.

Although I noted my father is almost 80, and I was at least 14 when I began working, a direct result of his neglect to provide child support, I should have established a time frame - four decades ago - to explain why vandalism, theft, and other laws were not a part of recourse at that time.

One point that hit a nerve, was the suggestion my mother was responsible or should have had the authorities arrest my father for assault, and so on. The ability and unfortunately, the unwillingness to arrest a spouse for abuse is truly a more recent exigency.

Too often, the decision to arrest was left to the official at the time. As with many laws, domestic laws were created after-the-fact. Not until one-to-many had died.

It wasn't too long ago, the abused spouse and the children knew not to contact the “authorities” for help, much less tell anyone, for fear of reprisal. Awareness of danger regarding domestic conflicts has only been taken seriously, by all authorities, in the past 20 – 25 years. Only then as a result of lawsuits against law enforcement agencies that clearly contributed to the death or severe disability of one they were to protect.

Social Service Organizations were predominately accountable to the poorly formed “family court” systems engaged in the care of abandoned, neglected and abused children. Abandoned, neglected and abused spouses found opportunity for help to be mostly, unknown. Of course, any law begins as a pebble in a pond, slowly the ripples move outward to touch more and more of the pond's water.

Wait! The one occasion when the “authorities” or the local law enforcement was called, it did not occur, at all, as you might expect. Early one evening, I was caring for my baby sister while my father was on a tirade (my mother had recently taken a part-time job and was not home), I responded very quietly, to my father, “But your mother does that.” In return I was punched in the face, knocked to the ground and kicked. Opening my eyes, I saw my father had gone to the laundry room. He was going for the belt.

I am unaware how, but I fled to a neighbor's home. I didn't know how much she knew, but she was a close friend to my mother and I needed help. Later I realized I had chosen, in that quick second, I would not be hit by him-again.
I am sure you concluded my neighbor or I called the police. Nope, my father called. He told the “Chief” a good friend of his that I had become belligerent and ran away. I cared for this neighbor's horse and dad figured if “Joann” was home, then I would hide in the barn.
When the Chief arrived Joann told him the situation and called my mother at work so he could talk with her. I hid in her pantry because I knew the only way my dad could get the Chief to come personally was to lie.
My mother spoke with the Chief over the phone and said she would leave and take me home. He agreed and Joann tried to get me to come out of the pantry to wait for my mother. I knew my dad, and I knew this would not acceptable to him.

It wasn't. Soon the Chief returned, and explained my father would let me come home, but if I didn't then he (the Chief), would have to “arrest you and you will go to juvenile detention. You don't want that do you?” A kid does not soon forget those words.
As for his agreement with my mother? “I don't want her to be worried about you. But, I have to follow the law.” The Law. What law, whose law, and interpretation of law are, in a phrase, in the eye of the beholder.

Sadly, today's laws are still based on interpretation. The idiom, “Can't beat a dead horse”, describes attitudes of child support. What I mean is, society has become numb to the cries of single mothers abandoned by their spouses and paramours. Oh, please do not attempt to lay blame with one or the other.

It is one thing to marry, to make a commitment, then the couple's marriage, actually their “institution” of marriage to break-down, no matter the reason(s); it is quite another when two people “play house” and their offspring are real, live babies; not plastic dolls.



Too many men and women have created a new “family” format in recent years. One that places lust before common sense. New terminology attempting to justify a woman's independence is nothing more than rhetoric.

To suggest a child does not need a father, a male equal to a female, is redundant, at best, and ignorant at worse.

In the same manner, attempts to reason the do' or don't for child support have been lost in that rhetoric. So the father, unfortunately the majority case, finds a way to weasel of his commitment, to ignore his obligation to the child (ren) he brought into the world, his ability to walk away, only desecrates the concept of family.


Addition: Just a few hours ago, I learned my father has been hospitalized; probably for the last time.

I visited with him about 10 days ago. I did not expect the response I had. The man who had scared me as a little girl, and continued to intimidate me years after, sat before me as a withered, pale and confused person.

I looked into his deep blue eyes, now cloudy with sickness and age, trying to find the father I needed, but I found my father. A self-made man who threw away his life – his family – just to prove a point.

I looked into the soul of a man who was creative, intelligent, and strong, and I saw the angry frustration of one who set aside his teachings of values, ethics, and moralities to save a buck under the umbrella of ‘getting even'.

During the five-hour drive home I spent most of the time in tears. After all these years the pain should be gone. I should have reconciled, some time ago, that my father had abandoned my sister, my brother and me for so many reasons he could not keep them all straight (sic).

He justified his behavior with one reason and another, always complaining and degrading my mother as he established her as the reason he “had” to leave us.

During this last visit, he attempted, once again, to address the issue as he excused his lack of commitment, to lay blame on my mother. The moment I opened my mouth to stop him, he seem to realize he had failed in justifying his actions.

This time, unlike each visit in the past, he stop without my needed to remind him to unless he wanted me to leave. He was too weary. It seemed he had finally given up.

I will leave tomorrow to see him. Long ago I managed to forgive him, but I continue to struggle to find a resolution.

It does not matter if your husband's “ex” upsets you because she demands support for the children they created, and please do not claim “they” are getting alimony – that went out with the need to marry before getting pregnant.

Don't like the deal or the arrangement? Get a lawyer.

Anyone who marries a “father” knows responsibility comes with their deal. Once a parent, always a parent. Do they expect the child to “go away” and leave the new couple in bliss? GET REAL.

If the new partner is not willing to place their “loved one's” children ahead of everything else, they are in denial (sic). New spouses or paramours are selfish to ever think they will, much less, should take first-place in the new arrangement.

Hey, even Hillary knows a mother can't do it on her own – well, at least she attempted to educate the world with her book.

Our society continually ignores the responsibility of our children, our future, for instant gratification. Society can only fool itself for so long until the damage created by its laziness and selfishness bites back.

There is no justification when a parent neglects or abandons their child.

A deadbeat parent is a deadbeat parent

Re: From a child's view

I know of your heartache, I still wait for an apology. Out of what I was treated like as a child, I just wanted to take my baby and go away. After two abusive thumpings, I figured well I am not staying where I am Clearly not wanted! I raised her holding down jobs. For 6 yrs. Then he decides to get in a panty twist. Go to court they give her to him cause he is healthy and has more money than I. (before I got ill, I made alot more than he) He abused her for 5 yrs. The whole time I am fighting. Selling my house, horses and cars. Got to the point of freezing and going hungry. I know where most of it went. In the goverenments pocket. I paid $856.00 amonth child support those 5 yrs. also. He has 4 kids by this other woman. My daughter told me when I sent a box of stuff to her, it went to the others. Greed is what it is called. I have her back now for 7 yrs. With lots of counseling still out of pocket. I do get child support. I don't even ask. I won't either. I figure if you really want someone out of your life. You don't have nothing to do with them. Don't even say a prayer. Now that my daughter has seen the papers and pulled records, (she is 18 now) still at home. She wishes she never had met him. She says she will never have kids. It is sad. Believe me CPS was called several times and they left her there. That why at the beginning of theis forum, I said for her to let him go. Rebounds suck. I have brotherrs who also go through hell, cause of thier ex's. I had one brother who was handing money over to his ex, without a copy of paying. She took him to court anyways. He ended up paying all of it all over again. Because she was not honest with the courts. My brother even ended up paying back DSHS all the money she got from them also. She never reported the hundreds of dollars she got from my brother either. His ex got a slap on the hand. He looked at jail, for no support. Witnesses that he gave her money doesn't count either. This is why I don't believe it when someone whines they can make it with no child support. Sorry for being long winded.

From the child's view

Terrie, (California) I appreciate your response; in addition, I want to clear up any confusion or misunderstanding regarding my family's and many other's situation. You make an excellent suggestion with regard to laws aiding families in keeping them whole, in spite of a spouse being arrested jeopardizing the family structure. Spouse needs to be recognized as more than “husband” and it needs to be noted, only in more recent years, are paramours included in new laws.

Let me address a couple of points from your response. In particular, I want to respond with sharing a specific event in which the laws were pertinent.

You are correct to assume that there are laws addressing the violations, however it should be realized that laws, in general, are designed “after-the-fact” and any Law is open to interpretation.

Although I noted my father is almost 80, and I was at least 14 when I began working, a direct result of his neglect to provide child support, I should have established a time frame - four decades ago - to explain why vandalism, theft, and other laws were not a part of recourse at that time.

One point that hit a nerve, was the suggestion my mother was responsible or should have had the authorities arrest my father for assault, and so on. The ability and unfortunately, the unwillingness to arrest a spouse for abuse is truly a more recent exigency.

Too often, the decision to arrest was left to the official at the time. As with many laws, domestic laws were created after-the-fact. Not until one-to-many had died.

It wasn't too long ago, the abused spouse and the children knew not to contact the “authorities” for help, much less tell anyone, for fear of reprisal. Awareness of danger regarding domestic conflicts has only been taken seriously, by all authorities, in the past 20 – 25 years. Only then as a result of lawsuits against law enforcement agencies that clearly contributed to the death or severe disability of one they were to protect.

Social Service Organizations were predominately accountable to the poorly formed “family court” systems engaged in the care of abandoned, neglected and abused children. Abandoned, neglected and abused spouses found opportunity for help to be mostly, unknown. Of course, any law begins as a pebble in a pond, slowly the ripples move outward to touch more and more of the pond's water.

Wait! The one occasion when the “authorities” or the local law enforcement was called, it did not occur, at all, as you might expect. Early one evening, I was caring for my baby sister while my father was on a tirade (my mother had recently taken a part-time job and was not home), I responded very quietly, to my father, “But your mother does that.” In return I was punched in the face, knocked to the ground and kicked. Opening my eyes, I saw my father had gone to the laundry room. He was going for the belt.

I am unaware how, but I fled to a neighbor's home. I didn't know how much she knew, but she was a close friend to my mother and I needed help. Later I realized I had chosen, in that quick second, I would not be hit by him-again.
I am sure you concluded my neighbor or I called the police. Nope, my father called. He told the “Chief” a good friend of his that I had become belligerent and ran away.

I cared for this neighbor's horse and dad figured if “Joann” was home, then I would hide in the barn.

When the Chief arrived Joann told him the situation and called my mother at work so he could talk with her. I hid in her pantry because I knew the only way my dad could get the Chief to come personally was to lie.

My mother spoke with the Chief over the phone and said she would leave and take me home. He agreed and Joann tried to get me to come out of the pantry to wait for my mother. I knew my dad, and I knew this would not acceptable to him.

It wasn't. Soon the Chief returned, and explained my father would let me come home, but if I didn't then he (the Chief), would have to “arrest you and you will go to juvenile detention. You don't want that do you?” A kid does not soon forget those words.

As for his agreement with my mother? “I don't want her to be worried about you. But, I have to follow the law.” The Law. What law, whose law, and interpretation of law are, in a phrase, in the eye of the beholder.

Sadly, today's laws are still based on interpretation. The idiom, “Can't beat a dead horse”, describes attitudes of child support. What I mean is, society has become numb to the cries of single mothers abandoned by their spouses and paramours. Oh, please do not attempt to lay blame with one or the other.

It is one thing to marry, to make a commitment, then the couple's marriage, actually their “institution” of marriage to break-down, no matter the reason(s); it is quite another when two people “play house” and their offspring are real, live babies; not plastic dolls.



Too many men and women have created a new “family” format in recent years. One that places lust before common sense. New terminology attempting to justify a woman's independence is nothing more than rhetoric.

To suggest a child does not need a father, a male equal to a female, is redundant, at best, and ignorant at worse.

In the same manner, attempts to reason the do' or don't for child support have been lost in that rhetoric. So the father, unfortunately the majority case, finds a way to weasel of his commitment, to ignore his obligation to the child (ren) he brought into the world, his ability to walk away, only desecrates the concept of family.

Addition: Just a few hours ago, I learned my father has been hospitalized; probably for the last time.

I visited with him about 10 days ago. I did not expect the response I had. The man who had scared me as a little girl, and continued to intimidate me years after, sat before me as a withered, pale and confused person.

I looked into his deep blue eyes, now cloudy with sickness and age, trying to find the father I needed, but I found my father. A self-made man who threw away his life – his family – just to prove a point.

I looked into the soul of a man who was creative, intelligent, and strong, and I saw the angry frustration of one who set aside his teachings of values, ethics, and moralities to save a buck under the umbrella of ‘getting even'.

During the five-hour drive home I spent most of the time in tears. After all these years the pain should be gone. I should have reconciled, some time ago, that my father had abandoned my sister, my brother and me for so many reasons he could not keep them all straight (sic).

He justified his behavior with one reason and another, always complaining and degrading my mother as he established her as the reason he “had” to leave us.

During this last visit, he attempted, once again, to address the issue as he excused his lack of commitment, to lay blame on my mother. The moment I opened my mouth to stop him, he seem to realize he had failed in justifying his actions.

This time, unlike each visit in the past, he stop without my needed to remind him to unless he wanted me to leave. He was too weary. It seemed he had finally given up.

I will leave tomorrow to see him. Long ago I managed to forgive him, but I continue to struggle to find a resolution.

It does not matter if your husband's “ex” upsets you because she demands support for the children they created, and please do not claim “they” are getting alimony – that went out with the need to marry before getting pregnant.

Don't like the deal or the arrangement? Get a lawyer.

Anyone who marries a “father” knows responsibility comes with their deal. Once a parent, always a parent. Do they expect the child to “go away” and leave the new couple in bliss? GET REAL.

If the new partner is not willing to place their “loved one's” children ahead of everything else, they are in denial (sic). New spouses or paramours are selfish to ever think they will, much less, should take first-place in the new arrangement.

Hey, even Hillary knows a mother can't do it on her own – well, at least she attempted to educate the world with her book.

Our society continually ignores the responsibility of our children, our future, for instant gratification. Society can only fool itself for so long until the damage created by its laziness and selfishness bites back.

There is no justification when a parent neglects or abandons their child.

A deadbeat parent is a deadbeat parent

victims and deserving of all our compassion.

Well said. I've dealt with a father who walked out myself, as well as an ex who walked out. Both were assigned CS *after* they walked and neither paid it. But I'm sure in some people's eyes, they are victims and deserving of all our compassion.

Deadbeat Parents

I am a divorced mom raising a daughter who is now 16. I would just like to say that there ARE deadbeat moms as well as dads, although the majority on this site appear to be deadbeat dads.

I also went through the system to try to collect child support with very little effort on anyones part but my own. When filing for support with the Prosecuting Attorneys Office in my state, I was given a list of things that were needed before my case would be opened. After supplying the PA'a office with these documents, I later found out that they were not even used.

My ex was actually "notified by mail" from the Prosecuting Attoney's office when he was to appear in court for a hearing. Well, naturally, he would not pick up his certified mail from the post office, so, the courts had no choice but to reschedule his hearing, because he was not aware of the date.

He was granted one continuence after another for various different excuses. I wrote letter after letter to the Prosecuting Attorney in my state (he was supposed to be such an advocate regarding deadbeat parents)asking why my ex had all of the rights? I also had to be the one to continually call the Assistant PA to find out what was going on & whether or not the rescheduled hearing would be taking place on that particular day. What a joke that whole experience turned out to be! In the end, the Assistant PA told me to keep my fingers crossed that my ex gets disability (from a supposed back injury...he still works for a friend though & gets paid under the table), otherwise I most likely will never see a dime from him! I might as well have been working for the PA myself, because his assistant didn't do anything for me!

Our justice system sucks! The criminals & deadbeats have all the rights. Our country is going to hell in a handbasket, so to speak. We run to the aid of every other country, but cannot even take care of our own in this country! I've been through the system twice now & I've been the one to have to plead just to get someone to listen to me! It's very, very sad!

Unfortunately, both of my ex's were deadbeat dads. I tried doing whatever I could to make sure that my girls could see their dads anytime they wanted to, making it as convenient as possible for them as well. But it was their choice in the end not to be a part of their lives. My oldest is now 31 & her dad has since passed away. She missed many, many years with him & never really got to know him, but that was his choice.

My 16 year old has a very big void in her life because her dad simply disappeared after he was granted disability benefits. He wants no part of this wonderful young lady who is growing up so fast. Although she doesn't talk about it very often anymore, I know that she misses her dad terribly. I've written letters to him & left messages that never get a response. I don't know where he is anymore. Again, that is his choice. A very bad one that he will end up regretting for the rest of his life. Life is definitely much too short not to be there for your children! Good luck Connie!

Court Date Approaching

Reed is due in court Tuesday, Oct 23rd.

Paralegal and I have paid and recieved support

I am a paralegal and I see the Family Law system as working against familys and not in the best interest of the children. The courts base their interferrence into private matters or civil law is on the pretense that it is in the best interest of the children . When in fact this buisness benifits the attorneys ,judges and all government employees who run the show in our courts.It was set up to lower the costs of welfare which most of the cases were cases of women who became pregnant and were not married. This welfare system gave benifits to children the average age of 16 to have babies.The system gave free medical care, food stamps, and cash on a monthly basis.The system seemed to give rewards to women who had more children, for the cash, and food stamps would increase with a certificate of pregnacy.They were allowed to collect benifits as long as they had a child age 5 or under.Not much was done to find these fathers for the law required paternity tests if the parties were not married and the suspected fathers did not have to obey a request for a test. They could be compelled by a court order and this is where the attorney's come in and laws are changed. The welfare system has made alot of reforms and now requires parents of children who become pregnant responsible and can now order support on unmarried fathers with a signature from the mother.There is a 2 year limit for benifits and child care, and job training are part of the package.The problem was created by government to an extent , for it paid children to have children, and did not hold anyone accountable except the tax payer.Now we have the child support system this system employs many occupations and the federal government pays a ton of money to these agencies every year with different hoops to jump though to win even more money. This comes at a high cost to us the tax
payor. All under the guise of the best interest of the children.This agency bases its success on how much money it can collect. They get to keep part of the money if they can create large arrears onto parents. They have contests with each other it is a sad thing the parents in this country allow it by signing up for there free service.It decides who wins and who loses. It looks at people as either a payor or a payee.It gives the children to one party and the other party gets the bill. If the bill is not paid they will go to prison.The party who wins the children also gets free legal representation and the other party is _______.The party who wins the children has all the control for if they decide not to honor the visitation they are not held accountable and if they are it costs the paying party not less than $1000.00 to bring it to court which the other party will have there free attorney for protection. The paying party has to pay this support but is not allowed to deduct it as an expense from his taxes and the payee does not have to claim it as income.The amount of money ordered to pay is not compared to what the costs are for raising a child it is based on the husbands and wifes income but you will rarely see the parent with the children having to show the court how they have contributed to the cost of rearing the children or how the money in support was spent. If the payor becomes ill or layed off and cannot pay support and because of the loss of the job or injury cannot afford to get an attorney to request a downward modification he falls behind quickly. Then the support agency quickly adds interest as high as 10% in CA that accrues monthly. Now the payor is faced with having to pay a large sum of money or be arrested and held up to 6 months in jail.The payments are getting larger for they do not stop if party is imprisioned. This forces payors to go into hiding .This has been the cause of many men taking their own lives. These agencies then plaster Deadbeat Dads pictures on the internet like the ten most wanted low lifes of the world which maybe some of them are . But some have just been caught in an unfair legal system and being punished for being poor. Has anyone known of a family put in jail because they were poor? They have radio commericals with the little girl saying where's my daddy ? Who do you think pays for this crap? I do not see how this is in the best interest of the children. I have seen what is working with familys and in the courts and that is parents not using the free "help" . Parents that decide to take this power out of the governments hands and do what is right is what is working. The best interest of the child is to have a mother and a father in their life on a regular basis. It is not their fault you two idiots could not get along. The money is the problem. How many people do you know that will pay for something they never get? How does anyone feel about being placed in a position that you have to pay to see your children? These parents who have the children in their care can forgive the other parents debt and start to share the children. No one should go to jail for a debt and with the interest the courts add on it is a debtors prison.Parents who have contact with there children will take care of their needs and do not need the government to make a winner or loser within the family. The parents will benifit by sharing the children if a mother needs to go back to school or a parent needs care for the children after school think about it 2 parents to make sure your children are cared for. Have rules to this shared program set up from the beginning. Stop punishing a parent by charging them a fee for not having them in their life anymore on a daily basis. This is unfair and a punishment for it is unfairly awarded along with free legal representation to one party.Parents stop letting the government split your family apart. We do not need government to make decisions about how we raise our children. They have no buisness interferring and causing such harm to all divorced parents. They should promote shared parenting but then there would be no money in this now would there? What parent wants to be seperated from their children and why wouldn't a parent feel this treatment unfair?Let the children have both parents.It is a proven fact children become much better people if both parents are in their lives.Do what is right give equal time to your children share them do not award money to either parent, why should anyone get paid for this. Can you hire a mother or father to take your place? Its time to take our family back from the destructful actions of the government. Parents do what is best forgive these debts and arrange to share your children. Live close to one another have a plan mom days dad nights and switch weekends , holidays ect. Share every other month and take turns claiming them on taxes. Grow up ! Why should we allow our fathers to become criminals for a money judgment.Parents stop fighting with each other forgive the debt and share the children . You say its not about the money or is it? Money is the problem . Anyone need help to make an agreement to do this I will charge $40.00 for a stipulation to present to the court along with a shared plan for the parents.tskymom@aol.com

straight forward assessment of our wonderful predicament of child raising

Thanks Terrie!

Thanks for such a straight forward assessment of our wonderful predicament of child raising in America.

He claims his barber license was reinstated- he lied

In a recent conversation with Mr. Powers, he claimed the court reinstated his barber license because he paid $20,000 of his back child support. But in checking the State of Oregon's Cosmetology license database today, it's still revoked. To check for yourself, just put his name in the search form:

https://elite.hlo.state.or.us/elitepublic/LPRBrowser.aspx

Apparently his girlfriend "Jan" has kicked him out of their apartment in downtown Troutdale. I don't know where Mr. Powers is living now. Shades are drawn in the windows of his barber shop, so it's impossible to tell if he's living there. I haven't been by there during the day recently, so I don't know if his barbershop is open during business hours, or if he's cutting hair without a license. Last time I drove by, his red Dodge pickup was still parked in front of the barbershop.

By the Way -

Some of you don't seem to understand why I am doing this post...
"If he loses his shop and ability to work then he can't earn money; he can't pay you".... duh!

He has known he is responsible for 18 years and HE worked as a barber during AND after being discharged from the Navy for insubordination (in part due to his not paying support - he became obnoxious when they forced him to bring in money orders for support and when the wage assignment was finalized and he could not stop the payments he Flipped out. He is NOT eligible for reinlistment!! Ask his former Command Master Chief Drasik (sp?)

