Richard John Santerre Jr. Deadbeat non-custodial parent not paying child support Manchester Connecticut

Ahhh, more love from Sharon and Laura

Laura said:
As for your copying and pasting techniqes, I just get really tired of reading the same thing I've already read previous to YOUR replies again and again on your replies.

Well, sorry to hear that. I copy and paste so that words you type are put into context. I also copy and paste to show where Sharon continuously contradicts herself with changing stories, misguided math and contradictory statements. Like when they got "NO Christmas gifts", but that magically turned into "Well, CRAPPY Christmas Gifts" after Kelly arrived and that turned into the "No Christmas Gifts - just send cash" rant. Need a few other examples?

I don't particularly care if I bore you, Laura. This isn't your thread, and again, you inject your Laura-and-Rob situation in here. That bores me, since if I wanted to read your drivel, I'd check out your ROR. Which I don't. Don't bring it here.

Laura said:
(well what Nick is NOW saying as he also changed his mind as well, but judges others for doing the same.)

I changed my mind after facts began to surface. You changed your mind because all of a sudden, you were faced with a similar situation. It's the difference between an outside opinion, and someone like you who is biased because of her own personal situation. Was that too "holier than tho"?

Now for Sharon:
Since everyone, including yourself, is entitled to their own opinion (which you so elequently have expressed in your previous posting to me: liar, fabricator, slanderor and an idiot)

I didn't call you an idiot. But I shouldn't be surprised at the exaggeration. Unless you can show me WHERE I called you an idiot, well, there's YET ANOTHER PERFECT EXAMPLE of you being a liar, fabricator AND slanderor.

This should be interesting, Sharon. Show me.

Sharon said:
let me make it clear that you don't know me, my children or my family. Now you want to talk about who calls others names, you just have, contradiction there.

I've seen enough to know what you're about. And I've seen enough to know what your daughter is about. And watching your shameless over-reactions and public displays of insults towards other tells me about what I need to know. And pitting your kids against their dad by letting them listen to your adult conversations on speakerphone is abhorrent behavior.

So no, it's really NOT a contradiction. You've given several examples of lying, fabricating and slandor. Like the Christmas gifts. Like saying your were destitute when you're REALLY married again with two incomes.

Those facts were offered by you, either.

Sharon said:
Go to a different ROR, there are plenty more "DEADBEAT" stories on this site for you to pick from. There are other ones that also list their ex's names, addresses, and phone numbers. You have the "freedom" to post to their sites as well.

Well, I guess that information doesn't apply anymore because he disappeared somewhere anyway, huh? I DO have that freedom. I choose the freedom to stay here and see what other stuff you'll try to pull. I do NOT have the freedom to post on your little website ford-whatever. So instead, I'll come where free exchange of ideas is welcome.

Sharon said:
You aren't the type of person I would trust at all with my children, or how the county that you live in, trusts you with the care and well being of someone elses child is beyond me.

I don't tell my foster children to get on the internet and insult their biological parents, if that's what you mean. Nor would I ever make my real or foster kids "victims" like you do, but that's your right.

Sharon said:
I don't need anyone to stick up for me nor do I ask for it.

Right. You're the modest type.

Sharon said:
You and Nick have both found PLEASURE out of ripping me every chance you get.

I ripped apart several of your ARGUMENTS because they didnt logicly add up. But there you go, being the victim again. No, really, don't let me stand in your way.

Ruth - good to see you, and thank you for pointing out the obvious.

Sharon said:
Now crawl your way out of my B***, or don't either way, you and Nick have expressed your opinion of me and I of the both of you.

Crawl your way out of my B***? What does that mean? (See Laura, this is why I copy and paste. You'd have no clue what I was talking about if I didn't cut and paste)

Elizabeth said:
My dad wasn't the best supporter in my life either BUT I respect my mother for allowing me to learn that on my own and never speaking ill of him. I would be mortified to surf the internet and find my dad on here. Doesn't anyone on these postings have any respect for your childrens privacy? Oh thats right, its okay to throw away their privacy in the interest of bashing their dad on a public forum. No wonder so many kids today know so little about respect. No one respects them.

That was ONE of the points I've been making all along. What do I know, tho? I'm making millions off of the Foster System, according to Sharon and Laura - who of anyone knows crap about it.

Elizabeth - did you see what Sharon's daughter wrote to her dad's wife? Good lord.

Shannen said:
There is enough pain and heartache in this situation to go around, and when you come along and stir the misery pot with wild accusations it makes the situation that much worse.

If they were wild accusations against the mother, then fine. The way I see it, she was making the wild accusations about conspiracies against her, and her unreasonable tone pretty much set her own ROR into play. Questions were being asked by people who wanted to know FACTS, and slowly, these "wild accusations" turned out to be bullcrap when the other side of the family stepped up and confronted her on her own ROR, and she started being unable to convince people, except her new best friend Laura. She turned down money. She refused vacations. All of a sudden, Richard wasn't as wealthy as she said he was - buying new cars and houses as originally stated. The guy didn't even have anything in his name.

And then she celebrates at Rich and Kelly's marriage breaking up.

I think before you post someone's name on a website, you better have your facts 100% straight. Sharon wasn't even close. And yet, she continues to be proud of her "hard work against injustice". Ironic.

Shannen said:
I believe that Sharon deserves your respect just for the fact that she has raised 2 children pretty much on her own.

She's remarried with a husband, and two incomes. If that's "on your own", then I must have misunderstood what "pretty much on her own" meant. You know, step-parents can be loving and effective too, but Sharon consistently keeps that fact hidden.

But these kids hate their real dad. If Richard didn't effectively do the job on his own, Sharon was there at every opportunity with her pompoms and a megaphone to make sure that happened. And she was there with the speakerphone along the way.

Enough misery to go around

I had thought quite awhile before posting. All I can say is this situation is so sad. Sharon, I admire your strength and determination, but this is going to destroy you. I watched it happen to my own mother. She hasn't been able to let it go and its been 30 years. I can't imagine what its done to your children. Either through apathy or guilt, this father does not know his children and their right to know him has been eroded.

I am also a single mother, so I have empathy for your situation. Many a nights I have wondered about where the money for medical expenses and new shoes is coming from. I am grateful that after a very painful and acrimonious divorce my ex husband and I have been able to aside our feelings and accept the dual responsibility of raising our children. We keep the lines of communication open and I have learned to let a lot of my feelings go. I would get angry when he wasn't paying to the letter of our order, and then one day realized that the only person that I was giving an ulcer to, was myself. He and I came to an agreement that we can both live with and our children are better off for it. I am grateful that my children have a step-mother that loves them and is a source of support and friendship. This isn't the way that I had planned it, but things don't always work out the way we plan.

To the family and friends that feel the need to chime in with their 2 cents, I have only one thing to say. There is enough pain and heartache in this situation to go around, and when you come along and stir the misery pot with wild accusations it makes the situation that much worse. I believe that Sharon deserves your respect just for the fact that she has raised 2 children pretty much on her own. And as the mother of your niece and nephew she should be given the utmost respect.

well, put Nick

Like I said the kids should NOT be involved in this and you're right, she did state she was raising them by herself, and she is married with 2 incomes, that by no means leaves Rich off the hook, but like I said if my first husband couldn't pay our light bill, or hold a job, wasn't it realistic to assume he would not pay his child support? I still think and agree with you Nick she has contradicited herself alot, and she did take enjoyment out of breaking up that marriage, now my concern is for the little one Rich and Kelly had and Sharon is probably patting herself on the back for what she did to that child, now her daddy's gone, and she got her revenge didn't she? AT the little girls expense, my thoughts are, if it was so rough on her with her kids, why on earth would she take a little girls father away, and ruin his marriage, unless it was for revenge, and I stand by what I said , if she didn't want her personal life on here and responded to , she shouldn't have posted this site, now she wants privacy go figure.

Again and again

Nick: You seem to be the type of person that takes a stick and pokes it into people's sides just to get them upset, and then sit back and smile about what you've done.

Nick: I did not bring up my ROR here.. you did, and didn't know what you were talking about.. I corrected you which is why it was mentioned at all.

I am not in the same situation, so there again your going off of your own half baked opinions instead of knowing facts about what it is you speak of.

I have said time and time again I do not agree with a lot of Sharon's actions... (Sharon comes on here and simply states to me that we agree to disagree) apparently your interpetation of that Nick was "I agree with everything Sharon has said and done"? Hence this must make me in your eyes.."Sharon's new best friend"

There is a time and place for copying and pasting.. yes your last post was reason to do so, as you well pointed out. However, I was simply stating that your copying and pasting is overdone, and not needed on most occasions for those capable of reading the report for themselves.

Sharon: Sorry for jumping this back up to the top of the pages.. I haven't been around in awhile, and just stopped by to catch up on what was going on with your situation.

I hope everything is going well for you and your kids.

Ruth: I too feel sorry for Rich and Kelly's little girl. I'm sure the situation of the living enviornment she was in had something to do with the choices her mother and father made to seperate. aka fighting, phone calls, harrassments.. ect. However, I don't think it is fair for you to lay that fault completely on Sharon as they ALL took part in those actions, not JUST Sharon.

All the best-

Heavens to Mergatroid

I can't even believe that we're still revisiting this post. Sharon hasn't even responded since 9/26, nearly 2 months ago.

Some agree with her actions, others (like me) don't, but the time has come to let this thing die a natural death and fade into the sunset. Continuing this post isn't benefitting anyone, and quite frankly, getting pretty old.

PS Laura, how are things going with Rob? Update us on your post, since it's been awhile since I've seen anything from you. Hug Naomi and the other kids!

Sad state of affairs

It is truly a sad state of affairs when the courts are the ones raising our families today. Although I agree that you women should get SOME support, I disagree in your tactics to publically humilify the other parent. I believe it to be bad parenting to put your children in the middle of financial matters, especially ones of this matter. That has to be sending them the wrong impression.

After reading many of the complains here, I had to stop because it sound pathetic. Most of you women sound scorned, jealous, and very much envious of the other parently life.

About the NO RIGHTS thing, that is not entirely true, my ex thought the same thing but after a court battle she found out I very much so had just as many rights.

Child support is not a way to control, distroy, or find self gratification or justification, it is merely support to help with the raising of the child. It takes both parents to step up to the plate.

There are many options on getting the money owed. I'm appauled that any parent would go this route to belittle the other parent, and I am truly ashame for you if you drag your kids into this matter. Let your kids be kids and allow them to love both of you. In the end the kids will be the ones that suffer most. Life isnt all about money.

I wish all the Mothers and Father well in their seemly unfortunate pursuit of happiness. LETS JUST REMEMBER THE KIDS.
Good luck!

The complaints just sound angry and bitter, dont believe me try reading through them again.

Concerned in Columbus

Bank of America is charging $1.50

I have paid out of my pocket for four sets of braces for our two children, this comes to a total of $11384.50. He owes me half of that which is $5,692.25. He also owes Monterey County the sum of $48,938.00.

He rufuses to answer any e-mails that I send to him and he hasn't paid for Bank of America is charging $1.50 any of the medical that he owes me back. There is a website called fakeford.com that has a lot of information/support for custodial parents trying to collect on back support and back medical. On this site there is a bill of rights for non-custodial, unpaying deadbeats that really says exactly how I feel about his rights and responsibilities as a non-parent, it is called "Deadbeat Parent Bill of NO Rights". Anyone trying to collect child support and going through the judicial system should take a look at it and send it to their deadbeat ex. My children have read it and when I get the final order, which will be next week, then I plan on sending all the information and a copy of the NO Rights to the legislators, congress persons, attorney generals, governors and media in both of our areas.

anymore suggestions

His phone number is (860) 649-3611. His wife feels that it is her business to get involved with the case. That is just wrong. She is not the mother of the children I am!! If anyone has anymore suggestions on what to do please feel free to leave me a message

He still hasn't filed in Response of Declaration of his income and expenses, and it is to late for him to do it

Thanks for the support

Right now I am preparing to go to court on 2/15. He still hasn't filed in Response of Declaration of his income and expenses, and it is to late for him to do it. When he received the papers in the mail, his wife called my place of employment to find out what my benefits were and then called my on my work phone to let me know what him and his wife had done. I hit the roof and I have proof, which has already been submitted with the court papers, and a written statement from my Human Resourse Department. That takes absolute stupidity to do.

I do know that he is active in the reserves and I have all of the information on where to send the paperwork once the judgement is handed down, which accourding to the attorney that is representing Monterey County, Ca is in my favor. The next step will be to get him to pay the support amount which has been set at $948.00. If he doesn't pay then I will seek to file a Contempt of Court charge against him.
Last week I did receive a child support check in the amount of $138.00, the first that I have seen since Aug. 2, 2005. He also sent along two packages for the kids, which he had promised to send back in October 2005.

My son, who is 13 stands 5'10" was thrilled with the motorcycle jacket and that motorcycle shirts and the odds and ends for his motorcycle back at his grandfather's house in Mississippi. The things that were sent for my daughter looked as if they were bought first for his other daughter with his current wife, whom I beleive is 11 years old now.

There is no way that this stuff was ment for a 17 year old young lady. There was a tank top (biker) that had chains for straps, very inappropriate for a young lady. When the package arrived I told the kids that it was up to them as to if they wanted to open it.
The week before that happened I found out the he still hadn't paid for my daughters senior trip. I phoned her on her cell phone (which he has informed me that I pay to much for cell phones) and let her know that it still wasn't paid for. She was extremely upset with him and she let him know it. There was a lot said during the conversation on the phone but to make it short she told him that when she grows up she will get his daughter and her to get themselves pregnant, leave the fathers with the children on their own because she wants to be just like him. Of course she ment all of this sarcastically. She asked him how does that make him feel, his reponse was that the decision was up to her.

The saga continues and I do appreciate the response. I will be letting this web site know what the final decree is and then I will be sending the web site along with the Deadbeat Parent Bill of NO Rights to the media, state legislatures, state representatives, governors, district attornies and whomever else I can think of to get the word out on him.

Get yourself a good lawyer

Get yourself a good lawyer. If he is remarried and has any refund from taxes you should be able to pick that up. I can't believe that there are actually women out there who support dead beat dads. That says a lot about a woman! I would be careful. It is obvious that neither one of them care very much for YOUR children. Any woman that would entertain the company of a man that doesn't support his children and then turns around and supports HIM is mental. And a father that would go jobless in order to get out of child support is criminal. If he owes that much why isn't his butt in jail? Why isn't his driver's license suspended? I don't know what state you are from but IN VA people go to jail for this, their credit is ruined, and they have no driver's license (they will actually boot your car). Talk a lawyer about this. I can't believe he isn't in jail at this point. Let us know how things turn out. Really the judge should lock him up when you return to court. Children don't eat once a year! They eat every day many times a day. What a jerk!

Update 2/15/2006 Court Today.. judge has ordered that Child Support be set at $948.00 per month

Today was my court date for the modification of the child support and uncomvered medical costs. The judge has ordered that Child Support be set at $948.00 per month and that any (dental, medical, orthodonic, eye) uncovered medical expenses be split 50/50 between myself and Richard. The only thing that I have left to do is to recalculate the uncovered medical from the time of 4/1/2000-12/31/2005. This will be done and filed with the court and then the final judgement will take place. There has been no response from him or filling of paperwork.

On 1/24/2006 Richard did make a payment of $138.00. Now take into account the last child support check that I received from him was August 2, 2005; that leaves six months months in which NO child support was paid.

Breakdown: 138.00

divided by 6 = 23.00 per month

divided by 4 = 5.75 per week

divided by 2 children = $2.88

The amount that Richard currently owes, because of the "token" that was given to the children maybe to ease his own mind, one can only guess: is $15,378.44 owes to his children and $49,411.04 he owes back to Monterey County. That comes to a grand total of $64,789.48. The interest that accrues on that for this month will be $649.89. This figure doesn't include the back medical which will be heard again in court. There is also a lien on his property that him and his wife own, which legally cannot be taken off until the back support is paid for in full.

For those of us who actually care about the children that we bring into the world, tell me is that enough to cloth and feed and keep shelter over a child's head. Is that enough to pay for medical bills, I say it is not. For those of you out there who are dealing with the same kind of issue with your ex-spouse I can understand where you are coming from and I want to help you fight for what is rightfully belonging to your children. Please look up the site www.fakeford.com (please title the subject line Child Support) or e-mail myself at ssant11801@aol.com and I will forward the message to the site. It will take a lot of cooperation from you, people on your e-mail list, people of their e-mail list and so on to get the word out and make non-custodial parents pay what they are supposed to pay. But please get the work out. Write to your legislatures, congress people, governors, district attorney's, media and let them know that we, the taxpayers, put them in office and if they don't enforce the judgments that are handed down by the courts then they will not be re-elected again. That is what I am planning on doing and I would like to help others out there in the same situation.

JUST LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

2/15/2006
The court finds that:

The court orders: Matter continued to March 7, 2006 at 8:30 AM in Department 16 (the department number is the only thing that needs to be changed on the paperwork that was just mailed out to you)

Father is to provide the court with an update of all Medical expenses not covered by Insurance (1) one week before the hearing

Request for Un reimbursed Medical was ordered on July 1, 1998.

X Father shall provide health insurance coverage for the child/ren if available at reasonable costs; A Health Insurance Coverage Assignment will issue.

Health Insurance is effective January 15, 2006

Father and Mother stipulate, Father to pay Child Support in the amount of $948.00 per month to the Department of Child Support Services effective January 15, 2006.

*This was the finding of the court for case #DA23891 Child Support. For the month on January you still owe $561.68 and for the month of February you owe $948.00 for a total of $1,509.68. This already puts you in Contempt of Court, for not following the court orders.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES TO STEFANIE AND STEVEN. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT REFUSES TO RESPOND TO ANY COURT PAPERS. SINCE WE CAN'T TALK ON THE PHONE WITHOUT YOUR WIFE GETTING INVOLVED IN OUR BUSINESS, AND HER ACTING AS IF SHE IS THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN, YOU ARE THE ONE THAT IS SOLEY RESPONSIBLE FOR NOT TAKING CARE OF YOUR LEGAL MATTERS. STOP BLAMING ME FOR YOUR Shortcomings AND LACK OF JUDGMENT AND/OR RESPONSIBILITIES, JUST LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

He better not be successful....

Note: I am not a lawyer, nor am I giving law advice, but just a few real-life suggestions that have worked for me.

Three child support payments in the last 3 years? What a loser. That covers what, no food, and maybe shoes and t-shirts? Richard, pay for your kids, you moron.

His "I sent them something" was only for appearances for the judge. Even on a website, that is pretty clear to see. It may have bought you some time, but now send the check, Richard! Don't forget the date, the amount and the signature.

Sharon, I can sympathize with you. I saw what my wife went through with a similar walk-away from her ex, and it's just unbearable to watch. In our case, we filed for abandonment and won, but that was because I was able to pick up the pieces and didn't need the cash he wasn't sending anyway. He did go to jail several times, and he ended up moving to a state where jailtime was not enforced for being a deadbeat, nor were DLs revoked. It just doesn't seem fair that he found haven in a state, but he obviously got the message that he better find ANY solution, because we were not going to let up. I will NOT post what state that was. Sorry, deadbeats.

If Richard is late, even one day, serve him for court. If he doesn't pay, serve him for court. Every month. Eventually the judge will start seeing "familiar faces", and get tired of asking the same questions to the same idiot. They tend to frown on people who ignore their judgements.

He better knock off that stuff at your workplace. Does he not realize that without a job, "you have nothing better to do than put all your attention on him"? I would hint that the next time he starts interfering with your workplace. He shouldn't want that kind of attention. You can ask HR to help you, also, if you have a situation with him "stalking" or "harassing" you (get the idea?). Maybe someone can screen the calls, or you can just hang up. Either way, at least inform them that you have a personal problem that may attempt to interfere with your workplace, and that you do not want it, nor do you have control of what someone else does with your name. If someone at work has faced a similar situation that you trust, bring them with you to HR, so they can shed some "uninvolved mutual" problem solving for your workplace woes. Two people confronting HR with a problem like this is powerful, especially if you feel threatened. And when HR pulls out paper and starts writing notes on your situation, that BECOMES A LEGAL DOCUMENT. Repeat the message you want so that they have to write it down. You have lots of rights - make your OWN notes of what was said and agreed upon - you can easily save your job in much much worse situations if you have your notes. Those are YOUR legal documents.

You're obviously a smart, strong-willed woman, and I applaud your ability to juggle life, kids, work and still have a fighting spirit while that little boy left his responsibilities for a tropical lifestyle with someone who supports him. They richly deserve each other. Maybe together they can come up with your child support. Wouldn't that be a hoot? She could be a cashier at 7-11 to pay for your kids - and judging by her "involvement", seems VERY threatened. Good! Don't back down now! I'd be calling and asking HER when SHE was going to earn the money to feed his kids! Obviously she had little qualms of getting in the sack with someone who had financial and family baggage - and moreso, since she wants "involvement" so much, she can "pitch in" and DO HER PART! Of course, she could quit or not pay, but then Richard would go to jail for contempt. Sounds like a tough break, but you know what? That's what you deserve for abandoning your kids and leaving them high and dry.

I'll keep an eye on this thread, and I wish you the best. Deadbeat Dads are third on my list of people I find most pathetic - right behind Child Abusers and Throw-up Drunks.

Now he wants to get me fired from my job

Now my ex has decided to contact my work to tell them that I use business time to e-mail or phone him. Nice try Richard, just like I told you when I called from my cell phone last night AFTER work, I will get your name out as the person you are, a DEADBEAT. You have made three child support payments in the past 8 months, may you be awarded the Father of the year award. The fact still remains, you owe a lot of money to your two children!! You don't like me e-mailing your Sargent with the National Guard about your lack of being able to take care of your responsibilities or e-mailing the Governor of your state, then learn how to be a man. It is your own fault that the kids don't want anything to do with you, your wife has made sure of that.

Instead of being mad at me be mad at yourself and do something about the situation that you are in. Stop with you threats and lies, just take care of your responsibilities. I will not stop fighting for what is right for the kids. I will keep on working with the groups that I work with, and I will keep on e-mailing the people who are elected to office and make the laws. The kids are the most important people in the world to me and I will continue to fight for their rights.

Thanx for the support Nick-Now for you KELLY

Kelly (the wife of the deadbeat who can't pay his own bills) you need to back off from me. You married an irresponsible no good boy, who ran from his responsibilities and is still running ,just behind you now. The reason why there is no contact is because he lies all the time and the kids don't like it, and I detest people that lie.

I, being the adult, and the children's legal guardian will not let my children be hurt or mistreated by you or anyone in that family. They want no contact with you or him. Better yet, have him write the story. But I forgot, he can't answer paperwork either so why would he. He would rather have you, who is not the children's mother, or related to them by blood, be involved in his court situation because he cannot speak for himself. He stated (on speaker phone) that you want us kicked out of our housing, because there is a lien on his and your house for $63,000. Just a little bit of change.

I also have the written report from my HR person on how you phoned pretending to be a prospective empolyee to get my benefit package, or did you forget that one. I have every right to be angry. You don't know him like I do. Your best bet it to leave me alone and tell Rich to pay his child support on time, and pay his medical which I am now posting on this site as being unpaid in the amount of $226.94 which is going up as of tomorrow becuase I have to pick up Steven's contacts, or maybe you would like to pay for them. I see you have to answer for him, because he is not man enough to do it himself. When I make mistakes I own up to them and I have made them and no I will not make them again. Back off!!!

Better yet show me what paperwork he has that shows that he is all caught up on what he owes to his two kids here in CA. Can't can you. Have a nice day, KEllY

Some of the facts... More to follow...

First, I have not made sure the kids don't speak with him. We really should speak the truth here and not only what makes you feel better. You clearly said they will have no contact with him until there is child support(which has been being paid since he has been working again) and when court is over. If you need to use me as a pawn then so be it. You obviously are angry with him and have made it your life goal. Don't you think this is unhealthy for yourself and your current marriage? But hey what do I know, I am supposively the one who has fixed it so the kids don't want anything to do with him. I think we should let everyone know that you want them to have no contact. I guess the time you put me on the phone with Stefanie when she was upset with her father was because she wanted nothing to do with me. That makes a lot of sense. When I have the time to devoted a couple of hours I can too write our side of the story. This is enough for now.

Time for Richard to Stand up to the Plate

Richard and Kelly-This is being done at my lunch time 11:50am pacific time, just so you can keep track Rich. A few questions for you (or Kelly who does the talking for you)
1. Do you think it okay not to pay child support for 8 months and not have me, the custodial parent, be upset?
2. Do you think it was okay to say that Kelly has reported to my housing to get us kicked out? You said this on speaker phone in front of the kids. Yes Kelly, that is one of the reasons why they don't want to talk with their "father."
3. Is it okay not to take care of your responsibilities, the current medical, which has been mailed to your house, and still remains unpaid?
4. Richard doesn't answer court papers, do you find yourself above the law?

I will continue to fight for the children, and yes they are old enough to make up their own minds and they can contact him if they wish. I will not have him contacting them on the cell phones, I pay for that. He can contact them on the home number which he has, but they won't talk to him. Go ahead and continue to think that I fill their heads with lies about him, I really don't care. I have the paperwork to actually back up what I say, he can't say the same thing.

It is so nice of you to worry about my health and my weight, but as I have said in the replies back to you sighning me up for Jenny Craig and the other weight loss places, don't bother I am under the doctor's care and he says that I am doing fine.

As far as my marriage goes, it is stronger then ever and my husband stands behind what I do, because he knows that it is for a good cause and that I will continue to fight for the rights of the children even when they are grown and out of the house because Rich will still legally owe the money to them.

Maybe you should put your energy into looking for a new man. One that can take care of his responsibilities and act like a real man should.

Sticking up for a deadbeat - now THERE'S a new one!

Poor Kelly.

Doesn't she realize that one day, when she gets too old, or too fat or too restrictive in the bedroom that Robert will probably divorce her for the next young woman? Or in this case, RICH woman?

And that getting any spouse support to help take care of her will be just as futile? Kelly, you DO recognize this, right? It's so sad to see a grown woman posture, pontificate and stand by a man who has proven himself to be worthless in providing for his kids - and then watch her expect different results from the same person. I guess you can overlook that, Kelly, since he is not "worthless" in providing for YOUR kids right now...

But for someone who would stoop low enough to pick out ways to hurt your husband's ex? It takes a soul-less person to feel good about that.

Glad to see you have so much time to call her employer, and banks about liens.... Because the way I see it, you don't have "a couple of hours" to post responses on the computer. You need to take those precious hours, get back to work and help your deadbeat husband catch up on his child support and pay for his kids. The "baggage" is part of the package, kiddo, and you chose it. Of course, since he's such a great catch, you shouldn't mind helping him take responsibility one bit! At the end of the day, having him around makes it ALL worth it!

Right? Kelly?

Insight

There are always three sides of a story yours, his and the truth. I am a divorced single parent of three wonderful children. My children are 14, 12 & 8 and have contact with their father as much as he wants. The courts ordered my ex to pay $300.00 a week which I knew he could not afford. We as mature adults did not drag our children through the mud or make our family business public.

My children are accustomed to a certain standard of living and why should that change because we as adults could not get along. We made our own arrangements along with his current girlfriend. Who is is involved because she is a part of his life. The money should not be the issue allowing my ex to be an active father is. When we were married he was never home or working. Our divorce was the one thing we could agree on for the sake of our children. They did not ask to be born or to be born to parents that fell out of love. They being our children deserved to have two parents that are happy apart.

I get mad and so does he at times but I would never put him down or fill my kid's heads with bad things about their father. There was plenty of bitterness on both sides but we both agreed that was our problem and decided to divorce each other not our children. Remember children grow up and they will eventually know the truth. I can honestly say that we as parents have kept them out of our financial situations.

Everyone has hard times and not everyone is perfect. My ex is responsible for half of the medical. I carry the insurance and do not work for any State Agency as you do. I do not understand how the medical is so much on your end considering you work for a State university. Have you been taking the tax break every year on 50% of medical or the 100% you claim to be paying. Were your children sick a lot? I really do not understand why you would publicize your exes name and address on a web site when there is a child in that house. How much sense does that make? What kind of a mother are you? your children have not seen their father in a long time you should feel somewhat responsible due to the fact that money is the only thing that you care about. What kind of a parent are you to talk badly about a man that you once loved? You had 2 children with him not by yourself. You have made all the decisions regarding what your children hear you say!

Life is not always perfect money is tight for everyone. I raised my exes son who was 3 when we got together and his mother never paid a dime of child support. He is now 22 years old and has finally had contact with her because I tracked her down. Not for money but so he could get answers from her not me! I never spoke bad about her or filled his head with hate. I encouraged him to keep his mind open and someday his questions would be answered.

I would really be intersted in seeing all the facts because I just do not understand your math. You were receiving child support payments steady up until the past year correct? I know for fact that it has not been 6 years. I also, know that you did not send actual docotr bills or statments YOU drafted a single page of numbers. Why don't you post the actual itemized medical that you are claiming I assume you have copies to back up your claim.

Sharon your sending out the wrong message to single Mothers

First of all, I want to know what type of woman this Sharon is?? To sit there and publicize your information like that is just so LOW CLASS. I can't even imagine what is running through that simple mind of yours. If I was the father I would print all this out to show your children just exactly how screwed up you really are. I have to say that I agree with this Kathy lady. For you to tell her to stay out of your business is such a joke. You sound more like you can dish it but you certainly don't like to receive it. I don't feel bad for you at all. If your ex- is such a loser then why even bother?? I am a single mother of two very young children. I don't chase after my ex for anything, not because I can afford it, but because I have something called CLASS, PRIDE & VALUES. None of these things will pay my bills but working another job and keeping my children involved in all Sports Programs will give me all the support that I need to make my children feel complete. I can't believe you waste so much time complaining. No woman should need a man that bad. It takes more of a woman to make it on her own instead of sitting and whining like a little bi*%# about what you don't have or didn't get. GROW UP. Like Kathy said, there are 3 sides to every story and I don't see Richard voicing his opinion. He must have more class then all of us. I honestly think you need to stop sobbing. Work for what you want, nothing is free. You're using this child support thing as a crutch because deep down inside you honestly love this Richard and you don't want him out of your life. If you really wanted him out of your life then why isn't he??? Be honest with yourself and everyone reading this.. Move on… Please!!! If you current husband can't handle the financial situation then one of you needs to get a second or 3rd job. What ever it takes to make ends meet. I honestly don't think that money is the issue here, sounds more like a woman who is hurt and wants revenge. You're making us single women who work hard to support our families look bad. You're sending out a message that women can't make it with out support from men. If your current husband is the man that you claim, then tell him to step up to the plate and be the man of the house. He knew that you had luggage and if he isn't willing to help financially support all of you, then it looks like this is STRIKE 2 on your part.

