#1 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, February 10, 2006
POSTED: Friday, February 10, 2006
I have paid out of my pocket for four sets of braces for our two children, this comes to a total of $11384.50. He owes me half of that which is $5,692.25. He also owes Monterey County the sum of $48,938.00.
He rufuses to answer any e-mails that I send to him and he hasn't paid for Bank of America is charging $1.50 any of the medical that he owes me back. There is a website called fakeford.com that has a lot of information/support for custodial parents trying to collect on back support and back medical. On this site there is a bill of rights for non-custodial, unpaying deadbeats that really says exactly how I feel about his rights and responsibilities as a non-parent, it is called "Deadbeat Parent Bill of NO Rights". Anyone trying to collect child support and going through the judicial system should take a look at it and send it to their deadbeat ex. My children have read it and when I get the final order, which will be next week, then I plan on sending all the information and a copy of the NO Rights to the legislators, congress persons, attorney generals, governors and media in both of our areas.
#2 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, February 10, 2006
POSTED: Friday, February 10, 2006
His phone number is (860) 649-3611. His wife feels that it is her business to get involved with the case. That is just wrong. She is not the mother of the children I am!! If anyone has anymore suggestions on what to do please feel free to leave me a message
#3 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Tll - Herndon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, February 11, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, February 11, 2006
Get yourself a good lawyer. If he is remarried and has any refund from taxes you should be able to pick that up. I can't believe that there are actually women out there who support dead beat dads. That says a lot about a woman! I would be careful. It is obvious that neither one of them care very much for YOUR children. Any woman that would entertain the company of a man that doesn't support his children and then turns around and supports HIM is mental. And a father that would go jobless in order to get out of child support is criminal. If he owes that much why isn't his butt in jail? Why isn't his driver's license suspended? I don't know what state you are from but IN VA people go to jail for this, their credit is ruined, and they have no driver's license (they will actually boot your car). Talk a lawyer about this. I can't believe he isn't in jail at this point. Let us know how things turn out. Really the judge should lock him up when you return to court. Children don't eat once a year! They eat every day many times a day. What a jerk!
#4 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, February 11, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, February 11, 2006
Thanks for the support
Right now I am preparing to go to court on 2/15. He still hasn't filed in Response of Declaration of his income and expenses, and it is to late for him to do it. When he received the papers in the mail, his wife called my place of employment to find out what my benefits were and then called my on my work phone to let me know what him and his wife had done. I hit the roof and I have proof, which has already been submitted with the court papers, and a written statement from my Human Resourse Department. That takes absolute stupidity to do.
I do know that he is active in the reserves and I have all of the information on where to send the paperwork once the judgement is handed down, which accourding to the attorney that is representing Monterey County, Ca is in my favor. The next step will be to get him to pay the support amount which has been set at $948.00. If he doesn't pay then I will seek to file a Contempt of Court charge against him.
Last week I did receive a child support check in the amount of $138.00, the first that I have seen since Aug. 2, 2005. He also sent along two packages for the kids, which he had promised to send back in October 2005.
My son, who is 13 stands 5'10" was thrilled with the motorcycle jacket and that motorcycle shirts and the odds and ends for his motorcycle back at his grandfather's house in Mississippi. The things that were sent for my daughter looked as if they were bought first for his other daughter with his current wife, whom I beleive is 11 years old now.
There is no way that this stuff was ment for a 17 year old young lady. There was a tank top (biker) that had chains for straps, very inappropriate for a young lady. When the package arrived I told the kids that it was up to them as to if they wanted to open it.
The week before that happened I found out the he still hadn't paid for my daughters senior trip. I phoned her on her cell phone (which he has informed me that I pay to much for cell phones) and let her know that it still wasn't paid for. She was extremely upset with him and she let him know it. There was a lot said during the conversation on the phone but to make it short she told him that when she grows up she will get his daughter and her to get themselves pregnant, leave the fathers with the children on their own because she wants to be just like him. Of course she ment all of this sarcastically. She asked him how does that make him feel, his reponse was that the decision was up to her.
The saga continues and I do appreciate the response. I will be letting this web site know what the final decree is and then I will be sending the web site along with the Deadbeat Parent Bill of NO Rights to the media, state legislatures, state representatives, governors, district attornies and whomever else I can think of to get the word out on him.
#5 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, February 15, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Today was my court date for the modification of the child support and uncomvered medical costs. The judge has ordered that Child Support be set at $948.00 per month and that any (dental, medical, orthodonic, eye) uncovered medical expenses be split 50/50 between myself and Richard. The only thing that I have left to do is to recalculate the uncovered medical from the time of 4/1/2000-12/31/2005. This will be done and filed with the court and then the final judgement will take place. There has been no response from him or filling of paperwork.
On 1/24/2006 Richard did make a payment of $138.00. Now take into account the last child support check that I received from him was August 2, 2005; that leaves six months months in which NO child support was paid.
Breakdown: 138.00
divided by 6 = 23.00 per month
divided by 4 = 5.75 per week
divided by 2 children = $2.88
The amount that Richard currently owes, because of the "token" that was given to the children maybe to ease his own mind, one can only guess: is $15,378.44 owes to his children and $49,411.04 he owes back to Monterey County. That comes to a grand total of $64,789.48. The interest that accrues on that for this month will be $649.89. This figure doesn't include the back medical which will be heard again in court. There is also a lien on his property that him and his wife own, which legally cannot be taken off until the back support is paid for in full.
For those of us who actually care about the children that we bring into the world, tell me is that enough to cloth and feed and keep shelter over a child's head. Is that enough to pay for medical bills, I say it is not. For those of you out there who are dealing with the same kind of issue with your ex-spouse I can understand where you are coming from and I want to help you fight for what is rightfully belonging to your children. Please look up the site www.fakeford.com (please title the subject line Child Support) or e-mail myself at ssant11801@aol.com and I will forward the message to the site. It will take a lot of cooperation from you, people on your e-mail list, people of their e-mail list and so on to get the word out and make non-custodial parents pay what they are supposed to pay. But please get the work out. Write to your legislatures, congress people, governors, district attorney's, media and let them know that we, the taxpayers, put them in office and if they don't enforce the judgments that are handed down by the courts then they will not be re-elected again. That is what I am planning on doing and I would like to help others out there in the same situation.
#6 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, February 22, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, February 22, 2006
2/15/2006
The court finds that:
The court orders: Matter continued to March 7, 2006 at 8:30 AM in Department 16 (the department number is the only thing that needs to be changed on the paperwork that was just mailed out to you)
Father is to provide the court with an update of all Medical expenses not covered by Insurance (1) one week before the hearing
Request for Un reimbursed Medical was ordered on July 1, 1998.
X Father shall provide health insurance coverage for the child/ren if available at reasonable costs; A Health Insurance Coverage Assignment will issue.
Health Insurance is effective January 15, 2006
Father and Mother stipulate, Father to pay Child Support in the amount of $948.00 per month to the Department of Child Support Services effective January 15, 2006.
*This was the finding of the court for case #DA23891 Child Support. For the month on January you still owe $561.68 and for the month of February you owe $948.00 for a total of $1,509.68. This already puts you in Contempt of Court, for not following the court orders.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES TO STEFANIE AND STEVEN. YOU ARE THE ONE THAT REFUSES TO RESPOND TO ANY COURT PAPERS. SINCE WE CAN'T TALK ON THE PHONE WITHOUT YOUR WIFE GETTING INVOLVED IN OUR BUSINESS, AND HER ACTING AS IF SHE IS THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN, YOU ARE THE ONE THAT IS SOLEY RESPONSIBLE FOR NOT TAKING CARE OF YOUR LEGAL MATTERS. STOP BLAMING ME FOR YOUR Shortcomings AND LACK OF JUDGMENT AND/OR RESPONSIBILITIES, JUST LOOK IN THE MIRROR.
#7 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, March 25, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, March 25, 2006
Now my ex has decided to contact my work to tell them that I use business time to e-mail or phone him. Nice try Richard, just like I told you when I called from my cell phone last night AFTER work, I will get your name out as the person you are, a DEADBEAT. You have made three child support payments in the past 8 months, may you be awarded the Father of the year award. The fact still remains, you owe a lot of money to your two children!! You don't like me e-mailing your Sargent with the National Guard about your lack of being able to take care of your responsibilities or e-mailing the Governor of your state, then learn how to be a man. It is your own fault that the kids don't want anything to do with you, your wife has made sure of that.
Instead of being mad at me be mad at yourself and do something about the situation that you are in. Stop with you threats and lies, just take care of your responsibilities. I will not stop fighting for what is right for the kids. I will keep on working with the groups that I work with, and I will keep on e-mailing the people who are elected to office and make the laws. The kids are the most important people in the world to me and I will continue to fight for their rights.
#8 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, March 25, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, March 25, 2006
Note: I am not a lawyer, nor am I giving law advice, but just a few real-life suggestions that have worked for me.
Three child support payments in the last 3 years? What a loser. That covers what, no food, and maybe shoes and t-shirts? Richard, pay for your kids, you moron.
His "I sent them something" was only for appearances for the judge. Even on a website, that is pretty clear to see. It may have bought you some time, but now send the check, Richard! Don't forget the date, the amount and the signature.
Sharon, I can sympathize with you. I saw what my wife went through with a similar walk-away from her ex, and it's just unbearable to watch. In our case, we filed for abandonment and won, but that was because I was able to pick up the pieces and didn't need the cash he wasn't sending anyway. He did go to jail several times, and he ended up moving to a state where jailtime was not enforced for being a deadbeat, nor were DLs revoked. It just doesn't seem fair that he found haven in a state, but he obviously got the message that he better find ANY solution, because we were not going to let up. I will NOT post what state that was. Sorry, deadbeats.
If Richard is late, even one day, serve him for court. If he doesn't pay, serve him for court. Every month. Eventually the judge will start seeing "familiar faces", and get tired of asking the same questions to the same idiot. They tend to frown on people who ignore their judgements.
He better knock off that stuff at your workplace. Does he not realize that without a job, "you have nothing better to do than put all your attention on him"? I would hint that the next time he starts interfering with your workplace. He shouldn't want that kind of attention. You can ask HR to help you, also, if you have a situation with him "stalking" or "harassing" you (get the idea?). Maybe someone can screen the calls, or you can just hang up. Either way, at least inform them that you have a personal problem that may attempt to interfere with your workplace, and that you do not want it, nor do you have control of what someone else does with your name. If someone at work has faced a similar situation that you trust, bring them with you to HR, so they can shed some "uninvolved mutual" problem solving for your workplace woes. Two people confronting HR with a problem like this is powerful, especially if you feel threatened. And when HR pulls out paper and starts writing notes on your situation, that BECOMES A LEGAL DOCUMENT. Repeat the message you want so that they have to write it down. You have lots of rights - make your OWN notes of what was said and agreed upon - you can easily save your job in much much worse situations if you have your notes. Those are YOUR legal documents.
You're obviously a smart, strong-willed woman, and I applaud your ability to juggle life, kids, work and still have a fighting spirit while that little boy left his responsibilities for a tropical lifestyle with someone who supports him. They richly deserve each other. Maybe together they can come up with your child support. Wouldn't that be a hoot? She could be a cashier at 7-11 to pay for your kids - and judging by her "involvement", seems VERY threatened. Good! Don't back down now! I'd be calling and asking HER when SHE was going to earn the money to feed his kids! Obviously she had little qualms of getting in the sack with someone who had financial and family baggage - and moreso, since she wants "involvement" so much, she can "pitch in" and DO HER PART! Of course, she could quit or not pay, but then Richard would go to jail for contempt. Sounds like a tough break, but you know what? That's what you deserve for abandoning your kids and leaving them high and dry.
I'll keep an eye on this thread, and I wish you the best. Deadbeat Dads are third on my list of people I find most pathetic - right behind Child Abusers and Throw-up Drunks.
#9 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, March 27, 2006
POSTED: Monday, March 27, 2006
First, I have not made sure the kids don't speak with him. We really should speak the truth here and not only what makes you feel better. You clearly said they will have no contact with him until there is child support(which has been being paid since he has been working again) and when court is over. If you need to use me as a pawn then so be it. You obviously are angry with him and have made it your life goal. Don't you think this is unhealthy for yourself and your current marriage? But hey what do I know, I am supposively the one who has fixed it so the kids don't want anything to do with him. I think we should let everyone know that you want them to have no contact. I guess the time you put me on the phone with Stefanie when she was upset with her father was because she wanted nothing to do with me. That makes a lot of sense. When I have the time to devoted a couple of hours I can too write our side of the story. This is enough for now.
#10 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, March 27, 2006
POSTED: Monday, March 27, 2006
Kelly (the wife of the deadbeat who can't pay his own bills) you need to back off from me. You married an irresponsible no good boy, who ran from his responsibilities and is still running ,just behind you now. The reason why there is no contact is because he lies all the time and the kids don't like it, and I detest people that lie.
I, being the adult, and the children's legal guardian will not let my children be hurt or mistreated by you or anyone in that family. They want no contact with you or him. Better yet, have him write the story. But I forgot, he can't answer paperwork either so why would he. He would rather have you, who is not the children's mother, or related to them by blood, be involved in his court situation because he cannot speak for himself. He stated (on speaker phone) that you want us kicked out of our housing, because there is a lien on his and your house for $63,000. Just a little bit of change.
I also have the written report from my HR person on how you phoned pretending to be a prospective empolyee to get my benefit package, or did you forget that one. I have every right to be angry. You don't know him like I do. Your best bet it to leave me alone and tell Rich to pay his child support on time, and pay his medical which I am now posting on this site as being unpaid in the amount of $226.94 which is going up as of tomorrow becuase I have to pick up Steven's contacts, or maybe you would like to pay for them. I see you have to answer for him, because he is not man enough to do it himself. When I make mistakes I own up to them and I have made them and no I will not make them again. Back off!!!
Better yet show me what paperwork he has that shows that he is all caught up on what he owes to his two kids here in CA. Can't can you. Have a nice day, KEllY
#11 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, March 28, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Richard and Kelly-This is being done at my lunch time 11:50am pacific time, just so you can keep track Rich. A few questions for you (or Kelly who does the talking for you)
1. Do you think it okay not to pay child support for 8 months and not have me, the custodial parent, be upset?
2. Do you think it was okay to say that Kelly has reported to my housing to get us kicked out? You said this on speaker phone in front of the kids. Yes Kelly, that is one of the reasons why they don't want to talk with their "father."
3. Is it okay not to take care of your responsibilities, the current medical, which has been mailed to your house, and still remains unpaid?
4. Richard doesn't answer court papers, do you find yourself above the law?
I will continue to fight for the children, and yes they are old enough to make up their own minds and they can contact him if they wish. I will not have him contacting them on the cell phones, I pay for that. He can contact them on the home number which he has, but they won't talk to him. Go ahead and continue to think that I fill their heads with lies about him, I really don't care. I have the paperwork to actually back up what I say, he can't say the same thing.
It is so nice of you to worry about my health and my weight, but as I have said in the replies back to you sighning me up for Jenny Craig and the other weight loss places, don't bother I am under the doctor's care and he says that I am doing fine.
As far as my marriage goes, it is stronger then ever and my husband stands behind what I do, because he knows that it is for a good cause and that I will continue to fight for the rights of the children even when they are grown and out of the house because Rich will still legally owe the money to them.
Maybe you should put your energy into looking for a new man. One that can take care of his responsibilities and act like a real man should.
#12 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, March 28, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Poor Kelly.
Doesn't she realize that one day, when she gets too old, or too fat or too restrictive in the bedroom that Robert will probably divorce her for the next young woman? Or in this case, RICH woman?
And that getting any spouse support to help take care of her will be just as futile? Kelly, you DO recognize this, right? It's so sad to see a grown woman posture, pontificate and stand by a man who has proven himself to be worthless in providing for his kids - and then watch her expect different results from the same person. I guess you can overlook that, Kelly, since he is not "worthless" in providing for YOUR kids right now...
But for someone who would stoop low enough to pick out ways to hurt your husband's ex? It takes a soul-less person to feel good about that.
Glad to see you have so much time to call her employer, and banks about liens.... Because the way I see it, you don't have "a couple of hours" to post responses on the computer. You need to take those precious hours, get back to work and help your deadbeat husband catch up on his child support and pay for his kids. The "baggage" is part of the package, kiddo, and you chose it. Of course, since he's such a great catch, you shouldn't mind helping him take responsibility one bit! At the end of the day, having him around makes it ALL worth it!
Right? Kelly?
#13 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kathy - Vernon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, March 28, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, March 28, 2006
There are always three sides of a story yours, his and the truth. I am a divorced single parent of three wonderful children. My children are 14, 12 & 8 and have contact with their father as much as he wants. The courts ordered my ex to pay $300.00 a week which I knew he could not afford. We as mature adults did not drag our children through the mud or make our family business public.
My children are accustomed to a certain standard of living and why should that change because we as adults could not get along. We made our own arrangements along with his current girlfriend. Who is is involved because she is a part of his life. The money should not be the issue allowing my ex to be an active father is. When we were married he was never home or working. Our divorce was the one thing we could agree on for the sake of our children. They did not ask to be born or to be born to parents that fell out of love. They being our children deserved to have two parents that are happy apart.
I get mad and so does he at times but I would never put him down or fill my kid's heads with bad things about their father. There was plenty of bitterness on both sides but we both agreed that was our problem and decided to divorce each other not our children. Remember children grow up and they will eventually know the truth. I can honestly say that we as parents have kept them out of our financial situations.
Everyone has hard times and not everyone is perfect. My ex is responsible for half of the medical. I carry the insurance and do not work for any State Agency as you do. I do not understand how the medical is so much on your end considering you work for a State university. Have you been taking the tax break every year on 50% of medical or the 100% you claim to be paying. Were your children sick a lot? I really do not understand why you would publicize your exes name and address on a web site when there is a child in that house. How much sense does that make? What kind of a mother are you? your children have not seen their father in a long time you should feel somewhat responsible due to the fact that money is the only thing that you care about. What kind of a parent are you to talk badly about a man that you once loved? You had 2 children with him not by yourself. You have made all the decisions regarding what your children hear you say!
Life is not always perfect money is tight for everyone. I raised my exes son who was 3 when we got together and his mother never paid a dime of child support. He is now 22 years old and has finally had contact with her because I tracked her down. Not for money but so he could get answers from her not me! I never spoke bad about her or filled his head with hate. I encouraged him to keep his mind open and someday his questions would be answered.
I would really be intersted in seeing all the facts because I just do not understand your math. You were receiving child support payments steady up until the past year correct? I know for fact that it has not been 6 years. I also, know that you did not send actual docotr bills or statments YOU drafted a single page of numbers. Why don't you post the actual itemized medical that you are claiming I assume you have copies to back up your claim.
#14 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
I am glad that you have a good relationship with your ex and I applaude that. I have never had that with mine. For the first 7 years after my divorce he ran from job to job and avoided paying his support. When I told his mother that I would take 100.00 a week for support then Suprise he called me at work, mond you I hadn't talked to this person in probably about 6 1/2 years. We worked out an agreement after three hours on the phone when I got home. I hadn't checked my mail in a couple of days and when I did I found court papers from the county that I live in. Come to find out he was married and had another child. I told his lawyer the next morning that the deal was off. He phoned me again and we worked out another arrangement. Legally I was entitled to 1328.00 a month in support. Our arrangement was for 498.00 per month, once I paid 1176.00 out of my own pocket for medical he would pay the next, then everything was to be splity 50/50. Needless to say I received the 498.00 per month but he never paid on the medical, because it was for braces, which both of my children have had 2 sets of braces. That is waht I am going to court on 4/18/2006.
I have never lied to my children when it comes to their biological father, nor will I start lieing to them now. For 7 years I did receive child support on a regular basis. He choose to have no contact with them thoiugh, he had our phone number and never used it, it was always me who would call him and let him know how the kids were doing. He never sent bithday cards or christmas cards or even called on their birthdays. He will tell you that I am the one who prevented him from contact. In actuallity he is the one who never made the attempt.
Even though times are hard, both parents still have a legal responsibility to support their chilren. That is the way that I feel and if you don't agree then we will agree to disagree. My current husband has never got caught in the middle of this situation and I am the one that deals with it. His wife on the other hand chooses to get involved and now sends me e-mails for weight loss centers. I have put his name and phone number on the Rip Off Report because that is my choice. He is a deadbeat and if you don't agree then please move on to someone elses report.
For the past two years it has been like pulling teeth to get him to pay the support he owes to the children. For a year I didn't receive anything for the kids, then for @9 months I did then for 8 months I didn't because he quite his job for person reasons. I have never quite a job because I have responsibilities and I take them seriously. Yes I do tell my children everything, they are old enough to hear the truth. I happen to be a great mom, ask my kids, their teachers, and the people who truely know me. Not the raving of their so called "father" who doesn't care and says things to hurt his daughter. I can say things too. I sure did last night and so did my daughter.
As for the current medical that he owes, yes I have the bills to back it up and yes they have all been paid in full and I can prove it. From the sounds of your response you see things from a different perspective and I do appreciate everyones response.
When it comes to raising my children, I have always done the best that I can. My son along with my daughter and myself see a family therapist because my mother passed away in our homs, she was living with us, and we have all had a difficult time dealing with that issue. Last night he through it in my face that at least his family doesn't have to see a shrink and his wife and him have never seperated or had problems. Yes I do cuse and quite a lot when I am upset, but to bring up the fact that I have us in coulseling is just wrong. I have to get ready for work. Yesturday I received two e-mails from his wife.
e-mail #1
You are FAT You need a diet plan. You need a doctor to prescribe something to stabilize your mood swings. You and your fat alcoholic husband should both stop with the drugs and booze, live your life and stop bothering our family. Richard can not hide behind me , after I saw you picture he sure could have hidden behind you. You claim to know him better than I do. You were with him for a few years , I have been with him for thirteen years. Richard has made our family very happy he is not fat, an alcoholic, or a drug addict. I laughed when you sent Richard you x-mas photo , When you are large than the christmas tree i couldnt help but think how could he ever be with someone so rude looking as you.
Best off luck with you fat loss, you have a long way too go. When your looking for some new cloths i hear coleman make things other than tents.
e-mail #2
Yes you are fat . You choose to use great language in front of the children , great role model. maybe a few more beers should help. Maybe some more pills would calm you down. All will be ended on april 18 maybe then we will see. You are just a mean person.
This is what I deal with. For the past two and a half years I have had back problems and a year ago I had nerve surgery. I have not been able to work out like I used to and I have put on an extra 50 lbs due to my inactivity and pain level. Is it fair to attact a physical problem? He says he doesn't care about my physical problems because all I am is fat and I do need the e-mails that his wife is sending regarding weight loss.
This is what I have to deal with. I am glad that you don't.
More to come....
#15 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
After reading your response and seeing where you live I think that you might even know my ex-husband and his wife. Please don't involve yourself with the situation. As I stated before, you don't know me or know what I have been through, please find another report to answer too. The medical that he owes on is for his son's eye exam and contacts which my insurance DOESN'T cover, or would you also like to see what my benefits are?
Nick-thank you for your support. I do appreciate your comments and suggestions. When we were yelling at each other last night he told both me and my daughter that he never contacted my work. I will have to contact my HR department to get the information so I have it for court
#16 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Kathy - Vernon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
You posted your business publicly in order to be heard and pitied. I do know Kelly and Rich and I have seen your so called back up paperwork. I have a Law Degree and I have reviewed your so called bills. They are not bills they are your handwritten dollar amounts and no court would order anyone to pay without backup paperwork.
Please, why don't you forward that over so maybe this could be resolved as you claim. Personally I think you like the attention. As for you dismissing my opinion it is obvious that you only want to hear that you are right. The other reason could be is that there maybe some truth in what I have to say. As for Nick you are a small minded person who obviously does not need to hear more than one side of a story. I have read your comments and not once have asked Sharon a single question .
Remember there is always three sides to a story and that is why we have a court system in place so there is impartial person to hear all agruments. As a matter of fact your phone call last was very interesting and I see you only explained on your rebuttal what you thought would make you look better. I see you failed to mention the fact that you had your daughter call the house and asked Rich to speak with Kelly and when Rich replied she was not home (because she was out with me) and he doubted that Kelly would call back that infuriated you to the point of taking the phone and going off on him.
This was confirmed by another person that was in the house not counting the eleven year old that you bashed and insulted later that evening. What about the comment of you stating that you were glad his father died? I guess you are right you are a great mom and don't lie to your children you show how to act like a raving loon and that name calling will get you exactly what you want right? I feel pity and sorrow for your children because they do not have a strong willed mother as indicated previously. They have a mother that needs to be the center of attention by broadcasting her children's pain. Suck it up lady you live in housing that is funded by HUD. Which we all know means you pay a discounted rent thanks to the rest of us hard working single mom's who do not use the system and fraud our fellow tax payers.
You make a decent salary and do have the love and support of your current husband. If you are that worried that your children are missing out because monetarily there father has beeen lax in the past year. Then I suggest you continue to keep track (a little better) and when this comes to court deal with it there. Right now your home life seems very unstable and maybe you should focus your energy on your family couseling sessions and stop this bashing you do have the self control right?
#17 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
I am guessing Nick that you know Sharon or really have nothing better to do than look for vulnerable women. First, I will not become restrictive in the bedroom with Robert because I don't know who he is.. I know that my intimacy with Richard is and will be in no danger unlike his past marriage. As far as gaining weight I've got a long way to go before I need weight management, I pride on the fact that when I step on the scale it says 122lbs not TILT.. As for Richard providing for the kids you should know the COMPLETE story not only what someone wants you to know…His kids are not my responsibility as I have been told numerous times when I offered to help. OH, that was left out of this wasn't it??? Your right I don't have a couple hours to post on the computer, I have a life.
Sharon, your little show last night was just to much. It is really a sad thing to bring the kids into it. You really don't give them the option to have contact unless it suits you. Bringing up Dickie was really a morally wrong thing to do and as you have shown in the past we should all expect it from you. I understand there was an attack on your family, right or wrong you should know, as you claim to be responsible parent and person that it was wrong. As you said you have a brain like an elephant and well lets see you certainly have the complete package as well.
#18 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Marsha - Ashland (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
First of all, I want to know what type of woman this Sharon is?? To sit there and publicize your information like that is just so LOW CLASS. I can't even imagine what is running through that simple mind of yours. If I was the father I would print all this out to show your children just exactly how screwed up you really are. I have to say that I agree with this Kathy lady. For you to tell her to stay out of your business is such a joke. You sound more like you can dish it but you certainly don't like to receive it. I don't feel bad for you at all. If your ex- is such a loser then why even bother?? I am a single mother of two very young children. I don't chase after my ex for anything, not because I can afford it, but because I have something called CLASS, PRIDE & VALUES. None of these things will pay my bills but working another job and keeping my children involved in all Sports Programs will give me all the support that I need to make my children feel complete. I can't believe you waste so much time complaining. No woman should need a man that bad. It takes more of a woman to make it on her own instead of sitting and whining like a little bi*%# about what you don't have or didn't get. GROW UP. Like Kathy said, there are 3 sides to every story and I don't see Richard voicing his opinion. He must have more class then all of us. I honestly think you need to stop sobbing. Work for what you want, nothing is free. You're using this child support thing as a crutch because deep down inside you honestly love this Richard and you don't want him out of your life. If you really wanted him out of your life then why isn't he??? Be honest with yourself and everyone reading this.. Move on… Please!!! If you current husband can't handle the financial situation then one of you needs to get a second or 3rd job. What ever it takes to make ends meet. I honestly don't think that money is the issue here, sounds more like a woman who is hurt and wants revenge. You're making us single women who work hard to support our families look bad. You're sending out a message that women can't make it with out support from men. If your current husband is the man that you claim, then tell him to step up to the plate and be the man of the house. He knew that you had luggage and if he isn't willing to help financially support all of you, then it looks like this is STRIKE 2 on your part.
#19 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
About your conversation last night or should I say temper tantrum? (I do believe the 80+ year old neighbors could hear your trap) Again, you did hit a nerve with me when you mentioned Rich's father considering the fact a twelve year old could hear you. (Who couldn't?) How would your kids feel if the loss of your family members were mentioned? In fact how would you feel? Yes, he mentioned a divorce which is a sensitive subject (especially when it comes to you and Rich) but no way you cut it can you compare it to death. Under stressful circumstances we all say things that come to mind. You compared yourself to an elephants brain. Aren't they intelligent?
#20 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
kelly- this is stefanie. you have no right to be all up in the business between my mother, my biological father and me and my brother. you are just tryin to voice an opinion for god knows what reason. and yes i did mean it when i said i hoped my biological fathers, father suffered a lot when he was dying. that was the crulest thing richard has ever said to me to sit there, knowing that i was listening on the phone because i had spoken to him earlier...to sit there and say what (bad names) my grandparents were and that he was happy that they got divorced.
and you know what? i dont feel sorry for rachel hearing it either. maybe know she knows a little of what her father would say just to hurt someones feelings.
you seriously need to take a step back from all this kelly. this issue from now should only include my mother, me and richard.
if you decide on sending my mother another email you will be reported to aol.
your friends need to stay out of it as well. you just need support because you are too scared to stand up for yourself, as was shown last night when i called and asked to speak with you.
dont contact my mother again. you will regret it.
#21 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Kathy - Vernon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
I am a little confused with your math. On 3/4/06 you posted the following dollar amounts:
$ 8,230.88 uncovered medical
$ 5,317.50 principle
$ 2,913.38 interest
$ 1,540.19 Child support
$ 203.69 Medical for Steven
$11,384.50 4 sets of braces
$48,938.00 Monterey County
Well let's look at this you cannot collect interest or principle on Medical expenses. Please refer to your California General Statutes. I am sure if you ask whomever is supplying you with your legal advice to look this up it can be kind of confusing. The 4 sets of braces?? Why on Earth would your two children require two sets of braces each?? If they did then I am sure you can provide detailed dental records they do not throw them out. Look if he owes then he owes but let's reflect back to your divorce papers. Do you have a copy? You clearly did not have any child support ordered. Why was that well that was because you were collecting State Assistance but failed to report that. The money owed to Monterey was for the money you collected and made the decision to be on state welfare instead of getting a job. Let me guess health problems....I am not saying that Rich should not pay what is owed but why should he pay all the money back to Monterey because you made the decision to sit home and leach off the system. That sure does not sound like a strong willed person to me! I went to college had children during that period and mind you had 2 very high risk pregnancy's. Not once did I ever use a Government or State agency to support me or my children. My husband and I married when my second child was 4. So technically I probably would have qualified. My children's father was unable to work due to and very bad injury he received in an accident. I was too proud to become a statistic. I really cannot believe that you have made this such a big issue. I can guarantee you that you have opened a box that I do not think you can handle. I will continue to help Rich and Kelly in their fight to pay what is really owed not your creative numbers. Get your pencil and eraser out because this should not be a way to make money but to collect what is righfully DUE! Best of luck hopefully your children will see this to the end. Not just what you want them to see and hear. Remember they are not small children they are young adults why not teach them to be responsible young adults with respect!
#22 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Nick-Thanks for your support and understanding, it is greatly appreciated when a man acts like a man.
Kelly-Look in the singles adds, don't worry about my weight, and don't it kill you that I had him first and I have two wonderfull loving children that adore their family (mother, step father, grandparents-dead or alive). Find another outlet for your own anger.
Kathy-Your not that great of a lawyer, just seeing it from their side, would never hire you for anything.
Marsha?-I am an advocate for children's child support rights, you don't me. I have worked two and three jobs and put myself through college and I have a degree, a loving husband and children. I have been a single mom, and have spent years sleeping on the floor so my children had a room and food in their mouth. I did it with no help from the deadbeat. If you get along with your ex that is great for you, I don't so get over it.
As far as my mental condition, get over it don't have one. I am just a mother who fights for her children, if you don't like it then move on, because I am, I am moving on for the fight for what is legally due to my kids.
This is exactly how I feel about deadbeats, this is also the last entry from me. Kelly/Rich keep up your campaign. LOL
Deadbeat Parent Bill of NO Rights!
We, the sensible and responsible people of the United States, in an attempt to ensure that all children receive every possible opportunity available to them, and to promote positive behavior as examples for all children, hereby establish some common sense guideline for non-custodial parents and liberal policy makers within the government who appear to be confused by the belief that non-custodial parents are entitled to rights and privileges, and that excuses should be made for irresponsible people who, in virtually every aspect of their lives refuse to accept any responsibility for any of their actions. We hold these truths to be self-evident:
That the rights of children are more important than the rights of irresponsible non-custodial parents and that non-custodial parents and liberal policy makers require a common sense "Bill of NO Rights."
ARTICLE I:
You do not have the right to start a new family if you are unable to financially afford the family that you already have. If you did start a new family, and now argue that paying child support will hurt you current family, then you need to start making sacrifices for both of your families. Get another job. Reduce your standard of living. Stop being selfish and thinking only of yourself.
ARTICLE II:
You do not have a right to an easy life. Non of us has it easy and responsible people are willing to do whatever is necessary to ensure that their children have everything that they need-even if it means working two jobs.
ARTICLE III:
You do not have a right to expect the American taxpayer to provide your children with free health care or to provide you with educational programs or job training. That would be nice- but the rest of us have made sacrifices to obtain insurance for our families and to learnt he skills that are needed to survive in today's world and there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't make those sacrifices too.
ARTICLE IV:
You do not have a right to a reduction in your child support obligation just because you exercise your visitation rights. The emotional well being of your children and your ability to develop a relationship with your children should be your highest priority in life and is worth any financial sacrifices that you will have to make.
ARTICLE V:
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness as long as your pursuit of happiness is not detrimental to others. Your children should not suffer emotionally or financially because of your pursuit of your own individual happiness. If they do, then you should be entitled to absolutely no happiness in your life at all.
ARTICLE VI:
You do not have the right to blame your inability to get a job or pay child support upon your environment; the failure of your own father to be involved in your life; your race or religion; your lack of education or anything else that you may dream up. You are the master of your own destiny and if you can't motivate yourself to learn the lessons to be successful in life, then you have no right to complain when the judge sentences you to jail for contempt of court.
ARTICLE VII:
You do not have the right to withhold the payment of any portion of your child support when you have other bills that need paying. Your children are more important than any other financial obligation that you may have. The only financial right that you have is the right to reduce your standard of living so that all of the needs of your children can be bet. You also have the right to get a second job so that you can meet all of the obligations that you have created for yourself.
ARTICLE VIII:
You do not have the right to demand visitation rights if you do not exercise those rights responsibly and fully. If you have not seen or talked to your children for a number of years, and then demand to see them now that you are having to pay child support, the rights of the children to feel secure with you take precedence over any visitation rights you may believe that you have. If you have repeatedly failed to visit the children after promising them that you would. You have no right to insist that when and if you do show up that you be allowed to exercise the visitation rights that are contained in the court order.
ARTICLE IX:
You do not have the right to complain about the amount of child support that you are required to pay. When you complain, you are putting a dollar value on the lives and well being of your children and demonstrates to everyone that you are self-centered and shallow and do not have the best interests of your children as your top priority in life.
ARTICLE X:
You do not have the right to demand that the custodial parent provide a financial accounting to you for the child support that you are either paying, have paid or are required to pay. No matter what amount you are paying or are required to pay, you are getting an exception value for your expenditures. The amount of support that you are paying does not come anywhere near the costs of raising a child. The custodial parent is making far greater financial sacrifices-and devoting his/her entire life to the children and doing the best that he/she knows how to.
ARTICLE XI:
You do not have the right to have the child support obligation reduced because you buy school clothes for your children or have the children for a few weeks during the summer or over the holidays. The costs of maintaining a home for the children continues whether they are there or not.
ARTICLE XII:
You do not have the right to relinquish your parental rights just because you do not want to pay child support. If you do not have a relationship with your children, it is solely and 100% your fault. If you claim that you don't have that relationship because the custodial parent denied you visitation you are living in a fantasy world.
ARTICLE XIII:
You do not have the right to complain about the manner in which the custodial parent is raising the children. If you do not like what is being done with the children, you do have the right to get involved and help the custodial parent by spending more time with your children. If you do not exercise that singular right, then you are entitled to no other rights at all.
ARTICLE XIV:
You do not have the right to expect some other man or woman that is involved in the lives of your children to provide full financial support for them. That man/woman is not there to replace you, the biological parent and that person will never be able to take your place in the lives of your children unless you, by virtue of your own actions, allow that to happen. If you allow the "step-parent" to replace you in the lives of your children, then the "step-parent" has every right in the world to insist that you act responsible for once in your life and insist-and demand- that you contribute financially to the well being of your children.
ARTICLE XV:
You do not have the right to expect-or to ask-the courts to grant you leniency when you have failed to pay the child support that has been ordered. You acted irresponsibly, and as compensation to the custodial parent who had to make sacrifice after sacrifice while your were not paying child support, you now should be required to make sacrifices as well. Life is not a one way street. You should be held fully and completely accountable for your actions and are entitled to no considerations or concessions. You are not a victim of the judicial system-or what it may do to you as a result of your irresponsible actions. You put yourself in that position. At that point, you are no different than any other criminal who has demonstrated that he/she is unable to live by the rules of society.
Sharon
#23 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Michael - Port Richey (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
For the longest time I have sat on the side lines and just lets these two gripe back and forth.
However I do feel the need to chime in at this point,
Please tell me you expected more from your life, when you got pregnant by hanging around an army barracks giving oral sex for a 40 oz of old english.
please Sharon please tell us all again that you weren't just playing you own version of " An Officer And A Gentleman". please tell us you had those two children for more than just army benifit.
Now as I said I stayed on the side lines and just let you all go at each other for many many years.
What has finially prompted me to say anything is a comment you sharon have made about one of the only men I have ever respected. The most Loving men I have ever met. the only true hero in my life.
Sharon did you actually tell my brother with in weeks of it having been a year sents our father died that you were glad he was dead?
That man opened his home to you and you said that......
Sharon give the key to the lock box where your new husband keeps those pain kills locked up back to him. Put the beer down. Sobber up and get clue. now my brother is a grown man and can defend himself. I really don't care what you say to each other. Its not my business I don't care I what goes on between you all.
I had to stop caring after years of trying to contact the children and their mother not leting me. Yes there is an uncle that has not seen his neice in 16 years and has never meet his nephew.
Sharon I have formed my opinions about you years ago because of that. I did not think you would be so low as to say you were glad our father was dead.
I had hoped that when the children turned 18 and where no longer under you controll I would be able to see them. Now I see you have poisoned there minds. Then again look what type of trash has raised them.
Michael
Brother of Richard
CLICK here to see why Rip-off Report, as a matter of policy, deleted either a phone number, link or e-mail address from this Report.
#24 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
The fact is it DOES take two people to make children, and it does take TWO people to support them, mothers going after child support are not greedy, they just want their kids to have the lifestyle that they have always had. Wifey #2 calling your mother fat is insensitive and just what one would expect from the "new wife"wait until daddy leaves her with a couple kids and moves on to the next woman and she if she doesn't demand child support!
The truth is, HE CHOSE TO MAKE THOSE KIDS AND HE SHOULD HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT, she holds them when they cry, she sits with them in th ER all night when they are sick, she goes to conferences, and sports if they play, she makes sure their homework is done, and she is the last parent to kiss them good night, all daddy has to do is write a check, and seems to me he can't speak for himself or write a check and wifey #2 is doing all the talking. ATTACKING ONES WEIGHT is inexcusable and I hope to god you put on 300 lbs just so you shut your ignorant mouth on that subject. WHY on earth would you try to get the mother of your husbands children fired , so they can be homeless? while yours isn't?
Pay that woman for taking care of the children and be a man!
#25 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Vanessa - Port Richey (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Sharon,
I am your ex-brother in laws current girlfriend. Let me first start by saying that I am not one of Richard's fans, but these are the facts as I understand them.
1.) In your original divorce decree, NO CHILD SUPPORT was ordered, because you were on STATE ASSISTANCE, and didn't want it, as it would have caused you to lose your STATE ASSISTANCE. However, in your dishonesty, you wanted Rich to pay you 'under the table'. He refused, understandably. I would have refused also.
2.) Seven years later, upon completion of your State Assisted schooling, you went after Rich for back child support. Which he paid for an additional nine years, including $98.00 a month for medical coverage that you woudn't use.
3.) About six years ago, you had the State of California file for back child support for those very first seven years. At that point, Rich was paying child support AND back child support. Then YOU attempted to collect it. That money is owed to the State of California, NOT YOU.
4.) You claim that Rich owes you for the kids braces and eye glasses, yet you cannot produce these bills? And you claim that they go back to 1998??? It seems rather conveinent that now that your daughter is about to turn 18 and you are going to lose her monthly income that you are coming up with 'so-called' bills that you cannot produce?
Have you ever heard of Munchhausen by Proxy Syndrome? It's when parents 'make', 'convince' their children that they are in some way 'sick' so that they can gain sympathy, collect disability, etc. I think you see where this is going.
(AND.... IF INDEED those medical bills are legitimate, then I ABSOLUTELY AGREE that Rich should have to pay for half of them whether he is 'legally obligated' or not. Just because insurance companies (those SOB's) consider it 'cosmetic'... doesn't mean that Dad should be able to shirk it.
AND two more quick points here.... how can ONE person have TWO sets of braces? and usually, the eye 'exam' is free if you purchase the glasses and/or contacts.
And since I just read the post from your daughter, I must say.... you are a LOUSY parent. What a nasty young brat... No wonder he sent her inappropriate clothing for a young "lady".... that child is no "lady." Obviously she has been infected with YOUR venom and hatred. Maybe if you spent more time teaching her to have compassion and less time trying to "get" Rich, she wouldn't be so EVIL... that remark made about Dickie, did not hurt JUST Rich, it hurt Dianne, Kelly, Angie, Rachel, and Michael and probably all the other grandkids, but while Rachel was unfortunate enough to hear YOU, Im sure Angie, by not speaking with YOU, will be able to spare her children such trauma, something a "good" parent does.... something you obviously know nothing about. Spend more time with your kids and less time whining to people on the Internet who couldn't help you even if you were right.
And to Stefanie...
You have a lot to learn little girl. Nastiness such as yours will get you in life exactly what it is has gotten your mother.... nothing less than a life of constant struggle and desperation. What you said about your grandfather was 100% wrong. You hurt your Uncle Mike terribly... and though you don't know him, I can assure you, no other uncle would have loved you more, had he been allowed a relationship with you that your mother denied both of you. I know this because I see him with his other nieces and nephews, with kids who call him Uncle Mikey even though they are of no relation, and by how much he loves our brand new baby. You need to see your mother for what she is.... a desperate, mean, vindictive, spiteful, hateful woman. Your father has his faults too, Im sure, as I've said, Im no fan, but.... the HATE you have for him is UNCALLED FOR based on what I can see of your mother. You owe Michael, Angie, Rachel and Dianne an apology for what you said about Dickie... part of being a grown up is to know that you don't hurt "everyone" just so you can hurt "ONE"...... get some help and get over this emotional trauma that your mother has subjected you to before you spend your life in unhealthy relationships that will cause you to turn to booze and drugs and abusive situations... cause that is what happens to women who play the VICTIM, which is what your mother does and has taught you to do.
-Vanessa
#26 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Vanessa - Port Richey (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
YOU DID NOT PUT YOURSELF THROUGH SHCOOL.... YOUR STATE DID.
RESPONSIBLE??? FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND, YOUR DOCTOR WRITES YOUR PAIN PILL SCRIPTS TO YOUR HUSBAND AND HE HAS TO LOCK THEM UP AND DOLE THEM OUT TO YOU.
RESPONSIBLE??? YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO REFUSE TO ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO SEE THE 'NON-CUSTODIAL' PARENT FOR ALL THE YEARS HE DID PAY SUPPORT AND THEN CLAIM THAT YOU WON'T LET HIM SEE THEM BECAUSE HE ISN'T PAYING.
RESPONSIBLE... WHAT KIND OF RESPONSIBLE PARENT TEACHES THEIR CHILD TO WISH SUFFERING ON A PERSON THEY NEVER EVEN MET....
WHAT KIND OF RESPONSIBLE PARENT SETS AN EXAMPLE TO THEIR CHILDREN TO REQUEST BEING "PAID UNDER THE TABLE" SO YOU CAN COLLECT STATE ASSISTANCE?
PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH.
#27 Individual Responds
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Stefanie and Sharon,
First of all Stefanie I have a few things to clear up and say to you. I would call but know that it would be a screaming match and I'm just not into that nonsense. I do not hide from anyone and at your age, even being a young adult you have no right to speak to an adult the way you have. Whether you have respect for me or not this is not proper behavior and it is the ?adults? of the house responsibility to make sure it doesn't happen. Again, everyone has different standards and morals they live by. Apparently, in your house they are different from the norm. Second, I don't need to be told by you to take a step back maybe it is acceptable to speak to others like that but I don't find it acceptable.
As for Richard as you would call him, I do know he had no idea that it was on speaker phone and that you were listening. I feel no need to have my friends stick up for me it would be called concern and friendship. Friends are suppose to be supportive and stand behind you. I am sorry if either one of you can't develop relationships like that. Although, if you show the same kind of respect to your friends the way you have responded here they won't stick around.
I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and quite independent. I have a good self-esteem, self confidence, don't engage in self pity and don't have to crusade to get others to join my pity party , I would say I am a few steps ahead.
I don't need to be threatened either by you or your mother. I don't at all find it intimidating and if it makes you feel better ,again so be it. I did not realize Stefanie it was you who made this comment about Rich's father. He did not intentionally hurt you but anything he said and I know this will not be believed by you . You have crossed a line where there is no turning back. To hope that someone died a horrific death is just ignorant , uncompassionate and ruthless. I guess children grow to be a product of their parents (parent in this case, Richard is not involved as you point out over and over and over again) You are in a no win situation Stefanie, to have a lack of compassion won't get you further later in life especially wanting to be in the medical field. I really would like to say I feel bad for the both of you but at this time I just can't.
As the circle of life goes on it all eventually comes to an end and at some point you both will experience the unfortunate time of a death where the person suffers. At that point, you will both hopefully mature to understand that no matter what the circumstance are you never make comments such as you did.
As for Rachel she was close to her grandfather as you were to your grandmother / Mother. Are you having a tough time with it? Would you Sharon or Stefanie like those things said to you? Instead all he mentioned was a divorce which is comparing apples to oranges. Again, anyone with any kind of compassion or respect for any type of life whether it be an animal or person wouldn't say these things. Life is to valuable and precious and to have it taken away in a horrific manner. In fact, any manner at all it is one of the most difficult things to witness and be a part of. Thought you would have understood this after experiencing it yourselves.
As far as it being my business, I am constantly reminded it is my responsibility too. Which is it? Is it only my responsibility if money is involved or there is presents to purchase? (because I do the shopping) Oh, I forgot it's only between you/Sharon, Stefanie and Richard (aka sperm donor)
Unfortunately, when Rachel and my household is affected it becomes my business. I let the charades go on for years and only when you-Sharon decided to leave nasty messages where I had to protect the interest of my child did I get involved. You have claimed you are only protecting the best interest of the kids. Am I not expected to do the same? Bit of a double standard there, don't you think? I really don't want to be involved in your ongoing obsession with Rich.
As for your brother we never hear anything from him or about him. I take it he just doesn't want to be bothered with all this. I know he is more sensitive and I certainly hope he isn't subjected to all the bashing and coldness.
As for the idea Sharon not writing this and having Stefanie to write not to contact you or I will regret it who is the one really hiding here? Please feel free to call anytime if I am here I will talk. I don't have to answer to you as to why I couldn't take the call last night.
#28 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Don't need to look in the singles adds. Thanks for the great advice--LOL. As for you having him first well let's just say who else did during that time????? One would have to ask. Couldn't have been that good.. You are right about one thing Nick is great support due to the fact he feeds you what you want to hear, when he can make sense.. I do agree this is getting no where and since you feel it is a great influence for the kids I really have to questions a lot of things.. I know it's in their best interest to read and be subjected to all this in your opinion.
#29 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Kathy - Vernon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
Sharon,
I really do not care what you think of me but really what are you basing your opinions on. I clearly stated that he should pay what he really owes not your ficticious dollar amounts! As for miding my own business you opened the door to let everyone into YOUR business so deal with it. I can see by your ignorance that you thought that this would hurt Rich. But in fact what you have done is brought his friends and family that really do care about him together and we have shown him that we support and applaud him for having to deal with an unstable nut case. The ones to pity are the ALL the children involved. Well hopefully Stefanie will go away to college and get out of your troubled home. I mean that sincerely! She needs to be exposed to a more productive life and from what I understand she wants to be in the Medical field. I applaud that and hope she can find happiness that she has lacked in her youth. We as parents need to be held accountable for ALL actions. Whether they be financial or nurturing. You have alot of issues and maybe you should print all this and bring it with you to counseling. This I am sure would be considered unhealthy in all aspects. Deal with your money issues in court. But your public cry for help is not necessary you are only doing this for revenge! How sad after all these years apart you still harbor so much love that you are angry.
Stefanie,
It is natural to want to defend your mother no matter what she has done or can do she will always be your mother. Remember you do have a biological father who has not had the opportunity to be a part of your life. Someday you will know all truths and then and only then should you make judgement. Don't get me wrong you have every right to be angry but try not to carry that anger through your adult life. It will only bring heartbreak.
Sharon,
Hopefully you are done with your little game that you started on this web site. I really think you should allow the space for people with issues that need help being resolved. You will have your day in court just make sure you have all your paperwork to back yourself up and then you should get what you are intitled to. This should not be a way to supplement income. You should only get what is really owed to you.
#30 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
Kelly-May you have a good life.
Michael-May you have a good life and a healthy baby.
Vanessa-May you have a good life and a healthy baby.
As far as court goes.
Richard owes $15,999.09 in back child support.
Richard ows the county $49,649.66
Richard owes in current medical 226.94
We go to court for the back uncovered medical costs. These are the facts that are undisputed. You can have your "attorney friend" look at all the paperwork you want and even hire an attorney out here. The question would be "how can you hire an attorney, but not pay your support?"
As far as the children are concerned Stefanie and already voiced her opinion. Steven doesn't want any contact and how dare you (Richard) say that it is my fault for their counseling (and mine) for the fact of their grandmother passing away in front of Steven and him not being able to help. He was only 12 years old when this happened. The last words she said was "I'll see you at home honey, Steven made it home too." You have made light of the fact that we are going through counseling and you made your daughter cry, those were hurful things. Any communicate you want to have with the children go through the mediation process with them and see if they will talk with you. What you have said and both have heard regarding myself, their stepfather, and their grandparents, YOU have done the damage. You can say what you want and so can your family. All this time none of them have wanted contact because I am such a bad person. That is in your eyes and anyone else who knows you but not me. Kelly talks trash about me and my weight not knowing what my medical conditon is as far as the nerve damamge goes and the surgeries that I have had to have.
I went on assistance becuase I had no money, you had just got laid off from work and told me the only way was for me to go down while we lived in Vallejo and get assistance because we lost the medical to and I was pregnant. When I came home in tears after taking Stefanie with me because you wouldn't watch her, I told you about the type of people that were down there. Dirty, nasty people. Shortly after that I did leave you, for good. When I came home no one would hire me because I was 6 months pregnant and no health insurance. Thank you for calling my case worker and telling them that I had 25,000.00 in my madien name at Bank of America. That is on record. I worked part time after having Steven at the college, yes the case worker did know that. After putting myself through college and making sure that the children were taken care of I went to work full-time and was finally able to get off of the system and afford an apartment for me and the children. I am a sucess story, most people stay on the system, I didn't, I revecied my degree and went to work. I have always worked and have worked as much as I can to take care of the kids.
Now all these years later your family wants contact. That is a joke. The kids don't want contact with people who never cared enough in the first place when they were growing up. So don't even try with all of your family. If you want to see your kids so bad come to CA. Get the money from your wife to pay for the ticket, show up at my house, and ask to see the kids. See what they say. Instead of Bashing me for my weight or for "brainwashing" my children, show up and ask to see them? It is your right, exercise it. Go ahead, what is stopping you?