He REFUSED to pay from the start and every step of the way. He has been working as a barber and has not paid (unless forced and refused to pay court ordered amount even when they reduced it to $250 he would only pay $200 sometimes and that was usually because he had to sign an agreement to pay to get licenses reinstated - one payment and then nothing until the next time facing court)... instead he bought collectibles and created a museum like barbershop. I hope you all enjoyed the luxury at the expense of my daughter.

What did he do with the money he sold his truck with or the art? NOT pay support! He refused to pay and he created his life the way it is by the choices he made. He made those choices I DID NOT MAKE THEM.

How much money did he spend or he lose in his "get rich quick" schemes and vacations and this supposed property he own in another state (Ohio? - not sure), and the jewelry he wears and all that food in his fat gut! (not a judgement - a fact) and the collectables? The statue he had in his shop he bragged himself to be $26,000.

What goes around comes around which is why I follow the principle of treating others the way I want to be treated. Don's life and situation is his creation , his choice. Me not saying anything before 2000 did no good and all these years he has lied to the courts and the taxpayers had to pay his support via ADFC.

He owes(d) the state of CA, AZ and MA for the assistance they gave me. I do not have to pay it back...HE DOES. If he was not responsible the courts would not allow ME to force him... THEY TOLD HIM TO PAY AND THAT HE IS LEGALLY THE FATHER. " I " am not doing this to HIM.. HE is doing it to HIMSELF...

Maybe if you are not getting this concept you are not too bright. Ignorant is a word that comes to mind (meaning the having lack of knowledge about a subject or situation). Get over it and move on, it is not your business to judge me. If you have nothing nice or productive or relevant to say... GO AWAY! Spend your time more wisely like getting your life and your relationships in order. You are miserable! So spend your energy there and not in my business.

People who are happy and satisfied with their lives want the same for others; those who are not, spend time gossiping and causing problems for others ...which category do you fit into? Don't answer just think about it and focus on the mess in your life.

If you keep saying the same lie over and over it doesn't make it true, especially when it comes down to proof... I have it and you DON'T. I have no use for anyone who believes Donald. Anything said on Deadbeat Don's behalf is an opinion from a brainwashed or bribed person who hasn't been burned by him YET!

I have had compassion for Don and tried my best to help establish a relationship with his daughter and he blew it each time by being a self-centered "my way or the highway" type of guy, who would even listen to her when she tried to tell him who she was and how she felt and what her interests were.... EVERY CALL ENDED IN TEARS and now his own flesh doesn't want anything to do with him unless it involved her fist or foot connecting with his....

Enough said...

Namaste!

Update: Back to Coury for Probation Violation today

Oh boy, where do I start. First to thank those who are helping me, especially Chevybones and Arthur!

To Satisfied Customer,Boring, Oregon,U.S.A. and Xdezyn Clackamas, OR
I do have not lived in a trailer park since my daughter was 3 years old and she is 19 now. So I know this is Reed (or someone he has conned into believing him and to speak on his behalf).

Since you like math so much do this math. He owes me right now $64,101.98. The original court order was $350 but he refused to pay it so the final court order was to pay $467 a month and when he did not pay it was raised to $560.40 a month. He signed the CONSENT TO ADOPT (meaning he gave permission for my ex-husband to adopt her... they are not ADOPTION PAPERS) in 1995 and was given his consent back appropximately 2.8 months later. How much did Donald owe in support before he gladly tried to weasel his way out of her life? He makes it sound like he thought her whole life she was adopted and JUST found out... He only thought she was adopted for 2 years and 8 months!!! He never got the FINAL ADOPTION papers so HE KNEW ALL ALONG SHE WAS NOT ADOPTED!

What about the adoption papers that were signed by all the parties involved?
Well if you read the post you would know that the adoption did not go through because I LEFT MY EXhusband he did not leave me. I legally applied for govermnet assistance while married because my ex was on unemployment, no fraud going on there. My ex decided not to adopt and "Reed" (his middle name by the way) only thought she was adopted for LESS THAN 3 years so, ask him why he was in arrears for not paying support BEFORE the CONSENT TO ADOPT was signed. The adoption was not filed. He willing and gladly gave her up as to not pay the support. It did not say he still did not owe the arrears prior to his giving consent to adopt and he has known since 1998 she was not adopted and never bothered to step up. EVER before or after! (if I repeat it enough maybe it will sink in? I hope)

In regards to "By the way, if anyone wants to see the adoption papers filed in Mohave County Arizona ... all you have to do is ask." By all means do! It states it is a CONSENT TO ADOPT not actual adoption papers and it states that it is only valid if the adoption became final. How convenient he overlooks that part. Perhaps if he shows you the papers you can point it out and explain it to him because the courts can't make him understand. Ask him if he ever received FINAL ADOPTION PAPERS. I also have a letter from the Mohave County Attorney office stating that the Consent to adopt would be returned to Mr. Powers against my wishes) since the adoption was not filed. The GOVERNMENT has told Donald Powers that there was no adoption and that he IS THE LEGAL FATHER but he is in denial and like a pitbull cant release it.

The fact is the court told him to pay or go to JAIL and he chose to go to jail and give up his successful business. Afterall the support order was for $467... he didn't make enough to pay that every month? Maybe he was not successful afterall. He is going back to court today at 2:30 for PROBATION VIOLATION so no matter what he says, the court, the LAW says he is responsible! He will keep going to jail until he pays every penny! No one waived my debts because he didn't pay support.

If you belive him and he is such the great guy, why don't you help him pay his debt. Why are there no fundraisers for my daughter... she was as needy as those he was helping. His priority was strangers and not his flesh and blood. She and I are innocent... we did nothing wrong but love him and give him the benifit of the doubt. We were the ones abused by him and you feel sorry for HIM

If you are not Donald Reed hiding behind "satisfied Consumer", How can you speak of me like you know for a fact and feel name calling is appropriate... I don't know you and you were not in my shoes when I lived with him and supported our daughter after he abused (physically slapped her in the face at 11 months old) and abandonded her.

I don't see how it is necessary to name call ( "Connie 'ample buttocks means fat a*s." "to lazy or stoned" "full of s**t." ) The fact I was in a trailer park is childish, see I was in that trailer park because I had to leave my home in fear for my and my daughters safety. Reed didn't just "threaten" me like his ex-wife Lorraine (as prevoiusly stated by another post) he physically abused me and I had to hide in a military abuse shelter on the air force base while he went on to work and to find Lorriane and sucker her with his lies. She assisted him in helping evade support. I had to leave Hawaii and go to the park in CA (paid for by USN) and apply for AFDC and food stamps because Donald Reed Powers refused to pay support. He forced me into hiding and poverty while he lived his life.

I did what I had to do to take care of our daughter. I am not ashamed of anything I did or said. I have lived my life through a filter of integrity. Nothing I have said is a lie; it is all fact backed up by court documents. The Triple I CORI check doesn't show up anything ... he looks like an upstanding citizen but I have court papers (restraning orders)from HI,CA,AZ and MA stating otherwise. He was threatening me too. Even after I left.

SO... if any of you who know Reed well will show up at court ( if not today, it is just a preliminary the actual court date will be in a month or 2) and speak to Judge Kirshner telling of his character and your personal experience it would be a blessing to me. If you cannot showup a letter written to Judge Kirshner would be fine.

Donald, resistance will only make things worse for you. It was not necessary to give up your shop and let everyone find out about who you REALLY ARE. It was only $467 - 560 a month ($116.75 - 140 a week) You have had choices to make every step of the way and you continue to make the same ones. You could have sold the art collectables and paid your debt and still looked like a good/great guy for doing the right thing. The facts won't change no matter what you do and the longer this goes on and people start looking closer. your stories will unravel and it will be obvious to all, not just Arthur and Chevybones that you are a fraud!

Amanda turned 18 Aug 31st, 07 and she still has not and never will contact you so all that waiting for nothing, hu? You were not there for her her whole life and she has no need for you now. I try to convince her not to hate you and have compassion but she has her own perspective on things. Just don't hold your breath... I couldn't even convince her to write to you when you were in jail.

Please do the right thing and stop creating negative Karma. That goes for you name calling judgmental souls who don't have facts before they speak. Listen to "What If" by Scott Stapp @ www.lyrics.com

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten". Albert Einstein also said..."The thinking that got you to where you are now [no matter how good it is] probably won't get you where you want to go."

Peace to all!
Connie

Observer comments - It takes two to make a child and it takes two to raise a child.

For whatever reason that two parents cannot be together anymore, it does not mean the child(ren) should suffer. They need both their parents.

I have seen child support issues from all three sides. The third side being the child's. I was in big brothers for a number of years, and it was heart breaking to hear these wonderful little boys speak lovely of a father they rarely see. The mother would say that "He did not pay child support, so he cannot see his kid!" The mother would think she's punishing the father when it is really the child that suffered most. Besides that, it is child 'support' that was owed, not child 'rent'.

I did see one case that was really good. Both parents had divorced and re-married but when it came to the child that they had together they were a team. Both parents would be there for that child (current spouses had no input). Ball games, emergencies, special events, disapline, you name it, both parents were there and supportive. Their personals differences were never spoken of in front the child.

Even though both his parents were not in the home together, that boy came up right with the full loving support of both parents and he lacked for nothing. That is responsiblity!

I hope that emmbarasses some of you!

For all you dead-beat parents out there: you had a hand in bringing that child into the world, now have a hand in taking care of and raising him.

Update

Mr. Powers did not show in court today instead another stall tactic and court is rescheduled for Novenber 27th. Mr. Powers drove on his suspended drivers license and got a DUI and got a psychiatrist to write a letter that he is mentally ill/depressed and can't work or attend court - something like that. I was so pissed when the attorney told me I hope I got that right.

He has "no job" and "no money" but can afford to go to a doctor and get a letter written???? Oh Please!!! Aren't you Oregon tax payers tried of paying for this guys court appointed attorneys. He didn't and can't prove his income in order to be appointed an attorney but they give him one anyway!!! The reporter heard his attorney saying at last months hearing that he was going to get a psych evaluation. Now he is trying for a insane/mentally ill defense? LOL On hsi first contempt - he lied , said he was indigent and needed court appointed representation and threatened me by finding out where I live and teling me he was coming to MA to my home. I got a restraining order and he HIRED Atty Richard Wier to represent him in the R.O. case. NO MONEY??? he used my child support money to hire an attorney and was willing to pay round trip airfare, stay in a hotel, and rent a car to come to my home!!!! (unless he was plnning on harming us and getting back on the plane the same day.) Either way he has CASH and is REFUSING TO BE RESPONSIBLE!!!

He isn't to insane to operate an illegal barbershop and hide his cash and go on camping trips and buy collectables for his museum-like barbershop!!! Now watch how fast he comes up with the cash to defend himself and pay court costs for the DUI.

Does anyone have any evidence or willing to show up in court (or put a statement in writing) any facts you have about Mr. Powers. This nightmare has got to end soon.

All he has to do is pay his support and he can keep his barbershop but he is digging himself into a hole he can't get out of.

Thanks to the report on KATU.com (child support owing dad) the attorney now has proof(pictures and video footage) he has been earning an income.

If Jan is still operating thee shop then Don is ... Yes DON, Donald. He calls himself Reed to sound impressive. Who is impressed? His excuses and stalls are running out... ANy help or info is appreciated. I am sending copies of these reports to the judge. The next judge supposedly doesn't fall for this crap.

If he is getting depressed it is because his game is coming to an end and he is NOT GETTING AWAY WITH IT> It is just a matter of time... soon very soon!!!

Thanks for all your rebuttals and info!!!
Connie

Child Support is for the Children, Dead Beat Dads MUST BE PUNISHED!

Hi there, I've read all these posts over the past hour and I'm personally disgusted with most of these posts, especially the ones posted by Monika, and any other person against Connie's position.

I am 20 years old and my parents are divorced. i'm so happy they are because they were driving me nuts when they were together. Anyone who is anti-divorce is also a freaking maniac. Granted, marriage is a sacred act between two people who pledge to love each other forever, but you can't predict what might happen. Why spend your life being miserable with someone you fall out of love with? Not to mention, when your kids grow up (if you have any), and you are miserable in the relationship, they will be miserable as well. 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce nowadays, and I think kids today are much more intelligent and intuitive and can figure out for themselves that we all should be a little more self-satisfying.

Anyway, 50 freaking grand in back child support? Oh my gosh - anyone who disagrees with Connie must be out of their mind!!! Imagine the life that their child could have if only Mr. Powers paid what the court told him he owed. This is not for Connie to live well and go to the spa every day - this is for her child - the same child that Mr. Powers created with her - the same child that he should be supporting in some way, shape, or form.

For those that don't understand, think of it this way. Connie has had to work I'm sure, full time for the past 12 or so years just to pay for her daughter. It's not just her child though - it's Mr. Powers. AND WHERE IS HIS SUPPORT? It's not about giving the child to him or letting him visit her - he clearly doesn't want to. He thinks he can start over and ignore his debt and his child.

Connie - if you read this, I will help in any way that I can, although I'm not sure what I can do. I understand the importance of child support, as my mother needs it to provide for my younger brother (who happens to be 16). My father tried to skip out on child support but they found him and now it is debited from his paycheck every week. Don't get me wrong, I love my father and he is still a part of our lives, but he tried to be a deadbeat dad, and I simply have no tolerance for men out there who will make a baby and then run away.

That's my fifty cents

You guys shouldnt put this woman down because she wants to get ahold of this man for the money he owes for HIS child.

Listen...

You guys are forgetting the fact that it is BOTH OF their child. She shouldnt be bombarded with all the costs of a child to a man who is capable of paying also. Obviously he is not worth the child seeing if he isnt fighting to have her either in his home or having visits. OBVIOUSLY he is a dead beat father or he would be pursuing her. Obviously you guys arent being realistic here. Why should she push the daughter on him. Let me tell you from the point of view of a child with a Dead beat father. Im better off without him. Knowing that he wanted nothing to do with me.. thats his loss. Mam' the Strong Independent Woman with the Daughter... Dont listen to the Jerks on here. You do the best you can with what God has given to you. Trust in him and raise your daughter to be a good person. And tell her everyday that no matter what, you will always love her, and be there for her. And Remind her of responsibility and morals, and ethics. and there should be nothing more for you to worry about. As for the others here who disagree with this woman trying to get what her daughter deserves, Stop being Ignorant and look at the biog picture.

PS It is sad that a 22 year old person has to tell you (adults? I suppose) How to think. Grow up or smarten up. Get a life. Obviously you dont have much of one if you are on a site like this giving crap to a person trying to get things figured out. You guys are annoying me.

Im out.

Consumer

Connie I admire you for raising your daughter on your own without much money. That's extremely admirable. I know it can't be easy. You may not have material things but you're teaching her so much more than that. Keep up the good work & don't let the jerk get you down, he's not worth it. His life is s*** compared to yours because you're a good person & he is scum. Your daughter is lucky to have you for a mom!

P.S. to last Update

He did not pay $20,000 to get his license reinstated, he paid $200 at the beginning of October. He claims he is not working and he pays $200 here and there. He has paid $200-$250 randomly only totaling $1277 since October 2006. He owes $560.40 per month; $6724.80 a year. Those of you who get your hair cut at his shop know that if he is working and can pay $200 he can pay the whole $560.

It is not a matter of "Don't have it" it is a game he is playing. He has to impress the community with his flashiness. So everything he has; he has taken from his daughter... Are you impressed yet?

Aren't you tax payers pissed yet about him operating an illegal business and not paying taxes while your tax dollars are paying for his court appointed attorney and court costs for the circus they call a court hearing? This has been going on for 17 years... in Oregon for at least 8 years. Hello?? Is anybody out there???

Peer pressure is what is needed to "make" him do the right thing. If you won't do it for my daughter, do it for yourself so your tax dollars are not wasted!!! Make him license his business and pay taxes like everybody else. (keep in mind he claimed he only earned $314 on his 2995 taxes - LOL) First he has to pay up his debt and get his revoked license active again!!! If you all think he is so great then do a community fund raiser to pay his debt for him, don't give your donations directly to him however...he will keep it for himself.

Well I have been depressed too but I was responsible and put in more than his share to take care of her. He is realizing that the game is coming to an end and has threatened me because "this is causing (him) problems" and used money he could have paid for support to hire an attorney (mentioned in above update) when I went to court for protection. SHOULD ANYTHING HAPPEN TO ME - DONALD IS TO BE THE PRIMARY SUSPECT. It is obvious if he is hiding his cash and hiring attorneys so he could hire someone else to do his dirty work to hurt or rid of me to erase his "problem" that he created for himself. He had it easy only having a fixed flat rate of support.

Do any of you know anyone who has raised a child (food, clothing, shelter, plus) on $560 a month? I doubt it!! I made many sacrifices and had to come up with more than his share in addition to mine. When I couldn't, we collected state assistance. He owes those states for money paid to me too. What kind of guy would laugh at the fact we were living in poverty while he was living so extravagantly?

Any pictures you can take... help to sell his truck (is it still for sale?), buy his collectables>>> anything you can do to help would be appreciated. Just be sure to NOT pay him directly. Instead pay to DOJ/child support division towards his debt! I am pretty sure he can not run to another state like he has done in the past (from HI to ID to OR) to avoid his debt and start over since he has no "driver license" and no "barber license" so you all are stuck with him draining your tax dollars.

Move on with your life. - If people do not want to be found, they simply will not be found unless they are sloppy about it.

I have read this whole thread and the thought occurs to me that you are not the first woman in the history of the world to raise a child on her own.

This money you say he owes you seems to be a big issue. Forget about it. If they caught him tomorrow do you actually think he will sit down and write you a check in full? Why not devote the time and energy to your daughter that you are devoting to worrying about this creep?

You say it is not about the money BUT most of the time when people say "Its not about the money it is about the principal of the matter"...its about the money.

If people do not want to be found, they simply will not be found unless they are sloppy about it. "The other woman" is helping him? Do you really think that is the case? If it is, wait for the fall out. They will have it out one day and she will have her ear stuck to the phone making calls on him. But to try and skip trace him would be a waste of time. He will bob to the top one day, then what? If he claims he is broke and homeless, nothing you can do anyway.

Forget about it. Love your daughter and thank god you have her. Worrying about crap like this is just taking time out of your life you will never get back, and it is taking her time away from you, time neither one of you will ever get back. Find some inner peace and be happy.

I agree with Lori.

I agree with Lori. It is the responsibility of BOTH parents to provide for the children. It doesn't take one parent to create the child, so why should it take just one to support one?

My boyfriend has a five year old son from his first marriage. Up until a few months ago, he paid $800 a month in child support FOR ONE KID. He was assigned to pay this because for 2002 (the year before the divorce) and the first few months of 2003, he was making really good money. He is an electrician and sometimes has really good overtime opportunities. In May of this year, he received a $13 an hour pay CUT. Obviously, this was a huge blow for him and $800 was not realistic anymore. Not anywhere close to being realistic. Let me also point out that his ex wife is now married to the man she cheated on him with and has a baby with that man. She REFUSES to work. I say refuse because it is true. She wouldn't even put her 5 year old in pre school a couple years back because she didn't want him away from her. Actually what it was, is she knew if he was in pre-school she would have no reason not to work. As a result, this kid speaks like a 3 year old and will probably have to repeat kindergarten. He can't even recite his numbers in a row. He just wasn't ready to start this year. He needed that exposure to pre-school (which my ex offered to pay 100% of) .She should have been working anyway. She moved in with her parents after the divorce and had no money. The bottom line is, this woman refuses to work which is pathetic. Now she is remarried to a guy getting his degree who coaches soccer part time to make money. They had to move in with her parents. I don't understand what this girl is thinking!! She feels that my boyfriend should pay for everything that pertains to their kid, in addition to the child support he already pays her.

In the divorce, the judge ruled they split everything 50/50. My boyfriend had the money to pay all the medical bills when they came up before and he just didn't want to deal with his ex so he just paid them. Now that he is making such less money, the ex flips her lid when he reminds her she needs to pay her half of the medical bills. It is a constant fight. She tells him all the time she will just keep popping out babies so she won't have to work. Her new husband is a real fool for letting her trap him the way she trapped my boyfriend. She pulled the 'I'm on the pill' routine. Hey why not, it worked the first time right?

There are way too many women who use their kids as paychecks. Unfortunately, my boyfriend used to be married to one. There are plenty of guys who get taken advantage of by their kids mothers, too. I feel sorry for you Lori, it is disgusting that your ex won't own up to his responsibilities. Just like it's disgusting that my boyfriends ex won't own up to hers. Her son can't live a better way of life because mommy won't work. I really hope you get your money somehow and that your kids grow up always knowing that even though Daddy wasn't around, Mommy loved them enough for both of you guys. Good luck to you!

Outrageous Update on Donald Reed Powers

Remember him he is the one this page was originally started about. I am glad that many of you have found an outlet to vent and tell your story but this deadbeat I am reporting is the ultimate in evasion.

Mr. Powers got his court appointed attorney. He was told my the court if he entered a program for 6 months he wouldn't have to pay the arrearages he owed for the 6 months. Claiming he is too poor to pay he began intimidating me into going to court and waive the $58,000+ he owes me. I REFUSED. Afterall no one is waiving my debts. He asked me for my address and I refused saying that after the last conversaion he had with our daughter she wants NOTHING to do with him and he is not welcome here. Well he somehow got my address and social security # and told me he was getting on a plane and coming to my house. I immediately went to court and had a temporary restraining order issued and served. When I went to court today I found out he hired a different atty to represent him. An Attroney he also hired to represent him in 2000. Interesting that he just signed an affidavit in July- August 2005 saying he needed a court appointed (TAX PAYER PAID) attorney. In 2 months he has the $ to pay another attorney and come to MA on a plane and rent a car to drive to our house and pay for a hotel while he is here but can't use that $$$ to pay child support.

I decided to find out what the Board of Health who issues his barber license knows and they told me that they took his work for it when he told him that the Barbership Barber shop that employed him was owned by Barbership ,Inc. I called the Corporate Division and they said that it was not incorporated... it was just a business name and it was issued in 2001 and expired in 2003. But the OR-BOH said his facility license had been issued in 2003 and expired in 2005. He has been operating the barbershop without a license. Raking in all that dough for 5+ years and as Arthur his client said above he has an employee named Jan. Business can't be too bad hu? The BOH doesn't follow up unless a complaint is filed..so he gets to operate a business with no overhead...no license. I found out who owns the building he operates the barbershop in and I am trying to decide if I should inform them. By the way he answers his phone "Reed's BarberShop"...the OR-BOH has no facility license for that name either.