Sharon and Stefanie

Stefanie and Sharon,

First of all Stefanie I have a few things to clear up and say to you. I would call but know that it would be a screaming match and I'm just not into that nonsense. I do not hide from anyone and at your age, even being a young adult you have no right to speak to an adult the way you have. Whether you have respect for me or not this is not proper behavior and it is the ?adults? of the house responsibility to make sure it doesn't happen. Again, everyone has different standards and morals they live by. Apparently, in your house they are different from the norm. Second, I don't need to be told by you to take a step back maybe it is acceptable to speak to others like that but I don't find it acceptable.

As for Richard as you would call him, I do know he had no idea that it was on speaker phone and that you were listening. I feel no need to have my friends stick up for me it would be called concern and friendship. Friends are suppose to be supportive and stand behind you. I am sorry if either one of you can't develop relationships like that. Although, if you show the same kind of respect to your friends the way you have responded here they won't stick around.

I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and quite independent. I have a good self-esteem, self confidence, don't engage in self pity and don't have to crusade to get others to join my pity party , I would say I am a few steps ahead.

I don't need to be threatened either by you or your mother. I don't at all find it intimidating and if it makes you feel better ,again so be it. I did not realize Stefanie it was you who made this comment about Rich's father. He did not intentionally hurt you but anything he said and I know this will not be believed by you . You have crossed a line where there is no turning back. To hope that someone died a horrific death is just ignorant , uncompassionate and ruthless. I guess children grow to be a product of their parents (parent in this case, Richard is not involved as you point out over and over and over again) You are in a no win situation Stefanie, to have a lack of compassion won't get you further later in life especially wanting to be in the medical field. I really would like to say I feel bad for the both of you but at this time I just can't.

As the circle of life goes on it all eventually comes to an end and at some point you both will experience the unfortunate time of a death where the person suffers. At that point, you will both hopefully mature to understand that no matter what the circumstance are you never make comments such as you did.

As for Rachel she was close to her grandfather as you were to your grandmother / Mother. Are you having a tough time with it? Would you Sharon or Stefanie like those things said to you? Instead all he mentioned was a divorce which is comparing apples to oranges. Again, anyone with any kind of compassion or respect for any type of life whether it be an animal or person wouldn't say these things. Life is to valuable and precious and to have it taken away in a horrific manner. In fact, any manner at all it is one of the most difficult things to witness and be a part of. Thought you would have understood this after experiencing it yourselves.

As far as it being my business, I am constantly reminded it is my responsibility too. Which is it? Is it only my responsibility if money is involved or there is presents to purchase? (because I do the shopping) Oh, I forgot it's only between you/Sharon, Stefanie and Richard (aka sperm donor)

Unfortunately, when Rachel and my household is affected it becomes my business. I let the charades go on for years and only when you-Sharon decided to leave nasty messages where I had to protect the interest of my child did I get involved. You have claimed you are only protecting the best interest of the kids. Am I not expected to do the same? Bit of a double standard there, don't you think? I really don't want to be involved in your ongoing obsession with Rich.

As for your brother we never hear anything from him or about him. I take it he just doesn't want to be bothered with all this. I know he is more sensitive and I certainly hope he isn't subjected to all the bashing and coldness.

As for the idea Sharon not writing this and having Stefanie to write not to contact you or I will regret it who is the one really hiding here? Please feel free to call anytime if I am here I will talk. I don't have to answer to you as to why I couldn't take the call last night.

Last One?

Don't need to look in the singles adds. Thanks for the great advice--LOL. As for you having him first well let's just say who else did during that time????? One would have to ask. Couldn't have been that good.. You are right about one thing Nick is great support due to the fact he feeds you what you want to hear, when he can make sense.. I do agree this is getting no where and since you feel it is a great influence for the kids I really have to questions a lot of things.. I know it's in their best interest to read and be subjected to all this in your opinion.

A Matter of Convienence

You posted your business publicly in order to be heard and pitied. I do know Kelly and Rich and I have seen your so called back up paperwork. I have a Law Degree and I have reviewed your so called bills. They are not bills they are your handwritten dollar amounts and no court would order anyone to pay without backup paperwork.

Please, why don't you forward that over so maybe this could be resolved as you claim. Personally I think you like the attention. As for you dismissing my opinion it is obvious that you only want to hear that you are right. The other reason could be is that there maybe some truth in what I have to say. As for Nick you are a small minded person who obviously does not need to hear more than one side of a story. I have read your comments and not once have asked Sharon a single question .

Remember there is always three sides to a story and that is why we have a court system in place so there is impartial person to hear all agruments. As a matter of fact your phone call last was very interesting and I see you only explained on your rebuttal what you thought would make you look better. I see you failed to mention the fact that you had your daughter call the house and asked Rich to speak with Kelly and when Rich replied she was not home (because she was out with me) and he doubted that Kelly would call back that infuriated you to the point of taking the phone and going off on him.

This was confirmed by another person that was in the house not counting the eleven year old that you bashed and insulted later that evening. What about the comment of you stating that you were glad his father died? I guess you are right you are a great mom and don't lie to your children you show how to act like a raving loon and that name calling will get you exactly what you want right? I feel pity and sorrow for your children because they do not have a strong willed mother as indicated previously. They have a mother that needs to be the center of attention by broadcasting her children's pain. Suck it up lady you live in housing that is funded by HUD. Which we all know means you pay a discounted rent thanks to the rest of us hard working single mom's who do not use the system and fraud our fellow tax payers.

You make a decent salary and do have the love and support of your current husband. If you are that worried that your children are missing out because monetarily there father has beeen lax in the past year. Then I suggest you continue to keep track (a little better) and when this comes to court deal with it there. Right now your home life seems very unstable and maybe you should focus your energy on your family couseling sessions and stop this bashing you do have the self control right?

FIRST TO NICK THEN TO SHARON

I am guessing Nick that you know Sharon or really have nothing better to do than look for vulnerable women. First, I will not become restrictive in the bedroom with Robert because I don't know who he is.. I know that my intimacy with Richard is and will be in no danger unlike his past marriage. As far as gaining weight I've got a long way to go before I need weight management, I pride on the fact that when I step on the scale it says 122lbs not TILT.. As for Richard providing for the kids you should know the COMPLETE story not only what someone wants you to know…His kids are not my responsibility as I have been told numerous times when I offered to help. OH, that was left out of this wasn't it??? Your right I don't have a couple hours to post on the computer, I have a life.

Sharon, your little show last night was just to much. It is really a sad thing to bring the kids into it. You really don't give them the option to have contact unless it suits you. Bringing up Dickie was really a morally wrong thing to do and as you have shown in the past we should all expect it from you. I understand there was an attack on your family, right or wrong you should know, as you claim to be responsible parent and person that it was wrong. As you said you have a brain like an elephant and well lets see you certainly have the complete package as well.

ELEPHANT BRAIN

About your conversation last night or should I say temper tantrum? (I do believe the 80+ year old neighbors could hear your trap) Again, you did hit a nerve with me when you mentioned Rich's father considering the fact a twelve year old could hear you. (Who couldn't?) How would your kids feel if the loss of your family members were mentioned? In fact how would you feel? Yes, he mentioned a divorce which is a sensitive subject (especially when it comes to you and Rich) but no way you cut it can you compare it to death. Under stressful circumstances we all say things that come to mind. You compared yourself to an elephants brain. Aren't they intelligent?

BUTT OUT!

kelly- this is stefanie. you have no right to be all up in the business between my mother, my biological father and me and my brother. you are just tryin to voice an opinion for god knows what reason. and yes i did mean it when i said i hoped my biological fathers, father suffered a lot when he was dying. that was the crulest thing richard has ever said to me to sit there, knowing that i was listening on the phone because i had spoken to him earlier...to sit there and say what (bad names) my grandparents were and that he was happy that they got divorced.
and you know what? i dont feel sorry for rachel hearing it either. maybe know she knows a little of what her father would say just to hurt someones feelings.
you seriously need to take a step back from all this kelly. this issue from now should only include my mother, me and richard.
if you decide on sending my mother another email you will be reported to aol.
your friends need to stay out of it as well. you just need support because you are too scared to stand up for yourself, as was shown last night when i called and asked to speak with you.
dont contact my mother again. you will regret it.

Money Money Money

I am a little confused with your math. On 3/4/06 you posted the following dollar amounts:
$ 8,230.88 uncovered medical
$ 5,317.50 principle
$ 2,913.38 interest
$ 1,540.19 Child support
$ 203.69 Medical for Steven
$11,384.50 4 sets of braces
$48,938.00 Monterey County
Well let's look at this you cannot collect interest or principle on Medical expenses. Please refer to your California General Statutes. I am sure if you ask whomever is supplying you with your legal advice to look this up it can be kind of confusing. The 4 sets of braces?? Why on Earth would your two children require two sets of braces each?? If they did then I am sure you can provide detailed dental records they do not throw them out. Look if he owes then he owes but let's reflect back to your divorce papers. Do you have a copy? You clearly did not have any child support ordered. Why was that well that was because you were collecting State Assistance but failed to report that. The money owed to Monterey was for the money you collected and made the decision to be on state welfare instead of getting a job. Let me guess health problems....I am not saying that Rich should not pay what is owed but why should he pay all the money back to Monterey because you made the decision to sit home and leach off the system. That sure does not sound like a strong willed person to me! I went to college had children during that period and mind you had 2 very high risk pregnancy's. Not once did I ever use a Government or State agency to support me or my children. My husband and I married when my second child was 4. So technically I probably would have qualified. My children's father was unable to work due to and very bad injury he received in an accident. I was too proud to become a statistic. I really cannot believe that you have made this such a big issue. I can guarantee you that you have opened a box that I do not think you can handle. I will continue to help Rich and Kelly in their fight to pay what is really owed not your creative numbers. Get your pencil and eraser out because this should not be a way to make money but to collect what is righfully DUE! Best of luck hopefully your children will see this to the end. Not just what you want them to see and hear. Remember they are not small children they are young adults why not teach them to be responsible young adults with respect!

Thank you again Nick-Hi Kathy I'll reposnd to you

I am glad that you have a good relationship with your ex and I applaude that. I have never had that with mine. For the first 7 years after my divorce he ran from job to job and avoided paying his support. When I told his mother that I would take 100.00 a week for support then Suprise he called me at work, mond you I hadn't talked to this person in probably about 6 1/2 years. We worked out an agreement after three hours on the phone when I got home. I hadn't checked my mail in a couple of days and when I did I found court papers from the county that I live in. Come to find out he was married and had another child. I told his lawyer the next morning that the deal was off. He phoned me again and we worked out another arrangement. Legally I was entitled to 1328.00 a month in support. Our arrangement was for 498.00 per month, once I paid 1176.00 out of my own pocket for medical he would pay the next, then everything was to be splity 50/50. Needless to say I received the 498.00 per month but he never paid on the medical, because it was for braces, which both of my children have had 2 sets of braces. That is waht I am going to court on 4/18/2006.

I have never lied to my children when it comes to their biological father, nor will I start lieing to them now. For 7 years I did receive child support on a regular basis. He choose to have no contact with them thoiugh, he had our phone number and never used it, it was always me who would call him and let him know how the kids were doing. He never sent bithday cards or christmas cards or even called on their birthdays. He will tell you that I am the one who prevented him from contact. In actuallity he is the one who never made the attempt.
Even though times are hard, both parents still have a legal responsibility to support their chilren. That is the way that I feel and if you don't agree then we will agree to disagree. My current husband has never got caught in the middle of this situation and I am the one that deals with it. His wife on the other hand chooses to get involved and now sends me e-mails for weight loss centers. I have put his name and phone number on the Rip Off Report because that is my choice. He is a deadbeat and if you don't agree then please move on to someone elses report.

For the past two years it has been like pulling teeth to get him to pay the support he owes to the children. For a year I didn't receive anything for the kids, then for @9 months I did then for 8 months I didn't because he quite his job for person reasons. I have never quite a job because I have responsibilities and I take them seriously. Yes I do tell my children everything, they are old enough to hear the truth. I happen to be a great mom, ask my kids, their teachers, and the people who truely know me. Not the raving of their so called "father" who doesn't care and says things to hurt his daughter. I can say things too. I sure did last night and so did my daughter.

As for the current medical that he owes, yes I have the bills to back it up and yes they have all been paid in full and I can prove it. From the sounds of your response you see things from a different perspective and I do appreciate everyones response.

When it comes to raising my children, I have always done the best that I can. My son along with my daughter and myself see a family therapist because my mother passed away in our homs, she was living with us, and we have all had a difficult time dealing with that issue. Last night he through it in my face that at least his family doesn't have to see a shrink and his wife and him have never seperated or had problems. Yes I do cuse and quite a lot when I am upset, but to bring up the fact that I have us in coulseling is just wrong. I have to get ready for work. Yesturday I received two e-mails from his wife.
e-mail #1

You are FAT You need a diet plan. You need a doctor to prescribe something to stabilize your mood swings. You and your fat alcoholic husband should both stop with the drugs and booze, live your life and stop bothering our family. Richard can not hide behind me , after I saw you picture he sure could have hidden behind you. You claim to know him better than I do. You were with him for a few years , I have been with him for thirteen years. Richard has made our family very happy he is not fat, an alcoholic, or a drug addict. I laughed when you sent Richard you x-mas photo , When you are large than the christmas tree i couldnt help but think how could he ever be with someone so rude looking as you.
Best off luck with you fat loss, you have a long way too go. When your looking for some new cloths i hear coleman make things other than tents.

e-mail #2
Yes you are fat . You choose to use great language in front of the children , great role model. maybe a few more beers should help. Maybe some more pills would calm you down. All will be ended on april 18 maybe then we will see. You are just a mean person.

This is what I deal with. For the past two and a half years I have had back problems and a year ago I had nerve surgery. I have not been able to work out like I used to and I have put on an extra 50 lbs due to my inactivity and pain level. Is it fair to attact a physical problem? He says he doesn't care about my physical problems because all I am is fat and I do need the e-mails that his wife is sending regarding weight loss.

This is what I have to deal with. I am glad that you don't.
More to come....

To all the responses I received today!!

Nick-Thanks for your support and understanding, it is greatly appreciated when a man acts like a man.
Kelly-Look in the singles adds, don't worry about my weight, and don't it kill you that I had him first and I have two wonderfull loving children that adore their family (mother, step father, grandparents-dead or alive). Find another outlet for your own anger.
Kathy-Your not that great of a lawyer, just seeing it from their side, would never hire you for anything.
Marsha?-I am an advocate for children's child support rights, you don't me. I have worked two and three jobs and put myself through college and I have a degree, a loving husband and children. I have been a single mom, and have spent years sleeping on the floor so my children had a room and food in their mouth. I did it with no help from the deadbeat. If you get along with your ex that is great for you, I don't so get over it.

As far as my mental condition, get over it don't have one. I am just a mother who fights for her children, if you don't like it then move on, because I am, I am moving on for the fight for what is legally due to my kids.

This is exactly how I feel about deadbeats, this is also the last entry from me. Kelly/Rich keep up your campaign. LOL

Deadbeat Parent Bill of NO Rights!
We, the sensible and responsible people of the United States, in an attempt to ensure that all children receive every possible opportunity available to them, and to promote positive behavior as examples for all children, hereby establish some common sense guideline for non-custodial parents and liberal policy makers within the government who appear to be confused by the belief that non-custodial parents are entitled to rights and privileges, and that excuses should be made for irresponsible people who, in virtually every aspect of their lives refuse to accept any responsibility for any of their actions. We hold these truths to be self-evident:
That the rights of children are more important than the rights of irresponsible non-custodial parents and that non-custodial parents and liberal policy makers require a common sense "Bill of NO Rights."
ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to start a new family if you are unable to financially afford the family that you already have. If you did start a new family, and now argue that paying child support will hurt you current family, then you need to start making sacrifices for both of your families. Get another job. Reduce your standard of living. Stop being selfish and thinking only of yourself.
ARTICLE II:
You do not have a right to an easy life. Non of us has it easy and responsible people are willing to do whatever is necessary to ensure that their children have everything that they need-even if it means working two jobs.
ARTICLE III:
You do not have a right to expect the American taxpayer to provide your children with free health care or to provide you with educational programs or job training. That would be nice- but the rest of us have made sacrifices to obtain insurance for our families and to learnt he skills that are needed to survive in today's world and there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't make those sacrifices too.
ARTICLE IV:
You do not have a right to a reduction in your child support obligation just because you exercise your visitation rights. The emotional well being of your children and your ability to develop a relationship with your children should be your highest priority in life and is worth any financial sacrifices that you will have to make.
ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness as long as your pursuit of happiness is not detrimental to others. Your children should not suffer emotionally or financially because of your pursuit of your own individual happiness. If they do, then you should be entitled to absolutely no happiness in your life at all.
ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to blame your inability to get a job or pay child support upon your environment; the failure of your own father to be involved in your life; your race or religion; your lack of education or anything else that you may dream up. You are the master of your own destiny and if you can't motivate yourself to learn the lessons to be successful in life, then you have no right to complain when the judge sentences you to jail for contempt of court.
ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to withhold the payment of any portion of your child support when you have other bills that need paying. Your children are more important than any other financial obligation that you may have. The only financial right that you have is the right to reduce your standard of living so that all of the needs of your children can be bet. You also have the right to get a second job so that you can meet all of the obligations that you have created for yourself.
ARTICLE VIII:
You do not have the right to demand visitation rights if you do not exercise those rights responsibly and fully. If you have not seen or talked to your children for a number of years, and then demand to see them now that you are having to pay child support, the rights of the children to feel secure with you take precedence over any visitation rights you may believe that you have. If you have repeatedly failed to visit the children after promising them that you would. You have no right to insist that when and if you do show up that you be allowed to exercise the visitation rights that are contained in the court order.
ARTICLE IX:
You do not have the right to complain about the amount of child support that you are required to pay. When you complain, you are putting a dollar value on the lives and well being of your children and demonstrates to everyone that you are self-centered and shallow and do not have the best interests of your children as your top priority in life.
ARTICLE X:
You do not have the right to demand that the custodial parent provide a financial accounting to you for the child support that you are either paying, have paid or are required to pay. No matter what amount you are paying or are required to pay, you are getting an exception value for your expenditures. The amount of support that you are paying does not come anywhere near the costs of raising a child. The custodial parent is making far greater financial sacrifices-and devoting his/her entire life to the children and doing the best that he/she knows how to.
ARTICLE XI:
You do not have the right to have the child support obligation reduced because you buy school clothes for your children or have the children for a few weeks during the summer or over the holidays. The costs of maintaining a home for the children continues whether they are there or not.
ARTICLE XII:
You do not have the right to relinquish your parental rights just because you do not want to pay child support. If you do not have a relationship with your children, it is solely and 100% your fault. If you claim that you don't have that relationship because the custodial parent denied you visitation you are living in a fantasy world.
ARTICLE XIII:
You do not have the right to complain about the manner in which the custodial parent is raising the children. If you do not like what is being done with the children, you do have the right to get involved and help the custodial parent by spending more time with your children. If you do not exercise that singular right, then you are entitled to no other rights at all.
ARTICLE XIV:
You do not have the right to expect some other man or woman that is involved in the lives of your children to provide full financial support for them. That man/woman is not there to replace you, the biological parent and that person will never be able to take your place in the lives of your children unless you, by virtue of your own actions, allow that to happen. If you allow the "step-parent" to replace you in the lives of your children, then the "step-parent" has every right in the world to insist that you act responsible for once in your life and insist-and demand- that you contribute financially to the well being of your children.
ARTICLE XV:
You do not have the right to expect-or to ask-the courts to grant you leniency when you have failed to pay the child support that has been ordered. You acted irresponsibly, and as compensation to the custodial parent who had to make sacrifice after sacrifice while your were not paying child support, you now should be required to make sacrifices as well. Life is not a one way street. You should be held fully and completely accountable for your actions and are entitled to no considerations or concessions. You are not a victim of the judicial system-or what it may do to you as a result of your irresponsible actions. You put yourself in that position. At that point, you are no different than any other criminal who has demonstrated that he/she is unable to live by the rules of society.
Sharon

from Richards brother

For the longest time I have sat on the side lines and just lets these two gripe back and forth.
However I do feel the need to chime in at this point,
Please tell me you expected more from your life, when you got pregnant by hanging around an army barracks giving oral sex for a 40 oz of old english.
please Sharon please tell us all again that you weren't just playing you own version of " An Officer And A Gentleman". please tell us you had those two children for more than just army benifit.
Now as I said I stayed on the side lines and just let you all go at each other for many many years.
What has finially prompted me to say anything is a comment you sharon have made about one of the only men I have ever respected. The most Loving men I have ever met. the only true hero in my life.
Sharon did you actually tell my brother with in weeks of it having been a year sents our father died that you were glad he was dead?
That man opened his home to you and you said that......
Sharon give the key to the lock box where your new husband keeps those pain kills locked up back to him. Put the beer down. Sobber up and get clue. now my brother is a grown man and can defend himself. I really don't care what you say to each other. Its not my business I don't care I what goes on between you all.
I had to stop caring after years of trying to contact the children and their mother not leting me. Yes there is an uncle that has not seen his neice in 16 years and has never meet his nephew.
Sharon I have formed my opinions about you years ago because of that. I did not think you would be so low as to say you were glad our father was dead.
I had hoped that when the children turned 18 and where no longer under you controll I would be able to see them. Now I see you have poisoned there minds. Then again look what type of trash has raised them.

Michael
Brother of Richard

CLICK here to see why Rip-off Report, as a matter of policy, deleted either a phone number, link or e-mail address from this Report.

Good for you KID!

The fact is it DOES take two people to make children, and it does take TWO people to support them, mothers going after child support are not greedy, they just want their kids to have the lifestyle that they have always had. Wifey #2 calling your mother fat is insensitive and just what one would expect from the "new wife"wait until daddy leaves her with a couple kids and moves on to the next woman and she if she doesn't demand child support!
The truth is, HE CHOSE TO MAKE THOSE KIDS AND HE SHOULD HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT, she holds them when they cry, she sits with them in th ER all night when they are sick, she goes to conferences, and sports if they play, she makes sure their homework is done, and she is the last parent to kiss them good night, all daddy has to do is write a check, and seems to me he can't speak for himself or write a check and wifey #2 is doing all the talking. ATTACKING ONES WEIGHT is inexcusable and I hope to god you put on 300 lbs just so you shut your ignorant mouth on that subject. WHY on earth would you try to get the mother of your husbands children fired , so they can be homeless? while yours isn't?
Pay that woman for taking care of the children and be a man!

Kathy-Response now that I am fully awake

After reading your response and seeing where you live I think that you might even know my ex-husband and his wife. Please don't involve yourself with the situation. As I stated before, you don't know me or know what I have been through, please find another report to answer too. The medical that he owes on is for his son's eye exam and contacts which my insurance DOESN'T cover, or would you also like to see what my benefits are?

Nick-thank you for your support. I do appreciate your comments and suggestions. When we were yelling at each other last night he told both me and my daughter that he never contacted my work. I will have to contact my HR department to get the information so I have it for court

An observation

Sharon,

I am your ex-brother in laws current girlfriend. Let me first start by saying that I am not one of Richard's fans, but these are the facts as I understand them.

1.) In your original divorce decree, NO CHILD SUPPORT was ordered, because you were on STATE ASSISTANCE, and didn't want it, as it would have caused you to lose your STATE ASSISTANCE. However, in your dishonesty, you wanted Rich to pay you 'under the table'. He refused, understandably. I would have refused also.

2.) Seven years later, upon completion of your State Assisted schooling, you went after Rich for back child support. Which he paid for an additional nine years, including $98.00 a month for medical coverage that you woudn't use.

3.) About six years ago, you had the State of California file for back child support for those very first seven years. At that point, Rich was paying child support AND back child support. Then YOU attempted to collect it. That money is owed to the State of California, NOT YOU.

4.) You claim that Rich owes you for the kids braces and eye glasses, yet you cannot produce these bills? And you claim that they go back to 1998??? It seems rather conveinent that now that your daughter is about to turn 18 and you are going to lose her monthly income that you are coming up with 'so-called' bills that you cannot produce?

Have you ever heard of Munchhausen by Proxy Syndrome? It's when parents 'make', 'convince' their children that they are in some way 'sick' so that they can gain sympathy, collect disability, etc. I think you see where this is going.

(AND.... IF INDEED those medical bills are legitimate, then I ABSOLUTELY AGREE that Rich should have to pay for half of them whether he is 'legally obligated' or not. Just because insurance companies (those SOB's) consider it 'cosmetic'... doesn't mean that Dad should be able to shirk it.

AND two more quick points here.... how can ONE person have TWO sets of braces? and usually, the eye 'exam' is free if you purchase the glasses and/or contacts.

And since I just read the post from your daughter, I must say.... you are a LOUSY parent. What a nasty young brat... No wonder he sent her inappropriate clothing for a young "lady".... that child is no "lady." Obviously she has been infected with YOUR venom and hatred. Maybe if you spent more time teaching her to have compassion and less time trying to "get" Rich, she wouldn't be so EVIL... that remark made about Dickie, did not hurt JUST Rich, it hurt Dianne, Kelly, Angie, Rachel, and Michael and probably all the other grandkids, but while Rachel was unfortunate enough to hear YOU, Im sure Angie, by not speaking with YOU, will be able to spare her children such trauma, something a "good" parent does.... something you obviously know nothing about. Spend more time with your kids and less time whining to people on the Internet who couldn't help you even if you were right.

And to Stefanie...

You have a lot to learn little girl. Nastiness such as yours will get you in life exactly what it is has gotten your mother.... nothing less than a life of constant struggle and desperation. What you said about your grandfather was 100% wrong. You hurt your Uncle Mike terribly... and though you don't know him, I can assure you, no other uncle would have loved you more, had he been allowed a relationship with you that your mother denied both of you. I know this because I see him with his other nieces and nephews, with kids who call him Uncle Mikey even though they are of no relation, and by how much he loves our brand new baby. You need to see your mother for what she is.... a desperate, mean, vindictive, spiteful, hateful woman. Your father has his faults too, Im sure, as I've said, Im no fan, but.... the HATE you have for him is UNCALLED FOR based on what I can see of your mother. You owe Michael, Angie, Rachel and Dianne an apology for what you said about Dickie... part of being a grown up is to know that you don't hurt "everyone" just so you can hurt "ONE"...... get some help and get over this emotional trauma that your mother has subjected you to before you spend your life in unhealthy relationships that will cause you to turn to booze and drugs and abusive situations... cause that is what happens to women who play the VICTIM, which is what your mother does and has taught you to do.

-Vanessa

Saw Your Last post right after I posted mine

YOU DID NOT PUT YOURSELF THROUGH SHCOOL.... YOUR STATE DID.

RESPONSIBLE??? FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND, YOUR DOCTOR WRITES YOUR PAIN PILL SCRIPTS TO YOUR HUSBAND AND HE HAS TO LOCK THEM UP AND DOLE THEM OUT TO YOU.

RESPONSIBLE??? YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO REFUSE TO ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO SEE THE 'NON-CUSTODIAL' PARENT FOR ALL THE YEARS HE DID PAY SUPPORT AND THEN CLAIM THAT YOU WON'T LET HIM SEE THEM BECAUSE HE ISN'T PAYING.

RESPONSIBLE... WHAT KIND OF RESPONSIBLE PARENT TEACHES THEIR CHILD TO WISH SUFFERING ON A PERSON THEY NEVER EVEN MET....

WHAT KIND OF RESPONSIBLE PARENT SETS AN EXAMPLE TO THEIR CHILDREN TO REQUEST BEING "PAID UNDER THE TABLE" SO YOU CAN COLLECT STATE ASSISTANCE?

PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH.

Angie-thanx for your response

Here is the e-mail that you wrote-YOU are not the type of person that I want having contact with my children.
Again-no one in this "family" has wanted contact until now. Why? So you can tell my kids what a wonderful person I am, not by your e-mail

Stop sending me this S***!!!!
I am not interested in how you are trying to once again, drag my brother throught he mud.....
You act like he is the only one to blame here......Do you forget that you did not let him see or speak to those children for years....the only time they were allowed to callwas to ask for money and thenyou would ge ton the phone in your drunken, drugged up state to either yell him at or try to seduce him over the phone....
Do you forget he paid when he was working.......
Do you forget that he not he not only paid you $98.00 a month for insurance that you get for free he had insurance for them that you refused to use......
Take ME OFF you email list or this will get ugle...

Richard didn't contact me until I told your mother I would even take $100.00 a week for support. Then after everything was worked out I tried to set up contact with him and the kids, he stated that the kids were the ones who had to initiate the contact. He never wanted to have contact. How many different ways can I say it.

How did Stefanie respond to you. Didn't like it did you. My children have their own minds and I let them express whatever they want when it comes to this "family". You claim to love them so much and how come there is no room for love in their hearts for you or your other "family" members, because you all attack the one person who truly has been there for them, me, their mom. Don't hear from any of you for years, now you all come out and do nothing but attack. All of you, grow up, stay out of MY life, the children don't want you near them...how much clearer does this need to be to you. Steven won't say a word to Richard because he hears how he talks to me. You don't like the way I raise my kids, get over it, never heard from anyone of you till now, that I am reopening the case and actually fighting for what the kids are legally entitled too. If you want to show him support more power to you. He is your family, I am not your family, so of course you are going to attack me. If that makes you all feel better go right ahead. The fact still remains he owes the children and I will continue to fight for their rights.

Have a nice life Angie, Richard, Kelly, Mike, Vanessa and your mom who will probably jump on the band wagon next.

Two Sets of Braces

I just asked my assistant, who has spent 15 years as a dental assistant how a child can have two sets of braces during childhood... and although she is not a doctor of dentistry her experience as a dental assistant has shown that if braces are put on a child and the child and parents do not follow post instructions i.e. wearing a retainer, regression (which is where the teeth move back to where they were originally) then a second set of braces would be needed. Or they were put on too early, and the maxilla and mandible have grown with the child which would cause the teeth to separate and move back to thier original position.
Now there may be other reasons that a doctor of dentistry could provide, but these are the simplest and easiest ways for a child to need braces twice. Of course, we could consider two sets of braces part of the food chain (repeat business). there are MANY orthodontists who suggest braces at too early of an age.

And if the inital braces were put on and the parents never followed through with the treatment, which usually takes two years most dentists will consider that a whole new treatment service.