It is obvious that no one in your family works because of all the traffic on this site. But I have a job to do.
Take care and have a great day!
#31 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
ALL of you have called eachother names and picked on a persons weight which is wrong by any standards,it is a non issue you wrote about her making her children hate their father, yet you also call her fat and so what if her husband has to lock up her prescriptions i had to lock my parents up too and i am 42 years old, problem is my mom had 5 yes 5 back surgeries, she has been given pain pills since I was 15 and her accident happened, then my dad was dying and she would eat his, it was her addiction she loved my dad very much and heloved her as well, people with back problems, I might add i have had multiple surgeries myself on my lower back due to an accident( not my fault) an I too take pain meds, the only reson I think I don't abuse them is I was a nurse for a long time until I got hurt.
Attacking this mothers weight in a posting is just mean, I have gain a few paounds too but I still only weigh 138lbs, but it due to the not being able to work out, becuase back pain is intense andit DOES inhibit your mobilty,People that have had back surgeries are going to be on some kindof medication the rest of their life, that can't be helped, but basically the name calling and fighting , your kids are hearing all this and do you thinkit is right todo that in front of them?! of course not. So as I read through these postings I thanked God my husband and I when we argue we have a rule NOT to do it ION FRONT OF THE KIDS OR INVOLVE THEM IN ANY WAY.
if child support is owed then pay it for crying out loud, but all you are doing by attacking eachother is hurting those poor kids. they hear it and they love both parents ( even if they won't admit it)i would suggest you all hit the hearest family counseling center before you ruin those kids' life or deprive them of a parent they love and need and learn to blend your family, insteadof hurting one another, I might ask what have you accomplished with all the name calling and hatred? I will tell you you have hurt innocent kids thats what.For the brother in law: did you really think you were going to help that little girl by saying the things you said? She has enough NEGATIVE INPUT now, you should start giving her positive input, fact is this couple divorced becuase THEY didn't get along, dad should be paying support if it is owed, and she shouldn't have to jump through hoops for it, and dad should be there for his kids as well afterall, you divorced eachother , you didn't divorce your kids.
And the new wife, should never, ever, bring her weight into it, it has nothing to do with the fact this is these kids dad may owe support, it is just a way to hurt his ex.i don't understand what you get out of that, except more negative input for the kids.
#32 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Elizabeth - Saint Charles (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
Shame on all of you. No matter your relationship with your ex your children should NEVER be part of a money dispute. My ex is VERY responsible and never in 16 years has he missed a payment but when we disagreed about raises in child support that was between US not the children and us. I may not like him a whole lot and he may not like me but we support each other for the sake of our children and raise our children to RESPECT your elders and especially your family. You people are airing your dirty laundry like poor trash. You all belong on Jerry Springer and your kids belong in a better home being taught proper values that apparently none of you learned when you were young. I heard somewhere someone once say, "You have to love your kids more than you hate your ex." You all could learn A LOT from that statement.
Now I'm going to go hug my kids and thank god that I have cable so I can see you all when you get on some trashy talk show.
#33 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Jim - Bethany (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
Hello Sharon, I Look within some of the articles on various sites. Want to type few words in here, I try my best to understand all post I read. I'm not really smart in a lot of ways myself for most of my life. Everything from here too there is being recorded by not just our computers. There is this place with the largest computer that was ever designed. It records ever deception from the smallest to the greatest. Anyone that would want to know this will desire it. Deception is and has been the earth's greatest pain. We all will pay the price of knowing, but not acting under our individual knowledge.
"WE ALL TRY OR DO WHAT WE REALLY WANT TOO!?
#34 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
Kathy said:
As for Nick you are a small minded person who obviously does not need to hear more than one side of a story. I have read your comments and not once have asked Sharon a single question .
Small minded, perhaps. Never did I claim to be Shakespeare or Aristotle. How about a man so small minded that he can't even respond to his own ex-wife, but has his NEW wife doing his fighting?
Exactly HOW MANY questions should I have asked, Kathy? Is it so unbelievable that I could sympathize with a woman who struggles with life and kids while her new husband enjoys his "new found freedom", without paying his obligations?
Kathy ALSO said:
Suck it up lady you live in housing that is funded by HUD. Which we all know means you pay a discounted rent thanks to the rest of us hard working single mom's who do not use the system and fraud our fellow tax payers.
HUD is not fraud. It MIGHT be useful someday for someone who has, say, a $62,000 lien on their house in case they lose it. It's for THOSEE WHO NEED IT. Just like child support. It's for THOSE WHO NEED IT for taking care of the kids. Why is Sharon and her kids in HUD housing, while her husband who doesn't even consistently pay child support lives in a house without HUD supplementation? Answer: DEADBEAT.
You'd rather have the less than $20 dollars a year of federal money in your pocket so other people can be homeless? Please don't say yes.
Kelly said:
I am guessing Nick that you know Sharon or really have nothing better to do than look for vulnerable women.
I don't know Sharon, and how dare you accuse me of looking "for vulnerable women". I am happily married and fully employed - and ROR doesn't even allow the exchange of information between people.
Kelly said:
As for Richard providing for the kids you should know the COMPLETE story not only what someone wants you to know...
Then where is he? His defense is absent. I can only draw my opinion based on what I see. The fact his new wife so viciously defends him is a story that says something! He is aware, and has "representation" here. Your side of the story is name calling. What else am I supposed to think?
Kelly said:
Your right I don't have a couple hours to post on the computer, I have a life.
And here you are, with numerous, long posts, and you brought friends. Fault me for taking sides with one "stranger" over "another" if you must, but I call it like I see it.
Marsha:
I don't chase after my ex for anything, not because I can afford it, but because I have something called CLASS, PRIDE & VALUES.
Great. Why don't you fry that up and feed it to your kids for dinner tonight? It goes great with a nice hot cup of goodforyou.
Richard's BROTHER:
Please tell me you expected more from your life, when you got pregnant by hanging around an army barracks giving oral sex for a 40 oz of old english.
And your dad raised you and your brother to look for women by giving chicks 40oz of Old English in exchange for oral sex? You're making a huge production about your dad's honor and all, and I can see the results of his legacy.
Regardless, even if Sharon was "that cheap", then your brother obviously went for it - so the question demands an answer - Was hot-new-skinny-Kelly acquired with something of higher class, such as a bottle of Smirnoff or a litre of Jagermeister?
Either way, he IS responsible for his kids, which IS the bottom line.
All this name calling and accusations only delays the inevitable - Richard owes money!
Richard's BROTHER:
now my brother is a grown man and can defend himself.
No, Richard needs his brother and his new skinny wife to fight his battles.
Oh, and make that also Richard's brother's GIRLFRIEND, whose defense is to call Sharon's daughter EVIL. Why not sign the family dog up for an account, so he can tell us how he was never fed and always kicked? Does THAT pay the child support?
Kelly:
You are right about one thing Nick is great support due to the fact he feeds you what you want to hear
Don't use me as a smokescreen. Richard owes child support. Sharon says that Richard owes $15,999.09, so if this amount isn't right, then what IS the right amount? And when will he pay?
Either way, why is he sending $100 checks? That's ridiculous. You may not like it, you may not think its fair. But if that's the court order, Sharon has every right to go after it. If it's unfair, then bring your case BACK to court and argue the child support amounts in front of a judge and get a new judgement. I don't see you providing any OTHER figures of what Richard owes, so let's hear YOUR side!
Sharon's condition, "drug" or weight problem, and attitude isn't the issue. She is owed the money, and if, upon receiving it, she lights it on fire or flushes it down the toilet or buys a new Mercedes Benz is not any of your concern, and you have no say in it anyway.
But she said the court has ordered child support, and a man who ignores that is breaking the law. IS THIS WRONG? I have seen NO-ONE argue that point, so again, fault me if I assume your silence construdes as approval.
Again, a man wouldn't find excuses.
A man wouldn't hide behind his new wife.
He would find solutions and pay what is owed.
#35 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Angie - Norfolk (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
Sharon,
I applaud you for stepping up to the plate, not letting anyone down and showing the whole world what a wack you are!
This is ridiculous! You have clearly come to this web site to try to find support and clearly have only opened a line of communication between Rich's family and you. Not the communication you were hoping for and not the communication I would have hoped for, not ever having been able to contact you or my niece and nephew, but an avenue for communication just the same.
I can clearly see this is not your original intent, your intent was to "drag Rich's name through the mud!" Now that this has not succeeded you are attacking anyone who has responded. (Except Nick, your beloved supporter who apparently does not want to see the truth here) The truth is that your side of the story would be tainted to only make you look like the hero. And trust me no one is calling Rich a hero, but he is far from the "deadbeat" that you have tried unsuccessfully to paint him as.
Rich tried to have contact with the children when they were small and what did you accuse him of? You accused him of trying to kidnap your children, and wasn't there a point were he could only have supervised visitation, (Another way to try to win him back as we all saw it). When he moved out of state back to his family you had no contact until one day you get some kind of bug up your but to call his parents to try to get money from him. Never did you ask him to visit his children.
Now after all this time his daughter calls and has some contact with him, and poof you decide to go balls to the walls when he gets laid off. Never in any of your ramblings do you state that he has paid child support for all these years, that he supplied medical insurance which you would not use, and never do you state that part of that child support was designated for you to obtain medical insurance, which you receive through your job for free.
You leave out allot of detail when telling your story, like the fact that the original divorce does not even address support issues. Like the fact that only after you found out that Rich was happy and had had another child did you ask or demand support. Only after you learn that Rich's current wife Kelly came into a little inheritance money do you want to go after Rich again for money?
And speaking of inheritance money, I am appalled that you would not have stopped your daughter from saying those comments about my father suffering in his death. You have no idea the absolute ignorance you have by allowing any child to speak to anyone the way that she spoke to Rich. (And your daughter is a child at 17 years old)
I am all for allowing children to voice an opinion and have a say in what happens in their own lives, after all we only shape and develop children to become independent on their own. But what you have done here is allow your children to only see your side of anything. To allow a child to have a voice and be respectful while doing so would be more productive and would actually make for a better more well developed child. Never the less you condone her behavior and think that is perfectly ok for her to use the kind of cuss words she uses on the phone with her father. That just tells you how she was raised. No values, no morals and with no respect for others.
Where is your son, whom apparently has all these issues with his father while you get on the phone and rant and ramble on the phone?
I commend you for putting your self through school (with the states help), I applaud you for sleeping on the floor so that your children could have a place to sleep (but wasn't that because your drunken husband (The current one) burned down your apartment!)
Lot's of people go through this with divorce but a very small majority of them decide they are the ones owed. I was divorced, not once did I call my ex's mother up and beg for money or refuse gifts and only ask for money.
Why start ranting and raving about how irresponsible anyone is before you actually go to court. As for this entire unpaid medical and all, have you ever sent a bill, a real live bill to Rich, no you tell him what he owes over the phone or submit a list but not actual bills... Would you pay an electric payment without seeing an actual reading of the electric meter? (Bad analogy you probably do not pay electric in government assisted housing) But I think you can see were I am going here regardless.
One more question before I close......... What is the actual reason your children do not have anything to do with their father? In one blog you say it is because he doesn't pay child support, in the next it is because of Kelly, In another you said because Rich lies, in another you claim they are sticking up for you...Is it because for so many years you and your parents referred to him as the sperm donor? Which is it?
You started this blog, now when people stick up for Rich and actually make sense while doing so you go all freaky. People have stuck up for you as well not seeing the whole story; unfortunately they seem to not stick to the case at hand and do not make any sense.
#36 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
Here is the e-mail that you wrote-YOU are not the type of person that I want having contact with my children.
Again-no one in this "family" has wanted contact until now. Why? So you can tell my kids what a wonderful person I am, not by your e-mail
Stop sending me this S***!!!!
I am not interested in how you are trying to once again, drag my brother throught he mud.....
You act like he is the only one to blame here......Do you forget that you did not let him see or speak to those children for years....the only time they were allowed to callwas to ask for money and thenyou would ge ton the phone in your drunken, drugged up state to either yell him at or try to seduce him over the phone....
Do you forget he paid when he was working.......
Do you forget that he not he not only paid you $98.00 a month for insurance that you get for free he had insurance for them that you refused to use......
Take ME OFF you email list or this will get ugle...
Richard didn't contact me until I told your mother I would even take $100.00 a week for support. Then after everything was worked out I tried to set up contact with him and the kids, he stated that the kids were the ones who had to initiate the contact. He never wanted to have contact. How many different ways can I say it.
How did Stefanie respond to you. Didn't like it did you. My children have their own minds and I let them express whatever they want when it comes to this "family". You claim to love them so much and how come there is no room for love in their hearts for you or your other "family" members, because you all attack the one person who truly has been there for them, me, their mom. Don't hear from any of you for years, now you all come out and do nothing but attack. All of you, grow up, stay out of MY life, the children don't want you near them...how much clearer does this need to be to you. Steven won't say a word to Richard because he hears how he talks to me. You don't like the way I raise my kids, get over it, never heard from anyone of you till now, that I am reopening the case and actually fighting for what the kids are legally entitled too. If you want to show him support more power to you. He is your family, I am not your family, so of course you are going to attack me. If that makes you all feel better go right ahead. The fact still remains he owes the children and I will continue to fight for their rights.
Have a nice life Angie, Richard, Kelly, Mike, Vanessa and your mom who will probably jump on the band wagon next.
#37 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Vanessa - Port Richey (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
I just asked my assistant, who has spent 15 years as a dental assistant how a child can have two sets of braces during childhood... and although she is not a doctor of dentistry her experience as a dental assistant has shown that if braces are put on a child and the child and parents do not follow post instructions i.e. wearing a retainer, regression (which is where the teeth move back to where they were originally) then a second set of braces would be needed. Or they were put on too early, and the maxilla and mandible have grown with the child which would cause the teeth to separate and move back to thier original position.
Now there may be other reasons that a doctor of dentistry could provide, but these are the simplest and easiest ways for a child to need braces twice. Of course, we could consider two sets of braces part of the food chain (repeat business). there are MANY orthodontists who suggest braces at too early of an age.
And if the inital braces were put on and the parents never followed through with the treatment, which usually takes two years most dentists will consider that a whole new treatment service.
Seems to me based on what she just told me, if it happens to TWO CHILDREN IN THE SAME HOUSEHOLE, that the problem may lie with the parent and following through with the treatment plan. It's a shame she didn't realize this was happening a second time.... was it the same orthodontist who may have put the braces on the first child too early? Either way it seems that there is a parent not paying attention. And in that case, since you do not believe, according to that completely idiotic Bill of No Rights, that the non custodial parent has no rights to an accounting of how the money is spent, then he should only pay for one set, since if you didn't believe that he should be entitled to see it, it's possible he would have known it was too early and been able to advise you to not spend that money foolishly, although I doubt you would have listened. And since he is not "legally obligated" to pay for braces because they are cosmetic, and I AGREE that he SHOULD pay, I must say that I think he shounld only pay for ONE set per child. After all, not checking out the proper age for it, and after ONE child had to have them twice, you didn't learn with the second one.
And your Bill of No Rights is idiotic. Both parents have rights.
#38 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
THANK GOD THERE WILL FINALLY BE PEACE AND QUIET.
The silence begins this is always a sacred time. No e-mails, no calls, nothing from you makes my life even better. I guess it relates to the old saying if you can't take the heat, get out the kitchen. Lord, I apologize no pun intended...
Thanks to all who helped make this happen....
#39 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, March 30, 2006
3. Intent to collect on child support.
4. Supervised vistiation-Don't trust him, don't want him. Still don't want him. Would you like it spelled out???
5. His child supoort arrears reduced by $50,000 to give him a break on our first agreement. Now he is upset that after 8 years I want the paperwork redone. Not my problem.
6. County has gone after him since I had to go on AFDC or Welfare or hand out. Your family sure didn't help did they??
7. Don't talk bad about her grandparents.
8. When it come to your family they (both children) are allowed to say what they want, how they want, and they don't get in trouble.
9. Wishes not to even acknowledge him at all.
10. Neigbors nephew burnt down 3 apartments, not my husband, get your facts straight.
11. Good for your girl, here's a cookie.
12. He has all the bills and the copies of the checks to where I have paid them. I can send you my electricity bill, last month it was $124.15!!
13. You are long winded-Call your brother, get my phone number, call the kids tonight and see if they will talk with you or with any member of your family. If they will acknowledge you bravo. If you get yelled and screamed at for bashing me, oh well I warned you.
The original issue here is the failure for your brother to pay his child support on time, pay for the kids medical like he is supposed to, and pay his back medical. Get off of my weight, off of my kids and back to the issue, DEADBEAT who does not pay his support. Your family can contiue this blog. I have the paperwork on the divorce, on the child support, what has been filed and what hasn't.
#40 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, March 31, 2006
POSTED: Friday, March 31, 2006
Yes, last night was very quite, got to spend time with my kids, pay bills, just be myself and be happy with my children.
Upon reading the last e-mail about the kids braces, you don't know what you are talking about. Not only two sets of braces apiece, but oral surgery too. Now lets get this straight. You are not their mother, even know them or me. Start a blog of your own called Support Richard and Kelly, they are such wonderful people. Then start another blog called Hate ALL of the Women Who have been on AFDC, have made it off, and are advocates for getting what is due to their children. I am sure that the Mothers out there who are sucess stories and did it by themselves, along with the help that they qualified for, would love to hear yours and your family and friends opinion.
I have two wonderful children who contrary to Kelly, Michael, Vanessa (never met her), Kathy, whom obviously doesn't know CA law, (they make courses for that if you are interested in representing him in court on the 18th) and the other people who love to bash. Stefanie is only allowed to voice her opinion any way she likes when it comes to that side of the family, she is a loving and wonderful honor roll society, she has been published in the book as well, 4.0 grade point average. Steven is getting the help he needs with his school work through tutors, myself, and his counselor, teachers and OUR family. I have a job that I love, and am very good at. I have a family, friends, and co-workers that support me in getting what the children deserve by law. Even though I do have the e-mail that Richard has sent to my HR department to try and get me fired, and the statement by my benifits department as to the misrepresentation of Kelly Ryan.
If the paper work is not to your liking you may call the doctors offices and obtain copies of the bills that have been paid and the payment forms that were made. The payments weren't made by you but by me. I will supply you, yet again, with the copies and how the breakdown is done, but since none of you know how to read what an accountant does, then you may have a problem reading it.
All of the paperwork is in order for court on April 18, 2006 and I hope that you are there on the telephone as you have requested. The child support will be set to guidelins, providing that you have DONE the paperwork this time. You will be responsible for getting Medical on the children that I can actually USE in my area. You will be help accountable for the uncovered medical costs. These are all facts that will be discussed in court.
Until the court date!!!
#41 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Angie - Norfolk (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, March 31, 2006
POSTED: Friday, March 31, 2006
Good God woman can you at all stick to the facts.........
You cut and paste an e mail that was a response to your sending me links to read your blogs about dragging Rich MY BROTHER, through the mud..... The e mail that was a third one on my part to tell you to stop sending me stupid things to my email.....And yes I said it would get ugly and sure enough look at this blog... so full of hatred and no real progress in your plight to get Rich to respond....
You are hell bent on letting everyone think we did not contact you for all these years, but in fact again a mistruth on your part no one but Rich had anyway to contact you, and he was not always able to contact you throughout the years either. I seem to remember me wanting contact many years ago and even driving 24 straight hours to meet my niece, even if it was just for an hour before you guys had to get to the airport.
You in my opinion you are not the best parent in the world, but let's face it who really is. I really do have issues with how your children treat adults, yes as I said let them have an opinion but you as the parent can and should also teach them to be respectful of adults and all people for that matter. And all people should include their father no matter how they feel about him he is their biological father and weather he has been the best parent or the worst parent in the world no one should talk to anyone the way your daughter speaks and writes to anyone. I am all for them sticking up for you, after all they have had you as the constant in their lives all these years, but remember not by anyone's choosing but your own. My issue is with the lack of respect they have for adults and how you allow that lack of respect to occur.... You can have an opinion about people with out being disrespectful, foul mouthed, punk acting child. Wouldn't it show more parenting on your part if they could make their point and still maintain some decorum while doing so. Would be curious to know how the therapist feels about the hatred and disrespect, because I know no therapist that would condone that kind of behavior, the feelings to be let out yes but not in such away as to disrespect all who cross your path.
I love the way you address only questions that you feel like addressing, although I must say I really was only asking in the rhetorical sense, as I knew how you would respond. The point I tried to make was that you have only placed your side of the story out for all to see, and even with all the traffic here in defense of Rich; still there is only small pieces out there of his side of the story. You ask why he does not respond to this? Ask yourself this, could he really win here?
The whole story will come to light one day! Your children will one day know their father and they will know that some of your side was distorted by the hatred you feel for Rich, and I know that they will still love you for the Mother that you have always been for them.
As for our family working...Let's see Michael and Vanessa are in business for themselves, so they can set their own hours, and if you notice the time (All listed in Pacific Time Zone) they wrote it was in the evening when they wrote. Kelly works and so do others that have posted on this site, remember there is more then one time zone. And as for me I only work on the weekends... And Rich well he hasn't responded here, my guess is because he thinks it is a waste of time. After all nothing can be settled in a blog on the internet can it?
One more thought for you before I close this up, you said a few blogs back that you would not respond anymore......my guess is that anger and bitterness gets the better of you and you just have to address things you do not agree with. Am I correct?
My last piece of advice to you is to follow your heart and have your day in court.... win or lose you only have that as an option since the two of you can not negotiate. Good help the judicial system the day the two of you get before a judge.
PS.... No thanks on the cookie, I am on a diet.
#42 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, March 31, 2006
POSTED: Friday, March 31, 2006
The hatred between all of you is really something, no wonder those kids are angry, with all this attacking by the mom, (even though I agree with her on quite a few things)the new wife, the sister in law or whatever sharon is, and the brother in law,
Can't you all just stop for a minute and think about what is best for your kids?! PUT YOUR DIFFERENCES ASIDE FOR 5 MINUTES FOR THEM?! You are their mother and yes, you should receive finacial help,but not all the extra weight issues drug issuse and sexual comments.
I might add which ever one of you posted the drug and sex thing BRAVO! You did a great job on that one for those poor kids, regardless of what YOU think of thier mother, you had no right to say things like that, where they would have acess to it.
Also the brother in law, why are you defending this action of name calling and belittling, to protect your brother?! IS THAT WORTH HURTING YOUR NIECE AND NEPHEW?! SAME GOES FOR SHARON!
The new wife, you had better hope that marriage lasts or you will be sounding just like this woman someday, if, in fact he isn't paying what he should for those kids.
Also, we have heard from everyone else defending this dad, why? becuase he can't speak for himself.For the record, I lost my dad last summer due to emphseyma, and it was a crueling death to watch and I had to care for him, that is just plain wrong to disrespect the dead, they aren't here to defend themselves.I would never let my kids hear anyone speak any evil of my father.So that had to be good for them too! Why don't you all stop name calling, and start thinking about who you are really hurting here, and dad I suggest you do your own talking. I would also be heartbroken if my kids didn't speak to me and I would do everything posible to make it right with them, but honestly all this stuff is about all of you the adults, not the kids, the kids are learning name calling and hatred are how you handle things and thats not fair to them.I think the new wife should butt out since she has nothing nice at all to say about these kids mom and let their DAD handle it.
The mother and father have to learn to not do this to them, these postings are hateful and full of name calling and just deal with the issue , if he owes you money get it in court, but all this is doing is pitting one child against a parent, unfortunatley, we do not get to choose who are parents are.The parents have to be the adults here and communicate without arguing and the whole family jumping into it.AFTERALL, there were ONLY 2 people that made those kids and 2 people who should be trying politley to do what is best for them.
One more thing
Nick is kind of my cyber friend and he is a really nice guy,maybe you don't like what he has to say , but thats what these postings are for to get responses and hopefully better idea on how to RESOLVE your situation, and he really doesn't deserve a bashing either.Please for your kids's sake stop with allthe hatred and find a way to communicate with eachother without making them hate one parent.Someday that one parent might be all they have left to lean on.Also, please note I am not trying to bash anyone on here, I am just trying topoint out a different prespective,
As for the braces since the children required two sets ( it doesn't matter why they did, and it is done)I think that each parent should each pay for one set that would be fair, invest some time into getting along and compromising for those kids's sake.
#43 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Kathy - Vernon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, March 31, 2006
POSTED: Friday, March 31, 2006
Nick,
You are totally missing my point when I asked why you have not asked any questions. If you do not know Sharon or Rich then why would you automatically assume she is correct? That is what I was saying. I could careless who is sympathetic to whom. The major problem here is all the fabrication and the fact that these children are not hearing the truth. Like I said from the beginning three sides to a story. I never said she committed fraud I merely stated that there are people that are out there to defraud taxpayers. Look if people need assitance I am all for it. We all have to be accountable for our life choices.
To all,
We really need to ask ourselves what has this accomplished. I do not see anything positive that has come out of this. What was the real agenda here when the first blog was posted. This is not a question I really care to for an answer on because as we all see everyone is bashing and nothing has been accomplished. I thought by responding and telling another side to this things might have been looked at more objectively. I agreed with Sharon that she should get what is owed. I did not name call or bash. I do not have a problem with people seeking assistance I merely pointed out that she had the opportunity for child support right from the get go and she still would have received help. Why wait if things were so tough. Good for you that you are not in the system anymore. There are many people out there that are try to play it and commit fraud.
Sharon,
I just for the life of me cannot understand why you would continue to need assistance right now if you and your husband are both working whether part time or full time. Again, I am not looking for a response.
I did look up the staute and i am not representing Rich I just talked with my friends about what they need to look for and make sure they have everything they need. Stop acting like you are above all and come back down. I never attacked you personally by calling you names. Did I? NO. Well I do have a great job and I am just a friend who will be there for Kelly and Rich just as they have been for me. We do not have to agree on everything that is the beautiful thing about true friendship. I wish all the children involved the best of luck. I am sure this will continue on forever based on this whole ordeal. All I have to say is thank god my children have the family they have 2 biological parents and 2 significant other adults in their lives. As far as i am concerned they have 4 loving parents and lots of aunts and uncles blood related and non blood related to share all the good and bad times with. Who could ask for more!
Best of luck!
#44 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Heather - Bensalem (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, March 31, 2006
POSTED: Friday, March 31, 2006
I just have a question for everyone who is not part of the family. how can anyone make comments about this without knowing everything or being a part of it from the beginning. i am not trying to make anyone mad, but this posting was silly. everyone has an opinion but no one but the mother, father, and children should be involved. that goes for anyone who has taken law classes or whatever. i just feel for the kids cause i know what it is like to be thrown between two feuding parents and that is what this is supposed to be about. no one seems to care about these 2 kids, who if kelly is to be believed, are living with a crasy person. if that is true, then you should have gotten custody or even asked for it. that you didn't makes me wonder. stephanie and steven i know how you both feel and hope for the best. both of the sides need to work this out for the sake of the children. thanks.
#45 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, March 31, 2006
POSTED: Friday, March 31, 2006
You stated earlier that you were done. I knew better due to the fact your inability to let anything go including Rich. I am a persistant person myself but really like the idea of peace, quiet and the neighbors and I thank you for giving up on the screaming matches. We all appreciate when your trap is shut.
#46 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, March 31, 2006
POSTED: Friday, March 31, 2006
Kathy said:
Nick, You are totally missing my point when I asked why you have not asked any questions. If you do not know Sharon or Rich then why would you automatically assume she is correct? That is what I was saying.
Because statistics show that the majority of fathers do not pay the required child support. And instead of saying, "yes he does pay", Kelly pretty much admitted it, made excuses and defended the indefensible. Did I assume? Yes. I still have nothing to judge by, except that her house has a lien and boy, is she mad about that! I'd be torked about that too, but that doesn't take away the fact that he still owes support.
She never said that he did pay what is owed, and she never said that she SHOULDN'T have to pay. Most of her posts have noted that she is skeptical about where the money is going. That's no defense, and it doesn't matter. The end result is that he is not paying. That's why I assume she is correct.
Kathy said:
I never said she committed fraud I merely stated that there are people that are out there to defraud taxpayers. Look if people need assitance I am all for it. We all have to be accountable for our life choices.
Okay - quick review here.
On 3-30-06, you said:
but why should he pay all the money back to Monterey because you made the decision to sit home and leach off the system.
On 3-29-06, you said:
Suck it up lady you live in housing that is funded by HUD. Which we all know means you pay a discounted rent thanks to the rest of us hard working single mom's who do not use the system and FRAUD our fellow tax payers.
If you "never said she committed fraud", that's a sure clever way of "merely stating" so! D'oh!
Kathy:
Look if people need assitance I am all for it. We all have to be accountable for our life choices.
Me too! I agree! That's why I think the parent who takes care of the kids should have every right (and support, even from dopey strangers like me) for getting that assistance - and holding people accountable.
Kathy:
Sharon,
I just for the life of me cannot understand why you would continue to need assistance right now if you and your husband are both working whether part time or full time.
Now YOU are missing the point of child support. She is entitled to ask for child support, and the court has granted that. The law requires that dads don't leave their kids and not pay, and a good society wouldn't permit it. In California, you can be put in jail for it.
Would you rather I took the position that guys can marry women, have kids and then leave whenever they want and disappear? There are a lot of guys like that. I think that's low class.
Unless Richard gives up his parental rights and Sharon's new husband adopts them, those kids are Richard's responsibility. Am I wrong?
It got REAL quiet in here when I asked, "Well, how much does RICHARD think Richard owes"? And when could Sharon receive assistance?
I'm willing to switch sides if someone can prove a case rather than make rotten sexual accusations and fat jokes. Good gawd, that in my mind is a "guilty woman's" response. What does Richard owe, Kelly? Let's hear it.
Ruth:
Nick is kind of my cyber friend.... and he really doesn't deserve a bashing either.
Ruth, you're A-ok in my book too! :)
Heh. Actually, yeah I do. I don't mind if they call me to the carpet - I stuck it out. I'm an independent opinion in the thread. I AM surprised that it was the women that were demanding why I was sticking up for a woman. With "Father's Rights" groups popping up and making some outrageous claims of their own, I figured a man calling a man to pay his responsibilities would be met with some criticism. I was surprised at how much I received.
I still think it's the right position to take. You make kids? Then support them. If it was Richard that was taking care of the kids and Sharon being a deadbeat, I'd be verbally slapping Sharon. Taking care of your kids is your priority, and yes, even if you feel like you're paying someone you don't love anymore to do it, it's still the right thing to do. The problem that non-living-with-the-kids ex-spouses have is that they are too proud and selfish to pay for their past because they're looking so hard at their new future.
THAT is pathetic. Your kids is not "your past". They are your future.
The kids didn't send you across the nation, so they don't have your time. But at least make sure the person that IS taking care of them has your support, and doesn't have to beg, borrow, keep track of or steal to make ends meet.
It's not hard to piece together the "third story" based on the first and second, and unless there is some pretty damning evidence against Sharon (that I missed between all of the 40oz/fat/pills insults), or a reason Richard should get out of paying child support, I think my initial assumption was correct. A lein from the government on Kelly's house isn't a good enough reason to not support your kids.
#47 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, April 01, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, April 01, 2006
Yes, I have said that, a couple of postings back, that it would be my last, but the response is just crazy.
I surely expected to be bashed by the family of Richard. I am not surprised at all. To the whole Santerre side of the family-thanks for all the fat jokes, 40 oz., pill comments, my mental state, and also my parenting abilities. I am on a nerve medication called Nerontin-look it up if you like, for the nerve damage that has been done. I don't suffer from any of the side effects because my doctor keeps track, and I have regular blood tests. Sorry though, you can't access my medical records, they are not open for public viewing. But thanks for all the concern that has been shown here on this blog for my health.
Where was the Santerre family after my divorce? I anitiated and got the divorce without any response from Richard. He never once answered any paperwork, and still continues not to answer any paperwork. If anyone is wanting to actually look up the case, because the case is a public record, it is case # DA 23891/FSD 04838-A. You can call Montery County Court house-ask for the records department and get copies. I have nothing to hide.
The only reason why this wasn't completed on the last court date, the one Richard claims that he never got, was because the judge asked me to detail it out, and I did do that as I would do it for my own job. Not the kind of accounting that was wanted by the court. They required just a simple accounting, not the seven pages that I supplied them with. So now it has been compressed into one page. Just a very simple accounting.
Nick-I don't know you personally or anything like that but thank you. You sound like a level headed person and I appreciate your responses.
Kelly-I am over Richard, have been since I left him, his responsibilites still remain the same, he owes and since the kids are not legally old enoght to fight for what is legally theirs by law, than that leaves me. Don't attack my weight, or my family, I bite back, you don't like the choice of words or screaming, don't send me weight loss crap or attack me in e-mail or blogs, I too am a very persistent person, as you well know. But you insist on speaking for him. Now we will let the court speak for him, unless you feel like hiring an attorney here in CA to represent him, like he has already stated to the Monterey Count Child Support Division office. The he can explain it to the judge on how he can afford to pay for an attorney but not his child support. In CA they are very strict on child support issues.
Thank you Nick-even though I don't know you personally. Your support as being a man and actually sticking up for a women's right to collect the child support that is due to her children should be commended. I to am very happily married, to a wonderful man, contrary to what has been posted here.
As I have stated before, and I really don't want to post anymore to this, I have work to do with the non profits that I work with. But I feel that both parents should be held accountable, financially and emotionally (although in this case it is just financially, because the children want nothing to do with that side of the family. Angie you could of callled?? But you didn't, your loss. Whether you agree or not, is not the point, pay your child support. If you want the lein taken off of the house then pay the child support you owe in arrears, but you will also have to pay Monterey County what is owed to them because for 7 years you didn't pay child support or offer to help out financially or emotionally that is why I went on the AFDC system.
If there is another posting from Kelly or any member of the "family Santerre" who wants to say anything more about me, I will be happy to answer you back. If you don't want an answer back then don't leave a blog, even if you put you don't want an answer, but are asking a question, I wlll respond. I started the blog and I will finish it.
#48 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, April 01, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, April 01, 2006
Okay, I noticed that the new wife couldn't help herself but get another STAB in, and Nick is right in alot of things he said, if people need assistance thats what we pay taxes for, and I would rather see someone with 2 kids have a roof over their head whether or not it is HUD,And to the new wife, THAT IS REALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, JUST ANOTHER WAY TO JAB AT THE EX.
Someone asked what have you accomplished here, I will tell you, as an outsider, (since your inner circle refuses to be civil) you have managed to make those children suffer more than they already have, do ANY of you realize how hard divorce is on a child and THEN adjusting to a step parent(s) that hates, absolutely HATES the bioloigal parent?
recently, a close family memeber in our family got divorced , we loved their spouse very much, they agreed to be civil, and they are even though they both have someone else now.
My youngest son is 9 and very close to the little boy in the divorce, they are broken hearted when we have to seperate them, the things I have heard from my son about how that little guy feels about his mommy and daddy divorcing are so sad, he breaks my heart. AT LEAST he doesn't have to put up name calling/sexual assualts on the mother/drug accusations etc.BUT none the less, it is hard on those kids, the other one is a teenager and deep down he is in his own hell, over it, now they are trying to deal with new spouses.
God forbid they have one like kelly, saying horrible things about their mother on top of the pain they are already in.
Like I said before you have accomplished NOTHING but hatred on this blog, and for all your kids to see, and wife #2 saying all those horrible things about mom, I suppose her past is lily white and how would she like it if someone was saying all that nasty stuff about her, for her kids to see? I doubt she would like it very much, THEIR father should sit his wife down and for HIS KIDS SAKE make her stop insulting those kids mom and stay out of it.
In fact doesn't dad care what they see and hear about their mother? The mother should also stop with the attacks on the father in front of the kids as well, do you think that is good for them? The must feel like pawns in your little war, and I don't think that feels very good to them.
Another thing Nick is 100% right about, TOO many dads out there do not pay child support and if there is a lien on your home then you do, in fact, owe this mother support and she should have it.
Kids are not weapons, they have feelings and like it or not they may be mad at dad (mom you should try not to bash on their dad to them either)but deep down, he IS their father and they do love him. The step mother comes off as pure mean and full of hatred, and why? Becuase the mother wants child support OWED to her? You knew he had children , so therefore, you knew there was going to be a child support order, so by marrying him you ASKED for that, still, this is an issue between mom and dad not you and the kids.I sure wouldn't want my children to read posts about sex for 40 ouncers, etc. that was COMPLETELY UNCALLED FOR ESPECIALLY OUT OF AN ADULT AND A PARENT TO BOOT! ALSO, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. God help these kids if you guys do not learn to handle this like adults, dad call the new wife off, and cease with the nasty remarks, and mom, let the courts handle the child support issue and quit bashing on dad as well, remember the most IMPORTANT THING HERE IS YOUR KIDS! and you should REALLY try hard to keep these nasty things that are being said AWAY from them , they have nothing to do with the child support, they are only remarks to hurt or cause more animosity and nothing else.Remember, how you handle this, is going to be teaching YOUR kids how to handle it if they ever divorce. I simply cannot understand why the dad lets his wife go off on mom like that in front of the kids, it isn't her business it is his, and like I said before, if she ever divorces him she could be riding the same canoe and how would she like it if the next wife pulled all those nasty remarks and stunts on her, that she is doing right now to the mom, the shoe could also end up on the other foot.
So Please, instead of thinking about yourselves and your next nasty remark, think about those kids involved, they are watching, learning and listening.Handle this like adults and stop going around in circles accomplishing nothing, but hurting your own children.BOTH PARENTS SHOULD WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR THEM, and the stepmother needs to be a little nicer to the mom, you have gotten your point across you hate her, now let their dad handle his affairs like an adult and quit with the nasty remarks.Those kids love their parents and you shouldn't have married a man with kids if you weren't mature enough to handle this
without the nasty mudslinging , you are, afterall, those kids stepmom and you yourself have an example to set.
#49 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, April 01, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, April 01, 2006
Hello again everyone. I would like to say that now I will tell some of the story. You ask why I am mean and say the things I do? Let's start by saying it all started years ago. Yes, I was aware of the fact he had kids and was previously married. I for years told Sharon it was between her and him, I wished no involvement. I was polite to her as a normal individual. When ten years ago or so she started to call about settling child support I still stayed uninvolved but she continually would call at extremely late hours of the evening sometimes yelling and screaming therefore keeping the whole house up. She wanted the support and I have never said it is not due to her. She has raised the kids, not the way I agree but it is her way. The fact remains for the last couple of years she gets on a role where she will call my house, sometimes every night, not to talk about the kids or doctor bills but to talk about when they were married and ask for pictures of him (again, not for the kids) When we were both unemployed a couple years back his daughter had a trip to go on and we send some money orders, granted it wasn't a lot but the effort was there. When we do send gifts, it's not good enough. Wouldn't anyone get discouraged after a while? Wouldn't any of you get aggravated of the continuous phone calls to chat about other issues than the kids? Then sometimes she would get her panties in a knot and decided to argue and fight, then the phone hanging up and calling back would start, sometimes for days. We won't get our number unpublished due to the kids. Although, they want no contact maybe someday they will.
One conversation the daughter was forced on the phone with me crying why she was mad at her father, something he said and as a child she misunderstood. I was a child that came from divorce and I know it is difficult, thank you I don't need pointers or anyone to tell me what it is like. I also, at that point stated to Sharon she was wrong to put her on with me and put her in the middle. It was not fair to the child to speak with me in tears about what when on with her and Rich.
He was unemployed and if anyone who like the classified from that time I could send them. He worked at a very good job for nine plus years and paid his child support and back support as agreed. Was it mentioned that I recently came into money and offered him to give Sharon 20,000 and she refused. She didn't want my help? Why would I not be fed up and aggravated? Put yourself in my shoes, wouldn't you be? Don't judge me, I could write for hours about everything but don't have the time right now.
I just wanted everyone who has thought and asked about my side what has gone on. Again, he was paying his child support and as for medical back bills from 1998 until now they were never brought to full light. She did call and tell she us needed $500.00 for glasses but now it's only 226.00? There were never any bills to back these claims up and they were asked for. She never asked for child support until she found out about me and his new life. Now, don't judge me I never said those kids deserved nothing. Then when the child support became an issue, it was resolved between the two of them and started being paid. Anytime he has got a new job, he told her where and she would even call his employment even before his start date and constantly contact his work, even though he would always make sure to give proper paperwork. As for being mean some people after years of aggravation, resentment and the fact he was held from those kids brought out a side that all others have deep within. See if you have dealt with the constant BS I have for years. (Again, not to do with the kids.) Please, don't get the wrong idea it was not jealously because if he wanted to be with her he would have went back. Don't think he wasn't asked many times. Some of these things had to be brought to light.
Remember, I experienced divorce too from a child's perspective and not was it always pleasant, I was never held back from any family, the way it should be. Just because you as parents are divorced the family shouldn't be divorced as well. Is that right for all concerned? Is it right to inform the children of everything that goes on, to let them get on a site like this and read all of it? To be told their father is nothing but a sperm donor since the time she left him. His side of the family did try to make contact but Sharon wanted nothing to do with them.
Oh, more one thing, when he was at that job for nine years, he had medical, never used. Medical that could of covered some of these bills that are in question. If you have extra medical, secondary policy why would someone not be intelligent enough to use it? The coverage was a company that is nationwide? Why not bring to his attention if there was a problem with it? Whose stupidity is that?
#50 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, April 01, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, April 01, 2006
Hello again everyone. I would like to say that now I will tell some of the story. You ask why I am mean and say the things I do? Let's start by saying it all started years ago. Yes, I was aware of the fact he had kids and was previously married. I for years told Sharon it was between her and him, I wished no involvement. I was polite to her as a normal individual. When ten years ago or so she started to call about settling child support I still stayed uninvolved but she continually would call at extremely late hours of the evening sometimes yelling and screaming therefore keeping the whole house up. She wanted the support and I have never said it is not due to her. She has raised the kids, not the way I agree but it is her way. The fact remains for the last couple of years she gets on a role where she will call my house, sometimes every night, not to talk about the kids or doctor bills but to talk about when they were married and ask for pictures of him (again, not for the kids) When we were both unemployed a couple years back his daughter had a trip to go on and we send some money orders, granted it wasn't a lot but the effort was there. When we do send gifts, it's not good enough. Wouldn't anyone get discouraged after a while? Wouldn't any of you get aggravated of the continuous phone calls to chat about other issues than the kids? Then sometimes she would get her panties in a knot and decided to argue and fight, then the phone hanging up and calling back would start, sometimes for days. We won't get our number unpublished due to the kids. Although, they want no contact maybe someday they will.
One conversation the daughter was forced on the phone with me crying why she was mad at her father, something he said and as a child she misunderstood. I was a child that came from divorce and I know it is difficult, thank you I don't need pointers or anyone to tell me what it is like. I also, at that point stated to Sharon she was wrong to put her on with me and put her in the middle. It was not fair to the child to speak with me in tears about what when on with her and Rich.
He was unemployed and if anyone who like the classified from that time I could send them. He worked at a very good job for nine plus years and paid his child support and back support as agreed. Was it mentioned that I recently came into money and offered him to give Sharon 20,000 and she refused. She didn't want my help? Why would I not be fed up and aggravated? Put yourself in my shoes, wouldn't you be? Don't judge me, I could write for hours about everything but don't have the time right now.
I just wanted everyone who has thought and asked about my side what has gone on. Again, he was paying his child support and as for medical back bills from 1998 until now they were never brought to full light. She did call and tell she us needed $500.00 for glasses but now it's only 226.00? There were never any bills to back these claims up and they were asked for. She never asked for child support until she found out about me and his new life. Now, don't judge me I never said those kids deserved nothing. Then when the child support became an issue, it was resolved between the two of them and started being paid. Anytime he has got a new job, he told her where and she would even call his employment even before his start date and constantly contact his work, even though he would always make sure to give proper paperwork. As for being mean some people after years of aggravation, resentment and the fact he was held from those kids brought out a side that all others have deep within. See if you have dealt with the constant BS I have for years. (Again, not to do with the kids.) Please, don't get the wrong idea it was not jealously because if he wanted to be with her he would have went back. Don't think he wasn't asked many times. Some of these things had to be brought to light.
Remember, I experienced divorce too from a child's perspective and not was it always pleasant, I was never held back from any family, the way it should be. Just because you as parents are divorced the family shouldn't be divorced as well. Is that right for all concerned? Is it right to inform the children of everything that goes on, to let them get on a site like this and read all of it? To be told their father is nothing but a sperm donor since the time she left him. His side of the family did try to make contact but Sharon wanted nothing to do with them.
Oh, more one thing, when he was at that job for nine years, he had medical, never used. Medical that could of covered some of these bills that are in question. If you have extra medical, secondary policy why would someone not be intelligent enough to use it? The coverage was a company that is nationwide? Why not bring to his attention if there was a problem with it? Whose stupidity is that?
#51 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, April 01, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, April 01, 2006
Anticonvulsants/Mood Stabilizers
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Carbamazepine (Tegretol®)
Divalproex (Depakote®)
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Topiramate (Topamax®)
AN INTRODUCTION TO BIPOLAR DISORDER
(The information provided on this site should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease. It is not a substitute for professional care. If you have or suspect that you have a health problem, you should consult your health care provider.
Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive disorder, is a condition that affects one's mood, emotions, and behavior. This section will describe the common symptoms of the disease, but bear in mind that there are a wide variety of clinical presentations of the disorder.
A person with bipolar disorder experiences mood episodes. These mood episodes can include depressive episodes, manic episodes, and mixed episodes. During depressive episodes, individuals usually experience sad mood, diminished interest in usual activities, and disturbances in sleep, appetite, energy, and concentration.
Manic episodes typically involve either extremely happy or irritable mood, accompanied by other changes in behavior, such as increased activity, decreased need for sleep, grandiose thinking, and racing thoughts. Mixed episodes involve the simultaneous occurrence of depressive and manic symptoms. Sometimes individuals with bipolar disorder experience psychotic symptoms (such as delusions and hallucinations) during the mood episodes, but these psychotic symptoms go away when their mood returns to normal.
The duration of mood episodes typically lasts from a couple of hours to many months. Between episodes people with bipolar disorder often return to their usual functioning and personality. Some people with the disorder can enjoy healthy, stable mood for many years between episodes, while others rapidly go in and out of mood episodes almost continually, while still others experience mood episodes at frequencies between these two extremes.
In the current popular diagnostic classification system (DSM-IV), a distinction is made between bipolar I disorder and bipolar II disorder. People with bipolar II disorder have so-called hypomanic episodes, as opposed to the full-blown manic episodes experienced by those with bipolar I disorder. Both hippomanic and manic episodes involve the same symptoms (e.g., elevated mood, increased activity, decreased need for sleep, grandiosity, racing thoughts, excessive involvement in pleasurable activities, etc.), but there are several important differences. The most important difference is severity; that is, hippomanic episodes themselves do not cause significant distress or greatly impair one's work, family, or social life, but manic episodes do disrupt these things.
There is some evidence that there might be some common genetic causes of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. This is not too surprising, since there is symptom overlap between the two disorders as well. Specifically, some people with bipolar disorder experience hallucinations and delusional ideas during mood episodes, while individuals with schizophrenia also can have these psychotic symptoms. Also, many people with schizophrenia experience episodes of manic or depressive symptoms.
It is the timing and overlap of mood and psychotic symptoms that differentiate these two diagnostic categories.
Treatment for bipolar disorder often involves a mood-stabilizing medication, such as Lithium, Neurontin, Depakote, or Tegretol. Those individuals with bipolar disorder who also experience psychotic symptoms might also be treated with an antipsychotic medication, such as Haldol or Zyprexa.
Therapy, support, and education about the illness are also important elements of a good treatment plan.
#52 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, April 01, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, April 01, 2006
Kelly said:
The fact remains for the last couple of years she gets on a role where she will call my house, sometimes every night, not to talk about the kids or doctor bills but to talk about when they were married and ask for pictures of him (again, not for the kids)
Sharon? What's up with that? I could see if it was about child support or an emergency with the kids. But you'd have no other reason (well, in MY mind) to call him. You're divorced.
Kelly said:
Wouldn't any of you get aggravated of the continuous phone calls to chat about other issues than the kids?
Sure. I would. The relationship is over, and both parties have moved on. What on earth would Kelly and Richard OR Sharon have to talk about BESIDES the kids?
Kelly said:
Was it mentioned that I recently came into money and offered him to give Sharon 20,000 and she refused. She didn't want my help? Why would I not be fed up and aggravated?
Wasn't that $20,000.00 a settlement for all the past child support owed, that Sharon says was already reduced by $50,000.00? I ask because you're making that sound VERY generous, and you never said what Richard owes Sharon if he was to settle up in full from YOUR view, Kelly.
Kelly said:
She did call and tell she us needed $500.00 for glasses but now it's only 226.00?
Even I don't spend $500.00 on glasses, contacts AND the eye exam in a year. What are you buying? Geoffrey Beene? Prescription Oakleys?
Kelly said:
She never asked for child support until she found out about me and his new life.
BUT
Kelly ALSO said:
When ten years ago or so she started to call about settling child support I still stayed uninvolved
Is that a conflict? Have you been with Richard for 10 years? Sharon, how long have you been divorced?
Kelly said:
Oh, more one thing, when he was at that job for nine years, he had medical, never used. Medical that could of covered some of these bills that are in question. If you have extra medical, secondary policy why would someone not be intelligent enough to use it?
Sharon, if that IS true, then you need to go back and get those bills paid by insurance. Match the date of service to the dates Richard had insurance. You can probably still submit some of those claims and maybe bargain with the collections if you have them calling. Otherwise, they will be on YOUR credit report.
Taking the kids to the doctor, claiming no insurance in order to get your ex to pay cash to you is NOT the right thing to do, either. That leaves you an opportunity to barter down or go to collections (or your insurance) and keep the difference. Since I don't know you, I have to say: People DO that stuff, I can't just dismiss that because Richard is in the rears. You should work WITH your ex to collectively call the claims department and get those claims paid.
I've never had $11k of mouth work done in my life, and that's including a surgery and injury. That figure just seems so high, I have to question.
Sharon, it begs to ask: Do you actually price shop, or do you just "assume the cost" on whatever service and price, thinking that you're only responsible for half? That leaves Richard out of the equation beforehand, yet expecting him to pony up when the bill comes?
He owes child support, not half of whatever you ring up at the register for the kids. Sharon, THAT is also a fact of life, of which I don't disagree. You can't enslave him for everything you buy for the kids and demand half.
There's a HUGE difference, and as much as I stand behind my original opinion of Richard, Kelly does have a legitimate point:
You have fuzzy math.
Paper and pencil bills don't work. The courts recognize that you can just write anything you want. That's why bills (originals or copies) are better.
Why don't you buy a printer/scan/fax/copier for the COPIER feature (around $100) and send copies of the bills? Kelly or Richard could then pay their share, and they'd have a copy of the bills they did pay with their canceled checks. It would keep you BOTH accountable, and give you both actual numbers to work with and keep track of.
I think there might be hope for you guys. I don't buy that "this is a lost cause" line. You guys MUST work it out for a few years longer. What would it take to do that amicably?
I'm interested from hearing from BOTH of you:
How far is Richard behind?
#53 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, April 01, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, April 01, 2006
Okay Kelly let's go over this one more time, since you obviously aren't going to let this rest.
1. Setting up of Child Support
Gave him a break the first time of 50,000 off of the arrears that he owed for child support. Will not bargain the kids, child support it to be set at guidelines.
2. Raising of the children-
If he didn't like the way that I have raised the children, then he should of taken me to court and had them taken away from me.
3. Stefanie's trip to Washington DC. Only 1 (one) money order for 40.00.
4. Picture-the kids wanted to know what he looked like, but they didn't want to talk to him. He misunderstood, I know what he looks like don't need a picture from him.
5. Time difference. So sorry for calling late and keeping you awake.
Both of you out of work-get a job, take care of your responsibilites.