So you judgemental jerks who say us mothers are money hungry ...how do you feel about your tax paying dollars paying for a deadbeats fathers attorney? He makes plenty of money and pretends he is poor because he owns a business he doesn't have to license and probably doesn't pay taxes either. He rakes in all that cash he doesn't have to report while you all go to work and pay your taxes. Your taxes that has to pay for food stamps and medical insurance for the kids he decides not to support. Oh yeah I have to get government assistance to pay for my rent and deposit on the new place I have to move to because now he knows where I live.

Is all this fair to our daughter who has to work 2 jobs to pay for her school supplies and cloths because all my income and child support goes to shelter and utilities?....now she has to pack and leave her home and get rid of stuff that won't fit in the new, smaller place we have to move to. She is 16 and trying to concentrate on getting grades that could get her into college. She had to drop an AP class she needed because she couldn't focus on all the required work and she was in tears. He is still emotionally abusive from a distance. AND YOU THINK THIS IS OK????

He goes to court tomorrow again...I will update later.

Former Child Support Case Manager

If you have a good service address, I would advise having your underlying divorce decree registered in the state where the obligor is living; you will need to update information with the government agency in your state currently attempting to enforce the order.

Attempting to locate the obligor via Rip Off Reports is highly unlikely to result in any payments. (It has been my experience that if an individual knows how to avoid wage withholdings or contempt charges, they will likely continue the pattern indefinitely.) It seems that this online forum is likely more an outlet for your frustration. If you are truly seeking to reunite the child with her father, I would advise treating the child support arrearage issue separate from visitation or custody.

That's my two cents, having dealt with thousands of clients like yourself.

Update: Next court hearing - Jan 27, 08 @2:30

Naturally he showed up in court with an attorney (thanks to the taxpayers) and pleaded NOT GUILTY to probation violation.

Let me remind or catch you up... He was in contmept for not paying ...
Judge Kirshner told him to pay $10,000 or go to jail for 90 days
He got a DUI (anyone know what happened with that?)
He did not pay (although he sold his truck and the art disappeared)& went to jail.
He did not have to serve the entire 90 days and was ordered to pay $560.40 per month within 60 days of being released and DIDN'T! He paid $200- 250 and never made another payment. Which his why he is going back to court. His choice AGAIN.

Where is he working/cutting hair now? Why does he refuse to work a job(s) where he pays taxes like everyone else? He chooses to remain in a situation that gives the illusion he is UNABLE to pay when the truth is he is REFUSING to pay.

If you have information regarding the result of his chioce to Drive Under the Influence, I would be curious how much he willing gave to the courts in fines and driving school rather than take responsibility for his support payments. He probably had to sell the truck because he lost his license..Who bought his art collectables or did he just move to another location and set up another shop?

He will be in court January 27th at 2:30. I wonder how much jail time he will get this time. I am hoping and will strongly suggest she doubles it to 180 days and orders him to serve every day of it. Everytime he is in violation he should go right back and every time he does, the time should be doubled. He can spend the rest of his life in jail if he wants. You taxpayers are alright with paying his attorney fees and supporitng him while in jail right?

How is this worth it to him? What is he getting out of refusing to take responsibility? It is only $140 a week!!!!! He can't be that great of a barber if he can't pay $140 a week; and the "Charity" he gives is his "mask" he hides behind so you won't see what he is. How can anyone say that this "charity" he provides has more value than his daughters emotional wellbeing. She survived poverty but still suffers from the scars of his absence and his lack of interest in her wellbeing.

Any information you can share that will help justice be served is appreciated. This is for every child... enough is enough. Stand up for all the children who deserve a better life.

I did the best I could but she has two parents...why is it ok for him not to do his best and to make things more difficult and life more of a struggle than it already is?

There is no justification for what Donald Powers has done and there is no remedy to heal it except to start doing the right thing NOW but instead he makes the same choices that got him to where he is today.

Today is a new day, Donald... what will you do NOW? Everytime you have the opportunity to make a choice you are excersizing your freewill... your choices have consequences that shape your life into a perception of "Heaven or Hell". Hell is a place/situation YOU create. Each of our lives are shaped by our freewill/choices.
It is time to build a new life; the old one will no longer work for you. Your old choices will no longer serve you.

"If you always do what you have always done; You will always get what you always got" (Einstien)... what you have been gettin away with was not yours to have. You must earn honestly what you want.

I have no anger toward you and pray that you will awaken from the nightmare you have been living and discover the light within you beyond the dark place where you reside. Forgive yourself.... it is not too late to start doing the right thing.

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." - Ralph Waldo Emerson ...

Namaste!

any dick can be a father, but it takes a MAN to be a Dad... Core of the matter

Regardless if they got divorced or not, either this guy wants to be a part of the kids life (Unlikely) or he doesn't.

I am thinking that he doesn't. I can't see any father wanting to have visitation rights with his daughter if he moves all over the country as much as this guy seems to be doing.

"It not about the money" - Yes it is, this mother, like most women in this male dominated society, make about .73 on th dollar to men. In todays times we all know that you need a two (2) income family just to make ends. Someone care to explain how they expect a now single mother to do this on her own?

We have a Justice System in place, I am not saying that it is right / correct or fair. If you don't like it change it, there are methods in place for doing so.

So for all of the dead beat dads out there, that don't want to change the system, deal with it. Be a man - if you OWE it - Pay it.

Remember any dick can be a father, but it takes a MAN to be a Dad.

It is hippocritical to condemn then make an appeal to make a profit for yourself

Terri, I am the person who started this search for "Reed" Powers. I know you must have been talking in general to parents and not specifically to me because there is NO WAY you are calling me an "idiot" for not getting along with Donald or "Reed" as he prefers to be called now. My daughter is better off not having her father around (HIS CHOICE by the way). He became violent and after growing up in a violent home I know that is not good for any child. I agree with most of what you said...people should remain civil and share responsibility for the kids. Mr. Powers however found an older woman to take care of him so he would not have to work...he intentionally abandoned his responsibility. (Let me mention now that while I was home caring for my infant daughter he was getting a co-worker pregnant and he abandonded her too) How do you suppose women are supposed to support their kids alone with little to no education? You are assuming that all women are independently wealthy. I did go to college after my divorce and I still could not earn a living. I am recently finishing a trade school so I can earn more $$ than my degree can make me.

Are you actually saying that if your childs father becomes violent or just chooses to spread his seed elsewhere leaving a trail of offspring that it is OK? He should not be held responsible? What is the woman who only gets 2 years of GOV support and or can barely support herself supposed to tell her children? What does she tell her landlord? My daughter wants to go to college!!!

I think it is hypocritical to be so judgemental, bash the government (which deserve it) then make a pitch to make a profit from the situation.

I do believe that parents who decide not to stay together should agree to disagree. If the relationship isn't working then move on but you are still parenting partners. Stop playing games and trying to get even. You are only hurting your children. Some people are not mature enough to be parents.

Single mom who doesn't get child support

John...
First I would like to say that you are an exception to the rule when it comes to paying your child support above & beyond the court ordered amount that you were required to pay.
However, I do detect a bit of animosity in your statement where you say that you are "finally emancipated" from the courts.

Was it really that bad having to pay support all those years for your child? That's the way you made it sound anyway. Also, regarding the statement where you said that child support stops at age 18 or when the child gets out of high school...it continues if & when that child goes on to college. Will this mom have to also foot the bill for all of those expenses too? I know what it costs for a child to go to college these days. It's an overwhelming responsibility.

As a single mom who has already raised one daughter without the help of her dad, I am now raising another daughter several years later & experiencing the same thing. I am fortunate enough to be able to say that my oldest daughter who is now married grew up to be a wonderful well adjusted young woman even though her father wasn't a part of her life.

That was a choice that he made unfortunately which is the same choice that my ex husband now has also chosen to make with my 13 year old daughter. It sounds like Mr. Power's daughter is growing up to be just as well adjusted...thanks to her mom. So please don't judge her, because she's obviously doing all the right things in raising her daughter.

I've spent the last 2 years trying to collect child support through our court system. First, using The Division Of Support Enforcement, who then turned my case over to the Prosecuting Attorneys Office for a criminal non-support case against my ex husband due to the amount of back child support arrearages that were & still are due.

This consumed a lot of MY time & energy simply because as you stated the "friends & officers" of these courts don't do their jobs....which is exactly what happened in my case. If it had not been for me calling these people continually & doing the majority of the leg work myself (which is what they're paid to do) my case would never have been heard! After it was all said & done, my efforts turned out to be nothing but a big waste of my time.

The assistant prosecuting attorney was absolutely worthless & all I ever got was from them was a runaround & false information. I even went as far as to write to the Prosecuting Attorney himself in my state because he was supposed to be such an advocate on getting these dead beat dads to pay their child support. I never heard back from him.

After 2 years I've decided to give up my fight because I was recently informed that my ex is now on welfare & collecting food stamps! I was told that there is nothing more that I can do now to collect anything from him as long as he's living off of our government. How ironic that he's supposed to be the one helping me to support our daughter, when in reality, I'm supporting him through our welfare system! Is that justice or what?

I don't think that you realize how it feels to a single mom that has to struggle every day just to make ends meet. I can't count the hours that I've spent crying alone somewhere worrying about how I'm going to continue to provide for my daughter on my income alone. I live from paycheck to paycheck & there's just no money left after the bills are paid. How is it that a man who helps to bring a child into this world can't be the least bit concerned about the welfare of that child? I will never understand that.

Donald Reed Powers is a coward who has chosen to run from his responsibility as the father of his child. I hope that he has to spend the rest of his life hiding because he's a dead beat dad in every sense of the word & he deserves to be made to live up to his responsibility for the life of that child that he helped bring into this world! If this mom has the strength to continue this fight, then more "POWER" to her! (No pun intended)

Not for profit, You have no right to decide for your child if the father should be in the child's life

I was not addressing you in particular. I do not beleive you really think I am making a profit for offering a stipulation and plan for parents for $40.00 but you have had free legal representation so I will forgive your ignorance here. As for what I expect women to do like the co worker who became pregnant by your husband.

I expect woman to be more responsible for who they choose to have children with. I also do not think it is your right after you make a wrong choice of man to have babies with that you have a right to say it is best for your daughter not to have her father in her life. He was good enough to marry and have a child with now because you two idiots cannot get along is how I put it in my last correspondence, your daughter should go without a father.

Do you ever put yourself in the position of going to jail or paying alarge sum of money in order to see your child. Do you know why you have to search for the x without the help of the support agency? Because they want him to get more and more in debt for the longer it takes to collect the bigger the piece of the pie they will get. If you have a statute of limitations in your state they may become active in the year before the statute barrs some of the judgments, but don't hold your breath.

I am saying here you have no more rights then he does to be a part of your child's life and you could be on the side he is if the court ruled differently. No one has the right to take other people rights from them . The States are in it for the money they recieve from the Federal Government . Do you know California has to cut 10.6 billion from there budget that pays for support services . They used to be open on Saturday now they have to let over 300 attorney's go along with alot of other staff.

California did not meet the guidlines the Fed's set up they failed to accomplish an out of state program that worked within the time alotted. So they have been fined.Do you know they pay the Fed Gov debt first then themselves then the parents? Where do you think this money is going to come from? They have to have the deadbeat dad .

They need the bad guy even though it is a fact only 5% of fathers that can pay do not 5%!!!!!! 95% of fathers pay and they are guests told when they can visit their children.Why don't you look at the truth this man has to come up with a very large amount of money or he goes to jail right? Can he just stroll on over your house and visit his child? Does he really have a choice in seeing his child ?

What would it be like if the government fined us or took our children from us because we did not have enough saved for college in an account for them or took our children because we could not afford health insurance.Government is destroying family's for they make criminals of the fathers in this country and showing our children that fathers are bad if they don't pay mom and beleive they should go to jail.

Ask a child what they would rather have ? Dad back in their life or pay you ? What about the dad's who can't pay that's the real reason support is not paid, is it fair they have to hide in fear of imprisionment? Of all the fathers last year that could have qualified for a downward support only 6% were actually awarded the modification. Its a conflict of interest for the money collected goes back to the Judges in pensions and perks.

You have no right to decide for your child if the father should be in the child's life and only if he is a danger to the child should it be prevented. Have you heard of anyone who is married and unable to work be arrested for they did not send the kids to camp or buy them ice cream? Do you see people going to jail for not paying their Visa Card? What if the government started checking married couples to see if they were providing for their child as well as they did the year before?

Again, placing value as to child's happiness if one's children are not financially happy is ignorant. With a visitation interference rate approaching 77% and a divorce rate over 52%, the government and judiciary are destroying families at an unprecedented rate. This is how you make your profits. Delay until the interest rates of 10% are added and this doubles the principal of support ordered . Pass laws (no put laws in place) such as no statute of limitations on child support arrears, (which only applies to two other crimes that of murder and rape). In act laws of no retro modification and no interest removed after order becomes due is now a judgment. Where is justice and fairness at work here, when the governments own laws are in themself criminal.

One has the constitutional right to be lazy and slothful if they want. Most custodial parents do this every day. The courts cannot force people to work to pay support, especially if they cannot prove that the children will be put on the welfare dole. Because, of the onerous and fictitious child support guidelines established, 66% of all non custodial parents are unable to pay support.

If judges sentence people to jail for contempt of court for failure to pay support, it is an unconstitutional abrogation of their oaths of office, unconstitutional imprisonment for debt, and since child support is a civil matter (or derives out of a civil matter where non custodial parents are never read their rights or given their rights that a civil child support matter could be unlawfully converted into a criminal matter), there is no probable cause pursuant to the Fourth Amendment (or any sworn affidavit in support of a Warrant under the Warrants Clause of the Fourth Amendment) to arrest/seize someone and jail them for civil, commercial child support debts.

I am not saying Iyou shold withhold support I am saying Non custodial parents have a legitimate right to withhold financial support if they are being unlawfully deprived of seeing theirchildren for no cause. Parents have a fundamental liberty interest to the care, custody and nurture of their children. If a custodial parent is interfering with those fundamental rights, the custodial parent is committing a crime, perpetrating a fraud and committing child abuse against the child. Non custodial parents in some states have the right to go to court and terminate or suspend child support for visitation interference. The U.S. Supreme Court has also held that since parents have the fundamental right to the care, custody and nurture of their children and reciprocal duty to financially and emotionally support them also, this doctrine of reciprocals, prohibits the imposition of financial support if a parent is denied access to their children without justification.

To state parents have no right to exercise visitation if they haven't done so for years or if a support obligation is foisted on them is erroneous and ignorant. The right to parenting is a fundamental right, especially so if the other parent breaks the marriage up (over 70% of all marriages are ended by the women, so they can become custodial parents) and deprives the non custodial parent of access to the children. Visitation is a limited form of custody. If a parent wishes to exercise it, and their is no justification to stop it, that parent is entitled to their fundamental rights.

IX: Everyone has a right to challenge the amount of child support paid because it is artificially inflated, is incorrectly awarded by the state, and is derived from unconstitutional Soviet family law, in direct derogation of our republican form of government. Child support (financial) and divorce is communism, and anathema to our way of life. Equal custody (barring a clear and convincing showing of abuse) is the constitutional norm. However, the judiciary of this country, do to abuse of power and its own financial interests, keeps children from non custodial parents. This is anti-American and an act of terrorism.

Furthermore, child support has been calculated in an ad hoc fashion, was never properly legislated in all 50 states and was hurriedly put in place so as not to lose federal reimbursement incentive funding to the states. Child support awards are maintained at ever higher rates to get more "up front" federal reimbursement funding which then goes to state treasuries and is disseminated to judicial and state employee pension funds - hence, creating a financial and unconstitutional conflict of interest. This Country should promote family's to work together and share the children when the marriage fails .Use child support as an action a punishment for parents who chose not to be a part of the children's life don't court order it.
Everyone has a right to their children.

My daughter decided for herself she wants nothing to do with him

She does not wish to reuntie with her father ...he has had oportunities to talk with her and she thinks he is a jerk. I am using this site as an outlet for frustration like so many others who post rebuttals here. I can't afford an attorney. I just lost my job and have no where to move because after I gave my 30 day notice to move the new landlord decided not to rent to me; because I have integrity and decided to pay my October rent and give notice instead of givng my rent to them for the new place. My only option now is to rid of most everything we own and put the rest in storage and become homeless. Because the court wouldn't enforce it's own order and I did not receve support I am in debt. Well I could have screwed my current landlord and I didn't so I screwed my daughter and myself instead. Integrity is not honorable in this society. I should have paid my October rent to my new landlord to hold the place and when I moved out and got back my deposit I could have moved in and screwed my current landlord and his new family and left them without a tenant to pay the rent. I did the right thing and now I can be proud of that from a shelter bed I guess.

This corporate owned /operated America who is stripping us of democracy is laying off hundreds and thousands of people and there are less than a hundred jobs available.

The district attorney who took him to court on Tuesday did not inform me of the results or return my e-mails. So there is no update for that. What kind of democracy gives criminals more rights than the victims...American democracy! Democracy is dead folks....disconnect the tubes and wires and step out of your pods... you are in the matrix being brainwashed and spoon fed lies!

what about the adoption papers that were signed by all the parties involved?

According to the adoption papers signed by Reed and Connie this was supposed to be handled many years ago. Connie had an adoption agency in Kingsman Arizona approach Reed in 1995 about giving up his parental rights, which he did. Connie didn't complete the process when this occurred and now wants Reed to pay for her dereliction. For you people in the trailer park with Connie that means not doing what she was supposed to because she was either to lazy or stoned to complete her part.

Arthur, if your assertion about Reed making $1200 over a weekend is true then he would have to complete a haircut approximately every 12 minutes over an 8 hour period. If you have actually had your hair cut by Reed you know that he takes better than 20 minutes to complete a haircut when he is in one hell of a hurry. That being the case lets look at what the number really is. $15 per cut time 3 per hour times 8 hours. For people like Arthur with little grasp of mathmatical principals that equals $360 a day if he never eats or uses the bathroom. If you are going to include a comment here at least try not to be specious. For those of you in the trailer park with Connie and Arthur, that means full of s**t.

adoption papers

By the way, if anyone wants to see the adoption papers filed in Mohave County Arizona (which I have seen) all you have to do is ask. He keeps a copy of them with him just so he can show them to people who are to quick to judge. Reed acted in good faith when he signed those papers and they state clearly that he was irrevocably relinquishing his parental rights. I notice that Connie has never mentioned that. She never mentions that the guy who she was married to dumped her so she fraudulently signed up for welfare and is covering her ample buttocks by trying to screw Reed. For you sharing accomadations in the park with Connie 'ample buttocks means fat a*s.

Terrie, you have no right to judge or criticize

Terrie, Mr. Powers was great as long as things went his way and he thought he had me isolated and could control me and after he realized that was not the case he resorted to violence to bully me. That makes him the idiot not me. If I had stayed and took the physical and emotional abuse, let him cheat, and let my daughter think it was ok to live like that then I would be the idiot. No, I would not and obviously did not put myself in a position to go to jail or pay large sums of money, otherwise my daughter would be in CPS care and I would be in jail for abandonement. When I worked in a Child Protective service office a client went to jail for allowing her boyfriend to abuse her children..it is called "failure to protect". The point is I did porotect and he did put himself in that position but the government did not prosecute him for abuse or abandonment and he is free to live a "phat" life as he likes to call it anyway. VERY FEW MEN GO TO JAIL FOR NON-SUPPORT. SO that blows that point.

I agree the system the government has set up is wrong..it allows parents to abandon their child and then set themselves up to make a profit with no regard for the child's quality of life. The only reason for the condition of the economy and poor quality of life for some and not for others is the profit factor. Afterall it is easier to get a young adult to join the military and do their dirty work if they grew up in poverty and were promised travel, adventure and education if they grew up with no hope now isn't it.

But before you start calling me an idiot and tell me I have no rights to decide what is best for my child you should read everything I have said on this site.

Mr. Powers did not show his true colors until after she was born. He even had his commanding officer fooled. He gave up his rights when he SLAPPED her in the FACE when she was 12 months old and then would not provide ANY support until his commanding officer made him bring in a money order weekly to make sure I got the $.

You were the one to make this about visitation anyway for me it was all about support and quality of life for my daughter. What do you think entitles him to visitation? His slapping her in the face (yes I have a witness), his violence forcing us into hiding in a military abuse shelter, or the time when she had her 9th birthday party at a pool near the homeless shelter we had to live in because we had no support. This man is a pathological liar who drops his sperm and runs, He has 3 children with 3 mothers that I know of (who knows how many women he got pregnant cheating on his new wife) and HE doesn't support any of them and HE doesn't make any effort to see any of them.

You are incredibly judgemental, cold hearted and ignorant. I do think what you have proposed is important...people should come to an agreement even if it is just to agree to disagree yet be civil. For you to suggest that I have no more rights to be apart of my child's life is ridiculous. If I didn't care for her who should have?? He didn't want anything to do with her and abused and abandonded her long before I "refused him visitation". He cancelled plans to visit and says I refused him because the visitation was not on his terms. For example he wanted me to put my 14 month old on a plane from CA to HI. Even when she was 3,4, 5, 6... it would have been an emotional trauma for her to get on a plane alone and watch me walk away, fly for 6 hours and live with a stranger for 3 months. He even refused to visit her at HER request when she was 9 because he didn't agree to letting her get to know him slowly until she felt safe and willing to go alone with him after not seeing her for 8 years. He insisted that she come to him and his wife and stay for 3 months during the summer. He knew I had her best emotional interest in mind and would noever agree to something so absurd. No compromise just "his way or the highway".

You have no right to judge me or my decisions without the whole story or to generalize about any other parents story. Yes there are many emotionally immature parents out there who have no right to bring children into this world but once they are here that is not even a factor. Only the best interest of the child is. I am doing the best I can for my daughter and I am just trying to vent because he refuses to talk to me and to get some assistance to give her the quality of life that she deserves. You need to re-read this entire page and get off your condescending high horse. If you can't help me -- go away. You obviously have not been in a position similar to ours, you probably don't even have children or haven't had to raise them alone. If you were "fortunate" enough to be born with a trust fund, well that would make sense of your comments. If you want another cause to take up besides your worthy trashing of the Government who manipulates the people this country for their profit and has no concern for children then what about how they enable poverty so that they can lie & brainwash young children to join the military and do their dirty work so they can profit without getting blood on their hands. Rant about the manipulation of the ecomomy and the fact that they encourage sexual expoitation through media so all these children are having babies.

If men (and women) weren't allowed to abandon their children forcing the custodial parent to go to work full-time or more in some cases(more taxes for the gov) leaving no one to supervise and guide children during the most critical years of development then they would not have the opportunity or desire to have sex and have babies so young. Kids feel that they need some one to love them...they just want attention. Custodial parents care and love their children but are not around enough and are exhausted and still broke when they are. Mr. Powers chose not to consider his daughters feelings or needs. My daughter feels loved and has self-worth but she would not if I hadn't had self-worth myself. Parents have to make sacrifices and some just are too selfish to do that.