Seems to me based on what she just told me, if it happens to TWO CHILDREN IN THE SAME HOUSEHOLE, that the problem may lie with the parent and following through with the treatment plan. It's a shame she didn't realize this was happening a second time.... was it the same orthodontist who may have put the braces on the first child too early? Either way it seems that there is a parent not paying attention. And in that case, since you do not believe, according to that completely idiotic Bill of No Rights, that the non custodial parent has no rights to an accounting of how the money is spent, then he should only pay for one set, since if you didn't believe that he should be entitled to see it, it's possible he would have known it was too early and been able to advise you to not spend that money foolishly, although I doubt you would have listened. And since he is not "legally obligated" to pay for braces because they are cosmetic, and I AGREE that he SHOULD pay, I must say that I think he shounld only pay for ONE set per child. After all, not checking out the proper age for it, and after ONE child had to have them twice, you didn't learn with the second one.
And your Bill of No Rights is idiotic. Both parents have rights.

The floodgates have opened!

Kathy said:
As for Nick you are a small minded person who obviously does not need to hear more than one side of a story. I have read your comments and not once have asked Sharon a single question .

Small minded, perhaps. Never did I claim to be Shakespeare or Aristotle. How about a man so small minded that he can't even respond to his own ex-wife, but has his NEW wife doing his fighting?

Exactly HOW MANY questions should I have asked, Kathy? Is it so unbelievable that I could sympathize with a woman who struggles with life and kids while her new husband enjoys his "new found freedom", without paying his obligations?

Kathy ALSO said:
Suck it up lady you live in housing that is funded by HUD. Which we all know means you pay a discounted rent thanks to the rest of us hard working single mom's who do not use the system and fraud our fellow tax payers.

HUD is not fraud. It MIGHT be useful someday for someone who has, say, a $62,000 lien on their house in case they lose it. It's for THOSEE WHO NEED IT. Just like child support. It's for THOSE WHO NEED IT for taking care of the kids. Why is Sharon and her kids in HUD housing, while her husband who doesn't even consistently pay child support lives in a house without HUD supplementation? Answer: DEADBEAT.

You'd rather have the less than $20 dollars a year of federal money in your pocket so other people can be homeless? Please don't say yes.

Kelly said:
I am guessing Nick that you know Sharon or really have nothing better to do than look for vulnerable women.

I don't know Sharon, and how dare you accuse me of looking "for vulnerable women". I am happily married and fully employed - and ROR doesn't even allow the exchange of information between people.

Kelly said:
As for Richard providing for the kids you should know the COMPLETE story not only what someone wants you to know...

Then where is he? His defense is absent. I can only draw my opinion based on what I see. The fact his new wife so viciously defends him is a story that says something! He is aware, and has "representation" here. Your side of the story is name calling. What else am I supposed to think?

Kelly said:
Your right I don't have a couple hours to post on the computer, I have a life.

And here you are, with numerous, long posts, and you brought friends. Fault me for taking sides with one "stranger" over "another" if you must, but I call it like I see it.

Marsha:
I don't chase after my ex for anything, not because I can afford it, but because I have something called CLASS, PRIDE & VALUES.

Great. Why don't you fry that up and feed it to your kids for dinner tonight? It goes great with a nice hot cup of goodforyou.

Richard's BROTHER:
Please tell me you expected more from your life, when you got pregnant by hanging around an army barracks giving oral sex for a 40 oz of old english.

And your dad raised you and your brother to look for women by giving chicks 40oz of Old English in exchange for oral sex? You're making a huge production about your dad's honor and all, and I can see the results of his legacy.

Regardless, even if Sharon was "that cheap", then your brother obviously went for it - so the question demands an answer - Was hot-new-skinny-Kelly acquired with something of higher class, such as a bottle of Smirnoff or a litre of Jagermeister?

Either way, he IS responsible for his kids, which IS the bottom line.

All this name calling and accusations only delays the inevitable - Richard owes money!

Richard's BROTHER:
now my brother is a grown man and can defend himself.

No, Richard needs his brother and his new skinny wife to fight his battles.

Oh, and make that also Richard's brother's GIRLFRIEND, whose defense is to call Sharon's daughter EVIL. Why not sign the family dog up for an account, so he can tell us how he was never fed and always kicked? Does THAT pay the child support?

Kelly:
You are right about one thing Nick is great support due to the fact he feeds you what you want to hear

Don't use me as a smokescreen. Richard owes child support. Sharon says that Richard owes $15,999.09, so if this amount isn't right, then what IS the right amount? And when will he pay?

Either way, why is he sending $100 checks? That's ridiculous. You may not like it, you may not think its fair. But if that's the court order, Sharon has every right to go after it. If it's unfair, then bring your case BACK to court and argue the child support amounts in front of a judge and get a new judgement. I don't see you providing any OTHER figures of what Richard owes, so let's hear YOUR side!

Sharon's condition, "drug" or weight problem, and attitude isn't the issue. She is owed the money, and if, upon receiving it, she lights it on fire or flushes it down the toilet or buys a new Mercedes Benz is not any of your concern, and you have no say in it anyway.

But she said the court has ordered child support, and a man who ignores that is breaking the law. IS THIS WRONG? I have seen NO-ONE argue that point, so again, fault me if I assume your silence construdes as approval.

Again, a man wouldn't find excuses.

A man wouldn't hide behind his new wife.

He would find solutions and pay what is owed.

Enough is enough!

Sharon,
I applaud you for stepping up to the plate, not letting anyone down and showing the whole world what a wack you are!

This is ridiculous! You have clearly come to this web site to try to find support and clearly have only opened a line of communication between Rich's family and you. Not the communication you were hoping for and not the communication I would have hoped for, not ever having been able to contact you or my niece and nephew, but an avenue for communication just the same.

I can clearly see this is not your original intent, your intent was to "drag Rich's name through the mud!" Now that this has not succeeded you are attacking anyone who has responded. (Except Nick, your beloved supporter who apparently does not want to see the truth here) The truth is that your side of the story would be tainted to only make you look like the hero. And trust me no one is calling Rich a hero, but he is far from the "deadbeat" that you have tried unsuccessfully to paint him as.

Rich tried to have contact with the children when they were small and what did you accuse him of? You accused him of trying to kidnap your children, and wasn't there a point were he could only have supervised visitation, (Another way to try to win him back as we all saw it). When he moved out of state back to his family you had no contact until one day you get some kind of bug up your but to call his parents to try to get money from him. Never did you ask him to visit his children.

Now after all this time his daughter calls and has some contact with him, and poof you decide to go balls to the walls when he gets laid off. Never in any of your ramblings do you state that he has paid child support for all these years, that he supplied medical insurance which you would not use, and never do you state that part of that child support was designated for you to obtain medical insurance, which you receive through your job for free.

You leave out allot of detail when telling your story, like the fact that the original divorce does not even address support issues. Like the fact that only after you found out that Rich was happy and had had another child did you ask or demand support. Only after you learn that Rich's current wife Kelly came into a little inheritance money do you want to go after Rich again for money?

And speaking of inheritance money, I am appalled that you would not have stopped your daughter from saying those comments about my father suffering in his death. You have no idea the absolute ignorance you have by allowing any child to speak to anyone the way that she spoke to Rich. (And your daughter is a child at 17 years old)

I am all for allowing children to voice an opinion and have a say in what happens in their own lives, after all we only shape and develop children to become independent on their own. But what you have done here is allow your children to only see your side of anything. To allow a child to have a voice and be respectful while doing so would be more productive and would actually make for a better more well developed child. Never the less you condone her behavior and think that is perfectly ok for her to use the kind of cuss words she uses on the phone with her father. That just tells you how she was raised. No values, no morals and with no respect for others.

Where is your son, whom apparently has all these issues with his father while you get on the phone and rant and ramble on the phone?

I commend you for putting your self through school (with the states help), I applaud you for sleeping on the floor so that your children could have a place to sleep (but wasn't that because your drunken husband (The current one) burned down your apartment!)

Lot's of people go through this with divorce but a very small majority of them decide they are the ones owed. I was divorced, not once did I call my ex's mother up and beg for money or refuse gifts and only ask for money.

Why start ranting and raving about how irresponsible anyone is before you actually go to court. As for this entire unpaid medical and all, have you ever sent a bill, a real live bill to Rich, no you tell him what he owes over the phone or submit a list but not actual bills... Would you pay an electric payment without seeing an actual reading of the electric meter? (Bad analogy you probably do not pay electric in government assisted housing) But I think you can see were I am going here regardless.

One more question before I close......... What is the actual reason your children do not have anything to do with their father? In one blog you say it is because he doesn't pay child support, in the next it is because of Kelly, In another you said because Rich lies, in another you claim they are sticking up for you...Is it because for so many years you and your parents referred to him as the sperm donor? Which is it?

You started this blog, now when people stick up for Rich and actually make sense while doing so you go all freaky. People have stuck up for you as well not seeing the whole story; unfortunately they seem to not stick to the case at hand and do not make any sense.

if you can't take the heat, get out the kitchen

THANK GOD THERE WILL FINALLY BE PEACE AND QUIET.

The silence begins this is always a sacred time. No e-mails, no calls, nothing from you makes my life even better. I guess it relates to the old saying if you can't take the heat, get out the kitchen. Lord, I apologize no pun intended...
Thanks to all who helped make this happen....

Part Two for Angie-Answer each paragraph

3. Intent to collect on child support.

4. Supervised vistiation-Don't trust him, don't want him. Still don't want him. Would you like it spelled out???

5. His child supoort arrears reduced by $50,000 to give him a break on our first agreement. Now he is upset that after 8 years I want the paperwork redone. Not my problem.

6. County has gone after him since I had to go on AFDC or Welfare or hand out. Your family sure didn't help did they??

7. Don't talk bad about her grandparents.

8. When it come to your family they (both children) are allowed to say what they want, how they want, and they don't get in trouble.

9. Wishes not to even acknowledge him at all.

10. Neigbors nephew burnt down 3 apartments, not my husband, get your facts straight.

11. Good for your girl, here's a cookie.

12. He has all the bills and the copies of the checks to where I have paid them. I can send you my electricity bill, last month it was $124.15!!

13. You are long winded-Call your brother, get my phone number, call the kids tonight and see if they will talk with you or with any member of your family. If they will acknowledge you bravo. If you get yelled and screamed at for bashing me, oh well I warned you.

The original issue here is the failure for your brother to pay his child support on time, pay for the kids medical like he is supposed to, and pay his back medical. Get off of my weight, off of my kids and back to the issue, DEADBEAT who does not pay his support. Your family can contiue this blog. I have the paperwork on the divorce, on the child support, what has been filed and what hasn't.

IGNORANCE IS BLISS!

Sharon,
I really do not care what you think of me but really what are you basing your opinions on. I clearly stated that he should pay what he really owes not your ficticious dollar amounts! As for miding my own business you opened the door to let everyone into YOUR business so deal with it. I can see by your ignorance that you thought that this would hurt Rich. But in fact what you have done is brought his friends and family that really do care about him together and we have shown him that we support and applaud him for having to deal with an unstable nut case. The ones to pity are the ALL the children involved. Well hopefully Stefanie will go away to college and get out of your troubled home. I mean that sincerely! She needs to be exposed to a more productive life and from what I understand she wants to be in the Medical field. I applaud that and hope she can find happiness that she has lacked in her youth. We as parents need to be held accountable for ALL actions. Whether they be financial or nurturing. You have alot of issues and maybe you should print all this and bring it with you to counseling. This I am sure would be considered unhealthy in all aspects. Deal with your money issues in court. But your public cry for help is not necessary you are only doing this for revenge! How sad after all these years apart you still harbor so much love that you are angry.

Stefanie,
It is natural to want to defend your mother no matter what she has done or can do she will always be your mother. Remember you do have a biological father who has not had the opportunity to be a part of your life. Someday you will know all truths and then and only then should you make judgement. Don't get me wrong you have every right to be angry but try not to carry that anger through your adult life. It will only bring heartbreak.

Sharon,
Hopefully you are done with your little game that you started on this web site. I really think you should allow the space for people with issues that need help being resolved. You will have your day in court just make sure you have all your paperwork to back yourself up and then you should get what you are intitled to. This should not be a way to supplement income. You should only get what is really owed to you.

Didn't even bother to read your responses

Kelly-May you have a good life.
Michael-May you have a good life and a healthy baby.
Vanessa-May you have a good life and a healthy baby.

As far as court goes.
Richard owes $15,999.09 in back child support.
Richard ows the county $49,649.66
Richard owes in current medical 226.94
We go to court for the back uncovered medical costs. These are the facts that are undisputed. You can have your "attorney friend" look at all the paperwork you want and even hire an attorney out here. The question would be "how can you hire an attorney, but not pay your support?"

As far as the children are concerned Stefanie and already voiced her opinion. Steven doesn't want any contact and how dare you (Richard) say that it is my fault for their counseling (and mine) for the fact of their grandmother passing away in front of Steven and him not being able to help. He was only 12 years old when this happened. The last words she said was "I'll see you at home honey, Steven made it home too." You have made light of the fact that we are going through counseling and you made your daughter cry, those were hurful things. Any communicate you want to have with the children go through the mediation process with them and see if they will talk with you. What you have said and both have heard regarding myself, their stepfather, and their grandparents, YOU have done the damage. You can say what you want and so can your family. All this time none of them have wanted contact because I am such a bad person. That is in your eyes and anyone else who knows you but not me. Kelly talks trash about me and my weight not knowing what my medical conditon is as far as the nerve damamge goes and the surgeries that I have had to have.

I went on assistance becuase I had no money, you had just got laid off from work and told me the only way was for me to go down while we lived in Vallejo and get assistance because we lost the medical to and I was pregnant. When I came home in tears after taking Stefanie with me because you wouldn't watch her, I told you about the type of people that were down there. Dirty, nasty people. Shortly after that I did leave you, for good. When I came home no one would hire me because I was 6 months pregnant and no health insurance. Thank you for calling my case worker and telling them that I had 25,000.00 in my madien name at Bank of America. That is on record. I worked part time after having Steven at the college, yes the case worker did know that. After putting myself through college and making sure that the children were taken care of I went to work full-time and was finally able to get off of the system and afford an apartment for me and the children. I am a sucess story, most people stay on the system, I didn't, I revecied my degree and went to work. I have always worked and have worked as much as I can to take care of the kids.

Now all these years later your family wants contact. That is a joke. The kids don't want contact with people who never cared enough in the first place when they were growing up. So don't even try with all of your family. If you want to see your kids so bad come to CA. Get the money from your wife to pay for the ticket, show up at my house, and ask to see the kids. See what they say. Instead of Bashing me for my weight or for "brainwashing" my children, show up and ask to see them? It is your right, exercise it. Go ahead, what is stopping you?
It is obvious that no one in your family works because of all the traffic on this site. But I have a job to do.

Take care and have a great day!

Lord do I feel sorry for the kids

ALL of you have called eachother names and picked on a persons weight which is wrong by any standards,it is a non issue you wrote about her making her children hate their father, yet you also call her fat and so what if her husband has to lock up her prescriptions i had to lock my parents up too and i am 42 years old, problem is my mom had 5 yes 5 back surgeries, she has been given pain pills since I was 15 and her accident happened, then my dad was dying and she would eat his, it was her addiction she loved my dad very much and heloved her as well, people with back problems, I might add i have had multiple surgeries myself on my lower back due to an accident( not my fault) an I too take pain meds, the only reson I think I don't abuse them is I was a nurse for a long time until I got hurt.

Attacking this mothers weight in a posting is just mean, I have gain a few paounds too but I still only weigh 138lbs, but it due to the not being able to work out, becuase back pain is intense andit DOES inhibit your mobilty,People that have had back surgeries are going to be on some kindof medication the rest of their life, that can't be helped, but basically the name calling and fighting , your kids are hearing all this and do you thinkit is right todo that in front of them?! of course not. So as I read through these postings I thanked God my husband and I when we argue we have a rule NOT to do it ION FRONT OF THE KIDS OR INVOLVE THEM IN ANY WAY.
if child support is owed then pay it for crying out loud, but all you are doing by attacking eachother is hurting those poor kids. they hear it and they love both parents ( even if they won't admit it)i would suggest you all hit the hearest family counseling center before you ruin those kids' life or deprive them of a parent they love and need and learn to blend your family, insteadof hurting one another, I might ask what have you accomplished with all the name calling and hatred? I will tell you you have hurt innocent kids thats what.For the brother in law: did you really think you were going to help that little girl by saying the things you said? She has enough NEGATIVE INPUT now, you should start giving her positive input, fact is this couple divorced becuase THEY didn't get along, dad should be paying support if it is owed, and she shouldn't have to jump through hoops for it, and dad should be there for his kids as well afterall, you divorced eachother , you didn't divorce your kids.

And the new wife, should never, ever, bring her weight into it, it has nothing to do with the fact this is these kids dad may owe support, it is just a way to hurt his ex.i don't understand what you get out of that, except more negative input for the kids.

This is awful

Shame on all of you. No matter your relationship with your ex your children should NEVER be part of a money dispute. My ex is VERY responsible and never in 16 years has he missed a payment but when we disagreed about raises in child support that was between US not the children and us. I may not like him a whole lot and he may not like me but we support each other for the sake of our children and raise our children to RESPECT your elders and especially your family. You people are airing your dirty laundry like poor trash. You all belong on Jerry Springer and your kids belong in a better home being taught proper values that apparently none of you learned when you were young. I heard somewhere someone once say, "You have to love your kids more than you hate your ex." You all could learn A LOT from that statement.

Now I'm going to go hug my kids and thank god that I have cable so I can see you all when you get on some trashy talk show.

Just A Note From Someone who Cares!

Hello Sharon, I Look within some of the articles on various sites. Want to type few words in here, I try my best to understand all post I read. I'm not really smart in a lot of ways myself for most of my life. Everything from here too there is being recorded by not just our computers. There is this place with the largest computer that was ever designed. It records ever deception from the smallest to the greatest. Anyone that would want to know this will desire it. Deception is and has been the earth's greatest pain. We all will pay the price of knowing, but not acting under our individual knowledge.

"WE ALL TRY OR DO WHAT WE REALLY WANT TOO!?

WOW

Nick,
You are totally missing my point when I asked why you have not asked any questions. If you do not know Sharon or Rich then why would you automatically assume she is correct? That is what I was saying. I could careless who is sympathetic to whom. The major problem here is all the fabrication and the fact that these children are not hearing the truth. Like I said from the beginning three sides to a story. I never said she committed fraud I merely stated that there are people that are out there to defraud taxpayers. Look if people need assitance I am all for it. We all have to be accountable for our life choices.

To all,
We really need to ask ourselves what has this accomplished. I do not see anything positive that has come out of this. What was the real agenda here when the first blog was posted. This is not a question I really care to for an answer on because as we all see everyone is bashing and nothing has been accomplished. I thought by responding and telling another side to this things might have been looked at more objectively. I agreed with Sharon that she should get what is owed. I did not name call or bash. I do not have a problem with people seeking assistance I merely pointed out that she had the opportunity for child support right from the get go and she still would have received help. Why wait if things were so tough. Good for you that you are not in the system anymore. There are many people out there that are try to play it and commit fraud.

Sharon,
I just for the life of me cannot understand why you would continue to need assistance right now if you and your husband are both working whether part time or full time. Again, I am not looking for a response.

I did look up the staute and i am not representing Rich I just talked with my friends about what they need to look for and make sure they have everything they need. Stop acting like you are above all and come back down. I never attacked you personally by calling you names. Did I? NO. Well I do have a great job and I am just a friend who will be there for Kelly and Rich just as they have been for me. We do not have to agree on everything that is the beautiful thing about true friendship. I wish all the children involved the best of luck. I am sure this will continue on forever based on this whole ordeal. All I have to say is thank god my children have the family they have 2 biological parents and 2 significant other adults in their lives. As far as i am concerned they have 4 loving parents and lots of aunts and uncles blood related and non blood related to share all the good and bad times with. Who could ask for more!

Best of luck!

You Guys IS THIS WORTH YOUR CHILDREN SEEING THIS?!

The hatred between all of you is really something, no wonder those kids are angry, with all this attacking by the mom, (even though I agree with her on quite a few things)the new wife, the sister in law or whatever sharon is, and the brother in law,

Can't you all just stop for a minute and think about what is best for your kids?! PUT YOUR DIFFERENCES ASIDE FOR 5 MINUTES FOR THEM?! You are their mother and yes, you should receive finacial help,but not all the extra weight issues drug issuse and sexual comments.
I might add which ever one of you posted the drug and sex thing BRAVO! You did a great job on that one for those poor kids, regardless of what YOU think of thier mother, you had no right to say things like that, where they would have acess to it.

Also the brother in law, why are you defending this action of name calling and belittling, to protect your brother?! IS THAT WORTH HURTING YOUR NIECE AND NEPHEW?! SAME GOES FOR SHARON!
The new wife, you had better hope that marriage lasts or you will be sounding just like this woman someday, if, in fact he isn't paying what he should for those kids.

Also, we have heard from everyone else defending this dad, why? becuase he can't speak for himself.For the record, I lost my dad last summer due to emphseyma, and it was a crueling death to watch and I had to care for him, that is just plain wrong to disrespect the dead, they aren't here to defend themselves.I would never let my kids hear anyone speak any evil of my father.So that had to be good for them too! Why don't you all stop name calling, and start thinking about who you are really hurting here, and dad I suggest you do your own talking. I would also be heartbroken if my kids didn't speak to me and I would do everything posible to make it right with them, but honestly all this stuff is about all of you the adults, not the kids, the kids are learning name calling and hatred are how you handle things and thats not fair to them.I think the new wife should butt out since she has nothing nice at all to say about these kids mom and let their DAD handle it.
The mother and father have to learn to not do this to them, these postings are hateful and full of name calling and just deal with the issue , if he owes you money get it in court, but all this is doing is pitting one child against a parent, unfortunatley, we do not get to choose who are parents are.The parents have to be the adults here and communicate without arguing and the whole family jumping into it.AFTERALL, there were ONLY 2 people that made those kids and 2 people who should be trying politley to do what is best for them.
One more thing

Nick is kind of my cyber friend and he is a really nice guy,maybe you don't like what he has to say , but thats what these postings are for to get responses and hopefully better idea on how to RESOLVE your situation, and he really doesn't deserve a bashing either.Please for your kids's sake stop with allthe hatred and find a way to communicate with eachother without making them hate one parent.Someday that one parent might be all they have left to lean on.Also, please note I am not trying to bash anyone on here, I am just trying topoint out a different prespective,

As for the braces since the children required two sets ( it doesn't matter why they did, and it is done)I think that each parent should each pay for one set that would be fair, invest some time into getting along and compromising for those kids's sake.

Because it's a typical problem!

Kathy said:
Nick, You are totally missing my point when I asked why you have not asked any questions. If you do not know Sharon or Rich then why would you automatically assume she is correct? That is what I was saying.

Because statistics show that the majority of fathers do not pay the required child support. And instead of saying, "yes he does pay", Kelly pretty much admitted it, made excuses and defended the indefensible. Did I assume? Yes. I still have nothing to judge by, except that her house has a lien and boy, is she mad about that! I'd be torked about that too, but that doesn't take away the fact that he still owes support.

She never said that he did pay what is owed, and she never said that she SHOULDN'T have to pay. Most of her posts have noted that she is skeptical about where the money is going. That's no defense, and it doesn't matter. The end result is that he is not paying. That's why I assume she is correct.

Kathy said:
I never said she committed fraud I merely stated that there are people that are out there to defraud taxpayers. Look if people need assitance I am all for it. We all have to be accountable for our life choices.

Okay - quick review here.

On 3-30-06, you said:
but why should he pay all the money back to Monterey because you made the decision to sit home and leach off the system.

On 3-29-06, you said:
Suck it up lady you live in housing that is funded by HUD. Which we all know means you pay a discounted rent thanks to the rest of us hard working single mom's who do not use the system and FRAUD our fellow tax payers.

If you "never said she committed fraud", that's a sure clever way of "merely stating" so! D'oh!

Kathy:
Look if people need assitance I am all for it. We all have to be accountable for our life choices.

Me too! I agree! That's why I think the parent who takes care of the kids should have every right (and support, even from dopey strangers like me) for getting that assistance - and holding people accountable.

Kathy:
Sharon,
I just for the life of me cannot understand why you would continue to need assistance right now if you and your husband are both working whether part time or full time.

Now YOU are missing the point of child support. She is entitled to ask for child support, and the court has granted that. The law requires that dads don't leave their kids and not pay, and a good society wouldn't permit it. In California, you can be put in jail for it.

Would you rather I took the position that guys can marry women, have kids and then leave whenever they want and disappear? There are a lot of guys like that. I think that's low class.

Unless Richard gives up his parental rights and Sharon's new husband adopts them, those kids are Richard's responsibility. Am I wrong?

It got REAL quiet in here when I asked, "Well, how much does RICHARD think Richard owes"? And when could Sharon receive assistance?

I'm willing to switch sides if someone can prove a case rather than make rotten sexual accusations and fat jokes. Good gawd, that in my mind is a "guilty woman's" response. What does Richard owe, Kelly? Let's hear it.

Ruth:
Nick is kind of my cyber friend.... and he really doesn't deserve a bashing either.

Ruth, you're A-ok in my book too! :)

Heh. Actually, yeah I do. I don't mind if they call me to the carpet - I stuck it out. I'm an independent opinion in the thread. I AM surprised that it was the women that were demanding why I was sticking up for a woman. With "Father's Rights" groups popping up and making some outrageous claims of their own, I figured a man calling a man to pay his responsibilities would be met with some criticism. I was surprised at how much I received.

I still think it's the right position to take. You make kids? Then support them. If it was Richard that was taking care of the kids and Sharon being a deadbeat, I'd be verbally slapping Sharon. Taking care of your kids is your priority, and yes, even if you feel like you're paying someone you don't love anymore to do it, it's still the right thing to do. The problem that non-living-with-the-kids ex-spouses have is that they are too proud and selfish to pay for their past because they're looking so hard at their new future.

THAT is pathetic. Your kids is not "your past". They are your future.

The kids didn't send you across the nation, so they don't have your time. But at least make sure the person that IS taking care of them has your support, and doesn't have to beg, borrow, keep track of or steal to make ends meet.

It's not hard to piece together the "third story" based on the first and second, and unless there is some pretty damning evidence against Sharon (that I missed between all of the 40oz/fat/pills insults), or a reason Richard should get out of paying child support, I think my initial assumption was correct. A lein from the government on Kelly's house isn't a good enough reason to not support your kids.

just a question

I just have a question for everyone who is not part of the family. how can anyone make comments about this without knowing everything or being a part of it from the beginning. i am not trying to make anyone mad, but this posting was silly. everyone has an opinion but no one but the mother, father, and children should be involved. that goes for anyone who has taken law classes or whatever. i just feel for the kids cause i know what it is like to be thrown between two feuding parents and that is what this is supposed to be about. no one seems to care about these 2 kids, who if kelly is to be believed, are living with a crasy person. if that is true, then you should have gotten custody or even asked for it. that you didn't makes me wonder. stephanie and steven i know how you both feel and hope for the best. both of the sides need to work this out for the sake of the children. thanks.

Thought it was done?

You stated earlier that you were done. I knew better due to the fact your inability to let anything go including Rich. I am a persistant person myself but really like the idea of peace, quiet and the neighbors and I thank you for giving up on the screaming matches. We all appreciate when your trap is shut.

Peace and quite

Yes, last night was very quite, got to spend time with my kids, pay bills, just be myself and be happy with my children.

Upon reading the last e-mail about the kids braces, you don't know what you are talking about. Not only two sets of braces apiece, but oral surgery too. Now lets get this straight. You are not their mother, even know them or me. Start a blog of your own called Support Richard and Kelly, they are such wonderful people. Then start another blog called Hate ALL of the Women Who have been on AFDC, have made it off, and are advocates for getting what is due to their children. I am sure that the Mothers out there who are sucess stories and did it by themselves, along with the help that they qualified for, would love to hear yours and your family and friends opinion.

I have two wonderful children who contrary to Kelly, Michael, Vanessa (never met her), Kathy, whom obviously doesn't know CA law, (they make courses for that if you are interested in representing him in court on the 18th) and the other people who love to bash. Stefanie is only allowed to voice her opinion any way she likes when it comes to that side of the family, she is a loving and wonderful honor roll society, she has been published in the book as well, 4.0 grade point average. Steven is getting the help he needs with his school work through tutors, myself, and his counselor, teachers and OUR family. I have a job that I love, and am very good at. I have a family, friends, and co-workers that support me in getting what the children deserve by law. Even though I do have the e-mail that Richard has sent to my HR department to try and get me fired, and the statement by my benifits department as to the misrepresentation of Kelly Ryan.

If the paper work is not to your liking you may call the doctors offices and obtain copies of the bills that have been paid and the payment forms that were made. The payments weren't made by you but by me. I will supply you, yet again, with the copies and how the breakdown is done, but since none of you know how to read what an accountant does, then you may have a problem reading it.

All of the paperwork is in order for court on April 18, 2006 and I hope that you are there on the telephone as you have requested. The child support will be set to guidelins, providing that you have DONE the paperwork this time. You will be responsible for getting Medical on the children that I can actually USE in my area. You will be help accountable for the uncovered medical costs. These are all facts that will be discussed in court.

Until the court date!!!

Response

Good God woman can you at all stick to the facts.........

You cut and paste an e mail that was a response to your sending me links to read your blogs about dragging Rich MY BROTHER, through the mud..... The e mail that was a third one on my part to tell you to stop sending me stupid things to my email.....And yes I said it would get ugly and sure enough look at this blog... so full of hatred and no real progress in your plight to get Rich to respond....

You are hell bent on letting everyone think we did not contact you for all these years, but in fact again a mistruth on your part no one but Rich had anyway to contact you, and he was not always able to contact you throughout the years either. I seem to remember me wanting contact many years ago and even driving 24 straight hours to meet my niece, even if it was just for an hour before you guys had to get to the airport.

You in my opinion you are not the best parent in the world, but let's face it who really is. I really do have issues with how your children treat adults, yes as I said let them have an opinion but you as the parent can and should also teach them to be respectful of adults and all people for that matter. And all people should include their father no matter how they feel about him he is their biological father and weather he has been the best parent or the worst parent in the world no one should talk to anyone the way your daughter speaks and writes to anyone. I am all for them sticking up for you, after all they have had you as the constant in their lives all these years, but remember not by anyone's choosing but your own. My issue is with the lack of respect they have for adults and how you allow that lack of respect to occur.... You can have an opinion about people with out being disrespectful, foul mouthed, punk acting child. Wouldn't it show more parenting on your part if they could make their point and still maintain some decorum while doing so. Would be curious to know how the therapist feels about the hatred and disrespect, because I know no therapist that would condone that kind of behavior, the feelings to be let out yes but not in such away as to disrespect all who cross your path.