2. Frustration on my part. Not getting child support. By law I am supposed to be receiving child support. Answer-get a job.
3. Yes he did have a good job for 9 years. Can you count how many times he actually called to speak with the children, no you can't because he called maybe half a dozen times, in 9 years. No birthday calls, no christmas card e-mails or anything, until this year.
Want to see his kids: Solution-He make a trip out here to see his kids, has he ever, no he hasn't.
4. Owed more than 20,000 at the time. Condition with taking the money drop lien on the house, which by the way Monterey County didn't even have it on record that he owned a house. Once verified, lien placed on house. Instead of getting caught up on his back child support, family took a trip to swim with the dolphins. Didn't take care of his obligations. Now you are pissed off about the lien.
5. Past medical-I was told by Richard that his attorney told him that the braces for the kids were cosmetic and that he wasn't responsible so he wasn't going to pay what was agreed upon. My mistake for actually believing anything that comes out of his mouth. Now that he is being held responsible for it, he wants to hire an attorney. Go ahead, explain to the court of why the paperwork wasn't completed on his part and how he can afford an attorney now.
Today, I got to go bowling with Steven, where I am the secretary for the youth bowling league, he averaged a 150. Helped Stefanie with her stock market project, did a lot of talking with both of the kids about the court situation. If you or Richard wants to know what we discussed call and speak with them. Cleaned my house, paid some more bills. Watched Steven ride his bike, thanks for remebering his birthday, also gave Angie the kid's birthdays, never heard a word from her, what else would be new though, no one in that family ever remembered before.
Just keep dragging this out Kelly, how about this. Mind your own business, let Richarch actually speak for himself or are you the spokes person for your household? Looks that way to me. He owes the money to his kids back here, that is the fact. He is responsible and will be held responsible in court. Now I can keep the blog going as long as you can, but just for my own sake, I am just going to cut and paste this last one.
Have a good weekend.
#54 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, April 02, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, April 02, 2006
Sharon,
First, I again not denying the fact of child support even though you would like to continually beat that into the ground. Yes, that is what a court system is for if you feel your not getting your fair share for the kids.
As for the trip to Washington, I believe it was two money orders or did you not give her the second? But again it was a rough time for us and we did our best. We did not ?cheat? the kids intentionally as you think. You're the only one who can have it rough? No one else here can.
As for me speaking for him, it has now become my business (though I really wanted nothing to do with it) You over and over again claim how he has hurt the kids but it's ok for you to call my house and bash him in front of my daughter? Again, you're the only one who is ever right about anything?
Speaking on the subject of being right, it is ok that for years when he asked to talk to the kids you wouldn't let him? If he tried to have contact with them or his family no one could?
As for Steven's birthday we didn't forget, once again you told him the kids wanted nothing to do with him and not to call the house or you would bring him up on harassment? Now, your trying to make us look like the bad guys (all the family) to the kids because you pull this all the time? After this little game is pulled then it is rubbed in his face about not calling. Why try you get on the phone, listen to the conversation, if you let them talk at all. Has that been mentioned? All the times he has talked to the kids you listen or call the next day ranting and raving how he didn't have a proper conversation?
You seemed to avoid the one of the statements. You did not answer about asking Richard back all those times but yet he is such a bad person and father? Why would you want him back?
As far as wanting to see the kids he wants nothing more, I do believe a couple summers ago we offered to have Stefanie come here and you said, no. She even wanted to come. We even said we would go to an attorney to draw up legal documents because you were scared we wouldn't let her go home? How insane would that be? See it's wrong unless it's your way. Nothing can be done right unless it's done your way?
Thank you my trip was very good too. I made an offering out of money( I received from the death of my father), some of the money that I thought should be put to a good cause. I will tell you I am glad you refused after I see the perspective you have on life and dying. You allow your children and yourself to believe it's ok for someone to have a horrific death because you have issues with Rich? That is a question I want answered!!! Not a song and dance about how the kids can say whatever they want about this side of the family. So be it are you happy about your mom passing since you have no regard for human life? Again, it's ok if you do it but no one else better. You really are a one-sided individual. Maybe that has got you along in the past. Again, as you have told me before, you don't want my help, not my responsibility. Yet, you keep dragging it up for me to take responsibility? Which is it?
How is Rich a deadbeat if he paid the child support for all those years? That is another question I want answered!!! You keep claiming he is a deadbeat to all these people and wanting them to pity you but he was paying? Yes no one denied the fact he owes back support. Again, you have left out the fact he is working and paying his support again? Remind me how is he a deadbeat?????
No, I won't let it go, I told you I am a persistent person. I have been pushed by you for way to long. Again, you can the only one who can be right?
Speaking of being right, the other night on the phone you stated Gary and yourself were going to come to Ct to visit. Rich offered directions and the fact he would give directions to our house and your comment was you were bringing a shotgun? How stable are you? Good thing your on medication but I think for your own sanity you should be re-evaluated. Again, that was right to say in front of the children?
HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME AT THE BOWLING ALLEY.
#55 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, April 02, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, April 02, 2006
Nick,
You are correct in the fact when the eyeglasses came up she would only go to an eye doctor, it was stupid to shop around and she didn't understand why people would do that.. I don't know about you but I shop around to save money? Doesn't that make sense to do?
As for what he owes in back support it is a few thousand higher than 20,000 don't know the exact amount as for dollar to dollar. I thought it was better to have 20,000 than none and it would only be in the children's best interest. She also didn't mention Rich was holding a cashiers check in his hand made to her ready to send. She wanted the full amount or nothing.
Because of her refusal we did take a vacation with some friends. After losing 5 family members in 18 months I felt I wanted to do some good. Now does that make me so bad? She insisted she didn't want my help, it's not my responsibility but yet she claims on these ?blog? it is. Which is it? I tried to help my husband out and Monterey County thought it was generous also. As for the lien on the house, Sharon told us if we settled with her, she would get the lien removed. After her refusal Monterey County informed us she had no power to remove the lien.. It was okay for her to get hers and screw the state that helped her as long as she got hers. Is that right?
As this goes on it keeps changing on her part, the real story will eventually come out.
Rich is paying child support currently and back, how is he a deadbeat? He doesn't go from job to job and hide from the system like a real deadbeat would. He always informs her and the county of his employment changes. How is that running? We have lived in the same town for 14 years, she always could get a hold of us. We didn't move state to state, job to job. We do like stability ourselves.
As far as the vacation , my vehicles, properties and bank accounts are not her business. I tried to do the right thing and help my husband but she refuses anything from me. It is never good enough. Now the offer is done and there is no turning back.
Richard will respond after the court date as for his side.
#56 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, April 02, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, April 02, 2006
I did get your response and I will answer to you.
My son has Stigmatisa, color blind, and also a reaction to florecsent lighting (hope I spelled that right that doesn't allow him to read printing on white paper and he has to have a special kind of tint done to his glasses). Last year when we bought him glasses the office visit is 105.00 his glasses came to @350.00, that comes to @455.00(I have to look at the back medical). My insurance doesn't cover eyeglasses for anyone else in the family. For this year Steven's "contacts" (now that he will be entering high school in August came to 364.65 of which Richard is responsible for half of the cost 182.32. For the current year medical he owes 233.61, of which none has been paid by him.
There was a time (between myself and Richard) that we did actually "talk" on the phone. About the kids, how they were doing in school, about the activities that they were involved in, ect. We even talked about how we were both to young to get married and how nice it was that we could finally just talk without arguing. We have been divorced since (legally) January 26, 1993, didn't have any form of communication until June 1998. I had tried to force a relationship to happen with his children back then. But it didn't work, it only upset Stefanie, that he had Rachel, and loved her but why didn't he love her just as much (from my daughters point of view). That about broke my heart to see her cry. I explained to her that we were very young when we got married and it just didn't work, but that he still loved her. Her reaction, if he loves me then why hasn't he ever called why did I (me) always have to call. I didn't have an answer for that. I had phoned Richard and let him know that if he truely wanted to have a relationship with his daughter he needed to initiate it, not her because she already felt alienated away from him. For a while, maybe a month, he would call her on a regular basis, then it stopped. I asked her why she said she just didn't want to talk with him anymore. That was her dicision not mine.
I didn't bother to call him back.
Now we are going to skip way ahea in time to when he got laid off from the job that he had for nine years at Fuel Cells. When he got laid off he didn't bother to call to let me know, mind you we haven't spoken in years again. When I phoned him, he still had the same number and so did I for the past 10 years, he said it would probably be at least 6 to 9 months before he went back to work this was back in June 2004 I beleive. This seems like a rediclous amount of time to be out of work to me. Yes I did call him to see if he had found other work. He was falling more and more behind on the child support. If that makes me a bad person so be it. Both parents are still responsible, bottom line.
When he did finally obtain a job in September 2004 I asked for the address and he gave it to me. By this time it had been @ 6 months since I had received any support from him. I did contact the employer, got the information on where to send the paperwork and contacted the Child Support office here and gave them the information. About a month went by and I still hadn't received any support. I called him at work and he said that he would look into it. When it was finally straightened out I started receiving child support regularly again. Yes we would talk on the phone like civil people and he was even talking with his daughter (tried it agina, and it seemed to be working this time) They would talk on and off and even chat on the internet. I thought it was great, now she can finally have a relationship with him. But she also siad that she really didn't like taling to him, that he was very opinionated and extremely prejudice. I told her to talk with him about it, but she didn't want to. So I left it at that, me and him would still chat on the phone, about the kids, and no I still don't want or need pictures of him!!
Then at the end of August 2005 it had been a couple of weeks since the child support checks had been coming. The last one was on 8/2/2005. I again phoned Richard and asked him why I wasn't getting any child support checks. This is when he informed me that he had quit his job for personal resons and that it was none of my business. I let him have it, he had a responsibility to the children, he had the responsiblity to get a job.
Understandibly I was upset, yet again he wasn't paying his child support. In September @ around the 8-10 I beleive, it was discovered that he actually owned the house him and his current wife, Kelly, are in. I phoned and had child support verify this and sure enough he did in fact by the house on 4/2/2000. According to the recods at the child support office it was down as he only rented the house. On September 12, 2005 he phoned me at work to let me know that he was moving to Florida. I said what about the house, he stated that we only rent the house but that Kelly had received a large sum of money from her fathers estate and she purchased a house in Florida. I told him good luck on selling the house in CT because ther is a lien on it. He started yelling that he didn't own the house they were just renting it. I told him not according to the accessors office. Needless to say he was furious. A couple of days later as I was taking my son to his therapy session, Steven wanted to know why I was so upset. I told him about the child suppoort situation and he got on his cell phone and called Richard. They spoke and then I took the phone and let him have it, I told him that he needed to find a job and start paying his child support. He stated that his wife just handed him a cashier's check for 20,000 and that if I didn't accept the offer then they (his family) were going to use the money to go on vacation to Florida and swim with the dolphons. At the time he owed legally owed @24,000, with the interest that legally the children were entitled to it was @26,000. After the yelling match out side the therapists office I came home and called him again, much calmer, and said that I would be willing to take what was Legally owed, dropping the interest, but he would have to work with the county. I would settle for I think the amount was 23,452.00 and he would offer the county 17,000. The next morning I phoned him back after talking with the Child Support Division to let him know that I told them I would drop the interest that was owed and he would need to work with what the county was legally owed now. The county wouldn't go for the amount that he wanted to pay, no I don't know the figures. So instead of putting the money towards his back child support they went on vacation. He stated that he only had 40,000 to deal with because Kelly was entitled to her money out of the house. So they went on their vacation for a week. He could of used the money to pay his back child support but he choose not to. Needless to say their vacation wasn't quite what it was supposed to be because a hurricane hit, can't remember the name of that one.
So the "war" has been going since then, September 2005. I would phone him, yes probably in excess, regarding the fact that he needed to find a job and that he was falling farther and farther behind. He would say this one looks promising call me back in a couple of days and I will let you know. I would call and he would say he didn't get it. Then another round of phone calls.
In November, by this time Steve was actually talking with him too, he had all this motorcycle stuff that he was going to give to Steven. He would send it out, but that there wouldn't be a lot of stuff for Stefanie, maybe a money order for her. I said that it would be great and he would probably really appreciate it. To make a very long story short, the box never made it here until February 2006. You don't make promises to kids then not keep them.
At the end of January I did get 138.00 after 6 months of not receiving anything. As of now I have receive two checks from his new employer of 137.62 a piece.
On April 18, 2006 we go to court for the past medical. Let me explain the past medical. It is for the fact the fact that the children have both had two sets of braces. My insurance at the time that the braces where put on didn't cover the cost of the braces. I paid the money out of pocket. It wasn't only for cosmetic purposes but also because their jaw line was so narrow there wasn't enough room for their adult teeth to come in. The first set of braces for Stefanie was paid with my income tax check back in 1996 and 1997. For the next three sets of braces, one more for Stefanie and two more for Steven I paid for out of my own pocket, insurance didn't cover it and even when Richard had insurance it was NOT for our area. That is what we are going to court for on the 18th.
I hope that this mini novel here explains how things have happened. I am not the perfect parent, but I have always provided for and will continue to provide and fight for the child support that is due to my kids.
Thanks for the medical update Kelly, but don't need one. I have a sister who is a Registered Nurse and my doctor watches me very closely because of the heart disease in my family and the fact that I do have hight blood pressure and cholestoral. I also take something to help me sleep but that is all you need to know my medical is none of your business. Now that I have written a novel, yet again, I have other things to do.
As of today's date April 2, 2006 he is in the arrears 16,346.35 and owed Monterey county 49,888.28 totally 66,234.63. That can be verified by calling 1-888-313-1563.
#57 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, April 02, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, April 02, 2006
Sharon says:
Legally owed, dropping the interest, but he would have to work with the county. I would settle for I think the amount was 23,452.00.
Sharon also states:
As of today's date April 2, 2006 he is in the arrears 16,346.35
So, 20,000 wasn't enough, it looks like it was more. That wouldn't benefit the kids.
After it was shot down about me helping, yet once again. Why would I offer anymore like you mention Sharon. Pay the back child support? Looks like that would have covered it plus more. Would have paid for those glasses and extras.
Why not take it from me, but take it from welfare? Is it because he never went back to you and stayed with me?
If your going to tell a story, you really should tell the same one every time so it is believable.
Once again I will say no one here states he owes no money. While you were working under the table and collecting welfare you choose not to seek child support or contact Richard so you could go to school on state aid.
Richard and I purchased the house after the child support was being paid and working at his steady employer. The only time we rented was when the child support issue all started. Would you like to verify this?
Sharon:
Didn't have any form of communication until June 1998.
Sharon:
Sure enough he did in fact buy the house on 4/2/2000. According to the records at the child support office it was down as he only rented the house.
We did rent a house at the time of the court documents we rented an apartment and never represented our information to the court. I am sure the courts verified this. At the time we purchased our house the child support was set and being paid.
Again, how is he a deadbeat? He has provided medical except for the time he was unemployed.
We never told her about renting our house the only mention was when we were going to move to Florida, we were going to rent out our home for investment purposes. That seems like smart business to me.
Your math skills and time lines fit only your situation at hand. I guess like I stated in the past that is what court is for.
Sharon, you are not the victim that is trying so hard to seek pity from all, the kids are the real victims, not you.
You have refused from 1998 on from anyone to have contact but once in a while around b-days and xmas just to pull that contact right after.
As for Stefanie being upset about Rachel you drilled that into her, she never knew until you informed her. To only get her upset to cut contact with her father? Does that seem like the right thing to do? Speaking of right things you have involved a minor child in an adult situation that she really doesn't understand and hasn't been given the truth for years.. Again, the only thing you said from the time you choose to leave, which was a ongoing thing you referred to him as a sperm donor. Would a child really want to know or talk to the sperm donor? Once again, nice on your part. Tell the child what you want and you get the response you want.
#58 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, April 02, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, April 02, 2006
I really think after reading your posts you two have a lot to get over without involving the kids, I will agree with Kelly, that involving the children in fights and child support issues only adds the their grief of losing a parent. As for the bi polarism, my brother has it and yes i know all about it I was a nurse as well, so sharon I do think maybe some of your symptoms have come into play ( though not your fault you are in fact medically ill)
As for the b- day cards and gifts, be honest kelly, Rich could have mailed them something regardless of what Sharon says, there is hate being bred into these porr kids, and I find that extremely sad.
Also Sharon staes she took her son bowling and discussed these issues with him, so see Sharon you are bringing the kids into it too, and you could have just said "honey don't worry thats between me and your dad, we BOTH love you very much even though we don't show it the same way"
I can't believe Rich doesn't care at all for his kids, BITH of you admit that he is paying and has paid some support, and Sharon can i ask you WHY you reused a settlement 3,420.00 cheaper,I might have the EXACT AMOUNT WRONG 20.000.00 was pretty fair , I would have taken that as the 20,00.00 unless, what you say IS TRUE and they offered it to DROP the lien on their house.That would be using the kids for balckmail which is wrong.
Nick is correct, as a nurse, I do know you can submit medical bills that were covered at that date and be compensated for them, I did it alot for my in home patients that had demtia and forgot to send them in, so you could recoup some of this money there.IF he has medical coverage even now you should be using it , his children divorced or not are HIS DEPEDANTS BY LAW an dhe can get them covered.
Many times in these postings i heard BOTH of you say these children were crying and upset, do you ask yourself why, parents are divorced, andnow they are fighting cats and dogs and bvrining US into it. One should NEVER ,EVER BAD MOUTH THE OTHER PARENT NO MATTER WHAT, I was married before I met my current husband for 3 years I had 2 kids by him, he ran from state to state as to not pay my child support order, but never once in all those 19 year ( 3 years ago he blew his BRAINS OUT IN FRONT OF HIS NEW WIFE)This man would drink and beat me to a bloody pulp , I was in critical condition 3 times, after the 3rd time I feared he would not only kill me, but the kids too in a drunken rage, so I packed up and left, (my father , I lost him last summer,)told me "Ruthie, if someone loves you, they don't want to hurt you, they want to protect you."he was right and I never went back , but when my kids got older and we told them that my current husband was not their biological father(I have been happily married now for 23 years to this wonderful man)they asked me why i wasn't with their real dad, don't get me wrong they adore "their DAD" I simply told them it was because WE didn't get along, andit had nothing to do with them, that een though mike never called or came to see his kids he loved them in his own way.I could have tood them about the beatings I took, but what would trashing their dad accomplish, nothing, absolutely nothing, but hatred for him.I tried and tried for years to collect the child support I was owed and i got in 19 years 189.00 from his estate.Now someone else told my kids what he did to me and why I left, a family memeber of mine, but it wasn't me, and I was furious with that person for it, theynever knew about the child support issues becuase marc and I ( my current husband) made sure they had what they wanted and needed in their life, so they never even knew how much or that he never paid.That meant sometimes MYSELFand myhusband working 2 jobs, I was aschool teacher/cook ( to get benefits on the kids I had to take the kitchen job) then I faced budget cuts, but I did my nursing atnight at least that was stable.You see what Iam tryingto say by exposing my life like this? the kids don't need to now they are dealing with so much peer pressure at school, and now a mom who has a legitimate illness, and then mom and dad fighting over US, Kids of divorce, as kelly should know often blame them selves for the divorce, and hearing mom and dad fighting OVER US, confirms that to them. This is strictly and ADULT MATTER and Sharon, for your kids sake no matter what Rich does or doesn't do, owes or doesn't owe, don't go into this with them even if they ask, and Don't call their house either unless it pertains to the children only and they are out of ear shot.kelly put Rich on the phone when she calls you really don't have anything to say to her and she should be talking to their father, just hand him the phone when she calls and if he isn't there get caller ID you do NOT have to pickup the phone if it is her and Rich is not home!You already know you are going to get into a fight.You can stop that by avioding her calls and forcing Rich todeal with HIS EX not you.Kelly you should never ever hold BI- POlARISM AGAINST A PERSON, THAT IS A MEDICAL CONDITION AND THATS IS JUST MEAN, YOU KNOW SHE HAS IT AND YOU KNOW SHE MAY CALL IN THE NIGHT RANTING, MY BROTHER DOES THAT TO MY MOTHER, AND YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW SHE HAS IT AND IT CAN SURFACE, YOU YOURSELF LISTED ALL THE SYMPTOMS.DON'T PICK U THE PHONE IF IT IS TOOLATE AND SHARON YOU SHOULD REFRAIN YOURSELF FROM THAT. YOU KNOW THE TIME DIFFERECE, YOU STATED IT YOURSELF, SO YOU HAVE To BE AWRE OF WHAT TIME YOU ARE CALLING.
I really have hopE for you guys if you can get past the fighting and hopefully, some of the damage you adults have done to those children can be repaired. This has gone on for years and yet nothing constructive BY BOTH OF YOUR SAY SO has ever accomplished anything.Except hurting the kids.Sharon, calling and screaming is getting you no where so encourage your kids to love their father, and not hate him and all of you refrain yourseves from bashing on eachother in front of those children.kelly you can use sharon as an excuse for not sending cards or gifts but thats just that an excuse, mail those kids something. Why didn't you guys ask Rich's kids with that 20,000.00 to swim with the dolphins with their FAMILY too? AFTERALL THEY ARE YOUR FAMILY, Right there you and Rich told them you are a seperate family. Thats enough money to send for them, and Sharon, I would encourage you to talk them into going to see their father and have a relationship with him despite YOUR feelings.i really hope you guys work this out, I get Rich has paid support faithfully, I get that sharon calls and rants and raves and I also get kelly insults her every chance she gets too, so see it all of you adding to the problem and not just Sharon, Rich, or Kelly and quit playing the balme game, if Rich owes her money then he should pay it, they are his kids too, BUT MOST OF ALL DON'T GO ON THE WAY YOU ARE. JUDGING FROM WHAT I HAVE SEEN ON HERE, BY BOTH OF YOUR SAY SO, YOU BOTH SAID, THOSE KIDS ARE IN TEARS, you don't have to like eachother, but you can be civil and work this out.WITHOUT MAKING THOSE KIDS CRY.They wouldn't cry so hard if they hated their dad or mom or even you kelly , they love you thats why they hurt.Get counseling if you need to , but be constructive andconsiderate of those kids.
#59 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, April 02, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, April 02, 2006
You can talk all the mess you want to about me. When I left him it was for good. He has never attempted to come and see his children. There is no way that I would allow my daughter to travel across county to see her "father" when she was 12 years old due to the fact that for 9 years, since she was 3 he never wanted to see her or deal with child support, I don't care if the almighty himself sealed the papers that she would come back home, it was not going to happen. He never exercised his custodial rights and would do the paperwork, that is a fact.
As of now, the children want nothing to do with him, you or anyone in that family!!! Can you read?? Saying that he was glad her grandmother died and happy they were divorced sealed the issue of the children wanting contact. Retaliation-happy his father died. Tit for tat. It has been said and it can not be taken back. If you want to discuss this further, do it in person with me on April 18, 2006 at 8:30 am at the Monterey Court House.
If you, as being his loving wife, want to Pay for his irresponsibilities her are the figures:
$16,346.35 in arrears
233.61 in current medical
5,411.26 in back medical (this is the amount for court on the 18th)
Grand total $21,991.22 I don't accept personal checks. That would take care of what he legal owes. Then he wouldn't be a deadbeat.
#60 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Dianne - Ocala (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, April 02, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, April 02, 2006
I would like to add a couple of things to this whole saga of yours.
First, I never wanted to get in the middle and you made sure you had contact when it was good for you. When I have had contact with you, you wanted to Rich bash and he is my son. I was not going to be put in the middle of your problems and was not going to take your side on any of these matters, in fact because he is my child those maternal instincts you claim to have for your children kicked in on my side. Or are you the only one who has those maternal instincts?
I would have loved to have contact with the kids, they are my grandchildren after all. You made sure that unless we would agree with you that none of our family could talk or have any contact with them.
Don't pull this song and dance we had your number, we did not always have your number. Also, I might add this is a two way street you had our number and you knew how to get a hold of us. After all that is the original contact you made with us years after he left was when you found Dickie's name in the phone book and thought it was Rich's number. We never told you that your calls were not welcome I simply would not agree with you so the calls stopped. Funny how that works. Similar to this ?blog? you have created, agree with me or don't post a rebuttal, I think that is how you put that in one of your rambling Rich bashing statements.
This past Christmas you were friendly and were anxious to send pictures so I could, after all these years see the kids and what Steven looked like. After all you never sent but one or two pictures after he was born or did you forget that.
I think it's pretty sad that you have never sent pictures of the children to us but the only contact you wanted with us ended when we would not give you the dirt on Rich and what he was doing and who he was with. I did say that correctly you wanted only to know who he was with and about what he was doing. And in fact when offers of gifts were brought up you always said and I paraphrase here ?Oh no don't send a bike just send the money!?
Your bitterness and jealously has got the best of you for all these years. Don't you think someone who cares that much for their kids would make sure they were able to contact all their family members? Even now when Rich's sister tried to make contact with the children you only wanted to bad mouth him and could not let any of this hatred toward him go so that your children could know the rest of their family. We do have a strong family and the kids would have been loved and treated very well. It is sickening that they are missing out and have missed out. Look at all the kids in the world who have nobody who really cares.
I would love to be able to have spoken with the kids and speak with them now. Maybe it is to late but you did make sure of that.
Don't play me for a fool and don't play some innocent act that it is my fault and I spoke profanity to you. You have told my daughter via instant message and you never stop telling Rich and his wife that I called you names, now let's use our head here why would I do something like that and jeopardize the contact with my grandchildren.
My granddaughter now tells me that in the last night phone conversation with Rich you shouted that you were glad Rachel's Grandfather was dead, and hoped he died a horrible and suffering death. What kind of a sick perverse person are you?
Do you have any idea how hard a death can be on a very close family, Rachel and Dickie were very close, and for you to allow Stefanie to shout these kind of things over the phone is ridiculous not to mention irresponsible on your part. Rachel also heard the f words coming out of your daughters mouth calling Rachel names and saying all this out landaus things about anyone not agreeing with you.
This is the way you brought up my grandkids? You should be ashamed of yourself to allow the children to speak this way about any family. Whether they want to have any contact or not it doesn't make it proper. I know that your mother passed right before Dickie, did I call your house and say I hope she suffered? No, I am better than that. Whether we have had issues in the past due to the divorce and not seeing eye to eye I still would have never called and said such a rotten, vindictive and cruel thing to you about your mother.
Since it seems like money is the root of all evil as far as your concerned would you charge me to speak with kids? I realize they want no contact but I'm sure if you were offered a couple bucks things would certainly change.
Why did you post all these statements, you must have known that it would create more animosity and not get you what you wanted.. You did know that right?
#61 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
POSTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
So wait...
Let me get this straight. Never mind what he owes the county, that's between him and the county. Can we all agree that Monterey County will deal with Richard at some point, and really has little to do with this issue?
Richard owes 23K
He had a money order for 20K
Sharon refused because it was not the full amount
Sharon, that was NOT a bad deal that they offered, all things considered. How could you refuse a payment of ANY amount? Unlike all the deadbeats and walk-away "victims" that I have as friends in my life, YOU were offered something. I would say that, ALMOST by default, Richard is not a deadbeat! ALMOST!
You have the right to ask for the full amount. I won't say otherwise. But even a credit card or bill collector would give you 15% off (or more!) to settle an overdue account.
Why didn't you accept that, Sharon? How can you turn down money, and then complain that you're not getting money if what Kelly said is true?
You COULD have taken the 20K, and assuming the remainder was still 3k over, you could have then submitted all the past medical bills to Richard's health insurance and EASILY recovered the rest. And no doubt, had a little extra for yourself!
THAT would have been a win-win situation - You'd get money and then some, Richard would be paid up, and you'd be up to date.
I can sympathize them taking a vacation with the money, I can sympathize with their anger, and their effort if it is REFUSED. A judge probably won't, but I don't think many judges live "in real life" when their job is "the law".
Of course, the right answer would have been for Richard to send it anyway. But now, he can contest the validity of Sharon's claim. Maybe that will bring some perspective to both parties.
Sharon:
Owed more than 20,000 at the time. Condition with taking the money drop lien on the house, which by the way Monterey County didn't even have it on record that he owned a house. Once verified, lien placed on house.
The condition of dropping a lien would be the decision of Monterey County, the filer of said lien. You don't have the power to drop a lien. If you do, then please explain how you would go about doing that. I need an answer here, because I have a lien on MY house from not paying a HOA special assessment. I'd like to see if my wife can use your formula so that I can get someone else (her) to remove the lien that someone else placed on my house by paying my wife in full for something.
(grin)
Sharon:
Past medical-I was told by Richard that his attorney told him that the braces for the kids were cosmetic and that he wasn't responsible so he wasn't going to pay what was agreed upon.
Wait a minute - 20K was offered! Richard IS requried to pay child support. Like I said, you can't just enslave him for half of whatever the kids need. He has a right to lead a normal life after he pays his child support. He also has a right to make more money than you as long as he pays his fair share - which is decided by the court. Why do you keep making outside agreements outside of the court order? AND getting mad when he DOES give extra? That "nothing is good enough" comment from Kelly is beginning to garner merit.
Oh wait.. I'm getting ahead of myself here.
Sharon:
3. Stefanie's trip to Washington DC. Only 1 (one) money order for 40.00.
And Kelly states at that time, he was out of a job. Unless "trips for the kids" was stipulated on the court order, why would you expect ANYTHING?
It's not part of the court order for child support and half of medical AND vacations, is it?
If he DID agree on "above and beyonds" AND paid, that would impress me. Verbal agreemends don't mean squat. Court orders do. And extras like that, thought small, do show class on his part.
Kelly said:
You keep claiming he is a deadbeat to all these people and wanting them to pity you but he was paying? Yes no one denied the fact he owes back support.
Well, in all fairness, no-one CONFIRMED it, either, until recently. You didn't say much to the contrary in the beginning. As for my position, what was I supposed to think? Had you said, straight out of the gate, that he paid for 9 years, I'd have cut him some slack. *I* was under the impression he didn't pay from day one, or at least, several years. Sharon left that important detail out, and only now is it surfacing. That's why it wasn't adding up when you said Richard sent support, she called him a deadbeat because a $50,000.00 bill doesn't just appear overnight, so please at least appreciate my perspective. I only see what you show me, and what I saw was name calling and bickering.
You guys were doing that "woman bicker" stuff instead of laying out the facts. :)
Quoted:
Father is to provide the court with an update of all Medical expenses not covered by Insurance (1) one week before the hearing
But many of those medical expenses ARE covered IF Sharon would use Richard's medical! Half of a co-pay is $10.00 in most plans, + 20% of services, if the insurance is worth its salt.
Maybe optical ISN'T covered in your area. But why aren't you submitting the medical that IS covered, Sharon? Kelly noted that NOTHING was ever submitted. (How you know that, Kelly, is rather unconventional - please explain)
Kelly:
You are correct in the fact when the eyeglasses came up she would only go to an eye doctor, it was stupid to shop around and she didn't understand why people would do that.. I don't know about you but I shop around to save money? Doesn't that make sense to do?
YES! I go to Wal-Mart optical. (Ruth - heh heh heh! It's true!) Go figure, I'm cheap that way. And if money is such an issue for Sharon, she should ALSO be budget conscious, if not for common courtesy for her ex-husband, for HERSELF.
But she's buying glasses AND contacts. That's not medically necessary, I don't care WHAT the ailment is. In fact, many optical ailments discourage contacts. But either way, it's a LUXURY to have both, and here I am defending Sharon for trying to keep food on the table. I sense some shenanigans are afoot here....
Sharon:
So the "war" has been going since then, September 2005.
7 months IS a long time for no child support. But if his record was pretty clean and he is worthy of having steady work, then he'll have to pay it back. But that doesn't make him a deadbeat.
A "latebeat" maybe. :) (you heard it here first, folks!)
Kelly:
Why not take it from me, but take it from welfare?
That WOULD be welfare fraud if welfare was chosen over 20K, because 20K would not only disqualify you for welfare AND likely HUD assistance, but you'd probably have to pay some of that 20K BACK to the gub'ment. Again, you (Sharon) didn't mention this before.
Kelly:
While you were working under the table and collecting welfare
That would ALSO be welfare fraud. Where were you working under the table, Sharon? (Kelly - no army barracks jokes from YOU either!) So many surprises, all in one day! Hooray for teh intarweb!
Please tell me that someone is going to post the transcript of this court hearing.
Finally, regarding the kids...
Well, let's just say that I'm not the "sensitive type". (can you tell?) I'm not about to get into feelings and thoughts of people I don't know. But suffice it to say that kids aren't dumb, they DO see through the bull$#!t that adults toss at them, and they will eventually see you for what (and who) you are.
#62 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
POSTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
Ruth-Thank you for reading all of the postings. You and Nick have hung in there. I hate to informa everyone but I don't have bi-polar or any other mental illness. My medical records aren't open for the publick. I do have high blood pressure, high choletorol, I take melatonin to help me sleep-insomnia (which I have had for a long time that is why I take melatonin) and counceling to help with the fact of my mothers death which I am (and the children are) getting counceling for, which I have been bashed for by Richard himself, because I don't have the perfect family like he does.
At the time that the 20,000 was offered Richard owed far more than that. The account itself was going through an audit to be sent to CT for enforcement. Once the audit was done that amount changed and I even questionsed the child support division about it. They said that amounts often change onec an audit is in place so the figures that I have stated in my las blog are correct, as close as it can be until the final judgement.
The bills that he gets for the current medical have all been paid in full by myself. And the medical is now to be split in half between the two of us, but since he doesn't carry medical on the children and I can't put a insurance company name down, the doctors office doesn't allow a persons name I am responsible for the bills and I pay for them at the time of service.
I have an open and honest relationship with the children ages 17 and 14. They are wonderful kids and in our house we don't lie, it is just not accepted. I have never lied to the kids and I won't start now. By Richard saying that he was happy that their grandmother died, he ruined all hope of ever having a relationship with his children. They are allowed to talk anyway they want to him, regardless of who agrees with it. I myself have never cared what people think of me or my actions, but when I am wrong I do admit it. I am not the perfect parent nor do I claim to be, but I am always honest and open with them, fault me for it if you want but lieing is not acceptable.
Diane-wondered when you would get involoved. Ther was a time back in 96 and 97 when you actually spoke with the children, I know you said that you don't remember and that I have never sent pictures. To be honest I didn't read what you have to write, you opinion doesn't mean anything to me. You raised your son, not me, and my son will not turn out to be the way yours has. The family is more then welcome to come to the court date, rally all the support for Richard, I don't care. As far as your family never having a way to stay in touch with us, maybe you should of asked your son, I have lived in the same apartment complex since 1996 and have had the same phone number for probably over 11 years now. But you never remember a conversation that we had regarding the pictures that I did send you of the kids and you stating that if Richard wanted his own pictures he should pay his support, but now that is neither here nor there. His actions and words have change his relationship with the kids.
There are a lot of people that don't like me, so be it. I have a wonderful life with my kids, husband and family. The kids are well loved by the members of my family who have always been there. They know who truely love and care about them. If people don't like me fighting for the child support then so be it. Diane, one part I did read, save your money, they won't talk with you either, but feel free to ask Rich for the phone number if you want.
I have to get ready for work, and will not make anymore blogs on this site until the court date. I have a life to live, work, family, and my other job as well, yes I do work two jobs, the other one doesn't pay, put gives me satisfaction and my kids are very proud of the work that I do.
May all of you who have contributed to this site have a wonderful life and take care of yours. I will not be posting until after the 18th.
Sharon
#63 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
POSTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
Even though I said in the last posting which I am not sure if it has posted yet, that I wouldn't answer, I feel that I want to answer to you.
I was on AFDC from 1991-1996. In 1996 I graduated with an AS Degree in accounting. I am employed as an Accounting Specialist now. I worked as a student worker by day during breaks in my class schedule and at night I worked at a department store. I still carried a full load 12 units and took care of my kids. I made it whether on was on assistance or not at the time there was no help at all from Richard. So now he and his whole family are pissed because he is being held accountable. His problem not mine.
I do have all the paperwork on and I am hoping to get my scanner hooked back up so that I can scan the divorce papers and the current court papers. Right now that will have to come at a later time. I am getting ready to attend a seminar.
As for my sons eyelasses. I don't shop around when it comes to his eyes, and no my insurance doesn't cover optical an anyone in my family but myself. He has a regular doctor, one that I trust and knows what his eye condition is. So what if he chooses to wear contacts now. He wore glasses for years and I told him that I would get him contacts when he was old enough for the responsibility. Since I do have sole, physical, legal custody of both of my children I am the one that makes the chocies, not Richard or Kelly.
As far as the back medical goes, the insurance DIDN't cover it. I don't know how much clearer that can be made. That is what I am going to court for on the 18th. It will be cleared up then.
As far as my family living in Federal Housing, I have been their since 1996 a year before I was off of AFDC. I have the lease at home when I had to renew when I moved my mother in with us. It is all legal, if it wasn't they would kick us out.
The fact is that Richard never told the Child Support Division that he owned a house, and Kelly got caught in the middle of it, she married him baggage and all. If she doesn't like the situation then get out. Or come to court. The lien has been placed and until the lien is paid in full then it will not be taken off. At the time that he found out about the lien, he lied and said that he didn't own the home. Once it was confirmed the County put the lien on plus the back child support that he owed. After the audit was done on the account to send it over to CT for enforcement it was found that he owed less then the 23,000 and the interest. When we talked after the blow up at the doctors office we ageed that he would pay me the legal amount owed to the kids which at the time was somewhere around 23,542.00 if I remember correctly. Yes, he would have to deal with the County on what he owed. When the county didn't accept his offer for settlement with them then they took the vacation. Yes he could of paid the back child support but he didn't, again his decision.
I have to run know but I hope, Nick that I have answered some, or most of your questions. I always did the best that I could in raising my children and I will continue to do so. No, I don't shop around when it comes to their health or their eyes, fault me for that. I am the one who takes care of them, not Richard or Kelly.
#64 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
POSTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
Okay, I agree with nick if montery county put the lien on the house , you taking the 20 thousand would not have in fact, allowed you to take the lien off, it wasn't put there by YOU BUT by the county, to put welfare money back into the system for aid to other mothers.
Sharon, when I read the post from grandma, I was extremely sad for her, why is it anyone associated with Rich is cut off from your kids? and I am starting to really believe that you have in fact bashed their dad and his family so bad, that they want nothing to do with them, GRANDMAS do not owe you support, and I am deeply troubled about this death comment, NO ONE DESERVES THAT AT ALL, for Gods sake the man died, and having lost your own mom , I find it really mean that something like that should be said at all, considering dying is bad enough.
RICH OWES YOU SUPPORT and he paid it for 9 years?! yet you state he will not be able to see the kids even if he wants too? WHY should he pay support and not have visitation rights? You have never said he abused them and they are old enough to express their wishes that they want to come home after a vacation, but then Nick was right too about you guys instead of taking a vacation should have sent it to her anyways, THROUGH THE COUNTY then it is ON RECORD 20,000.00 was in fact paid towards the children, I think Sharon you have spread your hate to your kids, and you should have left them out of it entirely, hey Nick! I buy my glasses at wal- mart too ( ha ha) and just becuase we make a good living ,(well my husband does now I am disabled)I, too would have shopped around or a cheaper eye Dr.. Sharon you have refused support becuase it wasn't ENOUGH for you, 20,000.00 is alot of money and you should have taken it, when you didn't you showed that child support isn't really the issue with you but your hatred is.
Why is it so important to youto call all hours ranting and raving? Aren't you remarried? Are you unhappy in your marriage that you spend so much time making those kids hate their dad? You lead all of us to believe that he never gave you one dime in support, and it turns out, and you didn't deny he paid for 9 years until they had finacial trouble.
Nick is right, as for the trip they gave you 40.00 for, though, they say there was 2 money orders, but whatever , RICH didn't have to do that, he did it becuase he loves his kids.That maybe all they had, you, yourself, all of us, in fact, at some time or another been in finacial distress.
You and bashing on their parent and his family have deprived them of what I felt, after I read grandmas post, great grandparents, becuase she didn't agree with you?
That is not a good reason to deprive a grandparent of their grandchildren , becuase you hate their father.
Unfortunatley, for you Sharon, Rich has rights ,he pays support, he should be able to see them, with out your hatred for him being involved.
As for your daughter swearing, if that was my kid it would have ate soap talking to an adult like that, how can you condone your child swearing at an adult at all no matter who they are?!
The reason those kids don't want to see their dad I truly believe is becuase YOU cannot let your hatred go for him, these postings of YOUR own make that clear, YOU REFUSED 20,000.00 OVER A LOUSY 3,400.00 difference, that was pretty generous and coming from someone who only got 189.00 of my exs estate for child support in 18-19 years , I would have jumped on that one.
If someone doesn't "hate " Richard as you do then they are put down to your kids, I have the feeling you had quite a talk about their grandma too, WRONG SHARON. Those are her grandchildren she owes you no support, and she doesn't owe it to you to bash on her own son, would you bash on your son to his ex, when he grows up and gets married? I doubt it.
Gift and cards adressed to the kids from their father can only be opened by them,if you do it it is a federal offense, tampering with other peoples mail.
So Kelly, Rich address gifts cards etc, to the CHILDREN, and if they don't receive them notify the postmaster general.That would end the you don't send b-day cards and gifts, if they refuse them fine, You have done all you could, Kelly, and Rich have YOU EVER FOUGHT FOR THE FATHERS RIGHTS WHEN YOU WERE PAYING CHILD SUPPORT FOR 9 YEARS!?
Sharon you are a huge influence on those kids and if you talked more positively about their father to them, maybe they would not try to please you by hating him as well, why on earth did you bad mouth their father to them anyways?!
YOU AND RICH GOT MARRIED, YOU AND RICH HAD TWO KIDS, YOU AND RICH DIVORCED, THE CHILDREN DIDN'T DIVORCE HIM UNTIL YOU STARTED THIS YOUR DAD STUF, YOU SOMPLY DO NOT USE YOUR CHILDREN AS AN OOUTLET FOR WHATEVER GOES WRONG BETWEEN YOU AND RICH.LET IT GO Sharon and encourage the kids to get to know their dad YOU CHOSE HIM TO BE YOUR DAD, they have nothing to do with any money he owes you and it is hard to feel "sorry" for you after even reading your own postings that you tell those kids these things about heir dad, you hate him, therfore, they need to hate him, you like it that way. You are wrong there Sharon try being a good mother and not passing your hatred for their father on to them, i didn't waste my life or agression going after mikelike this and ot his kids too, instead i knew he wasn't gonna pay up and that I chose him for the father of my kids , so I took care of it myself, mike was a non entity.yes, I hated him but I didn't let it RULE our lives, I still let his mother see them and sent photos and not only at x mas.
I can almost promise you if your kids who are under your influence all the time didn't hear this negative about thier father they wouldn't hate him as you do, you have deprived them of grandparents that woman OBVIOUSLY tried to stay out of it, so she could see her grandkids , the fact you were talking toher after the divorce says that, okay she won't bash on her own son, so she is cut off? not fair, Sharon not fair at all. let that woman talk to her grandkids and talk positivley about her to them.She didn't do anything to those kids to deserve to be alienated.I know you are going to think I am the devil and I am sorry for that, BUT re read these postings they are about YOU AND HOW YOU FEEL and you should really encourage a relationship with their father whether you like it or not, he can't be all bad if he had medical insurace on them and faithfully paid support for 9 years!Like it or not IF Rich is paying support and by your own say so he is having money taken out of his check to send to you again, he DOES have rights to his kids,( and Rich I would exercise that right a little more too, despite what mom says, you can get the court to give you visitation and she can't deny you it, and spend time with your kids whether at first they want to or not, if the courts order visitations they are minors they have to abide by the courts, so they can see dad isn't so bad and be positive about their mother to them kelly too.) so why don't you adults put YOUR feelings aside YES, YOUR feelings for eachother, Sharon Kelly and Rich and try to rebuild what you broke by putting those kids in the middle.
NOTE TO NICK::::: I have to go to Wal mart tonight for vacuum bags they are 4 bucks cheaper there, hopefully i don't run into Spock or Kirk (LOL)
#65 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Dianne - Ocala (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
POSTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
Now that Sharon cannot get the support she is asking for. Because her lies are catching up with her she will finally be quiet.
To all of you who do not believe, "There is actually a God out there."
Let's enjoy the piece and quiet.
#66 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
POSTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
Is everyone going silent?
You couldn't get a word in edgewise a week ago.
#67 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
POSTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
No I am not going silent on the issue. The fact still remains that he is "behind" as you put it. I have gone down to the court house this morning to make sure that all is in place for the court hearing and everything is in place.
The facts are:
-I was on AFDC.
-During such time, Richard didn't pay child support
-County wants their money back for helping me support the kids. I didn't sit around and do nothing. I worked as much as I could and received the education necessary to get off of the system.
-He is in arrears and owes back child support not only to his children but also to the county that is the reason for the lien placed on the property. That is why Kelly is so upset, also because now she can't send anymore weight loss things to me or have them call my cell phone, next best thing to do attack me on the internet.
-All of his family will always agree with him. That is just a fact. They can stand behind him 110%, the fact remains that none of them would have any contact with the children even though Richard has the address and telephone number.
-Things were said that can't be taken back between him and his daughter. She will never forgive him and neither will Steven. I don't blame them. They are entitled to their opinion.
The day in court is coming. As of today there has been no filing from him on the case. From past experience with him, 99.9% of what comes out of his mouth is BS. If I am such a bad mother then why not file to have joint if not sole custody? The answer to that question is that I am not a bad mother, and I will continue to fight for child support rights.
Now his family will respond yet again on how I should of taken the money that was offered back in September out of the kidness of Kelly's heart. That was not the amount legally owed at that time and I couldn't remove the lien.
Any more questions and I will be happy to answer.
#68 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
POSTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
I tried to post last night and it didn't..
I would like to first say if Sharon does call I answer and say hold on. I know I will say something I shouldn't. As far as the kids we have sent stuff and when we did it was always wrong and Sharon had something nasty to say about it. We have tried. Maybe Rich or myself could have tried harder.( I will not deny that) As for their past birthdays we were always told to send money, not gift cards, money. I will say one thing that I like to shop and would have sent those kids anything (within reason) We did sent MP3 players we sent them before xmas and told them they didn't have to wait. See, not all is mentioned.
Here is something not mentioned too. We offered to meet them in Las Vegas, which was more than meeting half way and I offered to pay for Sharon, Gary and the kids to meet us for a vacation. Rich wanted the opportunity to see the kids and speak with Sharon. We asked how far the drive would be and it wasn't but 6 hours or so (don't quote me exact on that) we felt that wasn't that far. If the drive was an issue something should have been said. We offered to pay for all meals, expenses and hotel. We have tried. That would have been a wonderful experience for my daughter to get to meet them and Rich to see the kids. I was willing to put all aside for the kids and Rich's sake. So now, I have offered money and a vacation both shot down quicker than you could blink. It really is a shame. I just gave up. Wouldn't anyone? Especially when it is only my responsibility when it is convient for her. Then the other times like earlier mind my own business.
Rich never said anything about the death of her mother, he did say that something about the divorce between her parents. Now, since we have brought the fact to light about the death issue, she is claiming its tit for tat. It wasn't. Would that still make it right?
#69 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
POSTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
I tried to post last night and it didn't..
I would like to first say if Sharon does call I answer and say hold on. I know I will say something I shouldn't. As far as the kids we have sent stuff and when we did it was always wrong and Sharon had something nasty to say about it. We have tried. Maybe Rich or myself could have tried harder.( I will not deny that) As for their past birthdays we were always told to send money, not gift cards, money. I will say one thing that I like to shop and would have sent those kids anything (within reason) We did sent MP3 players we sent them before xmas and told them they didn't have to wait. See, not all is mentioned.
Here is something not mentioned too. We offered to meet them in Las Vegas, which was more than meeting half way and I offered to pay for Sharon, Gary and the kids to meet us for a vacation. Rich wanted the opportunity to see the kids and speak with Sharon. We asked how far the drive would be and it wasn't but 6 hours or so (don't quote me exact on that) we felt that wasn't that far. If the drive was an issue something should have been said. We offered to pay for all meals, expenses and hotel. We have tried. That would have been a wonderful experience for my daughter to get to meet them and Rich to see the kids. I was willing to put all aside for the kids and Rich's sake. So now, I have offered money and a vacation both shot down quicker than you could blink. It really is a shame.
Rich never said anything about the death of her mother, he did say that something about the divorce between her parents. Now, since we have brought the fact to light about the death issue, she is claiming its tit for tat. It wasn't. Would that still make it right?
#70 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
POSTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
Sharon:
That was not the amount legally owed at that time and I couldn't remove the lien.
I'm trying to understand this remove the lien stuff. I guess we're not letting the Monterey County stuff go, and that makes it more confusing. But explain this: How would Richard paying you, even in full, remove the lien from his house? Wouldn't he have to pay the county for the county to remove the lien?
Richard could have easily put the house in his wife's name to avoid the lien and protect his interests, if he was really geared towards not paying you - we all know that it doesn't take a genius' imagination to come up with that as a solution if he wanted to be a deadbeat - but he didn't.
Again, why would the county forgive a $50k debt if Richard paid you $23k of which he additionally owes? That just doesn't make sense.
Sharon, you are entitled to the full amount that the court specifies. But if my choice if receiving money was 85% of it or nothing, I'd have taken the 85%. There's something here that just doesn't add up. Was it that Richard would get off the hook for 3K that kept you from accepting his offer? Or is there something else in play here?
And Kelly, it would be in Richard's best interest to face a judge and present his side of the case.
Kelly:
I tried to post last night and it didn't..
Sometimes my posts don't go through either. It's mad frustrating.
#71 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Nadine - Cumming (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
POSTED: Monday, April 03, 2006
Ok so I don't know you and I don't know your situation but wow! I was reading the story like a novel. I do have an opinion for as much as I know, which isn't much on this situation.
Child support is for the children, if a father isn't paying the family suffers. When that father re-marries, well it makes it harder for the mother to have to deal with that financial neglect. She looks at that new family and thinks, they have all these things and we had to struggle and have nothing because of him. He's getting a break. I'm not.
I hope the courts decide what is best for the children. If you are all adults then really let it rest and put this crap to an end. I can't believe how many times I heard you all say. I'm done, no more it's peaceful; then then the drama comes back. I hope that you all really do move on and that the kids help emotional and financial. No matter who is right or wrong. Good luck!
#72 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, April 04, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Your right the whole lien stuff is confusing, Sharon was willing to remove the lien(she said she could get the lien removed)then we later found out the county would have to not her.
One thing is right we could have put the house in my name only but we didn't. At that time, he was faithfully paying child support and we did nothing wrong by purchasing a home. I have worked for years too. Again, we didn't pull the wool over anyones eyes.
Her statement was she wanted it all. The 23,000(around that figure) is what she would settle nothing lower. As her figures are posted above and they are fuzzy due to the fact they change during this whole thing. It looks to me that she would have made out. How could anyone complain? Now that the support is back on schedule and he has been paying, it takes the state a while to get it to her. She is still complaining that she has only gotten a couple of payments. Well, that is between her and the county, not our fault.
Rich will tell his side in court. Although, it won't be in person as she keeps pushing. She has already been threatening to him.(shotgun) For whatever reason she keeps pushing to have him show up there. Again, wouldn't that make you wonder about my statements that she can't let go?
#73 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, April 04, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Kelly-Yes Richard did make the offer to go to Veags. I choose not to because if he wants to see the kids he can come to CA to do so. He has never exercised his right to do so in the past, and as far as I am concerned, I don't beleive a word that comes out of his mouth. He wants something different to happen take me to court, which has to be done in CA because that is where the case originates. That is just a fact and yes I am sticking to the fact.
Ruth-As far as Diane, the wounded grandmother goes, give me a break she has always known where I live and has always had the phone number. After a blow up with her when she referred to me as a F****** B****, which she doesn't remember doing, as she was leaving for vacation, I choose to never contact her again and she did likewise. Again she has always had the address and phone number.