I don't expect, and no other custodial parent does either, the absent parent to pay 100% of the cost of raising the child like so many ignorant idiots have suggested in earlier rebuttals. We are just asking for help...we didn't bring these children in to the world alone. I went to college and I worked by butt off, sacrificing more than I should have had to give her food, clothing and shelter let alone little extras that 2 parent household children get. There were rough times between jobs and I could have finished college and got a better paying job sooner if he had paid support. Instead like you said the Government let me sit on welfare- living in poverty. I am where I am in life now because of the effort I put forth not because anyone , including the government helped me...if anything I felt abused and battered and held down because of the goverments lack of regard for me and my daughter. I felt like the prisoner while he led his "phat" life.

My daughter is now on a Model United Nations team, trying to resolve human rights issues for other countries she will not be another statistic of teen pregnancy, high school drop out, drug addict..... So I am a survivor and did not get sucked in to the plot of the US adminstration to take over the world by misinforming and terrifying us and getting us to do their dirty work. My daughter will not be their puppet, their slave. My daughter will not allow herself to be abused. My daugher will be a positive member of society.

I also suggest that you or anyone agreeing with you take up your cause somewhere else and keep any further comments to yourself. The parents who come to this site and vent are in similarly stressful situations trying to raise their children with little or no help.

If the absent parent were willing to come to an agreement they would not have abandoned (physically, emotionally, and financially) their children in the first place. I know dads struggling to paying support, or raising children alone with no help from the mother. Not all fathers are selfish but the ones who are have walked away from the rights they had. Calling those of us that did the best we could and suggesting that we could somehow control the actions of the absent parent will get you no where. So please put your energies toward causing change in the way the goverment dictates the quality of life for the people they supposedly represent.

Yes you have the right to rebuttal but it will only result in causing more stress and inflaming anger in those who are in my situation. I doubt that anyone reading this site can get their ex to cooperate or if they could that they appreciate your attitude enough to contact you for help. I know when my ex and I went to mediation he was very unwilling to compromise. If they chose to your contact info is in your orginal rebuttal.

Opening my eyes

I am thankful for the people who have made responses to this subject. I too am a dead beat dad. I am about 24,000 in the hole. But that is about to change. I am recieving a settlement for a injury I have incurred a few yrs ago. This accident is the main reason that I am in this bad of arrears to begin with. I plan to repay my ex wife for all back child support willingly, but also plan to treat my girls, the new hubbies daughter and the ex and the new hubby to a trip to Disney World this winter and make a deposit in a college fund for each of my two precious girls. It has been only in the past month that the girls finally made contact with me and wanted me to come up to Pennsylvania to participate in a function with them. They are now coming to the age that they can see and ask for me to be around. Needless to say I sold my personal items and would have sold my soul as to not dissapoint them. We now talk on the phone at least 3 times a week. I sold plasma and did a paid test trial for a mouthwash/toothpaste that blistered the inside of my mouth to have a little extra to spend on them. I got along very well with the ex and the new hubby. He was a fellow fire fighter in a adjacent town's fire company and we fought many fires together. I am a disabled veteran and a cancer survivor and a diabetic and soon to fulfill my responsibilities as a father and a man. Listening to all the entries and how it hurts the kids more than the ex spouse, opened my eyes. I am now invited to attend my oldest daughters high school graduation this summer and my younger daughters middle school graduation. They are planning to come to Florida this summer as well. Thank you all for the inputs even though they wheren't intended to me, it should open the eyes of any father that even the slightest bit loves their kids. To be truthful, the new hubby was the catalist that helped this along. He told my ex,"that no matter what,he is their father". Referring to me.
The trip to Disney is a plan to show everybody a little something they havent seen and a chance to completly reconnect with my girls. I hope that other dads that have fallen behind in support, have a chance to make amends and recreate a relationship with their kids. No matter what the reason for default, please keep in contact and be honest about the reasons why. It will be easier in the long run!!!!!

It Takes A Real Man To Be A Father!

I got married when my daughter was 1 an 1/2 years old, to a man who is the best step father to her will actual he is her Daddy, in my daughter eyes !! My daughters's real father as I call him, Sperm Donor doesn't give a damn about her . He always complains about the money he is paying & tells me he want to give her up, but is not going to because he wants to bug us & is jealous of fact that my husband is called Daddy. I don't know why some guys think that everything should be left up to the women, when it comes to kids. My ex yes he comes to pick her up but it's when he feels like it. But even when he has her he throws her off on his mother so he can go out drinking with his friends " he says he doesn't have time for her". I hate what he's doing to her, ever weekend I have to hear "mommy I am not going over there am I, no."

Why can All Fathers take responsiblilty & stop hurting our kids, it's not the childs fault, they didn't ask to be in this world!!!!!!!!!

From a kid's point of view

I am "the kid". I went through this divorce with my parents. I know better than any of you how it is being a daughter of a deadbeat dad.

I also know the damage caused by people thinking they know what is best. Too many of you are so closed minded it would be best to stay out of discussion until you can recognize the bias you bring to the 'table'.

It is difficult to remain silent when I read so many nasty comments. 'Just for the money' or 'you should have known better' or those who quote law when in fact they have no idea what they are talking about.

I KNOW the laws; in part, they were affected by intrigues of my parents divorce. Custodal rights, crossing state lines, non reported earnings, division of property, and parental kidnapping.

My parents were respectable, financially secure, and goal oriented. Until my mother could no longer take the physical and mental abuse. She was also concerned for me. I too endured the abuse.

Only close family members knew of our family life, and saddly they did nothing for fear of my father.

My father was a talented pilot, belonged to the CPA and later an advisor for local EAA. He built four planes (EAA) and restored two antique planes. All successfully fly. He even holds a patent.

One of the few good memories I have are the weekends we went flying.

During these times, we would arrive at various airports usually for a "Fly-in". Dad enjoyed being with other flyers and it was one of the very few times he was in good humor.

These trips and time spent working on his planes hold the good memories and is the reason I enjoy flying today. But it would be a long time before I could have that enjoyment.

When I learned my mother had filed, I was relieved because I believed we could have a normal life if he could no longer keep us afraid or bring so much pain. Just what was normal?

The day after my father received the notice of divorce proceedings,we were forced, by my father's declaration to harm my mother and me, to flee our home.

While we stayed with a relative, "just a few days", my father made his plans to "get even".

Within a week, my father had packed and shipped all our belongings: clothing, furniture, household items etc., to his family home out of state.

Before he left the house, he pulled up the carpet, damaged the plumbing, disconnected electricity, and more.

That same day, (before we learned what he did), he asked to take my brother and sister (I wasn't there) for ice cream. He took them two states away to his hometown.

That same night, my father had a friend steal my mother's car. He assumed without transportation she could not work.

It would be almost a year before the supreme court of his state would hear the appeal to return my brother and sister. The appeal was based on the original or “first” court ordered custody hearing, from our home state.

Never was one cent of child support paid.

I went to work at 14 (they thought I was 16), and willingly took as much responsibility for my siblings as my mother allowed because she worked two and three jobs.

Do I need to express how angry we were when we watched our mother struggle to meet ends? The hours mother had to spend away from us can never be restored.

I can say, without hesitation or guilt, my father's financial neglect and parental neglect hindered our development and cheated us from so many things. My college plans were replaced with full-time work to help my family.

Why didn't my father pay any child support? 1.) He cleaned out bank accounts, transferred property ownership, including rental real estate, to various family members; left his job and the state to avoid responsibility. Neither we, or the authorities could find him.

2.) He no longer reported his earnings – working cash only jobs, and self-employed most of the time.

But the main reason - He was convinced if he made things difficult for my mother, she would return. As he said, “I was going to show her”.

What we saw, and what he later claimed, will never restore affection for him. As my sister says, “I don't have a father, he died when I was two.”

There are no excuses to explain or to resolve a parent's neglect for their child. Do not misunderstand the law establishing child support. It has nothing to do with visitation, or money hungry ex's. It has to do with providing for the needs of the child(ren).

Having sex, intercourse, or making love can result, no matter the % of a birth control device, in the creation of a child. I have a saying, "If you can't afford it, keep it zipped."

The responsibility for a child does not begin at birth, or when they start school, it starts at the time of conception.

To this day my, almost 80 years old, father does not think he did anything wrong when he deserated us. According to him, "None of this would have happened if she...". No dad, you have to accept the responsiblity for your actions.

My father is dying. He has multiple types of cancer and will not be here much longer. A while back I found him and I have made my reconcilation with him; but, do not be mistaken, I have not given him absolution for his neglect and abuse. Only God.

My younger siblings want nothing to do with him. We are all a witness to his decisions.

A deadbeat parent is a deadbeat parent.

Parents have Rights

Connie,
I forgot to address your comments about things you feel I should busy myself with Add ro my cause referring to unfairness of the government like brainwashing a child into joining the service and the sexual content on tv that encourages girls to have babies. The government does not force or trick or hide the fact that they will give you an exchange of education which is a money value in exchange for service which is a service to defend this Country. If you are that stupid that you are not aware of the fact when you sign on the line to give service to the military in exchange for education (a money value) that this is a contract of blood. If you do not understand this I hope they forgive you of your duty for we really do not want people that stupid defending our Country. I as a mother of a young marine who was against my son joining this fraction of government made sure he knew that this contact was one of blood , and no education was worth his life . I also impressed to him my contempt for this war for I believed it to be a lie to the American people.

He is an American and he has that right to make these decisions himself if he so chooses .He is there right now as we speak and I am not happy about it one bit. But it was young men before him that gave their life in order for these personal freedoms we have in this Country. Rights like the right to turn off the tv if Jerry Springer is on for I disagree that TV promotes bad behavior .

Parents who fail to teach their children by example and failure to instill a strong tie to God is what causes immorality not TV. Once again don't feel you have to defend yourself to my comments they are just my feelings on the matter. You seem to think I am anti government I am not I am anti lies and anti unfairness and equality no matter where it comes from. These things you mentioned are personal choices and I have nothing against having free will to make these choices.

The little bit I know

I have spent much time with "Reed" and he has some great storys. If you listen carefully you can't actually hear him contradicting himself. He claims to have been born very poor, and then the next day he was born very wealthy. He always has some kind of skeme going to make money, most of which are so big they could never work. Last heard he and Jan are living together, they moved fromi corbett last year and moved into the Portland area. His shop The Barber Ship does accept checks made out to Reed Powers. He always has cash in his home. I did some landscape work for him 4 years ago and upon giving him the bill he went in the house and came back with cash. Upon getting his Divorce with Lorraine he supposedly got a LOT of money. Lorraine supposedly has a good paying job for an assisted living center in Gresham. He also supposedly has a cabin on a lake back east. I wish I could remember where. Jan has kids that live in the Corbett area and I didn't see her leaving them, so she may be the bes way to try to track down his current where abouts.

"Reed" likes to try to be mister extravagent. He likes doing lots of "charity" work. Probably to help eas the burden on his consience.

"Reed" was always trying to get my to join in his next money sheme. I am so glad I didn't. I learned of his issues from a news report. I am so sorry for the problems he has caused you and your daughter. If i can help at all please let me know, I will check this site regulalry

The truth

I have read what everyone had to say..and respect the opinions of them all. What really matters here, is that the child and many more like her are here. They never asked to be here, and never asked to be put in the middle of this mess!

I have been on both sides..my first son..now 12 was a product of love for me, but his father found out I was pregnant and asked for a divorce. I tried to work it out with him to no avail.

This man wanted to have a child with me until he found out the child was becoming a reality! From that point on I didnt see or speak to him. I also never asked for support, until I needed to seek medical expenses from him when our child had medical bills in the 10,ooo dollar range..and were growing.

At that point he quit his job and avoided any job that could track him. Is it my fault that I couldnt afford these bills alone? I love my child enough to try, but lets be reasonable, How can I afford to provide for my son and pay these Bills. I then decided that I would seek help from him..because My child shouldnt have to lose what very little we had!

To this day his father is running from the IRS, and has his assets in his girlfriends name. He also has 2 or more other children...one whom My son met by accident at the park. Now I am married to a wonderful man..whom with I have another wonderful son. This man is divorced, has a daughter he loves and supports..and took on the father role for both of our sons! He gets angry at the fact that my first sons father is so selfish . Not because of what he has, but that he doesnt care if his children are ok. How can he sleep at night not knowing or caring? No matter how many times I wished he would have been a part of my sons life, he just made a choice. This choice is good for him..but can anyone dispute how unfair it is to not only my son, but to his other children? I think not.

I am blessed to have what I have now..and I hope that we all realize that things can be no fault of one person or another. Blame is not the answer, but I feel that sometimes things happen for a reason.

This man and other men and women who dont do what is right for the best interest of the children should be ashamed of themselves. No matter what the case may be, if you made your bed, lie in it...and stop judging people when you havent walked the same path. I just think that the answer lies in moving on, and loving the kids you have. I have given up trying to get help with the bills..but someday I know that My sons father will get what he has given ..and it isnt much!

Deadbeat or not????

Response to Cori:

I admit that I am a financial deadbeat and there was no excuse for it. Where there is a will there is a way!! I should not have let my illnesses get in the way of my childrens financial needs. But the other part of the subject you questioned, seeing or doing things with them is a whole other ball of wax. After I had moved from Pennsylvania to Florida, due to lack of work, I paid child support for 2 1/2 yrs prior to my injuries and disability. This of which I am still fighting with the V.A. to get upgraded beyong 205 dollars a month. The onset of increased knee deterioration has only been within the last 5 yrs. This is the time of severely reduced income and child support wained. At that time my ex was living with her parents in the extra room that I had built off the side of their mobile home for them. As the child support became more of a issue, the ex mother in law became more of a wedge in the relationship. The children where small and where not allowed to answer the phone. I would call and the ex mother in law would say they wherent home and to call back next week. I could hear the kids laughing and playing in the background and I was never told to them that I had called to talk to them. I had sent Christmas presents and I was told to not send them again, and that they would be destroyed and sent back. What I did send, I found out later was relabled and given from somebody else. Then my ex moved and never gave me a address or phone number. Child support enforcement in PA. would not tell me either. I had to file for a court hearing to get this information and child visitation rights. This was never addressed at the railroad divorce. All toll about $2500.00 in costs to do this. More than I had and would have at one time. It has only been the past year that my kids have wanted to talk to me now that they are old enough to have a say so. It is not that I didnt want to be in their lives, it is because others butted in and made it impossible to do so. I have to make up for lost time and find a way to explain myself without discrediting their mother or grandmother in the process. They will make their own decisions about all that.At least , if I can pay what I owe, help them with education, and give them some good memories to restart on things might be better than before, as well as be able to finish off the child support for the rest of the required time. so, as you can see sometimes deadbeat isn't always the fathers fault. The ex's family and the ex herself can be just as at fault as the labled dad. Only true information and time for the children to make their own judgments will then my predicament be understood. In all actuality, the first child really isnt mine, but she calls me daddy and that all that counts. She will never be told any different by me!!!! Question answered???????

I see two totaly separate issues here

The only issue that matters here is that a parent ordered to pay support for their child isn't paying it and they should, there is no excuse for it, I am a custodial father that receives none of the court ordered support that my children deserve, if there is anything I can do I would be glad to help.

Now the other issue I see here is that even if you were receiving support it sems you would be every bit as spitefull toward your Ex and his spouse. You need to get over it and move on (spiritualy).

Your own words are contradictory and serve to highlight the fact that you want more that money and I feel that you are need to admit (to yourself) that you are harming yourself and your child in holding all this hate inside.

You should do everything you can to collect this money for you and your daughter, but the childs relationship with her father is out of your hands so just stay out of it, thats what I do with my Ex, I have an attitude that she will all ways be their mother so I don't get involved in pushing her away from them or giving gilt trips when she doesn't visit them.

RESPONSE TO JEFF....

Yes, Jeff....your question was answered. Thank you for your response. I appreciate your explanation regarding your situation & wish you well with your children. I hope one day they are able to understand your circumstances.

Unfortunately, my 2 daughters both had deadbeat fathers that just simply chose not to be in their lives. I still have yet to figure out why! They are wonderful girls that just wanted their dads to be a part of their existence. It wasn't really even about the money. It appeared to be more about not wanting the responsibility of fatherhood

In one of my earlier rebuttals, (single mom who doesn't get child support), I posted a poem that my eldest daughter, who is now 30, wrote to her father before his death a year & a half ago. I had hoped that even if one "deadbeat dad" read it, they might understand the pain that their children will endure by not being a part of their lives. Unfortunately, it was too late for my daughter who never really got to know her father.
Very poor choice on his part! My best to you & your children.

tell his old classmates what he's been up all these years

Mabe the pressure of humilation when he is scrutinized by his classmates at his next reunion, might make him rethink his obligation. You can go post on his old high school forums at "Classmates".

some local newspaper outlets have public forums. Mabe you could post this issue so local people become aware of his behavior and not cater to his illegal activity.

This is such a bad case, youd think it would qualify for federal prosecution.

to Monika

SHUT UP YOU STUPID BITCH!!!!
You may be eating your words one day that is if
your women enough to have a baby.

UP YOURS,




Sincerly

A marriage is broken by an adult for reasons.

Did anyone consider, Its easy to make accusations. Frankly I have run into more dishonest people then honest its all in the justification. People will do things for money and love they may not otherwise do. Has anyone considered this? A marriage is broken by an adult for reasons. If the marriage is broken for good reason what are the reasons. I think adultry, drugs, abuse are good reasons. What about the other reasons like I dont love him anymore, I am not enjoying my life with him. I want a relationship with someone else. there are more not as good reasons but still enough to seek a divorce. Should a man be called a deadbeat if the woman has destroyed his family for a not so good reason. Should he get custody since after all he was the one sticking in there and willing to work on things. I think he should be given custody and by all means not punished more. Some courts are quick to accuse fathers of abbandoning their children and being deadbeats without considering what the mother has done to the father and what his options are. I say walk softly america we are teaching our daughters to be man haters. I have children and step children. I dont like my ex but I know my children do no matter how much money he gives me. I have custody of my children because cours are unfair. Did I have to lie, no. They just give me whatever I ask for. My children didnt ask him to leave and its not my right to change their relationship with him. I see my ex use her children to get money, to get favors and help. I understand its hard but its hard for everyone and there is no justification to change the relationship between a child and its parent if the child is safe. Lets be honest and keep the children well adjusted. Welfare needs to find another way out of debt. Children need everyone they can get. The woman are robbing fathers. They are robbing children. They justify it by telling themselves they are the nuturing ones. He cant handle it. I think they are wrong. Kids can deal with a lot including not so great house and no horse back ridding but they cant deal with someone who hates or pushes away the person they love. When they grow up they will either be badly adjusted or will resent the parent who hust them.

It makes me sad that every one is so angry

To every one on this site I sat here reading this and found everytime monica spoke I was getting angry and keep going, hearing the reports and peoples feeling.If people could take ther anger and turn it into something positive. WE would all be way ahead of the game. I have been on all sides of thissituation, personally I have been a child of a deadbeat mom, I also am a single working mom with 3 children And recieve child support and at one point and time dad didnt always pay. But we worked through it and sometime I let things go just to keep the peace!! Bottom line is Love doesnt pay the bills but it certainly makes life easier!! Its hard to be a child with a parent that choose's not to be there! Its hard to be a child with a single parent who has to work 2 jobs or more to feed people. Its also hard to be a two parent family, money will never be enough.



Monika I hope you are able to take your anger and turn it to something positive.



And the orignal mother and child from this article Take my advice and just be glad he's not there and I have faith that you will make it with or without his money!! I did, my children Did! We are all happy, and we cant always afford everything we want! But everyday I have something very precious I have their love and you have your daughter & her love!!! Good luck to all that visit this site!!! It sounds LIke alot of us need it!!! Remember when you give love and forgivness it well come back to you in return.

OK, Back To The Point Of This

First off let me say that I know that each of us has a sad story to tell. But we need to get back to the story at hand.

The mother of this child has every right to go after her money. I don't care if it is 10 dollars or 100,000 dollars.... it is hers and she deserves it to raise the little girl, not to mention, she still has quite a few years to go before the little girl reaches the age of 18.

Does he not owe back child support once this little girl reaches the age of 18?

YES, he still owes it.... no matter what age the child becomes. He needs to stand up and be a real man.

DONALD, QUIT RUNNING AND TAKE RESPONSIBILTY FOR YOUR ACTIONS.

An Interesting Proposition

I'm not going to weigh in on the emotional finger pointing... he's to blame for not paying, she's a gold digger type argument that seems to be going on here...instead, I think it might be good for everyone involved to really think about what 'child support' is really all about and how the system can stop being gamed (by both parties).

Child support really came about as a result of the demise of alimony. In the past (i.e. 50's & 60's as well as part of the 70's) alimony was predominately given to women by courts because they had not worked during the marriage outside of the home. This alimony was generally given so that the woman could maintain 'the lifestyle to which she had become accustomed to.' Fast forward to the 80's & beyond and you started to see alimony payments go down significantly when men's lawyers (rightly or wrongly) started pointing out to the courts that women were working out of the home and therefore shouldn't be entitled to as much alimony because the gap was much smaller. Child support was brought in as the answer to keep the average monthly payments level. However, just like paying taxes, alimony and now child support go into the custodial parent's "general fund." As previously mentioned, child support payments are not based on what is really needed to support a child, but rather on the non-custodial parent's income -- the higher there income, the higher the child support payments, without regard to the custodial parent's income level or expected contribution.

So, here's an interesting idea. The angst we see in much of the postings here and everywhere else would indicate a couple of things to me. In many situations "Deadbeat Dad's" or "Deadbeat Mom's" (I'd love to see an actual case of a Mom forced to pay child support, but I will keep a neutral stance here)are forced to pay money in child support that in fact is going into a general household fund. I have a nifty idea. Instead of the court ordering the non-custodial parent to pay $1000 per month in cash to the custodial parent, instead the judgement should be something like the non-custodial parent is required to REIMBURSE the custodial parent for all expenses relating DIRECTLY to the child's welfare up to $1,000 monthly, split evenly between the two parties. Just like I file my expense report at work (reviewed by my company's accountant) the custodial parent would file an expense report with the proper jurisdiction which would verify, then have the non-custodial parent pay up to their monthly limit. This would have the effect of preventing 'gold digging' or transferring what should rightly be considered as alimony into child support payments. Also, it would eliminate the argument of the non-custodial parent that the money isn't being used for the child(ren).