I love the way you address only questions that you feel like addressing, although I must say I really was only asking in the rhetorical sense, as I knew how you would respond. The point I tried to make was that you have only placed your side of the story out for all to see, and even with all the traffic here in defense of Rich; still there is only small pieces out there of his side of the story. You ask why he does not respond to this? Ask yourself this, could he really win here?

The whole story will come to light one day! Your children will one day know their father and they will know that some of your side was distorted by the hatred you feel for Rich, and I know that they will still love you for the Mother that you have always been for them.

As for our family working...Let's see Michael and Vanessa are in business for themselves, so they can set their own hours, and if you notice the time (All listed in Pacific Time Zone) they wrote it was in the evening when they wrote. Kelly works and so do others that have posted on this site, remember there is more then one time zone. And as for me I only work on the weekends... And Rich well he hasn't responded here, my guess is because he thinks it is a waste of time. After all nothing can be settled in a blog on the internet can it?

One more thought for you before I close this up, you said a few blogs back that you would not respond anymore......my guess is that anger and bitterness gets the better of you and you just have to address things you do not agree with. Am I correct?

My last piece of advice to you is to follow your heart and have your day in court.... win or lose you only have that as an option since the two of you can not negotiate. Good help the judicial system the day the two of you get before a judge.

PS.... No thanks on the cookie, I am on a diet.

Okay, well that's better. More info is good info.

Kelly said:
The fact remains for the last couple of years she gets on a role where she will call my house, sometimes every night, not to talk about the kids or doctor bills but to talk about when they were married and ask for pictures of him (again, not for the kids)

Sharon? What's up with that? I could see if it was about child support or an emergency with the kids. But you'd have no other reason (well, in MY mind) to call him. You're divorced.

Kelly said:
Wouldn't any of you get aggravated of the continuous phone calls to chat about other issues than the kids?

Sure. I would. The relationship is over, and both parties have moved on. What on earth would Kelly and Richard OR Sharon have to talk about BESIDES the kids?

Kelly said:
Was it mentioned that I recently came into money and offered him to give Sharon 20,000 and she refused. She didn't want my help? Why would I not be fed up and aggravated?

Wasn't that $20,000.00 a settlement for all the past child support owed, that Sharon says was already reduced by $50,000.00? I ask because you're making that sound VERY generous, and you never said what Richard owes Sharon if he was to settle up in full from YOUR view, Kelly.

Kelly said:
She did call and tell she us needed $500.00 for glasses but now it's only 226.00?

Even I don't spend $500.00 on glasses, contacts AND the eye exam in a year. What are you buying? Geoffrey Beene? Prescription Oakleys?

Kelly said:
She never asked for child support until she found out about me and his new life.

BUT

Kelly ALSO said:
When ten years ago or so she started to call about settling child support I still stayed uninvolved

Is that a conflict? Have you been with Richard for 10 years? Sharon, how long have you been divorced?

Kelly said:
Oh, more one thing, when he was at that job for nine years, he had medical, never used. Medical that could of covered some of these bills that are in question. If you have extra medical, secondary policy why would someone not be intelligent enough to use it?

Sharon, if that IS true, then you need to go back and get those bills paid by insurance. Match the date of service to the dates Richard had insurance. You can probably still submit some of those claims and maybe bargain with the collections if you have them calling. Otherwise, they will be on YOUR credit report.

Taking the kids to the doctor, claiming no insurance in order to get your ex to pay cash to you is NOT the right thing to do, either. That leaves you an opportunity to barter down or go to collections (or your insurance) and keep the difference. Since I don't know you, I have to say: People DO that stuff, I can't just dismiss that because Richard is in the rears. You should work WITH your ex to collectively call the claims department and get those claims paid.

I've never had $11k of mouth work done in my life, and that's including a surgery and injury. That figure just seems so high, I have to question.

Sharon, it begs to ask: Do you actually price shop, or do you just "assume the cost" on whatever service and price, thinking that you're only responsible for half? That leaves Richard out of the equation beforehand, yet expecting him to pony up when the bill comes?

He owes child support, not half of whatever you ring up at the register for the kids. Sharon, THAT is also a fact of life, of which I don't disagree. You can't enslave him for everything you buy for the kids and demand half.

There's a HUGE difference, and as much as I stand behind my original opinion of Richard, Kelly does have a legitimate point:

You have fuzzy math.

Paper and pencil bills don't work. The courts recognize that you can just write anything you want. That's why bills (originals or copies) are better.

Why don't you buy a printer/scan/fax/copier for the COPIER feature (around $100) and send copies of the bills? Kelly or Richard could then pay their share, and they'd have a copy of the bills they did pay with their canceled checks. It would keep you BOTH accountable, and give you both actual numbers to work with and keep track of.

I think there might be hope for you guys. I don't buy that "this is a lost cause" line. You guys MUST work it out for a few years longer. What would it take to do that amicably?

I'm interested from hearing from BOTH of you:

How far is Richard behind?

The Truth times 2

Okay Kelly let's go over this one more time, since you obviously aren't going to let this rest.

1. Setting up of Child Support
Gave him a break the first time of 50,000 off of the arrears that he owed for child support. Will not bargain the kids, child support it to be set at guidelines.

2. Raising of the children-
If he didn't like the way that I have raised the children, then he should of taken me to court and had them taken away from me.

3. Stefanie's trip to Washington DC. Only 1 (one) money order for 40.00.

4. Picture-the kids wanted to know what he looked like, but they didn't want to talk to him. He misunderstood, I know what he looks like don't need a picture from him.

5. Time difference. So sorry for calling late and keeping you awake.

Both of you out of work-get a job, take care of your responsibilites.

2. Frustration on my part. Not getting child support. By law I am supposed to be receiving child support. Answer-get a job.

3. Yes he did have a good job for 9 years. Can you count how many times he actually called to speak with the children, no you can't because he called maybe half a dozen times, in 9 years. No birthday calls, no christmas card e-mails or anything, until this year.

Want to see his kids: Solution-He make a trip out here to see his kids, has he ever, no he hasn't.

4. Owed more than 20,000 at the time. Condition with taking the money drop lien on the house, which by the way Monterey County didn't even have it on record that he owned a house. Once verified, lien placed on house. Instead of getting caught up on his back child support, family took a trip to swim with the dolphins. Didn't take care of his obligations. Now you are pissed off about the lien.

5. Past medical-I was told by Richard that his attorney told him that the braces for the kids were cosmetic and that he wasn't responsible so he wasn't going to pay what was agreed upon. My mistake for actually believing anything that comes out of his mouth. Now that he is being held responsible for it, he wants to hire an attorney. Go ahead, explain to the court of why the paperwork wasn't completed on his part and how he can afford an attorney now.

Today, I got to go bowling with Steven, where I am the secretary for the youth bowling league, he averaged a 150. Helped Stefanie with her stock market project, did a lot of talking with both of the kids about the court situation. If you or Richard wants to know what we discussed call and speak with them. Cleaned my house, paid some more bills. Watched Steven ride his bike, thanks for remebering his birthday, also gave Angie the kid's birthdays, never heard a word from her, what else would be new though, no one in that family ever remembered before.

Just keep dragging this out Kelly, how about this. Mind your own business, let Richarch actually speak for himself or are you the spokes person for your household? Looks that way to me. He owes the money to his kids back here, that is the fact. He is responsible and will be held responsible in court. Now I can keep the blog going as long as you can, but just for my own sake, I am just going to cut and paste this last one.

Have a good weekend.

Can you guys JUST TRY TO BE CIVIL FOR THOSE KIDS PLEASE

Okay, I noticed that the new wife couldn't help herself but get another STAB in, and Nick is right in alot of things he said, if people need assistance thats what we pay taxes for, and I would rather see someone with 2 kids have a roof over their head whether or not it is HUD,And to the new wife, THAT IS REALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, JUST ANOTHER WAY TO JAB AT THE EX.
Someone asked what have you accomplished here, I will tell you, as an outsider, (since your inner circle refuses to be civil) you have managed to make those children suffer more than they already have, do ANY of you realize how hard divorce is on a child and THEN adjusting to a step parent(s) that hates, absolutely HATES the bioloigal parent?
recently, a close family memeber in our family got divorced , we loved their spouse very much, they agreed to be civil, and they are even though they both have someone else now.
My youngest son is 9 and very close to the little boy in the divorce, they are broken hearted when we have to seperate them, the things I have heard from my son about how that little guy feels about his mommy and daddy divorcing are so sad, he breaks my heart. AT LEAST he doesn't have to put up name calling/sexual assualts on the mother/drug accusations etc.BUT none the less, it is hard on those kids, the other one is a teenager and deep down he is in his own hell, over it, now they are trying to deal with new spouses.
God forbid they have one like kelly, saying horrible things about their mother on top of the pain they are already in.
Like I said before you have accomplished NOTHING but hatred on this blog, and for all your kids to see, and wife #2 saying all those horrible things about mom, I suppose her past is lily white and how would she like it if someone was saying all that nasty stuff about her, for her kids to see? I doubt she would like it very much, THEIR father should sit his wife down and for HIS KIDS SAKE make her stop insulting those kids mom and stay out of it.
In fact doesn't dad care what they see and hear about their mother? The mother should also stop with the attacks on the father in front of the kids as well, do you think that is good for them? The must feel like pawns in your little war, and I don't think that feels very good to them.
Another thing Nick is 100% right about, TOO many dads out there do not pay child support and if there is a lien on your home then you do, in fact, owe this mother support and she should have it.
Kids are not weapons, they have feelings and like it or not they may be mad at dad (mom you should try not to bash on their dad to them either)but deep down, he IS their father and they do love him. The step mother comes off as pure mean and full of hatred, and why? Becuase the mother wants child support OWED to her? You knew he had children , so therefore, you knew there was going to be a child support order, so by marrying him you ASKED for that, still, this is an issue between mom and dad not you and the kids.I sure wouldn't want my children to read posts about sex for 40 ouncers, etc. that was COMPLETELY UNCALLED FOR ESPECIALLY OUT OF AN ADULT AND A PARENT TO BOOT! ALSO, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. God help these kids if you guys do not learn to handle this like adults, dad call the new wife off, and cease with the nasty remarks, and mom, let the courts handle the child support issue and quit bashing on dad as well, remember the most IMPORTANT THING HERE IS YOUR KIDS! and you should REALLY try hard to keep these nasty things that are being said AWAY from them , they have nothing to do with the child support, they are only remarks to hurt or cause more animosity and nothing else.Remember, how you handle this, is going to be teaching YOUR kids how to handle it if they ever divorce. I simply cannot understand why the dad lets his wife go off on mom like that in front of the kids, it isn't her business it is his, and like I said before, if she ever divorces him she could be riding the same canoe and how would she like it if the next wife pulled all those nasty remarks and stunts on her, that she is doing right now to the mom, the shoe could also end up on the other foot.
So Please, instead of thinking about yourselves and your next nasty remark, think about those kids involved, they are watching, learning and listening.Handle this like adults and stop going around in circles accomplishing nothing, but hurting your own children.BOTH PARENTS SHOULD WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR THEM, and the stepmother needs to be a little nicer to the mom, you have gotten your point across you hate her, now let their dad handle his affairs like an adult and quit with the nasty remarks.Those kids love their parents and you shouldn't have married a man with kids if you weren't mature enough to handle this
without the nasty mudslinging , you are, afterall, those kids stepmom and you yourself have an example to set.

THE TRUTH...

Hello again everyone. I would like to say that now I will tell some of the story. You ask why I am mean and say the things I do? Let's start by saying it all started years ago. Yes, I was aware of the fact he had kids and was previously married. I for years told Sharon it was between her and him, I wished no involvement. I was polite to her as a normal individual. When ten years ago or so she started to call about settling child support I still stayed uninvolved but she continually would call at extremely late hours of the evening sometimes yelling and screaming therefore keeping the whole house up. She wanted the support and I have never said it is not due to her. She has raised the kids, not the way I agree but it is her way. The fact remains for the last couple of years she gets on a role where she will call my house, sometimes every night, not to talk about the kids or doctor bills but to talk about when they were married and ask for pictures of him (again, not for the kids) When we were both unemployed a couple years back his daughter had a trip to go on and we send some money orders, granted it wasn't a lot but the effort was there. When we do send gifts, it's not good enough. Wouldn't anyone get discouraged after a while? Wouldn't any of you get aggravated of the continuous phone calls to chat about other issues than the kids? Then sometimes she would get her panties in a knot and decided to argue and fight, then the phone hanging up and calling back would start, sometimes for days. We won't get our number unpublished due to the kids. Although, they want no contact maybe someday they will.

One conversation the daughter was forced on the phone with me crying why she was mad at her father, something he said and as a child she misunderstood. I was a child that came from divorce and I know it is difficult, thank you I don't need pointers or anyone to tell me what it is like. I also, at that point stated to Sharon she was wrong to put her on with me and put her in the middle. It was not fair to the child to speak with me in tears about what when on with her and Rich.

He was unemployed and if anyone who like the classified from that time I could send them. He worked at a very good job for nine plus years and paid his child support and back support as agreed. Was it mentioned that I recently came into money and offered him to give Sharon 20,000 and she refused. She didn't want my help? Why would I not be fed up and aggravated? Put yourself in my shoes, wouldn't you be? Don't judge me, I could write for hours about everything but don't have the time right now.

I just wanted everyone who has thought and asked about my side what has gone on. Again, he was paying his child support and as for medical back bills from 1998 until now they were never brought to full light. She did call and tell she us needed $500.00 for glasses but now it's only 226.00? There were never any bills to back these claims up and they were asked for. She never asked for child support until she found out about me and his new life. Now, don't judge me I never said those kids deserved nothing. Then when the child support became an issue, it was resolved between the two of them and started being paid. Anytime he has got a new job, he told her where and she would even call his employment even before his start date and constantly contact his work, even though he would always make sure to give proper paperwork. As for being mean some people after years of aggravation, resentment and the fact he was held from those kids brought out a side that all others have deep within. See if you have dealt with the constant BS I have for years. (Again, not to do with the kids.) Please, don't get the wrong idea it was not jealously because if he wanted to be with her he would have went back. Don't think he wasn't asked many times. Some of these things had to be brought to light.

Remember, I experienced divorce too from a child's perspective and not was it always pleasant, I was never held back from any family, the way it should be. Just because you as parents are divorced the family shouldn't be divorced as well. Is that right for all concerned? Is it right to inform the children of everything that goes on, to let them get on a site like this and read all of it? To be told their father is nothing but a sperm donor since the time she left him. His side of the family did try to make contact but Sharon wanted nothing to do with them.

Oh, more one thing, when he was at that job for nine years, he had medical, never used. Medical that could of covered some of these bills that are in question. If you have extra medical, secondary policy why would someone not be intelligent enough to use it? The coverage was a company that is nationwide? Why not bring to his attention if there was a problem with it? Whose stupidity is that?

THE TRUTH...

Hello again everyone. I would like to say that now I will tell some of the story. You ask why I am mean and say the things I do? Let's start by saying it all started years ago. Yes, I was aware of the fact he had kids and was previously married. I for years told Sharon it was between her and him, I wished no involvement. I was polite to her as a normal individual. When ten years ago or so she started to call about settling child support I still stayed uninvolved but she continually would call at extremely late hours of the evening sometimes yelling and screaming therefore keeping the whole house up. She wanted the support and I have never said it is not due to her. She has raised the kids, not the way I agree but it is her way. The fact remains for the last couple of years she gets on a role where she will call my house, sometimes every night, not to talk about the kids or doctor bills but to talk about when they were married and ask for pictures of him (again, not for the kids) When we were both unemployed a couple years back his daughter had a trip to go on and we send some money orders, granted it wasn't a lot but the effort was there. When we do send gifts, it's not good enough. Wouldn't anyone get discouraged after a while? Wouldn't any of you get aggravated of the continuous phone calls to chat about other issues than the kids? Then sometimes she would get her panties in a knot and decided to argue and fight, then the phone hanging up and calling back would start, sometimes for days. We won't get our number unpublished due to the kids. Although, they want no contact maybe someday they will.

One conversation the daughter was forced on the phone with me crying why she was mad at her father, something he said and as a child she misunderstood. I was a child that came from divorce and I know it is difficult, thank you I don't need pointers or anyone to tell me what it is like. I also, at that point stated to Sharon she was wrong to put her on with me and put her in the middle. It was not fair to the child to speak with me in tears about what when on with her and Rich.

He was unemployed and if anyone who like the classified from that time I could send them. He worked at a very good job for nine plus years and paid his child support and back support as agreed. Was it mentioned that I recently came into money and offered him to give Sharon 20,000 and she refused. She didn't want my help? Why would I not be fed up and aggravated? Put yourself in my shoes, wouldn't you be? Don't judge me, I could write for hours about everything but don't have the time right now.

I just wanted everyone who has thought and asked about my side what has gone on. Again, he was paying his child support and as for medical back bills from 1998 until now they were never brought to full light. She did call and tell she us needed $500.00 for glasses but now it's only 226.00? There were never any bills to back these claims up and they were asked for. She never asked for child support until she found out about me and his new life. Now, don't judge me I never said those kids deserved nothing. Then when the child support became an issue, it was resolved between the two of them and started being paid. Anytime he has got a new job, he told her where and she would even call his employment even before his start date and constantly contact his work, even though he would always make sure to give proper paperwork. As for being mean some people after years of aggravation, resentment and the fact he was held from those kids brought out a side that all others have deep within. See if you have dealt with the constant BS I have for years. (Again, not to do with the kids.) Please, don't get the wrong idea it was not jealously because if he wanted to be with her he would have went back. Don't think he wasn't asked many times. Some of these things had to be brought to light.

Remember, I experienced divorce too from a child's perspective and not was it always pleasant, I was never held back from any family, the way it should be. Just because you as parents are divorced the family shouldn't be divorced as well. Is that right for all concerned? Is it right to inform the children of everything that goes on, to let them get on a site like this and read all of it? To be told their father is nothing but a sperm donor since the time she left him. His side of the family did try to make contact but Sharon wanted nothing to do with them.

Oh, more one thing, when he was at that job for nine years, he had medical, never used. Medical that could of covered some of these bills that are in question. If you have extra medical, secondary policy why would someone not be intelligent enough to use it? The coverage was a company that is nationwide? Why not bring to his attention if there was a problem with it? Whose stupidity is that?

I cannot beleive this!!!!

Yes, I have said that, a couple of postings back, that it would be my last, but the response is just crazy.

I surely expected to be bashed by the family of Richard. I am not surprised at all. To the whole Santerre side of the family-thanks for all the fat jokes, 40 oz., pill comments, my mental state, and also my parenting abilities. I am on a nerve medication called Nerontin-look it up if you like, for the nerve damage that has been done. I don't suffer from any of the side effects because my doctor keeps track, and I have regular blood tests. Sorry though, you can't access my medical records, they are not open for public viewing. But thanks for all the concern that has been shown here on this blog for my health.

Where was the Santerre family after my divorce? I anitiated and got the divorce without any response from Richard. He never once answered any paperwork, and still continues not to answer any paperwork. If anyone is wanting to actually look up the case, because the case is a public record, it is case # DA 23891/FSD 04838-A. You can call Montery County Court house-ask for the records department and get copies. I have nothing to hide.

The only reason why this wasn't completed on the last court date, the one Richard claims that he never got, was because the judge asked me to detail it out, and I did do that as I would do it for my own job. Not the kind of accounting that was wanted by the court. They required just a simple accounting, not the seven pages that I supplied them with. So now it has been compressed into one page. Just a very simple accounting.

Nick-I don't know you personally or anything like that but thank you. You sound like a level headed person and I appreciate your responses.
Kelly-I am over Richard, have been since I left him, his responsibilites still remain the same, he owes and since the kids are not legally old enoght to fight for what is legally theirs by law, than that leaves me. Don't attack my weight, or my family, I bite back, you don't like the choice of words or screaming, don't send me weight loss crap or attack me in e-mail or blogs, I too am a very persistent person, as you well know. But you insist on speaking for him. Now we will let the court speak for him, unless you feel like hiring an attorney here in CA to represent him, like he has already stated to the Monterey Count Child Support Division office. The he can explain it to the judge on how he can afford to pay for an attorney but not his child support. In CA they are very strict on child support issues.

Thank you Nick-even though I don't know you personally. Your support as being a man and actually sticking up for a women's right to collect the child support that is due to her children should be commended. I to am very happily married, to a wonderful man, contrary to what has been posted here.

As I have stated before, and I really don't want to post anymore to this, I have work to do with the non profits that I work with. But I feel that both parents should be held accountable, financially and emotionally (although in this case it is just financially, because the children want nothing to do with that side of the family. Angie you could of callled?? But you didn't, your loss. Whether you agree or not, is not the point, pay your child support. If you want the lein taken off of the house then pay the child support you owe in arrears, but you will also have to pay Monterey County what is owed to them because for 7 years you didn't pay child support or offer to help out financially or emotionally that is why I went on the AFDC system.

If there is another posting from Kelly or any member of the "family Santerre" who wants to say anything more about me, I will be happy to answer you back. If you don't want an answer back then don't leave a blog, even if you put you don't want an answer, but are asking a question, I wlll respond. I started the blog and I will finish it.

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!

Anticonvulsants/Mood Stabilizers
These drugs were initially used only for seizure disorders. The following anticonvulsants are now prescribed frequently in the treatment of bipolar disorder and other selected forms of depression:
Carbamazepine (Tegretol®)
Divalproex (Depakote®)
Gabapentin (Neurontin®)
Lamotrigine (Lamictal®)
Topiramate (Topamax®)

AN INTRODUCTION TO BIPOLAR DISORDER
(The information provided on this site should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease. It is not a substitute for professional care. If you have or suspect that you have a health problem, you should consult your health care provider.

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive disorder, is a condition that affects one's mood, emotions, and behavior. This section will describe the common symptoms of the disease, but bear in mind that there are a wide variety of clinical presentations of the disorder.

A person with bipolar disorder experiences mood episodes. These mood episodes can include depressive episodes, manic episodes, and mixed episodes. During depressive episodes, individuals usually experience sad mood, diminished interest in usual activities, and disturbances in sleep, appetite, energy, and concentration.

Manic episodes typically involve either extremely happy or irritable mood, accompanied by other changes in behavior, such as increased activity, decreased need for sleep, grandiose thinking, and racing thoughts. Mixed episodes involve the simultaneous occurrence of depressive and manic symptoms. Sometimes individuals with bipolar disorder experience psychotic symptoms (such as delusions and hallucinations) during the mood episodes, but these psychotic symptoms go away when their mood returns to normal.

The duration of mood episodes typically lasts from a couple of hours to many months. Between episodes people with bipolar disorder often return to their usual functioning and personality. Some people with the disorder can enjoy healthy, stable mood for many years between episodes, while others rapidly go in and out of mood episodes almost continually, while still others experience mood episodes at frequencies between these two extremes.

In the current popular diagnostic classification system (DSM-IV), a distinction is made between bipolar I disorder and bipolar II disorder. People with bipolar II disorder have so-called hypomanic episodes, as opposed to the full-blown manic episodes experienced by those with bipolar I disorder. Both hippomanic and manic episodes involve the same symptoms (e.g., elevated mood, increased activity, decreased need for sleep, grandiosity, racing thoughts, excessive involvement in pleasurable activities, etc.), but there are several important differences. The most important difference is severity; that is, hippomanic episodes themselves do not cause significant distress or greatly impair one's work, family, or social life, but manic episodes do disrupt these things.

There is some evidence that there might be some common genetic causes of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. This is not too surprising, since there is symptom overlap between the two disorders as well. Specifically, some people with bipolar disorder experience hallucinations and delusional ideas during mood episodes, while individuals with schizophrenia also can have these psychotic symptoms. Also, many people with schizophrenia experience episodes of manic or depressive symptoms.

It is the timing and overlap of mood and psychotic symptoms that differentiate these two diagnostic categories.

Treatment for bipolar disorder often involves a mood-stabilizing medication, such as Lithium, Neurontin, Depakote, or Tegretol. Those individuals with bipolar disorder who also experience psychotic symptoms might also be treated with an antipsychotic medication, such as Haldol or Zyprexa.

Therapy, support, and education about the illness are also important elements of a good treatment plan.

hoping that someone from RICHARD's family or Richard himself will update us after the court date coming up.

I would say I'd like an update from the original poster but frankly I'd like a truthful update with ALL the facts..........

Richard - Please know that despite what your ex has taught your children it is never too late when it comes to your kids. Sooner or later they will start to figure things out and come to you for answers. When that time comes, please be honest with them about any mistakes you have made and do everything in your power to not bash their mother. They will respect your honesty and appreciate your efforts to not shoot down their mom. Then the healing will begin. I am sure you probably believe that any hope of having your children in your life is gone but it is not. As long as they are still on this planet there is hope. Best of luck to you.

This is a soap opera but the mother is entitled to support

I have been following this for awhile. I just wanted to add my two cents. The tides seem to have turned on Sharon but the fact of the matter is this.

She is and was entitled to child support. As the legal guardian of these children then she is the person that can determine who can and cannot visit her children. Grandparents do not have to pay child support but she does not have to let them see them either. Especially if she thinks that they will not follow her wishes about the children's activities.

All of us want what is best for our kids. I think. I don't have children so I don't really know but I have been on the side of the child and know more details about this than I should due to my parents jobs and discussions. It is not unfair or unreasonable for Sharon to ask the father to contribute extra to pay for extraordinary circumstances. Life doesn't come in a neat little package of the estimated cost of raising a child is this. This number shall not be exceeded. What about things like Prom and first car, dance lessons, school trips, shouldn't both parents pay equally for that? Don't we want children to have those memories?

For the Grandmother, I assure you, making disparaging remarks about your grandchildren's mother will do nothing to ingratiate them to you in the future. Consider this. I don't speak to my paternal grandmother because she was rude to my mother and treated her with disrespect in my presence when I was 5 YEARS OLD. I am now 28 and will not invite her to my wedding or attend her funeral. Be careful of the way you treat the sole caretaker of your grandchildren. I know you don't have responsibility to pay for the kids but think of it this way (speaking from experience here, so pay close attention), you send a gift to the kids, thats great but what if the mother is struggling to put food on the table or needs to buy school supplies or they need new clothes. The money would probably be more helpful than a new toy and the kids would probably respect that you are trying to be helpful.

Everyone keeps making comments that she refused the 20K. She is within her rights to refuse 20K. She is within her rights to refuse anything that is less than owed. Remember that money is what is going to be used to pay back AFDC. I don't know about you but I am tired of my tax dollars being used to support children because the father does not.

It is a ridiculous comment to say that contacts are a luxury. Take this from a person who used to wear coke bottles. No child should have to be forced to wear them any longer than necessary. Braces are cosmetic (Another ridiculous statement), sure until you are the one being called bucky. Quite honestly, I don't know how anyone can ever deal with Wal-Mart optical. Optical is still a part of the body. If Sharon has chosen a doctor that she wants to continue to use for her children's eyesight then by all means go for it. Remember people, eyes have a medical history too. It is better to stay with one doctor who can monitor the changes from year to year in your vision than to switch because it is cheaper.

Kelly, Right now you are fighting vehemently about this case. My advice to you is to remain neutral. You are the stepparent. Don't get caught up in something that affects you on the periphial. Yes it sucks that there is a lien on your house. I say get a divorce and leave this headache. You probably didn't know you were signing on for this. You inherited this problem but it is not fair to attack Sharon because she is trying to do the best for her kids. Think of it this way, would you want anything less than what is owed to your child? About Las Vegas, Would you want to go on vacation with someone who has repeatedly said you have mental problems, are fat and a bad parent to boot? You are within your rights to do whatever you wish with your money. If I were your friend, I would go on vacation with you. Her loss, my gain. I give you all the credit in the world for even offering your inheritance money but remember this, we all have choices. You chose to date a man who had kids from a previous relationship. That does not go away once he meets you. Be the voice of reason in this whole conflict. My stepmother was and I thank her everyday for being the neutral person that she was.

Sharon, this is for you. I understand how this process works probably better than most. I can empathize with you on a lot of things except one. At no point should you have ever entered into debate or commetary with the new wife. Let this man get on with his life with her. She does not owe you anything. She is quite honestly an innocent bystander. Child support does not mean, he suffers for every injustice he did to me, including leaving and being happy with someone else vengenance money. It means money to help support your children. He still has to live and eat. Yes she has made some disparaging comments to you. But to attack her lifestyle is not your place.

Refusing visitation to the children's father is also not a fair or just way to deal with this situation. Especially your daughter. My parents did not always get along but the relationship that I have with my father is the most valuable thing in the world to me. You may not see the value in this but there is something to be said about Daddy's Little Girl. Every relationship that your daughter has in life will be affected by the fractured relationship that she has with her father. I believe you are doing the right thing by fighting for what is owed to your children but at some point one has to also be the adult and do what is best for the children and not for vengenance. I would rather have a monetary deadbeat Daddy than a emotional deadbeat father anyday.

The judgement get laid down...

How Quick one can judge when it comes to children and deadbeat parents and it is sad that pity is being requested on this platform. As i read more and more of this drama it drove me crazy.

To Richard and his family, I know exactly where your coming from!!No one is perfect, and its ok to be a late beat, sure as heck does not sound like a deadbeat to me.

I do not care for women who use the system and like it even less when the children have their heads filled with rage and hate about the non custodial parent. Let the kids have their own opinion about their father. My mom tried to do that to me and guess what, I still talk to my dad even if its only once inawhile. Remember, when the kids decide they want to sit down and talk to their father, you will need to answer to the lies and deciet you filled their heads with!!!

I think there need to be major reform for non custodial parents, I think there should be some sort of non profit org that can help non custodial parents with child support, who are making an honest effort to make things right with their kids. Good luck to you Richard and your family!!!!!