Nick-in order to remove a lien you have to satisfy the lien in Full. The only agreement that I made with Richard, and yes it was conditional on Monterey County dropping the lien on the house, was that I would drop the interest, this made him very happy and he even wrote an e-mail to me expressing his thoughts on how I was a good role model to his children and thanking me for taking care of them all these years even though it must of been hard, but when Monterey County wouldn't settle for the amount that he offered, then the money went to pay for their vacation. The money was used the way they wanted to use the money. I don't have control over that nor do I want control on that matter.
The fact of the matter is that:
-I don't have a mental condition.
-Kelly is pissed because I won't take her hand outs, and I won't drop the lien. Monterey County wants their money too.
-Richard doesn't answer any court paperwork and has not provided the court with his financial information although I have had to provide mine.
-I have been threated with Kelly trying to get my family (myself, my husband, and the kids) kicked out of where we live because she feels that we make to much money to live where we do. Now who is lilly white here? She is just mean and vendictive just like the rest of the family. But when Stefanie asked Richard if her and her brother could come live with them he said sure, no problem come on over. If my houseing was a problem I would of already been kicked out.
-If I am such a bad mother then Richard should of filed papers wanting to have joint custody and exercised his visitation rights. He has never done so. I was just down looking at the case file yesturday. As I have stated before, he doesn't want to go to court and doesn't file paperwork. If you can afford an attorney then pay back what you owe. Don't give conditions on what I have to do, like drop the lien, I can't do that, Monterey County wants their money to. I have the court papers to prove it. Come to court and I will have all the papers there.
#74 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Elizabeth - Saint Charles (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, April 04, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, April 04, 2006
The only thing I want to hear about your court date at this point is that the judge was wise enough to order ALL of you to go to family counseling so you learn to grow up and become decent parents. You people need to give some SERIOUS thought to mediation or counseling. What you are doing to those kids filling them with hate and allowing such disrespect is awful. Get the heck off the internet and take a parenting class. You need it.
#75 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, April 04, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Sharon
by your own admission they offered to meet you halfway for a trip to vegas expenses paid, but YOU WANTED ALL OR NOTHING, now , that doesn't sound fair to me or the kids, you posted this posting I assume to get, A) advice or B). hurt Rich and his family
If my ex would have offered to meet me halfay so he could see his kids, I would have done it.WHAT is more important here, them rebuilding with their dad, or YOUR anger, you left out alot like he paid faithfully for 9 years, until they had finacial trouble and also, I stand by grandma, my current mother in law, up until I had been married to her son 19 years called me everyname in the book , and anyone will tell you even her herself she had no reason, other than she couldn't let her son go to another woman. BUT I still faithfully attended family functions, so she could have a relationship with her grandkids. I am getting the picture, YOU are out for Rich's blood and you resent he has a new family, so you hit him and his family where it hurts, by using the KIDS. there was no reason for you not to meet them halfway except your own anger.So she got mad and called you that name, answer this WERE YOU ALL NICEY NICEY TO GRANDMA? and she just peeled out with it? I have the feeling anyone that disagrees with you gets hit with those kids and you are not doing them any favors by behaving this way, their father HAS made attempts to send them gifts, (YOU LEFT THAT OUT TOO, I BELIEVE YOU SAID THE GET NOTHING FOR B_ DAYS AND HOLIDAYS) now, we find thats not true. My mother in law adores me now, and i am so glad for my childrens sake I hung in there , they have a wonderful grandma , but the point is i didn't let her view OF ME stop her from seeing her grandkids, maybe she doesn't call out of fear of another tirade out of you, I know, I am a witch to you now , BUT YOU DID LEAVE OUT PERTINENT INFORMATION REGARDING MONEY OFFERS, VACATIONS, GIFTS ETC, and GRANDMA didn't call your kids names, and I bet you have that woman scared to DEATH TO CALL YOUR HOUSE, so why don't you be an adult and call her and put her grandkids on the phone, why does everyone have to DO IT YOUR WAY (WHICH YOU WON'T BEND AT ALL ON AND COMPROMISE)OR NO WAY AT ALL.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT SUPPORT, YOUR PoSTINGS MAKE IT CLEAR BY ATTACKING HIS FAMILY THE WAY YOU HAVE, TURNING YOUR KIDS AGAINST THEM, YES, YOU HAD A LARGE HAND IN THE HATE THEY HAVE FOR THEM,SORRY BUT YOU COULD HAVE HANDLED THIS AND LEFT THE KIDS OUT , YOU CHOSE TO TELL THEM EVERY ROTTEN THING AND YOU SHOULD HAVE ACTED LIKE AN ADULT AND KEPT THE ADULT STUFF TO YOURSELF AND YES, YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THEM ON THE OFFER TO GO TO VEGAS SO THEY COULD SEE THEIR DAD. SOMEDAY, WHETHER YOU THINK SO OR NOT THEY WILL WANT THIER DAD IN THEIR LIFE, MAYBE WHEN THEY ARE OLDER , HOW ARE YOU GOING TO STOP TTHAT WHEN THEY ARE OVER AGE? RICH, YOU HAVE RIGHTS, I SUGGEST YOU AND KELLY FIGHT FOR THEM THROUGH THE COURTS, THE HATRED SPREADING TO THESE KIDS IS A DISEASE. AND ATTACKING THE DEAD NO MATTER WHO SAID WHAT IS THE WORST, AND NOT TO MENTION CHILDISH.
DIANNE: YOU SHOULD HAVE GRANDPARENT RIGHTS AND YOU CALL THOSE KIDS AND DON'T FIGHT WITH MOMMY EITHER, SHE TELLS THEM ALL, SO BE NICE AND ASK TO SPEAK TO THEM AND REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT THEIR DAD WITH THEM, SUCH AS: HOW IS SCHOOL,WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBY'S ETC. AND SHARON IF GRANDMA CALLS I SUGGEST YOU LEAVE YOUR OWN ANGER OUT AND LET HER TALK TO HER GRANDCHILDREN, THERE IS NO VIABLE REASON TO PUNISH HER, EXCEPT YOUR OWN VANDETTA.
ALSO, YOU SAID IN ONE POSTING YOU WOULD TAKE THE MONEY IN THE NEXT YOU SAID YOU WANTED IT ALL.
So I happen to feel sorry for the innocents you have drug into this fight and you have been kless thaan forth coming in this post as well , i am sorry if oyu hate me for that, but you are supossed to be an adult and an adult does NOT drag their children into these ugly matters, they protect them even if it means YOU as their mother sacrfice your own feelings and hate for them , as mothers we are to protect our kids from thissort of behaviour, I felt sorry for you at first, and thenoyu kept contradicting yourself, and then I read Diannes opinion and all became clear. YOU LIKE THE FACT THOSE KIDS LOVE YOU AND ONLY YOU. YOU ARE THE HERO PARENT AND YOU KEEP BASHING THEIR DAD FOR YOUR OWN REASONS THAT DO NOT OR SHOULD NOT BE RELAYED TO THEM. YOU ARE OWED SUPPORT BUT BY YOUR OWN SAY SO HE IS PAYING 2 TIMES A MONTH.
#76 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Angie - Norfolk (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, April 04, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Okay I have been lying low, as I worked all weekend.... And it took me all day yesterday to catch up on all the reading here.... WOW.....allot has come to light.............
Nick,
I was so please to see that you have finally caught on, there are more side to every story then have been portrayed here. I must apologize I really did not think you would figure it out. It is not often that I am but I was pleasantly surprised. That is what I have been saying all along, there is way more information that is not being put forth here, and when anyone sets out to trash some one you will see only one side. I apologize for thinking the things I thought about you.
Ruth,
Same to you, I am glad that people who have been following this blog have actually found the time to re read and realize there is more to this then what Sharon has tried to portray.
No one on the Santerre family has denied Rich owes money, I have tried to say this from the beginning there are more in depth issues here not mentioned.
Kelly,
Glad to see you have put more details into your blog entries so that more information is put out there and more of the facts can be seen by all.
Sharon,
As I have read this weekends posts I must add and ask a few things.
First of all....
If Rich offered you $20,000.00 that is Kelly's money, when you refused it why are you so upset when they actually used the money for something for them?
He has a payment plan with the County so whatever the amount he owes he is working on that, and the arrearage he owes you, isn't part of that child support he pays going toward part of that figure? (I suspect that is where the fuzzy accounting comes in; you were not taking that into account.)
As for current medical that is a figure to be worked out in court, right?
Second of all....
Just a warning these next few thought are mine and mine alone, Richard and Kelly have not been part of how I think and I will say what I feel here.....
This Las Vegas Vacation (Isn't that a title of a movie?) that was offered to you.....
My thought here is that you could not bring yourself to bring the kids because then they would have been able to make their own judgment about him, and there would be no fighting... If your kids had gotten to actually know him you would not have the ugliness you have in your live today.....
As I recall though at the time you were calling often.... about allot of issues maybe you couldn't accept the trip because you couldn't let your current husband know how you feel about Rich....
Here is my question here..... or just another thought perhaps....... Why would anyone refuse an all expense paid trip anywhere?? Especially if you have had it as bad off as you claim, free trip to Las Vegas, kids spend time with their father, you and current husband have time alone, ......
How bad does this sound to anyone reading the blog?
As a women who has children I think this would be the perfect family vacation, free, kids taken care of, free.......????
Thirdly..... (Is that a real word?)
No one is pissed at you for going back to court Sharon. The issue we have with you is this whole deadbeat thing....
As Nick so eloquently put it Rich is guilty of being a “latebeat”, as he was out of work for several months, but when Rich has worked he has always had the support taken out of his checks and sent to you via the state..
As for the first few years of your separation and subsequent divorce....
You were on state assistance, welfare or what ever it is called in California so when you divorced Rich you choose not address child support. Let me say that again “YOU CHOOSE”.... I suspect if you had asked for child support then you would not have that accounting degree now... as you would not have gotten the welfare to support you and the kids.... Rich let it be, you collected assistance for all those years, and then after you find out Rich is happy and has another child you pursued child support. Rich has paid ever since and has made the arrangements to pay back the county for all that support you received from them too.
Now all was well with all the support until Rich stopped working in July or August I can't exactly remember the time frame, but anyway you then decide to go balls to the walls.... not a problem until you decide that this is the proper forum for you to announce to the world what a “Deadbeat” Rich is........
It almost worked..... Until the Santerre family stepped up to the plate and started to slowly but surely get the facts or more of them out there for everyone to see the whole story....
And my final point here..........
You claim again that I had your number and a way to contact you.... NO Sharon I did not have anyway of contacting you or the children but when I did finally get the email address for you and the kids I tried to have contact and what did you do ..... Tried to bash my brother..... I refused to answer or discuss it and you continued to try to discuss trying to contact the kids.....but no it has to be about Rich's responsibility...
Have you raised your kids to only love or have feelings for those who you approve of........? And why on earth would my contact with the children have anything to do with weather Rich pays his child support or not????
Your son's Birthday was recently, I tried to email him 14 days before his birthday.... My email was forwarded to you and Stephanie and it came back that these addresses would not accept mail from me.... so do not again say I missed his Birthday..... Tried to IM it to your daughter this evening, although I actually think that was you on the computer, (As there were no cuss words being thrown at me which is Stephanie's style) and it was refused.... which is fine I cut and pasted the message into the IM so it was there for him to read.... Which is all I asked.....
And before you get up on your high horse if in fact it was Stephanie I am not all that up set that she does not want to hear from me, rather impressed with her composure, and the respectful way she asked me not to IM her.. Unlike in the past....
Until the next blog.......
#77 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, April 04, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, April 04, 2006
This is for Kelly, Richard and Angie-
Kelly-Thanks for the message yet again about weigth loss. You spineless B****, who only hides behind Richard. Dont' contact me with fat things again. Tell Diane, she can kisss it.
Richard-You heard what my husband had to say, Back off A******. If you had any kind of B**** you would of stood up to the plate a long time ago.
Agnie-Good Try. So sorry you got knocked down. The kids want nothing to do with any of you.
I have the copies of the divorce papers, which you through away after the divorce, they state that:
No MDR 26294 Declaration in Support of Request for Deafult Judgement (Child Support)
Sharon Marie Santerre, Plaintiff,
Vs.
SRichard John Santerre, Defendant
Oct. 2, 1992, I, Thomas P. O'Brien, declare that : I am a duly appointed deputy disctict attorney in the Family Support Division of the Monterey Country Distric Attorney's Office and I have reviewed the Family Support Division file regarding the above encaptioned matter.
I am responsible for establishment, enforcement and collection of child support and arrearages in the above entitled case.
I am a custodian of the Distric Attorney's file in this case and I am familiar with its contents.
I am informed and believe that from March 1991 through March 1992, defendent was employed at the Vallejo Police Department and had a gross monthly income of $1,384.00 during this time period. The basis of my beleif is reports of earning from the Employmnet Development Department.
Based on the financial information, a Minimum Child Support Worksheet, Attached hereto and incorparted by reference, was prepared in accordance with California Civic Code 4721.
Subsequently, it is requested that respondent be ordered to pay $222.50 per month per child for a toal fo $445.00 per month through the Monterey County Distric Attorney's Office, P.O. Box 2059, Salinas, California 93901.
A wage asseignment should be ordered and defendant should be order to obtain health insurance if available at reasonable cost.
I declare under penalty of perjury, under the laws of the State of California, that the foregoing is true and correct.
Dated: September 29, 1992
Thomas P. O'Brien
Deputy District Attorney
Now during this posting Diane, his mother, Angie his sister and his wife have been trying to engage me in conversation over the Internet. Good luch guys, Diane look through all your paperwork and you may find the divorce papers for Richard, showing that yes I was on AFDC at the time, he knew it, did not take care of his responsibilities.
Any further contact through the court. This novel is done.
Thanks for the support and non-support,
Sharon J.
#78 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Dianne - Ocala (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, April 05, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, April 05, 2006
No one has ever disagreed that you should get child support.
Which, I might add you get weekly.
Where is the problem?????????
You are getting what the court says you should get.
#79 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Concerned - Saint Petersburg (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, April 05, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Wow, has this gotten BLOWN way out of proportion!
As a mother who recieves child support, and a wife of a husband who pays child support, I can see both sides of this story.
I can understand that you need/want the money for the children, but on the other hand, do you have to be so mean and nasty about it? No wonder you don't want these around the father, they might find out they have a parent that doesn't degrade people when the going gets tough and they can't handle the critisim.
Furthermore.....
My ex-husband owes me THOUSANDS in back child support(he's currently paying) but I wouldn't dare go after him for it. You know why? Because I am capable of earning my own money and paying for my child on my own. He wasnt the only one who made my son. I was there too! Plus, I know his father needs to make a living too because of his other children with his new wife. I know I can take care of my child w/o his help if need be. I don't want his other children (my son's siblings) to go with out because of haste and greed. No offense to anyone, but some of these mother's who are running after men for child support need to stand up and take responsibility themselves. The husband/boyfriend/one-night stand, weren't the only one's to lay down and make that baby! What would happen if the father was dead? You would get on state assitance instead of working and paying you're own way. I understand it's hard in these days and times, trust me I do. But when you wake up every morning and see those beautiful face of a child YOU HELPED create, you know it's all worth it!
I may be making an assumption here but did you say you were on some sort of housing assistance?
No, I'm NOT gonna go there! But all I will say is this, take some responsibility!
My (current) husband is paying child support to a woman who doesn't even have custody of his daughter anymore. The mother's ex-boyfriend's mother has custody of her and refuses to let us see her. We were NEVER told about this "adoption" being taking place and are now being sued for child support for this person to recieve child support also. It's a sticky situation and ALOT of details are involved but we are going to court for custody on the 19th and also suing the mother of this child for child support since she has received the money and never reported she didn't have the child. Everyone is quick to go after the father of a child and not want to make a mother take responsibility for the life she also created...
Sorry this is so long, I could go on and on but I won't.
#80 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, April 05, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Sharon, read your own postings no one is DENYING support is owed, and if you got assistance than that is your business alone.
OUR point is the hatred you are spreading to your kids, by the way you stated your kids had their own minds and they could speak however they wanted, so swearing at an adult or anyone for that matter is ACCEPTABLE TO YOU AND YOU DON'T DISCOURAGE your kids to talk that way? You are raising them to be disrespectful.
I did feel sorry for you, but you know what you just did? YOU SAID GRANDMA CANNOT SEE THE KIDS ( ONLY ON YOUR TERMS) BECAUSE SHE CALLED YOU A F****** B****! Now read your last posting full of words like that. No, it is NOT okay for your children to talk to adults like that.
All I was saying, was YOUR FEELING AND HATRED SHOULD BE LEFT OUT OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR FATHER, YOU SAID THERE WERE NO GIFTS , CARDS NOTHING, NOW, I READ YOU REFUSE TO LET THE SISTER IN LAW EMAIL YOUR CHILDREN, SHE IS OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM AND I FIND IT ODD THAT BOTH GRANDMA AND SISTER IN LAW SAID BECUASE THEY WOULDN'T BASH ON THEIR BROTHER/SON TO YOU, THEN YOU CUT OFF CONTACT WITH THE KIDS,You really aren't playing fair to kelly and Rich, although, I do agree that your weight should never come into play here.
YOU started this posting, why? I can't answer that, but you state you didn't want kellys handouts, maybe they wanted to SEE THE KIDS AND YOU WANT THEM TO KEEP HATING THEM, SO YOU REFUSED A FREE TRIP TO VEGAS, sorry, I don't see that as a handout, I see it as an attempt on THEIR part to see his children, and paying for you and your husband as well, was more than doing their part, and you know what? YOU COULD HAVE WENT AND WENT OFF WITH YOUR HUBBY AND LEFT THEM WITH THE KIDS AND ENJOYED YOURSELF! Now, you say the 20,000,00was a handout?! NO, Sharon it was an attempt to pay you child support, they are married their income is as one, and I am sure your husbands and your incomes is one as well, you both have to pay the same bills no matter what you are married.
Why are you so eager to keep your kids from THEIR family, you say it is them , but read your postings if someone disagrees with you automatically ther emails get sent back, gifts are not good enough, and you say the kids hate them, there could only be one reason for that you have NOT been upfront with them, you denied them a trip to see their dad, becuase of YOUR ANGER, supossedly you are married, so why do yu want to keep this hatred going?IT IS UNHEALTHY FOR YOUR CHILDREN.Grandma and angie shouldhave everyright in the world to see your kids and not have you turn them against them becuase you hate them, they didn't marry you and JUST MAYBE SHARON DID YOU EVER THINK THAT THESE WOMEN LOVE THOSE KIDS AND MISS THEM?! Why you would not encourage a relationship with grandma and auntie is baffling.
Again , I think it comes down to your hatred, you should encourage your kids to see their dad and you should have taken them up on vegas, it wasn't a handout, it was a clear attempt for dad to see HIS kids, but you seem to be doing all you can to tell them every horrible thing about his family, so they side with mom, ( the victim) if he has paid support faithfully and got behind , that happens , but he is trying to rectify that, so many dads out there don't even CLAIM their children, and yours have a father that pays support,I wonder have you never had financial trouble, that you cannot understand rough times? If you haven't lucky you, but most people at one time or another fall behind in bills including child support, it wasn't like he was working and NOT paying you, by your own say so, he was paying faithfully until he was out of work. what he owes the county is between him and them.ONLY what he owes you should be what you are worried about and you said you were receiving support again.So basically, I am getting, he can pay support and I'll take his money alright, but as far as him or his family seeing the kids thats out unless it is on your terms, and you should be encouraging them to love their dad good or bad, he iS their father and the aunt and grandma are being punished for the exact same swearing and name calling you did in your last posting, if you are going to take the child support then give the guy credit for loving his kids enough to pay, and it wouldn't HURT you to meet in the middle once in awhile , especiially if he is paying support!this isn't really about the kids is it?
It is about you and how you can hurt them, you ARE right now by your own say so receiving twice a month support, so let the kids have a realtionship with the man and his family why bring them into it as your pawns?!Blocking out their emails shows me youmight be afraid of yourkids hearing the truth that dad DOES love them and is paying support, and did try to seee them in vegas but you had ot haveit YOUR WAY OR NONE YOU PUNISHED THEM NOT THEIR DAD CAN'T YOU SEE THAT? You are teaching them disrespect and hate good going there mom.the aunt and grandma should have acess to those kids whether YOU like themor not, and so should thier dad if he is paying support, whether YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! he desreves to not have them hate him heis paying so he is behind it sounds ot me like they are TRYING TO MAKE IT RIGHT BUT YOU ARE MAKING IT TOUGH ( THE 20,000.00 and the trip) You called it handout, it was a parent trying to pay for his kids and I commend Kelly for the offer, but kellly, I do think you should stop with the weight thing.
These postings you have posted leave the impression you are un workable and unwilling to compromise, I have to assume becuase you hate him and his family, you want them too, too and you are dead wrong if thats the case, you should be postive about them to these kids not hateful.Do you realize how many fathers DO NOT PAYONE DIME FOR THEIR KIDS OR EVEN ATTEMPT TO SEE THEM, NOT GOING TO VEGAS WAS PERSONAL, YOU DIDN'T WANT THE KIDS TO SEE THEIR DAD, AND IT REALLY WAS GENEROUS FOR THEM TO PAY YOU AND YOUR HUSBANDS EXPENSES AS WELL TO SEE THEM.i FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR KIDS CAUGHT UP IN THIS HATE DEPRIVED OF AN AUNT AND GRANDMA THAT OBVIOUSLY CARE AND TRY TO CONTACT THE KIDS BUT YET AGAIN, YOU FIXED IT SO THEY COULDN'T.THENYOU SAY THE DON'T TRY, IS THAT WHAT YOU TELL YOUR KIDS? WHAT YOU HAVE TOLD US HERE IN THIS POSTING, NO WONDER THEY ARE ANGRY, YOU COULD BE AN ADULT AND MAKE THIS RIGHT BY STOPPING BASHING ON THEM BECUASE YOU DON'T LIKE THEM, PLEASE DON NOT TAKE THIS AS AN ATTACK, IT IS WHAT I OBSERVED AND I READ EVERYONE OF THE POSTINGS CAREFULLY, YOU DON'T DENY THE MONEY OR THE TRIP, IN FACT, YOU SAID THEY COULD COME TO CALI, BUT VEGAS WOULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT EXPERIENCE FOR THME, INSTEAD YOU WANT THE MONEY AND THATS ALL, THE KIDS CAN HAVE SUPPORT BUT NO FATHER IN THEIR LIFE AND THAT IS WRONG, KELLY AND RICH DIANNE AND ANGIE FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS, THE KIDS MAY BE UNACCEPTING AT FIRST, BUT AS THEY GET OLDER THEY WILLL SEE YOU HUNG IN THERE, AND TRIED WITH EVERYTHING YOU HAD , AND THEY WILL GROW TO LIKE YOU I WOULD ENCOURAGE YOU TO KEEP SENDING CARDS AND GIFTS AND WHO CARES IF MOM SAYS NOT GOOD ENOUGH? IT IS FOR THEM NOT HER.wHATEVER YOU DO PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP ON THOSEKIDS BECUASE THEIR MOTHER ISMAKING EVERY ATTEMPT HARD FOR YOU.
I KNOW THATS A SHAME BUT HANG IN THERE AND THE KIDS WILL KNOW YOU LOVE THEM IT WILL TAKE TIME AND HURT, BUT THE KIDS ARE WORTH IT, RICH YOU ARE IN FACT PAYING SUPPORT, SO GO FOR VISITATIOON , SHE CAN'T STOP YOU GUYS IF YOU HAVE COURT ORDERED VISITATION LIKE SINCE YOU LIVE IN ANOTHER STATE( I ASSUME YOU DO IF VEGAS WAS HALFWAY)YOU CAN ASK A JUDGE FOR SUMMERS OR 3 WEEKS OUT OF THE SUMMER AND SPRING BREAK AS WELL, BUT DO NOT GIVE UP ON THOSE KIDS FIGHT FOR THEM , SHOW THEM YOU LOVE THEM EVEN IF IT MEANS MORTAGING YOUR HOME FOR AN ATTORNEY, BUT I AM SURE YOU CAN FILE FOR VISITATION YOURSELF.
PLEASE KEEP TRYING TO KEEP IN CONTACT WITH THEM.SHE CANNOT DEFY A VISISTATION ORDER AND YOU'LLGET ONE BECUASE YOU ARE PAYING SUPPORT AND I BET YOU CAN PROVE THE 9 YEARS STEADY THAT YOU DID, I WORKED AT A COURTHOUSE I KNOW AS LONG AS YOU HAVE PAID SUPPORT ( EVEN IF YOU DID GET ABEHIND)YOU WILL BE AWARDED VISITATION AND AT FIRST THEKID MAY GIVE YOU GRIEF AFTERALL, THEY HAVE BEEN TOLD HORRIBLE THINGS ABOUT YOU NOT CARING BUTyou CANCHANGE THAT AND I TRULY HOPE YOU DO, AND SHARON I PRAY YOU GET OVER YOUR HATERED AND CONSTANT ATTEMPTS TO KEEP THOSE KIDS FROM THIER DAD,AND FIND SOME PEACE, HATE IS EASY TO CARRY BUTIT GETS HEAVY AFTERAWHILE AND IAM SURE YOUR KIDS ARE REALLY WEIGHTED DOWN BY THIS.THEY ARE THE INNOCENT ONES,HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT PEOPLE IS NOT A LICENSE TO MAKE THEM HATE PEOPLE, AND FOR THE LIFE OF ME I CANNNOT UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN TAKE HIS SUPPORT THEN TURN HIS KIDS AGIANST HIM.AND HONESTLY YOUR KIDS SHOULD BE TAUGHT RESPECT SWEARING AT ADULT IS NOT EXPRESSING THEMSELVES, IT IS DISRESPECTFUL AND YOU AS THEIR MOTHER SHOULD TEACH THEM NOT TO DO THAT.
#81 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, April 05, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Angie:
I was so please to see that you have finally caught on, there are more side to every story then have been portrayed here. I must apologize I really did not think you would figure it out. It is not often that I am but I was pleasantly surprised.
If you're surprised, color me shocked. But no-one was denying anyone's claims AT FIRST, so it tends to suggest to the reader that someone is not interested in debunking lies, but instead, using smokescreen and engaging in a "who can throw the best insult" contest. That's where my Bull$#!t Detector starts going off.
Had Kelly come in and point by point shot down the argument (or made her own, such as the 9 years of FAITHFUL support that was later mentioned), it would have shut down the arguments. All I heard was Sharon is fat, and Kelly works for her 122 lb. figure. Do you see what I'm working with here? :)
Facts are stubborn things, and I judge based on the facts presented.
Angie:
I apologize for thinking the things I thought about you.
I apologize for the things I WROTE about you and your family; joining in the thrashing of a man's name, and his wife and their character, and even extended family. I hope you'll understand my explanation listed in this post about the word "deadbeat".
It's interesting how impurities in melted gold rise to the top - but you have to add a little heat. Touchy feeling thoughts on feelings aren't heat. Facts are heat.
I DO believe VERY STRONGLY in men backing up their kids, even if they can't stand the wife anymore. Call me old fashioned, but a man has an advantage of earning more money faster - wrong or right, it's a fact of life.
Being a "latebeat" is a world away from "deadbeat", IF the intent is to make it right as fast as possible. I wish no ill will on a man who is down on his luck, loses/changes a job. Been there, it sucks. No-one started arguing the deadbeat point until halfway in. But I hate DEADbeats.
Deadbeat has its own definition, and from what I read, it doesn't fit on Richard. A man who pays for years, and continues to check in, notify when moving, doesn't change or unlist phone numbers - all those things are NOT indications that Richard is hiding - which is what DEADBEATS do. They hide like roaches and run when light shines on them.
WORDS MEAN THINGS. Some guy in another thread claimed Cricket Mobile was racist in the headline. So I went in and asked him what racial slur was used. None - he received poor customer service from a "minority". I was happy to point out that he mis-represented an entire company based on his ill-used and incorrect word. "Deadbeat", like "Racist" is a huge inflammatory accusation, and when it IS used, should be 100% accurate.
I get the impression that the 20K was a "deal" that would have benefited both parties. Sharon STILL has the right to ask for the whole amount - and Richard owes that ANYWAY, regardless. IF that is true, he SHOULD have paid it regardless - lien deal or no deal - instead, he found that the deal wasn't going to pan out to his benefit (to ditch the lien), so they spent it elsewhere.
It was Kelly's money from a death in her family, so it wasn't even income counted from Richard - and Sharon was less than truthful about the lien anyway.
Angie:
Here is my question here..... or just another thought perhaps....... Why would anyone refuse an all expense paid trip anywhere?? Especially if you have had it as bad off as you claim, free trip to Las Vegas, kids spend time with their father, you and current husband have time alone, ......
A very interesting point, Angie, especially considering the "Parents Bill of Rights", Article #7 that was posted here earlier by Sharon:
ARTICLE XII:
You do not have the right to relinquish your parental rights just because you do not want to pay child support. If you do not have a relationship with your children, it is solely and 100% your fault. If you claim that you don't have that relationship because the custodial parent denied you visitation you are living in a fantasy world.
Fantasy world? Sharon, are we so rigid here that we can't let Richard spend a week with the kids? Or do you get to orchestrate every hour of the event? Seriously.
Besides this "Aricle stuff" being legally WRONG in California... it is a generalization that doesn't fit here.
Maybe Richard is less interested in helping out thankless people who return payment with insult, despite his legal responsibility to do so. But it doesn't appear that there's no relationship because of his lack of effort (ahem - I mean... FANTASY WORLD), but it's because mom won't play by her own rules.
Sharon, does Richard need you to choose his flight, his hotel, his meals, where he can take the kids all with your supervision to see his kids? "Good Faith" comes into play here. If he's not contesting custody, there's probably little chance he will "steal" a 17 year old. And if you're really not interested in "seeing him" anyway, then even better if you DON'T, right?
Richard CAN claim he didn't have that relationship because he is welcome to pay money, and whatever overpriced bills (luxuries like contacts that Sharon promised her kids), but not reap the benefits of seeing his own kids and spending time with them. That's crap, Sharon.
You're making a case that if he has enough money to come see the kids that he should pay $23K TO YOU first. He will probably owe that money for a long time, but let him spend time with the kids when they are KIDS. He is showing an interest that DOESN'T hinge on money. Perhaps you're holding the kids hostage "in the best interest of the kids". Is it? Or is it YOUR best interest?
Dads aren't perfect - a concept I relate to - are you going to say he is "just acting" that way? Do you know the percentage of guys who try to be a part of their kids' lives after a divorce? As a man, I'm embarassed to say: Not enough! "Deadbeat" also implies not only NO interest, but avoidance. Again, Richard, whatever opinion YOU have formed of him, doesn't fit the bill of deadbeat in MY opinion.
Sharon, I really felt bad for you because I thought you were scraping by while Richard was buying real estate investments. It seems to be turning out that you passed up an offer for $20k, AND a free expenses-paid vacation in Vegas. You didn't deny the offer was there, so again, I have to assume THAT is true. Kelly was negligent in defending her case at first, and if this is wrong, you aren't contesting the Vegas offering now.
We went from "no Christmas or birthday gifts" to "slutty hand-me-downs", only to find out that gift cards aren't welcome either. Only cash. WTF? Best Buy, or Borders Books or Mall Stores all have gift cards, and products kids like shopping for. Gifts are Gifts, not entitlements, and if they're for your kids, certainly NOT to a specific guideline such as "cash only".
Someone PLEASE disagree with me here if I'm wrong: Cash gifts, especially given by 'ex's usually implies they have are reluctantly fulfilling a redundant "common courtesy" offering with little or no thought. Never mind someone wants to put a little time into thinking about a good gift, only to be trumped by your critical opinion and then have that insulting opinion broadcast on the net through rose-colored glasses.
Seems Richard could purchase a used 2003 car for your kids, and you'd instantly call it a crapheap, with unsafe tires, rusted and smells like cigarette smoke from the previous owner - how unsafe and inappropriate for kids - what WAS he thinking!!!
It's getting real hard to feel sorry for you. Please debunk my arguements if they are off.
#82 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Barry - Alsip (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, April 05, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, April 05, 2006
To both parties involved: I feel bad that you both have to go through all this. However, in my humble opinion, you both are forgetting what the main topic should be, and that is the children involved. There have been so many postings on here containing name calling, and making some serious accusations. Don't you know your kids are reading this, in fact, one has become part of it. I don't know you, so I am not going to judge you, but these kids futures should be the most important things in both of your lives. This fighting (and I speak from experience) does nothing good for them. If a court verdict is the rememdy you seek, then go ahead and do it that way. Don't post mean, hateful things so that your children can read. I truly wish you both the best of luck, with everything. Most of all, I wish your children the best, and I will say a prayer for them.
#83 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Dianne - Ocala (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, April 05, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Court ordered child support $445 a month.
Ok, it is being paid.
What more do you want Sharon?
A pound of flesh.
Some how I do not see the problem.
You just cannot seem to let Rich go.
Please explain what your problem is NOW?
Seems to me you just can not let Rich go.
Other than child support WHAT DO YOU WANT?
#84 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, April 05, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Just a little more info
Tonight I happened to check my voice messages and I received such a pleasant one from Rich's daughter. Let's see it said that I was F* immature and she is even more mature than me? To F* lay off and to F* butt out and to F* mind my own business. Here again the children are exposed to ALL that goes on. If she wanted to leave a message than so be it. To disrespect and speak to an adult like that is really unacceptable. (I try to enforce that in my house disrepect it not tolerated) I do understand she is sticking up and protecting her mom due to the fact maybe she is upset. Upset about what? Sharon is the one who stated she started it and will finish it. Sharon, you didn't think that it might get ugly? You were the one who e-mailed us this website more than once and seemed so proud of it. Did you think after it went on we would sit by and say nothing?
It is okay though for Stefanie to speak of my father-in laws death the way she did? Whatever they say and do is okay?
Again, when it is convient I should take responsibility and help with the children. It's seems okay if I am offering money at certain times. Then it's referred to as a handout. I am a little confused here. Which is it? So the fact I took my family and friends on a vacation WITH MY MONEY shouldn't even be an issue right?
Let's also mention of the phone call from Gary, he stated he was sick of all this and Rich did respond with be sick of it. Gary then called him a F* A*** and hung up. The question is does Gary know of all the items on this website and all the phone calls at night (while he was working) Sounds like things aren't going as well as said. Maybe he is sick of the fact you, Sharon can't let it go. Maybe he is fed up with the fact you won't let Rich go. (due to hatred or other reasons)
#85 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Dianne - Ocala (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, April 06, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, April 06, 2006
The Court date is almost here.
Thank God.
There is a lot more here going on.
But a lot of it is being saved to say at Court.
As for Rich's family,we have had enough of lies and half truths.
All will be told in Court.
Thanks for everyone sticking in there.
It is a shame that a family (any family) has to go trhough this.
#86 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, April 06, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, April 06, 2006
First off nick is 100% right in everything he has said, I too owe rich's family an apology, I suspect you got that call from the daughter becuase of these postings, Sharon, when are you gonna grow up and tell that kid swearing like that to ANYONE makes he look unitelligent and unladylike and disrespectful!
A mother SHOULD NEVER CONDONE THAT KIND OF FOUL MOUTH BY THEIR CHILDREN, you stated grandma called you a fing b, and you won't let them near the kids for it, BUT YOU LET YOUR 17 YEAR OLD THINK IT IS PERFECTLY OKAY TO SPEAK TO ANYONE ESPECIALLY AN ADULT LIKE THAT? Again, okay for you to, but not daddy's family they are trash when they do it.
In the beginning I felt s bad for you, I was a single mom WITH A REAL DEADBEAT DAD EXACTLY HOW NICK DESCRIBES MOVED STATE TO STATE ETC. That man did everthing he could not topay support OR see his kids, and you are so wrong about Richard, he DID pay support, (tHEY DO) as i stated before they are married their income goes to the same household, now you ARE receiving support again, yet you still keep punishing him, for what?
DO YOU STILL LOVE HIM? AND YOU KNOW THE BEST WAY TO HURT HIM IS BY USING HIS KIDS? You are keeping this going by calling, there is no reason to now that you are being paid, and now you encourage your DAUGHTER TO SWEAR AT THEM in that case, your case against grandma has absolutley NO MERIT, Dianne, I feel sorry for you and angie and those kids, so far I gather she has taught them hate and swearing , both good things for a GOOD mother to teach her kids, my kids talked that way they would eat soap, and I would clean their foul mouths out right away, yet you encourage it.
I think you still have feelings for Rich, and if you can't have him, then none of his family can see the kids, you came off as a victim, and Nick and I stuck our necks out for you, becuase like Nick, I believe strongly a father has to own up to his responsibilities.
FURTHERMORE the gifts are NOT FOR YOU, THEY ARE FOR THE CHILDREN and you should be happy, that they get them. INSTEAD, you insist ON CASH, what does it matter to you? They are for the kids NOT YOU.
Like I stated in my earlier posting seems to me from grandma on down that Rich and his family have tried but you ambushed them everystep of the way.I think no matter what they do, it is always going to be crap or not good enough as Nick put it.
Nick is also right about the earlier postings Kelly, you didn't at first, EXPLAiN so all we had to go on was you calling her fat etc. thus, making her really look like the victim, so in that regard I hope you can see WHY we said the things we did, I do appologize to you and Rich , now that the truth has come out,
She is clearly making it difficult for you to have any kind of relationship with those kids and it sounds like jealousy, I have to ask why she is still calling if she is getting her support.I think grandma is right she can't let go and she calls whenher hubby isn't home? HMMMMMMM. I find that odd too unless, she doesn't tell him the whole story either and he only hears her side. I also agree with Nickon the point of him taking them, if he hasn't by now and with the morals being taught ot them swearing at adults maybe he should go after custody, I would not stand for my child speaking like that to ANYONE!Rich isn't about to "steal" them now, so thats just an excuse.
Sharon why DO YOU KEEP THIS HATRED GOING? YOU AREGETTING PAID AND YET YOU STILL FEEL THE NEED OT TURN YOUR KIDS AGAINST THEIR DAD, SHOULDN'T YOU BE TELLING THEM HE LOVES THEM ENOUGH TO PAY HIS SUPPORT?
iAM ALSO STILL MIFFED ABOUT THE VEGAS TRIP, I THINK YOU JUST WANT TO MAKE IT HARD ON THEM, AND YOU RESENT KELLLY FOR MARRYING RICH. YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE, YOU COULD HAVE HAD SOME FUN. AND VEGAS IS A NEAT PLACE TO TAKE YOUR KIDS WITH ALL THE ATTRACTIONS, SO YOU DEPRIVED THEM OF A WONDERFUL VACATION BASED ON YOUR HATRED.
VEGAS IS PRETY CLOSE TO CALI I MIGHT ADD YOU COULD HAVE MET THEM HALFWAY, BUT I BET YOU TOLD THOSE KIDS DADDY DOESN'T LOVE OYU ENOUGH TO COME ALL THE WAY,THUS, TAKING THE BLAMEOFF YOU AND PUTTING IT ON RICH AND YOU ARE A VICTIM AGAIN.
I am so shocked at how your child swears and you say sh can, you better hopeshe doesn't run with the wrong crowd and find drugs. Swearing is unacceptable andit is immature on your part not to CORRECT THEM FOR IT, Young ladies should never talk like that, and in your own posting boy you had a sailor mouth.
Like Nick said we went from no gifts, no contact, to trips to vegas, 20.000.00, and gifts not being good enough, give the man credit to his kids instead of bashing him, if you stilllhave feelings for him THEY ARE YOUR FEELINGS and you should always discourage yourkids ot hate, it is unhealthy to teach the hatred and no compassion.I truly hope you and your kids get counseling.Money isn't everything and you are being paid so why the phone calls?Why don't you call when your husband is home as well? Take some of Rich's support and get those children in treatment, so they don't grow up as unhappy and mean as you are coming off to be.There's still hope for them.
What they send for the kids b- days and holidays is NOT for you to delegate that they send them CASH ONLY. What kindof person says that?CASH ONLY. His wallet is good enough so he should be good enough to see his kids without the hatred YOU instilled in them for him.You give him absolutely NO credit whatsoever for whathe does or tries to do you bashon it all, gifts aren't goodenough we want cash, NO YOU WANT CASH.He is paying support and he has rights.I truly hope he and kelly find a way while they are minors to get a judgement MAKING them go see him.
#87 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Angie - Norfolk (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, April 07, 2006
POSTED: Friday, April 07, 2006
A silence.............
Can it meant that you have been shamed into silence?
Has the truth or parts of it spoiled the plan to "drag Rich through the mud"?
Nick and Ruth,
Thanks for all the support..... I wish this was not so one sided in the beginning, but we do have to be careful what is said... Too many things are taken out of context and seen only from one side by Sharon.....
I am anxious for the court date, and can't help but wonder if Sharon does not get her way and there is actually a compromise what will happen then on this board?
#88 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, April 08, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, April 08, 2006
Okay you guys as I said before I was a nurse,I worked at a courthouse, okay keep that in mind ,free legal advice here okay :)
Rich HAS to have been served with papers, get the information Case # judge's name if you can, all that you can get address of court, time, date etc. Then, overnite copies of all these postings to the Judge, when she/he sees that she went as far as to post this leaving out some pretty revelant facts, they will, I can tell you look at her in a diferent light, not the VICTIM she portrays herself to be at first, there are major INCONSISTENCIES in her postings and some important ones like, the 20.000.00 she rejected, refusing to take an allexppense paid trip so her kids can see their dad etc,GET MY MEANING:)LETTING HER KIDS SWEAR her swearing about all of you,it would give RICH and Kelly some creditbility , but make sure good or bad to Rich and Kelly you prin them in their entirety, or else Rich looks bad, she comes across here as a mother who thinks her children should be able to swear at adults, she comes across as making it hard for you to communicate with the kids, she doesn't deny the settlement , she doesn't deny the trip, one thinkg courts do not like is one parent pitting their kids against eachother, she even admits harassing phone calls.
I'll bet you the judges reaction will be much like Nick's and mine and the others, who brought up the swearing and bashing. I wish you luck, nobody should teach their kids it is okay to swear at an adult or anyone, and clearly she shows attempts to block Rich and kelly from seeing the kids, the effects are in her daughters posting as well. She admits calling and harassing them, just print these and send them to the courts as RICH's VOICE!
This would be the very smartest thing you could do toget the judge to understand why rich is isolated from them.I hope you do this for Rich an kelly sounds to me they deserve a break with those kids and sharon is hanging on for reasons I cannot explain. her hatred of kelly leads me to believe it is jealousy.GFood Luck and start printing , even if Rich doesn't have the info he knows what county she filed in,and the date it is posted her in fact I think she posted all of it. and Kelly and Rich can get the rest of the info easily, I really think these postings speak volumes of how she is raising those kid and a judge might feel the same way, at least she can't make Rich the COMPLETE bad guy as she tried to do here.
#89 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Louise - Gorham (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, April 14, 2006
POSTED: Friday, April 14, 2006
How Quick one can judge when it comes to children and deadbeat parents and it is sad that pity is being requested on this platform. As i read more and more of this drama it drove me crazy.
To Richard and his family, I know exactly where your coming from!!No one is perfect, and its ok to be a late beat, sure as heck does not sound like a deadbeat to me.
I do not care for women who use the system and like it even less when the children have their heads filled with rage and hate about the non custodial parent. Let the kids have their own opinion about their father. My mom tried to do that to me and guess what, I still talk to my dad even if its only once inawhile. Remember, when the kids decide they want to sit down and talk to their father, you will need to answer to the lies and deciet you filled their heads with!!!
I think there need to be major reform for non custodial parents, I think there should be some sort of non profit org that can help non custodial parents with child support, who are making an honest effort to make things right with their kids. Good luck to you Richard and your family!!!!!
#90 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Elizabeth - Saint Charles (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, April 14, 2006
POSTED: Friday, April 14, 2006
I would say I'd like an update from the original poster but frankly I'd like a truthful update with ALL the facts..........
Richard - Please know that despite what your ex has taught your children it is never too late when it comes to your kids. Sooner or later they will start to figure things out and come to you for answers. When that time comes, please be honest with them about any mistakes you have made and do everything in your power to not bash their mother. They will respect your honesty and appreciate your efforts to not shoot down their mom. Then the healing will begin. I am sure you probably believe that any hope of having your children in your life is gone but it is not. As long as they are still on this planet there is hope. Best of luck to you.
#91 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kimberly - Baltimore (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, April 14, 2006
POSTED: Friday, April 14, 2006
I have been following this for awhile. I just wanted to add my two cents. The tides seem to have turned on Sharon but the fact of the matter is this.
She is and was entitled to child support. As the legal guardian of these children then she is the person that can determine who can and cannot visit her children. Grandparents do not have to pay child support but she does not have to let them see them either. Especially if she thinks that they will not follow her wishes about the children's activities.
All of us want what is best for our kids. I think. I don't have children so I don't really know but I have been on the side of the child and know more details about this than I should due to my parents jobs and discussions. It is not unfair or unreasonable for Sharon to ask the father to contribute extra to pay for extraordinary circumstances. Life doesn't come in a neat little package of the estimated cost of raising a child is this. This number shall not be exceeded. What about things like Prom and first car, dance lessons, school trips, shouldn't both parents pay equally for that? Don't we want children to have those memories?
For the Grandmother, I assure you, making disparaging remarks about your grandchildren's mother will do nothing to ingratiate them to you in the future. Consider this. I don't speak to my paternal grandmother because she was rude to my mother and treated her with disrespect in my presence when I was 5 YEARS OLD. I am now 28 and will not invite her to my wedding or attend her funeral. Be careful of the way you treat the sole caretaker of your grandchildren. I know you don't have responsibility to pay for the kids but think of it this way (speaking from experience here, so pay close attention), you send a gift to the kids, thats great but what if the mother is struggling to put food on the table or needs to buy school supplies or they need new clothes. The money would probably be more helpful than a new toy and the kids would probably respect that you are trying to be helpful.
Everyone keeps making comments that she refused the 20K. She is within her rights to refuse 20K. She is within her rights to refuse anything that is less than owed. Remember that money is what is going to be used to pay back AFDC. I don't know about you but I am tired of my tax dollars being used to support children because the father does not.
It is a ridiculous comment to say that contacts are a luxury. Take this from a person who used to wear coke bottles. No child should have to be forced to wear them any longer than necessary. Braces are cosmetic (Another ridiculous statement), sure until you are the one being called bucky. Quite honestly, I don't know how anyone can ever deal with Wal-Mart optical. Optical is still a part of the body. If Sharon has chosen a doctor that she wants to continue to use for her children's eyesight then by all means go for it. Remember people, eyes have a medical history too. It is better to stay with one doctor who can monitor the changes from year to year in your vision than to switch because it is cheaper.
Kelly, Right now you are fighting vehemently about this case. My advice to you is to remain neutral. You are the stepparent. Don't get caught up in something that affects you on the periphial. Yes it sucks that there is a lien on your house. I say get a divorce and leave this headache. You probably didn't know you were signing on for this. You inherited this problem but it is not fair to attack Sharon because she is trying to do the best for her kids. Think of it this way, would you want anything less than what is owed to your child? About Las Vegas, Would you want to go on vacation with someone who has repeatedly said you have mental problems, are fat and a bad parent to boot? You are within your rights to do whatever you wish with your money. If I were your friend, I would go on vacation with you. Her loss, my gain. I give you all the credit in the world for even offering your inheritance money but remember this, we all have choices. You chose to date a man who had kids from a previous relationship. That does not go away once he meets you. Be the voice of reason in this whole conflict. My stepmother was and I thank her everyday for being the neutral person that she was.
Sharon, this is for you. I understand how this process works probably better than most. I can empathize with you on a lot of things except one. At no point should you have ever entered into debate or commetary with the new wife. Let this man get on with his life with her. She does not owe you anything. She is quite honestly an innocent bystander. Child support does not mean, he suffers for every injustice he did to me, including leaving and being happy with someone else vengenance money. It means money to help support your children. He still has to live and eat. Yes she has made some disparaging comments to you. But to attack her lifestyle is not your place.
Refusing visitation to the children's father is also not a fair or just way to deal with this situation. Especially your daughter. My parents did not always get along but the relationship that I have with my father is the most valuable thing in the world to me. You may not see the value in this but there is something to be said about Daddy's Little Girl. Every relationship that your daughter has in life will be affected by the fractured relationship that she has with her father. I believe you are doing the right thing by fighting for what is owed to your children but at some point one has to also be the adult and do what is best for the children and not for vengenance. I would rather have a monetary deadbeat Daddy than a emotional deadbeat father anyday.
#92 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, April 15, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, April 15, 2006
I honestly agree with most of what oyu said , but there are a few things I would like to point out,
1. BY HER OWN admission, he faithfully paid supprt for 9 years until finacial trouble hit.
2. sharon calls and rants and raves , also, by her own admission all hours of the day and night,she should refrain from calling unless it is to speak with Rich about the children only.
3. She slammed on kelly just as hard.
4. she encourages her children to swear at adults.
5. NO ONE said she wasn't entitled to or didn't deserve the support.
6. Grandma doesn't get along with Sharon, so should the children really be used as Sharons pawns?My son would be deprived of a wonderful loving situation with his grandparents , she may very well be a good grandmother and I did not get the impression she would "bash" the mother if it meant not having contact with her grandkids, the sister in law as well.
7. I AM DADDY'S little girl and make no mistake there is nothing like daddys love, I lost my father recently and thought I was going to die from losing him , the pain was unbearable, Sharon does not allow Rich to see their kids, she has by her own postings, sabotaged every attempt he made.
8. GIFTS ARE GIFTS, they are given out of love, and becuase you mean something to that person, Sharon doesn't say she can't feed them and she does get support, he was just having finacial trouble at one time and she used it against him.My grandmother (bless her soul) ALWAYS said even if you get a gift you don'tlike , that person didn't have to give it to you, so be grateful they thought so much of you they took the time to shop all the while thinking of you.
9. The trip to vegas, Kelly stated that Sharon and her husband were free to gamble to go out and spend some "alone time" with eachother at HER expense, that meant that Sharon didn't HAVE to hang out with them, they just wanted to see the kids.
10, The settlement (if she was so money tight) would have paid alot of bills, and it was generous of Kelly to offer it, but she is married to a man who has prior kids and she recognized that when she offered the trip,( to see the kids) and the money, they are maried their income is as one. Unfortanutely for Kelly she didn't bank on Sharons bitterness.
Also I would like to state, that Sharon has condoned her MINOR childrens swearing at the adults, (that cross her mother)if you read her own posting then you are aware that she help the grndmother accountable for calling her a f-ing b, yet she swore that and many other names in that posting, so she too is guilty as charged.The Grandmother stated and Sharon did not deny that she was talking to Sharon, as well as the sister inlaw, until the refused to BASH on Rich.I believe that if a man pays support, he is ENTITLED TO SEE HIS KIDS she cannot use them over HER anger.That is exactly what her own postings reveal, it took postings from the family , first she states no support at all, no b-day , xmas gifts or cards etc,THEN, the family posts and it comes out yes, he paid support for 9 years, yes I am calling them all the time, and yes they have sent gifts BUT SHE wants money. the gifts are for the children NOT HER, and she has no right to delegate money only.
It became clear by posting HER own poting then emailing it out for all to see that she left out very pertintinent information, until Richs family spoke up. It becomes clear HER HATRED for Rich remarrying and jealousy is thr driving force behind this and not child support.That is why people turned on her, she went from making this guy sound like they never tried to see the kids, pay support, or send gifts, to being called out and then not being able to deny that he DID in fact faithfully pay support, and send gifts. I think Sharon is the one who cannot let go, and to take a child and let it swear at adults and drag them into a NASTY support issue between adults is wrong.