Here's an example: Bobby and Suzy are divorced with a five year old child Johnny, Suzy has custody. Court orders Bobby to pay up to $500 in child support. Johnny's child care bill for the month is $500 and he visits the doctor twice with $50 in co-pays and prespcriptions. Johnny also has a birthday party thrown by Suzy at McDonald's with a cost of $50. This means total direct expenses for Johnny for the month is $600. This is divided by two and Bobby is required to reimburse Suzy $300.00 for this month. Suzy's living quarters, car, etc. are not counted towards Johnny's child support because she would need these essentials regardless of whether or not she has Johnny living with her.

I feel this arrangement is fair: both parents are on the hook 50/50 for caring for the direct expenses of their kid. No squabbling, no gold digging, no deadbeats!

Comments?

Barbershop open again

Although his barber's license is still revoked, his barber shop is still open. I saw his ex-girlfriend Jan just outside a few days ago. But I don't know if she's working there. But during the day, the door is open an the OPEN sign is in the window.

His red Dodge Ram pickup is still parked, as always, in front of the barber shop. The expensive sculpture is also still inside the barber shop. At night, when the shop is closed, shades are drawn and it's dark inside. I can't tell if he's living in there or not.

GREAT IDEA

Taz,

This is the best idea that you have - the same way as children-actors had to be protected by laws, so the parents do not piss away every dollar that kid makes. It is fare and at the same time it will have to be documented why the child needs $100 shoes, not $20 shoes and why he needs those shoes bought every 2 months.

For all other people that were yelling at me and accusing me of being a gold-digger - little information. I MAKE MORE MONEY THAN MY HUSBAND and I do not need a man to buy the things that I want. I will work hard enough to get them myself!!!!!! For last few months we had to survive on my income and unemployment and we did it just fine. The only reason it is good to have a man in my life is to have fun, laughter, have "marital" fun, have kids and plan the life together.

I am not lying and prizing myself by admitting that I was the one paying my hubby's attorney's bill, so he can defend himself in court and maybe someday get to see his kids again.

If the man is put in jail for not paying child support - the same law should be in place for mothers - SENT TO JAIL FOR VISITATION VIOLATION for the same amount of hours as the visit that she denied. In some courts judges already do that and suddenly the mothers are "ANGELS" and there is no problem with visitations.

If this society is saying so loud that men and women are EQUAL, then the SAME laws should apply to both. If the court is faced with the situation that mother was not working during marriage and father was the one feeding everyone - why not let HIM keep the children. He will not need a child support to feed the children, new family will be old minus one.

The only question I have - how can a widow mother support her children without much trouble? Does that mean that all men should just kill themselves during divorce and be well spoken of instead?

Opinions & Experiences, Everyone has one.

This is an extremely controversial subject that always tends to boil over. There are opinions from ....

1-The Dads & Moms who have 'been had' by the witchy ex- who took him to the cleaners and was never given the opportunity to see his children and forks out a crazy percentage of $$ out of each check and never get out of marital debt.

2-The Dads & Moms who 'DO' have the $$ and live lavishly, but evade the law and responsibilities of child support and only have tele-conversations with their own flesh and blood and leave them crying for their attention and pleading for a visit. Empty promises and broken little hearts.
3-The Dads & Moms that have struggled as single parents to provide these children with higher education and fun things in life that we LOVE to see our children enjoy. We love to see them happy.
4-The Dads & Moms that actually work together as divorced parents to imply that the separation of parents CAN actually work and not be hostile.

There are 100 different scenarios, 100 different experiences, 100 different opinions. Each OPINION is based on that family's experience. One 'experience' that YOU have not been in. So, go ahead and tell your story, but then soften your hostility because you most likely have not walked in the shoes of the person's whom opinion you oppose.

My story: My son is now 8 and his father has never sent child support and never accepted the offer of visitation. I just figured that the hassle of fighting for child support and deciding the back and forth visitation issues in court was just not worth what it could have done to my son emotionally. (especially if his father did not want to see him in the first place)....Anyway, I have since married a wonderful Christian Man and Daddy, moved out of state, had another baby, and live comfortably.

Recently, I was informed that the Dead Beat Father is now in jail for Aggravated Child Molestation and may face the death penalty New Iberia Parish Correctional Center>. All I can say, is that I am SO THANKFUL that I did not pursue that child support. No amount of $$ would have been worth what that sicko 'might' have done to my precious child. I made it on my own until I found a spouse and the happy comfort zone I now nest in.

Like I said before, EVERYONE has their own experience and opinion. Although, the bottem line in THIS REPORT is that the DEAD BEAT FATHER owes $50K and he DOES need to buck up and shell out some $$$ and the mother has paid her dues and put her daughter's education first and done it SOLO. So, press on Mom. I hope you find the comfort you need. But, be ready for the consequences that it 'could bring' and make sure that the amount of $$ is worth the effort and hardship.

Oh and Monika - you have no kids - make judgements against the Parents (which you are not) whom have been through divorces? - I guess that takes the 'divorcee' title off you? Pot calling the Kettle black, huh?... And people like 'Connie' ...(who has been through 5 freegin divorces!) support your lengthly self-righteous opinions. - I laugh at you both.

I hate to quote Hillary Clinton, but it does take a village sometimes.

I'm a dad who pays child support, health insurance etc.

I used to earn a good deal of money, as like Monika I lived in Massachusetts and made a good living.

I met my ex, we had a good time, and I can attest that condoms are not 100% effective even when used properly.

However, I was an adult... I knew the consequences.

I now live in Idaho, and make significantly less (60K per year down to 16K). My child support is based on my previous income. Between health insurance and child support its about $600 per month. If you do the math that leaves me with $8800 a year to live on. I can tell you it is not comforatble and I do not suggest it, but if my ex and I were together, we would find a way just as I will now.

I have a realistic attitude.. she is not blowing this money all over town; she pays the bills, mortgage, co pays on the health insurance, buys food, clothes (and yes we are both are going to thrift stores now), but even though we argue, both of us are focused on one thing... our daughter (what is more important?) will not want or need if we can avoid it... she is the focus of all this, not me, nor my ex.

Comments about how it is so unfair that men pay child support are unbased. Who has the kids gets it. Visitation is also unrelated to child support. You do not pay it, you still get to see your kids... they are seperate issues. If your ex denies visitation because of past due child support take them to court; I suspect you will even get your lawyers fees paid.

My last suggestion is that when the child reaches the age of majority, she files a suit on her own. She will likely get a judgement for the past due amount, and it may pay for college. If I remember my MA law, kids get that.


Monika, if you have achile who is under 15, send me sizes.....Y'll send what clothes I can that will fit.

thanks for this report...

I just wanted to say thanks for this report...it has really helped me to understand things alittle clearer...u see my pops walked out on me my brother and my mom when I was 4 yrs old and never helped us in any way instead he remarried and had more children and provided for them...but never acknowledged us...at first my mother financially could not raise us....so unforgentally one day we drove to where my dad was living and all I remember is my dads new wife and my mom fighting and then we left my brother there...well a week passes and my granny and I go to see my brother and he has bandages covering cigarette burns on his hands and feet...so my granny took my brother with her and I and we left....after that the lady who was married to my dad was sent to jail for burning my brother with cigarettes and was realesed on probation...after that my brother had so much hatered towards my dad..he never wanted to see him..(not like he tried to visit anyway)but here I come along getting older that by the age of 13yrs I wanted a chance to get to know him...so of course I tried by calling and I will never till the day I die forget What he told me..."I don't have time and I never will"and hung up...so I went on with my life with my mom and brother...I must admit It was really hard back in the days I can sit here all day and tell you how bad things got in my life but that would only bring up bad memories...now I'm 23yrs old and have a husband who thank GOD is a good man who supports me and my daughter...the main thing I really want to say is for us it was really hard..that yes women can do it by themselves BUT as parents we want to be able to give the most out of life to our child and thats where the extra finances have to take place such as collecting child support...and this comment is to MONICA... quit being so bitter,selfish and greedy your just mad because the ex-wife got more then you out of him...besides since your that upset about her geting what belongs to her...then go find another man (who has money )to support your golddigging stupid ass!!!! thanks to everyone ...xoxoxoxo

Click here to read other Rip Off Reports on Dead Beat Dads and Moms

Think before you speak.

Give me a break. Some people just do not have any idea what they are talking about.
Let's start with Monika, please she is married to a man who has to pay child support, need I say more. Ok so in his case he's being taken, but not every ex-wife is a bitch.

Lets start with one who is in your situation. A friend of mine is married to a man who has two children by his ex-wife, he has always paid child support even when he was out of work for a few months, he paid the back child support by having more held out of his check after he got back to work. This is a man who is remarried and they now have a 2 year old daughter of their own to support. Yes, he had those two first but he has always supported them, he pays $800.00 dollars a month in child support, buys school clothes, and spends over $200.00 on each child for birthdays and even more for christmas. His ex-wife just keeps sticking it to him, she is remarried and lives in a very nice house with an inground pool and two new cars. And guess where she works, Child Advocate.

Well he is now making a little more money because he has been working double shifts because he and his new family are living in a tiny trailer and they are trying to build a new house. His parents also give his ex money and buy the two boys winter coats school clothes, and do no such thing for their new grandaughter. Well his own mother told his ex he was making more money, so guess what she is taking him back to court.

Now lets look at a totally different situation, I was married at 17 (stupid yes) my husband worked some (when he felt like it) and we had two children. I love my children and never regret having them, but there is no way in hell that staying married to that man could have been better for them. I supported them (and him) for 90% of the marriage, and he beat me, and emotionaly abused me for the entire time we were together, in front of the children. Well I finally left him and took my children with me. And this is what he told me , If I can't have you I don't want them. Nice guy huh.

Well he continued to stalk me, wasn't the least bit worried about seeing them. I tried to get a divorce but he would'nt sign the papers. And I didn't have the money to get a lawyer so I waited. Well he moved out of state, and didn't call write or anything for 2.5 years. And then I filed for divorce on the grounds that I didn't know where he had went. I didn't get a dime, and didn't want it. They said that since they didn't know where he was he would only be ordered to pay $50.00 a month. But since they didnt' know where he was do you think he paid it.

Well then I met my current husband and we moved in together, and suprise suprise, my ex moved back and suddenly wants to be a dad.

And you know what, I let him have visitation even though I hadnt seen a dime. (Well what do you know about that!)

Well he finally got a job and started paying child support (it is garnished) he buys no christmas or birthday presents, no school clothes. And let me tell you this raising a child is very expensive, besides the bare esentials, my daughter is a cheerleader, in karate, and whatever else I can afford and she and my son are very happy children, no thanks to my ex. He knows nothing about parental responsibilties, he does whatever he wants, whenever he wants and, get this, he lives with his parents, has no bills and spends 90% of what he makes on whatever he wants.

So again, Monkia, think about what your saying before you say it, and definatley when you have no idea what your talking about.
And in you situation, just remember this, There are two sides to every story..

RE: Jeff....Opening your eyes

Jeff...

I was just curious as to whether or not you were a deadbeat dad just financially...or did you not see your children as well? It sounds in your post as though you had nothing to do with them financially or emotionally. If so, I wondered why you weren't a part of their lives til now...aside from the money not being available?

The reason I ask is simply because my ex always used the excuse that he never had any money as to why he did not see or spend time with our daughter. Then when the money WAS there, he still did not spend the time with her. He never thought about how his absence might someday have a huge affect on her life, which now, at 15 years old, it HAS had a great affect on her life. He has just quietly disappeared somewhere & has chosen not to be in her life. Very sad.

Anyway, although you appear to have good intentions by treating everyone to a trip to Disney World etc., the TIME you have lost with your children can never be replaced. No amount of money or trips, or material things can ever make up for that.

If you didn't get my point - I am AGAINST a divorce in the first place - if people can't commit to raising kids together, they shouldn't have them at all.

They filed the following rebuttal to the above Rip-Off Report:

Their email: user9856@hotmail.com
Their name: Monika

Their relationship to the company: Consumer Suggestion

Rebuttal:
Dear MJ,

If you didn't get my point - I am AGAINST a divorce in the first place - if people can't commit to raising kids together, they shouldn't have them at all. Sometimes I think that kids of divorce would be better off living with the foster families than watch their own parents get in each other's throats every time they see each other.

The idea of CHILD SUPPORT was based on the fact that women were not working (50s, 60s, 70s) or they were paid less than the men. Nowadays, there are ton of jobs that allow women to make same or even more money than men. Child support should be paid - I don't disagree. I think it should be based on real needs of a child and then divided in half, so both parents have THE SAME FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY. Both mother and father should commit the SAME amount of money to raising the kid. Do you know
anyone that does that??

If the divorce wasn't that easy to get and people were required to go through marriage counseling before stepping a foot in a courtroom, everything was divided 50/50 (except pre-marital assets or prenuptial agreements), alimony was eliminated and the person that petitions for the divorce was immediately disqualified as a custodial parent - I can guarantee you that the divorce rate would drop and people would start thinking about the kids instead of their own pockets. This of course
doesn't include the cases where there is a HARD evidence of physical abuse, alcohol abuse - I mean HARD evidence - like police reports, pictures, medical reports - NOT just testimony of a spouse.

There are thousands of men out there that would like the custody of their kids and they DO NOT CARE about child support money from their ex-wives. Why?? Because those men care about the kids more than anything in the world. Those men know what true parental love is all about - has nothing to do with money. Those men were usually forced out of the marriage, then
kept away from their kids by orders of protection that women obtained based on lies.

On the other hand there are thousands of women that tell their kids that fathers used to abuse them, were mean to them, make up lies about them, state that fathers do not pay child support (even if those fathers never missed one payment). Doing so they do not even realize what kind of mental abuse they are putting those kids through until it's too late. Those kids have authority problems, anxiety problems, become violent and
most of all they are robbed of their childhood.

Here are some interesting facts in Illinois - about 90% of custody disputes end with a woman getting the kids - not because she is the best parent, but because she uses the system to alienate the father, keep him away from the kids using order of protection, moving from a state that gives woman less chance of obtaining a custody of the kids. And most of all she WANTS the money that she used to have during the marriage. Why is
it possible for a man to support the kids without ex-wife's money, but a woman can't do it?


Here are few links for all those people who do not see how horrible the
divorce can be for the kids:

http://www.legalkids.com/
http://www.acfc.org
http://www.ancpr.org
http://www.rgardner.com/refs
http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/gard01a.htm

Last, there are thousands of divorced parents that raise the kids without
child support and live happily.

Monika

Why should the children suffer?

They filed the following rebuttal to the above Rip-Off Report:

Their email: bt311@aol.com
Their name: Been There

Their relationship to the company: Consumer Suggestion

Rebuttal:
Dear MJ,

First off, it is not always in a person's control how their marriage turns out. I too believe that two people have to make a commitment to stay married and raise their children together. But Life doesn't always turn out as it should.

The bottom line is, it is ashame that there has to be laws in place to make parents support and care for their children. But, if a court mandates that a parent should pay child support & granted visitation (or not), they should do it! If they cannot they need to follow the proper channels to correct any problems.

Why should the children suffer?

2 Sides To The Story

Against divorce? How about a father that beat the mother and one child that was only 2 1/2 yrs old at the time. Damn straight I got divorced the very first time it happened! What gets me is yes, this is about money. $52,000 in back support??? My question is, why did you try and take everything the man had? That would answer one reason why the man is hiding out. I am a single parent, my child support is $40.38 per week (approx $2,150 per year). At 12 years of age, that would be approx. $25,000. When money was becoming short, I went out and got a better job. When money became short again as the children grew, I went out and got an even better job. When the kids wanted to play in sports, in the band, and other activities, I worked overtime. My ex lives 10 minutes away and hasn't seen his son BY HIS CHOICE in 16 years.

THE OTHER SIDE

I live with my boyfriend now, who also has a son and an exwife. She took him for everything he has. His child support is almost 3x's as much as the amount I receive. She is all about money, she doesn't work. Funny thing is, since she opts to have her son on a medical card from the state (welfare), she doesn't even see 75% of this money, as it goes to the state to pay for this stupid medical card. If my bf adds him to his insurance and PAYS to have him added, he will also be responsible for that same amount of support AND be responsible for paying the deductible. Therefore, that increases his amount that he has to pay even more!!! Where is the justice in this? He works his ass off 6 days a week, and sometimes is lucky to bring home $200 every other week, as his exwife gets everything else.

Yes, this is all about money. As you say, it takes TWO to make this child, but nothing was said about it takes TWO to support this child. I do not understand how some women make the rest of us look bad by not getting off their lazy butts and get a decent job. If you are on welfare and collecting support ... you should be going to school, getting a degree, to better yourself and your children. The state pays 100% for your schooling, 100% for your child care while you are in school, and 100% while you are out hunting that "perfect" job that will raise that child in a comfortable life. I went from making $7,000 a year working at a college in admissions to making $42,000 working my butt off delivering mail for the post office 6 days/week, sometimes 10-12 hrs a day. All because I want a better life for my children, a home for them to live, and giving them that special toy or game that they want from Santa. Do I get "praised" for being the way I am ... I doubt it, and I don't expect it. But I damn well wish that other women would have the same respect for themselves as I have for me.

By the way ... my best friend is owed approx. $80,000 in back support for 18 years worth. I told her exactly the same thing that I have posted here. And yes, she is still my friend, as she values my friendship and respects my opinions ... just doesn't follow in my footsteps.

I am so happy that my family isn't like these

I read these letters with a lot of sadness for all of the people involved. My parents divorced when I was 20 and my youngest brother was 8. While they were together, they fought (verbally),constantly. But when they decided to divorce, a miracle happened! They quit fighting. Since then it has been obvious to everyone that their concern has been for their children. It's now been 28 years since their divorce. I just spoke to my Dad earlier tonight; we were making plans for our family Christmas celebration. He had just spoken to my Mother about who was cooking the turkey for Christmas....Yes, we ALL eat together on holidays! When my maternal grandmother died 5 years ago, my Dad took over making sure there was food and sleeping arrangements and Easter baskets for the kids (it was Easter weekend). Remember, this was his ex-mother-in-law. And yes, my mother has remarried and he attends our celbrations also. My father's long-time companion also attended until her recent death.

I write this to say that IT CAN BE DONE. It just takes two adults (note I said two) WHO LOVE THEIR CHILDREN MORE THAN THEY DISLIKE EACH OTHER. And yes, my father never missed a child support payment. In fact, my mother said he never decreased the amount as the number of minor children decreased. He told her that was to make up for the increase in the cost of living.

Keep Going, Connie.

Keep going, Connie. You have the courts on your side. I can give you more information regarding Reed Powers, but the hotmail e-mail you listed at the beginning of this ripoff report doesn't seem to work. e-mail me at (((ROR REDACTED))) with contact information. I can provide you with information you can use in court.


CLICK here to see why Rip-off Report, as a matter of policy, deleted either a phone number, link or e-mail address from this Report.

Restraining order?

From the very first post in this thread by the OP, it is obvious that the mother in this case is strictly on a punitive mission to hurt the father in any way possible. To have a huge child support order AND a restraining order against the dad is unconscionable.

It is not good to use children as a weapon. I was a child who got used that way, and the results were not pretty. It took until I was about 45 years old to get over all of it and get on with my life.

I really feel for this daughter. It really does hurt when BOTH of your parents are willing to put their own interests above yours.

You say that people shouldn't get divorces??

They filed the following rebuttal to the above Rip-Off Report:

Their email: HeatherMarie1280@aol.com
Their name: Heather

Their relationship to the company: Supporter

Rebuttal:
Dear Monika,

You say that people shouldn't get divorces?? I wish it were that simple, but we don't live in a perfect world. After all, your own husband is divorced from his first wife. That doesn't make him a bad person does it? Anyhow, regarding the topic at hand, no one can tell the future, things happen, people don't get along, and people split up. Just because the man/woman is divorced from his wife does not mean he/she does not have a
responsibility to his/her child. I'm not saying that some women don't go overboard and aren't just looking for a hand out, but alot of women work hard to take care of their children single handed and would just appreciate a box of diapers in the mail every now and then. I think the woman in this post is more concerned about her daughters emotional part of her daughter not being wanted by him and how she's going to educate her daughter after high school.

Children need to be taken care of

I am a step mom , my husband was injured and unable to pay support for a bit that did not matter to the Prosecutors office in the county where we lived , at the time there was no money coming in they wanted to put him in jail. As soon as the Workmens checks were going to start we asked that child support with arrears be taken out. Which they did not do , and we thought they were then we got notice to go to court. By this time my husband was on his way back to work and having child support again taken out of his check on his own accord. Then the court decided it was ok for her to uproot the child from her father and her paternal grandparents becuase the mom lied in court sayiong she had no family in indiana. All the time we continue to make sure child support is paid so that beautiful little girl will have clothes, school supplies and the things she needs. but the one thing she needs she is lacking a relationship with her dad. He has wrote her but gets no response asks to see her is told NO and is told she is not there when he calls. The man who owes all this child support needs to pay up NOW or when she grows up they will still get the money from him if he ever does get a real job. This girl is going to hate her dad for not taking care of her at all and putting a burden on her mom. SUPPORT KIDS Now all debeat parents. Not just men but women to are responsible for bringing kids into the world and refusing to pay child support. My brother in laws exwife owed 50,000 do oyu know what she did to keep from paying , she went on a government check and the courts told him sorry you will not see a dime now, but she now wants to see him now that she doesn't have to pay it, but did not want anything to do with him before. This si not fair to kids. Stand up and pay if you cant be with them, then do what you can to help them and if you dont want to then get fixed so it will not be a problem again in the future. SUpport YOUR KIDS.

What a bunch of whiners. Bed, made, lie.

Jessica:

Getting knocked up is not a demonstration of what it means to be a real woman. Any stupid 14-year-old can have a baby. Not a big deal, people. The big deal comes after the calving. And if you can't afford them, don't have them. You have to assume, as a woman, that you may have to take care of the kid yourself at some point. That means you need to get some education and a decent job. Sorry if that is sexist, but unfortunately it is reality.

Everyone else:

As you can tell, I have NO sympathy whatsoever for most single mothers. Having a kid is a CHOICE, people, not a necessity. If most of you would have established yourselves in some career before getting knocked up you'd be fine now. Anyone with a functioning brain that is not a sheep should realize that. I'm not saying that the dads have no responsibility, not at all. What I AM saying is that you need to get off your butts and figure out how to fend for yourselves instead of mooing about your problems and the deadbeat dad. Keep pursuing him, by all means, but assume you're not going to get a cent. And get on with your life.