Kimberly

I honestly agree with most of what oyu said , but there are a few things I would like to point out,
1. BY HER OWN admission, he faithfully paid supprt for 9 years until finacial trouble hit.
2. sharon calls and rants and raves , also, by her own admission all hours of the day and night,she should refrain from calling unless it is to speak with Rich about the children only.
3. She slammed on kelly just as hard.
4. she encourages her children to swear at adults.
5. NO ONE said she wasn't entitled to or didn't deserve the support.
6. Grandma doesn't get along with Sharon, so should the children really be used as Sharons pawns?My son would be deprived of a wonderful loving situation with his grandparents , she may very well be a good grandmother and I did not get the impression she would "bash" the mother if it meant not having contact with her grandkids, the sister in law as well.
7. I AM DADDY'S little girl and make no mistake there is nothing like daddys love, I lost my father recently and thought I was going to die from losing him , the pain was unbearable, Sharon does not allow Rich to see their kids, she has by her own postings, sabotaged every attempt he made.
8. GIFTS ARE GIFTS, they are given out of love, and becuase you mean something to that person, Sharon doesn't say she can't feed them and she does get support, he was just having finacial trouble at one time and she used it against him.My grandmother (bless her soul) ALWAYS said even if you get a gift you don'tlike , that person didn't have to give it to you, so be grateful they thought so much of you they took the time to shop all the while thinking of you.
9. The trip to vegas, Kelly stated that Sharon and her husband were free to gamble to go out and spend some "alone time" with eachother at HER expense, that meant that Sharon didn't HAVE to hang out with them, they just wanted to see the kids.
10, The settlement (if she was so money tight) would have paid alot of bills, and it was generous of Kelly to offer it, but she is married to a man who has prior kids and she recognized that when she offered the trip,( to see the kids) and the money, they are maried their income is as one. Unfortanutely for Kelly she didn't bank on Sharons bitterness.

Also I would like to state, that Sharon has condoned her MINOR childrens swearing at the adults, (that cross her mother)if you read her own posting then you are aware that she help the grndmother accountable for calling her a f-ing b, yet she swore that and many other names in that posting, so she too is guilty as charged.The Grandmother stated and Sharon did not deny that she was talking to Sharon, as well as the sister inlaw, until the refused to BASH on Rich.I believe that if a man pays support, he is ENTITLED TO SEE HIS KIDS she cannot use them over HER anger.That is exactly what her own postings reveal, it took postings from the family , first she states no support at all, no b-day , xmas gifts or cards etc,THEN, the family posts and it comes out yes, he paid support for 9 years, yes I am calling them all the time, and yes they have sent gifts BUT SHE wants money. the gifts are for the children NOT HER, and she has no right to delegate money only.

It became clear by posting HER own poting then emailing it out for all to see that she left out very pertintinent information, until Richs family spoke up. It becomes clear HER HATRED for Rich remarrying and jealousy is thr driving force behind this and not child support.That is why people turned on her, she went from making this guy sound like they never tried to see the kids, pay support, or send gifts, to being called out and then not being able to deny that he DID in fact faithfully pay support, and send gifts. I think Sharon is the one who cannot let go, and to take a child and let it swear at adults and drag them into a NASTY support issue between adults is wrong.

At first, i really felt for sharon but the more facts that came out and her whatever he does is not good enough attitude, and her enjoyment in telling her children rotten things about their father,is only a way to get back at him for moving on without her, those kids are all she has as weapons and it sounds by her postings she is using them full force, I cannot imagine my child swearing at anyone much less an adult and a mother not correcting them, that they shouldn't swear and no matter what they think of that person, they are adults and the child should be respectful, Sharon has used her kids to hurt their father and in my opinion she should cease and desist from doing that. She has conflicted her own postings and while i agree kelly should never call her names or bring her weight into it, thats irrelevant,but Sharon has gotten her licks in too, it would be better for the children to hear positive things about their fathers family, and left out of ADULT BUSINESS and it is immature of Sharon to use them as a weapon to hurt thier own father, the hatred they have for him clearly , again, by her own postings comes FROM HER HATRED OF HIM, and personally, if my ex- paid support for 9 years and then had trouble, I would have been more understanding,she can't wait to pounce.I never got anything from my 2 childrens dad, and I never ever spoke evil about him to his children, I let them form their own opinion, I made sure they had what they needed, not depended him. As the mother with custody that was MY JOB.She has no right to judge the gifts they choose to send,and she went from not sending any at all , to they aren't good enough, I think that if Rich offered her the moon, she would find SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT.He is allowed to move on with his life and fall in love and Sharon should pay more attention to HER OWN marriage than his.She is a little to preoccupied with their marriage and life than she is her own.

Angie and Dianne are finished

Hello again Sharon.

Let me just say one thing for the record....
NO ONE is upset because you went to court, no one has even implied that.....
WE are all upset at your attempt to paint yourself as a hero and Rich as this monster. Your simple mindedness about posting you thoughts of Richard and this family on this website is what we do not understand.
You went to court and before anything can be decided or is finalized you took it upon yourself to "drag Rich's name though the mudd"..those are your words. I can cut and paste from E amil but figure I do not have to as you know as well as I do that you said it.

The responses here are not what you were expecting, you wanted only sympathy and when you stop recieving it you stopped posting....

It took us a while as we tried to keep the info accessed here to the world to a minimal, but we started to respond with facts that you omitted. and when people started to get a better picture of the whole truth, you just got angry.

NO I do not think the weight comments are neccissary but you have pushed people for to long. I do not care what Kelly has said to you, the fact is she got angry and started to act the same way you have acted for years. They have been pushed too far and this "blog" was the last straw. this was a way to give you a littel of what has been dished to them for years.

This is the problem as we all see it..
You filed court papers and couldn't wait for the results before tring to stir up this campaign to smear Rich and Kelly.

You should have waited until the results were in from this whole court thing to start your little one sided blog... And if you did not want our opinions or our side of the story out there, why send us all the links to find this blog... You could have easily just had your little one sided fight with yourself by not forwarding us the links.

Not that you care but this has taken too much of a toll on my Mothers's health right now to continue with all this..... You have fun with your continued fight......... To all others, Nick, Ruth thanks for all the kind words and support for the whole truth.. I am sure Sharon will continue this fight long after the results are in from court, but as for my self or my Mother we are done here, I will however continue to periodically check this site for any new postings from you but for the sake of Mom's health, the 2 of us are done.

Yes I am still here

I have not responded in a while, 4/5/06 was my last posting. I had bargained for the response and the hatred that has come from Richard's family and acctually it was expected.

Thnaks for the im's from Dianne and Angie and thank you, yet again Kelly, for my weekly phone calls about my weight, and the changing of your e-mail so that you could get through with all the weight loss centers. That was the day that Stefanie left you the cursing message and my husband phoned and told Richard he was and F****** A******. Now, how inmature can you be for attacking my weight, attacking my daughter, your step-daughter (ya that really makes her want to have any contact with you, Richard, Michael, Vanessa, Angie, Dianne or anyone else that decides to crawl out of the woodwork on that side of the family).

An update on the court situation. Richard has asked for a telephonic hearing and it is set for May 16, 2006. That was the soonest date that was available. Maybe this time he will actually have his paperwork done so the judge can look at it and set everything to guidelines as it should be set. I hadn't asked for the case to be reopened or reviewed since 1998 and every year from now on the case will be reviewed every January until Steven is of legal age. By law this can be done.

Richard has never come to CA to see his kids, he has never taken me to court to even get the visitation changed. He has always had that option but has never done so. Now that I have reopened the case he is upset, or rather his wife is upset and so is the rest of the family. They only have themselves to blame but if they must find a person to blame for their shortcomings in never keeping in contact or acknowledging the children then blame me. No a Family Vacation with you guys is not an option that the children want, or for that fact an option that myself or my husband would want. I still have no clue as to why you would ever think that would happen? If Richard wants contact with the children he has to follow the court orders, that is the bottom line.
For everyone who is keeping track, I am on my lunch hour responding.

Have a great day, and I will post agian after the court hearing.

Angie

Please hon, keep your mom off this site as I stated before I was a nurse and stress can cause so many bad things, I agree Sharon is one sided leaving out pertinent information, especially regarding HER own behaviour.I know none of you deny dhe owed support, but I do think she is passing her hatred down to the kids, and i do think as well, whatever you and your family do is never going to be good enough, leaving out the faithfully paying support, and no gifts and no cards was pertinent information.There were gifts but they weren't what SHARON wanted, by sending links of this blog to your family clearly shows she is OUT TO PUNISH not seek justice.

Dianne, angie please tell your mom she is not a victim i know there are other mothers reading this and thinking 9 years of faithful support and for years my kids dad never gave a dime, what is she complaining about. She purposely left that info out as it makes Ric look like he cares he IS paying support.

I stand by my previous postings that gifts are gifts and she has no right to delegate who gives what to whom, becuase afterall, the gifts aren't for her, and it is the thought that counts and they did not HAVE to send anything at all, I personally, think it is rude of her to request money , when she IS by her own posting receiving support as I write this.

She comes off here as to hurt Rich for being happy But I do think for all involved kelly should bite the bullet on the wieght remarks.It just adds fuel to her fire, as for her child swearing and her condoning it or dragging them into this,( which gives her great satisfaction Iam sure that she has her kids hating all of you ) that makes her a victim to them as well as a hero, mommy is fighting for us, you get the idea.) well swearing out of a mInor is wrong, and I have to wonder what her MORALS are to let her children speak that way and condone it. I pray that someday for your family's sake those kids realize maybe when they have kids that their dad did love them enough to make sure thier mom got support for them.Until then keep sending the gifts YOU want them to have , try to be there so the kids when they grow up don't think you gave up on them , she will surley jump on that one. Dianne I wish you the best, and you need to let this go if you are stressed okay? let Rich handle Sharon as she is not worth your being ill for. I wsh you guys the best, and most of all for those kids who have been brainwashed by their mother, keep trying for them.Dianne get some rest and don't let this get to you time will take care of it, the kids will turn 18 and at that point Sharon willbe removed from the situation, as they will be adults.I will pray for you and your family good luck and take care of yourself , you have your own children Dianne, and no matter how old they are, they are concerned and need YOU, so please for them calm down it'll work itself out I am sure.

To all that have contributed, supportive and non-supportive

I do want to thank everyone who has contributed to the blog. I also have my own website for custodial parents who need help and information. It is a non-profit group and I enjoy helping the people out there who are looking for help.

There are those of you that think that I am harsh and don't teach my children respect, or manners. This is just not true, because you don't know what goes on in someone elses household, and you don't know me personally.

I have started this site becuase it is important to me. Please feel free to respond to it, there is a link to the e-mail address. Also take the time to read my bio. It describes in detail what has gone on for the past 14 1/2 years since my divorce. I have all of my court papers scanned, so everything in my bio is accurate.

For those of you who are able to get along with your ex and actually have a good relationship I applaude you. I wish that was the case for me but reality is it is not.

The reason why I have not replied or responded in a while is that yes I do have a life. I have a full-time job, two kids that are involved in activities, homework projects, and I do help other custodial parents and it is a great feeling to be able to help someone else. Regardless of what anyone here thinks of me you don't know the real me, or even know me,so take the time to visit the site, send your feedback.

CLICK here to see why Rip-off Report, as a matter of policy, deleted either a phone number, link or e-mail address from this Report.

Sharon and Kelly you two have a lot to get over without involving the kids

I really think after reading your posts you two have a lot to get over without involving the kids, I will agree with Kelly, that involving the children in fights and child support issues only adds the their grief of losing a parent. As for the bi polarism, my brother has it and yes i know all about it I was a nurse as well, so sharon I do think maybe some of your symptoms have come into play ( though not your fault you are in fact medically ill)

As for the b- day cards and gifts, be honest kelly, Rich could have mailed them something regardless of what Sharon says, there is hate being bred into these porr kids, and I find that extremely sad.

Also Sharon staes she took her son bowling and discussed these issues with him, so see Sharon you are bringing the kids into it too, and you could have just said "honey don't worry thats between me and your dad, we BOTH love you very much even though we don't show it the same way"
I can't believe Rich doesn't care at all for his kids, BITH of you admit that he is paying and has paid some support, and Sharon can i ask you WHY you reused a settlement 3,420.00 cheaper,I might have the EXACT AMOUNT WRONG 20.000.00 was pretty fair , I would have taken that as the 20,00.00 unless, what you say IS TRUE and they offered it to DROP the lien on their house.That would be using the kids for balckmail which is wrong.

Nick is correct, as a nurse, I do know you can submit medical bills that were covered at that date and be compensated for them, I did it alot for my in home patients that had demtia and forgot to send them in, so you could recoup some of this money there.IF he has medical coverage even now you should be using it , his children divorced or not are HIS DEPEDANTS BY LAW an dhe can get them covered.

Many times in these postings i heard BOTH of you say these children were crying and upset, do you ask yourself why, parents are divorced, andnow they are fighting cats and dogs and bvrining US into it. One should NEVER ,EVER BAD MOUTH THE OTHER PARENT NO MATTER WHAT, I was married before I met my current husband for 3 years I had 2 kids by him, he ran from state to state as to not pay my child support order, but never once in all those 19 year ( 3 years ago he blew his BRAINS OUT IN FRONT OF HIS NEW WIFE)This man would drink and beat me to a bloody pulp , I was in critical condition 3 times, after the 3rd time I feared he would not only kill me, but the kids too in a drunken rage, so I packed up and left, (my father , I lost him last summer,)told me "Ruthie, if someone loves you, they don't want to hurt you, they want to protect you."he was right and I never went back , but when my kids got older and we told them that my current husband was not their biological father(I have been happily married now for 23 years to this wonderful man)they asked me why i wasn't with their real dad, don't get me wrong they adore "their DAD" I simply told them it was because WE didn't get along, andit had nothing to do with them, that een though mike never called or came to see his kids he loved them in his own way.I could have tood them about the beatings I took, but what would trashing their dad accomplish, nothing, absolutely nothing, but hatred for him.I tried and tried for years to collect the child support I was owed and i got in 19 years 189.00 from his estate.Now someone else told my kids what he did to me and why I left, a family memeber of mine, but it wasn't me, and I was furious with that person for it, theynever knew about the child support issues becuase marc and I ( my current husband) made sure they had what they wanted and needed in their life, so they never even knew how much or that he never paid.That meant sometimes MYSELFand myhusband working 2 jobs, I was aschool teacher/cook ( to get benefits on the kids I had to take the kitchen job) then I faced budget cuts, but I did my nursing atnight at least that was stable.You see what Iam tryingto say by exposing my life like this? the kids don't need to now they are dealing with so much peer pressure at school, and now a mom who has a legitimate illness, and then mom and dad fighting over US, Kids of divorce, as kelly should know often blame them selves for the divorce, and hearing mom and dad fighting OVER US, confirms that to them. This is strictly and ADULT MATTER and Sharon, for your kids sake no matter what Rich does or doesn't do, owes or doesn't owe, don't go into this with them even if they ask, and Don't call their house either unless it pertains to the children only and they are out of ear shot.kelly put Rich on the phone when she calls you really don't have anything to say to her and she should be talking to their father, just hand him the phone when she calls and if he isn't there get caller ID you do NOT have to pickup the phone if it is her and Rich is not home!You already know you are going to get into a fight.You can stop that by avioding her calls and forcing Rich todeal with HIS EX not you.Kelly you should never ever hold BI- POlARISM AGAINST A PERSON, THAT IS A MEDICAL CONDITION AND THATS IS JUST MEAN, YOU KNOW SHE HAS IT AND YOU KNOW SHE MAY CALL IN THE NIGHT RANTING, MY BROTHER DOES THAT TO MY MOTHER, AND YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW SHE HAS IT AND IT CAN SURFACE, YOU YOURSELF LISTED ALL THE SYMPTOMS.DON'T PICK U THE PHONE IF IT IS TOOLATE AND SHARON YOU SHOULD REFRAIN YOURSELF FROM THAT. YOU KNOW THE TIME DIFFERECE, YOU STATED IT YOURSELF, SO YOU HAVE To BE AWRE OF WHAT TIME YOU ARE CALLING.

I really have hopE for you guys if you can get past the fighting and hopefully, some of the damage you adults have done to those children can be repaired. This has gone on for years and yet nothing constructive BY BOTH OF YOUR SAY SO has ever accomplished anything.Except hurting the kids.Sharon, calling and screaming is getting you no where so encourage your kids to love their father, and not hate him and all of you refrain yourseves from bashing on eachother in front of those children.kelly you can use sharon as an excuse for not sending cards or gifts but thats just that an excuse, mail those kids something. Why didn't you guys ask Rich's kids with that 20,000.00 to swim with the dolphins with their FAMILY too? AFTERALL THEY ARE YOUR FAMILY, Right there you and Rich told them you are a seperate family. Thats enough money to send for them, and Sharon, I would encourage you to talk them into going to see their father and have a relationship with him despite YOUR feelings.i really hope you guys work this out, I get Rich has paid support faithfully, I get that sharon calls and rants and raves and I also get kelly insults her every chance she gets too, so see it all of you adding to the problem and not just Sharon, Rich, or Kelly and quit playing the balme game, if Rich owes her money then he should pay it, they are his kids too, BUT MOST OF ALL DON'T GO ON THE WAY YOU ARE. JUDGING FROM WHAT I HAVE SEEN ON HERE, BY BOTH OF YOUR SAY SO, YOU BOTH SAID, THOSE KIDS ARE IN TEARS, you don't have to like eachother, but you can be civil and work this out.WITHOUT MAKING THOSE KIDS CRY.They wouldn't cry so hard if they hated their dad or mom or even you kelly , they love you thats why they hurt.Get counseling if you need to , but be constructive andconsiderate of those kids.

Until the court date

You can talk all the mess you want to about me. When I left him it was for good. He has never attempted to come and see his children. There is no way that I would allow my daughter to travel across county to see her "father" when she was 12 years old due to the fact that for 9 years, since she was 3 he never wanted to see her or deal with child support, I don't care if the almighty himself sealed the papers that she would come back home, it was not going to happen. He never exercised his custodial rights and would do the paperwork, that is a fact.

As of now, the children want nothing to do with him, you or anyone in that family!!! Can you read?? Saying that he was glad her grandmother died and happy they were divorced sealed the issue of the children wanting contact. Retaliation-happy his father died. Tit for tat. It has been said and it can not be taken back. If you want to discuss this further, do it in person with me on April 18, 2006 at 8:30 am at the Monterey Court House.
If you, as being his loving wife, want to Pay for his irresponsibilities her are the figures:
$16,346.35 in arrears

233.61 in current medical

5,411.26 in back medical (this is the amount for court on the 18th)
Grand total $21,991.22 I don't accept personal checks. That would take care of what he legal owes. Then he wouldn't be a deadbeat.

TRUTH PART 2

Sharon,

First, I again not denying the fact of child support even though you would like to continually beat that into the ground. Yes, that is what a court system is for if you feel your not getting your fair share for the kids.

As for the trip to Washington, I believe it was two money orders or did you not give her the second? But again it was a rough time for us and we did our best. We did not ?cheat? the kids intentionally as you think. You're the only one who can have it rough? No one else here can.

As for me speaking for him, it has now become my business (though I really wanted nothing to do with it) You over and over again claim how he has hurt the kids but it's ok for you to call my house and bash him in front of my daughter? Again, you're the only one who is ever right about anything?

Speaking on the subject of being right, it is ok that for years when he asked to talk to the kids you wouldn't let him? If he tried to have contact with them or his family no one could?

As for Steven's birthday we didn't forget, once again you told him the kids wanted nothing to do with him and not to call the house or you would bring him up on harassment? Now, your trying to make us look like the bad guys (all the family) to the kids because you pull this all the time? After this little game is pulled then it is rubbed in his face about not calling. Why try you get on the phone, listen to the conversation, if you let them talk at all. Has that been mentioned? All the times he has talked to the kids you listen or call the next day ranting and raving how he didn't have a proper conversation?

You seemed to avoid the one of the statements. You did not answer about asking Richard back all those times but yet he is such a bad person and father? Why would you want him back?

As far as wanting to see the kids he wants nothing more, I do believe a couple summers ago we offered to have Stefanie come here and you said, no. She even wanted to come. We even said we would go to an attorney to draw up legal documents because you were scared we wouldn't let her go home? How insane would that be? See it's wrong unless it's your way. Nothing can be done right unless it's done your way?

Thank you my trip was very good too. I made an offering out of money( I received from the death of my father), some of the money that I thought should be put to a good cause. I will tell you I am glad you refused after I see the perspective you have on life and dying. You allow your children and yourself to believe it's ok for someone to have a horrific death because you have issues with Rich? That is a question I want answered!!! Not a song and dance about how the kids can say whatever they want about this side of the family. So be it are you happy about your mom passing since you have no regard for human life? Again, it's ok if you do it but no one else better. You really are a one-sided individual. Maybe that has got you along in the past. Again, as you have told me before, you don't want my help, not my responsibility. Yet, you keep dragging it up for me to take responsibility? Which is it?

How is Rich a deadbeat if he paid the child support for all those years? That is another question I want answered!!! You keep claiming he is a deadbeat to all these people and wanting them to pity you but he was paying? Yes no one denied the fact he owes back support. Again, you have left out the fact he is working and paying his support again? Remind me how is he a deadbeat?????

No, I won't let it go, I told you I am a persistent person. I have been pushed by you for way to long. Again, you can the only one who can be right?

Speaking of being right, the other night on the phone you stated Gary and yourself were going to come to Ct to visit. Rich offered directions and the fact he would give directions to our house and your comment was you were bringing a shotgun? How stable are you? Good thing your on medication but I think for your own sanity you should be re-evaluated. Again, that was right to say in front of the children?
HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME AT THE BOWLING ALLEY.

Sharon, pretty sad that you have never sent pictures of the children

I would like to add a couple of things to this whole saga of yours.

First, I never wanted to get in the middle and you made sure you had contact when it was good for you. When I have had contact with you, you wanted to Rich bash and he is my son. I was not going to be put in the middle of your problems and was not going to take your side on any of these matters, in fact because he is my child those maternal instincts you claim to have for your children kicked in on my side. Or are you the only one who has those maternal instincts?

I would have loved to have contact with the kids, they are my grandchildren after all. You made sure that unless we would agree with you that none of our family could talk or have any contact with them.

Don't pull this song and dance we had your number, we did not always have your number. Also, I might add this is a two way street you had our number and you knew how to get a hold of us. After all that is the original contact you made with us years after he left was when you found Dickie's name in the phone book and thought it was Rich's number. We never told you that your calls were not welcome I simply would not agree with you so the calls stopped. Funny how that works. Similar to this ?blog? you have created, agree with me or don't post a rebuttal, I think that is how you put that in one of your rambling Rich bashing statements.

This past Christmas you were friendly and were anxious to send pictures so I could, after all these years see the kids and what Steven looked like. After all you never sent but one or two pictures after he was born or did you forget that.

I think it's pretty sad that you have never sent pictures of the children to us but the only contact you wanted with us ended when we would not give you the dirt on Rich and what he was doing and who he was with. I did say that correctly you wanted only to know who he was with and about what he was doing. And in fact when offers of gifts were brought up you always said and I paraphrase here ?Oh no don't send a bike just send the money!?

Your bitterness and jealously has got the best of you for all these years. Don't you think someone who cares that much for their kids would make sure they were able to contact all their family members? Even now when Rich's sister tried to make contact with the children you only wanted to bad mouth him and could not let any of this hatred toward him go so that your children could know the rest of their family. We do have a strong family and the kids would have been loved and treated very well. It is sickening that they are missing out and have missed out. Look at all the kids in the world who have nobody who really cares.

I would love to be able to have spoken with the kids and speak with them now. Maybe it is to late but you did make sure of that.
Don't play me for a fool and don't play some innocent act that it is my fault and I spoke profanity to you. You have told my daughter via instant message and you never stop telling Rich and his wife that I called you names, now let's use our head here why would I do something like that and jeopardize the contact with my grandchildren.

My granddaughter now tells me that in the last night phone conversation with Rich you shouted that you were glad Rachel's Grandfather was dead, and hoped he died a horrible and suffering death. What kind of a sick perverse person are you?

Do you have any idea how hard a death can be on a very close family, Rachel and Dickie were very close, and for you to allow Stefanie to shout these kind of things over the phone is ridiculous not to mention irresponsible on your part. Rachel also heard the f words coming out of your daughters mouth calling Rachel names and saying all this out landaus things about anyone not agreeing with you.

This is the way you brought up my grandkids? You should be ashamed of yourself to allow the children to speak this way about any family. Whether they want to have any contact or not it doesn't make it proper. I know that your mother passed right before Dickie, did I call your house and say I hope she suffered? No, I am better than that. Whether we have had issues in the past due to the divorce and not seeing eye to eye I still would have never called and said such a rotten, vindictive and cruel thing to you about your mother.

Since it seems like money is the root of all evil as far as your concerned would you charge me to speak with kids? I realize they want no contact but I'm sure if you were offered a couple bucks things would certainly change.

Why did you post all these statements, you must have known that it would create more animosity and not get you what you wanted.. You did know that right?

TO NICK

Nick,

You are correct in the fact when the eyeglasses came up she would only go to an eye doctor, it was stupid to shop around and she didn't understand why people would do that.. I don't know about you but I shop around to save money? Doesn't that make sense to do?

As for what he owes in back support it is a few thousand higher than 20,000 don't know the exact amount as for dollar to dollar. I thought it was better to have 20,000 than none and it would only be in the children's best interest. She also didn't mention Rich was holding a cashiers check in his hand made to her ready to send. She wanted the full amount or nothing.

Because of her refusal we did take a vacation with some friends. After losing 5 family members in 18 months I felt I wanted to do some good. Now does that make me so bad? She insisted she didn't want my help, it's not my responsibility but yet she claims on these ?blog? it is. Which is it? I tried to help my husband out and Monterey County thought it was generous also. As for the lien on the house, Sharon told us if we settled with her, she would get the lien removed. After her refusal Monterey County informed us she had no power to remove the lien.. It was okay for her to get hers and screw the state that helped her as long as she got hers. Is that right?

As this goes on it keeps changing on her part, the real story will eventually come out.

Rich is paying child support currently and back, how is he a deadbeat? He doesn't go from job to job and hide from the system like a real deadbeat would. He always informs her and the county of his employment changes. How is that running? We have lived in the same town for 14 years, she always could get a hold of us. We didn't move state to state, job to job. We do like stability ourselves.

As far as the vacation , my vehicles, properties and bank accounts are not her business. I tried to do the right thing and help my husband but she refuses anything from me. It is never good enough. Now the offer is done and there is no turning back.

Richard will respond after the court date as for his side.

Hi Nick

I did get your response and I will answer to you.

My son has Stigmatisa, color blind, and also a reaction to florecsent lighting (hope I spelled that right that doesn't allow him to read printing on white paper and he has to have a special kind of tint done to his glasses). Last year when we bought him glasses the office visit is 105.00 his glasses came to @350.00, that comes to @455.00(I have to look at the back medical). My insurance doesn't cover eyeglasses for anyone else in the family. For this year Steven's "contacts" (now that he will be entering high school in August came to 364.65 of which Richard is responsible for half of the cost 182.32. For the current year medical he owes 233.61, of which none has been paid by him.

There was a time (between myself and Richard) that we did actually "talk" on the phone. About the kids, how they were doing in school, about the activities that they were involved in, ect. We even talked about how we were both to young to get married and how nice it was that we could finally just talk without arguing. We have been divorced since (legally) January 26, 1993, didn't have any form of communication until June 1998. I had tried to force a relationship to happen with his children back then. But it didn't work, it only upset Stefanie, that he had Rachel, and loved her but why didn't he love her just as much (from my daughters point of view). That about broke my heart to see her cry. I explained to her that we were very young when we got married and it just didn't work, but that he still loved her. Her reaction, if he loves me then why hasn't he ever called why did I (me) always have to call. I didn't have an answer for that. I had phoned Richard and let him know that if he truely wanted to have a relationship with his daughter he needed to initiate it, not her because she already felt alienated away from him. For a while, maybe a month, he would call her on a regular basis, then it stopped. I asked her why she said she just didn't want to talk with him anymore. That was her dicision not mine.
I didn't bother to call him back.

Now we are going to skip way ahea in time to when he got laid off from the job that he had for nine years at Fuel Cells. When he got laid off he didn't bother to call to let me know, mind you we haven't spoken in years again. When I phoned him, he still had the same number and so did I for the past 10 years, he said it would probably be at least 6 to 9 months before he went back to work this was back in June 2004 I beleive. This seems like a rediclous amount of time to be out of work to me. Yes I did call him to see if he had found other work. He was falling more and more behind on the child support. If that makes me a bad person so be it. Both parents are still responsible, bottom line.

When he did finally obtain a job in September 2004 I asked for the address and he gave it to me. By this time it had been @ 6 months since I had received any support from him. I did contact the employer, got the information on where to send the paperwork and contacted the Child Support office here and gave them the information. About a month went by and I still hadn't received any support. I called him at work and he said that he would look into it. When it was finally straightened out I started receiving child support regularly again. Yes we would talk on the phone like civil people and he was even talking with his daughter (tried it agina, and it seemed to be working this time) They would talk on and off and even chat on the internet. I thought it was great, now she can finally have a relationship with him. But she also siad that she really didn't like taling to him, that he was very opinionated and extremely prejudice. I told her to talk with him about it, but she didn't want to. So I left it at that, me and him would still chat on the phone, about the kids, and no I still don't want or need pictures of him!!

Then at the end of August 2005 it had been a couple of weeks since the child support checks had been coming. The last one was on 8/2/2005. I again phoned Richard and asked him why I wasn't getting any child support checks. This is when he informed me that he had quit his job for personal resons and that it was none of my business. I let him have it, he had a responsibility to the children, he had the responsiblity to get a job.

Understandibly I was upset, yet again he wasn't paying his child support. In September @ around the 8-10 I beleive, it was discovered that he actually owned the house him and his current wife, Kelly, are in. I phoned and had child support verify this and sure enough he did in fact by the house on 4/2/2000. According to the recods at the child support office it was down as he only rented the house. On September 12, 2005 he phoned me at work to let me know that he was moving to Florida. I said what about the house, he stated that we only rent the house but that Kelly had received a large sum of money from her fathers estate and she purchased a house in Florida. I told him good luck on selling the house in CT because ther is a lien on it. He started yelling that he didn't own the house they were just renting it. I told him not according to the accessors office. Needless to say he was furious. A couple of days later as I was taking my son to his therapy session, Steven wanted to know why I was so upset. I told him about the child suppoort situation and he got on his cell phone and called Richard. They spoke and then I took the phone and let him have it, I told him that he needed to find a job and start paying his child support. He stated that his wife just handed him a cashier's check for 20,000 and that if I didn't accept the offer then they (his family) were going to use the money to go on vacation to Florida and swim with the dolphons. At the time he owed legally owed @24,000, with the interest that legally the children were entitled to it was @26,000. After the yelling match out side the therapists office I came home and called him again, much calmer, and said that I would be willing to take what was Legally owed, dropping the interest, but he would have to work with the county. I would settle for I think the amount was 23,452.00 and he would offer the county 17,000. The next morning I phoned him back after talking with the Child Support Division to let him know that I told them I would drop the interest that was owed and he would need to work with what the county was legally owed now. The county wouldn't go for the amount that he wanted to pay, no I don't know the figures. So instead of putting the money towards his back child support they went on vacation. He stated that he only had 40,000 to deal with because Kelly was entitled to her money out of the house. So they went on their vacation for a week. He could of used the money to pay his back child support but he choose not to. Needless to say their vacation wasn't quite what it was supposed to be because a hurricane hit, can't remember the name of that one.