At first, i really felt for sharon but the more facts that came out and her whatever he does is not good enough attitude, and her enjoyment in telling her children rotten things about their father,is only a way to get back at him for moving on without her, those kids are all she has as weapons and it sounds by her postings she is using them full force, I cannot imagine my child swearing at anyone much less an adult and a mother not correcting them, that they shouldn't swear and no matter what they think of that person, they are adults and the child should be respectful, Sharon has used her kids to hurt their father and in my opinion she should cease and desist from doing that. She has conflicted her own postings and while i agree kelly should never call her names or bring her weight into it, thats irrelevant,but Sharon has gotten her licks in too, it would be better for the children to hear positive things about their fathers family, and left out of ADULT BUSINESS and it is immature of Sharon to use them as a weapon to hurt thier own father, the hatred they have for him clearly , again, by her own postings comes FROM HER HATRED OF HIM, and personally, if my ex- paid support for 9 years and then had trouble, I would have been more understanding,she can't wait to pounce.I never got anything from my 2 childrens dad, and I never ever spoke evil about him to his children, I let them form their own opinion, I made sure they had what they needed, not depended him. As the mother with custody that was MY JOB.She has no right to judge the gifts they choose to send,and she went from not sending any at all , to they aren't good enough, I think that if Rich offered her the moon, she would find SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT.He is allowed to move on with his life and fall in love and Sharon should pay more attention to HER OWN marriage than his.She is a little to preoccupied with their marriage and life than she is her own.
#93 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, April 17, 2006
POSTED: Monday, April 17, 2006
I have not responded in a while, 4/5/06 was my last posting. I had bargained for the response and the hatred that has come from Richard's family and acctually it was expected.
Thnaks for the im's from Dianne and Angie and thank you, yet again Kelly, for my weekly phone calls about my weight, and the changing of your e-mail so that you could get through with all the weight loss centers. That was the day that Stefanie left you the cursing message and my husband phoned and told Richard he was and F****** A******. Now, how inmature can you be for attacking my weight, attacking my daughter, your step-daughter (ya that really makes her want to have any contact with you, Richard, Michael, Vanessa, Angie, Dianne or anyone else that decides to crawl out of the woodwork on that side of the family).
An update on the court situation. Richard has asked for a telephonic hearing and it is set for May 16, 2006. That was the soonest date that was available. Maybe this time he will actually have his paperwork done so the judge can look at it and set everything to guidelines as it should be set. I hadn't asked for the case to be reopened or reviewed since 1998 and every year from now on the case will be reviewed every January until Steven is of legal age. By law this can be done.
Richard has never come to CA to see his kids, he has never taken me to court to even get the visitation changed. He has always had that option but has never done so. Now that I have reopened the case he is upset, or rather his wife is upset and so is the rest of the family. They only have themselves to blame but if they must find a person to blame for their shortcomings in never keeping in contact or acknowledging the children then blame me. No a Family Vacation with you guys is not an option that the children want, or for that fact an option that myself or my husband would want. I still have no clue as to why you would ever think that would happen? If Richard wants contact with the children he has to follow the court orders, that is the bottom line.
For everyone who is keeping track, I am on my lunch hour responding.
Have a great day, and I will post agian after the court hearing.
#94 Employee
AUTHOR: Angie - Norfolk (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, April 17, 2006
POSTED: Monday, April 17, 2006
Hello again Sharon.
Let me just say one thing for the record....
NO ONE is upset because you went to court, no one has even implied that.....
WE are all upset at your attempt to paint yourself as a hero and Rich as this monster. Your simple mindedness about posting you thoughts of Richard and this family on this website is what we do not understand.
You went to court and before anything can be decided or is finalized you took it upon yourself to "drag Rich's name though the mudd"..those are your words. I can cut and paste from E amil but figure I do not have to as you know as well as I do that you said it.
The responses here are not what you were expecting, you wanted only sympathy and when you stop recieving it you stopped posting....
It took us a while as we tried to keep the info accessed here to the world to a minimal, but we started to respond with facts that you omitted. and when people started to get a better picture of the whole truth, you just got angry.
NO I do not think the weight comments are neccissary but you have pushed people for to long. I do not care what Kelly has said to you, the fact is she got angry and started to act the same way you have acted for years. They have been pushed too far and this "blog" was the last straw. this was a way to give you a littel of what has been dished to them for years.
This is the problem as we all see it..
You filed court papers and couldn't wait for the results before tring to stir up this campaign to smear Rich and Kelly.
You should have waited until the results were in from this whole court thing to start your little one sided blog... And if you did not want our opinions or our side of the story out there, why send us all the links to find this blog... You could have easily just had your little one sided fight with yourself by not forwarding us the links.
Not that you care but this has taken too much of a toll on my Mothers's health right now to continue with all this..... You have fun with your continued fight......... To all others, Nick, Ruth thanks for all the kind words and support for the whole truth.. I am sure Sharon will continue this fight long after the results are in from court, but as for my self or my Mother we are done here, I will however continue to periodically check this site for any new postings from you but for the sake of Mom's health, the 2 of us are done.
#95 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, April 17, 2006
POSTED: Monday, April 17, 2006
Please hon, keep your mom off this site as I stated before I was a nurse and stress can cause so many bad things, I agree Sharon is one sided leaving out pertinent information, especially regarding HER own behaviour.I know none of you deny dhe owed support, but I do think she is passing her hatred down to the kids, and i do think as well, whatever you and your family do is never going to be good enough, leaving out the faithfully paying support, and no gifts and no cards was pertinent information.There were gifts but they weren't what SHARON wanted, by sending links of this blog to your family clearly shows she is OUT TO PUNISH not seek justice.
Dianne, angie please tell your mom she is not a victim i know there are other mothers reading this and thinking 9 years of faithful support and for years my kids dad never gave a dime, what is she complaining about. She purposely left that info out as it makes Ric look like he cares he IS paying support.
I stand by my previous postings that gifts are gifts and she has no right to delegate who gives what to whom, becuase afterall, the gifts aren't for her, and it is the thought that counts and they did not HAVE to send anything at all, I personally, think it is rude of her to request money , when she IS by her own posting receiving support as I write this.
She comes off here as to hurt Rich for being happy But I do think for all involved kelly should bite the bullet on the wieght remarks.It just adds fuel to her fire, as for her child swearing and her condoning it or dragging them into this,( which gives her great satisfaction Iam sure that she has her kids hating all of you ) that makes her a victim to them as well as a hero, mommy is fighting for us, you get the idea.) well swearing out of a mInor is wrong, and I have to wonder what her MORALS are to let her children speak that way and condone it. I pray that someday for your family's sake those kids realize maybe when they have kids that their dad did love them enough to make sure thier mom got support for them.Until then keep sending the gifts YOU want them to have , try to be there so the kids when they grow up don't think you gave up on them , she will surley jump on that one. Dianne I wish you the best, and you need to let this go if you are stressed okay? let Rich handle Sharon as she is not worth your being ill for. I wsh you guys the best, and most of all for those kids who have been brainwashed by their mother, keep trying for them.Dianne get some rest and don't let this get to you time will take care of it, the kids will turn 18 and at that point Sharon willbe removed from the situation, as they will be adults.I will pray for you and your family good luck and take care of yourself , you have your own children Dianne, and no matter how old they are, they are concerned and need YOU, so please for them calm down it'll work itself out I am sure.
#96 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, April 18, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, April 18, 2006
I do want to thank everyone who has contributed to the blog. I also have my own website for custodial parents who need help and information. It is a non-profit group and I enjoy helping the people out there who are looking for help.
There are those of you that think that I am harsh and don't teach my children respect, or manners. This is just not true, because you don't know what goes on in someone elses household, and you don't know me personally.
I have started this site becuase it is important to me. Please feel free to respond to it, there is a link to the e-mail address. Also take the time to read my bio. It describes in detail what has gone on for the past 14 1/2 years since my divorce. I have all of my court papers scanned, so everything in my bio is accurate.
For those of you who are able to get along with your ex and actually have a good relationship I applaude you. I wish that was the case for me but reality is it is not.
The reason why I have not replied or responded in a while is that yes I do have a life. I have a full-time job, two kids that are involved in activities, homework projects, and I do help other custodial parents and it is a great feeling to be able to help someone else. Regardless of what anyone here thinks of me you don't know the real me, or even know me,so take the time to visit the site, send your feedback.
CLICK here to see why Rip-off Report, as a matter of policy, deleted either a phone number, link or e-mail address from this Report.
#97 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, May 16, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Now that there has been no trafic for a while let's update on what has been going on:
Some poor soul in Florida named Sharon Johnson, also happens to be my name, was used in a plastic surgery scam. Her home number was listed, then my cell phone number and my work phone number. Now that is just childish. This poor lady in Florida had to have her phone number changed and after I explained the situation to her and apologized for the childish behavior of some people she understood why her name was picked out of the phone book.
The plastic surgery doctor was in Santa Cruz, CA. Now for those of you who don't live in CA that is about a 45 min. drive from where I live.
I also have mailings in the regular mail now about weight loss, another childish tactic. Start your own blog on people who need to weight loss and on plastic surgery.
The facts still remain the same, the back child support is up to 64,000.00 (and some on change). Richard owes for back medical on the kids and also current medical.
My weight has no barring on how the kids are taken care of or raised. They are both graduating, both very happy, and are very good kids.
I have to leave for work now, so Richard you can't call my work, yet again and say that I am using company time or tell everyone in HR how you don't get to see the kids, yes I do know what you say to them. Concentrate on your own job, stop trying to get me in trouble at my own job. You are grasping at straws, or should I say Kelly is grasping at straws because I already know that Richard will not answer this.
Until the court date!!!!
#98 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, May 16, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Not to muddle in your guys' business, but this is a public forum, and I have an opinion, and an educated concern.
First I'd like to say that I read up until the point where the mother said she was on Neurontin -that is what I'd like to address actually.
I am not on anyone's side - so put down your arms and open your minds for one second.
Neurontin - (and I'm not sure I'm spelling that correctly sorry) is something I was on myself. Before I had my daughter (who is now 1) I had tumors in my leg which caused nerve pain (ie. shooting pains up and down my body) Pain in itself makes people react differently (ie. mood swings - just an fyi.) But the meds given for that pain actually causes many many side effects, that turn people into someone they are not.
Let me tell you when I was on that very same med, I was hallucinating, feelings of suicide, homicide, spiders or "shadows" on the wall, having mood swings. etc etc etc. Not intentionally or knowing I was reacting inappropriately.. I was. They are very adictive, and I can see why she has to have them monitored. (I unintentionaly overdosed on them numerous times) (They don't really ease the pain, they just get you out of your head, so the pain doesn't feel so bad.. the Doctors don't tell you that part.)
They are not a good drug to be on, and I am telling you from one mother to another mother - No matter what the magnitude of the pain, the meds are NOT helping, and I would redirect my meds. Maybe another drug would not help the pain as much, (or so it may seem) but it would save your mind from spinning out of control. I speak from experience.
Having said that - Maybe, just maybe, some of the Richard family can ease up, and try to be understanding, and work the problem rather than becoming part of it. Throwing gas on a fire only ignites it further.
Calling people names doesn't help the situation, nor does it bring resolve. (to either side of the "war") It is apparent that this woman still has feelings for Richard. However, as I said I did not complete the report yet.. It is long, and very insulting to more than just the mom or dad on more occassions than one.
So, the best of luck to all of you.. I'll check in from time to time, and hopefully there can be a resolve.
To the mom - PLEASE consider getting off of that med. - No pain is worse than what it does to your mind. I promise you. I've been there. (I don't know how those types of pain meds are even legal, but they are.)
To all of you -Remember the two children, actually three if the wife has one also, that are involved, and for their sake.. just maybe one of you say I forgive you, let's start again, with peace.
Mom - I promise you, you will not see things the way you see them today, once you are off of those meds.
Just a concerned citizen
#99 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, May 17, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Thank you for your concern. This is a nerve blocker medication that controls the spasms from permanent nerve damage that I have from Tarsal Tunnel and Enfracaneal Nerve entrapment. This is not something that happened overnight to me. I have been dealing with the condition for almost two years before I had the surgery done April 1st of last year. The nerve pain that I deal with is in my foot (ankle) and in my lower back. I work very closely with both of my doctors, my regular doctor and my foot doctor. I don't have any side effects from being on the nerve blocker medication, if I did have any side effects, which I have gone over with my family, co-workers, my boss, and my friends, they would have let me know.
Currently, the nerve pain is under control and I am able to work and take care of my kids just fine. I started this to make aware of the fact that my ex husand (whom I don't have feelings for) has fallen way behind in his child support and his responsibilities. I am happily married and have a very full life. I am fighting for what rightfully my children should be receiving from their biological father, no they both have choosen not to have a relationship with him or his side of the family. This is not something that I have done, him and his wife have managed to take care of any future communications with the children (ages 17 and 14).
His wife attacks my weight, and my housing, because there is nothing else for her to attack. She is upset because the country put a lien on their house because he is so far in debt for child support. Retaliation, she wants my family kicked out of our housing, but the children can come and live with them. (Great person there) Richard, their biological father, stated while on speaked phone that he was happy that my mother, whom was living with us, died in our home, and he laughed for days over this. At the time my daughter was also on the phone with him. That sealed ever having a relaationship between him and his two children.
I am bashed for the way that I bring up my children, which is to me honest with them. When it comes to that side of the family, which is now wanting to have contact with my oldest because she is almost 18 years old, the kids are allowed to talk and express their feelings anyway they want. A lot of people find it offensive and I have been told what a terrible person I am for letting my daughter talk to her biological father that way. My children have read all of the court papers, going back to 1993. Richard has never come out to see them, we live in CA he lives in CT. No I will not allow my kids to fly across the country to people whom I don't know personally, and no I will not take a FAMILY vacation with any of them. That is just the simple truth.
We go back to court soon, and all this will be settled.
#100 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, May 17, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, May 17, 2006
The only feelings that I have left for this "man", my children's biological father are as follows:
1. It is disturbing and quite upsetting when a parent, who claims to love his children as he does, to go for so long without paying child support or having contact with his kids. This was because he didn't want to go to court and fight for any kind of custody. I have sole legal custody. He has visitation rights which he has never exercised. This reverts back in time. Our divorce was finalized in 1993, he didn't start paying child support until 1998. We seperated in 1991 before my son was born. Did he forget that he had children?? Did that fact just slip his mind?? Then he goes and makes another family, how irresponsible is that when you can't take care of the first one that is here in CA. The only feelings that I have for a person like that is called DISGUST, not love or I want you back-which his wife has mentioned numerous times that I want him back. Get a clue I DIVORCED HIM YOU ARE MORE THEN WELCOME TO HAVE HIM.
2. I am supposed to be satisfied with the outcome because he paid faithfully, which was done by a court order, not because he felt that he had a responsibility to the children, from 1998-2003. Then he was laid off for @ 9 months went back to work and didn't even stay there for a year. He quite for "personal" reasons. I have never had the luxury of quitting a job, I have responsbilities to take care of like the two children that I brought into this world. This was not done by osmosis, he was there at the time of conception. He finally got a job in March 2006, and now he is paying his child support but still hasn't paid for any of the children's medical (current or past).
3. I have been bashed and am now receiving things in the mail for weight loss centers, thank you Kelly for being so concerened about my weight. Yet again more in the mail today. This is the type of family that I want to take a "family" vacation with so that we can all get to know one another. WRONG!!!
4. I am allowed to be upset. I have loved my children from the day that they were brought into this world. I have worked two and three jobs and earned my degree, regardless of the fact that I was on AFDC-which yes he did know that I was on it because I actually have the whole case file.
This is not the raving of a mentally ill person or a side effect from medication that is perscribed for me. This is from a mother who will fight for what rightfully belongs to her children. If you wish to look at it as raving go ahead, my feelings don't get hurt that easily.
#101 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, May 18, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, May 18, 2006
Hi there. I did not mean to say things to offend you, and if I did I am sorry for saying them. I have nothing to do with your case, I am just someone who has read "most" of your report and was concerned. I didn't think you were mentally ill, and never said so. I only gave you advice from what I went through on the same medication.
We must be speaking of different meds because the one I was on was not a nerve blocker.. I've had that before also (mine didn't develope overnight either) a nerve blocker (well the one I had) actually goes into the body with a wire and pinches off the nerve. It is connected to a little machine that you carry on your side. (at least that was the one I had)(It wasn't neurontin) The Neurontin (at least what I was on before surgery) is actually a seizure med. There are not a lot of meds specifically for nerve pain (at least none that were offered to me)
Listen, I'm not a doctor, I am just telling you my experience with what I thought was the same medication you had said, but apparently I was mistaken.
I understand your feelings on Richard not paying child support for a few years, and medical.
It seems you have a lot of animocity built up for him and his new family. Why not try and let go of that?
People say things all the time that are stupid, it should not dictate a future to be had with the children and their father.
What was he supposed to do, be single and lonely forever? You by your own words remarried as well, that is pretty normal as people don't want to live alone all their lives.
You have received more than most reports I've seen in child support. Go after him for the rest of it, but try to be understanding that when all of this is said and done, it's hard to take away the pain that both sides are causing to the situation that should be handled, in my opinion with more concern for the children.
No he didn't step up to the plate like he should have, I agree with you. No he wasn't there on visitation days when he SHOULD have been, that is something the children noticed I'm sure. Is it possible to forgive?
He laughed for days on your speaker phone? I'm not sure I understand how you would know he laughed for days when you live in different states? Unless he stayed on the speaker phone for days? But again, those types of petty nonsense is what is killing the relationship to be had with the father and the children.
More than likely what's going to happen is the damage is already done, and your children will figure it all out when they are in their mid twenties, to early thirties.
Children are not pawns to use in child support games, and it seems your children are already "told" how to feel on the matter throughout the years by their mother, and their father's actions. You all are really hurting the children in this situation, and none of this is doing any good for anyone in my opinion.
Try the family vacation - with an open mind - everyone.. Maybe it could be a lifelong GOOD relationship start for all those involved.
Think about it - wouldn't it be nicer to have christmas together? Wouldn't it be nicer for you and the new wife to be able to be friends and talk about silly things together at the christmas parties, and over thanksgiving meals? Wouldn't laughter far outweigh the drama? How would it make your heart feel to see your daughter give her father a hug, and laugh over silly things together, all the while expanding your relationships with all of them. Only in a perfect world I guess.
#102 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, May 18, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, May 18, 2006
Hi again, I had company show when I was submitting the last response. After re-reading it I wanted to make sure I was clear about what I was saying, as I didn't have time to proof read it before I sent it to you.
Again sorry if any comments were offensive, I certainly do not mean them that way. I just wanted to let you know that I decided to look up Neurontin after reading this, and remembering the horrible side effects that I was having from it. I noticed there's a lawsuit going on with that very drug about side effects.. isn't that interesting..?? Tegretol is another one I was put on as Neurontin is extremely expensive (at least here in Oregon it was 300.00 a month for me) I'd have to say Tegretol was less expensive, but also had severe side effects. They both in my opinion should be taken off the market. I also just read they are giving these pills to children! Now that's just crazy!
I just became alarmed when you said neurontin because I remember all the hell my family went through during that time in my life when I was taking that very same drug. More than likely it's working out fine for you, but if someone has to monitor it for you, then it just appears to me that you may be going down the same road I was, once upon a time, before I actually got to live life pain free. (thank you Dr. Hayden for saving my life!)
In any case this report is not about your meds but about your child support case which I am all for you getting what your children are owed for their benefit in life. I just wish that someone would take the initative to stop all the fighting and try to learn to get along, for the benefit of your children as well.
#103 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, May 18, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, May 18, 2006
Laura-You in no way stepped on my toes. I am more then happy to respond to you.
I did read your response this afternoon but I have to wait until I come home to answer. It is a game that Richard and Kelly like to play. The name of this game is if I answer or post anything to this report during my working hours even if I am on my scheduled lunch or break, he picks up the phone, because he is on the East coast, calls my superviors boss and complains that I am using company time to do personal things and since I work for the state I really don't need my job, how he is not allowed to talk with the kids, what a terrible person I am, how dare I harrass him like this, you name it. That just shows the mentality that I have to put up with.
The nerve blocker that I take is in a pill form. I know the one that you are talking about though. I have an Uncle who has that one and it is the only way that he can actually get around without being in pain, actually I think it just manages his pain. Mine is nothing like that. Because of scare tissue build up on the inside of my ankle, it is still pressing on the nerves, which I knew would happen even before I agreed to have the surgery. I have had friends of mine who have been on the pill form and have had the reactions that you are talkling about, but I have none of those reactions at all. I still have some swelling, but it is being managed by an anti-inflamitory. I am actually able to walk more and more each day now and the weight is coming off. I also quite smoking back in March for my son's 14th birthday, so health wise I am doing everything that my doctor's have said for me to do. The only restriction I actually have is that I can't tolerate anything cold on my foot because of the nerve damage. So I do use a heating pad a lot.
The anger and animocity towrad my ex has built up over many years, especially the years when I didn't get any help from him and worked two and three jobs. I do have my bio up on the site that I run for custodial parents FakefordStefvenGetChildSupport. The bio is very matter of fact, taken from court papers. My website is where I channel my "energy" now. I enjoy helping other custodial parents. My kids even helped me with the site and the suggestions as what I should put on it.
Being lonely and single is not what I want for anyone in there life. On the other hand I was brought up to take care of your responsibilities especially when their are children involved. Both parents are responsible, not just one. If you bring more children into this world then you need to work harder to cover your responsibilities.
When I married my current husband we both made the decision not to have anymore children. Just because Richard and Kelly made the choice to have children together still doesn't relinquish his first responsibility which should of been to his first two children, but it wasn't and now I am holding him accountable and he, and the rest of his family don't like it.
Forgiveness is not needed from me. I can't forgive such an irresponsible person, that is just the way that I am, especially after he made my daughter cry and the pain that was on her face. That is a look I never want to see on her face again. The children have heard how he talks to me, how his wife wants us kicked out of our houseing, how fat I am, how I need plastic surgery (that was a reach) and how he was happy about their grandparents divorce and their grandmother's subsequent death. This was said by him to hurt me, but my daughter also heard him, so forgiveness, it may not come at all from them or it may, only time will be able to tell. The laughing for days was an expression.
The children know who love and care about them. His family has only recently decided to get involved, but they have never been involved before. It's like his sister wanting contact, his brother, and the brother's girlfriend (who wouldn't know me if she walked into me or my kids) all thinking that they have a right to be a part of the kids life now. My daughter has told his sister NO, and as for the rest of them, including his mother, they don't want anything to do with them either. Now take into account that my ex-husband has had my address for the past 10 years that I have lived in the same place with the same phone number. His family will always claim that it is my fault, when no one has made the effort until now, because Stefanie is almost 18 now. Stefanie and Steven weren't even worth a birthday card or an acknowledgement that they existed.
If it was a perfect word, we would all get along, we would all take care of our responsibilities and then maybe there would be that family vacation that Richard and Kelly so wanted, and we could have a Christmas together like one big family. Then again maybe world peace will also come around.
This is not television, nor Fantasy Island, this is life and I am not June Cleaver (LOL).
The story will continue.............
#104 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, May 19, 2006
POSTED: Friday, May 19, 2006
Laura-if you are interested, or anyone for that fact go to online search, you will find it on there.
#105 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, May 19, 2006
POSTED: Friday, May 19, 2006
Sharon after reading your entire story (very lengthly) on the website you provided I have a few things to say which your probably not going to like much.
First WOW huh, what a life. My opinion is people's actions dictate the outcome.
It appears to me even in your side of the story (I haven't heard Richard's) that Richard's wife tried her best to have that relationship between all of you. She did what a good wife should have done, and that is try to build a good repore with the ex spouse (you) so the father (richard) could know the children, and the children know their father. She seems to have tried to work with you, on more than one occassion. They even provided an all expenses paid vacation for you, and your children to meet them, and have a good time together. My only question is why were you so stubborn as to say NO they have to go to you? What were you going to be out?
Why didn't you take the $20,000.00 that was offered to you? He would have owed approx $3-$6000.00 after you accepted that. You would have lost control of the lien on their home?
However, if Richard would have given that 20k to child support then it would have solved the problem of their lien. YOU don't have to accept it for it to be accepted by SED. It seems you don't want to lose control over the situation, when in all reality, it's not in your control to begin with. If Richard's family was smart they would just pay the money to SED and bypass you altogether.
The only funds you are allowed to sign off or "forgive" in child support cases are funds owed to YOU, not the state. You cannot forgive what is owed to the state, (that is why it was denied by them, they don't "forgive" debt.) Either way your children wouldn't receive one red cent that way. Why would you even consider signing away anything that was actually going to be seen by your children from their father?
I'm sorry but it appears to me you are the one being unreasonable in this situation. Forcing a man to "come to you" instead of working on a good relationship for the children to be had with their father? Signing away funds that your children would actually see from him? Saying well he sent things to them but it took to long.("3 months later") Does that make it not count anymore? It seems nothing they try to do is acceptable to you in my opinion.
It seems that you wanted a war. Well you have succeeded in getting exactly what you wanted, and that is a war between family. Why I am unsure. That is not rational behavior, nor is it good parenting.
It would appear they have given up on trying to be a family with you, (They have exausted all rational ways to allow a child-father relationship to be established) which is sad, as the only ones that are truly affected by this is your children. They are missing out on what could potentially be a good stable family, and there is nothing more real out there than family. I can't even get my daughter's father, or g/f to MEET her, or say one single thing to us.. You should count your blessings, and stop throwing away opportunities.
Your children I am so sorry for. I don't even know where to begin to heal their wounds.
If you want to help your children then do it. Work with their father, and his family. (if you still have any opportunities left)
Compromise is something that EVERY person has to do in life. Accept what is acceptable, dismiss the rest, and move on with your life. Tell your children that your sorry. Putting something like that on your son was irresponsible parenting in my opinion. He was 13, and he wanted to help his mom who was crying because of what "daddy" had done to her. Daddy was trying to give mommy 20,000.00, why were you crying? No I don't understand you, not at all.
The only thing I agreed with at all in your actions, were your not putting your daughter on a plane to go see someone that she did not know. But again, they tried to work around that, it would seem in YOUR side of the story, by having you go on a vacation with them. No you make no sense to me whatsoever. You seem to be the problem here, not the solution.
Also you don't seem to be worried about getting the money that is owed to your children, as you were going to, or did, sign away any money they would have actually received from their father.
It seems the only person playing a game is you. I'm sorry, I have nothing more to say on the matter, and I will stay out of this conversation, as it would appear it is going to continue to be unreasonable, and I have my own dead beat (who is actually one) to deal with.
Once again Sharon - Children are not pawns to use in child support games.
OUT -
#106 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, May 19, 2006
POSTED: Friday, May 19, 2006
Yes I have lived quite a life. One with many ups and downs. But I have survived and I have previded a good home for my children, regardless of whay anyone else thinks.
Kelly, not Richard, did offer many things, things that are normally to good to be true end up being just that. A family vacation with them was never in the cards for us (my husband, me or my kids). Richard was told this. I offered for him to come out here but it was Vegas or nothing, so the end result was nothing.
I don't bargain on the price of my kids. He only offered the 20K because he thought I needed the money that bad, the catch, take off the lein. As you stated I don't have control of the lein, the county does, even though I have been off of the system for 10 years now. The amount that he legally owed was more then what he was offering, as you have said the children are not pawns, as pawns you bargain on a price, I don't bargain on my children's life, they deserve better then that.
You don't know Richard at all, he would say anything and sign anything if he thought he was going to get ahead. Was it guaranteed to receive the 20K, only by his word, which doesn't hold any standing with me once so ever.
In the first place you don't make promises to kids that you don't intend to keep. He promised week after week to send what he was going to send his son. Steven is a very soft spoken person with a big heart. Week after week would go by, he would ask me "did Richard send it to your work yet?" I would have to tell him no but I would call and find out what is happening. It was always the same excuse, I will get to it tomorrow. Well when he did finally get to it was after we had one of many blow ups, then the package shows up. How would you feel to see hurt in your childs face. That breaks my heart.
I feel for your situation, because I have been there. No one acknowledge my kids for years, including their own father. Now that he wants to he told his own daughter that there was nothing for him here in California that is why he left. She does have feelings as does her brother who has never even seen him.
I hope that in your lifetime you never make a mistake, or a bad decision or say anything wrong. Over the internet people can be very critical of someone elses life or things that have happened to them. I don't hold it against you or anyone else that doesn't agree with me. The fact is that I have been the responsible one and taken care of my responsiblilites sometimes not under the best of circumstances, but you know what, I do tell my kids that I love them each and every day and they know that I will always be there for them as will their step father, grandfather, step-grandparents, many aunts and uncles and cousins. Family is important, this I whole heartly agree with. But you can't pick who your family is. Our family includes our friends, which are our extended family.
OUT-
#107 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, May 23, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, May 23, 2006
I am sorry but I have to agree with Lori, you want CONTROL, and why if you knew the relationship was hostile between you Rich and kelly would you put him on speaker phone so your kids could hear it? YOU are their protector , you DO NOT put them in situations to hear things like your daughter did about your grandmother, my sympathies on your loss.BUT YOU CHOSE TO PUT A CONVERSATION ON SPEAKER PHONE THAT YOU KNEW WAS GOING TO CONSIST OF NAME CALLING AND YELLING, so therefore, YOU chose to HURT your daughter and put that pained look you never want to see again on her face.
YOU assume no responsibility here, you started off by saying he wasn't, and hasn't paid support and no gifts etc., then down the line we find out there was a vacation offered,( you didn't have to hang out with them, you could have let the children see thier dad and had fun on their dime with your current husband, but it wasn't on YOUR terms and I really don't think you want those kids to love their dad, becuase he doesn't love you, I have expressed the weight thing being wrong on Kelly's part. but as Lori put it THEY have made attempts to be a family with you and you derailed it EVERYTIME, the man paid support for 9 years faithfully, and did send gifts and cards, you, yourself, said they wanted money, no, you have no right to delegate what they get for a GIFT a gift is given out of love and thoughtfullness, for the person it is being sent to, in your case the kids NOT YOU. That is plain rude, and you can't be their heroric mom if Rich gets to spend anytime with them , he may prove to them he DOES love them and you couldn't stand that,could you? You want them to love you and ONLY you and you use fighting for them, as an excuse to push away their father and his family, you are making decisions that hurt those kids and Rich for your own selfish reasons.
NONE OF THEM EVER DENIED YOU WERE OWED SUPPORT but its a long cryfrom deadbeat dad to one who actually paid for 9 years.
You do not give Rich credit to your children for what he tries to do, instead you let them in adult matters that are between you and Rich and actually is none of thier busines, child support is between the mother, father and courts.You are not a victim of a deadbeat dad, I had 2 kids and my ex blew his brains out last year, and did everything he could for 19 years to run from the support department.I find it sad you drag your kids into this, condone them swearing at adults, thats just shameful and I have to wonder what kind of mother lets a child of 14 swear at its father or any age for that matter.
You want control over Rich becuase you still love him , even though you deny it it comes through on your postings, so why don't you let the kids see their dad if they are old enough to swear at him,by your own admission. they are old to swaer and know all of yours and Rich's dirty laundry, and only the rotten stuff on dads side.then they are old enough to fly with a airline babysitter, yes, they have those, the stewardess's look after the kids and one stays with them at layovers and all you have to do is ask for it.You are doing EVERYTHING in your power to hold on to Rich the only way you can , USING his kids, that tells us you aren't as happily married as you profess to be.
You spend alot fo time with rich and not your husband occupying your thoughts.I wonder have you ever said a NICE word about kelly, Rich , their daughter , or his family to your kids?!
That is so childish using them that way, and I would advise you to keep your conversations with them private, since you don't want to hurt your own daughter again by trying to get even with Rich, how can you blame him for you turning it on speaker phone for your kids to listen!? THAT WAS ALL YOU DEAR.Sorry if this upsets you, but I have read all the postings, and I saw where you wrote the no child support, butleft out that he faithfully paid for 9 years, then there were no gifts etc., then we find out you left that out too, they did receive gifts and vacation offers to see the kids, where you and your hubby could have let the kids see their dad and kelly without you and your husband, and maybe you and your husband could have had some fun shopping or gambling , you also left out the crucial 20,000.00 settlement offer.
So I can see that you must be one sided when it comes to your kids as well.They only get o thear the bad stuff and putting that on speaker phone for your kids tointentionally hear was YOUR fault, not nice what he said, I give you that, I just lost my dad and I feel for you there,BUT I can't help but feel like you put the speaker phone on so Rich would say something to YOU, and it would further distance him from his kids. Time to grow up Sharon tell the whole truth not parts of it, get over your ex husband and try to mend the hatred YOU have spread by YOUR AND ONLY YOU ACTIONS ALONE so those kids can hear nice things about thier dad, and his family and not just the horrible stuff that makes you LOOK LIKE A VICTIM.You are owed back support so get it, and leave Rich and his family alone by your own admission you call there yourself day and night so the ball bounces in BOTH courts harrassment wise.
I hope one day your kids figure out the truth dad does love them he does pay support and send gifts to think of them, you have no business interfereing in that, also, why are packages sent TO YOUR WORK FOR YOUR KIDS AND NOT TO YOUR HOME SO THEY GET THEM PERSONALLY, WHY WORK? SO YOU CAN JUDGE FIRST HAND IF THEY ARE GOOD ENOUGH. YOU STATED THEY HAVE YOUR HOME ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER, THAT MAKES NO SENSE OTHER THAN AS LORI PUT IT, CONTROL!
#108 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, May 23, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, May 23, 2006
** YOU SAID -The children know who love and care about them. His family has only recently decided to get involved, but they have never been involved before. It's like his sister wanting contact, his brother, and the brother's girlfriend (who wouldn't know me if she walked into me or my kids) all thinking that they have a right to be a part of the kids life now. My daughter has told his sister NO, and as for the rest of them, including his mother, they don't want anything to do with them either. Now take into account that my ex-husband has had my address for the past 10 years that I have lived in the same place with the same phone number. His family will always claim that it is my fault, when no one has made the effort until now, because Stefanie is almost 18 now. Stefanie and Steven weren't even worth a birthday card or an acknowledgement that they existed.
Is this true? Wait a second.. Is this true? I wish I knew if this were true. Now I have read the entire thread along with the entire website she provided, and I have to say I did not agree with her actions, and I still don't, except IF and only IF this is actually true does SOME (not many) of her actions make any sense.
Listen folks - if this is true and they have NEVER been involved with the kids, then maybe this is just what happens when the father abandons his own children and then almost 18 yrs later comes back around to say hi - now I want to know you. Where the hell has he been for 18 years?
Please take into consideration that her children are not small. We are not talking about children that are toddlers, we ARE talking about children that have their own minds, and can make up their own minds about their own father.
Sharon - I guess my only question to you is.. why do your children feel this way? Is it because they (not you) feel abandoned by richard, and they are walking away from him, as he did them? Or is it because of the years and years of mommy telling them what a jerk their daddy is?
If the daughter is almost 18 years old then it's really not fair for richards family to NOW all of the sudden want to get involved. That doesn't seem right. Why now? Children are not stupid, the daughter probably figured things out by the time she was 14, and now she's close to 18. She's had a few years to see what is going on, and a few years to feel the pain of his actions (or non actions) Where was "daddy" when she was 4-17? Children don't tend to forgive easily when they have been abandoned. How old is the child from Richard's new wife.. How long has Sharon's children known about the new child? Maybe they felt replaced? Would you?
I have a few questions, if someone could answer them it would be appreciated.
1. How old were the kids the FIRST time richard, or his family sent a gift to them?
2. When did all the phone calls start? Who initiated it?
3. Has Richard even met his own children yet?
4. Is this a "johnny come lately" ordeal?
Sharon didn't put his name up here the 9 years he was paying support (by force I assume)
Listen people just because he's "paying support" doesn't mean he's not a dead beat. It just means he doesn't want to bounce from job to job. What about the relationship with his children? Has he had one at all ever? Money doesn't heal wounds.
I'm not taking away my original statement that I still feel Sharon is being unreasonable, however, if what she says is true, I just have to say.. Having a court garnish his wages (remember that is forced payment not volunteer payment) for 9 years, so the government could get it's money back shows WHAT to the kids? The kids could care less if he was paying support back to the state for 9 years if they weren't getting it, or anything,(not even a hello)from "daddy"
Just a thought.. Well I couldn't stay out of the conversation.. although I did try because in my opinion it is still a little bit childish and unreasonable, yet Sharon may just have a point.. IF what she says is correct.
#109 Employee
AUTHOR: Angie - Norfolk (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, May 24, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Hello again everyone.....
I have sat back and again started seeing the mud sling and boy do I hate this whole situation......
I want to say again for the record.... No one from this side of the family has a problem with Sharon's decision to go back to court..... I do however have a problem with some of the accusations made about my brother from Sharon..... Who sometimes gives the facts as she likes to interpret them.
I have a problem with her starting this blog to mud sling my brother before the court can make any decisions. I feel it is a vindictive and mean spirited way for her to get her opinions of him on the internet so that she may find people to jump on her bandwagon. When ever someone responds and does not exactly agree with her opinion her responses are just mean and hateful. She does not want the suggestions given her because she is right and she does not see that she has ever done or said anything that is not perfect.
Now I have never had any information on how to contact my niece and nephew, and not knowing Sharon's new married name until recently was impossible to find. Until sometime last fall when Kelly sent me Stefanie's email address so that I could see a picture of my niece that was posted on her webpage. Kelly also gave me Sharon's email address. When ever I asked my brother about how to get in touch with the kids he never had the info handy and not wanting to push him I backed off. When I got the info I emailed my niece a little note to try to get to know her explaining that I had never had an address, no response from her I instant messages her mother one day.
The instant message correspondence was on my part away to have contact with the kids, but quickly turned into a way for her to sling mud about my brother. I did however get her address and the kid's birthdates out of her. After saying several times that I was not interested in either defending or speaking for my brother the IM was ended. Her correspondence to me from then on was about this website, my reply was that I was not interested in listening to her rant about Richard and my only motive was to have contact with the children, in the meantime Stefanie e mailed me and told me not to contact her or her mother again.
Okay so March comes along and I sent my nephew a Birthday message...”Hows it going this is your Aunt, asked about school , his cat and simple things like this....” After getting a return message that my email was blocked from all of the email addresses I have for them, I saw my niece on line one night and instant messaged her about having the e mail returned to me. At this point I cut and pasted the entire email into the IM so that I could have it forwarded to him......My niece pretty much told me to hold my breath to get a response, and was cussing in the IM to me ... Okay I am an adult I just wanted the message forwarded I backed off....
Now the reason the kids will not have anything to do with me is either that my brother is not responsible and or depending on which blog you read has to do with me never contacting them before...
Well I can not apologize forever for not having contact information. But I have put forth an effort....
I truly have thought about these children all these years and with the internet even looked up Sharon Santerre many many times to no avail... not knowing that she was married nor what her new name was I hit a dead end... I even looked up the kids hoping to find them on a school page or something.
Sharon forgets that in her many late night phone calls to my brother and Kelly over the years that she had told Kelly that she never wanted Rich to have contact. Apparently that meant his family as well. Seems to me she only wanted his money and not for him to be a real father to them.
I can go on and on and on with this but I think you all get the picture. There are always two sides to every story out there. Anyone reading and responding to this blog should be aware of this and understand that some of us do not wish to sling mud on the internet.
Now the court date is coming up and I can only hope that she will get some kind of satisfaction. Maybe after all is resolved my family and I will be allowed or deemed worthy to contact the kids. I can pray.... Until then they have my many emails address and I will continue to attempt contact.
Ruth.... my Mom's health is better now, not exactly where we would like it to be but some of the stress has been lifted. Thank you for your concern in your previous blog responses.
#110 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, May 24, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Always a pleasure to hear from you Angie, and Ruth.
Laura-I will answer your 4 questions.
Yes it is true. After his mother called be a FB I never had the need to call her again and she didn't call me. Michael, never heard from, Vanessa, like I have said, I don't know her.
1. The gifts given are as follows-a stretch arm stong puppy and some shirts back in 1995. No birthday cards have ever been sent to either of the kids. Stefanie did get some clothes a couple of years back I think in 2004, they the MP3 players right after Thanksgiving in 2005. Then the package that was sent 3 months late. Steven is still waiting on that helmet.
2. When he is out of work I will call and remind him of his responsibilities. Legally he will be held responsible, period.
3. Since he left CA back in late 1991, he has never seen his children. He has never come out here to see them and no, I would never think of putting them on a plane although he did offer when Stefanie was around 11 or 12 (again in my bio). Just a couple of years between 3 and 11-12 don't you think.
4. This is a JOHNNY COME LATELY.
Everyone is invited to FakefordStefvenGetChildSupport on Yahoo. I have done some more work on the site and yes it is all true. I don't have to vindicate myself for anyone nor will I. I have the paperwork that backs it all up. Better yet come to court, I am sure that you, Angie, Michael, Kelly, Dianne all know when it is.
Laura-The children or I didn't even know of Kelly or their daughters existence until 1998. Stefanie was 10 years old and Steven was 6. Yes, she did feel abandonded as well as Steven. I didn't have an answer for his behavior nor do I have one now. I get repeated phone calls for Jenny Craig, thanks Kelly I will be sure to let my doctor know that I don't need to see him because you are right on top of my health. My supervisors supervisor gets phone calls if I answer during the day while I am supposed to be at work, even if I am on my lunch or I come home.
The court does garnish his wages, this is not done out of the kindness of his heart nor will it ever be. As my bio puts it I bargained once, that will never happen again.
It is 9pm my time, I am sure that Kelly or Angie or even Ruth will have another posting, that is almost guaranteed. I have to go to work in the morning so have a nice night.
Bye!!
#111 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, May 25, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, May 25, 2006
Hi again... It appears that although there was contact throughout the years, it has been one sided, and Richard is not the innocent bystander here. Angie seems to be sincere, but I think it was to late by the time she got the information she should have requested long ago (with a little more "pushing") from Richard, as he did seem to have a way for the family to contact the kids.
I think the only reason it is about money with Sharon anymore is simply because she feels that Richard has vacated his emotional responsability to the children many many years ago.
It seems Sharon does have quite a bit of anger built up from him leaving California, and turning his back on his children. I don't blame her. He did have children he was leaving behind.
I think the "support" is just that. Something that Sharon can get from him. You can't walk away from your children and then 8 or 10 years later come back and say well, ok, now I want to see my kids. He already abandoned them! You can't change your mind many years later and expect any different results than what is happening now. (ie. the kids saying yeah thanks but no thanks.)
It was nice of him to send gifts, but he's not a grandparent, he was supposed to be a DAD to those children. A dad that called (if nothing else) everynight to say goodnight ALL OF THEIR LIVES.
It is no wonder to me why the children are saying they don't want a relationship with him, or his family. The only one that seems to have wanted one (Angie) was not strong enough to actually go through with it and get the contact information from Richard. That is not the children's fault, nor is it Sharon's.
Yes it's a two sided street, but what was Sharon supposed to do when he left Cali? Call him and tell him to say goodnight to his children? It is NOT her responsability to FORCE him to be a dad. It was his responsability to gain visitation from the courts, (or work with Sharon when the kids were young) and then proceed in coming around on those visitation days.
I understand where Sharon is coming from. Every single day I wonder where the hell my baby's daddy is and why he can't pick up a phone, and say hi or bother to come see his baby. If he decides to come around when she's 17, do you really think my story will be much different? You can't abandon your own children, and then come back years later and expect open arms from them. They have feelings.. even when they are children. Trust me, they noticed Richard's absense. A gift now and then doesn't make up for his lack of parenting his children. Nor does paying back the state for 9 years. The kids don't care about that nonsense. That doesn't replace his absense either now does it?
#112 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, May 26, 2006
POSTED: Friday, May 26, 2006
Laura-Thank you. I don't know what else to say..you read through all of the BS and you expressed your opinio, even though you may not agreee with it all, but you came up with exactly how my daughter feels. She read the report right when I get it and said, "Hey mom she sounds like a nice person." I do hope that you and your daughter don't have to go through what my kids and I have. Emotionally, it is very taxing on me, but my kids are worth it. The website also takes a lot of time and reading and there is so much more that I will be adding to it.
Anyways, just wanted to say thanks, and keep your chin up in getting what your child deserves, that little smile she gives you know is nothing compared to what you will receive as she gets older.
I will send a last update after court. For the Santerre side, hope to see you all there!!!
#113 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Marie - COLTON (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, May 27, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, May 27, 2006
Sharon or someone who knows
Wow I have been reading this and to say the least I am confused. So maybe someone can clear a few things up for me.
1) From 19-- to 19-- you where on AFDC?
2) From 19-- to 19-- or 200- did Richard pay 9 years of child support?
3)Did he pay the state while you where on AFDC?
4) Has Richard ever seen his son?
I am just trying to sort this out.
Thanks to anyone who response
#114 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, May 27, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, May 27, 2006
1. AFDC 1991-1996
2. Paid child support from 1998-2003 (court ordered, wouldn't pay without a court order)
3. State repay-Supposed to be 100.00 per month
4. Has never seen his son face to face. Steven is 14. Hasn't seen his daughter since she was 3 years old, she is now 17, will be 18 in September.
#115 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Marie - COLTON (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, May 27, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, May 27, 2006
Let me start by saying I think Richard has been very wrong for not having any thing to do with his children. That is between him & his children. Richard is the only one who can take the steps to fix that.Sharon that you need to let go of you can't change it or fix it so just be there for your children and let them deal or don't deal with there father as they need to. Your children have their own opinion of their father without you telling them how bad he is. I don't care how honest & open a family is there is no need to bash someone. I myself can't stand my ex but will not talk bad of him to or around my children they are smart and can see him for who he is with out my opinion.
Now as for the child suport I'm still confused on this and some of what I an going to say about this will upset some of you but here I go. I unerstand that Richard did not pay suport I guess the first 5-7 years so you were on AFDC and with that you received med,housing(assisted)food,money and schooling.so even though he did not pay out of pocket you were assisted and educated. I am not saying he should not have paid but you had help and he now has a lein on his house to cover that so at some point that child suport will have to be paid back to were it needs to be paid not to you to the county so that lein is none of you business.That is between Richard and the county. If anyone has the rihgt to be mad at Richard for that time frame it would be us the tax payers that supported you and Richards children and he has yet to pay it.Thanks Richard.
Ok now this is where I get real confused if you were on AFDC from 1991 to 1996 and he paid 9 years of chid suport(am I wrong on the 9 year thing)that adds up to 14 years.So he owes you money of some amount you said $15,000.00 + and $5,000.00 + for med and when offered $20,000.00 you said no unbelievable. Do you not know what that would have done for your children or do you not care. I would have went on vacation too. You didn't want the money so why not.You can only blame yourself for that. You should have taken the and the Vegas trip enjoyed yourself and be done with this.Instead you don't have the money, you have even more anger and thats better? Why?
#116 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, May 28, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, May 28, 2006
Go to fakefordstefvengetchildsupport. There is my bio that is taken from the court papers.
I don't plan on answering any more until after the court date. It is all right there, and every bit is true.
#117 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, May 28, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, May 28, 2006
Read between the lines.. Everyone is jumping on a bandwagon of Sharon should have taken the 20k and Richard paid support for 9 years blah blah.. but give me a break.. IF RICHARD WANTED TO PAY 20K HE DID NOT HAVE TO PAY IT TO SHARON... THAT NEEDED TO GO TO SUPPORT ENFORCEMENT. That really has nothing to do with Sharon. Why is it Sharon's fault that SHE didn't take the 20k? WHY didn't Richard PAY IT TO SUPPORT ENFORCEMENT INSTEAD?
Well I can only guess, I would venture to say could it possibly be because this way he can say well she refused it, and feel better about laying down at night having abandoned his own children?
Please remember he took his other family on vacation with that money instead of paying it to his children. Maybe the children would have seen some of that money? Could he have put 10k towards child support and 10k in an account for his kids? NOT SHARON.. Your kids.
The bottom line is, it was up to Richard how he spent that money, and that money was spent on taking his "other" family on vacation, not on his children he loves..or is it abandoned? pretty typical for a dead beat wouldn't you say?
The only reason it would seem that Richard would pay anything was to better HIS situation aka the "lien" on his house. Which again, has nothing to do with Sharon. Again SHARON did not put that lein on his house. THE STATE DID. Richard needs to deal with the state not with Sharon with those matters. It is not up to the mother to "make a deal" with the father. He owes what he owes to the state so be it.
If Sharon wouldn't have been on assistance Richard would STILL be in arrears in child support simply because he wouldn't have paid it to the children anymore than he's paying it to the state. So give me a break about Sharon being on assistance. 90% of the mother's on this site are on assistance. Mother's do what mother's have to do, even if it's assistance from the state. MAYBE if richard would have just helped support the children voluntarily maybe Sharon wouldn't have needed the additional support from US TAXPAYERS?
The vacation - Make me laugh.. yeah at first I thought well why doesn't this mother want to go on an all expense vacation, and let her kids know their father.. well could it possibly be that her kids were already teenagers by the time that was offered, and "daddy" hasn't been around AT ALL BEFORE? Maybe, just maybe it was the kids' choice to not go on vacation after so many absent years from "daddy." Maybe Sharon did not have vacation time saved up at her job. Maybe they didn't feel it was their responsability to up and leave their home to let "daddy" meet his kids in a strange environment. There could be a million reasons why that never happened, but it didn't. So move forward.
If Richard has all that money anyways.. aka 20k and "all expense vacation" WHAT in the world is STOPPING him from going to California to see his own children, then or now? What in the world is preventing him from opening an account for his kids to have something from "daddy." Why not send 100 bucks to each child a month (just for them, not the state) and have his checks garnished to pay back the state. The kids don't care about that money he's paying back to the state. Why not send a gift EVERY month to his own children if he doesn't want to send money. Here's a question.. WHY is he even in debt to the state at all if he has all that money?
Marie - I completely disagree with you about it being between the children and their father. No Sharon should not put her two cents worth in about their father, if she has nothing possitive to say about him.- She should keep it real with them, but not degrade their father in the meantime. However, when it comes to putting your teenaged daughter or son on a plane to go see someone they don't even know, or to "go on vacation" or to displace the children from the only environment or home they ever knew.. it is her RIGHT AS A MOTHER to absolutely be involved with her children and their father. She did raise them remember, while Richard was out skirting about getting a new family for again his benefit, not his childrens. Did he have his childrens best interest at heart when he got a new family, or when he forgot about helping raise the children he already had? I think not.
This is about his absense. That is what this is about. The only reason money is in play here is because that is ALL THAT'S LEFT for Sharon to work with, and at that, she has no control over that anymore than you or I do.
His wife is mad about the lein.. whatever, that just means you can't sell the house without paying the state back their money.. So they just don't sell wow that's a real problem. Maybe Richard should question Kelly's motives. Is greed, jealousy, and control involved there perhaps?
Marie - Tell me at what age do you think a child gets to decide whether or not to have a relationship with a man she/he doesn't know? At what age does it get taken out of the mom's hands and into the fragile mind of a teenaged child?
Richard has waited this long to know his kids. The kids don't seem to be interested in his existance now, just as he wasn't interested in theirs all of their lives. How is that Sharon's fault? Why doesn't Richard and his family just wait another 10 years to "want a relationship" with the kids.. the last 10 years didn't go unoticed by the children, maybe the next 10 won't go unoticed by Richard or his family that "love" the children oh so much.. as it shows in their actions over the years right? if Richard truly wanted a relationship with his kids, he COULD have had one.. No court in the US will allow a mother to "keep a father from them" if they truly wanted a relationship. He seems to have had the money to fly back and forth if he didn't want to live in Cali where his kids were. It is NOT Sharon's fault Richard doesn't know his own children.. It is Richard's.
#118 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: C - Vernon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, May 29, 2006
POSTED: Monday, May 29, 2006
This is an issue between Richard and Sharon. I suggest Richard speak for himself, not all his relatives. Is there a reason he doesn't reply? Could it be Sharon is right on all counts? maybe Richards wife should stop speaking for him and let him speak. He obviously had balls when he got Sharon pregnant with his offspring, maybe he should grow those balls back once more and say his side of the story. On the other hand, if he is a real deadbeat, he will continue his silence or let his relatives speak for him.