No longer Proud to be an American

When is everyone going to wake up here!!Our government has been bribing all the states to create State collection agencies and they have created the deadbeat dad for their own profit and reasons of inacting laws in which takes our constiutional laws from us. Don't get me wrong there are parents who do not support their children but this is only about 5% of the population. The government has no buisness giving a child to one parent and taking the child from another. If the parents do not get along it does not mean one parent must give up thir right to be in the childs life everyday like before the divorce and no one should have to pay to see a child . No one should go to jail because you cannot pay. The deadbeats the States claim are not deadbeats at all they have became injured or layed off and have been unable to pay . Does the government interfer in a married family if a party loses their job or becomes sick or injured? Do they tell them they had better go to work or go to jail. The married parent and unmarried parent have the same rights as to government interference.The government should not be representing one party for money payments but not the other for visitation. This is discrimatory and un equal law. The government has a conflic of interest and should not be involved at all for they are making a profit. They are straight out lying when they say they do not make money. The government does not involve itself if there is not a buck to be made. Do you know LA county alone passes over 200 million dollars a years through their accounts just for child support? They rip off the mother for payments all the time finally some one sued the DA of LA for 25 million was just sitting in an accout not being paid to the mothers . They do not have the best interest of children in mind when they inact laws and change codes and statutes. They do this to deny the common citizen the right of due process of law and to make it easier for them to take property from the people they claim to be representing. A parent denied access to his/her children, without justification or court process, by the other parent is not their fault. It is the fault of the government courts for interfering with fundamental rights. Studies show that custodial parents interfere with visitation 77% of the time, and after 5 years non custodial parents are usually completely cut off from their children as a result of alienation and brainwashing. The government courts refuse to enforce this part of the divorce settlement , judgment/order, thereby nullifying child support obligations as well. There is a doctrine of reciprocals. Parents have the fundamental liberty interest in the care, custody and nurture of their children, and with that comes a reciprocal duty of financial and emotional child support. However, if the fundamental right is denied or deprived for whatever reason, there is no duty. The system does not address the emotional support of the child ,only the financial. This can not be considered in the best interest of the child. The courts are not applying the law equally and fairly in regards to both parents rights, in turn this deny's the child of their fundamental right to have both parents in their lives .The best interest in not just a financial interest, the emotional well being of the child is the definition of best interest, for to be poor does not necessary mean unhappy. To reward a parent with money value when they are depriving not only the party who is giving the money it is depriving the child. The courts are not just promoting this behavior, they are actually demanding this criminal act to occur. Don't we all have the right to raise our children without government interference.

Further, the Courts have a financial conflict of interest in the awarding, collection and enforcement of child support and cannot sit in judgment therefore (see, U.S. Supreme Court cases of Tumey v. Ohio, Gibson v. Berryhill, Ward v. Monroeville). The Georgia and Tennessee appellate and supreme courts are currently addressing these unconstitutional actions by family court judges. One who has not paid child support, other than for being a "deadbeat dad" (which according to all studies occurs in only 5% of all cases), cannot be held criminally liable for owing child support. Every U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals that has addressed the issue has found that child support is a common commercial and civil debt obligation. We don't criminalize people for owing debts such as owing car loans, credit card loans, mortgages, student loans, etc. Since the federal courts are calling child support a civil debt there can be no criminality involved. Otherwise, the First, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Ninth, Tenth, Thirteenth and Fourteenth Amendments to the Constitution for the United States of America are severely implicated. Violations of these Amendments, would constitute a violation of the judicial oaths of office, thus causing judges, lawyers, and child support enforcement government bureaucrats, and other related government officials to commit official misconduct, treason and other high crimes and misdemeanors. This would lead to government abuse and oppression - in other words, it would be terrorism by government against its own people.
"The statist notion that government may supercede parental authority in order to ensure bureaucratically or judicially determined "best interests" of children has been rejected as repugnant to American traditions. Judges and state officials are ill-equipped to second guess parents and are.
Parents fundemental right to their children should not be compromised by the courts and interference should be a last resort,unless of course the parent is physicaly harmful to the child. Government should not interfer interfer with our God given right to raise and care for our children as we see fit.
This is a big scam on the american public and the american public is so stupid to go along with it. They do not even realize what is going on around them. Our government blew up the twin towers trying to save the american dollar because we have gone into dept so badly . This destruction of the towers (they inploded)and the penagon ( the whole in the building smaller then the plane) all banking laws have changed because of this . The computers at the pentagon where all destroyed in this area and there was a trillion dollar transaction that took place during this destruction , this is why the change in banking laws no longer getting a copy of your checks. Think about it people! Look what the patriot act is doing do you know senators are signing bills they are not allowed to see!!! Hello! Why in the hell are we in a war?? This child support was the start of it all the code for this act of child support is US Code 666.Look it up read it ! It is to place a one world system in place to tract us all to link ss# with Dr license # and to connect state to state and country to country all in one system. This is the truth Wake up people go to in plane site on the internet look what our government is doing . The american people had better stop and take a look around why do other countries hate us? Why is it it costs over 100,00.00 to send a child to school? Could it be because the majority of people cannot afford this and our young will volenteer for the service? Or is it to manage a slave when it has no education?
We are a country that spends the most for education but have the least to show for it. Why are we still using fossil fuel? Why is oil prices changing daily when we have plenty of oil all around the world? Why are we the only country suffering from obesity? Couls it be the drugs being put in our food products maybe? Mad cow is caused by feeding animal products to animals now who does this? Has anyone discovered a cure for any disease's is the last 10 or 15 years and doesn't anyone think this is odd? Why is the cost of drugs so high for the senoirs in this Country ? Is it just a fluke the medications the older folk are taking have become so very expensive . That is in this Country only anyway. Could it be the drug companies do not find cures for disease becuase it is not profitable? Could the price of medications for seniors have anything to do with the fact they are collecting SSI payments? Is it possible they more than likely go without their medication because of its cost? Does the government profit if people die close to the age of retirement? There are many more questions to be asked like Why all the hurricanes in Florida? Does Harp have anything to do with this ? How come we have not heard of all the missing and dead in Florida?
The child support issue was and is the beginning of a far much worse future for us all and we had better pull our heads out of the sand and take back this Country that once based its laws on Gods laws..For the answers to these questions should be a concern for each and every one of us.Signed No Longer Proud to be an American

Single mom who doesn't get child support

Ed...
You state that women should "EXPECT" at some point to take care of their kid by themselves & therefore they should get off their butts & get a decent job so they're able to afford to do so? Wow! That doesn't say too much for the men out there now, does it?

You go on to say that you don't sympathize with single mothers & that having children is a choice, not a necessity. Having children IS a choice, but not everyone's circumstances stay the same after they have a child.

I was with my ex-husband for almost 10 years. We have a daughter together. However, he chose alcohol over his family. I didn't plan to get divorced when I had my child. According to you though, I guess that first I should have made sure that I had a high paying job & started building a nest egg so that after I had my daughter, I would be prepared to take care of her on my own. Are you for real?

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Single mom who doesn't get child support

Taz...
You DO have an interesting proposition regarding child support, however I have to disagree with you about the part where you say that housing,I car, etc. should not be included in the amount of child support owed because these are necessities that the woman would have to have anyway even without the child.

As a single mom raising a 13 year old daughter, it is my responsibility to see that she has a decent roof over her head, grows up in a decent environment & gets a good education at a decent school. The car I drive takes her to school everyday. The utilities I pay, are as much for her benefit as my own. And there's so much more.

My ex quit his job of 18 years, 3 years ago. He is now living on welfare/food stamps. I can't collect any child support from him although he works for a friend too & gets paid under the table, because our government is supporting him. So, the money issue here doesn't matter in my case anyway because I don't get financial help.

The point is, I barely make ends meet trying to provide for my daughter on my income alone. And while I think that the child support laws are unfair to a certain degree, these expenses need to be included in the support for the child.
We already have enough children living in poverty. It's an absolute necessity.

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If he won't pay, Donald Powers should be Incarcerated, and have to chop rocks for the next ten years and his prison wages should go to connie.

Connie, For fun and subtle revenge, go to www.disgruntledhousewives.com and put him on the list of scum. Next, go to the local websites in Oregon and put all his identifying information on there. Why not discourage any other woman from getting 100 feet from him?

Most of this message is to Monika, who recommends you stay together for the kids and never get divorced. Monika is perfect. She is a superstar. The whole world is in awe of Monika, who knows everything and has had a perfectly planned life. Monica needs to stay away from those majic mushrooms.

I grew up with people that stayed together for the kids, and guess what: my cousins are seriously screwed up. I got a male cousin who won’t commit to one female (cause he sees what marriage did to his family) and a female cousin who is very demanding and is never satisfied with anything her spouse does. Why? They think that’s the way they are supposed to be since they’ve learned their parents’ behavior.

I got grandparents who got married young, and stayed married. Why? It certainly wasn’t a happy union. You just didn’t do that back then.
They had 5 kids, and come to find out Grandpa not only commits incest on his own kid, but is a pervert who flashes his Grandkids. Oh, but he’s a breadwinner. He works!

I guess Monika thinks you should stay married to all sorts of men, even the dregs of society.
Anyway, so, my grandma goes to the authorities to get help and guess what they tell her. You made your bed, you lay in it. You be a good little girl and go home and take care of your husband (wink wink) and then he won’t be touching his own kids. Well, he doesn’t stop, so she waits one day til he comes staggering in late at night from a night of partying with his friends from work, and whops him in the head with a frying pan. Well, he doesn’t molest his daughter anymore, but he still occasionally flashes his grandkids. So, we couldn’t even go over to see Grandma. Getting married and then getting a divorce is sometimes an unforeseeable event.

For you, miss Monika, oh she of little brain cell activity (and with lots of misfiring synapses), you are in for a big surprise. Life doesn’t always turn out the way you want it to. I’m sure Connie didn’t plan on raising her kids alone while her ex goes galavanting around the country, stiffing her for his own kids expenses. It’s okay for the ex, but if Connie did it, she’d end up on CNN.

Never blame the victim. The kids are victim and Connie is a victim. Her kids are suffering and are due a better life. Her dad has shown he is quite capable of making a dollar, but he wants to make sure his kids don’t get a penny. Why would you blame Connie? Oh, probably because you are a heartless, blind wench. You don’t understand what kids go through when they don’t have financial support from their dad’s. There’s a lot less opportunity to have a normal life especially if you can barely afford to feed your kids. You can plan til the cows come home and things still may blow up in your face. Maybe you are mad because your “husband” can’t buy you that diamond ring, or new car. Maybe you are mad that the money he makes goes to his “first” family. But guess what, it’s not about the ex-wife, it’s for the kids. And it’s unfortunate that you think that it’s a shame he gives her more than she can make at a job, but most women put off their education to take are of the kids and support their husband. She deserves every penny she gets, because she takes care of the kids. I bet your hubby can take a pee by himself, but I bet his ex-wife can’t. I know, because I don’t have a moment to myself. And while her ex-husband is moving on with her life, it’s harder for the wife to move on. Not a lot of men are willing to take on caring for kids that aren’t’ their own. Sad fact.

What happens between your plans and your fantasies is real life. Real life sucks. I, myself had a lot of standards for my future mate, but even that didn’t prevent what happened.
I met my husband in the Navy. We were raised in Christian homes, shared a common spirituality, and were kindred spirits. Both of us are positive people and we’re both known for our kindness and faithful outlook. We dated for what seemed like forever. When he asked me to marry him, I called his Mom (a great mom, I might add) and asked her what she thought. She said,
“You don’t have to worry. I raised my son to be married. He’s a good man.” So, we got married in San Diego in November of 1995.

I knew he didn’t drink and didn’t do drugs. I also knew he had a very high clearance with the government so he had to pass a background check and other security checkpoints had to be cleared. No bad credit, no arrests, no detox, no counseling, no juvie record. We talked to a Navy chaplain who pronounced us both of mature and sound minds, and cleared us with the Navy to get married. Yes, in the Navy, you have to ask permission.

This is where real life comes in. We left our training school and were sent to Florida for our duty station. I was about 25 minutes from where he was. He was stationed on board a ship, I was on shore duty. I was happy to share my life with someone that was in the same line of work and understood military life and demands. To me, I’d found my lifetime soul mate/soul-friend.

We spent as much time together as we could. Before we had gotten married we had talked about kids. Being infertile, I knew that there was no chance of natural conception due to a near fatal accident that I was in when I was a child. So, we decided the Navy was no place for a family, and decided to adopt after we finished our enlistment and be devoted parents.

Well, we had been married about eight months when I found out I was six weeks pregnant. I was shocked and he was stupefied. But, we both were very happy at the miracle we’d been given and started planning to buy a house.

In the meantime, we moved into a bigger place. About that time, my husband made friends with some other married guys on ship. I was very happy because I felt it would be good for him to be around other successful couples.
Boy, was I wrong.

Our daughter was born in March of 1997.
When she was a year old, I discovered that not only did my husband have a mistress, but also she was pregnant. I also discovered she was the third person he’d cheated with. The worst part, some of his friends knew about it. Everyone knew but me. I didn’t know.

I wanted to keep my family intact, so I told him that I’d help the mistress raise the child, since it was partly his and the child didn’t ask to come here. Well, shortly after that, she had a miscarriage or abortion, depending on which version of events that you believe. The child wasn’t convenient for either of them.

Anyway, I was stumped about what to do about the marriage. See, in our families, you just didn’t get divorced. On the other hand, he didn’t see any reason to quit dipping his wick in other places. I didn’t want him to bring me home something like AIDS so that our child would have no parents. I counseled with a Navy lawyer, a marriage counselor, and his parents. In the end, he told me he just didn’t love me anymore and wasn’t ready for a family. Then, he offered to walk away and never see our child again.

I myself am an orphan. A stalker killed my mother when I was seven, and my father broke up with my mom and left town after a very long relationship. She could never find him, and then, she died, taking the truth with her. I know what it’s like to grow up without your dad. I couldn’t believe he’d offer to abandon her.

About the time my husband moved out, he decided to put some of his personal effects into my storage unit until he could find his own place. In the meantime, he came over every few weekends to stay with us so that he could have time with my daughter.

One summer day, I decided to do a little yard work. I was standing out in the front yard with the rake and realized that even if I wanted to use my weed-whacker, it wouldn’t stretch all the way to the driveway. So, I went out to the utility shed to get it my heavy-duty extension cord. When I opened the door, I saw it right away, (it was bright orange), but when I stepped up to get it off the shelf, my foot caught in the suitcase strap and I fell. I felt pretty stupid, falling like that and being covered with dust and dead spiders. I looked around the unit and got sort of depressed that all his stuff was out there, labeled and numbered. The suitcase has been jarred and it was tipped over and pulled about a foot away from the wall where it had been resting. I started to pick it up when I noticed an envelope sticking out the side. I also noticed there was feminine style loopy writing on it. I started not to pull it out, knowing it was probably from this pregnant girl and that I would get upset. But I couldn’t resist. And what I found when I read it was that his high school sweetheart had hooked up with him on a trip home to see his family (I had been on duty) when we had been married for 6 months.

I was pretty upset, as it was very explicit. I opened the suitcase and there must’ve been 100 or so letters there, dated all the way back to before we were married and all the way up to my daughter’s first year. When this hs sweetie found out I was pregnant, she told him that he should leave me because I wasn’t fit to raise a child (funny enough, this girl had no life skills, no education beyond high school and worked at dairy queen. She was a real winner.)
Well, the day I went to divorce court, I was emotionally devastated. I felt I did what I was supposed to, graduated high school, went to college, got job training (five years in the Navy), got married, and finally, had my little girl. But none of that mattered.

My daughter hasn’t seen her dad since she was two years old. She will be six in two months. When we were getting divorced, he told me that he was staying in Florida because I had another year in the Navy and he wanted to be with our daughter. But, exactly one year after we divorced, he moved back to his home state of Oregon, and ended up back with his other high school sweetie. They are now married, (she has a 4 year old from another marriage), and are expecting their first child in the spring. I am happy for them.

Now, it took me a long time to be happy for him in any way, because I felt my daughter and me got totally shafted. He cheated, he left, and he lied.

He never once took her to the doctor, emergency room, took her to anywhere. The only time he was there for her was when the Navy made him take 6 weeks to spend with his daughter before he went on a 6 month med cruise. He’s never bought her a birthday present, never a Christmas present. Thank the good lord I nailed him to the wall with the child support, because I get that and that only every month. No letter, no nothing. We don’t even have to go through the state.
But paying child support doesn’t make a father. I have one full time job working for the government and one part time job. I also pay for not having her dad here. I am utterly exhausted every day. Unfortunately, I can’t volunteer for a lot of her school functions, and my patience wears thin. Her dad until very recently, continued to live it up skydiving, mountain climbing, snowboarding, skiing and partying. Oh, and he’s was a ho.
Yeah, I make sacrifices for my daughter. And, I’m the one who inwardly suffers when Jackie sees another kid with his/her dad. Jackie knows about her dad, has pictures of him, and knows how we met and how much we both love her. She knows that it wasn’t her fault that we aren’t together anymore. I don’t say anything bad about her dad, but I think she’s a very smart kid. Actions speak volumes to kids. Jackie’s dad has never been here for her. It’s unfortunate that the only reason her dad pays child support is because I know his social security number and because I nailed him to the wall because of it. He made a child with me, and he has a responsibility to financially care for her. Morally, he has an obligation to the Almighty for her care and moral and ethical training. But, I feel that I’ve just fine with that.

There are so many good men out there, but chances are, there are a lot of pigs too. Men that prey on single women to get to their kids. Perverts. Men who are on their best behavior when you are dating and then turn into maniacal monsters later on. Men that are good for nothings. I’m sorry, but my ex has it easy.

I, I admit, get all the good stuff. I hold her, I play with her, and I get all the little wet kisses and she always offers to share that sticky candy she’s already licked. I get all the blessings and all the pain. I’m the one she tells, “Mom, you’re my favorite.”

Problem is, that was my ex’s choice too. I have been, for 4 years now, sending him pictures, letters, email updates, etc. I call him if he happens to feel like giving me the number where he’s at. I don’t make her dad into a lazy jerk, an emotionally unavailable person, and a person who doesn’t finish what he started. He is slowly doing that to himself.

So, Monika, people can be PERFECT like you and PLAN every waking moment. Sorry, I’m not a TYPE A personality. Most people aren’t either. The truth is people fall in and out of love for all sorts of reasons. Some legitimate, some not. But you can’t knock someone for not being PSYCHIC and not knowing their mate is going to turn out to be an alcoholic, skirt chasing, drug using, non-working, responsibility spurning and spiteful, abusive jerks. They come in all shapes. But before you go pointing your fingers at people for what OTHERS have done to them, you might want to turn that finger around and look at yourself. Yep, you. I think you may have some real issues with anger, jealously, abandonment, self-hatred, insecurity and hatred.

Put yourself in the kid’s shoes, and you will see the only ones suffering are the kids. They’re the ones that people like you put between parental squabbles. People like you make the kids feel guilty for loving either parent, and people like you utilize children to run your little hate speech back to the other parent. “Tell your mom to get a job and then she’ll have some money.” Crap like that. I’ve been on both sides. I’ve been raised without a father’s love and financial support, and now I’m raising a child with out patriarchal love. The cycle continues. Once people see that it’s not just about money, well, maybe the kids will come first. You think it’s about money, but it’s not. Not entirely. Isn’t a little part of it that you’re jealous?
But, it’s not your money anyway, it’s his. And he’s paying it for his kids. So really, you should stay out of his problems with his ex-wife. They were there as a family before you came along and it’s really none of your business.
Until you can be civil to his ex, you should consider maybe some anger management classes, or should take up knitting, basket making or weaving. Cause really, why are you yapping about that anyway? You’re more concerned with his ex than he is.

The author of this complaint has full rights to do what she has to do. If she wanted to, she could send a PI or a bounty hunter after him. The FBI also has some pages for Dead-Beat Dad’s. No matter what silly fluff comes from people like Monika, a father or a mother has an OBLIGATION under the law and to God to raise their children. If they aren’t there emotionally than by law they HAVE TO pay child support. Or, they can go to jail. And if they go to jail, waaaah, cry me a river. That’s what you get for forsaking your own.
I hope life doesn’t smack Monika upside the head, but it probably will. She’s living in Monika-land, ruled by fairies and unicorns. But, life on earth is a lot different.

Cori, you're amazing

First off, read your reply and my first comment. Not that it means a whole lot, but you misquoted me. Nowhere did I say women should "expect" to take care of their kids by themselves, I believe the word used was "assume". Like I said, not that it means a lot, but it would be nice if you would quote me correctly.

And yes, single moos - whoops, moms, should get off their butts and get jobs. You almost make it sound like they shouldn't. Many moms do, being somewhat smarter than the average bear, and those are not the ones I'm talking about. Of course no one plans to get divorced, but you have to make sure that if necessary you and your child can survive if something happens to the marriage or the husband. Jesus, that's just common sense, or should be. That's part of having the responsibility of a child. I might ask if you are for real as well.

Women should not expect to be taken care of. Jeez, haven't we come a little farther than that? I'm not dissing men. I'm saying that as a parent you need to have the ability to support yourself and your kids without having to depend on a man. There is help to get a better job or start a career if you just look for it. Anything can happen - husbands die also, sometimes without leaving insurance or money. A little thought and planning can go a long way.

And you, Cori, probably should have started making sure you were able to take care of your child by yourself when you realized that the alcohol was becoming a problem. But did you?

We all know that goverment in every state makes money on garnishing wages.

They filed the following rebuttal to the above Rip-Off Report:

Their email: user9856@hotmail.com
Their name: Monika

Their relationship to the company: Consumer Suggestion

Rebuttal:
Dear Heather,

First, my husband was divorced by default, when his attorney dropped him, his ex-wife's attorney didn't bother to send divorce papers to him until it was too late, claiming that he couldn't find him. But as soon as the judgement was entered, he found him and tried to collect the rest of the property that ex-wife "won" in the judgement.

Second, I think that both parents have MORAL OBLIGATION to raise kids and should put their own personal crap aside. At least let the kids grow up in a full family till they are old enough to understand that it's not their fault that parents do not get along. I think everyone read and seen enough that this is the first thing that kids think about.

Third, if a woman in this post was looking for her ex-husband to make sure that he has an ongoing relationship with their daughter, she wouldn't be calling him a "Dead Beat Dad" and screaming that he owes her over $50K.

She would put a posting to encourage that man to stay in touch and show love to his daughter without any strings attached and let the system take care of the rest. We all know that goverment in every state makes money on garnishing wages.

Monika

RE; E.D. FROM IDAHO

Fisrt I MUST apologize for misquoting you by using the word "expect" instead of "assume." It really doesn't make much difference though, because the way you phrased that sexist statement, both words pretty much mean the same thing anyway. At least that's the way I took it.

