The FIRST thing you want to do is get a personal injury attorney. As soon as you sue for your son's injuries, they will get it right on the car damage too. Guaranteed. Almost all attorneys take these cases on contingency.
You never mentioned what state you live in or what state the accident took place in, and that is very important.
For example, here in Florida, the insurer is REQUIRED, ny law, to "make you whole".
This means if the fair market value of your vehicle is $8000 and they want to "total" it and your deductible is $500, you get $7500.
Insurance companies always try to confuse you and that is wrong. The law supercedes the policies of the claims department every time.
DO NOT let them "force" any settlement on you. You DO NOT have to accept any offer.
Get a lawyer right away or you WILL lose.
Good luck.