Well?? Thought so.
#119 Employee
AUTHOR: Angie - Norfolk (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, May 29, 2006
POSTED: Monday, May 29, 2006
Just for the record, the 20K that was offered to Sharon was not Richard's money it was Kelly's money.... Part of an estate settlement from the death of her father... it was offered to Sharron to go toward the amount owed to her not the state.. A very generous offer from Kelly, to take the money her father left her and her daughter and offer to give it to Rich to get this taken care of (selfish to because it would have stopped the phone endless phone calls that I might also add only happen when there is any break or problem with money..... At the time Sharon was giving Richard the impression she could take the lien off the house...... You must also realize the only contact allowed by her through the years is when Rich has been laid off and the money stops or is late getting to her by even one day........ And she has never allowed the children to call....
Sharon will have a response to this I am sure but no one really knows who is truthful here and how truthful anyone is because no one other then them knows do we.....................
#120 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, May 30, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Angie, those sound like second hand excuses to me.
First of all - when your married it is considered joint money not his or hers. Or are they not married?
Secondly - If you read her bio it does say that her son called Richard one day from his cell phone while she was crying, and talked to his father about the situation.(aka 20k)I don't agree with those actions howevever it leads me to ask: How did he have access to that number so quickly if he wasn't allowed to call through the years?
And Finally - All money owed to either Sharon or the state would have to go via the state in order to count as a child support payment, even if it was owed to Sharon. You cannot re-route money from the state and give it directly to the person owed. They are a collection agency, you pay them, they pay the one owed.
Therefore no "deal" needed to be "accepted" or "denied" by Sharon for them to pay this 20k. In all reality not even one single penny was actually put towards the balance owed to the children or the state, with that 20k.
Nice of Kelly to offer, but it appears it was not a sincere offer, otherwise it would have been paid to the support enforcement office, reguardless of what Sharon said. However, this way it appears Kelly comes out smelling like a rose. She is praised from the family for the offer, yet was able to keep the money all for herself. Her intentions all along perhaps?
Richard must think Sharon has super powers if he was "under the impression" Sharon had any control over the lein on his house. Well it's again not Sharon's fault he is so ignorant either is it?
In my opinion, Richard should have focused on his children and their value of life, and maybe saved his whole family this heartache all these years later.
You all have nobody to blame for this except Richard. I know family sticks together, but someone needs to tell Richard how it is, and make him feel ashamed for abandoning his children so many years ago. It is his fault he has no relationship with his own children. It is partially his fault none of you have a relationship with your niece and nephew also.
All of you should have insisted via a court to get visitation rights in place, but none of you did. Have you ever heard of grandparental rights, or visitation rights? Sharon would not have had any rights to keep the kids away from any of you had Richard went to court and filed for visitation. Now, it's the kids that don't seem to be interested in visiting a family they just simply don't know. I'm sure you are not bad people, they just simply don't know you as family.
Your trying to blame Sharon the mother, the one that stuck around to raise those kids? Wrong avenue of approach if your desire is to have any kind of relationship with the children, wouldn't you say? I understand that makes it easier to sleep at night, (laying blame on the mom) but that simply is not right for your family to do. All that will do is bring further distance to an already almost impossible relationship to be established with the children and your side of the family. You should remember those children love their mother fully and unconditionally before you continue attacking her. Just a suggestion for thought.
#121 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Elizabeth - Saint Charles (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, May 30, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, May 30, 2006
The simple fact of the matter is that both sides have been wrong in many ways. The children's father should have made an effort to be part of his children's lives since day one and his family should have pressured him to do so. The children's mother has no right whatsoever to discuss child support issues with the children. This is an issue between the parents, not the children.
Children should never be allowed to show disrespect to either parent and whether they are good parents or absentee sperm/egg donors does not matter. Part of the problem with our society today is that no one has any common courtesy or respect anymore. This is our fault as parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. It is our job to raise our children with respect for our elders. It is our job to teach our children to voice their opinions or disagree in a respectful manner.
Richard may be a putz as a father but Sharon is certainly not winning the mother of the year award either. Seems BOTH of these parents need some parenting classes and some counseling - one to learn to be part of his children's lives and the other to learn that kids are just that - kids. Reading the webpage about crying in front of the son over frustration about money and child support made me gasp in horror. Seems to me that BOTH of these parents have let these kids down. Here's hoping that the courts can see through the cow muck coming from both sides and order this whole family into counseling.
#122 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
Laura said:
Nice of Kelly to offer, but it appears it was not a sincere offer, otherwise it would have been paid to the support enforcement office, reguardless of what Sharon said. However, this way it appears Kelly comes out smelling like a rose. She is praised from the family for the offer, yet was able to keep the money all for herself. Her intentions all along perhaps?
That's a pretty gutsy assumption. I mean, had Sharon "called her bluff", I guess we wouldn't be sitting here wondering, huh? I don't know about you, but a guy who paid his child support pretty faithfully until he lost his job and got in rears because of his income has an uphill battle. It's not like a credit card's 29 dollar late fee.
The money was probably willed to Kelly, and NOT Kelly and Mr Santerre. The money is hers to do what she wants. Tell you what, if I was treated shabbily and my spouse was treated shabbily, I wouldn't have offered a dime. There would be time to "figure it out later" after a nice funeral, and perhaps a vacation.
Marie is right. The lien on the house is from the county. Had Sharon wanted to really pull a number, she could have accepted the money - cold cash! - and Kelly's property would have STILL been in rears with the county.
So actually, Sharon's "accounting" and demand for "every cent" did Richard a favor. And hopefully, Kelly learned her almost $20K lesson.
Laura said:
Listen people just because he's "paying support" doesn't mean he's not a dead beat.
Well, yes, actually, paying support DOES mean he's not a deadbeat.
Laura, sorry about your situation, but even you said that you would accept calls from your baby's daddy. Sharon refuses calls. She pits her kids against their father. They insult the complete other side of the family. Any effort on Kelly's part has been completely insulted. It appears that it is only MONEY that Sharon wants. Certainly not any time with everyone together.
And yes, turning down an all-expenses vacation with no viable reason WOULD suggest that Sharon wants to keep the kids away from Richard. Two months into this argument, and no reason has been presented. It DOES matter, because it displays an example of character.
Is that how you'd act? The minute he calls to see his baby, would you have him arrested for non-payment? Be careful how you answer...
Laura said:
You should remember those children love their mother fully and unconditionally before you continue attacking her. Just a suggestion for thought.
And they might love their dad, if they had the chance to see him. But a snowballs chance in an oven of THAT happening unless Sharon is satisfied with the balance in her bank account and the image of Richard irrepariably damaged for all time...
But just a suggestion for thought.
#123 Employee
AUTHOR: Angie - Norfolk (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
Hey Nick nice to see you back in the mix.....
I don't think anyone mentioned this before but I will.....Rich had the money garnished not the other way around.... He asked that it be garnished for several reasons.... One..you can't dispute the counties accounting.... well you could but it would be pointless.. second for the shear convenience of it.....
It is said to see people that are so caught up in their own nasty divorce to see both sides of a story.....
And oh by the way Rich does not respond here for his own reasons, but why would he nothing he said here is admisable in court and nothing he says here would be enough for Sharon or anyone else here for that matter...
Rich will answer to the court, the only place he has to respond to and the only place that matters..... Not to worry though Sharon will post any thing from the court on her web site.. with her own spin on it I am sure....
Bye y'all!
#124 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
No, that is not how I would respond to MY baby's daddy. However, my daughter is 13 months old compared to Sharon's 17 years old. So I don't think you can even come close to comparing the two situations.
I have never said I agree with Sharon's behavior with their father, (in fact I've stated the opposite) only that she may be only interested in money now, BECAUSE a relationship was never established to begin with, between father and children.
You cannot seriously think that Richard not knowing his own children is Sharon's fault Nick? How come Richard didn't get visitation, and fly his kids out to see him when they were young? If he would have done that then his children would already have a well established relationship with their father, and Sharon would be in a completely different situation than she is now. I'll even go one further and ask why now? If he didn't want to see them before why does he have a sudden interest in them now?
I did not read anywhere where calls were refused from Sharon. However, if that is the case, then I would then ask at what age did she start refusing the calls? Again, if the children were old enough (16,17) to say no mom I dont want to talk to him, then would you force your children to take the call anyway? I always keep my children's opinions and feelings into consideration don't you? No they don't get to call the shots, but they do get to voice their opinion. Now granted at 13 months old that option would not be available to my daughter, but then again neither would a phone call really mean anything to her at this point either. If my daughter were 17 I do believe I would offer the phone to her, and if she refused it, I would simply say, she doesn't want to take the call right now, I'm sorry, but I will talk to her and get back to you. But that's just me, I'm not Sharon, and no I wouldn't have my children involved as Sharon has in the past, but again.. not my situation, not my call, just my opinion.
My situation is far from Sharon's situation, and to be honest, you will read shortly on my own thread how wrong I was. So please do not group my child, or rob with this situation Nick, as they do not mix, and they are not the same. The only thing that was the same is being resolved in my situation, and that is the absentee of one parent. I don't care about the money, only the relationship. But again, I'm not Sharon, and again my child is not 17 years old.
I know how heartbreaking it is when they are young for it to seem like a father doesn't care. However, I have not experienced 17 years of feeling that way, so I really don't know what I would do at that stage. I am not going to judge Sharon for doing what she thought was right (even if maybe some things were the wrong approach) because that is not my place, or yours, it is simply sad that these chidren do now know their own father, and they are already almost adults.
Yes what I said IS true, just because he's paying support doesn't mean he is not a deadbeat dad. Children are not CAR PAYMENTS, they are your children, and if you don't know them, then you are a deadbeat in my opinion.
I did assume with Kelly's status of intent. However, I don't believe a step mother or step father's involvement should be so intrusive, in situations as this. Their direct involvement only leads the waves to become larger, and takes the wounds that much more time to heal. That again is just my opinion.
#125 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
I decided to leave this site alone for awhile due to family circumstances and responsibilities I have at my employment and home life. I have tried to go on and read but however can't respond to everyone due to the fact I refuse to waste my entire evening repeating things over and over. Thank you Nick and Ruth who see the whole side and can see the bitterness in Sharon and the support on this “blog”.
As for the death of my father and what was left was mine. Yes, we are married and responsibilities should be shared. Should they be shared when I have been told my help is not wanted or needed numerous times? I send gifts only to be criticized they aren't good enough or not acceptable. I thought I would give it one last attempt with the money and trip, water under the bridge now. Again, that will be beat to a pulp. Just like the gifts that were late because they were sent and came back here and we resent them. The helmet was sent and this was the first I heard it wasn't received. I will look into it but Sharon you made sure you waited long enough to say and only on the “blog” here. Guess it gives you the upper hand? I will be looking into it and see why it wasn't received. Since the boxes went UPS I could of and will try to track the packages to make sure you got both. The only other thing I can think of is when we repacked the boxes something happened but I haven't seen it. If I found it I would of sent what was promised like I did the jackets, MP3 players and clothing. Lets see what about the windbreaker I sent Stephanie? That was never mentioned just the bad or the things Sharon didn't like. I am sorry if they are considered in most states as cute and normal clothing for a teenager. Sorry if your just jealous you can't wear those items. Sorry Ruth don't mean to offend anyone and should be nice. Nice? I have watched Rich's pain and anger throughout the years in regards to the children. He was never allowed to speak with them until they became old enough to insist and Sharon couldn't control it. Obviously, she made sure to ruin it. She admitted to me she never wanted them to speak or have any relationship with there father and if she could control it she would. How do children at a young age know that their father tried to call and see them, if not told the truth.?
I have been made the scape goat for a lot here but I can take it, if that is someone's opinion their entitled to it. I get accused of every little thing that happens to her.
Again, for the record Rich is now paying support again and was for quite some time before he got laid off. Anytime he left or changed employment he did notify Sharon. OOPS that wasn't mentioned. To sit and say that he is a deadbeat amazes me. Isn't a deadbeat someone who avoids everything including support, and the he had notification with the state of California.
I think it is great that Sharon wants to help others but if you are so concerned about your case shouldn't you be focusing on that? I do think it is kind hearted but the truth here is I feel it is for your own benefit. Maybe I am wrong but you will only infect those around you with the hatred and bitterness that you have. Is that doing a service? I hope truly that it is satisfying to you.
The problem I have here is Rich is the wrong one and should do this and that. In a divorce is anyone really right? Can't there always be room for improvement for both parents and what they do or how they react? Sharon did have those kids and raise them no one denied that. She couldn't have improved any? As she says she wants nothing to do with him but yet found out about me and that he had another child made her very jealous. Yes, from the kids point of view I could see how that would be a hurtful thing. Again, with having the phone slammed down and being told he isn't allowed to talk with the kids how could he build a relationship so they wouldn't be hurt? He did try to have contact but it never was allowed and again for awhile he did only because she couldn't stop the kids because then she would be the bad one in their eyes. Then when the children got to read this website, look at court documents and be exposed to what is truly adult business they now want nothing to do with him once again. Should the children call and ask for child support and what is going on? That had no effect or weighed the decision on how they felt about their father? Who is really trying to come our smelling like a rose here? Sharon got what she told me she wanted, CONTROL over the kids and their relationship with their father. Please Sharon stop all the fluff about how you encouraged it. If anything you only destroyed it every opportunity you got and patiently waited knowing eventually you would do so. I now know the pattern with you and your motives when the kids would call. You had them call to get Rich on the phone and then hang up and only to keeping calling ranting, raving and repeating the same actions over and over night after night.
For a bit the contact was good between the two of you but that was only when he had contact with the kids. Seeing a pattern?
If others want to see only the one side then fine. Obviously, they are very bitter and some admitted they have issues of their own. If you can't be objective then you need to seek help yourself for your children's sake. Isn't that what we all claim is the important part here?
#126 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Elizabeth - Saint Charles (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
Nick,
Thank you so much. It's good to know that not everyone is blinded by the "poor single mom" excuse.
Fact is if Sharon really wanted what was best for her children she would teach them to respect their WHOLE family, not just the ones she likes. She would also want her children to have a good relationship with their father and would be willing to work toward this. Sharon would keep her opinions about their father to herself as well as ADULT issues such as child support.
What it comes down to is this ....... a lot of us have exes and most of us don't care for them much otherwise why would they be exes? BUT it is our jobs and our families jobs to encourage our children to have good, strong relationships with BOTH parents as well as step-parents.
Richard however needs to realize this as well and get off his butt and put forth the effort with his children. Call everyday. Ask them if he can come visit. Email. Write letters. Doesn't take much to make a child feel loved - just some attention.
#127 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Lori - Kalkaska (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
Threads like this one just break my heart. My husband has a daughter that lives two states away. He pays child support (therefore, not a deadbeat dad in my opinion). And he WANTS to see his daughter! The problem? In nine years time, we've seen her TWICE, each time for only a couple of weeks.
The court order says that he's allowed to have her for 4 weeks each summer. The excuses that we get are as varied as the days of the year. Mom always has other plans that won't allow us to have our daughter. Whether a trip overseas, already signed up for camp, dentist/doctor appointments......you name it, we've heard it all. He calls, we're told that daughter is out riding her bike.....call back 30 min later, she's sleeping (at 7pm???). She's at a birthday party, a game, watching a movie....GRRRRRR.
This year, we are being told that the daughter doesn't want to come out here. And if we 'convince' her (ok, who's the parent here? We don't 'convince our other chidren to do their chores or go to bed on time, why should we convince our daughter that she's supposed to be here during the summer?) to come, she MUST be allowed to contact mom on a daily basis (which the last two times became a fiasco because we spent at least an hour settling her after the phone call, which consisted of 'mommy misses you so much', 'mommy doesn't know what to do without you', 'they wouldn't let you have mac and cheese again for dinner? you have to eat what they fix? why? ' etc etc), and since they have plans both the first and third weekend in July, and will be leaving on an extended vacation the first of August, we'll have to work around that.
Mom has informed us that it's 'not about the money' it's about being a parent. WONDERFUL, then let us be the parent! We send Birthday and Christmas gifts (which by the way, we've never received a thank you for, or even an acknowledgement that they were received), we email (which gets a reply, usually one sentence, I expect more from a 12 year old than 'I'm good'), we call (you already know the story there), all of which are never enough. Husband has been in the area, and been told that he couldn't stop in to see his daughter.....no reason given. We've fought to obtain report cards and information from the school, or we wouldn't even get these.
Enforcement for visitation? What a joke! As long as child support is being paid, no one really cares whether dad wants to see his daughter or not. Bitter? You bet! Our daughter is 12 years old now, and despite our efforts to maintain contact and see her, we've been stonewalled. She (mom) wants her child support, but hell with visitation. Her 'live-in' is dad (per mom), my husband is 'father'. Angry? Hmmmm, ya think? My husband is a wonderful dad, quite capable of anything that I am. He takes the kids shopping, out to eat, to ball games, helps them plant gardens, teaches them how to care for their pets, plays video games and tucks them into bed.... AFTER working a 70-80 hour week. Two of our children are special needs kids, and he always finds time to make it to the cardiologist (sp?), endocrinologist, pediatrician, ENT, hearing aid fittings, you name it.Yet he's not good enough to be able to care for his daughter for 4 weeks out of 52.
Why is it that women seem to have the opinion that a man is good enough to support the child, yet not good enough to care for them? I'm a mom, I've also had two older children from a previous relationship. The lines of communication were always open, child support was not required (side note here: WE send the child support monthly, it's not garnished.) I had to FIGHT to get him to see the kids, beg for him to be involved. My older children have decided that they weren't that important to their father on their own accord, and dad now readily admits that in his efforts to hurt me, the backlash has now come back to him. He's also very open that it was his own fault, not mine.
I guess that either a) I'm really that stupid, or b) that I'm old fashioned in my beliefs that a child needs TWO parents. Either way, the situation remains the same, and we only have more years of frustration and heartache ahead of us. Honestly, I'm to the point that I can say I don't feel that my husband should have to continue to pay child support for a child that we aren't allowed to see. What's the sense? Mom has practiced PA (parental alienation) for so long that there's not much hope at us ever having a relationship with our daughter, she can do no wrong, we can do no right. Mom has to control every moment of every day of her daughters life, there is little hope that she'll ever turn to us for anything.
I'm sure that I'm not making many friends here, but such a broad classification of 'deadbeat dad' is unfair and self serving. There are those out here that have learned that there is no such thing as justice, no such thing as fairness, and mom's seem to be able to hold all the cards. The courts have found that it's easy to regulate and enforce monetary issues, but matters of the heart are out of their reach.
In closing, I thank the Supreme Being each and every night for the man that I married, for my childrens dad. Despite the roller coaster ride we seem to be on, I'm a very lucky women, and our children are blessed in ways they don't even realize yet. Those in our lives who choose not to accept what he has to offer are missing out.....
#128 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
Kelly, Absolutely the kids are the MOST important without question, without a doubt. Remember that the next time you start talking trash ABOUT THEM.
I only have one thing to say when it comes to this business of Richard wanted and TRIED to see his children. CAN ANYBODY SAY COURT ORDERED VISITATION?
"fluff" or no "fluff" you can't "fluff" court ordered visitation arrangements.
All of the excuses of hang ups, and how it's all Sharon's fault because this & that, is just that EXCUSES.. Now that I have said my opinion, and it doesn't agree with yours Kelly, now you are attacking me as well? (Didn't you say something simular to Sharon in an earlier post when she did that same thing?) You don't even know me, or my situation, and your trying to discredit me? Wow tells me how YOU really are.
Why don't you read the end of my thread, and then tell me that I need help raising my children. As always the most important thing in my OWN opinion is a RELATIONSHIP. There is nothing more. Relationship between parents and their children, that's all that truly matters.
This whole thing about money.. think about it... if visitation would have been achieved when those kids were young, then wouldn't they know their father, and would we really be arguing about this at all?
Richard has shown those kids very well how to abandon people.. hence that is what they are doing to him. Think about it.
#129 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Elizabeth - Saint Charles (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 01, 2006
Kelly,
Thank you for the clarification on a few issues. It is good to hear that Richard has indeed tried to be a father to his children.
I totally agree with Lori in that enforcing visitation for a non-custodial parent is near impossible. Miss a month of child support and the state is all over you. Miss a month of visitation and start the 6 month waiting game to attempt to have the custodial parent held in contempt. Its a grave miscarriage of justice on the part of our family courts and it just plain sucks. I have not seen the court documents but from what I hear Richard does not have court ordered visitation. He needs to get it. Its not all that enforceable on children the age they are but just going for it would probably carry some weight with the kids.
Kelly, Richard needs to keep making attempts to contact the children. Send them a letter every week and send it certified, return receipt requested. If Sharon refuses it or won't pick it up you have proof. Send emails and keep copies of them. Someday those kids will come calling and presenting them with proof that he has tried will help. As a mother you know that your kids will always be part of you and it will NEVER be too late for Richard to keep trying.
I wish all of you the best in overcoming your anger and hurt and moving forward with the kids best interests at heart. It is never too late.
#130 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
Laura said:
No, that is not how I would respond to MY baby's daddy. However, my daughter is 13 months old compared to Sharon's 17 years old. So I don't think you can even come close to comparing the two situations.
I wasn't comparing the situations. I was pointing out the difference between you and Sharon was that she doesn't want to be civil with Richard or his wife, while you would be open to the idea. While that is her right, don't pontificate on the fact that one person moved on, and the other didn't, and which is worse.
You hold such contempt (as did I, initially - go read the whole thread) for this "abandonment". But when they got divorced, he obviously went on with life. He got remarried. He is taking care of Kelly's kids, which initially I even burned Kelly for, but also his own. Until I realized that Sharon was charging Richard for half of whatever she thought the kids should have. That's not following a court order, and that's bullcrap. She didn't use his health benefits ONCE, but wants him to pay out of pocket for what would have been covered medical expenses. That's just being vindictive.
Tell you what. If my ex was that bitter, and pitted the kids against me, yes I would pay the support. But why walk into a situation where you're not wanted? Why offer your hand when it gets smacked time and time again?
Our difference of opinion is that I think Kelly was taking the higher road in trying to help her husband pay off the debt. It was met with suspicion, contempt, insult and "Oh, I forgot to tack on the glasses AND the contact lenses, so now pay THIS amount".
I doubt you've even read the entire thread, Laura. So spend some time going through some of the facts.
For instance, the inital post says he owes 15K. They offered $20K, and it wasn't enough.
Kelly and Richard supposedly "stiffed" the kids on ALL Christmas and Birthdays. We find later that THAT claim was also untrue. It bears repeating: Richard and Kelly could buy the teenager a 2002 car with $30,000 miles, and it would be the worst crapheap ever to hit the open road. I've yet to see one thing that they've done that has been shown a modicum of appreciation.
Why should Kelly have "no interest" in the matter" Her house has a lien, and it remains her business.
Laura:
You cannot seriously think that Richard not knowing his own children is Sharon's fault Nick? How come Richard didn't get visitation, and fly his kids out to see him when they were young?
Because in California, you can get arrested for not being up to date for Child Support. Judging by this thread, I wouldn't chance it either.
Laura said:
Yes what I said IS true, just because he's paying support doesn't mean he is not a deadbeat dad. Children are not CAR PAYMENTS, they are your children, and if you don't know them, then you are a deadbeat in my opinion.
Well, no, again, what you said is false.
Your opinion doesn't stand up to any legal definition of "deadbeat dad" in any dictionary or court of law - but mine does. You can't just sling "deadbeat dad" wherever you fancy, or get philosophical with the term. Words mean things.
Wikipedia even defines: Deadbeat dad is a pejorative term (primarily U.S.) that refers to men who have fathered a child but fail to pay the amount of child support calculated by the relevant government agency as due to the mother or normally the agency itself for disbursement to the mother or to compensate the government for expenses it incurs for support paid to the mother.
On that note, some people start over in life. So in essense, yes, children ARE "car payments", or more accurately, "owed expenses" for the caregiver to continue costs to bring up a child. No-where is visitation ever "mandatory"; perhaps we can agree it should be - but in the meantime, it IS NOT, and doesn't deserve the scrutiny you give it.
Interesting, he was good enough to be a dad to pay for 2 sets of braces, eye doctors and trips when he had no obligation to - but not good enough to see the kids. Maybe he shows love from a distance - some split families work better that way.
This one, obviously.
The point is he's trying. So what if it's late? You say he has no interest, then he DOES have interest, but didn't have interest soon enough. Can this guy win any points with you?
Laura said:
I don't believe a step mother or step father's involvement should be so intrusive, in situations as this.
It's kind of hard, I suppose, to watch your new husband get verbally kicked all over the internet by a scorned ex-wife. Try looking his name up on a search engine, and you get this mess.
#131 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
I just would like to say Laura I do think it is awful that the father wants nothing to do with the child. Not the case here. I also would like to say you talk about attacking, well Sharon has done that numerous times to us and our family but that is okay? As for the kids I didn't attack as you would say I only stated my opinion about disrespect and the things they are allowed to say to "his side of the family".
I don't believe it is ever right to allow a child to disrespect an adult it is the parents responsibility to teach that it should be not allowed. Imagaine, we all ask why society is the way it is? The child support was requested to be taken out of his check this way there would be no problems and they would account for it and be the liason in this situation.
Yes, we could of send it ourselves but he chose that was the better way to go. As long as she receives her child support she doesn't care about the contact and why would he go to California when she stated on the phone if he did she would have her father send her a gun? Would any of you get on a plane make a trip after being told there would be a gun there? It should be apparent she will stop at nothing to make sure he never sees them or talks to them. One day it will go full circle later in life for them though. Then both sides will be completely told and they will have the decision to make up their own mind. Unfortunately, you can only beat your head against a wall for so long before you realize your hurting yourself and not getting through.
Have to go to work, hope you all have a nice day.
#132 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Lori - Kalkaska (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
I'm familliar with your ROR on Rob, and I know that you have no clue whats going to come of it. However, before you even get started, you might want to readjust your thinking on step-parents. Rob MAY at some point see Naomi, MAY at some point become married, and YOU will be stuck with it.
We have a tendency to defend what we know, which includes our husbands and their parenting. We also help out with the child that was born to the two of you as a couple. Whether we make meals, give baths, go for walks, or take them shopping, we're in there along side of our husbands, making it work. At this point, you have NO CLUE how difficult it is to work with an ex, especially where a child is concerned. If you nitpick, it's only going to be worse, and Rob's partner is surely going to be right there next to him.
A step parent can be a valuable ally (Hmmm, thats right, Laura, you're married to one, right?) when treated with respect. And believe me, Naomi will have a whole lot more respect for you when she's older. Ask my oldest daughter, who herself is now a step parent. She was raised to respect her stepmom, and now understands why I felt that was so important.
Kelly, stay true to yourself, defend what you know. While the children may never come around, at least you know what you did, why you did it, and sleep will always come easy.
#133 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kathy - Vernon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
I have been very busy the past few months and have had very little time to check out this blog. I cannot believe how the tables have turned here. I find it quite ironic that this blog was started by Sharon to humiliate Richard and Kelly and that certainly has back fired on her.
Sharon started this and emailed the link to Richard and Kelly to show them what she was doing. They (Kelly & Richard) would have never known about this because this was not a site the visited. So obviously Sharon wanted them to know that she was going to publicly bash them. She was not getting the satisfaction she wanted by calling their home. They stood united and that bothered to the point she felt she needed to bring in outsiders. Then she critizes people like myself for stepping and posting opinions which do not favor her.
I have read Laura's comments and she really needs to go to the beginning and read from the first blog on how this has all started and what has been said. I would like to ask on simple question here. "When is it too late to try and have contact?" Answer: NEVER. My guess is that Richard always wanted contact but was continuously denied and maybe he made a decision (I do not know this for fact) to really push the issue as they are now older and might be able to understand in a more mature fashion his side of the story. The kid's whole life has been mom's word is bible because they were not given the opportunity to hear dad's side.
Sharon had the ball in her court and could have encouraged not forced their children to write down their feelings if they were not comfortable about talking to Richard on the phone. A stamp is a minimal expense and the letter could have expressed their true feelings without them feeling uncomfortable by speaking with Richard on the phone. As for visitation never being stated in the divorce decree let's not forget child support was not in there either! Who had the children's interest at heart on either issue certainly not the County. Thank God the State of Connecticut puts the children before the parents because no divorce is given without the most important issue (The Children) is taken into consideration.
I find it interesting that when Sharon feels threaten by an opinion she draws her claws and tries her best to push the children further away rather than stopping all this and being the nurturing mother she claims to be. Mother's and Father's should protect their children and not want to cause any harm emotionally or phisically to them. Human nature is that we provide and protect. Sharon did not have to start this blog nor did she have to use speakerphone without Richard's consent. These are the kind of things she hase done that will continue to cause hurt on the kid's. Her comment about she does not lie to them she is always honest is a line of bull. I do not care how old or mature the kid's are one should never bash the other because in time it will come back around and bite back. Honesty is important but discretion is something Sharon was never taught and for that matter honesty was not either. We can all twist the story around to make one look better than the other. But really Richard definatley looks the best because he is not allowing himself bash or say harmful things in this blog.
As for Kelly being involved she has every right to step in and defend her husband. That is what you do when you love someone unconditionally. She has never denied that Richard owes money but the numbers do not add up and that will be determined in court.Which is where all this should have stayed. Kelly has every right to speak her mind right or wrong she is a partner in their marriage. Her offer of the money was soley to help her husband clear up and see his children because she knows first hand that all Sharon cares about is $$. By her offering the trip she thought it would be great and the children would have their mother with them for what could be a very uncomfortable meeting. She had no agenda here she was trying to use the money she inherited for something good but was refused without even so much as an explanation why. Their choice not to pay off the County has no bearing on Sharon they are the ones with Lien. Yes they could have sent some money to Sharon to catch up or get ahead but anger gets the best of us. Kelly lost someone who was very dear to her and she came from a divorced family and knows the pains a child feels. This trip was to try and reconnect her husband with his children. I wonder if the trip was set for Richard only and Sharon and the kid's would it have been accepted because according to Sharon Kelly has no right to be involved which would lead me to believe she feels the same way for her current husband. Richard and Kelly made a joint decision to try and reconcile with children. Would it make up for the absence the children felt all these years? NO! But it would have been an attempt that could have been promising. But once again Sharon controlled the situation and decided it was not in her best interest. We can all sit here and pass judgement and spin our own wheels. The bottom line is the children are missing out on knowing their biological father and are being spoon fed by their mother who claims to have their best interest at heart.
They will grow and mature and eventually will want to contact him I hope this opprotunity comes soon they are missing out on a great man. It is never too late to say I am sorry they are just entering another phase of their lives in which all can be shared. Graduation, College, Weddings, Births & so much more. Seventeen years is a long time but there is so much more time ahead and should not be wasted arguing who is a better person. Sharon do not deny them a chance encourage them it maybe hard but what do you have to loose? Isn't happiness what you really want for them? Or will the bitterness continue to live on?
Best of Luck,
#134 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Marie - COLTON (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
Some people seem to think that Richard needs to tell his side but I respect Richard for not responding.You forget Richard didn't start this blog and doesn't have to be apart of it. Maybe some people should see this as he respects his children and doesn't want to be in the middle of a public bashing.
Laura go back and read my last post I said that Richard needed to fix the relationship with his children that it is between them not Sharon. Not that she should put them on a plane I'm talking about now. Maybe if she would stay out of it they would be able to work things out. As it has already been said it is never to late.
Laura you are a bitter person. You wrote he took his "other" family on vacation as to imply that his child by Kelly is not allowed to have a good life. What happened to the statement whats best for the children does she not count should she suffer for the problems too.They are inocent children in a mess which apears to have happened out of bitterness from a woman that got scorned. This blog is proof of a woman that is out for revenge.
I pray for these children (all of them) that one day this will be resolved and relationships can be build.
MY OPINION
#135 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
These people just keep on attacking you and anyone else who agrees with you in any way.
To the critics: I have stated very clearly that I do not agree with Sharon's actions. I do believe I've also said that it is not best for a step parent to be so INTRUSIVE (Lori- that doesn't mean giving baths, shopping, talking, and so forth it means saying comments about the children that are hurtful TO THE CHILDREN, and speaking FOR Richard)
I don't agree with Sharon's actions. Most of them are what I would consider to be the wrong approach, but I am not her judge and jury.
I think this whole society thing about visitation not being achieveable is a joke. What are you all talking about? How come in my post well I need to "wake up to reality" and realize that my baby's daddy gets visitation and that I can't keep him from it,(even though that's never what I said I wanted) and here it's stated visitation is so very hard to actually achieve? Which is it people?
Richard had/has a responsability to get visitation EVEN IF IT TAKES 6 months to fight about it in court and actually achieve it.
Sharon, I personally think that most of the people on here are looking for a nickpicking fight about how wrong us mothers are for wanting anything.. as the saying goes.. your damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
You want support - your money hungry
You want a relationship between father and children- well then you must still have feelings for the father.
You want them to be responsible- Well what have YOU done. (and raising them doesn't count) They look beyond the simple facts and pin point mistakes mothers make along the way.
In my case, they are now saying my baby's daddy wanting to get involved with his daughter's life is a big mistake, because she has a "father" already. A father that has refused to adopt her, but ok a father just because he's my husband? So what they are saying is a piece of paper makes a father, but sperm does not. Logical?
Sharon:
Hardly anyone will be on the mother's side no matter what we say or do, so keep your head up, don't worry about the mistakes you've made, you cannot undo them, all you can do is learn from them and move forward.
It's not your fault Richard did not know his own children all their lives, and it's not the children's fault either, so don't ever put that on yourself, and make sure your children don't take that blame upon themselves either. I'm positive if Richard wanted, truly without a doubt wanted, a relationship with them, he could have had them whether you liked it or not. That is what we have court orders for. Not a perfect resolution to these matters, lengthy and drawn out processes yes, but resolution just the same.
You have made mistakes, Richard has made mistakes, everyone has made mistakes here, but the more everyone keeps digging up bones here the longer it will take for peace to be achieved.
#136 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
You said:
Laura you are a bitter person. You wrote he took his "other" family on vacation as to imply that his child by Kelly is not allowed to have a good life.
How in the world did you take that one word and twist it to mean that?!
I am not bitter at all Marie, I simply disagree with Richard's actions more than Sharon's. I disagree with both of their actions however, mostly I disagree with Kelly being so intrusive in the situation.
I do believe I read somewhere that Kelly and Richard have been married for some time now, as in years and years, so again I would ask, why now are they only interested in seeing those children? Why now? Why not 10 years ago? My personal opinion is if Kelly was such a good spouse always caring and concerned only for Richard's children, (and not her own benefit) then she would have been that way the day she met Richard, the day she married Richard, and not waited until the kids were late teenagers to get involved.
However, the issue I have the most problem with is the TYPE of involvement Kelly has. (not the actual involvement) You are all missing the point, and pin pointing mistakes Sharon made, and letting the mistakes Kelly and Richard make daily slide. Daily as in, he still doesn't know his children, but then again he never will as long as Kelly keeps bashing the kids and Sharon now will he? Look beyond the words and into the actions. Why would those kids who can make up their own minds now, ever want to go see Richard? Is that the way Kelly wants it? Just a suspicion I have.
#137 Employee
AUTHOR: Angie - Norfolk (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
Why would those kids want a relationship with their father? Because he is their father......
Just remember... Not everyword that has been said here is true.
#138 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Marie - COLTON (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
Laura you said
I do believe I've also said that it is not best for a step parent to be so INTRUSIVE.
Do you think when a person step parent or not a person who is attacked they are not going to speak up.
Laura you said
Sharon, I personally think that most of the people on here are looking for a nickpicking fight about how wrong us mothers are for wanting anything.. as the saying goes.. your damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
I am a mother and I take alot of crap for the sake of my children. I know hard times and sad time as many of you do but when you make your problems public you ask for advise & opinion so don't take it as picking a fight it is just simply our opinion.
When you take it this far as to set up a thread it apears to me the one looking for the fight is the one who started the blog.I can only understand a site like this if you are looking for a deadbeat dad or advising people of a smooth talker that will end up to be a deadbeat dad as on other blogs but to bash out of anger has nothing to do with people picking a fight on how wrong it is for a mom to want things that should be handled in court not on the internet.
Laura you said
I would ask, why now are they only interested in seeing those children? Why now? Why not 10 years ago?
Why not now you can't change the past if not now then when? Never? Now seems like a good time to start.
Kelly should not be the isue here she tries to help with money and she ends up the bad guy because she has motives? COME ON talk about damned if you do, and damned if you don't.For the record I am the ex wife and if I started something like this about my ex I would expect that his wife,mother,brother,sister and every other family member to get on and defend him that is what you do for family that is why most of us don't publicly bash our ex and forward the site to the family.What on this earth did you expect to happen Sharon.
Just for the record if my husband lost a parent and received money I would not expect for him to give me 50% just because we are married if they wanted me to have it they would have added my name to the will. Kelly did not have to offer anything but she did why can't that be a nice offer instead there is motive.I would not have offered it to start with so that makes me a real bad person.
I don't see where Sharon has gone out of here way to make things better. So everyone has made mistakes it is time to move on and try to make a better life for all with out hate & anger.Now would be a good time to start.
#139 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
Laura said:
I do believe I've also said that it is not best for a step parent to be so INTRUSIVE (Lori- that doesn't mean giving baths, shopping, talking, and so forth it means saying comments about the children that are hurtful TO THE CHILDREN, and speaking FOR Richard)
When did Kelly make comments about the children that are hurtful to the children? Back it up.
Laura said:
Richard had/has a responsability to get visitation EVEN IF IT TAKES 6 months to fight about it in court and actually achieve it.
Maybe he was busy looking for a job, which was already stated in this post. Perhaps he was being too busy being hung up on, or disgusted with immature phone calls between him and Sharon that she exposed to the kids on speakerphone. Or trying to figure out the fuzzy math. It has been stated several times that they tried to fly the kids out. They both have jobs and bought a house. I doubt they'd be a "flight risk". But they were never given THAT option either, at Sharon's own admission.
At what point is a man degraded by his ex-wife and kids that he wouldn't WANT involvement? Or is unlimited emotional and verbal abuse considered "her right", and the minute he gets fed up and tries to move forward with what is on his plate, he's called a "deadbeat" and "abandoner", among other things?
Laura said:
Sharon, I personally think that most of the people on here are looking for a nickpicking fight about how wrong us mothers are for wanting anything.. as the saying goes.. your damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
You could color the side of a two-story house in one swipe by painting with such a broad brush.
Nobody said mothers wanting something was wrong. Nobody said that mothers don't deserve support. Nobody even said that mothers don't "have it tougher". My beef was the entitlement issue with Sharon demanding Rich pay for half of whatever she decided to buy for the kids; that's not support, that's holding someone financially hostage. Or getting healthcare without using the benefits he was paying for them, so they could both save a dollar. My issue is that she accused him of being a deadbeat when he paid for years without issue, but then lost his job, got another one, and is still trying to pay, despite being called a "deadbeat". My issue is that Sharon lied about gifts, which turned out to be untrue.
But it's wrong for "us [you] mothers wanting anything"? Get over yourself.
Laura said:
in my case, they are now saying my baby's daddy wanting to get involved with his daughter's life is a big mistake
You said it was a big mistake, too, and that you learned from it. Until 8 days later when you changed your mind. But I'll keep that in your post, not here. What do we know? We're making judgement calls from a point of non-involvement. That could be good advice, coming from people who are emotionally detached to suggest a good decision. However, it doesn't endear you to seek advice and then insult those who give it. We don't live with the decisions. You do.
Laura said:
Hardly anyone will be on the mother's side no matter what we say or do, so keep your head up
Did you get a cake with frosting and some balloons for your Pity Party?
No, you're right. I don't take the "mother's side" when you use fuzzy math, pit the kids against the father, use insulting language, encourage the kids to be disrespectful, demanding unfair expenses, claiming to live "in poverty" when she has a new husband (yet it's all Rich's fault, right?), lying about gifts, celebrating someone's death, slandor, and using someone's full name on the internet in an attempt to discredit someone... yes, you lose a lot of credibility when you try your case in a public forum rather than privately in court.
Kelly rips on Sharon for being fat. Okay, that's lame, but it's not like Kelly was putting her name on a website for his family, co-workers, possible clients, strangers, friends or enemies to see, with links to ANOTHER website claiming the same thing. What's next? A billboard on Route 66 with his picture?
Look at the beginning of this thread. I "took the mother's side" initially. Go figure!
How about instead of making two websites slamming someone's character (justly OR unjustly!), they come to find a conclusion on their own? All I'm seeing is "Until the court date!!!". That doesn't give someone the impression that resolution is the goal here.
BUT there are plenty of reasons to consider it is money - Sharon adds it all up for you right here.
Laura said:
However, the issue I have the most problem with is the TYPE of involvement Kelly has.
What do you care? She's defending her entire family, not just her husband. Kelly at least has a first-party interest in defending her own family.
Laura said:
still doesn't know his children, but then again he never will as long as Kelly keeps bashing the kids
Again, back this up. Where did she bash the kids?
Laura said:
Why would those kids who can make up their own minds now, ever want to go see Richard? Is that the way Kelly wants it? Just a suspicion I have.
Did Sharon already say that she would not put them on a plane and send them? YES. Did she refuse a vacation? YES. The kids LIVE with Sharon. Sharon is dragging Rich through the mud. Therefore, to please their sole parent, they take pleasure in dragging dad through the mud too - not only are they not reprimanded, they are encouraged - Sharon even let them use her ROR account to post their insults. Yet it's Rich's fault that he can't "break through" all of that? Pfffft.
While Richard is not on the Top 10 list of people whom I most admire, he isn't on the bottom either. I do give him credit for continually trying, as evidenced by his payments, his offers, offering his info whenever he moved, and even his new wife. He obviously inspires her to try, which is more than I can say for most "ex's" I know, but Kelly hardly even gets a chance. "She is the new wife - totally unacceptable - automatic b!tch label slapped on her, and dismissed." Yet, she still tries.
If I had to put up with this pre-pubescent pencil-math, speakerphone number-changing quackery, I'd probably be an alcoholic.
So I ask you your own question, Laura: Why WOULD the kids who can make up their own mind WANT to go see Richard? They'd have to step out from behind "mom" and face what their cruel words and actions that they thought they'd be immune from have done. Well, let's not have that! That'd be teaching those kids CONSEQUENCES instead of how to blame someone, which I deduct Sharon has blamed Rich in front of those kids since they were born, as suggested in the above posts:
Sorry your birthday sucks, kids. It's Rich's fault.
Sorry you don't have thousands to spend on your school trip. It's Rich's fault.
Sorry you can't get contact lenses yet. It's Rich's fault.
#140 Employee
AUTHOR: Angie - Norfolk (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
Man you rock!!!!!
I tell ya, you are the only one here that has read every posting, I commend you for sticking in there.
I can only imagine your frustration as you rebutal to this blog....
I would like to say something for the record.... I Rich's sister am divorced and remarried, as is my first husband remarried... I have two children from my first one and two from the second....
I recieve child support everymonth without fail, He has insurance both dental and medical for my first two. He gives money for class trips, and money for Boy Scout camp.
None of this makes him a good parent. He lives a few towns away and unless the kids call him he doesn't call them, he picks them up only when they ask, ( They are 15 and 13 so they ask alot less now) He never once showed up unannounced just to take them for an ice cream. We have joint custody with me having physical custody, he has liberal visitation with no set schedule.
Not once in the 12 years we have been divorced have I ever bad mouthed him to them, not once. When he does not call for weeks at a tiem I do not make nasty comments,if asked by them I say he is probably busy, why don't we sit down and call.
Let me just say also that their step Mom and Step father are every bit involved in every thing that goes on in there lives, Does my husband get pissed off when he does not call them for weeks at a tiem yes..... Does he have a right to be pissed yes.... after all he is the one that has been helping tuck them in at night, he is the one that is with the boys when I am at work 12 hour shifts, at night, he has been to all the hospital trips, for staples in the head and stitches on the chin. x rays for all the spills off the skate boards. He also takes them out on the boat fishing and tubing all summer. Their Step Mom takes them to amusment parks and festivals in the area when their dad is out of town, and she takes them shopping for Mothers Day presents for me and even Fathers Day presents for my current husband.... DOes she have a right to have an opinion in their lives yes.....
On this blog however I would bet you all would think differently.
HAve we heard once from Sharon that her husband has any kind of relationship with these children, and if he does he has a say in their lives as does their step mom Kelly..........Kelly does at least try to purchase things ...there have been many boxes sent through the years that SHaron chooses to not remember.
Mothers like this give you an idea of how they find guests for the Maury show, and or Jerri Springer show.
What does anyone say about that?
#141 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Marie - COLTON (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
First
You said it all NICK. I think you and I are on the same page.
Second
When is the court date? I can't remember if it was stated and it's too much to read all over again
#142 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Elizabeth - Saint Charles (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
Laura,
"I've also said that it is not best for a step parent to be so INTRUSIVE (Lori- that doesn't mean giving baths, shopping, talking, and so forth it means saying comments about the children that are hurtful TO THE CHILDREN, and speaking FOR Richard)"
Yes it is a step-parents job to be involved. She is a step-PARENT. It is her job to parent these children. That is the commitment you make when you marry someone with children. Saying that these children are rude and disrespectful is nothing more than what we have all said. It is true. I can't really say its all their fault if they were raised to believe its okay to talk to their parent this way but hopefully they will eventually learn respect. Kelly is well within her right as a step-parent to step in here. She is also well within her right to defend her husband.
My ex-husband went thru a very personal but awful custody battle with his ex-wife. For reasons some her and some beyond her control she was unable to be a good mother to the children. Do you think I stood by and allowed her to attack him over and over and never said a word? Do you think I didn't step in and raise those children and encourage them to change the wild behavior she had allowed? Of course I did, any parent should.
"You want support - your money hungry"
No, that's not true at all. I want support as do most single parents. Money hungry comes in when you abuse the system to profit from having your children. There is some question as to whether Sharon has done this or not.
"You want a relationship between father and children- well then you must still have feelings for the father."
No, not true either. I very much want a relationship between my children and their father and I strongly encourage it. It has been said about you because of the WAY you talk about your child's father not because you want the child involved in his life.
"It's not your fault Richard did not know his own children all their lives"
We don't know that as fact. That issue is in great debate on this thread and there is evidence to dispute this.
"Sharon, I personally think that most of the people on here are looking for a nickpicking fight about how wrong us mothers are for wanting anything.. as the saying goes.. your damned if you do, and damned if you don't."
Well the difference here is that Sharon chooses to air her dirty laundry on a public forum and not give all the facts. Sharon chooses to bash her children's father with the whole world to watch and encourages her children to do so as well. The only thing that appears to be desired on this is to bash Richard in as public a way as possible and encourage the rest of us to do the same. I for one choose to look at ALL the facts and not give an opinion based on my tainted views.
#143 Employee
AUTHOR: Angie - Norfolk (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
The Court Date is Tues June 6th.... Of course this date has changed about 6 times since the blog was started.... we will see....
I can't wait for it all to be over with....
For the court to find a middle ground or at least a closure to this whoel ugly mess.... maybe then I the Aunt will be allowed or worthy (depending on which posting you read)of contact with my niece and nephew.
#144 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 02, 2006
I guess no matter what I say is good enough and no matter what I do is good enough for some of you. Hey, you are entitled to your own opinions as I am entitled to mine. I have repeated myself like a broken record it feels like over and over. I have encouraged contact, why after being from a divorced family myself would I do otherwise? The past is the past. Although, I have stated many times that he tried to have contact but some are reading and hearing what they want to. I appreciate the others who see both sides and can remain objective. The court date is next week and I am sure Sharon will make a big showing then. Like a grand entry into all of this, as she stated she started it and will finish it. My question to her is at what expense? (not monetary either) Rich has been told the children don't want to speak with him, not to call the house and I know maybe he should still try but at what point do you come to the conclusion it's not going to happen? After all these years maybe? The last conversation ended with gun talk and he told her he knew if he was to call she would try to get him for harrassment (she stated that to him on the phone) What good would he do anyone if he got arrested or ended up in jail? Should a person risk losing a job once again or better yet stepping into the state of CA and possibly face a gun? These questions are for the people who keep saying he hasn't been there. They should have no problem answering. They have no problem making assumptions that I am now part of the cause. Why would I do that? I love my husband and my family with all my heart, why would I do something to cause him further pain and all children involved? Yes, I do have every right to be involved in this ?blog? she shouldn't have sent it to my e-mail if she didn't want feedback. I have every right to defend my family and my husband. Rich will not respond as of yet due to the fact he feels it will be settled in court, not on some website. I am a mother also and have protective instincts and when it comes to my family I will defend them as I feel necessary rather than watch us being slung all over the internet. Sharon is refraining till after court which is fine but I do know she reads all this so here it is. Did this really solve anything? The same problems that you say are there haven't gone away, if anything it made things worse. My take on the whole thing is that while you may be bitter and looking out for the kids best interest you wanted to make sure they saw all the nasty things about their father (which again I will mention aka sperm donor to them for years) posted for everyone to see. I still don't understand how that helps them? I am not even going to go any further tonight(due to the fact the anger and frustration that I have along with added from Rich, this will only get nasty) and as one said take the high road at this point for now. That doesn't mean the road doesn't have curves and bumps along the way.
Have a good night
#145 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, June 03, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, June 03, 2006
There is no objectiveness here Kelly, everyone you are saying thank you for being "objective" to is on YOUR side. The people that lean more for the mother you talk down to, and make them feel like they are idiots for not seeing it YOUR way. I'm just glad I don't have to live with you. Poor Richard.
I am not on anyone's side. I just can see the mother's pain, and issues with this situation is all. However, I have stated and stated some more that I DISAGREE with Sharon's actions. I also disagree with Kelly's and Richard's actions for not knowing the children. How many times do I have to say it?
Nick unlike you, I try my best to write my own words not just copy and paste everything and write tiny sentences. SO to answer your question about Kelly.. Go back and read the previous posts. She calls the mother names constantly, talks down to Stephanie, talks an awful lot about money, (ie. I like to shop - bragging to Sharon?)gifts she sent..She sent? Why not Richard and I.. or Richard sent them to the kids? (but apparently everyone fails to see that part) You have to look closely as she hides her true feelings (ie. I've had him for 13 years, and something along the lines of, he was screwing other people when he was with you anyways so it wasn't that good..um jealousy?) in between her statements of truth and points which tends to make sense by the time she's done, and then everyone forgets the cruelty she's already stated because she's made a point, and usually a good one.
It appears whenever she feels the need to bring up something even worse (to keep people on her side here?) she does.. such as being bi-polar, or a gun. Well everyone will agree with her then right?
She talks down to Stephanie, trying to "disapline them" over the internet?! Stephanie is 17 and whenever her birthday is she WILL BE AN ADULT.
So therefore the whole I'm the adult and children shouldn't talk to adults that way thing really doesn't apply at that point. All she is looking for IS a fight. She's sly about it yes, but people eventually see it her way, as all of you have already.
That is what Sharon is dealing with, and that is what you are all failing to see. (so what her "math" didn't add up at one point, maybe she didn't have the court papers right in front of her, and she was guessing for approx.) She even felt the need to put them all available for everyone to see so she wouldn't speak falsely as people jump on her for making a mistake in math.
I can show you when I have the time what it is I speak of about Kelly. I will copy and paste all of these things to "prove" my issue with Kelly's intentions. Until then, just go read it for yourself with an open mind this time, and really be OBJECTIVE.
I am not saying Sharon is right.. by no means.. She is wrong on a lot of her actions... and at FIRST I was also against her, remember that.
But absolutely NOTHING you say Kelly can make me see it YOUR way until those kids KNOW their father, or at least until actions are taken by him/you to get visitation at least in place.
Richard needs to file for visitation, even if he doesn't have time and is looking for a job or otherwise.. who said that.. Nick? Oh ok.. your right, he's to busy looking for a job to file for visitation.. that's a good enough reason to not be a parent?