Secondly, I'd like to say that you've been living on the farm out there in Idaho way too long! To set the record straight....women give birth. COWS do the calving & we're NOT moos, sheep, or bears either! Do YOU refer to all of the women in your life (mom, sister, girlfriend, wife, etc.) as animals?

Also, in your first response you mention (I won't directly quote you) that as a "woman" we need to have the ability to support our kids in the event that something should happen. In this last response of yours, you use the word "parent" (which would refer to a man OR a woman, by the way) & which you should have said in the first place because it makes much more sense & doesn't appear as though you're saying that the majority of the responsibility of raising a child should be the womans. So don't get so bent out of shape when your choice of words are misconstrewed by others.

Furthermore, in my situation, when I was married & realized that my husbands addiction to alcohol was becoming a problem in our family, I tried everything possible to make the marriage work because I didn't WANT to get a divorce. So, yes I probably wasn't as prepared to raise my daughter alone as I should have been according to you, but I was too busy trying to win a losing battle with alcoholism.

Unfortunately, divorce was inevitable for me because my ex did not WANT to change or WANT a family anymore which I found out after the fact & after it was a little too late. Even though he stated that he would go to his grave not knowing what he wanted out of life (he's on his way there, by the way) he chose to have our daughter & he is just as responsible as myself for bringing her into this world & no matter what the circumstances are, he must help to support her as well.

Also, I don't ever WANT to depend on or EXPECT any man to take care of me & I can certainly take care of myself. But when it comes to providing everything for my daughter that she needs I CAN'T do it on my income alone nor should me or any other woman out there HAVE to. In this day & age it takes 2 incomes to raise a family. Sit down & do the math!

I have rent to pay, electric, gas, phone, water, trash, car, car insurance, gas for car, food, child care, clothes for daughter, lunch money for school, school supplies, medical & dental which I can't afford so it comes out of my pocket (my daughter has regular checkups & takes meds every month for a thyroid condition) she also needs braces, & last but not least any entertainment that I can afford for her after everything else is paid for(which is why she very seldom gets to go anywhere or do anything).

My ex, used to support his daughter, only because he HAD to & the funds were taken directly from his paycheck each month. But after he quit his job of 18 years,(which was 3 years ago) any support & health benefits for our daughter went out the window.

He is now nearly destitue, lives with a friend, rent-free, pays no utilities, has no car payment, no car insurance, & works for another friend of his who pays him under the table so that he can continue to collect welfare & food stamps. In reality, I'M actually supporting HIM. He could care less about what happens to his daughter or whether or not she even has a roof over her head or food on the table. He makes no effort whatsoever to spend any time with her while always making excuses for himself.

He's content with the lifestyle that he leads just barely getting by & has no desire to better himself. He spends every day feeling sorry for himself & whining about how he doesn't have any money to give me for child support. And forget the court system. Been there...done that, only to find out that he doesn't have to pay support because he's living off of our government. So, I can't touch him. Great justice system we have!

Finally, your last statement about deadbeat dads is really a winner! To quote you: "Keep pursuing him, by all means, but assume you're not going to get a cent. And get on with your life. Like I said before...are you for real?? Get on with your life?? That's much easier said than done. Granted, I made a very poor choice in a husband, but I wouldn't change that choice for anything because I wouldn't have the wonderful daughter that I do. Don't be so judgemental about MOST women until you've heard what their situation is. Take that to the farm!

Thats really sad but...

I have not been married and of course never divorced and i have no kids and I can't imagine how horrible it must be to end a marriage. I've heard of so many stories about woman who call men "dead beats" and ask for money and never give them the right to see their child. I could understand if the man was abusive or had drug/ alcohol problem and needed to fix himself first before having a family life, then i could see letting him have little or supervised visitation but never not allowing them to see their child. But in any other circumstances I can't imagine not letting any man or woman see or be with their own child. It's just wrong!!

I wanted to say a few things about this.
My father had married and divorced a woman and they had a child. He then married my mom who had 3 other children from a previous marriage's .The dumb b****(his ex) made him pay child support for 18 years but after 18 years was up she was getting money hungry and claimed he had not paid her for 3 years which he did and they put a hold on all of my parents account for 3 months. Let's just say that was a really bad christmas for all 4 of us kids not to mention we had to eat at my grandparents home and almost had no home to go to. He never got to see his daughter ever since she was born he maybe say her for about 2 years of her life maybe less than that. I have a sister who I have never met had not heard of until she sent my dad a letter a few years ago. He was not a dead beat dad the mom was the dead beat.

She refused him the right to see his child or be apart of her life period. My father is a hard working man and for that stupid cunt to do what she did just because she wanted more money to support herself was just wrong. My mother never collected child support from her first husband because she was afraid of being killed by that man. Her second marriage was no picnic either. Both my mom and dad worked so hard to raise all four of us and tried so hard to make things the best for everyone.

The second man she married did pay child support but it was hardly anything and he was allowed to see his 2 kids and my half sister is actually living up their with him now with her husband and kids. It's so hard on a child to not have both of their parents and this is how serial killers and bank robbers are made.

A friend of the family is currently going through a divorce and her son is 11 years old. The dad makes a lot more money because he owns his own business, but she try's her hardest to try and match or make what she does a little more better. luckily she doesn't have to worry about if her ex husband will pay or not because he wants to, he wants to be apart of his sons life and she wants him to be apart of his life as well.


If the guy doesn't want to be apart of your life or your child's life then fine let him. He wont ever know what kind of child or life he could of had. Please don't clutter up these ripoff boards with this crap!

I'm sorry, but the whole "stay together for the kids" deal is crap.

They filed the following rebuttal to the above Rip-Off Report:

Their email: kgs120@msn.com
Their name: Kate

Their relationship to the company: Consumer Suggestion

Rebuttal:
I'm sorry, but the whole "stay together for the kids" deal is crap. (for lack of a better word) I'm now 29yrs. old and my parents did that. They wanted the kids to grow with an intact family.Guess what? We all thought they should get divorcced. One of my earliest memories is of my father hitting my mother in the face. The nights of being awakened by them screaming at each other. (they thought we were sleeping and didn't hear
them) It wasn't fun. 25 yrs later they are still married and get along fairly well, however 25 yrs. ago it was hell on earth for us all. Some families are better off divided.

Click here to read other Rip Off Reports on Dead Beat Dads and Moms

UPDATE: He is going to court for a reason in Jan

Listen Tekboy and Andrea you obviously DID NOT READ the entire post and are basing your ignorant opinions on what others are saying and YOUR OWN experiences. GET YOUR OWN Report going. This report is to SUPPORT MY EFFORTS. YOUR ignorant OPINION doesn't count

Tekboy - Mr. Powers behavior made it necessary to get a R.O. and his C.S. is HUGE because HE REFUSED to PAY it! It is baffling you because you have not read the post! DID you view the KUTV news report on him? NO apparently NOT!

HE WAS ABUSIVE... I don't care what you think of me and my motives and if you could read, I am not asking for judgement on my character here... duh!

You are both saying that I am horrible for being responsible and he should be able to walk away from his responsibilities looking like a saint?

If you had read the entire post you would have read that I have requested that ignorant people like you both do not post your negative opinions here. Go back and read the whole thing... Anyone who would suggest that I should allow myself and MY DAUGHTER to be tortured by a man and let him walk away while We suffer for his lack of humanity is a bit off in the head.

You said it sweety... you have never been married or have kids so you don't get vote anyway. I know I am not the only one with a sad story but not all stories are the same and you can start your own post... stay off mine. I have EVERY RIGHT and entitlement to post and protect myself otherwise the LAW would not be backing me up and sending him to jail!!!!

I am asking for justice... him getting away with causing others to suffer is NOT OK!
I am asking for what is MINE!

You both are distorted human beings to read this post, here the horrible things he did and said and take his side.

Mr. Powers is going to court because he is in contempt of court... the US government says he is breaking the law, defying a court order... what illusions do you have that I HAVE SO MUCH POWER to force the courts go AFTER AN "INNOCENT MAN"?

He is guilty! I have been honest and done the right thing! If you can't get that then there is not much hope for you and I am not wasting any more energy explaining it.

You read only what you wanted to read and ignored the rest. If being judgemental and self-righteous makes you sleep better at night you have more problems than I do and I bet your life is a mess. Why don't you look at your life and stop judging mine?

I know exactly what I am doing! I am not going to accept punishment for something I did nothing wrong for. I will get justice... there is nothing malicious about that.

Arthur, you can reach me at yahoo now instead of hotmail. I appreciate your emotional support and assistance.

Mr. Powers has committed fraud, lying to the courts and he breaks every agreement he signs. He went to jail last time and still only made one payment then stopped and is going back to court AGAIN or contempt of court. This time I will request that the jail time of 90 days gets doubled to 180 and he serves every MINUTE! That is not malicious... it is necessary to make it clear that MR. Powers is not above the law and has to conform like everyone else.

Notice I said will "REQUEST" for you little minded people that means I don't make final decisions. I only get 30 - 45 seconds to express myself ... the JUDGE the USA court JUDGE decides his fate!!!!

If he is still cutting hair he is doing it illegally and not paying his debt ... HE IS NOT LICENSED!

Give him the kid! Have you thought about that one?

They filed the following rebuttal to the above Rip-Off Report:

Their email: noemail@hotmail.com
Their name: Z

Their relationship to the company: Consumer Suggestion

Rebuttal:
Give him the kid! Have you thought about that one? If the kid is such a financial burden for you, just give him the kid to your ex. Like you said it takes two to tango, but life is not all a dance. Sometimes, YOU as a responsible mother should step up and take responsibility for your action(s). Your ex decided to have nothing to do with you, take charge and raise the kid without this bullshit nonsense bitching. Life is too short, live your life, find you anther sucker to marry to help you raise the
child (financially)

everyone makes mistakes and we should all be responsible for our actions

They filed the following rebuttal to the above Rip-Off Report:

Their email: user9856@hotmail.com
Their name: Monika

Their relationship to the company: Consumer Suggestion

Rebuttal:
Dear Connie,

I came across the info about your ex-husband and telling you the truth I don't feel a bit of sympathy for you. Why?? Because you got married, decided to have kids and get divorced. The kids should have both parents in one home or people shouldn't have kids at all if they can't commit to those innocent young ones. On top of that majority of women are using kids in divorce to get a free meal ticket till kids are 18, get alimony
and make sure that all the marital assets are given to them and their ex-husbands are left with nothing but bills and marital debt. Of course they should give a whole paycheck to their ex-wives, shouldn't be allowed to see the kids or dare to complain about it.

When a woman owes child support (and yes, women feel they shouldn't pay) to her ex-husband, everyone feels that it is expected and nobody should raise hell about it, but when a man owes child support, we should catch him, castrate him and strip him off everything including his constitutional rights for the rest of his life and throw him in jail.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I am a saint of something. I was married and divorced too - my marriage lasted 4.5 years, no kids and my divorce lasted 15 minutes in court. Over, done and put in the past. I didn't get anything that didn't belong to me and since I can support myself I didn't need alimony.

I got remarried and watching my husband struggling with his evil ex-bitch to have normal visitation rights instead of being a dead-bolted father - other words being a paycheck to her. She spends more time in court than with the kids as well as spends child support money on attorney while the kids get clothes from charity and friends (she gets more money than she can earn herself). Did I mention that she doesn't bother to work??

On the other hand I work with 2 girls that are single mothers - both of them do not get child support - they both do not want it - one by choice, the other one was threatened by kid's father that he will hurt her if she goes to court for child support. Over a year I have not heard them complaining even once about not getting child support. They both work hard, do anything they can to give the best care possible to their children.

The bottom line is, everyone makes mistakes and we should all be
responsible for our actions. Instead of wasting our time in pursue of justice, which will never be around since judges are human too, we should concentrate on bettering our kids' lives, cause they are our future.

Also, if you had encouraged your ex to visit your child, allowed your daughter to have healthy relationship with her father, he would be living and working in the same state and garnishing his wages wouldn't be a problem. But if you show everyone that MONEY is what you are interested in, then I am not surprise that he "disappeared".

Sincerely,

Monika

To Those Of You Who Are Not In Our Shoes...

First to "Miss Dictate to Other's Monika". Sometimes divorce is the best thing for the children. After I got married my now ex began to drink more and more because of the new people he made friends with who drank a lot and soon became physically and verbally abusive...in front of the children!!! Are you so ignorant as to condone this type of behavior in a man and tell the woman she should 'stay together because of the effects divorce has on children'? I'm sure no one wants to get divorce but sometimes there is not a way to make ammends and stay together and in a lot of situations it is better for the children to not be raised in unhealthy marriages. If the parents are not happy do you really beleive the children will be happy...NO! Chidlren are resilient and actually cope very well if they are emotionally supported by other family members. I grew up in an intact family, not believing in divorce, knowing VERY few families who had been through divorce. My decision to divorce my ex was the best possible thing I ever have done for my children because I saved them from the pain of what their father did, they would have been his next victims eventually and I did not want my children growing up to learn that it is okay and normal to physically abuse the ones you supposedly love!!! I too have read all the books, been to workshops, worked with children of divorced families, yada, yada, yada!!! My children are happy well adjusted children who rarely get to see or talk to their somewhat dead-beat dad because he has made the decision to be what he not to be in their lives. Why should the children suffer because of dead beat parents? A-lot of single mothers struggle everyday to provide for their children and when the other parent doesn't provide with his part of the financial obligation that alone can be devastating to the children. This mother who posted and is trying to locate this true dead beat is not wasting her time, she is doing this in all fairness to her daughter and because she loves her daughter and wants her to have a better life. To this woman...my ex lives in Oregon, has played the game of not paying atleast half of 7 years now, has remarried and brought another child in to this world when he can't even be bothered to truly help support the two he already has, has not worked for 5 years but now all of a sudden has a job which he thought he could hide but I have my ways to find things out. Oregon State Support Enforcement does a pretty good job and if you have filed with the state you live in for support you can bring Oregon in to the picture since he lives there. They do revoke driver's licenses...they did this to my ex, they do throw them in jail for no less than 6 months and you may be able to get them to attach the house owned only in his new wifes name as it is community property and they can file a lien on the home which would make it impossible to sell since they like to 'run' so much. Oregon can order him to gain verifiable employment also. Report him to the local police department in the town he lives in, try everything! Just be VERY persistant, don't let the frustration get to you and DON'T EVER GIVE UP...THIS IS FOR AND ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER BEING ABLE TO HAVE THE LIFE SHE DESERVES. There is not an excuse out there for dead beat parents who chose not to pay child support for their children...not one! God Bless you and in your search for justice upon this dead beat man. Remember, we all answer in the end, his time will come!

If the man owes money and he isn't paying then make the man pay.

They filed the following rebuttal to the above Rip-Off Report:

Their email: ck@hotmail.com

Their relationship to the company: Supporter

Rebuttal:
If the man owes money and he isn't paying then make the man pay. No one knows the situation until they are in it. So why be nasty to the mother or father, if he was such a good guy and there was no problem he would be paying child support right? Well, then if he owes the money and has the money to spend on his "toys", then he should be sending money TO THE DAUGHTER!!
No offense to the mother but the money is for the daughter and the child deserves it! If he wasn't interested in seeing the child or being apart of her life then he should sign over rights, but until then the money is due!

it "takes two" to tango, ...

They filed the following rebuttal to the above Rip-Off Report:

Their email: Mj@hotmail.com
Their name: MJ

Their relationship to the company: Advocate

Rebuttal:
To John, Monika and other non sypathizers,

Any person who avoids the responsibility and moral obligation to be a fully participatory parent (both financially and emotionally) once they have children is WRONG!!!

And while it "takes two" to tango, it seems that it is usually the woman (not always, but usually) who ends up dancing alone and the CHILDREN are left as emotional wallflowers, waiting for just once to be "asked to the dance" by the absentee parent.

Child support is the difference between existing and living.

Shame on you who advocate this gross act of irresponsibility, no matter what gender or circumstance.

And while there are a great number of men and women who rise to the challenge every day and even if dirt poor, provide their children with rich lives - there are a great number who don't and quite frankly, these children are better off not having the experience of the kind of pain that constant exposure to an irresponsible parent can bring.

BRAVO to all those who rise to the challenge, appreciate the blessing of their children and prove that one good, solid and loving parent is ALWAYS better than one good one plus a deadbeat.

YOUR KIND SHOULDNT HAVE KIDS

It is MY opinion that is you can't afford to take care of a kid by yourself, then you shouldnt have one. Trusting a man to stay with you is suicide.

Parential Alienation Syndrome

Any attempt at alienating the children from the other parent should be seen as a direct and willful violation of one of the prime duties of parenthood.

At a loss of words Or Not

I can't believe some of the things I have read here from everyone.

I agree that it is hard to comment on this issue if you have not lived through it yourself. I have and continue to live through it everyday. I am a single mother of 4. I take responsibility for my part of having children by men that do not take responsibility for their part. Yes, I said men. I had my children at a young age. My first two by one father, we never married. Then my younger two by the man that I did marry.

I have never received a penny of child support from the father of my older two daughter. It still has not stopped me for making it possible for them to meet him. I paid for the trip myself because it was for my daughter's not him. He has the option of having contact with them any time he wants it is his choice not to. It does hurt my daughter's and being that now they are teens they some times say they hate him or they don't want to see him even if he tries. I remind them that we all have hard times in our lives and that they should at least keep in mind that he did give them life just like myself. I would never force them to see him after the choices he has made. In the same reference I will not bad mouth him either he is still thier father.

As for my younger daughters' father he never wanted to pay me any child support, but eventually started to pay. Now he has been out of work for a year and a half. He gets visitation every other weekend. I would never dream of stopping my girls from having a relationship with him. He has missed a lot of his visits in the past year. I think the fathers end up not seeing the children because of the guilt that they feel. No matter how much they want to justify not paying child support deep inside they know they are wrong.

I try to provide for my children the best I can. They have a good house to live in, food in the cupboards and I even provide new clothes and not thrift stores when I can avoid it. Sometimes they may not get some things they may want, but nothing that will kill them. My older two daughters now work so that they can have some of the things that they want. My children are good kids they have good values and do not blame any one for our misfortune.

Although, I would never express it to my children I am very angry that thier fathers are not responsible. I would do any thing I could to force them to live up to their obligations. So, Connie all power to you. No one can judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes.

We should all be intolerable of all deadbeat dads and moms. They cost every taxpayer money every year.

Also in the defense of fathers and mothers that are the absent parent, they should not be forced to pay such a high cost of child support that they can't even survive on their own. If the children were living with them they wouldn't be able to pay out more than what they could afford for school, clothes, or extra curicular activities.

It all comes down to the fact that if we were to start by teaching our children young that nothing comes for free and live up to all your obligations. Life and society would get better. We all need to learn how to be nicer to eachother and how to teach it to our children.

I think we have seen the intolerance and hatered that people can put out by just reading the responses that have come from this situation.

Peace to all.

I'm in Oregon

I am in Oregon, I will do what I can from here to help this child. Just for your information, this mother has been helping us track our deadbeat MOM. I read a lot of attacks, and I don't understand where they have come from. It seems that a lot was assumed about her personal life, that has no validity other than your assumptions.

Please keep in mind that when a deadbeat leaves, and doesn't pay support, that is the first clue that he/she has no interest in the health and well being of that child. This isn't about revenge, it's about doing what's right for children, hello??? Our future!! If the custodial parent (cp) leaves, do you think it may have been because of a problem in the marrage? Oh, good heavens, couldn't have been that!

Must have been his/her selfishness, right? I don't beleve that this deadbeat has been denied his right to communicate with his child, we see no proof of that, rather we see proof that she has accepted his meager phone calls, and he has refused to even tell his daughter when he's moving.

Quit beating a person doing all they can for a child and focus on the fact that this guy should have been a real man. As I said, I'm in Oregon, and if I get the chance to find this guy, I will!

LET'S BE FAIR

It's tough to see all the pain on both sides of divorce, but especially tough to see how the children are hurt. The sad truth is that there's no pat answer that will apply to all cases. Some men are good and some are bad, and the same is true for women. I don't like divorce, but I don't like to see people trapped in a hellish existence, either. And that's not to say the person's spouse is just plain bad. Sometimes two otherwise good people can be trapped in a relationship that serves no good purpose whatsoever. I'm married to a wonderful woman who stayed in a hellish marriage to a bully for 25 years. She believed she was "doing the right thing". She finally found the courage to leave him, with their youngest three children. He hadn't worked for over 5 years and was becoming more abusive all the time, both to her and the children. We have been doing everything in our power to promote the father-child relationships. The children don't even want to go see him most of the time, but we urge them not to let the relationship drift, because someday they will appreciate it and it would be so sad if they had lost it. She even gave him one year without child support so he could find work and get on his feet. Yet he is adamant about paying even a very small amount of support to ensure the welfare of his children. He says he'll never show any visible income that can be traced to him. I've seen some here call it "money hungry" and greedy to seek child support. I don't think that either parent's responsibility to their children is dependent on the relationship to the spouse. To even suggest that a woman who has to escape from an abusive spouse automatically relieves the father of all responsibility to his children is despicable to me. Refusing to take care of your children because you're angry at your spouse is simply childish, selfish, and grossly inconsiderate. The custodial parent wakes up with the children every day and sees them off to school. They drive them wherever they need to go, prepare all their meals, help with the homework, meet with the teachers, go to the school functions, stay with them when they're sick, and the list goes on and on. The least the non-custodial parent can do is contribute a small percentage of their expenses, just to honor their responsibility for the welfare of their children. If you're angry with the spouse, even for good reason, why punish the children? I've met parents on both sides of the fence who are very unreasonable about the arrangement, either with the support or the visitation. It's no great shock that people don't always act right. Just don't use the examples of corruption to condemn an entire system designed to ensure the welfare of the children. I believe that the vast majority of people actually honor their responsibilities, even if they're not altogether thrilled about it. I'm just saying, don't be so hasty to condemn anyone until you know all the facts.

There is Help

Connie: My heart goes out to you. Speaking as a father of two, I canot imagine abandoning my kids for any reason whatsoever. I go crazy if I am away for them for a day.

But, I digress, there is assistance for you. The firm I am employed with has a pro bono program. Pro bono simply is defined as "free assistance" to those individuals who require representation but can not afford it. You are in that position. Unfortunately we have no office in your state. There are firms in your state however that do have the aforementioned program.

Conduct a search on the web for "attorneys Pro Bono" in your state. Also, you may try a website titled "Martindalehubbell.com" There is a section on that site for locating pro bono attorneys.

Many firms require their attorneys to commit to several hours of pro bono work a year. I also have many friends who practice in that field but are not licensed in your state.