So the "war" has been going since then, September 2005. I would phone him, yes probably in excess, regarding the fact that he needed to find a job and that he was falling farther and farther behind. He would say this one looks promising call me back in a couple of days and I will let you know. I would call and he would say he didn't get it. Then another round of phone calls.

In November, by this time Steve was actually talking with him too, he had all this motorcycle stuff that he was going to give to Steven. He would send it out, but that there wouldn't be a lot of stuff for Stefanie, maybe a money order for her. I said that it would be great and he would probably really appreciate it. To make a very long story short, the box never made it here until February 2006. You don't make promises to kids then not keep them.

At the end of January I did get 138.00 after 6 months of not receiving anything. As of now I have receive two checks from his new employer of 137.62 a piece.

On April 18, 2006 we go to court for the past medical. Let me explain the past medical. It is for the fact the fact that the children have both had two sets of braces. My insurance at the time that the braces where put on didn't cover the cost of the braces. I paid the money out of pocket. It wasn't only for cosmetic purposes but also because their jaw line was so narrow there wasn't enough room for their adult teeth to come in. The first set of braces for Stefanie was paid with my income tax check back in 1996 and 1997. For the next three sets of braces, one more for Stefanie and two more for Steven I paid for out of my own pocket, insurance didn't cover it and even when Richard had insurance it was NOT for our area. That is what we are going to court for on the 18th.

I hope that this mini novel here explains how things have happened. I am not the perfect parent, but I have always provided for and will continue to provide and fight for the child support that is due to my kids.

Thanks for the medical update Kelly, but don't need one. I have a sister who is a Registered Nurse and my doctor watches me very closely because of the heart disease in my family and the fact that I do have hight blood pressure and cholestoral. I also take something to help me sleep but that is all you need to know my medical is none of your business. Now that I have written a novel, yet again, I have other things to do.

As of today's date April 2, 2006 he is in the arrears 16,346.35 and owed Monterey county 49,888.28 totally 66,234.63. That can be verified by calling 1-888-313-1563.

TO YOU SHARON

Sharon says:
Legally owed, dropping the interest, but he would have to work with the county. I would settle for I think the amount was 23,452.00.

Sharon also states:
As of today's date April 2, 2006 he is in the arrears 16,346.35

So, 20,000 wasn't enough, it looks like it was more. That wouldn't benefit the kids.
After it was shot down about me helping, yet once again. Why would I offer anymore like you mention Sharon. Pay the back child support? Looks like that would have covered it plus more. Would have paid for those glasses and extras.

Why not take it from me, but take it from welfare? Is it because he never went back to you and stayed with me?

If your going to tell a story, you really should tell the same one every time so it is believable.

Once again I will say no one here states he owes no money. While you were working under the table and collecting welfare you choose not to seek child support or contact Richard so you could go to school on state aid.

Richard and I purchased the house after the child support was being paid and working at his steady employer. The only time we rented was when the child support issue all started. Would you like to verify this?

Sharon:
Didn't have any form of communication until June 1998.

Sharon:
Sure enough he did in fact buy the house on 4/2/2000. According to the records at the child support office it was down as he only rented the house.

We did rent a house at the time of the court documents we rented an apartment and never represented our information to the court. I am sure the courts verified this. At the time we purchased our house the child support was set and being paid.

Again, how is he a deadbeat? He has provided medical except for the time he was unemployed.

We never told her about renting our house the only mention was when we were going to move to Florida, we were going to rent out our home for investment purposes. That seems like smart business to me.

Your math skills and time lines fit only your situation at hand. I guess like I stated in the past that is what court is for.

Sharon, you are not the victim that is trying so hard to seek pity from all, the kids are the real victims, not you.

You have refused from 1998 on from anyone to have contact but once in a while around b-days and xmas just to pull that contact right after.

As for Stefanie being upset about Rachel you drilled that into her, she never knew until you informed her. To only get her upset to cut contact with her father? Does that seem like the right thing to do? Speaking of right things you have involved a minor child in an adult situation that she really doesn't understand and hasn't been given the truth for years.. Again, the only thing you said from the time you choose to leave, which was a ongoing thing you referred to him as a sperm donor. Would a child really want to know or talk to the sperm donor? Once again, nice on your part. Tell the child what you want and you get the response you want.

Usually my first impressions are right on.... Hmmm...

So wait...

Let me get this straight. Never mind what he owes the county, that's between him and the county. Can we all agree that Monterey County will deal with Richard at some point, and really has little to do with this issue?

Richard owes 23K
He had a money order for 20K
Sharon refused because it was not the full amount

Sharon, that was NOT a bad deal that they offered, all things considered. How could you refuse a payment of ANY amount? Unlike all the deadbeats and walk-away "victims" that I have as friends in my life, YOU were offered something. I would say that, ALMOST by default, Richard is not a deadbeat! ALMOST!

You have the right to ask for the full amount. I won't say otherwise. But even a credit card or bill collector would give you 15% off (or more!) to settle an overdue account.

Why didn't you accept that, Sharon? How can you turn down money, and then complain that you're not getting money if what Kelly said is true?

You COULD have taken the 20K, and assuming the remainder was still 3k over, you could have then submitted all the past medical bills to Richard's health insurance and EASILY recovered the rest. And no doubt, had a little extra for yourself!

THAT would have been a win-win situation - You'd get money and then some, Richard would be paid up, and you'd be up to date.

I can sympathize them taking a vacation with the money, I can sympathize with their anger, and their effort if it is REFUSED. A judge probably won't, but I don't think many judges live "in real life" when their job is "the law".

Of course, the right answer would have been for Richard to send it anyway. But now, he can contest the validity of Sharon's claim. Maybe that will bring some perspective to both parties.

Sharon:
Owed more than 20,000 at the time. Condition with taking the money drop lien on the house, which by the way Monterey County didn't even have it on record that he owned a house. Once verified, lien placed on house.

The condition of dropping a lien would be the decision of Monterey County, the filer of said lien. You don't have the power to drop a lien. If you do, then please explain how you would go about doing that. I need an answer here, because I have a lien on MY house from not paying a HOA special assessment. I'd like to see if my wife can use your formula so that I can get someone else (her) to remove the lien that someone else placed on my house by paying my wife in full for something.

(grin)

Sharon:
Past medical-I was told by Richard that his attorney told him that the braces for the kids were cosmetic and that he wasn't responsible so he wasn't going to pay what was agreed upon.

Wait a minute - 20K was offered! Richard IS requried to pay child support. Like I said, you can't just enslave him for half of whatever the kids need. He has a right to lead a normal life after he pays his child support. He also has a right to make more money than you as long as he pays his fair share - which is decided by the court. Why do you keep making outside agreements outside of the court order? AND getting mad when he DOES give extra? That "nothing is good enough" comment from Kelly is beginning to garner merit.

Oh wait.. I'm getting ahead of myself here.

Sharon:
3. Stefanie's trip to Washington DC. Only 1 (one) money order for 40.00.

And Kelly states at that time, he was out of a job. Unless "trips for the kids" was stipulated on the court order, why would you expect ANYTHING?

It's not part of the court order for child support and half of medical AND vacations, is it?

If he DID agree on "above and beyonds" AND paid, that would impress me. Verbal agreemends don't mean squat. Court orders do. And extras like that, thought small, do show class on his part.

Kelly said:
You keep claiming he is a deadbeat to all these people and wanting them to pity you but he was paying? Yes no one denied the fact he owes back support.

Well, in all fairness, no-one CONFIRMED it, either, until recently. You didn't say much to the contrary in the beginning. As for my position, what was I supposed to think? Had you said, straight out of the gate, that he paid for 9 years, I'd have cut him some slack. *I* was under the impression he didn't pay from day one, or at least, several years. Sharon left that important detail out, and only now is it surfacing. That's why it wasn't adding up when you said Richard sent support, she called him a deadbeat because a $50,000.00 bill doesn't just appear overnight, so please at least appreciate my perspective. I only see what you show me, and what I saw was name calling and bickering.

You guys were doing that "woman bicker" stuff instead of laying out the facts. :)

Quoted:
Father is to provide the court with an update of all Medical expenses not covered by Insurance (1) one week before the hearing

But many of those medical expenses ARE covered IF Sharon would use Richard's medical! Half of a co-pay is $10.00 in most plans, + 20% of services, if the insurance is worth its salt.

Maybe optical ISN'T covered in your area. But why aren't you submitting the medical that IS covered, Sharon? Kelly noted that NOTHING was ever submitted. (How you know that, Kelly, is rather unconventional - please explain)

Kelly:
You are correct in the fact when the eyeglasses came up she would only go to an eye doctor, it was stupid to shop around and she didn't understand why people would do that.. I don't know about you but I shop around to save money? Doesn't that make sense to do?

YES! I go to Wal-Mart optical. (Ruth - heh heh heh! It's true!) Go figure, I'm cheap that way. And if money is such an issue for Sharon, she should ALSO be budget conscious, if not for common courtesy for her ex-husband, for HERSELF.

But she's buying glasses AND contacts. That's not medically necessary, I don't care WHAT the ailment is. In fact, many optical ailments discourage contacts. But either way, it's a LUXURY to have both, and here I am defending Sharon for trying to keep food on the table. I sense some shenanigans are afoot here....

Sharon:
So the "war" has been going since then, September 2005.

7 months IS a long time for no child support. But if his record was pretty clean and he is worthy of having steady work, then he'll have to pay it back. But that doesn't make him a deadbeat.

A "latebeat" maybe. :) (you heard it here first, folks!)

Kelly:
Why not take it from me, but take it from welfare?

That WOULD be welfare fraud if welfare was chosen over 20K, because 20K would not only disqualify you for welfare AND likely HUD assistance, but you'd probably have to pay some of that 20K BACK to the gub'ment. Again, you (Sharon) didn't mention this before.

Kelly:
While you were working under the table and collecting welfare

That would ALSO be welfare fraud. Where were you working under the table, Sharon? (Kelly - no army barracks jokes from YOU either!) So many surprises, all in one day! Hooray for teh intarweb!

Please tell me that someone is going to post the transcript of this court hearing.

Finally, regarding the kids...

Well, let's just say that I'm not the "sensitive type". (can you tell?) I'm not about to get into feelings and thoughts of people I don't know. But suffice it to say that kids aren't dumb, they DO see through the bull$#!t that adults toss at them, and they will eventually see you for what (and who) you are.

Vows of silence....

Is everyone going silent?

You couldn't get a word in edgewise a week ago.

In Response to Nick

No I am not going silent on the issue. The fact still remains that he is "behind" as you put it. I have gone down to the court house this morning to make sure that all is in place for the court hearing and everything is in place.

The facts are:
-I was on AFDC.
-During such time, Richard didn't pay child support
-County wants their money back for helping me support the kids. I didn't sit around and do nothing. I worked as much as I could and received the education necessary to get off of the system.
-He is in arrears and owes back child support not only to his children but also to the county that is the reason for the lien placed on the property. That is why Kelly is so upset, also because now she can't send anymore weight loss things to me or have them call my cell phone, next best thing to do attack me on the internet.
-All of his family will always agree with him. That is just a fact. They can stand behind him 110%, the fact remains that none of them would have any contact with the children even though Richard has the address and telephone number.
-Things were said that can't be taken back between him and his daughter. She will never forgive him and neither will Steven. I don't blame them. They are entitled to their opinion.

The day in court is coming. As of today there has been no filing from him on the case. From past experience with him, 99.9% of what comes out of his mouth is BS. If I am such a bad mother then why not file to have joint if not sole custody? The answer to that question is that I am not a bad mother, and I will continue to fight for child support rights.

Now his family will respond yet again on how I should of taken the money that was offered back in September out of the kidness of Kelly's heart. That was not the amount legally owed at that time and I couldn't remove the lien.

Any more questions and I will be happy to answer.

Ruth and Nick

I tried to post last night and it didn't..

I would like to first say if Sharon does call I answer and say hold on. I know I will say something I shouldn't. As far as the kids we have sent stuff and when we did it was always wrong and Sharon had something nasty to say about it. We have tried. Maybe Rich or myself could have tried harder.( I will not deny that) As for their past birthdays we were always told to send money, not gift cards, money. I will say one thing that I like to shop and would have sent those kids anything (within reason) We did sent MP3 players we sent them before xmas and told them they didn't have to wait. See, not all is mentioned.

Here is something not mentioned too. We offered to meet them in Las Vegas, which was more than meeting half way and I offered to pay for Sharon, Gary and the kids to meet us for a vacation. Rich wanted the opportunity to see the kids and speak with Sharon. We asked how far the drive would be and it wasn't but 6 hours or so (don't quote me exact on that) we felt that wasn't that far. If the drive was an issue something should have been said. We offered to pay for all meals, expenses and hotel. We have tried. That would have been a wonderful experience for my daughter to get to meet them and Rich to see the kids. I was willing to put all aside for the kids and Rich's sake. So now, I have offered money and a vacation both shot down quicker than you could blink. It really is a shame. I just gave up. Wouldn't anyone? Especially when it is only my responsibility when it is convient for her. Then the other times like earlier mind my own business.

Rich never said anything about the death of her mother, he did say that something about the divorce between her parents. Now, since we have brought the fact to light about the death issue, she is claiming its tit for tat. It wasn't. Would that still make it right?

Here we go again

I tried to post last night and it didn't..

I would like to first say if Sharon does call I answer and say hold on. I know I will say something I shouldn't. As far as the kids we have sent stuff and when we did it was always wrong and Sharon had something nasty to say about it. We have tried. Maybe Rich or myself could have tried harder.( I will not deny that) As for their past birthdays we were always told to send money, not gift cards, money. I will say one thing that I like to shop and would have sent those kids anything (within reason) We did sent MP3 players we sent them before xmas and told them they didn't have to wait. See, not all is mentioned.

Here is something not mentioned too. We offered to meet them in Las Vegas, which was more than meeting half way and I offered to pay for Sharon, Gary and the kids to meet us for a vacation. Rich wanted the opportunity to see the kids and speak with Sharon. We asked how far the drive would be and it wasn't but 6 hours or so (don't quote me exact on that) we felt that wasn't that far. If the drive was an issue something should have been said. We offered to pay for all meals, expenses and hotel. We have tried. That would have been a wonderful experience for my daughter to get to meet them and Rich to see the kids. I was willing to put all aside for the kids and Rich's sake. So now, I have offered money and a vacation both shot down quicker than you could blink. It really is a shame.

Rich never said anything about the death of her mother, he did say that something about the divorce between her parents. Now, since we have brought the fact to light about the death issue, she is claiming its tit for tat. It wasn't. Would that still make it right?

Response to Ruth and Diane

Ruth-Thank you for reading all of the postings. You and Nick have hung in there. I hate to informa everyone but I don't have bi-polar or any other mental illness. My medical records aren't open for the publick. I do have high blood pressure, high choletorol, I take melatonin to help me sleep-insomnia (which I have had for a long time that is why I take melatonin) and counceling to help with the fact of my mothers death which I am (and the children are) getting counceling for, which I have been bashed for by Richard himself, because I don't have the perfect family like he does.

At the time that the 20,000 was offered Richard owed far more than that. The account itself was going through an audit to be sent to CT for enforcement. Once the audit was done that amount changed and I even questionsed the child support division about it. They said that amounts often change onec an audit is in place so the figures that I have stated in my las blog are correct, as close as it can be until the final judgement.
The bills that he gets for the current medical have all been paid in full by myself. And the medical is now to be split in half between the two of us, but since he doesn't carry medical on the children and I can't put a insurance company name down, the doctors office doesn't allow a persons name I am responsible for the bills and I pay for them at the time of service.

I have an open and honest relationship with the children ages 17 and 14. They are wonderful kids and in our house we don't lie, it is just not accepted. I have never lied to the kids and I won't start now. By Richard saying that he was happy that their grandmother died, he ruined all hope of ever having a relationship with his children. They are allowed to talk anyway they want to him, regardless of who agrees with it. I myself have never cared what people think of me or my actions, but when I am wrong I do admit it. I am not the perfect parent nor do I claim to be, but I am always honest and open with them, fault me for it if you want but lieing is not acceptable.

Diane-wondered when you would get involoved. Ther was a time back in 96 and 97 when you actually spoke with the children, I know you said that you don't remember and that I have never sent pictures. To be honest I didn't read what you have to write, you opinion doesn't mean anything to me. You raised your son, not me, and my son will not turn out to be the way yours has. The family is more then welcome to come to the court date, rally all the support for Richard, I don't care. As far as your family never having a way to stay in touch with us, maybe you should of asked your son, I have lived in the same apartment complex since 1996 and have had the same phone number for probably over 11 years now. But you never remember a conversation that we had regarding the pictures that I did send you of the kids and you stating that if Richard wanted his own pictures he should pay his support, but now that is neither here nor there. His actions and words have change his relationship with the kids.

There are a lot of people that don't like me, so be it. I have a wonderful life with my kids, husband and family. The kids are well loved by the members of my family who have always been there. They know who truely love and care about them. If people don't like me fighting for the child support then so be it. Diane, one part I did read, save your money, they won't talk with you either, but feel free to ask Rich for the phone number if you want.

I have to get ready for work, and will not make anymore blogs on this site until the court date. I have a life to live, work, family, and my other job as well, yes I do work two jobs, the other one doesn't pay, put gives me satisfaction and my kids are very proud of the work that I do.

May all of you who have contributed to this site have a wonderful life and take care of yours. I will not be posting until after the 18th.

Sharon

Again, info is good.

Sharon:
That was not the amount legally owed at that time and I couldn't remove the lien.

I'm trying to understand this remove the lien stuff. I guess we're not letting the Monterey County stuff go, and that makes it more confusing. But explain this: How would Richard paying you, even in full, remove the lien from his house? Wouldn't he have to pay the county for the county to remove the lien?

Richard could have easily put the house in his wife's name to avoid the lien and protect his interests, if he was really geared towards not paying you - we all know that it doesn't take a genius' imagination to come up with that as a solution if he wanted to be a deadbeat - but he didn't.

Again, why would the county forgive a $50k debt if Richard paid you $23k of which he additionally owes? That just doesn't make sense.

Sharon, you are entitled to the full amount that the court specifies. But if my choice if receiving money was 85% of it or nothing, I'd have taken the 85%. There's something here that just doesn't add up. Was it that Richard would get off the hook for 3K that kept you from accepting his offer? Or is there something else in play here?

And Kelly, it would be in Richard's best interest to face a judge and present his side of the case.

Kelly:
I tried to post last night and it didn't..

Sometimes my posts don't go through either. It's mad frustrating.

Nick-Thanks for your reply and I will answer

Even though I said in the last posting which I am not sure if it has posted yet, that I wouldn't answer, I feel that I want to answer to you.

I was on AFDC from 1991-1996. In 1996 I graduated with an AS Degree in accounting. I am employed as an Accounting Specialist now. I worked as a student worker by day during breaks in my class schedule and at night I worked at a department store. I still carried a full load 12 units and took care of my kids. I made it whether on was on assistance or not at the time there was no help at all from Richard. So now he and his whole family are pissed because he is being held accountable. His problem not mine.

I do have all the paperwork on and I am hoping to get my scanner hooked back up so that I can scan the divorce papers and the current court papers. Right now that will have to come at a later time. I am getting ready to attend a seminar.

As for my sons eyelasses. I don't shop around when it comes to his eyes, and no my insurance doesn't cover optical an anyone in my family but myself. He has a regular doctor, one that I trust and knows what his eye condition is. So what if he chooses to wear contacts now. He wore glasses for years and I told him that I would get him contacts when he was old enough for the responsibility. Since I do have sole, physical, legal custody of both of my children I am the one that makes the chocies, not Richard or Kelly.

As far as the back medical goes, the insurance DIDN't cover it. I don't know how much clearer that can be made. That is what I am going to court for on the 18th. It will be cleared up then.

As far as my family living in Federal Housing, I have been their since 1996 a year before I was off of AFDC. I have the lease at home when I had to renew when I moved my mother in with us. It is all legal, if it wasn't they would kick us out.

The fact is that Richard never told the Child Support Division that he owned a house, and Kelly got caught in the middle of it, she married him baggage and all. If she doesn't like the situation then get out. Or come to court. The lien has been placed and until the lien is paid in full then it will not be taken off. At the time that he found out about the lien, he lied and said that he didn't own the home. Once it was confirmed the County put the lien on plus the back child support that he owed. After the audit was done on the account to send it over to CT for enforcement it was found that he owed less then the 23,000 and the interest. When we talked after the blow up at the doctors office we ageed that he would pay me the legal amount owed to the kids which at the time was somewhere around 23,542.00 if I remember correctly. Yes, he would have to deal with the County on what he owed. When the county didn't accept his offer for settlement with them then they took the vacation. Yes he could of paid the back child support but he didn't, again his decision.

I have to run know but I hope, Nick that I have answered some, or most of your questions. I always did the best that I could in raising my children and I will continue to do so. No, I don't shop around when it comes to their health or their eyes, fault me for that. I am the one who takes care of them, not Richard or Kelly.

Good Lord

Okay, I agree with nick if montery county put the lien on the house , you taking the 20 thousand would not have in fact, allowed you to take the lien off, it wasn't put there by YOU BUT by the county, to put welfare money back into the system for aid to other mothers.

Sharon, when I read the post from grandma, I was extremely sad for her, why is it anyone associated with Rich is cut off from your kids? and I am starting to really believe that you have in fact bashed their dad and his family so bad, that they want nothing to do with them, GRANDMAS do not owe you support, and I am deeply troubled about this death comment, NO ONE DESERVES THAT AT ALL, for Gods sake the man died, and having lost your own mom , I find it really mean that something like that should be said at all, considering dying is bad enough.
RICH OWES YOU SUPPORT and he paid it for 9 years?! yet you state he will not be able to see the kids even if he wants too? WHY should he pay support and not have visitation rights? You have never said he abused them and they are old enough to express their wishes that they want to come home after a vacation, but then Nick was right too about you guys instead of taking a vacation should have sent it to her anyways, THROUGH THE COUNTY then it is ON RECORD 20,000.00 was in fact paid towards the children, I think Sharon you have spread your hate to your kids, and you should have left them out of it entirely, hey Nick! I buy my glasses at wal- mart too ( ha ha) and just becuase we make a good living ,(well my husband does now I am disabled)I, too would have shopped around or a cheaper eye Dr.. Sharon you have refused support becuase it wasn't ENOUGH for you, 20,000.00 is alot of money and you should have taken it, when you didn't you showed that child support isn't really the issue with you but your hatred is.

Why is it so important to youto call all hours ranting and raving? Aren't you remarried? Are you unhappy in your marriage that you spend so much time making those kids hate their dad? You lead all of us to believe that he never gave you one dime in support, and it turns out, and you didn't deny he paid for 9 years until they had finacial trouble.

Nick is right, as for the trip they gave you 40.00 for, though, they say there was 2 money orders, but whatever , RICH didn't have to do that, he did it becuase he loves his kids.That maybe all they had, you, yourself, all of us, in fact, at some time or another been in finacial distress.

You and bashing on their parent and his family have deprived them of what I felt, after I read grandmas post, great grandparents, becuase she didn't agree with you?

That is not a good reason to deprive a grandparent of their grandchildren , becuase you hate their father.

Unfortunatley, for you Sharon, Rich has rights ,he pays support, he should be able to see them, with out your hatred for him being involved.

As for your daughter swearing, if that was my kid it would have ate soap talking to an adult like that, how can you condone your child swearing at an adult at all no matter who they are?!

The reason those kids don't want to see their dad I truly believe is becuase YOU cannot let your hatred go for him, these postings of YOUR own make that clear, YOU REFUSED 20,000.00 OVER A LOUSY 3,400.00 difference, that was pretty generous and coming from someone who only got 189.00 of my exs estate for child support in 18-19 years , I would have jumped on that one.
If someone doesn't "hate " Richard as you do then they are put down to your kids, I have the feeling you had quite a talk about their grandma too, WRONG SHARON. Those are her grandchildren she owes you no support, and she doesn't owe it to you to bash on her own son, would you bash on your son to his ex, when he grows up and gets married? I doubt it.

Gift and cards adressed to the kids from their father can only be opened by them,if you do it it is a federal offense, tampering with other peoples mail.

So Kelly, Rich address gifts cards etc, to the CHILDREN, and if they don't receive them notify the postmaster general.That would end the you don't send b-day cards and gifts, if they refuse them fine, You have done all you could, Kelly, and Rich have YOU EVER FOUGHT FOR THE FATHERS RIGHTS WHEN YOU WERE PAYING CHILD SUPPORT FOR 9 YEARS!?

Sharon you are a huge influence on those kids and if you talked more positively about their father to them, maybe they would not try to please you by hating him as well, why on earth did you bad mouth their father to them anyways?!
YOU AND RICH GOT MARRIED, YOU AND RICH HAD TWO KIDS, YOU AND RICH DIVORCED, THE CHILDREN DIDN'T DIVORCE HIM UNTIL YOU STARTED THIS YOUR DAD STUF, YOU SOMPLY DO NOT USE YOUR CHILDREN AS AN OOUTLET FOR WHATEVER GOES WRONG BETWEEN YOU AND RICH.LET IT GO Sharon and encourage the kids to get to know their dad YOU CHOSE HIM TO BE YOUR DAD, they have nothing to do with any money he owes you and it is hard to feel "sorry" for you after even reading your own postings that you tell those kids these things about heir dad, you hate him, therfore, they need to hate him, you like it that way. You are wrong there Sharon try being a good mother and not passing your hatred for their father on to them, i didn't waste my life or agression going after mikelike this and ot his kids too, instead i knew he wasn't gonna pay up and that I chose him for the father of my kids , so I took care of it myself, mike was a non entity.yes, I hated him but I didn't let it RULE our lives, I still let his mother see them and sent photos and not only at x mas.

I can almost promise you if your kids who are under your influence all the time didn't hear this negative about thier father they wouldn't hate him as you do, you have deprived them of grandparents that woman OBVIOUSLY tried to stay out of it, so she could see her grandkids , the fact you were talking toher after the divorce says that, okay she won't bash on her own son, so she is cut off? not fair, Sharon not fair at all. let that woman talk to her grandkids and talk positivley about her to them.She didn't do anything to those kids to deserve to be alienated.I know you are going to think I am the devil and I am sorry for that, BUT re read these postings they are about YOU AND HOW YOU FEEL and you should really encourage a relationship with their father whether you like it or not, he can't be all bad if he had medical insurace on them and faithfully paid support for 9 years!Like it or not IF Rich is paying support and by your own say so he is having money taken out of his check to send to you again, he DOES have rights to his kids,( and Rich I would exercise that right a little more too, despite what mom says, you can get the court to give you visitation and she can't deny you it, and spend time with your kids whether at first they want to or not, if the courts order visitations they are minors they have to abide by the courts, so they can see dad isn't so bad and be positive about their mother to them kelly too.) so why don't you adults put YOUR feelings aside YES, YOUR feelings for eachother, Sharon Kelly and Rich and try to rebuild what you broke by putting those kids in the middle.

NOTE TO NICK::::: I have to go to Wal mart tonight for vacuum bags they are 4 bucks cheaper there, hopefully i don't run into Spock or Kirk (LOL)

What an episode

Ok so I don't know you and I don't know your situation but wow! I was reading the story like a novel. I do have an opinion for as much as I know, which isn't much on this situation.

Child support is for the children, if a father isn't paying the family suffers. When that father re-marries, well it makes it harder for the mother to have to deal with that financial neglect. She looks at that new family and thinks, they have all these things and we had to struggle and have nothing because of him. He's getting a break. I'm not.

I hope the courts decide what is best for the children. If you are all adults then really let it rest and put this crap to an end. I can't believe how many times I heard you all say. I'm done, no more it's peaceful; then then the drama comes back. I hope that you all really do move on and that the kids help emotional and financial. No matter who is right or wrong. Good luck!

Thank God

Now that Sharon cannot get the support she is asking for. Because her lies are catching up with her she will finally be quiet.
To all of you who do not believe, "There is actually a God out there."
Let's enjoy the piece and quiet.

What you are doing to those kids filling them with hate and allowing such disrespect is awful.

The only thing I want to hear about your court date at this point is that the judge was wise enough to order ALL of you to go to family counseling so you learn to grow up and become decent parents. You people need to give some SERIOUS thought to mediation or counseling. What you are doing to those kids filling them with hate and allowing such disrespect is awful. Get the heck off the internet and take a parenting class. You need it.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT SUPPORT, YOUR PoSTINGS MAKE IT CLEAR BY ATTACKING HIS FAMILY THE WAY YOU HAVE

Sharon
by your own admission they offered to meet you halfway for a trip to vegas expenses paid, but YOU WANTED ALL OR NOTHING, now , that doesn't sound fair to me or the kids, you posted this posting I assume to get, A) advice or B). hurt Rich and his family

If my ex would have offered to meet me halfay so he could see his kids, I would have done it.WHAT is more important here, them rebuilding with their dad, or YOUR anger, you left out alot like he paid faithfully for 9 years, until they had finacial trouble and also, I stand by grandma, my current mother in law, up until I had been married to her son 19 years called me everyname in the book , and anyone will tell you even her herself she had no reason, other than she couldn't let her son go to another woman. BUT I still faithfully attended family functions, so she could have a relationship with her grandkids. I am getting the picture, YOU are out for Rich's blood and you resent he has a new family, so you hit him and his family where it hurts, by using the KIDS. there was no reason for you not to meet them halfway except your own anger.So she got mad and called you that name, answer this WERE YOU ALL NICEY NICEY TO GRANDMA? and she just peeled out with it? I have the feeling anyone that disagrees with you gets hit with those kids and you are not doing them any favors by behaving this way, their father HAS made attempts to send them gifts, (YOU LEFT THAT OUT TOO, I BELIEVE YOU SAID THE GET NOTHING FOR B_ DAYS AND HOLIDAYS) now, we find thats not true. My mother in law adores me now, and i am so glad for my childrens sake I hung in there , they have a wonderful grandma , but the point is i didn't let her view OF ME stop her from seeing her grandkids, maybe she doesn't call out of fear of another tirade out of you, I know, I am a witch to you now , BUT YOU DID LEAVE OUT PERTINENT INFORMATION REGARDING MONEY OFFERS, VACATIONS, GIFTS ETC, and GRANDMA didn't call your kids names, and I bet you have that woman scared to DEATH TO CALL YOUR HOUSE, so why don't you be an adult and call her and put her grandkids on the phone, why does everyone have to DO IT YOUR WAY (WHICH YOU WON'T BEND AT ALL ON AND COMPROMISE)OR NO WAY AT ALL.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT SUPPORT, YOUR PoSTINGS MAKE IT CLEAR BY ATTACKING HIS FAMILY THE WAY YOU HAVE, TURNING YOUR KIDS AGAINST THEM, YES, YOU HAD A LARGE HAND IN THE HATE THEY HAVE FOR THEM,SORRY BUT YOU COULD HAVE HANDLED THIS AND LEFT THE KIDS OUT , YOU CHOSE TO TELL THEM EVERY ROTTEN THING AND YOU SHOULD HAVE ACTED LIKE AN ADULT AND KEPT THE ADULT STUFF TO YOURSELF AND YES, YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THEM ON THE OFFER TO GO TO VEGAS SO THEY COULD SEE THEIR DAD. SOMEDAY, WHETHER YOU THINK SO OR NOT THEY WILL WANT THIER DAD IN THEIR LIFE, MAYBE WHEN THEY ARE OLDER , HOW ARE YOU GOING TO STOP TTHAT WHEN THEY ARE OVER AGE? RICH, YOU HAVE RIGHTS, I SUGGEST YOU AND KELLY FIGHT FOR THEM THROUGH THE COURTS, THE HATRED SPREADING TO THESE KIDS IS A DISEASE. AND ATTACKING THE DEAD NO MATTER WHO SAID WHAT IS THE WORST, AND NOT TO MENTION CHILDISH.
DIANNE: YOU SHOULD HAVE GRANDPARENT RIGHTS AND YOU CALL THOSE KIDS AND DON'T FIGHT WITH MOMMY EITHER, SHE TELLS THEM ALL, SO BE NICE AND ASK TO SPEAK TO THEM AND REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT THEIR DAD WITH THEM, SUCH AS: HOW IS SCHOOL,WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBY'S ETC. AND SHARON IF GRANDMA CALLS I SUGGEST YOU LEAVE YOUR OWN ANGER OUT AND LET HER TALK TO HER GRANDCHILDREN, THERE IS NO VIABLE REASON TO PUNISH HER, EXCEPT YOUR OWN VANDETTA.
ALSO, YOU SAID IN ONE POSTING YOU WOULD TAKE THE MONEY IN THE NEXT YOU SAID YOU WANTED IT ALL.