If he needs help, maybe his loving wife Kelly can spend more of her time filling out the paperwork so Richard CAN actually see his own children, (since that's what he & kelly want so badly to actually happen. They are just blowing smoke at this point with those words, there are no actions behind those words.) rather than Kelly saying you fat this and you fat that, why don't you.. what was it Kelly .. keep your trap shut was it? And then turn around in the next breath and say she loves her family? Those are Richards children! They are a part of your family too. Whether you like it or not.
Why not protect them as well from Sharon, since in your opinion she is such a bad person? Or does your motherly instints stop with your own child?.
I believe when all else failed she said.. It all makes sense and started in on Sharon being bi-polar was it? Or was it an alcoholic.. or maybe it was BOTH. You also attacked her husband as well, alcoholic, and pill popping calm her/him down ect. ect. ect. Those people you are talking to that way raised Richard's kids.. remember that.
I believe even at one point Kelly also stated how happy she was for the "silence" no phone calls, no emails.. then she gets on here and starts it all up again by saying she's glad for the silence from Sharon? Why?
You all are NOT seeing the bigger picture here. That's just my opinion.
#146 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Marie - COLTON (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, June 03, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, June 03, 2006
It doesn't matter who sent the gifts the fact that the gifts were sent matter.It doesn't matter that his wages were garnished the child support was paid. Stop reading more into it then what it really is.
I have read what Kelly wrote and I can see that she has hit a deadend with Sharon. Laura, stop reading between the lines and pay attention to what Kelly is saying.
When Kelly and Richard try to have a relationship with the children it is questioned as to why now? Yet if they don't try is why not? so which is it.I don't know about the rest of you but it seems to me that they will never come out in the good in some peoples eyes. They are not perfect but then none of us are so why not except the fact that effort has been made and stop picking every attempt apart.
I have looked very closely and have yet to see that Kelly is at all jealous of Sharon.This is only my opinion, but I think you are way off on that statement.
Kelly no matter how hard it is to read all of this don't let it get to you. You know the person that you are and none of this will change that, Keep your head up. Not everyone is against you or Richard.
Have a great weekend
#147 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, June 03, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, June 03, 2006
After all of this, what has been accomplished-
I have been accused of so much by people who don't know me personally, and you know who you are.
For the Santerre family who didn't have contact all of these years you only have yourselves to blame. Richard has always known how to get a hold of me. You didn't try when the kids were small and now that they are old enough they don't want it.
Keep your 20k Kelly, nice offer but no I wouldn't take it. Richard is responsible not you, besides I can't take the lien off of the house. He lied to the child support division, got caught and that is the consequence.
Your family vacation, the kids didn't want it. They wanted to meet Richard here in CA (no they don't call him dad, becasue he has never been one). He refused so there was no vacation get over it. For those who think my family should have taken the vacation, you are more then welcome to take our place.
As far as the gifts go, way to late in their lives, and that is according to the kids! They received gifts back in 1995 (armstong puppy dog for Steven and some shirts, back in 2004 Stefanie received a pair of shoes and some clothes and 40.00 for her Washington DC trip, mp3 players back at Thanksgiving 2005, and in February 2006 a box of motorcycle stuff for Steven, and clothes for Stefanie) THAT IS IT!! This is what they have received as far as gifts go. Everyone can make their own judgments.
He only pays child support because he is forced to do so. He doesn't send anything extra except for the "GIFTS".
As I have stated before I do have a bio up and it is accurate, I have all of the court papers and I show up for the court and actually fill out the paperwork. Richard doesn't, that is his problem not mine. If he feels screwed by the system he only has his inability to respond to court papers to blame. He can't blame me. I bargained with him once, will not do it again. I forgave 46,901.00.
He has never exercised his visitation rights, that is his problem not mine. Now he can work with his kids, give them a call at home, you have the phone number, if they talk to you they do, if they don't you only have yourself to blame.
This is the court order that is in effect right now with Monterey County:
Child support set at:
Stefanie 355.00
Steven
593.00
Total--948.00 per month beginning Jan. 15, 2006.
*Notice: any party required to pay child support must pay interest on overdue amount at the legal rate, which is currently 10% per year.
The court further orders any uncovered medical, dental (including orthodonita) and/or optical expense shall be shared equally between the parents pursuant to the health care costs and reimbursement procedures set forth in family code section 4063 effective 1/15/2006.
The Amount owed on current medical is 237.53 which remains unpaid by him even though I have sent all the receipts (copies). The last billing was returned to me, I sent it return receipt becasue he states that he never received it in the first place. Yes you did.
When we go to court on Tuesday, the issue at hand is unpaid back medical. From June 1, 1999-December 31, 2005 principal 3653.50 plus 1464.79 total 5411.26. That is the only thing before the court. Legally, the money is to be paid back, period. He can fight it all that he wants to there is nothing that he can do.
Make all the threats you like Kelly, Angie, Michael, Vanessa and the rest of the family. You only have Richard to blame for your inability to have contact with the children, not me, but if you insist on blaming me go ahead.
Hope that you all live long happy and healthly lives. My family and my husbands family just had two very big occassions in our lives, something that the kids didn't want Richard's side of the family to participate in. Steven is now a Freshmen in high school and Stefanie graduated from High School yesturday and is going on to college.
This ends the blog. Have a very nice life.
#148 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kathy - Vernon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, June 04, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, June 04, 2006
I am amazed by how this whole blog is turning out. We can all agree that nothing has been accomplished by all the bashing here. I hope Richard continues making contact whether it be telephone or via mail. He should not give up nor should Kelly step back. She should continue emotionally supporting HER HUSBAND! She should not butt out at all she is a partner in her marriage and what affects her husband affects her too. She has a child in this family with Richard which is a half sister to Sharon & Ricahrds children. This will affect her too and she has a right to know her half brother & sister. Has that been thought of during all this bashing?
Money is what started this blog and the court NOT Sharon will determine what is ACTUALLY owed. Then what? There is to be no contact pay up and go on with your lives. I do not think so Sharon has the upper hand with the children right now and her influence is what it is no one can change that. With or without visitation. These children will want to hear Richard's side one day and Sharon will not be able to manipulate them.
If the children did not want to go on the vacation to see their father then how is it they would see him if he went to California. The trip to Vegas was also, so Kelly could take care of her father's estate so it made perfect sense to combine the trip and would have been cost effective. After all the money was willed to her not her and Richard. But seeing as they are a couple Kelly and Richard agreed together that all could benefit even Sharon. But I guess if they had just sent the money to Sharon none of this would have happened right? WRONG let's not fool ourselves into thinking that would have ended all the years of hatred.
Why travel across the United States to have the door slammed in his face. That would be a very expensive trip to be disrespected. Heck he can be direspected for free via internet and telephone. No wonder he does not answer on the blog. He will have his say in Court on Tuesday in private because that is what this matter should have been.
Sharon was looking to make a spectacle of her children's pain and she has succeeded. I do not feel bad for her one bit she opened the door to outsiders. As I said before I feel for ALL the children involved. They are innocent in the sense that they had no control over how the adults act. Great example on showing forgiovness and compassion. I could care less who agrees with what on this blog facts are facts and we all read the same words our interpretations are different but that is what makes the world go round.
I do know Richard and I can tell you he is a great father to his daughter with Kelly he loving and caring. My children adore him and enjoy going out with their family it is always a great time and lots of laughs. Memories they will have forever. Someday his other children will have the chance to know him and love him for who he is not what others say or think about him. They are getting older and will be able to see that. Sharon did what she felt was rtight and whether any of us agrees they were her choices not ours.
We can all learn alot from this blog. Right or wrong everyone is entitled to their opinions.
I know foir fact this will not be the end of this blog as I have heard this before. It may die down for a while but it is certainly not over as I am sure we can all agree.
Best of luck GOD knows it is needed!
Kelly, Richard, Angie, Mike, Vanessa & Mrs. Santerre. You all deserve to be known for caring people you are. I am so happy to see the family uniting on this cause and you will benefit from this.
As for all three children keep in mind you are all family too and when the time is right you too can get to know one another.
Sharon,
Once the Court has settled on the final figure and money is not the object will this be over then? I will leave that for you to answer. I have a pretty good idea what the answer is and I think everyone else here can figure that out. Maybe another Blog? New website? I am sure you will keep all posted.
#149 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, June 04, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, June 04, 2006
Sharon started this blog, Sharon ended this blog, and WHO keeps it going? Yes, sounds to me like definetely it's Sharon causing the hornets nest here for sure now.. Right? WRONG.
Ahh more people happy about the silence, who come on here to talk about how happy they are about the silence, ("I've heard that before")and how it's not over (till THEY all say it's over apparently)
The only thing that last post did for me at all was make me feel that much more positive that if it doesn't benefit Kelly it just doesn't happen. (aka the "vacation")Which we all just found out from Kathy wasn't a vacation after all, but a trip they were going on anyway, not for the kids, but so that Kelly could go collect on her money. (FYI the same thing Sharon is doing by going to court) Interesting facts.
Sharon the only thing these people are doing is poking and prodding at you until they get a good and upset Sharon saying things they can use against you. (possibly in court) Don't take the bait. Good luck with all of this, it would drive me crazy to have to deal with people like that on a daily basis.
All the best -
#150 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Phyllis - Midlothian (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, June 04, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, June 04, 2006
I got a headache just reading everyone's responses. So much hate! I wish I could give y'all a crystal ball to see the future. Anger gets you no where except hate and that hate will reflect upon your kids.
#151 Employee
AUTHOR: Angie - Norfolk (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, June 05, 2006
POSTED: Monday, June 05, 2006
Laura you have alot to learn, since when is being an only child having to close your dead father's life and home called "collect on your father".. Closing an estate is a very big responsibility, and it took many trips to accomplish. You have to close an estate period. Life insurance is a different matter. Kelly is an only child... and this burden/responsibility fell on her shoulders.... Combining a trip of neccisity and pleasure would have made this a better experience all together. Especially when those kinds of wounds are fresh, would have been very benifical to all. After all when you experience a loss that was as sudden as this was for her do you realize how precious life is....
But I have to sit back and think a bitter person and you are a bitter person, would think the worst of any situation......
One last thought to ponder here....Nick you will like this question......
If Richard had started this blog and say started it by "Sharon the money grubbing B@#$% es wife of mine..blah blah blah.... WOuld you all have been this supportive of him......??????
Remember ladies and gentlemen there is alwasy two sides to every story...... ANd in our life time we will never know the whole truth here.....
I think those of you who have read the entire blog and see both sides are the only fair minded people out there..... Because those that have read and quoted both sides have made positive and negative comment about both sides..... YOu on the other hand Laura simpley want to be a one side narrow minded.... well I better go before I say some thing nasty here.....
#152 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, June 05, 2006
POSTED: Monday, June 05, 2006
First off - the main reason why I say what I say is you all keep right on proving me right. I come on here just as anyone else, and being as I am the only one that will give Sharon any sort of hope, or encouraging words, you all start attacking me as well. I have said a million times I am not on Sharon's side. I say it how I see it just like all the posters do. And yes I got a headache too reading all of the bashing from one side to the next, and back again.
I never said "collect on her father" I said collect on her money. There is a BIG difference. I understand an estate, and collecting on it.
Maybe it's just me, but I remember when my father died, it was such a heartbreaking time in my life, I couldn't even deal with getting up the next day let alone taking care of my 4 year old daughter at the time. I would not think that would be a logical time to have such a big issue as my husband meeting his children to deal with as well. A loving husband would need to be there to simply support his wife at a time like that. Having children (especially teenagers) meet their father in the middle of such an emotional time doesn't seem like an appropriate time for them. I am sorry for Kelly's, and the family's loss, and I can relate to her feelings with it.
Trust me Angie, I know all to well the value of life. I would never disrespect the feelings of death of family members, or friends. If I said something along those lines at all, I am sorry for saying them, it doesn't seem like me to do something that heartless. I will make sure and re-read what I said.
I see both sides as well. I said time and time again my opinion is Sharon's actions were wrong. I said time and time again my opinion is Kelly's actions were wrong. I have said time and time again my opinion is Richard actions are wrong for not knowing his children.
Yes, I did ask why now about wanting to know his children, but I didn't say I didn't agree with now, I was just wondering why after all these years does he say he wants to see them, and yet not set up any sort of visitation to do so. It just sounds like those are empty words, or at the very least on someone else's terms. It is a power struggle between mother and step mother, and as far as I'm concerned neither of them are thinking about the children's feelings in the middle of such a battle.
Should Richard fly to California just to get a door slammed in his face? NO. Should he file for visitation, and have his children come see him? Yes.
No Sharon should not put her opinion of their father on them. NO that is wrong in every way on all counts.
Peace is what everyone should be focusing on, and it seems that is the least of anyone's concern. As far as I'm concerned you are all acting like high school girls fighting over he said, she said things, instead of being mature adults working towards resolution for those children to find some peace.
Your side of the family has labled me already as bitter, to discredit my words without even knowing anything about me. When I said things that were not very pleasant to Sharon about her actions, and mistakes, she did not come on here and start attacking me, she again stated facts to me, thanked me for the reply, and left well enough alone. I just see something different in your family when I say anything possitive to Sharon, you all attack me, like you attack her. That is why I believe you all have some serious growing up to do before you even begin to fathem the magnitude of the pain you are causing to all three of Richard's children.
I have not seen one of the people involved try to make it right. I have not seen one single person step up and say I'm sorry, how can I make it right for Stephanie, and Steven.
THAT is why I feel the way I feel. I am just an outsider looking in, and saying what I feel would help this become a thing of the past. Think of it what you will.
#153 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, June 05, 2006
POSTED: Monday, June 05, 2006
Angie, one sided, and narrow minded? Bitter? Why are you calling me names? Since you apparently have not read what I've actually said I will copy and paste it for you to show you just how "narrow minded" I am. Your right.. I am narrow minded.. My only concern is for those children.
By the way.. I should not have to come onto a forum where a mother is taking the father to court and start defending myself from his family, for expressing my own opinion, that is just silly, and petty.
People come onto public forums to express their opinion of the situation, not to get into a fight over the internet. You take what advice you can take, and throw out the rest, not lash out at people in anger. But again that is just MY opinion.
Copy and Paste:
Kelly, Absolutely the kids are the MOST important without question, without a doubt. Remember that the next time you start talking trash ABOUT THEM.
if visitation would have been achieved when those kids were young, then wouldn't they know their father, and would we really be arguing about this at all?
I have never said I agree with Sharon's behavior with their father, (in fact I've stated the opposite) only that she may be only interested in money now, BECAUSE a relationship was never established to begin with, between father and children.
You cannot seriously think that Richard not knowing his own children is Sharon's fault
All of you should have insisted via a court to get visitation rights in place, but none of you did. Have you ever heard of grandparental rights, or visitation rights? Sharon would not have had any rights to keep the kids away from any of you had Richard went to court and filed for visitation.
I think the only reason it is about money with Sharon anymore is simply because she feels that Richard has vacated his emotional responsability to the children many many years ago.
I'm not taking away my original statement that I still feel Sharon is being unreasonable
Please take into consideration that her children are not small. We are not talking about children that are toddlers, we ARE talking about children that have their own minds, and can make up their own minds about their own father.
Who's side am I on? I believe I am concerned about these children, not who is right, or who is wrong.. This whole situation is WRONG. Do you know why? Because NOBODY is thinking about these kids, they are only thinking about themselves. Just once, STOP and THINK about the children. Swallow your pride, call it a day, and work SOMETHING out for the benefit of these children.
But what do I know, I am just one person. Although I do have a good relationship with all three of my living children.
Kelly, I apologize to you, I am a stranger with limited information, and I did make a hasty conclusions about your intentions, without knowing facts, for that I am sorry. I am sorry I could not be of more help to you.
Sharon, I apologize to you also, as I am a stranger and do not have those daily feelings after all these years of raising those precious children Richard and you created together without the other parent present. I am certain that would be difficult, and I'm sorry I could not be of more help to you.
I do understand feelings of death, trust me. It is because I've lost so many people that were my life, my heart, and my soul, that I can say this petty nonsense that you are all creating within the family is not necessary. Just think, what if one of you was gone tomorrow? How would you like your last words on earth to read.. you this and that.. to another human being? We are all eventually accountable (to a higher court than what is here on this earth)
I wish you all the best- however, I prefer peace in my life, as life is to precious for this behavior -
Out -
#154 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, June 05, 2006
POSTED: Monday, June 05, 2006
Laura, I never said we are entirely right, I have only explained or tried what we this side of the family has lived through. Have we done things wrong, sure everyone does. But what I have said is true about him trying for years maybe not Sharon's way but the effort was there.
I just am really confused to the point that she doesn't want my money but if it would have been what she wanted , she still would have denied it? I don't think so. This whole thing started over him losing a job and granted the child support stopped along with our family having financial problems. She and the kids just didn't suffer, it was a no win situation. Again, I never said he didn't owe child support but he is not what they classify as a deadbeat. That is what this whole thing was about to bash him and state what a deadbeat dad he is.
Anyone who says the child are suffering which we all have said is the real problem. The hatred has spread among us all. I didn't say it was right. There is a lot of years that have gone by to build this anger and frustration up. There is many nights of repeated calls that amounted to nothing. Going down a road that eventually was just washed out with no repair. That is sad. She has just as much hatred for us. But I will tell you that hers is a love/hate relationship with Rich and others see that.
When the calls did go good for a while he was talking with the kids and then Sharon got what I feel threatened and maybe jealous so she made sure to find a way to stop it.
I did offer the vacation and I did have unfinished business there but that doesn't mean it wasn't a genuine offer does it? No, it wasn't a good time in my life and I still live with it every day but I thought giving the gift of family was a good way to self-heal and heal others. Again, to get slapped in the face over and over gets old after a while. Yes, I am bitter and I will be the first one to step up and agree.
Do you think I like to hear which I am not going to quote word for word because I am not going to take an hour to look for it on this. His daughter stating the fact that herself and my daughter will get pregnant and then leave that is a sad thing to say and that to me shows she has lived all the years of hatred and resentment. Do you think I want that influence on my daughter right away? Would you on yours? Look what your living through. I will not ever stop Rich from having a relationship from his other children, I am not that type of person. I have been through personal experiences and know first hand. Fortunately, later in life I could read between the lines and develop a close relationship once again with my father and then he passed away. I hope that someday the children do want to get to know him but with negative influence every chance that will live on for a long time. Even though Stephanie is an adult as some would say, it is not right to cloud her judgement whether he was right or wrong. The anger and resentment has to be put aside by the adult and it never was. Our role is to protect and some definitions of protect are different than others. I am not saying he should be a god but he shouldn't be a piece of dirt either.
I don't expect anyone to agree with my opinions, yes maybe his family or my friends because they have had first hand experience to live this roller coaster ride that never ends. The only time it ends is when any money is involved. Then it only starts back up, its only a matter of time. I have lived this and I know.
This is not an easy thing to stand by and watch either. So yes, I will defend him every chance I get. Yes, I am the children's step-mother but that term is used very loosely and the first time I was referred to as that was after Christmas time. It was nothing to do with presents or anything like that. It was when Sharon called and Stefanie was upset and she made her get on the phone with me and I then yelled at Sharon for doing so. It wasn't fair to put Stephanie in that position. She surely didn't want to talk to me but her mother kept raising her voice in the backround to tell me what was wrong. It was about the comment nothing was left in California for him. He meant when his marriage ended and she wouldn't let him see Stephanie at all he came back to his family. Not that he didn't love her or think of her (Stephanie) but his life had been torn away and his child was gone he had felt. He called and spoke with her about that comment and explained he said it wrong and was so sorry. Sharon wasn't much help, she fed that fire. Another mark against Rich. He felt horrible but if she is the adult that is said shouldn't she have understood that things come out differently sometimes. Not saying it wouldn't be hurtful but it certainly wasn't meant that way and being an adult means reading a little more into it and seeing things more clearly. You can't drive down a foggy road at night with sunglasses on and I am sorry at her age, 17 she doesn't understand everything. Especially, when she has lived and was raised by her mother for all those years. Her mothers word is going to mean more than anyone else right now.
Her closing statement in her blog says it all they just had two very big occasions and the children didn't want any of his family involved. That should say it all. Again, she didn't even try to suggest or support any of us, his family being involved. That comment has lived on for the past years, she would never support Rich being involved with the children at all.
Hope you all have a good night. The closing statement says it all. I repeat never has there been any support of Rich wanting to know or have contact along with his family. She stated all there. If it is this way now, what would make the past so different? Especially, in the past we all know it takes time for wounds to heal. Some don't ever heal.
Sharon, you can say you're happy now with your husband and that is great but why all the repeated phone calls night after night. Why did you feel the need to talk to him about your marriage and all? Don't get me wrong I don't care. What I really think of you. I will not go any further at this time it is not necessary.
#155 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, June 06, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, June 06, 2006
So maybe it was waaaaay too negative.
The irony here is that yes, Sharon starts it, Sharon finishes it. Does this blog now go away? No. If you type up Richards name on Google or Yahoo, will it bring up this website? YES. This is NOT going away. So just because Sharon is "done with it" doesn't mean Richard isn't going to feel the consequences of the site later. Even if it IS true, it's a pretty rotten thing to do. Happy people don't create multiple smear websites. But I guess you proved your point.
Last thing I want to know: Did Rich get an invitation to his daughters graduation? I heard that he missed out on it, but did he get invited?
#156 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, June 06, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, June 06, 2006
FYI
Court was just adjourned due to the fact that Sharon who has provided all this info on this blog couldn't get the paperwork right for the third time. She can't fill in the blanks properly after told so the second time. Much like her accounting and fuzzy math. My big question here is how many times should the kids have to go through this and the constant talk about court dates. Isn't this doing more damage to the kids whose best interest she is out for? At this point, has this really helped the children at all?
Nick, no Rich never received anything about graduation. When he inquired about it months ago that is when he was threatened he would be met with a shotgun. Was that considered a formal invite?
I am sure Sharon will be on to tell her tale later about how the court system isn't fair or how once again it must be Rich's fault she can't fill out paperwork properly. So all those she is guiding I hope they have better luck.
More reply to follow..... Rich will post shortly..
#157 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: C - Vernon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, June 07, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Kelly - not sure why you think criticism of the incomplete paperwork is acting as an mature adult. If Rich was paying the support as originally required by the courts, she wouldn't need to file any paperwork now, correct? Obvioulsy there is culpabilty on both sides, but please act as an adult.
#158 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Sue - WOODBRIDGEv (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 08, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 08, 2006
Dear Kelly,
What on earth are you doing with a man that doesn't pay child support or support his children? Dear..... children don't eat once a year they eat every day several times a day. Did you ever think about what this says about you as a woman, mother, human being that you would entertain the company of a man that doesn't take care of his children? Do you also understand why he is with you? Honey he is with you because you provide him a safe haven to ignore his responsiblites. A woman with class would tell this dead beat to hit the road. Yet you continue to put a roof over his head and treat him like he needs a mommy! Obviously you were not taught to look at the Character of a man before you get involved him. The true sad part about all this is that he is using you too and you can't even see that.
A real woman would tell him to get out and take care of his children! In my book you are just as bad as him. Kharma is a terrible thing. It will come around a get you too for harboring a criminial. And that is what he is like it or not.
Real women with self esteem don't take any dog off the street. They want men who are men. Men who work ..men who are stable.... and men who provide and care for their children. If you have any children with this mean ..SHAMEFUL! I suppose your children deserve more then other children out on this world UGH?
I think you need your head checked. He got his self a sugar mama...you won't be the first and you won't be the last. Damn I wish I could someone to take care of me!
S~
#159 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Elizabeth - Saint Charles (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 08, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 08, 2006
Sue,
You seem to be speaking out of turn here. I'm thinking you maybe didn't read all of the postings and get the whole picture. Rich is NOT a deadbeat dad. Rich paid child support faithfully for many years. Rich lost his job. Rich got behind but then began paying again once he found a new job. Kelly is not helping Rich skip out on his responsibilities (my opinion).
I think you need to gather all of the facts before you start blasting someone. I also think you owe Kelly an apology.
#160 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kathy - Vernon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 08, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 08, 2006
Sue,
Did you read this whole blog? Richard has been paying and working. The issue here is about medical bills that once again Sharon did not have all the paperwork together as she has claimed. Read the whole Blog not bits and pieces. Kelly is by no means a sugar mama.
Sharon,
What happened? According to you and the previous comments you have made you had everything together regarding paperwork. Remember way back when you claimed Richard had copies of everything and so did the court. Does not appear that was the case at all. Are you just trying to drag this out longer. Get the paperwork together so this can be in the past and all parties involved can move forward. Why not rectify the situation and put all the bad behind and move forward to a more peaceful life. Come on we have all said and done things we were wrong in saying and doing. Bury the hachet now and move on to a more harmonious life is that what everyone wants? If the money is owed to you then pull it all together if you are entitled to reimbursment don't you want to start seeing the $$?
This has been going on in this blog since March and what has been solved or proven????
#161 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 08, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 08, 2006
Nothing has been solved and nothing has been proven in my opinion. Ok Sue, I have to comment about your irrational comments also. I do not believe Kelly is a "sugar mama" by no means.
Calling people names does not usually bring forth production, nor does it achieve results. Rather it brings forth hate, and really doesn't make a point that means much of anything to anyone.
Kelly has been in this relationship with Richard for 13+ years if I'm not mistaken. That certainly entitles her to at least an opinion about the situation. Especially after all the things that have gone on for so many years that directly involves her home life. I do applaude Kelly actually if what she says is true that she tried to stay out of it for many years. I can see why she is involved at this juncture. I believe I would also be as well if I were in her shoes.
I am disappointed, and frustrated, personally about Kelly's comments made directly to Stefanie on this site, that is my major problem with Kelly's behavior. Not to mention all the name calling, however that can be contributed to both sides. However, I'm certain after re-reading and re-reading this thread that this is the problem... BUT It's JUST MY opinion.
Sharon hun, I'm sorry girl, but you seem to be obsessed with this man. That is not healthy. Calling him at all hours of the night to talk about unrelated issues does lead one to think that your intentions are not pure, or for your chlidren. Some of them probably are. You are a mother, so that does come into play with emotions. However, your feelings for Richard probably fluctuate, and after so many years I think it's developed into more of a love-hate feeling. Be honest - Am I right?
Sharon, what's up with this whole court thing? Did you guys go to court? So, what happened? I've seen Kelly's post, and although it's a tad on the spiteful (or ha ha) side, I would have to ask also, what is going on with getting this put in the past in court? I thought that's what you were aiming for? Did something change?
Update this so we know your version of things also please. Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm voicing my opinion again.. sorry. We are all entitled to it right?
#162 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 09, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 09, 2006
Laura my first husband beat me and took off for 19 years, moved from place to place to aviod his kids, they grew up never hearing that, not their business. I made sure their needs were met. To define their father by their mothers opinion solely, she put a call on a speaker phone PURPOSELY for those children to hear, KNOWING something mean or rotten was gonna be said , I get that by reading her blog, why don't you and Sharon give Rich and inch , kelly and Rich are married now, there was no reason to post this public blog OTHER THAN TO ATTACK those childrens father AGAIN, and in a place where by her own admission her kids read, as for as the 17 year old almost being an adult, PHOOEY! she swears at adults and her mother enjoys it as long as it makes her the VICTIM of Rich. I suspect that Sharon is jealous of kelly. Over and over again I have stated to kelly the wieght comments are uncalled or and just keep it rolling, however, I was curious about "calls from Jenny craig" I called their national number and they do not harass people by phone on someone elses word, if they called once and Sharon told them it was my husbands new wife please don't call again, they wouldn't.So i think the Jenny Craig calls are "fluff" for Sharon to say against kelly, my husband now for 23 years has been my childrens father, and he said there are NO step in my house, you are all my children and i can say thank GOD i found that man , becuase we have a child together thats 10 and he never treated those kids any ess his than his own, so yes KELLY as WELL as Sharons husband do come into play, Kelly has rights as Riches wife, so big deal she had to go to vegas anyways to settle her fathers estate, i for one think she was trying when sheoffered up her inheritance at least they did try, but Sharon refused to give them that too, and the remark about the car if they gave him one with 30.000 miles on it , shows exactly where sharons head is, she did not start this blog, to help her children over their hatred ( largely fed by her) read her post carefully, she is too conflicting, and she herself says she wouldn't let them see the kids anyways , so why try to fly all the way out there so she can have the satisfaction of slamming the door in their face, in front of the kids, then be the hero again, it is NEVER too late to repair relationships with your kids, and I think if Sharon wasn't so negative about him and kelly , that alot of that animosity would be gone with them, to put them on speaker phone then, BLAME RICH for saying something that they heard , he broke their heart etc, She accepts no responsibility for putting it on speaker phone.Poor Sharon had to see the pained look in her face a look SHE HERSELF put there when she made the decision to put that call on speaker phone, I don't, however, think that that remark was called for , someone JUST DIED and I just lost my dad, so I know what she went through as far as her dads estate, they HAVE to be taken care of, no crime in wanting to see RICHES children while they were at it.
We ourselves had to pay MY exe's
support becuase I got ill, and my mother collected state support for them since Mike wasn't paying and I was in the hospital healing,WE VOLUNTARILY HAD MY CHECKS GARNISHED so yes, you can have them do it that way , most people do these days becuase it is easier to have the money come off the top.So that could be voluntary, on their part.
Gifts are gifts as i stated before, and she has no right to demand cash and i would still like to know why she has them sent to HER at her work, seems to me like they should go to the house.
Laura by her own admission in this blog she giives credit to Rich adn Kelly never once. They have tried andi feel for Angie , no reason for those kids to hate her or Dianne becuase their mommy hates them, If Sharon hates you , her kids will too, and putting this up here, with all her conflicting stories has lost her credibility.
We went from no gifts to some gifts as recently as Thanksgiving last year, mp3's are not that cheap either, I might add, and instead of a thankyou they got well it took 3 months!I wonder Sharon, when your children receive these gifts you hate so much , do you teach your children manners? Don't you think since they accepted the gifts, a email of THANKYOU FOR THE MP'S would have been in order.Not one member of Rich's family has stated that he doesn't owe you support but yet you keep bashing him, I just hope the anger and hatred you have instilled in your children against their fathers family can someday be undone. Sounds to me Sharon that your kids aren't thinking for "themselves" they are mimiking YOUR HATRED and allowing a child to swear or not say thankyou for a gift they received from them and kept is not teaching them to be responsible adults, oh and did it feel good not to include Rich or Kelly in HIS daughters graduation?! how about HIS family, Grandma and aunt?! Why hate them? Oh, beucase you want them too right.Because you want ot hURT them, and basically for no reason you posted this site making people think your were this poor little waif who just wanted support for her kids, you played it off good no cards no gifts etc, then the truth started to rear it's ugly head and those of is who really had DEADBEAT exes and felt for you, looked at our lives without support and their father trying just once in 19 years to see them but didn't, for fear he would be arressted for not paying me, well you lost my sympathy right there, life was hard as a single mom, and I have sympathey for those who are trying for no other reason than the health, well being, and survival for her children. It is wrong of you to alienate Riches whole family, becuase when you get to the bottom of the barrel the guy YOU loved didn't work out, and he has found happiness with someone else( suppossedly you have too) you are out to make him hurt as he has made YOU hurt.so, you use the only wepaon you have left ot hurt him and thtas his kids, and HIS family. Gonna punish them too Sharon becuase Rich loves kelly , you YOURSELF have admitted to harassing phone calls and thats every bit as wrong of you as it is Kelly and the weight thing.Sharon please re read these posts, you have ot see it as we do, you come off here by your own blogs basically saying no matter what Rich or Kelly try to do is not "good enough" for you. You had medical he paid for and yet chose to make him pay in full, I don't think he owes you that, that was for hurting him purposes only, and I would have been grateful if my kids bio dad sent a card.Especially if he had medical on them already, So why don't you look past your resentment and see that those kids need to respect their father and other adults and make them say thankyou or give back the gifts.The gift thing out of you kills me, you act like gifts are OWED to you, and when you get them you snot them.The gifts I suspect, could be gold and you would find a way to put Rich and kelly down for it. that too is evident in your own words.Some of us went without child support and why is it okay for your husband ( a STEP!) to have control of your kids?Why doesn't kelly have the same right to be concerned as he does?!She is afterall, their step mother. As much as he is their step father. had you been truthful about things you didn't cop to until they CAME out, and you had to explain them then. YOU NOT ONCE OFFERED INFORMATION AS TO 9 years of faithful support, and no gifts to some gifts etc. I think most of the problem here is you, you can't stand the thought of Rich ahppy with kelly therefore you are going to use your own kids and HURT them in the prcess for revenge toys!Telling your child to that it is okay to express yourself by swearing at any adult, is immature and not a good parenting skill either, my kid talked like that to anyone and his mouth would be spoitting soap for a week, my child speaks with respect to people.ALL my kids do.That is completely wrong you can disguise the wrong of it by saying they have the right to express themselves, but shouldn't YOU as their MOTHER have taught them that swearing at people is not how you handle things?Should YOU, their MOTHER have taght them that they should say thakyou dad for the gifts and i bet from the second they get a card or gift you start looking for a way to put it and Rich and Kelly down, Kelly and your husbadn have rights too as step parents, so respect her place in their lives as you respect your husbadns, she tried to give you money, they tried ot see the kids YOU by YOUR OWN SAY SO SAID IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN, You want this to go on, thats why you posted this, and I think you should tell yourkids that they ARE loved by their dad, and his parents and brothers, sisters, and their OWN sister that resides with their dad and kelly too.ONE parent has no right to bash on the other and thats exactly what you do, his attempts to see the kids or his family's attempts have been derailed BY YOU not them.You would rather your kids think their father doesn't love them becuase if you talk about him the way you do here, it is clear YOU WANT THEM TO HATE HIm Iam calling it by your own words her Sharon, I felt bad for you after the first posting, then as things unraveled themselves and you had to admit the things you PURPOSELY LEFT OUT to make Rich and Kelly LOOK bad, i found you less credible your postings are filled with contradictions, I want them to do this and that for the kids, then you say you wouldn't let them so which is it? I think you prefer the hatred and having those kids grow up hearing that annimosity, is teaching them that thats the proper way to behave in these situations.I also know you are exaggeating the jenny craig calls they do not have ot solict they explained ot me they advertise on t.v.and through word of mouth, but not becuase, they are in cohoots with kelly to call you and torture you.When your kids are all grown Sharon then what will you harass Rich for then, this was about support ,you are now getting it? Now don't you think you could say ONE NICE THING ABOUT THEIR DAD TO THEM or do you want them to feel unloved by their dad and thats why you do stuff like bash him on this blog.makes you the hero well my mom always loved me, of course you do, but YOU are USING them as a way to hurt people, and you encourage that hatred,maybe you should ask yourself is this all becuase I have issues with Rich and Kelly?Or did I post this to really help someone?If you did it to help other women you could have fooled me,it has been a santerre family bashing ,and i bbet you pull it up for those kids to read as well, shame on you. Their welfare is at stake, their emotions, and no matter what went on between you and Rich , your husband or kelly, none of you should be bashing the other parent or encouraging the kids to do it either. what a mess.
A NOTE TO ANGIE I am glad Dianne is doing better I know how upsetting that can be iam a granmother, , please keep me posted about her, I can't imagine what it is like for her not tohave access to her own grandkids...You all have missed out on so much especially sharons kids....My best to your family, and for the kids sake I truly hope this cn all be worked out that Sharon will acknowledge what they do do for the kids, some of us had exex that didn't do anything and we had alot of explaining to od, but never once did I ever tell my children their father beat me on the critical list, and thats why I left, he hit me, not them, and it was becuase of them I left him, I am no ones punching bag.Neither are my children and if he hit me he would certainly one day hit them, it could be worse Sharon, so give a little credit where it is due, and kelly stated she just now found out that he never got he helmet, kelly and Rich since the helmet is such a big thing why not go buy another one and send it to him, he obviously is looking forward to it, do it for him not her. For Rich's son not sharon. try not to let sharon interferre with your trying and send them to the house return receipt so she can't say he didn't get a gift.....my best to all of you
#163 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Dianne - Ocala (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 09, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 09, 2006
This is Sharon's ex mother in law.
I have tired not to comment on this site. I did post once but then posted no more.
It has come to the time that I will share with you what kind of a lier Sharon is.
First off the first Christmas we sent lots and lots of presents to Stef, and also $250 cash to
to Rich and Sharon.
Now mind you that 16 years ago and to my thinking that was a lot of moeny then.
We received back a video where Sharon and her grandmother were complaining we sent way too
much stuff and that the child would never be able to play with all of it.
Never even a thank you from Sharon.
Not evem a Christmas card.
But again the next year we tried again.
The second Christmas we flew Sharon, Rich and Stef from Ca to CT for a wonderful Christmas.
There were lots of presents for all.
Cost us more than $2,00 for that little thing.
Still, again, not a thank you in person or a card later.
Third Christmas Sharon and Rich were seperated, but my husband and I decided to still send
stuff for Stef.
I am a seamstress, so I made a couple of handmade bathrobes along with nightgowns.
I also sent toys including Barbie dolls and etc.
Again not a thank you or even a phone call to tell us she received the stuff.
Now I ask you, would anyone do any more for Sharon? We felt we were slapped in face each time she took from us and never
even said thank you.
Over the years I have heard from Sharon only when she wanted me to get Rich to send extra money.
Like money under the table when she was on state aid.
She did have a son, who we never even got a picture of until last Christmas.
In fact in all the times Sharon called me it was as if the boy never exited.
We asked for pictures but none were forth coming.
Sharon did send over the year maybe 2 pictures of Stef and the last one being when she was about 3 or
4 years old.
Why was it Sharon, that you never even told us anything about your son?????
As for Stef she has turned into a little Sharon.
By that I mean a mean vindictive girl.
When she found out that my husband, her grand father died.
He words to her father were, " I hope he died a horrific painful death."
Now to you Stef ( I know you read this blog)
When your grand mother died did I say anything bad to you.
No our family is not like that.
But little girl what goes around comes around.
And you had better learn that pretty soon.
Your grand mother decided to tear her family apart and divorced your grand father.
She had decided that there were more men out there she just had to have.
Well, after she spent all her money from her divorce they sure left her quick.
As I said what goes around comes around.
She died ALONE, kind of seems fitting to me. don't you think?
I have washed my hands of all of you as you have our family.
I have 6 other loving and caring grand children. Who I now
focus my love and attention on.
As for Sharon, get over Rich.
DON'T YOU THINK IT IS TIME TO LET OF RICH AND GET ON
WITH YOUR OWN LIFE.
tHIS BOG OF YOURS IS ONLY TO CASE HATE.
Maybe you should have your Honor student daughter,
fill out your paper work for court as you sure do
not seem to be capable of doing it.
How hard is it to FILL IN THE BLANKS.
Or is it that you do not want to really go to court
and get this stuff settled once and for all?
#164 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, June 10, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, June 10, 2006
Laura-There has been progress made. The child support has finally been brought up to what the guidelines are and he will be held legally responsible for paying half of the uncovered medical cost for the kids, for years he was given a break and he knows it. This is retro back till Jan. 15, 2006 (yes I do have a copy of the order, it came in the mail yesturday). Unfortunately, the child support division is so back loaded the office didn't receive the paperwork to put it into the system until 6/8/2006. So it has taken three month for the paper to make it from the courthouse to the child support office. It will be uploaded with the corrected amounts, and the corrected amounts on what he is behind on. I have appreciated your opinions and questions. Although we don't agree, you don't come out attacking. The court date that we just had was for uncovered medical costs that he owes back from 1999-2005. I made a mistake in the paperwork, which is being corrected and will get taken care of.
I will continue to fight for what legally belongs to my children. He quits his job again, a luxury that most people don't have, I will do the same thing again. I was taught to be responsible for any and all actions that I make. I have also taught that to my children.
Kelly- thanks so much for the weight loss calls the night before court. 6 calls in all!! Stefanie and Steven appreciated picking up the phone, I wonder, does this make you Step-Mother of the year???
Richard-You are a deadbeat, and irresponsible. Your mother (thanks Dianne for the wonderful speach on my daughter, sure makes her want to meet you) is a bitter old women who obviously didn't raise a man, but an irresponsible little boy who wasn't taught to take care of his respontibilities as a man when it comes to making children. You can best beleive that Steven will not end up like you. When he makes a mistake or does something wrong, he knows as a young man he is to take responsibility for his actions and that there are consequences to every action. As the judge said you will be paying long after the children turn 18.
No, you weren't invited to Stefanie's graduation. That is something you will have to live with, and you know the reasons why.
For the rest of the people who have participated in this blog, you opinions and thoughts have been read and appreciated. For those who made no attempt over the years to know the children you only have yourselves and Richard to blame for that.
This is the end of the postings from me. I have other work that needs to be done. Take care of each other, be nice, and live long healthy lives.
#165 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Don - Sandy (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, June 10, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, June 10, 2006
I've read most, but not all, of your comments. But having been on the "other side" and been accused of being a "dead-beat" Dad, I know from experience that what you see on the surface is not necessarily the same as what's actually going on below.
If the guy truly is a 'dead-beat' and is as 'bad' as you portray - may he get what he deserves.
On the other hand, if you're some kind of vicious, vindictive monster who what's nothing less than his head on a platter - may you get what you deserve!
(I have to reflect back on one comment you made, where you said that he was only paying what the court had ordered!??
Sometimes that not enough, sometimes it's way too much? - What do you want?
Somewhere in the middle is where the truth is found!
#166 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, June 10, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, June 10, 2006
Anyone who has actually dealt with the support enforcement office knows how incredibly slow and incredibly uncarring they are with each case.
It sounds to me like things are moving along just fine with the case, and yes Richard will be paying long after the children are 18.
It also sounds to me that the grandmother is so mean I wouldn't want my kids to know her either. You cannot say and do things according to Sharon's actions or "she didn't say thank you" were the gifts for Sharon? or for Stefanie? I thought you said you bought and sent gifts for Stefanie, (a three year old at the time) and yet you lay blame? Stefanie was a child, your grandchild to boot.
Since it was so important for you to receive a thank you maybe you should have sent a card along with the gifts that said I EXPECT a thank you Sharon. Or is she just supposed to know that is what you wanted? Christmas time is a hard time for anyone, especially with children on a low budget to begin with. I'm sorry but Sharon never said thank you so I stopped sending Christmas gifts to Stefanie,(your own grandchild!) means you are a terrible grandmother.
You'll only be a grandmother if the parents DO EXACTLY what you want in return? What kind of a person are you!? Shame on you for saying those things about and to Stefanie! I don't know who raised you, but I was raised that you give NOT expecting anything in return, you send a gift because you WANT to, not because you want something back. Your terms or NO terms?
I would not want my children to meet that woman either, and it is unlike me to say that, as I am very family oriented. What is Stefanie supposed to learn from that woman? How to be vendictive and mean.. Well, you all came on here attacking Sharon for being that way, so now I would think you would call out that grandmother HELLO GRANDMOTHER who said those awful nasty things to HER GRANDDAUGHTER. I cannot believe the hate she has!
I have always been taught to respect my elders, so I cannot say what I truly think about that grandmother's remarks. But I'll tell you right now, I am so incredibly angry at those remarks. That was uncalled for. I don't care what that little girl (young woman) said, NOTHING gives you the right to throw an innocent child away. NOTHING. She's caught in the middle of this whole thing, and you are all treating her so terribly. She's a kid, kids say stupid things, let it go. She may be reacing adulthood by her age, but her mind is still that of a teenager, and you all know what that is like. Put yourself in HER shoes for once, and back off of an innocent child.
I certainly hope that Stefanie does not read that. That would break anyone's heart being thrown away like that, but a 17 yr old girl who is just beginning her journey in life, doesn't need to wake up tomorrow feeling like her grandmother threw her away yesterday. How terrible.
Sharon, all the best of luck to you.
Stefanie: I know I'm a stranger to you, but my heart goes out to you. These people are full of hate, and resentment. They threw you away when Rich and your mom seperated. That is something they will have to be held accountable for at the end of their lifetime in the presence of an almighty power, know that, and let God be their judge. You my dear, have a beautiful life, full of love, and joy, and try to put all of those feelings off of you each time they come to you. You made no mistake. They are the adults, therefore, they are the ones responsible. You don't need to take ANY blame for their feelings, or actions. You have the right (as we all do) to the pursuit of happiness. You will achieve it, that I'm sure. Congratulations on graduating! I hope my daughter will be as amazing as you in her journey. Make no mistake about it, you are on the right path. Now go chase your dreams girl!
May God bless each step you take.
#167 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Alpine (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, June 11, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, June 11, 2006
I have read much of the stuff on here & here is my own opinion.
To Sharon: I think Rich & Kelly have made you crazy.
To Kelly: Are you Rich's wife or a 2nd Mommy to him? Make him fight this battle that he started when he left California because there wasn't anything there for him (Hello.. 2 kids were there DUH!!!)
To Rich: If you really wanted to see your kids & wanted a relationship with them you would have found a way. NOTHING & NOBODY would keep me away from my kids.
To Rich's MOM: Why don't you ask your son for a thank you card??? Why was it up to Sharon.
To Nick & Ruth: You two busy boddies have way to much time on your hands... Get a hobby
To Rich's sister: Is Rich so fragile that you couldnt press on him a lil harder for an address or phone number?
MY guess is that Rich is a deadbeat wimp that wears girlie panties while he has Kelly & his family fight his battles!!!
I could go on forever about the stuff on this blog but it would'nt change things so, I'm jumping off this bandwagon.
P.S. My name is also Kelly but obviously I'm not Rich's wife. (THANK GOD!!)
#168 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, June 13, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Kelly said:
Nick, no Rich never received anything about graduation. When he inquired about it months ago that is when he was threatened he would be met with a shotgun. Was that considered a formal invite?
Sounds like either way, he'd end up wearing a tuxedo.
C. From Vernon:
Kelly - not sure why you think criticism of the incomplete paperwork is acting as an mature adult.
Actually, considering the amazing accounting practices on this here website, I'm surprised it wasn't ready to go. But moreso, it's the main reason why this blog continues.
Sue from Woodbridge... Uhm...
Dianne:
I hope you are doing better. I read your post, and wish you the best.
Sharon:
No, you weren't invited to Stefanie's graduation. That is something you will have to live with, and you know the reasons why.
Like maybe one reason was that they weren't invited? A shotgun, perhaps? I'm can't speak for Kelly or Richard. But I'd sleep okay at night. Why? Because I wouldn't have to think that whatever gift I gave them would a)not be acknowledged by a thank you note, b) ridiculued on the internet for all the world to see and c) being accused of manipulating a situation after leaving a mess. Never mind that they'd have to keep their mouth shut against any accusations, under-the-breath comments and snide blasphemous remarks reagarding the God of Child Support.
Sharon:
When he makes a mistake or does something wrong, he knows as a young man he is to take responsibility for his actions and that there are consequences to every action.
And when someone does something wrong to him, you can be sure he has learned well that threats, anger, name-calling and the courtroom will be the best way to handle the situation. I applaud your contribution to society.
I know many of you are "all about the kids". And Stefanie and Steven can have all the opinions they want. We've had a good sampling of respecting elders here. But sorry, when a kid mouths off to an adult, the adult has the right (duty even!) to respond accordingly.
But these are not "kids". They are near-adults who have been hidden from NOTHING, and in Sharon's case, purposefully EXPOSED (one sided of course) to the tragedy that IS divorce. Look, Sharon even invited them to help her build her other child support website by her own admission. Nothing like "keeping it fair". With an upbringing like that, I wouldn't want to meet my dad either.
Laura, by your request, I'm not copying/pasting your words. But you know, I don't care what the situation is - A thank you note for a gift is common courtesty. A sign of respect, if nothing else, to teach kids to go out of their way to say thanks for a gift. Even if it is not appreciated, it is still an expected norm. I thought everyone knew that.
Their grandmother didn't throw her away. She washed her hands of the situation. It might be a lesson for ol' Stef to realize that you can't go out into the world and take back hateful words. I won't go into it, but despite your own respect for elders, you still take the side of the kids. What's the difference? Even YOU said "kids say stupid things, let it go". Well, not all people are as forgiving as you. Other people tending to not be forgiving: teachers, bosses, etc.
The kids' realization (or perceived reality) is that Rich is a terrible guy. I don't suppose it has been suggested that HE threw the kids away too! Or was he truly "given an opportunity" to know his kids without an obvious taint (learned hatred) during their upbringing? My god, everyone is throwing the kids away, except for good ol' mom, who keeps track of every cent and gift, and woefully shields them from anything that would be different than her bitter view of an entire family.
The astonishing part is that she has thus far succeeded. Not to worry, the kids will one day figure it out.
Am I to believe that the kids received a gift and mom tells them "Your dad sent you something, you might not like it, but he's trying to show he loves you - the correct thing is to send him a thank you letter"...
OR "What a stupid, inappropriate, late, pointless or obselete gift, well, what did you expect from a DEADBEAT?!"
Based on the fact that the latter has been pontificated on this website, and the obvious point that the kids read (and post) here that they have seen mom's feelings, and they are likely to emulate that. What a sad display of championing one parent over another. Congratulations. Your kids are pawns, Sharon, and you've done a great job of making it that way. Not Rich's inaction, YOUR actions.
I think perhaps that the only thing EVERYONE can agree on is that Kelly from ALPINE is a million times better than everyone else.
#169 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 15, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 15, 2006
I didn't realize you expected a three year old to write a thank you letter for a gift sent, no. (the two years prior she spoke of, Richard was still with Sharon, just long enough to have a son, he's never met, yes?)
However, the grandmother was not expecting a thank you from the child, (that she sent the gifts to) but was stated she blamed Sharon for the lack of a thank you. (all three years.. huh? What about Richard saying thank you, for two of those three years?) I suppose in c/o Stefanie at that age. Yet, Stefanie was treated like she was Sharon instead of Stefanie (a completely seperate individual I might add) I belive "a little Sharon" or something along those lines?
All of them have already made their minds up about these kids. They haven't heard anything from Steven, so they have nothing to throw in his face yet, but she (grandma) sure was daring him to say something wasn't she. What a massive amount of hate. Steven seems to be wiser then any of them put together.
So, if Sharon would have JUST said thank you to the grandmother when the child was three years old, then all would be fine today? Come on. Her not saying thank you (from whichever person) was her "excuse" for not sending anymore gifts after Richard left the situation and moved back home.
What she should try however, is honesty. If Richard would have remained with Sharon, and would have still been married to Sharon today, would those children be receiving gifts from grandma today? Of course they would be.. So that was just an excuse to make grandma feel better about HER actions. (or lack thereof)
I thought Richard would be posting soon? What happened there Kelly?
And one more thing - What kind of a father a FATHER!!!! would allow his own mother to come on here, and talk so badly about HIS own child, and not say something to her in HIS OWN daughter's defense? Nick what kind of a father are you, to not see at least that much wrong with what was said? (or unsaid at this point)
#170 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 15, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 15, 2006
Nick - I do see where you are coming from.(sometimes)
Sharon does use the kids as pawns. I agree with that statement on some level. I do not agree with Sharon's actions when it comes to her kids' involvement with this situation. However, Stefanie is NOT Sharon. Stefanie should NOT have to take on the blunt of the repercussions for her mother's actions.
I'm sorry Nick but what is the difference between washing her hands of the situation and throwing her away exactly? Her words were cruel no matter how you sugar coat them.
I am viewing Richard as throwing his kids away too? Your right Nick, I'm sure the kids did have so much fun last week on their visitation days with their father. I'm also sure the father could have found out about the graduation if he so chose to do so. Met with a shotgun? Hello anyone heard of LAWS.
Nick- I did not request for you to not copy and paste my words - maybe you should read more carefully before you assume, and state as factual.
This situation is messed up on more than one level. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be one stand up person willing to put any statement people have said aside for any sort of compromise, or result for the children's happiness. That I find to be petty, and sad.