Good luck to you and please keep me updated. Perhaps I can do some research for you if you are unsuccessful.

Yet Another Suggestion

Connie: Also, call the MA. Bar Association and ask for an attorney referral for pro bono work. Sometimes, 3rd year law students will take your case for class credit, or, the Bar will find a practicing atty in that field who accepts pro bono work...again, good luck and keep me posted on your progress.

One Last Comment

And in Conclusion, not only will the attorney retrieve $ from the Bum and perhaps garnish his wages in doing so, but he/she can also get your creditors off your back and keep the roof over your head w/ power, gas etc....

Now I'm finished....I think...

Donald "Reed" Powers stopped paying support AGAIN! ..Help! Attorneys won't take my case without a $3,000 retainer!

I so appreciate your comments. I really needed to hear it. I just want everyone to know that Donald "Reed" Powers stopped paying support AGAIN! Because he has not paid Nov-Feb support ($2,300ish) I cannot pay my rent. My unemployment ran out in Oct 2004...he paid Oct's payment in Nov. I had to apply for Transitional Assistance and Food Stamps and they aren't even going to give me what he is supposed to pay.

So for those of you who have comments to make about women on welfare...screw off! Most women on welfare are so because the fathers of their children abandon their responsibility and it is the US Government who rolls out the red carpet for them to walk away. There is little if no consequence for the deadbeat parent who abandons his children.

My ex owns and operates a barbershop called the Barbership Barbershop (aka Reed's Barbershop) in Troutdale, OR. The license should have never been issued because at that time he owed me $58,000. Someone in the licensing office failed to submit his SS# to the IRS which would have resulted in a denial of his license. Now he has flipped the "tears on" switch and is saying business is slow. No one is snifflilng for me. My creditors aren't giving me extensions on my debts. My gas bill for ONE MONTH was over $503. I have other expenses besides rent and I only earned $18,200ish in 2004. I did not apply for assistance until Feb 2005. I lived off of $18,000ish and keep in mind that my rent is $1000 a month. YOU DO THE MATH!!!

So...he says his business is slow and they tell him "make at least one payment by the end of Feb".
He owes me over $60,000 now, THAT IS MORE THAN HE OWED ME WHEN I APPLIED FOR DOR-CSE ASSISTANCE IN 2000 TO COLLECT SUPPORT!!!

Naturally he might only make the minimum payment, mean while my bills are building interest and I am getting utility disconnect notices and am very close to an eviction. I say he might make the payment because he is banking on the very good chance that they will forget and the deadline will come and go and no one will notice. It works too because he is 4 months (and 14 years) behind and I was told the day he is more than 30 past due procedings would begin to revoke his drivers license, barber license, and facility license and a contempt of court would be issued.

IT HAS NOT HAPPENED... instead they gave him an extension. Then he said he wanted a modification packet, which gives him another extension. He knows this because he tried this technique last year probably at the advice of ONE of his lawyers...yes he has hired TWO attorneys. But remember he claims he is poor and has no money..sniff sniff.

Meanwhile I still can't get assistance from an organization to pay rent...they say I don't make enough money, they can't help me. So guidelines are set up so that either you make too much or not enough to ever get assistance. When I ask where am I supposed to live? I will have to uproot my daughter from the only stability she has; a home and her school and they just say "whatever" and shrug their shoulders. NICE HU?

So those of you narrowminded, self righteous, judgmental jerks who like to insult others and put them down because they are "stealing" your taxpaying dollars, WAKE UP!!! It is the very government you defend who is forcing women and children into poverty and taking the taxes you paid and spending that money on other things and that money isn't all going to welfare.

If one more person tells me that the US puts deadbeats in jail for non-payment I will go balistic!!! I have been begging and insisting that they issue a warrant and put him in jail and THEY WILL NOT ( I requested this because this will surely spark his memory about the money he has stashed and he will pay up pronto!)... I was told it is left up to each states district attorney to make the decision to procecute. Well these are the states he has lived in that DID NOTHING while I sat on welfare: CA, HI, AZ, ID, and OR is really dragging their feet and not only rolled out that "red carpet" I mentioned earlier but they have hired a security crew to help him get away.
Keep in mind that this same deadbeat that was physically, and emotionally abusive to us and his employer, the US NAVY did NOTHING!

I found him myself by searcing the internet...CSE did not search for him. If you can't help me financially, if you don't know where he is hiding his assets (he hides everything in someone elses name), if you can't take a picture of his barbershop, truck, house...or post flyers around his community (peer pressure will motivate him to pay) or you have a media conection that will report my case or provide some valuable advice or ideas or at the very least have something encouraging to say like Dee and all the others who are supporting me....

Then keep your comments to yourself...sit and spin so to speak.

I need an attorney!!! Attorneys won't take my case without a $3,000 retainer $200 an hour...they won't (the US GOVERNMENT WON'T ALLOW IT) take my case on a contingency (a % of the collections) YET HE HAS HIRED 2 DIFFERENT ATTORNEYS to give him advice on how to evade paying.

and another thing

I forgot to mention that I have worked and paid more taxes than this deadbeat. I have gone to college and earned an AA degree and went back to school to complete a certificate so I can start my own business. Building clientelle takes time so I am not making much yet but I AM WORKING! and plan to get another (part-time) job until I am earning enough but of course my car is broke and until my rent is paid I can't even think of getting the car fixed and getting another job.

I just don't want people to think that I am sitting around on welfare for 15 solid years expecting everyone else to take care of me and my daughter. I make sacrifices and make sure my daughter has what she needs the best I can. The Gov doesn't even allow me enough money for razors, tampons, deoderant, soap/shampoo, etc.

Donald Reed Powers has not worked /paid taxes for 13 years and now that he started a barbershop and is self-employed he is off the hook and those of you who own business you know about reporting profit and loss and how easy it is to get deductions. You all who are pissed at me and are calling me names should re-think this deadbeat who doens't pay taxes and let's you all (supposedly) support me with your taxes.

If you feel sorry for him you probably believe that George Bush is the president of the US too. HA...wake up and disconnect the wires attached to you...think and breathe on your own! (Remember the movie the matrix?)

Re:Cori

Cori, Here in washington, there ae a lot of complaints on the CPS system. I have to tell you this. My daughter has testified to the Ombudsman of the state, that our home was a good and loving home. As for resources every state has them. I can see why they wouldn't help this woman with a restraining order, it is probably because he hasn't been around for 9 years. No one in the court of law needs a restraing order if the ofender is staying away. I am not the only person here in this state that was treated unjustly. According to the reports to ombudsman the state has several law suits on them, for taking away and giving to the other parent over money issuses. As anyone thought that maybe a man disappears, and doesn't become involved, is because he knows in his heart that he wouldn't be good to that child at this point and time in his life? I know of two men that pay thier child support and the ex's of thiers still complain, pester them. These men had eventually choose not to see thier children. Because all the woman could do was disrupt not let go, and not let the child enjoy the visitations. With out hounding the child when they got home. As a matter of this subject I let my daughter read her report, and all the rebuttals here. My daughter said this, no girl of twelve is worried over child support for mom, that 12year olds have other things on thier minds. That the only time it affects a girls thoughts is if the parents says comments like, i could afford it for you if your faather would pay his child support. Well I take my daughter word for it. Out of the mouth of babes. She has a point there cause her friends come here and ytalk with me about it, and also my daughter. They don't want to hear that, they consider it none of thier business. Other than that the parent that raises them is supporting them first and then think of themselves last. I held down two jobs before I came ill. As for not seeing my child enough, One of those jobs I took her with me. There are alot of jobs out there that will let you bring your child. I will say this sense the last time I wrote then showed my daughter this report and rebuttals, we have come closer and we talk better now, also she has made up her mind to wait till she out of college. Started her daycare business to have children. So all of you out there everyone of your responses has help me and my daughter. I thank you very much!!! I was worried there for a while, for my child. You all helped better than some of her counseling appointments.

Hang In There Kid

Connie: Sorry, no offices in OR. Your ex bum is in contempt. I would get a certified copy of your divorce/child support decree from the court in which you originally filed. Inturn, this decree must be filed in an OR court or the venue where your ex bum lives. Then the OR court has jurisdiction and can take action against the bum.

Contact the OR Bar association for a pro bono atty. to do this for you. You can also look on the Martindalehubbell website for Pro Bono attys in OR. They are out there as I do pro bono work. Good luck and keep me posted. Keep your head up kid!

Thanx, I will take your advise and see if I can get a pro bono attorney.

Thanks Kevin...

I live in MA but the deadbeat I am looking for lives in OR. I already tried to get an attorney to take my case here a few years ago and I called the MA Bar Association and those lwyers said I need an attorney in OR. Do you know anyone in OR?

I will take your advise and see if I can get a pro bono attorney there. Again thanks! and that just doesn't cover it but it is just words. You have no idea how it makes me feel that stragers are willing to help and support me when I have no support of family or friends...It can be a very isolated feeling.

Peace,

RE: To M in Salt Lake City

Lady...what planet did you come from? Did you come on this site looking for a medal because you mangaged to raise your 17 year old daughter all by yourself without that so called paycheck from your ex?

Wow, you did it on your own & your daughter didn't have to want for anything! Well, good for you! Unfortunately, not everyone's situation allows them to do so.

I raised 2 daughters by myself, which I am very proud of, but that does not make it right that only one parent should be left with all of the responsibility of raising that child/children. It take 2 people to bring a child into this world.

Whatever choice you made to raise your daughter, is just that! YOUR choice! That may work for you & you may not care whether or not your ex takes responsibility for the child that he also brought into this world, but YOU have no right whatsoever
to criticize anyone else for the choice that they make when it comes to child support.

If nothing was ever done to collect the support that our children need to survive in this day & age, there would be a hell of a lot more homeless & poverty stricken children out there. If all of the lazy, loser, money hungry women on this site make you so sick to your stomach, as you said in your post, then you have absolutely no business being on here voicing your lame opinion! Go crawl back under the rock that you came out from under!

Non support is a huge issue in this country that needs to be addressed much more than it is! The Prosecuting Attorneys office is a joke when it comes to doing anything about this matter. I could write a book on the travesty of our justice system simply because I've been down that road twice now. What a waste of time & money! The deadbeats & the criminals have all the rights! Also, finding an "honest" attorney (there is no such thing)who will take a child support case without lining his own pockets first is also a joke!

In this day & age, a 2 person income is almost a necessity in order to live, (unless your YOU, of course)then one income is plenty! So, don't go shooting your mouth off about the women on this site or their situations that you know absolutely nothing about! You're the one that needs to grow up & get a life!

WASTE OF TIME!!!!!

I'm SICK of THIS! This is a woman looking out for her child and herself by trying to make a criminal responsible for his actions. If you can't help her, then SHUT UP!!!! And if it's "all about the children" why aren't YOU pissed off that some idiot in our society is abandoning his flesh and blood? Why some people feel the need to add ridiculous comments about what a mother should've, could've, would've, blah, blah, blah, on this web-page is nothing more than a low-life, nerdy computer geek with NO social contact trying to make him/herself feel better. What's the matter? Jerry Springer find you too stupid to let you on his show, so HERE'S where you'll make a name for yourself? It's a waste of EVERYONE'S time! If you can help a mother find a loser, HELP! HE'S BREAKING THE LAW, incase some of you are completely devoid of reality in our nation. If you can't, let your web-browsing take your crappy opinions somewhere ELSE!

P.S.--Monika, your comments make you out to be the BIGGEST jack-ass I've heard in awhile. You are a judgemental, unfeeling, jealous second wife that needs to take her RIDICULOUS rage at this complete stranger, and point it toward who you need to...your idiot husband that wasn't man enough to take care of his own business before dragging another woman into it! WHAT A MAN YOU HAVE...brainwashing you to defend him to his own ex-wife and kids. YOU'RE NOT EVEN WORTHY OF JERRY SPRINGER...YOU'RE RICKI LAKE TRASH!

My best wishes to the woman not giving up in her fight for justice! Child Support Divisions will make you want to pull your hair out, and the unjust always seem to prevail! But don't give up!!! If I lived in your part of the country, I'd help you find the scum!!!

He's living in Corbett Oregon now

I talked with Reed Powers a month or so ago. He says he is now living in Corbett, Oregon. This is about 10 miles east of Troutdale.

The other barber in his shop, called the "Barber Ship", is named Jan Millard. She also lives in Corbett. Coincidence? I don't think so. According to both Reed and Jan, they now live together in Corbett.

So it looks like Reed's wife Lorraine is out of the picture.

His barber shop is still open for business in downtwn Troutdale.

Deadline came and went & STILL NO PAYMENT

Yes again the District Attorney office dropped the ball. They probably aren't aware that he did not make a payment after they gave him 2+ extensions.....so I informed them via voicemail and am waiting to hear what they plan to do to collect my support. I relly don;t know what I am going to do if they give him more time to pay... Boy are they dim...he is playing them with his con act and they are falling for it even when I tell them it is his game.

And what is up with this woman he is married to... she is being his partner in crime...if it wasn't for her support he would not be able to live without working...he avoids paying taxes by living with a women (his surrogate mommy) to take care of him. She is a mother of 3 and a grandmother...and she is forcing my daughter into poverty by hiring attorneys to help him get out of paying. He gives a hell of a sob story so watch out you don't fall under his spell. If you know him you probably suspect that he is abusive to his wife. He is controlling and everything has to be his way ot there is hell to pay. Trust me...he is still punishing me 15 years later. NO matter where I hide he is still being abusive (emotional and economic) only now he can do it through a third party...the Dept of Revenue and the Child Support Enforcement offices.

Please forward this site to anyone you know in the Portland - Troutdale, Oregon area.

He no longer has his barbershop

His license was good until June 06 but in Nov when he decided not to pay child support anymore he cancelled his facility license...but the phone is still connected...that is weird. I was told his license suspension has begun and he will be notified that he has no drivers license as of next week. He seems prepared and thinks when there is no support to collect that DOR will give up and he can resume his life.

It looks like I will not get my payment arrangement agreement that will enable an organization to help me...so here comes the eviction notice...

Guilty??? Yeah, right!!!!

Dear Misty,

I don't feel guilty at all - I didn't have any kids in the first marriage - my life decision is to never put them through hell.

Yes, we both lost - we were victims of our ex-spouses' greed and in love for money (they loved money more than us). My husband was ripped of everything except marrital debt, I walked away from everything except my personal belongings.

Lesson #1 response:
Divorce is a hell for kids, their home is being distroyed, kids think it's their fault that parents are getting divorced, they can't be with both parents together, they can't go on vacation together, their self-esteem is being destroyed and they are exposed to many more phsychological demages (check e.g. Dr. Richard Gardner's books). But since the morale of all people is going down, obviously this is why divorce rate is 60% now and growing. The way parents behave - kids behave the same way.

Lesson #2 response - there are women called "gold diggers", which are only interested in money and having kids, so they are guaraneed child support and alimony after divorce.

Lesson#3 response - there are parents that behave normaly and allow non-custodial parent as many visits as kids and parent want. There are also parents that want to completely eliminate non-custodial parent from their life (like my husbands ex-wife) and if they didn't have a court ordered visitation schedule, the kids would never see the other parent.

Buttom line:
There are parents that care more about kids then themselves and will do anything to make kids happy and raise them in a healthy way.

There are parents that care about money and themselves more than about kids, hurt them mentaly, tell them bad stuff about non-custodial parent, prevent kids from seeing non-custodial parent and based on that they should be stripped of custody.

If you didn't read that on Internet - most of states are bias towards men. More and more men are starting to stand up against it - they do not want to be disqualified as custodial parents just because they are men.

Maybe my opinions are different, because I grew up in a country, where men and women are treated equaly for over 300 years, federal 50-50 marrital assets/debts division during divorce, federal child support audition to determine how much it should be (analizing actual cost of living). Every year the child support spendings are audited and verified that they are actually spent on kids and can be adjusted up or down for next year. Of course a custodial parent will be punished for not spending child support money on kids.

Child support based on income is not fair for kids, when their parents do not make enough to feed them. When parents are making way more than kids really need (comparing to cost of living), then a college fund or savings fund should be established to maintain anything extra. These

money is a big deal

sometimes money is a big deal. i am a single mother of 3. me and my ex are still great friends. we just got married early and grew up to be 2 different people as most of us do. neither of us would ever stop the kids from seeing the other. both of us knew we could not afford child support so we made arrangements to work out our job hours so we would never have to pay for day care and the kids would see us all the time. we still do things together. the kids know we arent together. but we split the bills. i pay for school stuff and clothes and health insurance. he pays for their living expenses. it is pretty much even.so money isnt always the basis of seeing a kid.i am sure if he wanted to see his child she would let him. but without someone to split responsibilities like i have there is a need for monetary restitution. for all we know she may be putting it all away for college or in a trust fund. my stepmother saved it all for my sisters cars and car insurancePLUS college. it earned a tidy bit of interest. not only that but if this man would pay his support which is court ordered or go in to court and have it redone as to why he cant pay then he wont be threatened with jail time. make your bed and lie in it. he has a child. would you want this to happen to you? what if this man had abandoned them? just walked away? she could have tried to get him to come home and work it out.maybe he didnt want to. in that case she didnt want a divorce. does that make it different? no. there is still a child with 2 parents. it is time for him to be a father instead of a sperm donor.

A Manuscript: "Poems and Letters From Deadbeat Daddy" Plus... **EDitor's E-mail, info on Dead Beat

What began as a vehicle to express my feelings of loss and being away from the two dearest people in my life after a divorce, became a way of communication, a way of life as time passed.



Laura and Kristina are now at the ages of fourteen years and eleven years respectively. It has been seven years since their Mother and Father's divorce. A very nasty divorce, and an ignorance perpetuated by a legal system that has ignored two innocent girls over this long period of time. The system vertainly has not worked in any effective manner for me, as a Father and has financially incapacitated me, probably for many years.



What motivates me, or I should say keeps my therapeutic sanity is the writing of poems and letters to Laura and Kristina, in the hope of healing my anger toward my former spouse, while expressing my heartfelt love for My Children, no matter what they may believe of a Father who must have abandoned them. I know they must feel this abandonment, from a Father who had such a strong bond with them beyond normal fatherhood. I am not sure the reader can empathize with the Father's understanding of true pain from the soul, or that this story can truly be understood with so many convoluted paths in his journey to see his Children.



Always mirrored in my mind while writing these poems and letters is the reflection of a picture, with a pink frame above Laura's Crib, and next to our rocking chair depicting the caption,







"Anyone Can Be A Father










But,


It Takes A Special Person To Be A Daddy."



I would give my life to go back in time, when life was so precious, so dependable, and so delicate.



There is another reflection from the framed expression above the rocking chair, where I sang lullabies to Kristina. The picture with a poem in its blue frame captioned the famous excerpt from, "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Beatrice Potter. I remember her favorite song, "You Are My Sunshine" and the sound so vivid, as if it was only yesterday.



Yesterdays have gone bye so quickly, as my senses have been numbed over the past seven years with the most precious children being taken from my life, leaving only my imagination to ponder. I have made nightly journeys into my subconscious memories of Richard Scarry's Books, trying to find Gold Bug hidden in various illustrations, books of nursery rhymes, books such as Goodnight Moon, Three Little Kittens and so on.



I wish for the many teddy bears to revisit my imaginary Children's Family. Now, Big Bear and his many friends are tucked away in plastice garbage bags in some musty cellar. Ans so I find my heart within a subterranean place of it's own, in limbo, awaiting the return of My Princesses. I live for the day my imaginary dreams, amy in some way, become a true vision of peace and tranquility outside a courtroom battle, a reality where fairness of jurisprudence takes hold of this nightmare, and casts it to the lowest levels of hell. I wish for God's comfort to be bestowed upon Laura and Kristina during our long and torturous seperation. I can seek sanctuary in my poems and letters from the heart and soul of my inner being, but what of My Children? How do they absolve those who have sinned? Those who thought vengeance was more of an appropriate remedy to a Father of two innocent Children, caught in a web of personal hate, sacrificing Children's love for their Father.



A special person was removed from Laura and Kristina's Life, leaving an idemnity of poisonous words for their loss, in describing their Father as a man who abandoned them, as if memory would be erased from a wonderous childhood.



A Father was lumbered from his family tree of inheritance, burned to ashes after being cut from the tree of life's blessings by serpents at the bowels of a sinewy oak until a bending of stature amongst the forest.



I say a prayer to God that no other man of children ever endures this journey, the reader is about to witness through anger, fear, hope and despair, never to find the years that were lost to vindictiveness, piety, guilt, power and manipulation. I pray at every opportunity for The Fathers and Their Families of our social fabric to gain the necessary strength to protect our God-given Rights to Fatherhood. Go the extra mile, never relinquish your trust to the courts and expose the injustice that is taking place every day in a democracy concerning All Children's Rights. The Children have no representation within the process of divorce; they only represent the pawns in a chess game of devastation.

May my communication to Laura and Kristina, provide emotional peace and consolation for other Mothers and Fathers in need of God's strength during very difficult periods of their lives. I only hope that God's covenant of Righteousness follows your life's path for the sake of all Children's peace and tranquility.






" Life's Blessings"

Touched by a heartbeat, blossoms this unique human being
From the seedlings of Angels, a special Child is born
Touched by the miracle of creation for all humanity to see
Where elegant words cannot describe the emotions adorned
Touched by the joy of sharing, Life's trust is treasured
A Cherub's Unconditional Love is so freely given
A key to unlocking the meaning of Love, Life's purpose measured
Touched by the measure of Life, God's awakening through a Child
We share this Special Child in Our World, this consummated Blessing.


Robert

stay strong....

I am sitting hear with my daughter reading this and we decided to respond to all…the good, the bad, and the ugly yet mainly to Connie…..

Have been in the same situation regarding a DBF for 17 years and my daughter is now 19 years old.
My ex got court ordered visitation rights, $250.00 a month support and health insurance. He moved out of state, remarried, and supported a step daughter.

I worked nights (more money) raised my daughter the best I could on my income, did not speak ill of her father, mad sure she has high morals and standards, go to school and excel in life. In the past 17 years he did not ones paid child support or made any effort to have contact with her.

Without my request I had to fill out a form send to me by the courts child support reinforcement agency and there were many forms in the past 17 years.

Only ones I had to face his avoidance to pay child support in that he tried to get me back in court claiming he is the better parent and that after he had no contact for 7 years. It never went that far since his attorney advised him against such bogus claim.

This man is not poor and always has his own business so it is not possible to garnish his wages. After my daughter turned 18 he thought child support or not the case is closed.

WRONG….I received a letter from the court child support reinforcement agency with the indication that I will now receive a percentage from his yearly taxes. Well, I did not pay much attention to it since my daughter is on her own now with employment, colleg