So I happen to feel sorry for the innocents you have drug into this fight and you have been kless thaan forth coming in this post as well , i am sorry if oyu hate me for that, but you are supossed to be an adult and an adult does NOT drag their children into these ugly matters, they protect them even if it means YOU as their mother sacrfice your own feelings and hate for them , as mothers we are to protect our kids from thissort of behaviour, I felt sorry for you at first, and thenoyu kept contradicting yourself, and then I read Diannes opinion and all became clear. YOU LIKE THE FACT THOSE KIDS LOVE YOU AND ONLY YOU. YOU ARE THE HERO PARENT AND YOU KEEP BASHING THEIR DAD FOR YOUR OWN REASONS THAT DO NOT OR SHOULD NOT BE RELAYED TO THEM. YOU ARE OWED SUPPORT BUT BY YOUR OWN SAY SO HE IS PAYING 2 TIMES A MONTH.

Nick

Your right the whole lien stuff is confusing, Sharon was willing to remove the lien(she said she could get the lien removed)then we later found out the county would have to not her.

One thing is right we could have put the house in my name only but we didn't. At that time, he was faithfully paying child support and we did nothing wrong by purchasing a home. I have worked for years too. Again, we didn't pull the wool over anyones eyes.

Her statement was she wanted it all. The 23,000(around that figure) is what she would settle nothing lower. As her figures are posted above and they are fuzzy due to the fact they change during this whole thing. It looks to me that she would have made out. How could anyone complain? Now that the support is back on schedule and he has been paying, it takes the state a while to get it to her. She is still complaining that she has only gotten a couple of payments. Well, that is between her and the county, not our fault.

Rich will tell his side in court. Although, it won't be in person as she keeps pushing. She has already been threatening to him.(shotgun) For whatever reason she keeps pushing to have him show up there. Again, wouldn't that make you wonder about my statements that she can't let go?

Weekend......

Okay I have been lying low, as I worked all weekend.... And it took me all day yesterday to catch up on all the reading here.... WOW.....allot has come to light.............

Nick,
I was so please to see that you have finally caught on, there are more side to every story then have been portrayed here. I must apologize I really did not think you would figure it out. It is not often that I am but I was pleasantly surprised. That is what I have been saying all along, there is way more information that is not being put forth here, and when anyone sets out to trash some one you will see only one side. I apologize for thinking the things I thought about you.

Ruth,
Same to you, I am glad that people who have been following this blog have actually found the time to re read and realize there is more to this then what Sharon has tried to portray.

No one on the Santerre family has denied Rich owes money, I have tried to say this from the beginning there are more in depth issues here not mentioned.

Kelly,
Glad to see you have put more details into your blog entries so that more information is put out there and more of the facts can be seen by all.

Sharon,
As I have read this weekends posts I must add and ask a few things.

First of all....
If Rich offered you $20,000.00 that is Kelly's money, when you refused it why are you so upset when they actually used the money for something for them?

He has a payment plan with the County so whatever the amount he owes he is working on that, and the arrearage he owes you, isn't part of that child support he pays going toward part of that figure? (I suspect that is where the fuzzy accounting comes in; you were not taking that into account.)

As for current medical that is a figure to be worked out in court, right?

Second of all....
Just a warning these next few thought are mine and mine alone, Richard and Kelly have not been part of how I think and I will say what I feel here.....

This Las Vegas Vacation (Isn't that a title of a movie?) that was offered to you.....
My thought here is that you could not bring yourself to bring the kids because then they would have been able to make their own judgment about him, and there would be no fighting... If your kids had gotten to actually know him you would not have the ugliness you have in your live today.....

As I recall though at the time you were calling often.... about allot of issues maybe you couldn't accept the trip because you couldn't let your current husband know how you feel about Rich....

Here is my question here..... or just another thought perhaps....... Why would anyone refuse an all expense paid trip anywhere?? Especially if you have had it as bad off as you claim, free trip to Las Vegas, kids spend time with their father, you and current husband have time alone, ......

How bad does this sound to anyone reading the blog?

As a women who has children I think this would be the perfect family vacation, free, kids taken care of, free.......????

Thirdly..... (Is that a real word?)
No one is pissed at you for going back to court Sharon. The issue we have with you is this whole deadbeat thing....

As Nick so eloquently put it Rich is guilty of being a “latebeat”, as he was out of work for several months, but when Rich has worked he has always had the support taken out of his checks and sent to you via the state..

As for the first few years of your separation and subsequent divorce....

You were on state assistance, welfare or what ever it is called in California so when you divorced Rich you choose not address child support. Let me say that again “YOU CHOOSE”.... I suspect if you had asked for child support then you would not have that accounting degree now... as you would not have gotten the welfare to support you and the kids.... Rich let it be, you collected assistance for all those years, and then after you find out Rich is happy and has another child you pursued child support. Rich has paid ever since and has made the arrangements to pay back the county for all that support you received from them too.

Now all was well with all the support until Rich stopped working in July or August I can't exactly remember the time frame, but anyway you then decide to go balls to the walls.... not a problem until you decide that this is the proper forum for you to announce to the world what a “Deadbeat” Rich is........

It almost worked..... Until the Santerre family stepped up to the plate and started to slowly but surely get the facts or more of them out there for everyone to see the whole story....

And my final point here..........
You claim again that I had your number and a way to contact you.... NO Sharon I did not have anyway of contacting you or the children but when I did finally get the email address for you and the kids I tried to have contact and what did you do ..... Tried to bash my brother..... I refused to answer or discuss it and you continued to try to discuss trying to contact the kids.....but no it has to be about Rich's responsibility...

Have you raised your kids to only love or have feelings for those who you approve of........? And why on earth would my contact with the children have anything to do with weather Rich pays his child support or not????

Your son's Birthday was recently, I tried to email him 14 days before his birthday.... My email was forwarded to you and Stephanie and it came back that these addresses would not accept mail from me.... so do not again say I missed his Birthday..... Tried to IM it to your daughter this evening, although I actually think that was you on the computer, (As there were no cuss words being thrown at me which is Stephanie's style) and it was refused.... which is fine I cut and pasted the message into the IM so it was there for him to read.... Which is all I asked.....

And before you get up on your high horse if in fact it was Stephanie I am not all that up set that she does not want to hear from me, rather impressed with her composure, and the respectful way she asked me not to IM her.. Unlike in the past....

Until the next blog.......

In Response to Kelly, Ruth, Nick and Nadine

Kelly-Yes Richard did make the offer to go to Veags. I choose not to because if he wants to see the kids he can come to CA to do so. He has never exercised his right to do so in the past, and as far as I am concerned, I don't beleive a word that comes out of his mouth. He wants something different to happen take me to court, which has to be done in CA because that is where the case originates. That is just a fact and yes I am sticking to the fact.

Ruth-As far as Diane, the wounded grandmother goes, give me a break she has always known where I live and has always had the phone number. After a blow up with her when she referred to me as a F****** B****, which she doesn't remember doing, as she was leaving for vacation, I choose to never contact her again and she did likewise. Again she has always had the address and phone number.

Nick-in order to remove a lien you have to satisfy the lien in Full. The only agreement that I made with Richard, and yes it was conditional on Monterey County dropping the lien on the house, was that I would drop the interest, this made him very happy and he even wrote an e-mail to me expressing his thoughts on how I was a good role model to his children and thanking me for taking care of them all these years even though it must of been hard, but when Monterey County wouldn't settle for the amount that he offered, then the money went to pay for their vacation. The money was used the way they wanted to use the money. I don't have control over that nor do I want control on that matter.

The fact of the matter is that:
-I don't have a mental condition.
-Kelly is pissed because I won't take her hand outs, and I won't drop the lien. Monterey County wants their money too.

-Richard doesn't answer any court paperwork and has not provided the court with his financial information although I have had to provide mine.
-I have been threated with Kelly trying to get my family (myself, my husband, and the kids) kicked out of where we live because she feels that we make to much money to live where we do. Now who is lilly white here? She is just mean and vendictive just like the rest of the family. But when Stefanie asked Richard if her and her brother could come live with them he said sure, no problem come on over. If my houseing was a problem I would of already been kicked out.
-If I am such a bad mother then Richard should of filed papers wanting to have joint custody and exercised his visitation rights. He has never done so. I was just down looking at the case file yesturday. As I have stated before, he doesn't want to go to court and doesn't file paperwork. If you can afford an attorney then pay back what you owe. Don't give conditions on what I have to do, like drop the lien, I can't do that, Monterey County wants their money to. I have the court papers to prove it. Come to court and I will have all the papers there.

The VERY last posting

This is for Kelly, Richard and Angie-
Kelly-Thanks for the message yet again about weigth loss. You spineless B****, who only hides behind Richard. Dont' contact me with fat things again. Tell Diane, she can kisss it.

Richard-You heard what my husband had to say, Back off A******. If you had any kind of B**** you would of stood up to the plate a long time ago.
Agnie-Good Try. So sorry you got knocked down. The kids want nothing to do with any of you.

I have the copies of the divorce papers, which you through away after the divorce, they state that:

No MDR 26294 Declaration in Support of Request for Deafult Judgement (Child Support)
Sharon Marie Santerre, Plaintiff,
Vs.
SRichard John Santerre, Defendant

Oct. 2, 1992, I, Thomas P. O'Brien, declare that : I am a duly appointed deputy disctict attorney in the Family Support Division of the Monterey Country Distric Attorney's Office and I have reviewed the Family Support Division file regarding the above encaptioned matter.

I am responsible for establishment, enforcement and collection of child support and arrearages in the above entitled case.

I am a custodian of the Distric Attorney's file in this case and I am familiar with its contents.

I am informed and believe that from March 1991 through March 1992, defendent was employed at the Vallejo Police Department and had a gross monthly income of $1,384.00 during this time period. The basis of my beleif is reports of earning from the Employmnet Development Department.
Based on the financial information, a Minimum Child Support Worksheet, Attached hereto and incorparted by reference, was prepared in accordance with California Civic Code 4721.

Subsequently, it is requested that respondent be ordered to pay $222.50 per month per child for a toal fo $445.00 per month through the Monterey County Distric Attorney's Office, P.O. Box 2059, Salinas, California 93901.

A wage asseignment should be ordered and defendant should be order to obtain health insurance if available at reasonable cost.

I declare under penalty of perjury, under the laws of the State of California, that the foregoing is true and correct.

Dated: September 29, 1992

Thomas P. O'Brien
Deputy District Attorney

Now during this posting Diane, his mother, Angie his sister and his wife have been trying to engage me in conversation over the Internet. Good luch guys, Diane look through all your paperwork and you may find the divorce papers for Richard, showing that yes I was on AFDC at the time, he knew it, did not take care of his responsibilities.

Any further contact through the court. This novel is done.

Thanks for the support and non-support,
Sharon J.

Another last post - I'm not finished yet....

Angie:
I was so please to see that you have finally caught on, there are more side to every story then have been portrayed here. I must apologize I really did not think you would figure it out. It is not often that I am but I was pleasantly surprised.

If you're surprised, color me shocked. But no-one was denying anyone's claims AT FIRST, so it tends to suggest to the reader that someone is not interested in debunking lies, but instead, using smokescreen and engaging in a "who can throw the best insult" contest. That's where my Bull$#!t Detector starts going off.

Had Kelly come in and point by point shot down the argument (or made her own, such as the 9 years of FAITHFUL support that was later mentioned), it would have shut down the arguments. All I heard was Sharon is fat, and Kelly works for her 122 lb. figure. Do you see what I'm working with here? :)

Facts are stubborn things, and I judge based on the facts presented.

Angie:
I apologize for thinking the things I thought about you.

I apologize for the things I WROTE about you and your family; joining in the thrashing of a man's name, and his wife and their character, and even extended family. I hope you'll understand my explanation listed in this post about the word "deadbeat".

It's interesting how impurities in melted gold rise to the top - but you have to add a little heat. Touchy feeling thoughts on feelings aren't heat. Facts are heat.

I DO believe VERY STRONGLY in men backing up their kids, even if they can't stand the wife anymore. Call me old fashioned, but a man has an advantage of earning more money faster - wrong or right, it's a fact of life.

Being a "latebeat" is a world away from "deadbeat", IF the intent is to make it right as fast as possible. I wish no ill will on a man who is down on his luck, loses/changes a job. Been there, it sucks. No-one started arguing the deadbeat point until halfway in. But I hate DEADbeats.

Deadbeat has its own definition, and from what I read, it doesn't fit on Richard. A man who pays for years, and continues to check in, notify when moving, doesn't change or unlist phone numbers - all those things are NOT indications that Richard is hiding - which is what DEADBEATS do. They hide like roaches and run when light shines on them.

WORDS MEAN THINGS. Some guy in another thread claimed Cricket Mobile was racist in the headline. So I went in and asked him what racial slur was used. None - he received poor customer service from a "minority". I was happy to point out that he mis-represented an entire company based on his ill-used and incorrect word. "Deadbeat", like "Racist" is a huge inflammatory accusation, and when it IS used, should be 100% accurate.

I get the impression that the 20K was a "deal" that would have benefited both parties. Sharon STILL has the right to ask for the whole amount - and Richard owes that ANYWAY, regardless. IF that is true, he SHOULD have paid it regardless - lien deal or no deal - instead, he found that the deal wasn't going to pan out to his benefit (to ditch the lien), so they spent it elsewhere.

It was Kelly's money from a death in her family, so it wasn't even income counted from Richard - and Sharon was less than truthful about the lien anyway.

Angie:
Here is my question here..... or just another thought perhaps....... Why would anyone refuse an all expense paid trip anywhere?? Especially if you have had it as bad off as you claim, free trip to Las Vegas, kids spend time with their father, you and current husband have time alone, ......

A very interesting point, Angie, especially considering the "Parents Bill of Rights", Article #7 that was posted here earlier by Sharon:

ARTICLE XII:
You do not have the right to relinquish your parental rights just because you do not want to pay child support. If you do not have a relationship with your children, it is solely and 100% your fault. If you claim that you don't have that relationship because the custodial parent denied you visitation you are living in a fantasy world.

Fantasy world? Sharon, are we so rigid here that we can't let Richard spend a week with the kids? Or do you get to orchestrate every hour of the event? Seriously.

Besides this "Aricle stuff" being legally WRONG in California... it is a generalization that doesn't fit here.

Maybe Richard is less interested in helping out thankless people who return payment with insult, despite his legal responsibility to do so. But it doesn't appear that there's no relationship because of his lack of effort (ahem - I mean... FANTASY WORLD), but it's because mom won't play by her own rules.

Sharon, does Richard need you to choose his flight, his hotel, his meals, where he can take the kids all with your supervision to see his kids? "Good Faith" comes into play here. If he's not contesting custody, there's probably little chance he will "steal" a 17 year old. And if you're really not interested in "seeing him" anyway, then even better if you DON'T, right?

Richard CAN claim he didn't have that relationship because he is welcome to pay money, and whatever overpriced bills (luxuries like contacts that Sharon promised her kids), but not reap the benefits of seeing his own kids and spending time with them. That's crap, Sharon.

You're making a case that if he has enough money to come see the kids that he should pay $23K TO YOU first. He will probably owe that money for a long time, but let him spend time with the kids when they are KIDS. He is showing an interest that DOESN'T hinge on money. Perhaps you're holding the kids hostage "in the best interest of the kids". Is it? Or is it YOUR best interest?

Dads aren't perfect - a concept I relate to - are you going to say he is "just acting" that way? Do you know the percentage of guys who try to be a part of their kids' lives after a divorce? As a man, I'm embarassed to say: Not enough! "Deadbeat" also implies not only NO interest, but avoidance. Again, Richard, whatever opinion YOU have formed of him, doesn't fit the bill of deadbeat in MY opinion.

Sharon, I really felt bad for you because I thought you were scraping by while Richard was buying real estate investments. It seems to be turning out that you passed up an offer for $20k, AND a free expenses-paid vacation in Vegas. You didn't deny the offer was there, so again, I have to assume THAT is true. Kelly was negligent in defending her case at first, and if this is wrong, you aren't contesting the Vegas offering now.

We went from "no Christmas or birthday gifts" to "slutty hand-me-downs", only to find out that gift cards aren't welcome either. Only cash. WTF? Best Buy, or Borders Books or Mall Stores all have gift cards, and products kids like shopping for. Gifts are Gifts, not entitlements, and if they're for your kids, certainly NOT to a specific guideline such as "cash only".

Someone PLEASE disagree with me here if I'm wrong: Cash gifts, especially given by 'ex's usually implies they have are reluctantly fulfilling a redundant "common courtesy" offering with little or no thought. Never mind someone wants to put a little time into thinking about a good gift, only to be trumped by your critical opinion and then have that insulting opinion broadcast on the net through rose-colored glasses.

Seems Richard could purchase a used 2003 car for your kids, and you'd instantly call it a crapheap, with unsafe tires, rusted and smells like cigarette smoke from the previous owner - how unsafe and inappropriate for kids - what WAS he thinking!!!

It's getting real hard to feel sorry for you. Please debunk my arguements if they are off.

Priorities are wrong

To both parties involved: I feel bad that you both have to go through all this. However, in my humble opinion, you both are forgetting what the main topic should be, and that is the children involved. There have been so many postings on here containing name calling, and making some serious accusations. Don't you know your kids are reading this, in fact, one has become part of it. I don't know you, so I am not going to judge you, but these kids futures should be the most important things in both of your lives. This fighting (and I speak from experience) does nothing good for them. If a court verdict is the rememdy you seek, then go ahead and do it that way. Don't post mean, hateful things so that your children can read. I truly wish you both the best of luck, with everything. Most of all, I wish your children the best, and I will say a prayer for them.

Child support

No one has ever disagreed that you should get child support.
Which, I might add you get weekly.
Where is the problem?????????
You are getting what the court says you should get.

still doesn't make sense

Court ordered child support $445 a month.
Ok, it is being paid.
What more do you want Sharon?
A pound of flesh.
Some how I do not see the problem.
You just cannot seem to let Rich go.
Please explain what your problem is NOW?
Seems to me you just can not let Rich go.
Other than child support WHAT DO YOU WANT?

MORE INFO

Just a little more info

Tonight I happened to check my voice messages and I received such a pleasant one from Rich's daughter. Let's see it said that I was F* immature and she is even more mature than me? To F* lay off and to F* butt out and to F* mind my own business. Here again the children are exposed to ALL that goes on. If she wanted to leave a message than so be it. To disrespect and speak to an adult like that is really unacceptable. (I try to enforce that in my house disrepect it not tolerated) I do understand she is sticking up and protecting her mom due to the fact maybe she is upset. Upset about what? Sharon is the one who stated she started it and will finish it. Sharon, you didn't think that it might get ugly? You were the one who e-mailed us this website more than once and seemed so proud of it. Did you think after it went on we would sit by and say nothing?

It is okay though for Stefanie to speak of my father-in laws death the way she did? Whatever they say and do is okay?

Again, when it is convient I should take responsibility and help with the children. It's seems okay if I am offering money at certain times. Then it's referred to as a handout. I am a little confused here. Which is it? So the fact I took my family and friends on a vacation WITH MY MONEY shouldn't even be an issue right?

Let's also mention of the phone call from Gary, he stated he was sick of all this and Rich did respond with be sick of it. Gary then called him a F* A*** and hung up. The question is does Gary know of all the items on this website and all the phone calls at night (while he was working) Sounds like things aren't going as well as said. Maybe he is sick of the fact you, Sharon can't let it go. Maybe he is fed up with the fact you won't let Rich go. (due to hatred or other reasons)

Ok, Ok, Enough Already....

Wow, has this gotten BLOWN way out of proportion!
As a mother who recieves child support, and a wife of a husband who pays child support, I can see both sides of this story.

I can understand that you need/want the money for the children, but on the other hand, do you have to be so mean and nasty about it? No wonder you don't want these around the father, they might find out they have a parent that doesn't degrade people when the going gets tough and they can't handle the critisim.

Furthermore.....
My ex-husband owes me THOUSANDS in back child support(he's currently paying) but I wouldn't dare go after him for it. You know why? Because I am capable of earning my own money and paying for my child on my own. He wasnt the only one who made my son. I was there too! Plus, I know his father needs to make a living too because of his other children with his new wife. I know I can take care of my child w/o his help if need be. I don't want his other children (my son's siblings) to go with out because of haste and greed. No offense to anyone, but some of these mother's who are running after men for child support need to stand up and take responsibility themselves. The husband/boyfriend/one-night stand, weren't the only one's to lay down and make that baby! What would happen if the father was dead? You would get on state assitance instead of working and paying you're own way. I understand it's hard in these days and times, trust me I do. But when you wake up every morning and see those beautiful face of a child YOU HELPED create, you know it's all worth it!
I may be making an assumption here but did you say you were on some sort of housing assistance?
No, I'm NOT gonna go there! But all I will say is this, take some responsibility!

My (current) husband is paying child support to a woman who doesn't even have custody of his daughter anymore. The mother's ex-boyfriend's mother has custody of her and refuses to let us see her. We were NEVER told about this "adoption" being taking place and are now being sued for child support for this person to recieve child support also. It's a sticky situation and ALOT of details are involved but we are going to court for custody on the 19th and also suing the mother of this child for child support since she has received the money and never reported she didn't have the child. Everyone is quick to go after the father of a child and not want to make a mother take responsibility for the life she also created...
Sorry this is so long, I could go on and on but I won't.

Sharon i did SUPPORT YOU AT FIRST WE ALL DID

Sharon, read your own postings no one is DENYING support is owed, and if you got assistance than that is your business alone.

OUR point is the hatred you are spreading to your kids, by the way you stated your kids had their own minds and they could speak however they wanted, so swearing at an adult or anyone for that matter is ACCEPTABLE TO YOU AND YOU DON'T DISCOURAGE your kids to talk that way? You are raising them to be disrespectful.

I did feel sorry for you, but you know what you just did? YOU SAID GRANDMA CANNOT SEE THE KIDS ( ONLY ON YOUR TERMS) BECAUSE SHE CALLED YOU A F****** B****! Now read your last posting full of words like that. No, it is NOT okay for your children to talk to adults like that.

All I was saying, was YOUR FEELING AND HATRED SHOULD BE LEFT OUT OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR FATHER, YOU SAID THERE WERE NO GIFTS , CARDS NOTHING, NOW, I READ YOU REFUSE TO LET THE SISTER IN LAW EMAIL YOUR CHILDREN, SHE IS OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM AND I FIND IT ODD THAT BOTH GRANDMA AND SISTER IN LAW SAID BECUASE THEY WOULDN'T BASH ON THEIR BROTHER/SON TO YOU, THEN YOU CUT OFF CONTACT WITH THE KIDS,You really aren't playing fair to kelly and Rich, although, I do agree that your weight should never come into play here.

YOU started this posting, why? I can't answer that, but you state you didn't want kellys handouts, maybe they wanted to SEE THE KIDS AND YOU WANT THEM TO KEEP HATING THEM, SO YOU REFUSED A FREE TRIP TO VEGAS, sorry, I don't see that as a handout, I see it as an attempt on THEIR part to see his children, and paying for you and your husband as well, was more than doing their part, and you know what? YOU COULD HAVE WENT AND WENT OFF WITH YOUR HUBBY AND LEFT THEM WITH THE KIDS AND ENJOYED YOURSELF! Now, you say the 20,000,00was a handout?! NO, Sharon it was an attempt to pay you child support, they are married their income is as one, and I am sure your husbands and your incomes is one as well, you both have to pay the same bills no matter what you are married.

Why are you so eager to keep your kids from THEIR family, you say it is them , but read your postings if someone disagrees with you automatically ther emails get sent back, gifts are not good enough, and you say the kids hate them, there could only be one reason for that you have NOT been upfront with them, you denied them a trip to see their dad, becuase of YOUR ANGER, supossedly you are married, so why do yu want to keep this hatred going?IT IS UNHEALTHY FOR YOUR CHILDREN.Grandma and angie shouldhave everyright in the world to see your kids and not have you turn them against them becuase you hate them, they didn't marry you and JUST MAYBE SHARON DID YOU EVER THINK THAT THESE WOMEN LOVE THOSE KIDS AND MISS THEM?! Why you would not encourage a relationship with grandma and auntie is baffling.

Again , I think it comes down to your hatred, you should encourage your kids to see their dad and you should have taken them up on vegas, it wasn't a handout, it was a clear attempt for dad to see HIS kids, but you seem to be doing all you can to tell them every horrible thing about his family, so they side with mom, ( the victim) if he has paid support faithfully and got behind , that happens , but he is trying to rectify that, so many dads out there don't even CLAIM their children, and yours have a father that pays support,I wonder have you never had financial trouble, that you cannot understand rough times? If you haven't lucky you, but most people at one time or another fall behind in bills including child support, it wasn't like he was working and NOT paying you, by your own say so, he was paying faithfully until he was out of work. what he owes the county is between him and them.ONLY what he owes you should be what you are worried about and you said you were receiving support again.So basically, I am getting, he can pay support and I'll take his money alright, but as far as him or his family seeing the kids thats out unless it is on your terms, and you should be encouraging them to love their dad good or bad, he iS their father and the aunt and grandma are being punished for the exact same swearing and name calling you did in your last posting, if you are going to take the child support then give the guy credit for loving his kids enough to pay, and it wouldn't HURT you to meet in the middle once in awhile , especiially if he is paying support!this isn't really about the kids is it?

It is about you and how you can hurt them, you ARE right now by your own say so receiving twice a month support, so let the kids have a realtionship with the man and his family why bring them into it as your pawns?!Blocking out their emails shows me youmight be afraid of yourkids hearing the truth that dad DOES love them and is paying support, and did try to seee them in vegas but you had ot haveit YOUR WAY OR NONE YOU PUNISHED THEM NOT THEIR DAD CAN'T YOU SEE THAT? You are teaching them disrespect and hate good going there mom.the aunt and grandma should have acess to those kids whether YOU like themor not, and so should thier dad if he is paying support, whether YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! he desreves to not have them hate him heis paying so he is behind it sounds ot me like they are TRYING TO MAKE IT RIGHT BUT YOU ARE MAKING IT TOUGH ( THE 20,000.00 and the trip) You called it handout, it was a parent trying to pay for his kids and I commend Kelly for the offer, but kellly, I do think you should stop with the weight thing.

These postings you have posted leave the impression you are un workable and unwilling to compromise, I have to assume becuase you hate him and his family, you want them too, too and you are dead wrong if thats the case, you should be postive about them to these kids not hateful.Do you realize how many fathers DO NOT PAYONE DIME FOR THEIR KIDS OR EVEN ATTEMPT TO SEE THEM, NOT GOING TO VEGAS WAS PERSONAL, YOU DIDN'T WANT THE KIDS TO SEE THEIR DAD, AND IT REALLY WAS GENEROUS FOR THEM TO PAY YOU AND YOUR HUSBANDS EXPENSES AS WELL TO SEE THEM.i FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR KIDS CAUGHT UP IN THIS HATE DEPRIVED OF AN AUNT AND GRANDMA THAT OBVIOUSLY CARE AND TRY TO CONTACT THE KIDS BUT YET AGAIN, YOU FIXED IT SO THEY COULDN'T.THENYOU SAY THE DON'T TRY, IS THAT WHAT YOU TELL YOUR KIDS? WHAT YOU HAVE TOLD US HERE IN THIS POSTING, NO WONDER THEY ARE ANGRY, YOU COULD BE AN ADULT AND MAKE THIS RIGHT BY STOPPING BASHING ON THEM BECUASE YOU DON'T LIKE THEM, PLEASE DON NOT TAKE THIS AS AN ATTACK, IT IS WHAT I OBSERVED AND I READ EVERYONE OF THE POSTINGS CAREFULLY, YOU DON'T DENY THE MONEY OR THE TRIP, IN FACT, YOU SAID THEY COULD COME TO CALI, BUT VEGAS WOULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT EXPERIENCE FOR THME, INSTEAD YOU WANT THE MONEY AND THATS ALL, THE KIDS CAN HAVE SUPPORT BUT NO FATHER IN THEIR LIFE AND THAT IS WRONG, KELLY AND RICH DIANNE AND ANGIE FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS, THE KIDS MAY BE UNACCEPTING AT FIRST, BUT AS THEY GET OLDER THEY WILLL SEE YOU HUNG IN THERE, AND TRIED WITH EVERYTHING YOU HAD , AND THEY WILL GROW TO LIKE YOU I WOULD ENCOURAGE YOU TO KEEP SENDING CARDS AND GIFTS AND WHO CARES IF MOM SAYS NOT GOOD ENOUGH? IT IS FOR THEM NOT HER.wHATEVER YOU DO PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP ON THOSEKIDS BECUASE THEIR MOTHER ISMAKING EVERY ATTEMPT HARD FOR YOU.

I KNOW THATS A SHAME BUT HANG IN THERE AND THE KIDS WILL KNOW YOU LOVE THEM IT WILL TAKE TIME AND HURT, BUT THE KIDS ARE WORTH IT, RICH YOU ARE IN FACT PAYING SUPPORT, SO GO FOR VISITATIOON , SHE CAN'T STOP YOU GUYS IF YOU HAVE COURT ORDERED VISITATION LIKE SINCE YOU LIVE IN ANOTHER STATE( I ASSUME YOU DO IF VEGAS WAS HALFWAY)YOU CAN ASK A JUDGE FOR SUMMERS OR 3 WEEKS OUT OF THE SUMMER AND SPRING BREAK AS WELL, BUT DO NOT GIVE UP ON THOSE KIDS FIGHT FOR THEM , SHOW THEM YOU LOVE THEM EVEN IF IT MEANS MORTAGING YOUR HOME FOR AN ATTORNEY, BUT I AM SURE YOU CAN FILE FOR VISITATION YOURSELF.

PLEASE KEEP TRYING TO KEEP IN CONTACT WITH THEM.SHE CANNOT DEFY A VISISTATION ORDER AND YOU'LLGET ONE BECUASE YOU ARE PAYING SUPPORT AND I BET YOU CAN PROVE THE 9 YEARS STEADY THAT YOU DID, I WORKED AT A COURTHOUSE I KNOW AS LONG AS YOU HAVE PAID SUPPORT ( EVEN IF YOU DID GET ABEHIND)YOU WILL BE AWARDED VISITATION AND AT FIRST THEKID MAY GIVE YOU GRIEF AFTERALL, THEY HAVE BEEN TOLD HORRIBLE THINGS ABOUT YOU NOT CARING BUTyou CANCHANGE THAT AND I TRULY HOPE YOU DO, AND SHARON I PRAY YOU GET OVER YOUR HATERED AND CONSTANT ATTEMPTS TO KEEP THOSE KIDS FROM THIER DAD,AND FIND SOME PEACE, HATE IS EASY TO CARRY BUTIT GETS HEAVY AFTERAWHILE AND IAM SURE YOUR KIDS ARE REALLY WEIGHTED DOWN BY THIS.THEY ARE THE INNOCENT ONES,HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT PEOPLE IS NOT A LICENSE TO MAKE THEM HATE PEOPLE, AND FOR THE LIFE OF ME I CANNNOT UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN TAKE HIS SUPPORT THEN TURN HIS KIDS AGIANST HIM.AND HONESTLY YOUR KIDS SHOULD BE TAUGHT RESPECT SWEARING AT ADULT IS NOT EXPRESSING THEMSELVES, IT IS DISRESPECTFUL AND YOU AS THEIR MOTHER SHOULD TEACH THEM NOT TO DO THAT.

It is almost over

The Court date is almost here.
Thank God.
There is a lot more here going on.
But a lot of it is being saved to say at Court.
As for Rich's family,we have had enough of lies and half truths.
All will be told in Court.
Thanks for everyone sticking in there.
It is a shame that a family (any family) has to go trhough this.

Okay I am butting in yet again!

First off nick is 100% right in everything he has said, I too owe rich's family an apology, I suspect you got that call from the daughter becuase of these postings, Sharon, when are you gonna grow up and tell that kid swearing like that to ANYONE makes he look unitelligent and unladylike and disrespectful!
A mother SHOULD NEVER CONDONE THAT KIND OF FOUL MOUTH BY THEIR CHILDREN, you stated grandma called you a fing b, and you won't let them near the kids for it, BUT YOU LET YOUR 17 YEAR OLD THINK IT IS PERFECTLY OKAY TO SPEAK TO ANYONE ESPECIALLY AN ADULT LIKE THAT? Again, okay for you to, but not daddy's family they are trash when they do it.
In the beginning I felt s bad for you, I was a single mom WITH A REAL DEADBEAT DAD EXACTLY HOW NICK DESCRIBES MOVED STATE TO STATE ETC. That man did everthing he could not topay support OR see his kids, and you are so wrong about Richard, he DID pay support, (tHEY DO) as i stated before they are married their income goes to the same household, now you ARE receiving support again, yet you still keep punishing him, for what?

DO YOU STILL LOVE HIM? AND YOU KNOW THE BEST WAY TO HURT HIM IS BY USING HIS KIDS? You are keeping this going by calling, there is no reason to now that you are being paid, and now you encourage your DAUGHTER TO SWEAR AT THEM in that case, your case against grandma has absolutley NO MERIT, Dianne, I feel sorry for you and angie and those kids, so far I gather she has taught them hate and swearing , both good things for a GOOD mother to teach her kids, my kids talked that way they would eat soap, and I would clean their foul mouths out right away, yet you encourage it.

I think you still have feelings for Rich, and if you can't have him, then none of his family can see the kids, you came off as a victim, and Nick and I stuck our necks out for you, becuase like Nick, I believe strongly a father has to own up to his responsibilities.

FURTHERMORE the gifts are NOT FOR YOU, THEY ARE FOR THE CHILDREN and you should be happy, that they get them. INSTEAD, you insist ON CASH, what does it matter to you? They are for the kids NOT YOU.

Like I stated in my earlier posting seems to me from grandma on down that Rich and his family have tried but you ambushed them everystep of the way.I think no matter what they do, it is always going to be crap or not good enough as Nick put it.

Nick is also right about the earlier postings Kelly, you didn't at first, EXPLAiN so all we had to go on was you calling her fat etc. thus, making her really look like the victim, so in that regard I hope you can see WHY we said the things we did, I do appologize to you and Rich , now that the truth has come out,

She is clearly making it difficult for you to have any kind of relationship with those kids and it sounds like jealousy, I have to ask why she is still calling if she is getting her support.I think grandma is right she can't let go and she calls whenher hubby isn't home? HMMMMMMM. I find that odd too unless, she doesn't tell him the whole story either and he only hears her side. I also agree with Nickon the point of him taking them, if he hasn't by now and with the morals being taught ot them swearing at adults maybe he should go after custody, I would not stand for my child speaking like that to ANYONE!Rich isn't about to "steal" them now, so thats just an excuse.

Sharon why DO YOU KEEP THIS HATRED GOING? YOU AREGETTING PAID AND YET YOU STILL FEEL THE NEED OT TURN YOUR KIDS AGAINST THEIR DAD, SHOULDN'T YOU BE TELLING THEM HE LOVES THEM ENOUGH TO PAY HIS SUPPORT?

iAM ALSO STILL MIFFED ABOUT THE VEGAS TRIP, I THINK YOU JUST WANT TO MAKE IT HARD ON THEM, AND YOU RESENT KELLLY FOR MARRYING RICH. YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE, YOU COULD HAVE HAD SOME FUN. AND VEGAS IS A NEAT PLACE TO TAKE YOUR KIDS WITH ALL THE ATTRACTIONS, SO YOU DEPRIVED THEM OF A WONDERFUL VACATION BASED ON YOUR HATRED.
VEGAS IS PRETY CLOSE TO CALI I MIGHT ADD YOU COULD HAVE MET THEM HALFWAY, BUT I BET YOU TOLD THOSE KIDS DADDY DOESN'T LOVE OYU ENOUGH TO COME ALL THE WAY,THUS, TAKING THE BLAMEOFF YOU AND PUTTING IT ON RICH AND YOU ARE A VICTIM AGAIN.
I am so shocked at how your child swears and you say sh can, you better hopeshe doesn't run with the wrong crowd and find drugs. Swearing is unacceptable andit is immature on your part not to CORRECT THEM FOR IT, Young ladies should never talk like that, and in your own posting boy you had a sailor mouth.

Like Nick said we went from no gifts, no contact, to trips to vegas, 20.000.00, and gifts not being good enough, give the man credit to his kids instead of bashing him, if you stilllhave feelings for him THEY ARE YOUR FEELINGS and you should always discourage yourkids ot hate, it is unhealthy to teach the hatred and no compassion.I truly hope you and your kids get counseling.Money isn't everything and you are being paid so why the phone calls?Why don't you call when your husband is home as well? Take some of Rich's support and get those children in treatment, so they don't grow up as unhappy and mean as you are coming off to be.There's still hope for them.
What they send for the kids b- days and holidays is NOT for you to delegate that they send them CASH ONLY. What kindof person says that?CASH ONLY. His wallet is good enough so he should be good enough to see his kids without the hatred YOU instilled in them for him.You give him absolutely NO credit whatsoever for whathe does or tries to do you bashon it all, gifts aren't goodenough we want cash, NO YOU WANT CASH.He is paying support and he has rights.I truly hope he and kelly find a way while they are minors to get a judgement MAKING them go see him.

Hush falls...........

A silence.............

Can it meant that you have been shamed into silence?

Has the truth or parts of it spoiled the plan to "drag Rich through the mud"?

Nick and Ruth,
Thanks for all the support..... I wish this was not so one sided in the beginning, but we do have to be careful what is said... Too many things are taken out of context and seen only from one side by Sharon.....

I am anxious for the court date, and can't help but wonder if Sharon does not get her way and there is actually a compromise what will happen then on this board?

Angie Dianne listen carefully

Okay you guys as I said before I was a nurse,I worked at a courthouse, okay keep that in mind ,free legal advice here okay :)

Rich HAS to have been served with papers, get the information Case # judge's name if you can, all that you can get address of court, time, date etc. Then, overnite copies of all these postings to the Judge, when she/he sees that she went as far as to post this leaving out some pretty revelant facts, they will, I can tell you look at her in a diferent light, not the VICTIM she portrays herself to be at first, there are major INCONSISTENCIES in her postings and some important ones like, the 20.000.00 she rejected, refusing to take an allexppense paid trip so her kids can see their dad etc,GET MY MEANING:)LETTING HER KIDS SWEAR her swearing about all of you,it would give RICH and Kelly some creditbility , but make sure good or bad to Rich and Kelly you prin them in their entirety, or else Rich looks bad, she comes across here as a mother who thinks her children should be able to swear at adults, she comes across as making it hard for you to communicate with the kids, she doesn't deny the settlement , she doesn't deny the trip, one thinkg courts do not like is one parent pitting their kids against eachother, she even admits harassing phone calls.

I'll bet you the judges reaction will be much like Nick's and mine and the others, who brought up the swearing and bashing. I wish you luck, nobody should teach their kids it is okay to swear at an adult or anyone, and clearly she shows attempts to block Rich and kelly from seeing the kids, the effects are in her daughters posting as well. She admits calling and harassing them, just print these and send them to the courts as RICH's VOICE!

This would be the very smartest thing you could do toget the judge to understand why rich is isolated from them.I hope you do this for Rich an kelly sounds to me they deserve a break with those kids and sharon is hanging on for reasons I cannot explain. her hatred of kelly leads me to believe it is jealousy.GFood Luck and start printing , even if Rich doesn't have the info he knows what county she filed in,and the date it is posted her in fact I think she posted all of it. and Kelly and Rich can get the rest of the info easily, I really think these postings speak volumes of how she is raising those kid and a judge might feel the same way, at least she can't make Rich the COMPLETE bad guy as she tried to do here.

Just a response

Not to muddle in your guys' business, but this is a public forum, and I have an opinion, and an educated concern.

First I'd like to say that I read up until the point where the mother said she was on Neurontin -that is what I'd like to address actually.

I am not on anyone's side - so put down your arms and open your minds for one second.

Neurontin - (and I'm not sure I'm spelling that correctly sorry) is something I was on myself. Before I had my daughter (who is now 1) I had tumors in my leg which caused nerve pain (ie. shooting pains up and down my body) Pain in itself makes people react differently (ie. mood swings - just an fyi.) But the meds given for that pain actually causes many many side effects, that turn people into someone they are not.

Let me tell you when I was on that very same med, I was hallucinating, feelings of suicide, homicide, spiders or "shadows" on the wall, having mood swings. etc etc etc. Not intentionally or knowing I was reacting inappropriately.. I was. They are very adictive, and I can see why she has to have them monitored. (I unintentionaly overdosed on them numerous times) (They don't really ease the pain, they just get you out of your head, so the pain doesn't feel so bad.. the Doctors don't tell you that part.)
They are not a good drug to be on, and I am telling you from one mother to another mother - No matter what the magnitude of the pain, the meds are NOT helping, and I would redirect my meds. Maybe another drug would not help the pain as much, (or so it may seem) but it would save your mind from spinning out of control. I speak from experience.

Having said that - Maybe, just maybe, some of the Richard family can ease up, and try to be understanding, and work the problem rather than becoming part of it. Throwing gas on a fire only ignites it further.

Calling people names doesn't help the situation, nor does it bring resolve. (to either side of the "war") It is apparent that this woman still has feelings for Richard. However, as I said I did not complete the report yet.. It is long, and very insulting to more than just the mom or dad on more occassions than one.

So, the best of luck to all of you.. I'll check in from time to time, and hopefully there can be a resolve.

To the mom - PLEASE consider getting off of that med. - No pain is worse than what it does to your mind. I promise you. I've been there. (I don't know how those types of pain meds are even legal, but they are.)

To all of you -Remember the two children, actually three if the wife has one also, that are involved, and for their sake.. just maybe one of you say I forgive you, let's start again, with peace.

Mom - I promise you, you will not see things the way you see them today, once you are off of those meds.

Just a concerned citizen

No traffic for a while-that is good

Now that there has been no trafic for a while let's update on what has been going on:
Some poor soul in Florida named Sharon Johnson, also happens to be my name, was used in a plastic surgery scam. Her home number was listed, then my cell phone number and my work phone number. Now that is just childish. This poor lady in Florida had to have her phone number changed and after I explained the situation to her and apologized for the childish behavior of some people she understood why her name was picked out of the phone book.

The plastic surgery doctor was in Santa Cruz, CA. Now for those of you who don't live in CA that is about a 45 min. drive from where I live.

I also have mailings in the regular mail now about weight loss, another childish tactic. Start your own blog on people who need to weight loss and on plastic surgery.

The facts still remain the same, the back child support is up to 64,000.00 (and some on change). Richard owes for back medical on the kids and also current medical.

My weight has no barring on how the kids are taken care of or raised. They are both graduating, both very happy, and are very good kids.

I have to leave for work now, so Richard you can't call my work, yet again and say that I am using company time or tell everyone in HR how you don't get to see the kids, yes I do know what you say to them. Concentrate on your own job, stop trying to get me in trouble at my own job. You are grasping at straws, or should I say Kelly is grasping at straws because I already know that Richard will not answer this.

Until the court date!!!!

In addition to what I have already stated....

The only feelings that I have left for this "man", my children's biological father are as follows:

1. It is disturbing and quite upsetting when a parent, who claims to love his children as he does, to go for so long without paying child support or having contact with his kids. This was because he didn't want to go to court and fight for any kind of custody. I have sole legal custody. He has visitation rights which he has never exercised. This reverts back in time. Our divorce was finalized in 1993, he didn't start paying child support until 1998. We seperated in 1991 before my son was born. Did he forget that he had children?? Did that fact just slip his mind?? Then he goes and makes another family, how irresponsible is that when you can't take care of the first one that is here in CA. The only feelings that I have for a person like that is called DISGUST, not love or I want you back-which his wife has mentioned numerous times that I want him back. Get a clue I DIVORCED HIM YOU ARE MORE THEN WELCOME TO HAVE HIM.

2. I am supposed to be satisfied with the outcome because he paid faithfully, which was done by a court order, not because he felt that he had a responsibility to the children, from 1998-2003. Then he was laid off for @ 9 months went back to work and didn't even stay there for a year. He quite for "personal" reasons. I have never had the luxury of quitting a job, I have responsbilities to take care of like the two children that I brought into this world. This was not done by osmosis, he was there at the time of conception. He finally got a job in March 2006, and now he is paying his child support but still hasn't paid for any of the children's medical (current or past).

3. I have been bashed and am now receiving things in the mail for weight loss centers, thank you Kelly for being so concerened about my weight. Yet again more in the mail today. This is the type of family that I want to take a "family" vacation with so that we can all get to know one another. WRONG!!!

4. I am allowed to be upset. I have loved my children from the day that they were brought into this world. I have worked two and three jobs and earned my degree, regardless of the fact that I was on AFDC-which yes he did know that I was on it because I actually have the whole case file.

This is not the raving of a mentally ill person or a side effect from medication that is perscribed for me. This is from a mother who will fight for what rightfully belongs to her children. If you wish to look at it as raving go ahead, my feelings don't get hurt that easily.

Thank you for your concern

Thank you for your concern. This is a nerve blocker medication that controls the spasms from permanent nerve damage that I have from Tarsal Tunnel and Enfracaneal Nerve entrapment. This is not something that happened overnight to me. I have been dealing with the condition for almost two years before I had the surgery done April 1st of last year. The nerve pain that I deal with is in my foot (ankle) and in my lower back. I work very closely with both of my doctors, my regular doctor and my foot doctor. I don't have any side effects from being on the nerve blocker medication, if I did have any side effects, which I have gone over with my family, co-workers, my boss, and my friends, they would have let me know.

Currently, the nerve pain is under control and I am able to work and take care of my kids just fine. I started this to make aware of the fact that my ex husand (whom I don't have feelings for) has fallen way behind in his child support and his responsibilities. I am happily married and have a very full life. I am fighting for what rightfully my children should be receiving from their biological father, no they both have choosen not to have a relationship with him or his side of the family. This is not something that I have done, him and his wife have managed to take care of any future communications with the children (ages 17 and 14).

His wife attacks my weight, and my housing, because there is nothing else for her to attack. She is upset because the country put a lien on their house because he is so far in debt for child support. Retaliation, she wants my family kicked out of our housing, but the children can come and live with them. (Great person there) Richard, their biological father, stated while on speaked phone that he was happy that my mother, whom was living with us, died in our home, and he laughed for days over this. At the time my daughter was also on the phone with him. That sealed ever having a relaationship between him and his two children.

I am bashed for the way that I bring up my children, which is to me honest with them. When it comes to that side of the family, which is now wanting to have contact with my oldest because she is almost 18 years old, the kids are allowed to talk and express their feelings anyway they want. A lot of people find it offensive and I have been told what a terrible person I am for letting my daughter talk to her biological father that way. My children have read all of the court papers, going back to 1993. Richard has never come out to see them, we live in CA he lives in CT. No I will not allow my kids to fly across the country to people whom I don't know personally, and no I will not take a FAMILY vacation with any of them. That is just the simple truth.

We go back to court soon, and all this will be settled.

Sharon

Hi there. I did not mean to say things to offend you, and if I did I am sorry for saying them. I have nothing to do with your case, I am just someone who has read "most" of your report and was concerned. I didn't think you were mentally ill, and never said so. I only gave you advice from what I went through on the same medication.

We must be speaking of different meds because the one I was on was not a nerve blocker.. I've had that before also (mine didn't develope overnight either) a nerve blocker (well the one I had) actually goes into the body with a wire and pinches off the nerve. It is connected to a little machine that you carry on your side. (at least that was the one I had)(It wasn't neurontin) The Neurontin (at least what I was on before surgery) is actually a seizure med. There are not a lot of meds specifically for nerve pain (at least none that were offered to me)

Listen, I'm not a doctor, I am just telling you my experience with what I thought was the same medication you had said, but apparently I was mistaken.

I understand your feelings on Richard not paying child support for a few years, and medical.
It seems you have a lot of animocity built up for him and his new family. Why not try and let go of that?

People say things all the time that are stupid, it should not dictate a future to be had with the children and their father.

What was he supposed to do, be single and lonely forever? You by your own words remarried as well, that is pretty normal as people don't want to live alone all their lives.

You have received more than most reports I've seen in child support. Go after him for the rest of it, but try to be understanding that when all of this is said and done, it's hard to take away the pain that both sides are causing to the situation that should be handled, in my opinion with more concern for the children.

No he didn't step up to the plate like he should have, I agree with you. No he wasn't there on visitation days when he SHOULD have been, that is something the children noticed I'm sure. Is it possible to forgive?

He laughed for days on your speaker phone? I'm not sure I understand how you would know he laughed for days when you live in different states? Unless he stayed on the speaker phone for days? But again, those types of petty nonsense is what is killing the relationship to be had with the father and the children.

More than likely what's going to happen is the damage is already done, and your children will figure it all out when they are in their mid twenties, to early thirties.

Children are not pawns to use in child support games, and it seems your children are already "told" how to feel on the matter throughout the years by their mother, and their father's actions. You all are really hurting the children in this situation, and none of this is doing any good for anyone in my opinion.

Try the family vacation - with an open mind - everyone.. Maybe it could be a lifelong GOOD relationship start for all those involved.

Think about it - wouldn't it be nicer to have christmas together? Wouldn't it be nicer for you and the new wife to be able to be friends and talk about silly things together at the christmas parties, and over thanksgiving meals? Wouldn't laughter far outweigh the drama? How would it make your heart feel to see your daughter give her father a hug, and laugh over silly things together, all the while expanding your relationships with all of them. Only in a perfect world I guess.

Neurontin

Hi again, I had company show when I was submitting the last response. After re-reading it I wanted to make sure I was clear about what I was saying, as I didn't have time to proof read it before I sent it to you.

Again sorry if any comments were offensive, I certainly do not mean them that way. I just wanted to let you know that I decided to look up Neurontin after reading this, and remembering the horrible side effects that I was having from it. I noticed there's a lawsuit going on with that very drug about side effects.. isn't that interesting..?? Tegretol is another one I was put on as Neurontin is extremely expensive (at least here in Oregon it was 300.00 a month for me) I'd have to say Tegretol was less expensive, but also had severe side effects. They both in my opinion should be taken off the market. I also just read they are giving these pills to children! Now that's just crazy!

I just became alarmed when you said neurontin because I remember all the hell my family went through during that time in my life when I was taking that very same drug. More than likely it's working out fine for you, but if someone has to monitor it for you, then it just appears to me that you may be going down the same road I was, once upon a time, before I actually got to live life pain free. (thank you Dr. Hayden for saving my life!)

In any case this report is not about your meds but about your child support case which I am all for you getting what your children are owed for their benefit in life. I just wish that someone would take the initative to stop all the fighting and try to learn to get along, for the benefit of your children as well.

Laura Thanks for Your Response

Laura-You in no way stepped on my toes. I am more then happy to respond to you.

I did read your response this afternoon but I have to wait until I come home to answer. It is a game that Richard and Kelly like to play. The name of this game is if I answer or post anything to this report during my working hours even if I am on my scheduled lunch or break, he picks up the phone, because he is on the East coast, calls my superviors boss and complains that I am using company time to do personal things and since I work for the state I really don't need my job, how he is not allowed to talk with the kids, what a terrible person I am, how dare I harrass him like this, you name it. That just shows the mentality that I have to put up with.

The nerve blocker that I take is in a pill form. I know the one that you are talking about though. I have an Uncle who has that one and it is the only way that he can actually get around without being in pain, actually I think it just manages his pain. Mine is nothing like that. Because of scare tissue build up on the inside of my ankle, it is still pressing on the nerves, which I knew would happen even before I agreed to have the surgery. I have had friends of mine who have been on the pill form and have had the reactions that you are talkling about, but I have none of those reactions at all. I still have some swelling, but it is being managed by an anti-inflamitory. I am actually able to walk more and more each day now and the weight is coming off. I also quite smoking back in March for my son's 14th birthday, so health wise I am doing everything that my doctor's have said for me to do. The only restriction I actually have is that I can't tolerate anything cold on my foot because of the nerve damage. So I do use a heating pad a lot.

The anger and animocity towrad my ex has built up over many years, especially the years when I didn't get any help from him and worked two and three jobs. I do have my bio up on the site that I run for custodial parents FakefordStefvenGetChildSupport. The bio is very matter of fact, taken from court papers. My website is where I channel my "energy" now. I enjoy helping other custodial parents. My kids even helped me with the site and the suggestions as what I should put on it.

Being lonely and single is not what I want for anyone in there life. On the other hand I was brought up to take care of your responsibilities especially when their are children involved. Both parents are responsible, not just one. If you bring more children into this world then you need to work harder to cover your responsibilities.

When I married my current husband we both made the decision not to have anymore children. Just because Richard and Kelly made the choice to have children together still doesn't relinquish his first responsibility which should of been to his first two children, but it wasn't and now I am holding him accountable and he, and the rest of his family don't like it.

Forgiveness is not needed from me. I can't forgive such an irresponsible person, that is just the way that I am, especially after he made my daughter cry and the pain that was on her face. That is a look I never want to see on her face again. The children have heard how he talks to me, how his wife wants us kicked out of our houseing, how fat I am, how I need plastic surgery (that was a reach) and how he was happy about their grandparents divorce and their grandmother's subsequent death. This was said by him to hurt me, but my daughter also heard him, so forgiveness, it may not come at all from them or it may, only time will be able to tell. The laughing for days was an expression.

The children know who love and care about them. His family has only recently decided to get involved, but they have never been involved before. It's like his sister wanting contact, his brother, and the brother's girlfriend (who wouldn't know me if she walked into me or my kids) all thinking that they have a right to be a part of the kids life now. My daughter has told his sister NO, and as for the rest of them, including his mother, they don't want anything to do with them either. Now take into account that my ex-husband has had my address for the past 10 years that I have lived in the same place with the same phone number. His family will always claim that it is my fault, when no one has made the effort until now, because Stefanie is almost 18 now. Stefanie and Steven weren't even worth a birthday card or an acknowledgement that they existed.

If it was a perfect word, we would all get along, we would all take care of our responsibilities and then maybe there would be that family vacation that Richard and Kelly so wanted, and we could have a Christmas together like one big family. Then again maybe world peace will also come around.

This is not television, nor Fantasy Island, this is life and I am not June Cleaver (LOL).

The story will continue.............

Sharon after reading your entire story

Sharon after reading your entire story (very lengthly) on the website you provided I have a few things to say which your probably not going to like much.

First WOW huh, what a life. My opinion is people's actions dictate the outcome.

It appears to me even in your side of the story (I haven't heard Richard's) that Richard's wife tried her best to have that relationship between all of you. She did what a good wife should have done, and that is try to build a good repore with the ex spouse (you) so the father (richard) could know the children, and the children know their father. She seems to have tried to work with you, on more than one occassion. They even provided an all expenses paid vacation for you, and your children to meet them, and have a good time together. My only question is why were you so stubborn as to say NO they have to go to you? What were you going to be out?

Why didn't you take the $20,000.00 that was offered to you? He would have owed approx $3-$6000.00 after you accepted that. You would have lost control of the lien on their home?

However, if Richard would have given that 20k to child support then it would have solved the problem of their lien. YOU don't have to accept it for it to be accepted by SED. It seems you don't want to lose control over the situation, when in all reality, it's not in your control to begin with. If Richard's family was smart they would just pay the money to SED and bypass you altogether.

The only funds you are allowed to sign off or "forgive" in child support cases are funds owed to YOU, not the state. You cannot forgive what is owed to the state, (that is why it was denied by them, they don't "forgive" debt.) Either way your children wouldn't receive one red cent that way. Why would you even consider signing away anything that was actually going to be seen by your children from their father?

I'm sorry but it appears to me you are the one being unreasonable in this situation. Forcing a man to "come to you" instead of working on a good relationship for the children to be had with their father? Signing away funds that your children would actually see from him? Saying well he sent things to them but it took to long.("3 months later") Does that make it not count anymore? It seems nothing they try to do is acceptable to you in my opinion.

It seems that you wanted a war. Well you have succeeded in getting exactly what you wanted, and that is a war between family. Why I am unsure. That is not rational behavior, nor is it good parenting.

It would appear they have given up on trying to be a family with you, (They have exausted all rational ways to allow a child-father relationship to be established) which is sad, as the only ones that are truly affected by this is your children. They are missing out on what could potentially be a good stable family, and there is nothing more real out there than family. I can't even get my daughter's father, or g/f to MEET her, or say one single thing to us.. You should count your blessings, and stop throwing away opportunities.

Your children I am so sorry for. I don't even know where to begin to heal their wounds.

If you want to help your children then do it. Work with their father, and his family. (if you still have any opportunities left)
Compromise is something that EVERY person has to do in life. Accept what is acceptable, dismiss the rest, and move on with your life. Tell your children that your sorry. Putting something like that on your son was irresponsible parenting in my opinion. He was 13, and he wanted to help his mom who was crying because of what "daddy" had done to her. Daddy was trying to give mommy 20,000.00, why were you crying? No I don't understand you, not at all.

The only thing I agreed with at all in your actions, were your not putting your daughter on a plane to go see someone that she did not know. But again, they tried to work around that, it would seem in YOUR side of the story, by having you go on a vacation with them. No you make no sense to me whatsoever. You seem to be the problem here, not the solution.

Also you don't seem to be worried about getting the money that is owed to your children, as you were going to, or did, sign away any money they would have actually received from their father.

It seems the only person playing a game is you. I'm sorry, I have nothing more to say on the matter, and I will stay out of this conversation, as it would appear it is going to continue to be unreasonable, and I have my own dead beat (who is actually one) to deal with.

Once again Sharon - Children are not pawns to use in child support games.

OUT -

Site info.

Laura-if you are interested, or anyone for that fact go to online search, you will find it on there.

Thanks for your reply

Yes I have lived quite a life. One with many ups and downs. But I have survived and I have previded a good home for my children, regardless of whay anyone else thinks.

Kelly, not Richard, did offer many things, things that are normally to good to be true end up being just that. A family vacation with them was never in the cards for us (my husband, me or my kids). Richard was told this. I offered for him to come out here but it was Vegas or nothing, so the end result was nothing.

I don't bargain on the price of my kids. He only offered the 20K because he thought I needed the money that bad, the catch, take off the lein. As you stated I don't have control of the lein, the county does, even though I have been off of the system for 10 years now. The amount that he legally owed was more then what he was offering, as you have said the children are not pawns, as pawns you bargain on a price, I don't bargain on my children's life, they deserve better then that.
You don't know Richard at all, he would say anything and sign anything if he thought he was going to get ahead. Was it guaranteed to receive the 20K, only by his word, which doesn't hold any standing with me once so ever.

In the first place you don't make promises to kids that you don't intend to keep. He promised week after week to send what he was going to send his son. Steven is a very soft spoken person with a big heart. Week after week would go by, he would ask me "did Richard send it to your work yet?" I would have to tell him no but I would call and find out what is happening. It was