Forgiveness is the beginning. I don't know about you, but I sure wouldn't want to live my life with a heart full of hate, and resentment. I also would contribute Stefanie's feelings on the situation, as an emulation of not only her mother yes, but also her family members that have "washed their hands of the situation." You can wash your hands all you want to with a situation as this, it doesn't make it clean when this is the end result.
#171 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 15, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 15, 2006
First of all, I am not a busy body with too much time on my hands, Sharon wrote this report in a public forum and JUST LIKE YOU ACCUSED Nick and I of, you interjected your busy body self yourself didn't ya?
Second of all 3-4 year olds are quite capable of saying thankyou and for anyone that agrees that receiving a gift from someone and not taking a second to say one word THANKYOU is disrespectful and RUDE! What about when they got older and got the other cards and gifts that Sharon claims aren't good enough, can't they speak and say thankyou as a teenager?
I don't blame Grandma for washing her hands , Sharon has taught her children to swear, be disrespectful, and rude as well, and as for that poor innocent little girl, she has quite a mouth on her.NOTHING RICH OR KELLY OR RICHE'S FAMILY DOES IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR SHARON and as the previous poster said she has sucessfully made the pawns in her hate daddy game.I wouldn't buy a gift and take all the time to shop for the right one, for ungrateful kids whose mother doesn't know how to teach them manners but yet they accept those gifts don't they?
My children ALL of them at 3 were made to call people who thought of them and if they accepted the gift , then they HAD to say thankyou. I can only imagine what that womans kids are like that justified that one.
Sharon made this a public forum and has been less than truthful about numerous things.
When it is convient for the kids to be kids, thats fine, but when they swear they are considered adult enough to hear all the crap their mother says and does pertaining to their father and his family. GRANDMA AND ANGIE TRIED TO KEEP IN CONTACT AND SHARON interjected herself in there to make sure that didn't happen and they hated Rich and his family, becuase she has the only thing left to hurt Rich and his family with, and thats the kids, the father and grandparents should have been invited to graduation, that was just another stab to hurt them again using the kids. Sharon raised , disrespectful , swearing, rude children and has sucessfully encouraged them to hate their own father for no other reason than she does. That is evident by her website and this blog.
I would rather my kids have a woman like Dianne in their life than a hateful, spiteful, revenge seeking, person like Sharon, and for the person who called me a busy body, did you read he post where Sharon said Dianne can't see or contact the kids becuase she called her a B**ch and then Sharon turned around on this site and did the same to her?! Diane gets punsihed for it but it is okay for Sharon. Sharon started this blog by lying, making it sound like Rich took off and was dodging his responsibilities as a father, until it was pried out of her, she then had to admit instead of no gifts, and support, support was paid fathfully for 9 years, and there were gifts.
There were never any thankyous to those people for the things they sent, in fact poor little Sharon tore everything apart they tried to do.Whether you like the gift or not a thankyou is all that is asked, then Sharon since she could teach her kids to swear, can surely teach them to say thankyou, they accepted the money and gifts though didn't they? THEREFORE THEY OWE THOSE PEOPLE A THANKYOU.
Sharon how many harrassing phone calls have you made?! Do you remember a prior post where you admitted calling them late at night?Okay for you again, but not for them,I think you fluff this kelly weight thing, as I said Jenny Craig does not harrass people becuase kelly calls them and tells them too. Why don't you tell us about YOUR harrassing phone calls to Rich and his family that had nothing to do with support or the kids?!You are a hateful, spiteful woman and you are just out to hurt these people and you did not do your kids any favors either by making them hate their own flesh and blood, that was clear when it was posted you sent this site out to all of them so they could ADMIRE your latest handiwork.
Diane: do not let that poster who seems to think it is okay to accept gifts and not say thankyou get to you, if you tried to send gifts over and over and no thankyous were received, well I don't blame you for not bothering either, thats just rude and ungrateful, Sharon by this post seems rude and ungrateful,and she has made sure she has passed that on to her children.
I am sure Sharon is no innocent victim, sitting there doing nothing but putting her hands in her lap when it comes to insults, notice she never mentions what SHE SAYS TO KELLY OR RICH , it is always thanks kelly for the weight comments, but Sharon are your comments to Kelly all peaches and cream?! when it comes to her, I don't think so, I think you do your fair share of dishing it out and you just want all of us to think you are a poor little waif being picked on by mean old Kelly.
so, your children are children when it comes to manners they don't have, they are just kids, but when it is convient for you, when they swear and insult adults , then they are adult enough to speak their mind, you play both hands in this game Sharon, you started this by lies, no support , no gifts, no contact, the we find out attempts were made but not to YOUR specification, and I cannot understand the drive of hatred you have to involve those kids/adults , whichever they happen to be today , depending on the situation, you must be a really mean and spiteful person to pass that hatred down so well, no Sharon I do not think you are so innocent in fact, you have proven that YOU DO LIE , just re read your postings and if you didn't want to hear all this, then maybe you should have Thought twice before you let YOUR HATRED AND YOUR NEED TO HURT THIS FAMILY PROMPT YOU TO PUT THIS IN A PUBLIC FORUM.
I hope someday when your kids are really grown they get to know Rich and Kelly and realize that you made them hate them becuase YOU do and for no other reason, you can hide behind support issues and gifts and blah , blah , blah , but bottom line is you can't help but make trouble, you LIKE IT WHEN YOUR KIDS SIDE WITH YOU, AND YOU ENJOY IT THAT THEY HATE RICH AND HIS FAMILY, I WILL REPEAT ONCE AGAIN, YOU SHOULD NEVER PASSED YOUR HATRED OF THEIR FATHER OR KELLY OR THIER OWN SISTER ON DOWN TO THEM.THEY AREN'T MAKING THEIR OWN DECISIONS YOUR MAKING THEM FOR THEM.You have tught them to be mean to their grandparents and family so YOU get satisfaction of knowing you did a great job in making them hate these people, It is my opinion you still love Rich, and you resent he is happily married to someone and not you, I think you do this becuase you want to make them miserable becuase you are, and using his kids is a perfect outlet for that,Rich hurt you by not loving you anymore and you are paying him back by making his children hate him , thats really sad Sharon someday you may pass on and they may need their dad.You have ruined that for all of them.Accept it Sharon, Rich is not in love with you anymore, he loves kelly , built a family and that kills you, ( it should be you he is happy with and loves,but its not) becuase there is a very fine line between love and hate, and my guess is you hate him, becuase you love him and he won't love you back, and seeing him happy with Kelly and their child kills you.Please quit making it sound like you sit on your couch reading your bible and kelly is insulting you and you just take it , judging from your posts , you engage your mouth as well, and YOU can't let go of Rich and thats what this boils down to.LET GO OF HIM SHARON, AND TRULY LOVE YOUR HUSBAND THEY WAY HE DESERVES TO BE LOVED. UNLESS YOU LIKE BEING MISERABLE.
Angie, Rich, Kelly, Dianne: I wish you all the best, even if some people can't see her lies and omissions on this post, some of us can and I believe she starts most of this stuff becuase she can't let go of Rich, and Kelly and their child is in the way, and if anyone voices an opinion on here that favors you, we are are busy bodies, but I noticed that busy body had time on her/his hands to post thier opinion.....
#172 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 16, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 16, 2006
Frist of all, let me say that the internet is a wonderful tool. One can express your opinions, thoughts, and feelings. That is what a blog is.
Diane is talking about gifts that Stefanie received when she was 2 and we were back there for Christmas. I did tell her and Dick thank you repeatedly, and my daughter, when we were back, there did say "Thank you" as a child of 2 can. I guess that wasn't enough for Dianne, and Richard also said thank you. The video, the only video that was taken was at her house. I wanted parts edited out because I didn't want my grandfather to see me smoking a cigarette.
Let me set this one last thing straight. People on here are so concerned about Richard's mom. Stefanie never NEVER NEVER (can this be read) received any package from Dianne or Dick (Richard's parents) after we seperated. Can everyone read this.
The whole time after we split, the only things that was sent was a stretch armstrong dog (for Steven ever wonder what is inside one of those things, I can tell you), and some shirts back in 1995. In 2004 Richard and Kelly sent a $40.00 money order some shirts and shoes for Stefanie. Thanksgiving 2005 the kids were sent MP3 players. In February 2006 a package arrived for Steven and Stefanie containing the motorcycle stuff for Steven and clothes for Stefanie. That is it!!! There is nothing to read between the lines.
The whole time that I lived at my parents house from 1991-1994 the kids never received anything from the Santerre side of the family. I started back to school in 1992 when Steven was 5 months old, I was home before the mail came at 11:30 am everyday so I should know. Richard's side of the family will tell everyone that packages and cards were sent, THEY NEVER WERE. FOR THOSE WHO DIDN'T GET THE LAST SENTENCE, NO PACKAGES OR CARDS WERE EVER RECEIVED WHEN THE CHILDREN AND I LIVED AT MY PARENTS. On Chistmas 1991, no package from his parents and he never showed up to see his daughter on the agreed upon date and time, I was still pregnant with Steven.
Here is the current support, Filed 3/6/2006, Richard is to pay $948.00 (done by guidelines) and medical is to be split 50/50. Again, I have sent the medical bills and the receipts to him and the Department of Child Support Services.
Every month when I bill him for the medical I will also send the exact same thing to the Child Support Department. The uncovered medical from 1999-2005 is being worked on and will get settled.
#173 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 16, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 16, 2006
So seems to me Sharon was more than willing for Richard to come around and see his kids, even when they were young. (or unborn) Yet here we are what some 15 years later and it's all Sharon's fault Richard does not have a relationship with his own children? No it's not her fault. She has made mistakes which you all have jumped on, but the truth of the matter is it is Richard's OWN choice to turn his back on his kids then. It seems to be their choice to emulate HIS actions towards him now.
You and I can disagree with Sharon's actions all day long but nothing changes the fact that if Richard WOULD have shown up and actually TRIED to have a relationship with HIS OWN children things just MAY be different today.
I don't care what mistakes Sharon or any of them have made throughout the years, NOTHING and NOBODY should be able to detour a relationship between a father (or mother) and thier children.
They BOTH had these kids together. It is Richard who vacated HIS responsability when he CHOSE not to show up on his visitation days with his own children.
Give it a rest on the "gifts" Gifts are nice but again HE IS NOT A GRANDPARENT. HE IS A FATHER. (The actual grandparent doesn't even seem to be much of one) How would Kelly like it if Richard walked away from their daughter as well, and the family followed suit?
So, Richard left and Richard became the grandparent and "hero" by sending gifts once in a blue moon? That makes it right, after all these years?
Do you want to know the truth of what I think? Probably not, but I'll tell you anyway. I think Kelly doesn't want Richard to see his kids. I think she hordes him all to herself, and she likes it that way. I think she is overbarring and Richard cowards down to her wishes. I think she has issues of her past, and her own life (which she's spoken briefly about) when it comes to divorce, and she does not know how to be a good well balanced step mother. I think Richard is only "allowed" to see his kids with Kelly present. (hence, the vacation SHE could also go on)I think there is a lack of trust between Kelly and Richard, and Kelly doesn't trust Richard to go see his kids without her there.
Being as I've said something negative about Kelly, I'm sure I will be called names again by her "troop" of a family (until Richard leaves her, and her daughter also of course, I wonder where her "troops" will be then - let me guess, siding with Richard and maybe his third wife and kid.) but that is what I see as the truth.
#174 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelley - Muskegon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 16, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 16, 2006
I have read thru all these postings ( I hate the word 'blog' whoever came up with that stupid name needs to be shot) and this is what I've learned:
-No one cares at all about these INNOCENT children. They did not ask for these parents , they did not ask to be born in a world full of grief and anger and hostility. EVERYONE needs to remember that when a harsh word about is said about Sharon. She is raising these kids the best she can WITHOUT a father. If Richard would've put forth more EFFORT to see his kids, I would think ok , yeah he got behind but he is a PART of these chilren's life so I'll give him a break. But no, Rich decides that it's not worth the hassle. NO PERSON ON THIS EARTH would keep me from my kids, no amount of name calling , no amount of silly phone calls, no amount of she did this and they did that. Bottom line , Rich did not put his kids FIRST. She didn't take my new wife's money, she said no to Vegas blah blah blah. Would you? Honestly? So Rich gives up after a couple tries. He IS therefore a DEADBEAT DAD in my opinion. Love is unconditional , not whenever you feel like it or when I want a lien taken off my house.
-Nick and Ruth need to seriously make up their minds on what side to be on because they are making me dizzy. Those in glass houses shall not throw stones.
-Kelly needs to learn that it isn't all about her. Suck it up , go get a facial with your 20K and let the so called man do his own dirty work. I would resent your involvement a little too. You are not the mother or the father, you are a STEP PARENT. Deal with it.
-Ohh and about this 20K that Sharon did not take. Um hello? If it wasn't enough to FULLY SATISFY the lien then it wouldn't be taken off I can assure you. And that seems to be the only reason Ms Kelly offered it because if you were so concerned about Rich's debt then you would've put that 20K toward his back child support ANYWAY. Yeah , he got behind because he lost his job for ahwile. OK , I'm sure that Burger King was hiring. And no , the lien wouldn't be taken off so I'm taking my family on vacation. How was that vacation again? If I remember right , it wasn't that great because of a hurricane? Karma is a bitch ain't it ?
-Sharon makes silly annoying phone calls and Kelly sends fat fliers. Are we adults or 12? If I was receiving fat fliers everyday I wouldn't bother with silly phone calls, you would have that shotgun right straight up your arse. Grow up.You are only hurting the children.
So now we'll all get a snappy retort from Nick and Ruth will bore us with her endless rambling on about the same things over and over and Sharon will continue to defend herself and her children and Kelly will complain that Sharon didn't take her money and that her husband is not a deadbeat and the sister will bash everyone that doesn't support her deadbeat brother and Granny will whine because she didn't receive a thank you card and that's why she never sees her grandchildren and she has other loving grandkids so to hell with these two and so on and so on AND GUESS WHAT? Where does it get you all? NO WHERE. And what happens to these children. THEY CONTINUE TO GET HURT. So before you go on again , think about what you are doing to that boy and girl. You all should be ASHAMED. And sorry. The only one sorry here is Richard, a sorry deadbeat dad.
#175 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, June 17, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, June 17, 2006
I will say a couple if not more things here today. I have been busy and not had time to tit for tat back and forth on this subject. As for some they see it one way and others see it another, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
As for me getting involved, Kelly I stated for years I did not due to the fact it was between Sharon and Rich. When the high volumes of calls happened years ago with the ranting and raving I stayed quiet. Maybe not happy but quiet.
When the calling resumed and the ranting and raving continued I had enough. People can only take so much and considering or depending on the day I am also responsible in some way to my stepchildren (again that term was only used recently) but I should lay down and take the beating. Sorry I am not that way and will stand to anyone and speak my opinion. Doesn't mean it is always right but I will speak my mind.
Now, we are on visitation and gifts. As for visitation I can only speak of what I have heard and that is before he moved back east he did try to see Stefanie and it was not allowed. She wasn't there when it was visitation time or the door was slammed in his face.
Here is a good question for everyone to think about. How would you feel if you came home from work to find your house cleaned out, bank account and to be left with a pair of underwear on the floor and your wife and child gone. Might we mention she did leave often on weekends to stay with her parents and leave him on numerous occasions. He is the monster and she sits on a pedestal. She cleaned out their account that had money they were saving to buy a house.
Again, I never said everyone hasn't made mistakes, including Rich and that could include myself too. But I will say again I don't think everyone is perfect. Others obviously disagree and think some are much better and should be on a pedestal.
Unfortunately, the children have been raised with hatred and resentment. As for Steven, Rich did have contact with him but then he also got involved in the child support issues too. Steven is having personal difficulties with the death of his grandmother and seeking help. This added to it I am sure is really healthy for him. Dealing with a death in the family is a tragic thing for all concerned and that is enough to deal with on it's own. Then to drag him into this nightmare of hatred and resent is only more damaging for him. Only my opinion I am not a professional.
As for Rich and the kids I never would keep him from them but only encourage a relationship. It is not me hording him it is Sharon hording the kids and using them as a pawn in a emotional, resentful game. I would NEVER DISCOURAGE ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE KIDS…… If he was allowed to see the kids I never would have any problem with him going ALONE. I have trust him completely. Did you think I was worried that he might hook up with Sharon? Not worried at all.
One last thing some ask what would I do if Rich left. Well first thing I would not have a problem with his family because I have a good relationship with them and I would do things differently than Sharon has chosen to do. I would never keep our child from anyone in the family due to bitterness or revenge. I would handle the situation differently and certainly wouldn't make it public knowledge.
Nick, could you please define deadbeat again. I have to say that term is slung around with no knowledge of the true definition. I guess some could try to say Rich is a deadbeat for not having a relationship with the kids but when not allowed to there must be a term and definition for that too.
#176 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Elizabeth - Saint Charles (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, June 17, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, June 17, 2006
Okay, so everyone has been a total putz here. Everyone in this situation has made mistakes, some small, some huge. Fact is, children do not pop out with a handbook (wouldn't it be nice if they did?) on how to handle all the issues they will face. There is no perfect way to handle a divorce or ex-spouse. We can all sit here everyday and point blame at each involved party about how they screwed all this up. But, ultimately that does nothing.
Let's take a quick sanity check here. What it all comes down to is that EVERYONE in this situation needs to lay down their swords and let it go. These children have been hurt enough. Sooner or later you have to decide how much the fight means to you. I've pointed blame at everyone here but in reality I have no dog in this fight. Only the people who do can decide its time to let this go and work toward helping these children have a good solid relationship with their parents and families. What is really more important here, proving someone is fat or a bad father or proving to the children that they are loved and valued?
I don't like my ex all that much but I have to respect that he is the father of my children. I've had HUGE issues with things he's done over the years and I'm sure he would say the same. We've both made mistakes as exes and as parents but at the end of the day its how we treat our children and each other that matters. Its what we teach them by example that will lead them in their relationships in the future. Are either of us perfect? Oh heck no. But, I can look in the mirror and say I did my best to teach them to be loving, responsible, respectful adults.
PLEASE think about it.
#177 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: D - Colorado Springs (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, June 17, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, June 17, 2006
I do not have anything to do with these people, but I wanted to post my husbands story.
My husband currenly pays 1,000 a month in support and alimony. 700 dollars towards his only child, and alimony to his ex wife, in the amount of 300 dollars a month.
My husband knows he is responsible for taking care of his son. What irks him, is the alimony. When child support put his order into effect, they did not take into consideration her income. They know she has one, and even though my husband has tried to get the alimony cancelled, the child support case worker does nothing. In fact, she is the one who told us they did not take her income into consideration.
My husband would rather have that 1,000 a month go towards his son.
He is a great dad, loves his son, and would never deny him anything.
When a man has a child with a woman, he has the obligation and responsibility to take care of those kids.
Now as for the workers at child support, they are too lazy to get off their butts and help my husband. My husband is not in arrears, and yet has over paid her by 8,000. Why?? because they take his tax refund every year. We have all the paperwork showing he is past his pay amount, but child support is very hard to deal with.
We tried to find a lawyer, and we cannot find any lawyers who want to take on child support.
So for all those dads who pay and are good fathers, it really upsets me how these dead beat dads get away with it. Why aren't they in jail?? Why do they still have a drivers license??
In my state, child support does not play games. You pay or you go to jail.
Also, one more thing, my husband and I have 50% custody, and when we have his son, she is supposed to pay. But nobody goes after her. She is very slick and knows how to hide her income.
D.
Colorado
#178 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, June 17, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, June 17, 2006
D - get your own thread.
Kelly (wife) - Look more tragedy and new information from Sharon's past that maybe everyone can jump on to take the heat off of you for a second. Doesn't feel good when it's happening to you as well huh? You also said something I found to be interesting. You said as for visitation the only thing you can say is what you've heard? Yet those children are in their teens and you've been with Richard for 13 years?
RICHARD IS A DEADBEAT.
Kelley (not wife)- You are right on with this situation. About all of it, the vacation, and kelly's motives behind the vacation in reguards to the lien, all of it. I agree with you.
Sharon- people make mistakes, to include Kelly and Richard, and yourself, and everyone involved. I hope that you as their mother, can try your best to figure out how to soften your children's hearts in this matter, and find a resolution for the whole family. I am not saying this responsability is yours solely, but it's a good place to start some healing with your kids.
As for Nick bringing "light to the subject" of an interpetation of a deadbeat, I personally feel there is more to being a father than just paying a bill each month. If that is not what the dictionary says, it is because the dictionary does not have FEELINGS. Children on the other hand, DO.
#179 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, June 17, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, June 17, 2006
First, let's get something straight I am not trying to take the heat off me. You want to nit pick anything I say. That is fine if you obviously choose to do so. As for the visitation thing I mentioned the past when Stefanie was small and as to why. I answered that statement that came directly from Sharon. It was brought up about years ago so I responded to that. I did not state anything about the present time or the last 13 years or so.
You are right there is more than being a father than paying child support but again how can you develop a relationship when you are not allowed to speak with them and when he ever did on her terms only. The conversation was listened to on another phone in the house. I understand trying to protect the kids but why would protection be needed unless she was paranoid something might be said that would make her look bad.
That is another thing he tried to never speak badly about Sharon to the kids when he did speak with them so they wouldn't get upset or be put in the middle. I guess since it's her saying all the negative things and involving them in adult matters such as support it is okay. The way I understand this is that it all depends on who is saying what here. If Rich said anything some gets taken out of content but Sharon's doesn't. That is fair?
Don't get me wrong I am only voicing my opinion about certain past writings, I don't need to be accused of attacking someone. Even though as I said above this will be picked apart word for word.
Here is a question to think about. He has ALWAYS had contact according to Sharon? So when he called to congratulate her on one of the biggest times in her life the phone number is no longer working, it has been disconnected. So please I ask now what? How do you begin or try to begin to trying to amend things if there is no working number and we were never notified of a change. But look back we have always had the ability to have contact she states. Remember that this was mentioned more than once about the whole family. So who has washed their hands and been hung who out to dry and for how long? She always kept the same number and address? How about the times she moved the family wasn't notified just like now.
As for the lien she told us she could get it removed shame on me for believing her but the offer still was open. If you really think about this we still would have owed the state and if we paid them she wouldn't have money in her pocket. If I would have sent it to the state she wouldn't have seen a dime of it. How would that benefit the kids? I was willing to do it regardless but that part seems to be overlooked. If I try to offer something nice I must have motives. I don't care what people think because I know my intentions were for good. This whole lien thing has been a issue that won't rest and no matter what I say it will be wrong or not correct. Was it so wrong to try and all benefit?
As for the dictionary you are right the children do have feelings. You can sit and say all day long and say that Rich is a DEATBEAT but when he has been used as a pawn in a game how can he be classified as a deadbeat. Also, has paid child support once the issue surfaced. The issue did surface years ago when she was on assistance but wanted the money sent to her and not let child services know about it. She didn't want to get them involved.
Rich did offer to do something earlier but she wanted it personally sent to her or nothing. This mind you was a few years after the divorce and she wanted nothing from him just the divorce. Did it ever occur to anyone at that time he first went to court over child support and visitation he might not have had the access to the same resources Sharon did. We couldn't get the best attorneys or child support advocates on our side. At that time she did have the upper hand and really always will because she has the control of the children and the contact allowed. When she holds all the cards it make it much easier to say that he did everything wrong and nothing right as far as the children are concerned.
Again, I will state it was said directly to me she NEVER wanted the children to have any relationship with their father. I am hording him away? He is his own person and I don't control , say or tell him what to do. Maybe I ask him to take out the trash on garbage night. I wouldn't consider that control.
Laura, you told D to get her own thread don't you have yours under Sharon's website? Obviously, you have tried to keep it fair between both parties but you do have a connection with Sharon in this website. How much stock should I put on what you say? Just as you put on what I say. Fair is fair here.
I tried to read your site which the link is on Sharon's new site. Again, she informed us about this one too. I can't keep up with both , I just don't have the time to read it all and sorry to hear your having a tough time but your situation seems to be of a different nature than this.
Have a good night all. Sure we will all talk soon.
#180 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
-I have been accused of a lot of things with my own child support case. My ex-husband doesn't speak for himself, he has his wife and/or family speak for him. I wasn't aware that she was involved in my life back when my ex-husband and I split up??? Now there is a question to ponder-why would she be answering for him? I don't even try to venture a guess. In my own case I have had to change our phone number, no I didn't give it to my ex, nor do I plan too. He isn't the one that makes the phone calls, it is his wife and her weight loss phone calls, and yes I have called her on this but she will not get on the phone with me because I am so "abusive" on the phone. I have enough to deal with, and so does my family, without the unwanted phone calls. It was upsetting to my husband, my children, and my father when he was here to watch his grandchildren graduate. I discussed it with my husband and my children and the decision was made to change the number. I did check with the Child Support Department and I don't have to give my ex the phone number. If the question is asked "Why would I not allow contact from their biological father", it is because of the annoying phone calls, and the fact that he doesn't call to talk with the kids anyways. He has the address and that is enough. By now he has received the paperwork from the Child Support Division outlining what the new support order is and the issue of the current medical. I have also sent him a packet (sent the same, Identical packet to child support) with the current medical bills and the fact that yes they have been paid and that he is to reimburse me half of the money. If he wants to get a hold of the kids, or send his congratulations to Stefanie for graduating, then send her a card.
After reading Kelly's or Richard's (whomevers voice she is using, can't keep track) I was never aware of the fact that we were saving money to buy a house??? Richard had lost his job with the Vallejo Police Department, he wanted me to apply for welfare, this is all in my bio. I left with $200.00 so there was no bank acount to clear out. At this time, and this is funny now, he told me the reason why he worked all the time, but never came home with money or a paycheck, was because he was working undercover because he looked so young, to buy drugs from known drug dealers in our area, Solono County, and that the form of payment he received for this work was the Harley Davidson motorcycle he brought home, not money, which we needed, but a motorcycle. (LOL) Another piece of the mystery...and also good for a laugh.
For myself, being a logical person, that was a load of crap...give me a break..how stupid did you think I was???
As for me cleaning out the house, I took my personal possessions along with my daughters and the clothes that had been bought for Steven (although I hadn't had him yet, I was still pregnant). The furniture and everything else was still in the apartment that we were renting. As a matter of fact I was contacted by the property manager wanting to know what to do with the furniture. I didn't have the means nor the money to rent a storeage space so I told them to sell it. There was more then a pair of underwear left for him Kelly/Richard, and she/he knows it. By the he way, where is the Bouliva watch, that was missing out of my jewlery box along with a Sapphire necklace?????
As for me leaving him at home to go and visit my family and friends down in Monterey, he went with me, we only had one car.
How is that for a father's day special. It is so funny now when I think about it, I was so young back then, only 23.
Yes I do sound very annoyed with the whole situation, and I am. Just do what you have been ordered to do. If you want a relationship with your kids, stop having your wife speak for you, and speak for yourself, better yet write to them, there is something that you never have done.
I do have work that needs to be done for my regular job. My kids are happy and doing just fine. They are enjoying the summer.
This is not kiss and make up time, sorry to some of the readers of this, this is just more things that happened that Kelly (or whomever is answering for Richard) seems to think they know about.
Here is wishing you and yours a Happy Fathers Day.
#181 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
I'm still not sure who reads this if it is Kelly or Richard.
I never NEVER NEVER (apparently there are still people who can't read, asked Richard to pay me dirrectly. When you are on AFDC, you are scutanized very carefully. At the time I also had to show my bank statements, to make sure that I didn't have anymore money then what I was reporting.
This is just another example of someone not being there and not knowing what she/he is saying.
#182 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
I do not have any connections with Sharon. As for having a link off of Sharon's website, if one is there, I did not allow it, ask for it, or even realize it was there until you just said so.
My situation is far from your guys' and I am not asking you to keep up with my situation by any means.
The only website I am aware of is this one, in which I have MY OWN thread, which is why I could tell D to get one of her own as well, as what she said had nothing to do with this thread, or this situation.
Sharon are you preventing the children from seeing Richard? Did you just change you phone number and not tell them? Those are Richard's kids remember that, and the best solution to this is to remind them daily that Richard although far away may still love his children. It is best if those kids have a softer heart about this situation no matter who is to blame. At the end of the day we all as adults should focus on the children's well being, and future.
I do have a question for you Kelly. You stated that Sharon changed her phone number recently, and then you said she sent you a link for MY thread in reguards to MY case? So there is still contact and a way to congratulate Stephanie for graduating without a phone number in hand I take it? Or was that just a way to drag me down right along with Sharon and it's simply not true?
#183 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
I stated a reply recently to Kelly, and then I finished reading your replies. Next time I think I'll just read all of it before I reply.
You have already answered the questions about the phone number change. I believe if you are getting harrassing phone calls you have every right to change your number. I also believe you are correct with the SED only needing Richard to have your address. I have recently checked that law myself, and you have to notify the other party of a move, but NOT a phone number change. So Kelly, Sharon is well within her rights to change her phone number. I do not see a person changing their phone number if they were not getting harrassing phone calls. That is a defensive tactic, not an aggressive one.
As for this whole linking my story blah blah Sharon what's going on with that? Was that just Kelly being Kelly and trying to discredit me or make me in "cahoots" with you so everyone would start to attack me again? I do believe in my post where I stated anything negative about kelly I also DID SAY I expected this result from Kelly and Richard's family. Apparently I was right.
Sharon: if you have put my link somewhere please remove it. My case, although still at this time a "deadbeat" issue, should be mine and mine alone.
#184 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
It is me Sharon, Kelly and I do know for a fact that you did ask for money when you were on assistance I was sitting there next to him at the time. He offered to call the state and you said no. Now we know why you wanted it sent via money order. Can't track it that way?
As for your watch and whatever else you mentioned I wish I could tell you. All I know is what I have been told and heard. I guess you again are sitting on that pedestal. You did nothing wrong correct? Leaving and taking Stefanie along with all belongings was the proper way to handle the situation?
Although , since your willing to air everyone's dirty laundry it doesn't appear you would find fault in anything you do.
I did hear how you took his paycheck that day along with some money he received from a deceased relative went to the bank and NEVER came back.
As for some kind of phone calls I have better things to do with my time than bother you. I would happily get on the phone with you if YOU CALLED AS YOU STATED. I am not intimated by you at all. If it makes you feel better to think that I am then so be it.
As for your phone being changed that is your decision one that only looks like in our case you really don't want Rich to have contact, you make all the excuses you want. He can contact by mail your right and I am sure he will try. Will you even let them get the letters? You won't let him have phone contact anyhow. Since you have convientely forgotten that YOU said not to call or you would press some harassment charges.
If you don't want me to speak then maybe you should stop. You invited all of us to join in. Now you don't want my opinion? Well I am sorry to say I will give it anyway. Do you think that attacking Rich is going to make me silent? I am not a silent person, right or wrong I will answer whether you like it or not. I really don't care about you. My only concern is the kids believe it or not. They have been exposed to so much of this and your anger. It really is a shame you just can't let him go.
#185 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Chris - Corona (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
Sharon, I too am a California resident with children who are not supported by their biological father. Nick had some good but naive suggestions in the beggining. Filing content of court papers each and every month the absent parent doesn't pay becomes costly. As you probably know attorneys help solve nothing. The fact that your ex paid $138.00 against a $900.00 support order is a joke. My ex does the same thing. He was ordered to pay $2,000.00 a month. I went years without a dollar.
I worked the first few years we were divorced but I did not have children so that Kindercare could raise them while I worked and their absent father flitted around the country taking in the sights and calling it work. I eventually went on welfare also. To Marsha and anyone else who thinks welfare is a freebie and people who recieve are laying on the couch, watching television living the life of luxery are seriously, seriously out of touch with reality. Be careful who you judge, it is almost a law of nature that you will find yourself in the same place of the people you once judged and find that you take the same actions you judged others for taking! Marsha, you will not be so high and mighty some day and you'll be eating humble pie!
When California sub-contracted the collection of child support to the Department of Child Support Services rather than having CS cases on the County District Attorney's desk, the whole system went to heXX in a hand basket.
I stayed single for 10 years, remarried 7 years ago. My husband has supported my children. Their bio dad would give me a check now and then for 200, 300, whatever he could spare. His 1994 W-2 said he earned 98K that year. It so happened that is the year he decided he wasn't going to pay support any more. He'd been paying 1/2 the amount for two years and he was done. He knew he could get away with it because he has another ex-wife with 2 children who had a case at DCSS for over a decade and they collected nothing for her. He would get letters from the "district attorney" demanding he pay his support and he threw them in the trash!
Long story short, he owes over 400 thousand. Yes, you read correctly, four hundred thousand and counting. After, 12 YEARS, the District Attorney's division at Department of Child Support Services FINALLY filed criminal charges - which should've been done 11 years ago.
He hired an attorney (but can't pay support). In the end, my ex-husband was found guilty on both counts (only misdemeaners when it should be a felony at that amount!); he was ordered to pay the current order plus $500.0 in arrearages begining Feb. 1, 2006. He was put on 3 years probation. sentenced to 365 days in county jail (265 days suspended). So he got 90 days but they gave him community service instead of jail time.
After 14 years, that gave me some satisfaction. However, Feb. 1st came and went and of course there was no payment made. I called on the 10th of Feb - DCSS said they had to wait 30 days giving the guy a chance. After all these years and all the kids he's abandoned, he's the last person who deserves yet another chance!
He paid 1/8 of what he was ordered to pay and he paid it 14 days late. In the 5 months he's been on probation, he has violated his probation every single month. In the third month (April 06), the D.A. sent a request to the judge asking that he be charged with violating his probation. Under that, the judge could make him serve the time she suspended (265 days)but more likely, he'd be given weekends or an ankle bracelet.
He makes plenty of money; he always has. He just knows that a mother will provide for her kids one way or another and there doesn't seem to be any good reason why he should support them. I was young and stupid when I married him. I had no idea what kind of con man he was. He has at least 7 kids, maybe 9. some he doesn't he know their names and has never seen them or paid one penny toward their support.
Riverside County has a website for Department of Child Support Services. I don't know what county you're in but check to see if your county provides Internet access to DCSS. It's an easier method of being the squeaky wheel then writing letters and staying on hold. Are you aware of the Ombudsman program?
I wrote to the state attorney general 2 years ago and the county A.G. also the director of DCSS. That's when the ball started rolling but as you can see, justice is slow (to put it mildly).
I know how furiating it is when you the other parent of your children can walk away without responsibility. To Marsha who brags that she never went after her childrens' father for support - maybe she doesn't know who he/ they are. But that is just an ego trip which deprives her children of the benefit of both parental assets.
It wouldn't matter if you won the lottery, your exhusband should be held accountable. All parents should be.
I'd say keep up the good fight, try and leave out the drama although I know how difficult that is when you're watching your children be robbed - not just of financial support but of what wedding vows promised them in the first place - a two parent home with two parent support.
good luck.
#186 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
Your case is yours and will remain yours. Kelly, I give up on that situation. She has read mine and yours, and is going to draw her own conclusions.
I do wish you the best of luck. Hope you and your children take care of each other, thanks for listening. I am now drawing this to a close as I keep on having to repeat myself and I need to focus on other things.
Richard-stop hidding behind a "women" who thinks for you. Stand up for yourself, write to your children. It is up to them if they answer you or not. They want nothing to do with Kelly, your mother (for obvious reasons), Mike, or Angie.
They know what the truth is...
I have answered back on here to clear things up. This has been a journey that is now at the end. Thanks to your wife, and yourself, and the rest of your family, you have shown your true colors. The kids aren't stupid nor ignorant.
If you choose to, you will make the choices that need to be made regarding the kids, if not, then it is your loss. They really are great kids and they are deeply loved.
Live long, I have no more to say. I am sure that Kelly will (or maybe it will be you, hard to tell) as will the rest of your family. You didn't do right by your responsibilities all those years ago, now you have the consequences to face for your shortcomings.
#187 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
She can't "let him go" because there are children involved WITH him.
There is a way around Sharon and Sharon's actions but Richard will not use the courts (his own rights as a father) to get visitation, so what are you complaining about? Take it up with your husband if you want him or he wants to see the kids.
Yelling at Sharon only causes further division and if you are concerned for the children's well being and emotional status as you say you are, then would that not be an appropriate move on your families part?
You guys are starting to fight over things that happened what some 16 or 17 years ago. You cannot change the past so leave it there. What all of you can change is the future, and so far the present leading into the future looks as bad as the past.
I have nothing against you Kelly, again my only concern with you is your attitude towards the children, mainly Stefanie.
Maybe I didn't read it correctly, please tell me again when Richard filed for visitation rights?
All the best to you Kelly. I'll be honest none of you are coming out looking good in this situation.
Sharon, my personal opinion is it IS "kiss and make up time" for your children's lives and emotional well being. Someone has to be the bigger person here, it may as well start on your end, as it does not seem to be coming from Richard's side as of yet. Maybe they will follow suit.
All the best-
#188 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
I think there was a misunderstanding. She didn't send me your link but it is on xxxx
When your ex's name is clicked on it brings you to your rip off blog. She didn't send it to me and I do apologize if I implied that. It is accessible through the other site that is all. Whether you want it there or not is between the two of you.
#189 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
I will say that at least this is coming to a close for now. We have all said that but after a while continue to write on this thing.
He is not hiding behind me and you should know him better than that you were married to him too. He refused at the beginning to go tit for tat with you. He felt that has been going on long enough with no resolution your always right and he is always wrong. It would have solved nothing but I wouldn't be surprised to see him here one day.
Your right I keep saying the same things over and over as you do. As for the kids they know everything? The fact you admitted to me you didn't want them to have anything to do with their father and so on.
Our true colors I do think yours have shown above the rest too. Not just ours. As far as ending this journey I highly doubt that because you seem not to be able to end things regarding Rich and not just where the children are concerned.
If you put as much time and energy as you have into trying to slam Rich as being the Deadbeat he is not and focused this energy into your marriage maybe that would be more satisfying in the end.
As, for one of your last statement playing kiss- kiss and mending that proves to me and everyone else that this is what you have tried to achieve all these years by making it your life work to ruin any type of relationship he had or has tried to have with the children. As I told you before that will come full circle one day and bite you right in the behind. You can't think that eventually they won't want to meet Rich or see him. You can only shelter and keep them away for so long. Children do grow up and learn to think for themselves without influence.
#190 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, June 18, 2006
Thank you for clearing that misunderstanding up. I do appreciate it. Now if I can talk to you for a second from one mother to another mother please?
I am going through a hard time in my life right now, and the choices I make result in consequences for my children's well being and mindset in life. You know this as a mother.
I do not know your intentions with this case in reguards to Richard and his children with Sharon, but I do know that you are not helping the situation as much as you may think you are. Do not take that offensively, I am not meaning it in any attacking manner whatsoever.
I am concerned about Stefanie and Steven. You have recently stated you are as well. You although a step parent, may be able to provide some structure if you could establish a good relationship with those children. The children are not small, so it is going to be a very long road, but well worth it if the end result is peace in the family, and Richard having a relationship with his children. This journey unfortunately HAS to begin with finding middle ground with Sharon at this point. You don't have to like her, she doesn't have to like you, but you should both as the adults in this situation work towards resolution for the children. You all know this, it is just a matter of pride from an outsiders opinion.
My advise take it or leave it to you is, search your heart, your mind, and your soul, and determine what is the best avenue of approach to get the results for those children to have a relationship with their father for life. There is nothing greater in life than a relationship with a father, and who better to fill that role than the biological parent?
All the best to you and your family and may God bless your journey's ahead.
#191 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, June 20, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, June 20, 2006
I have a little issue with this statement you said in another thread. I want to bring this to your attention because in my opinion this is a serious matter, and should not be one of revenge, and discord, but rather one of your children's father, and family, and the lack of emotional and some what financial support that has been forced upon your children by them.
In my opinion this indicates you are "happy" about "smearing Richard's name" more so then you are "happy" or satisfied about coming to a resonable resolution for the children involved.
In speaking of your own website in reguards to Richard you wrote:
I created it and sent it to my ex-husband's family and now his name is all over the internet.
What in the world? This sounds to me like someone who wants to "smear" his name "all over the internet" rather than that of a concerned mother for her children's livelihood. This disturbed me immensely, as you profess to be an advocate for women in this type of situation and "gaining support" for the child the other party left behind.
In my opinion, in order for you to put yourself in a rank as such, you have to be of pure sound mind and heart, for the benefit of the children involved and NOT for your own personal satisfaction of "smearing" someone's name on the internet.
I know you already know this, but I feel you need to be reminded that this "mission" is for THE CHILDREN, not your own personal satisfaction, and gain.
All the best-
#192 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Jennifer - Richmond (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, June 21, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Several people have referred to this as a "blog". It is NOT a blog. It is a Rip-Off Report which basically turned into a virtual mud-slinging free-for-all.
After reading nearly all the posts here, I've determined that we've heard from:
SHARON, original author of this report
KELLY, wife (?) of Sharon's ex-husband, Richard
MICHAEL, Sharon's ex-brother-in-law
ANGIE, Sharon's ex-sister-in-law
DIANE, Sharon's ex-mother-in-law
STEFANIE, Sharon and Richard's 17-year-old daughter
KATHY, Kelly and Richard's attorney friend
We've heard from pretty much everyone except Richard himself and Steven, his other child with Sharon. Am I missing anyone?
There has basically been NO consumer-related value in any of the posts written here. It's just a bunch of estranged family members verbally attacking each other, allowing years of frustration and hatred bubble to the surface and spill over onto a VERY public forum.
What I find interesting is that soon after Sharon started this "report", all of her ex-husband's relatives jumped in and started reading and posting responses. How would they even know of its existence if Sharon hadn't told them about it?
From the various posts we know Sharon's full name, Richard's full name, and by deduction the names and location of their minor children. We know Richard's phone number. What's the point in posting THAT? Does Sharon want random strangers to call up her ex-husband and berate him about child support payments? Is that any way to approach this already volitile situation?
We even know how much Kelly weighs. (122lb, if you missed that bit.) Now tell me -- how does the weight of the stepmother have ANYTHING AT ALL to do with child support?
It doesn't. I am really shocked and disappointed that this "report" wasn't deleted outright.
#193 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, June 21, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, June 21, 2006
This is the VERY LAST posting that I am going to do on this site.
As you fully know emotions and fellings do get caught up on this site. He quits his job again or gets behind in his payments of child support or behind on the medical that he owes, I will post his name again and go after him in court again.
Now I will explain where this comes from:
On one of our conversations (over the speaker phone with my daughter and son present) Richard stated that there was no way that he was EVER going to pay $948.00 a month for child support. "The kids aren't worth that much money."
TO ME MY CHILDREN ARE PRICELESS!! NO AMOUNT COULD EVER REPLACE THEM!!
Mother to mother-what would you do if your husband (again I am sorry to hear of your upcoming divorce, I know that it is a painful decision to make even when you know that it is the right one) or Rob, were to say that to you regarding one of your children??
Also take into account:
-Richard's family has NEVER had any contact with my children. I think I have proven that point.
-Richard has NEVER exercised his visitation rights. I have also proven that.
-I have been accused of being a drunk, bi-polar (even had that spelled out for me),drug user,pill popper, my nerve medication has to be under lock and key, married to a fire bug, being a bad parent for having my children in counseling after the death of their grandmother and great-grandfather (both of whom they were very close with, Richard said that to me over the speaker phone) and numerous other things.
-I have also heard how happy he was with my mom's passing.
-??Would you want a grandmother like Richard's mom for your children's grandmother, I think you already answered that one!!
-I have also been accused of wanting him back, I DON'T NOR EVER WILL WANT HIM BACK!! I DIVORCED HIM. IF HE WOULD HAVE TAKEN CARE OF HIS RESPONSIBILITIES TO BEGIN WITH WE WOULDN'T BE HERE.
-I have had my work called repeatedly by Richard who has tried to have me fired.
-I have also had plastic surgeons offices and weight loss centers phone me at home, work and on my cell phone.
I created this blog to bring to the attention of not only his family but to all of the Deadbeat Parents out there:
"You will be held both emotionally and financially responsible for the lives that you helped create and bring into this world. If you aren't going to be there emotionally then you will be held financailly responsilbe. If you can't be there financially then be there emotionally. But held responsible you will one way or the other!!!"
This may be disturbing to you, but in my particular case, he has never been there emotionally for the children, although I have tried in the past, I have given that up. He will be held financially responsible, period!
Just because I am an advocate for child support rights doesn't mean that I am a perfect person, nor will I ever be that perfect person. There isn't a perfect person in this world. Do I make mistakes?? I sure do. Do I do what is best for my kids?? In my opinion, yes I do. It doesn't matter what I do in my lifetime it will not be up to par for someones tastes. Do I care?..to a degree, can I do anything about it, no. Does this mean that I will stop my fight for what is rightfully my children's, no it doesn't.
Being pure of heart and mind (to me) is a state of being. Have I done what is right in my heart for my kids, yes. Have I done what is right in my mind for my kids, yes.
It is not up to me to repair the relationship between Richard and the kids. That is up to him to do, as I have said he can write to them and it will be up to them if they want a relationship or not.
The court order is, (and has been updated in Monterey County) Child Support is set at $948.00 per month, beginning Jan. 15, 2006. The court ruther orders-any uncovered medical, dental (including orthodontia) and/or optical expense shall be shared equally between the parents pursuant to the health care costs and reimbursement procedures set forth in family code section 4063. There is nothing in there regarding visitation.
The current amount he owes for the remaining of May 2006 is $221.62. Arrearages he owes $16,073.79, to Monterey County he owes $50,365.52 for a grand total of the lien on the house being $66,439.31.
I hope that I have answered your questions, and I have been honest. I have accomplished what I set out to do, hold him responsible for his shortcomings, get the child support up to guidelines, and the medical up to guidelines.
THIS IS THE END OF THE STORY.
Sharon Johnson
Fakeford Stefven Get Child Support
#194 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 22, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 22, 2006
It was not my intention to put you on the defensive stance. I totally understand as a mother going through simular circumstances (at a younger age group with my kids) that the decisions we make are hard, and microscopicly evaluated, compared to the nonchalant ways these men get to go about their lives not living under that same microscope of their own lives and intentions.
My recent posting was showing you a problem with possible repercussions of the smearing of the name. I am not saying he should not be accountable, and I totally agree with you if he wanted visitaion, or a relationship at some point SOME court document WOULD mention it. I am just saying that as a mother a fine line has to be walked, for the children's emotional sanctitude. Unfortunately that is the reality, even though it may not be fair in one's eyes.
The one who is there for the children has to remember the children's emotional sanity through it all. Otherwise, I do believe Kelly will be right, and one day the children will suprise you with their change of heart in this situation as adults, and all of the dedication you provided for so many years, will constitute as nothing more than revenge and anger in the eyes of the children. That is a line in which a mother concerned for her children's emotional status should not faulter on, in my opinion.
Every person who puts themselves in an authorative position, (or be it someone others in simular situations look up to) it is imperative in my opinion that person walk an even tighter rope, as the reflection they see is themselves.
I am in NO WAY saying you have to be perfect, (hell even the president himself isn't perfect) but I am saying that words said do tend to reflect cause and effect. Even though we are pretty much all at our wits end with this and most of our own situations, we still must remain above the dirt floor of "smearing" someone's name across the internet for our pure satisfaction, with no results. I understand frustration, and I also understand showing the "world" and getting feeback. (remember I have a thread also)
I understand all of the name calling and previous things you said to me in your previous post. I am not disputing any of these facts with you whatsoever. I admire your courage and strength, and after all these years, I commend you for being the better person in this situation by standing by those children when life was to hard to deal with at times. Trust me, I know full well the concequences of actions, and I did not mean to dispute yours as a mother.
Being above the mistakes we make, and able to stand our ground with no hate, and proud to be called mother in the eyes of the onlookers, (the children) in my opinion is in the best interest of the children who I don't care who doesn't see it, HAVE been ABANDONED by Richard, and his family over the years emotionally.
That is all I was meaning from my previous statements. I do not fault you for being the best mother you can be to your children, and yes I do understand your frustration, and it was not my intention to put you on the defensive.
All the best Sharon-
#195 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 22, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 22, 2006
Today I re read ALL the posts, (my own included) and I guess maybe trying to prove my point I did go on and on, Sharon stated as recently as 2006 the children received gifts but not a word of whether they said thankyou or she encouraged them to do so, I agree with the poster that sending this out all over the internet is wrong.I also agree with the poster that said those children were deprived of a 2 parent family sad as it is.
MY intent here was to see what I saw as a one sided campaign to slam the childrens father, that bothers me becuase they are children, and they belong to all of them now ,Sharon and her husband as well as Rich and kelly. Sharon repeatedly states Kelly makes harassing phone calls but in an earlier post she too admitted calling and giving them a hard time. I am sadden by the remarks for the loved ones lost, as I said before I just lost my dad and I am in my 40's and it hurts like , well, you know. I do not think comments like that should be made at all, and the are harmful to those kids.
I would like to see all of you, step parents and extended family members find a way to communicate without smearing eachother over the net, yes I have been judgemental and harsh after reading my posts again there are some things I wish I hadn't said, especially if those kids are allowed to read this, one, I don't think this sort of bashing should be on here, so in the first place I think Sharon is wrong for posting all this personal information allover the net. I am bothered RICH hasn't written in his defense.
In all truthfullness this site didn't accomplish anything, people that don't even know eachother are calling eachother names etc,MYSELF INCLUDED I AM NOT PERFECT, one poster said that if they spent as much time trying to communicate positively instead of the bashing, I do believe there would have been a resolution by now.I hope someday all of you realize we are all human make mistakes and this accomplished nothing to try to improve the relationship between allof you and most importantly the kids.
So Therefore, having said that, I wish ALL of you the best and for those kids sake I do hope that no one washes their hands of them, even though I still believe swearing is wrong out of kids , I can't help that, but that is just MY opinion and thats what it was with me MY opinion. I wouldn't have done this (but I did make myself a party to it by stating my opinions)slandering one parent allover the net and sending it out for them all to see, i do believe was done out of spite and I hope someday they can all let go of this hatred and move forwrd to the future, with happiness and not hatred.so having said that I am probably out of curiosity gonna check this thread from time to time,but Iam going to try hard not to be so judgemental.
I hope you all can get past this hate and move forward without having to change phone numbers or attacking eachother , becuase nothing here that I re read solved anyones problem, in fact, probably made it worse and that truly is sad for those kids......
I wish you ALL the best and good luck
#196 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kathy - Vernon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, June 22, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, June 22, 2006
I agree with Laura with regards to her comment that nothing has been solved here. Honestly I think things were made worse. I am not casting blame on any one particular person. I think Richard was smart in not making any comments on this BLOG. He will be the only one along with his son Steven that will owe no apologies to anyone here. I am sure in time Richard will have his say with his chilren and ex wife. I am sure it will be in private not blasted across the internet.
I just finished reading Sharon's Bio on her website. Anyone who has not read it should go and check it out. I am still very unclear what her intentions are or were in posting this Blog. She clearly covered the whole story from start to current on her website. Was there really a need for this to be on RipOff? In my opinion NO it was a campaign to drag the personal business of two families through the mud.
I have been keeping up with the posts but have not really posted any comments because I feel they are getting to be ridiculous. I have chosen to write now because as I stated before I just finished reading her Bio.
There is alot of one sided information and alot of refereence to scanned documentation. Although I do not see where that is posted to be read. I do like to look at all the facts and base an opinion on what I can see. I do not agree with the way this turned out but then again what good can possibly come of airing private matters in public forum.
I am sure we have not heard the last of this matter. I do support Kelly and Rich because that what freinds do. Everyone has their own personal reasons for adding comments to this Blog. My reason was to support two friends that have been there for me in my time of need. I am not saying that I agree with everything that transpired. But that is the wonderful thing about freindship is we can agree to disagree without bashing one another publicly.
I am sure 5 years from now this will be looked back on as what it realy was RIDICULOUS and SPITEFULL.
#197 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, June 26, 2006
POSTED: Monday, June 26, 2006
You can call it whatever you want:
Child rights
Emotional Responsibility
Financial Responsibility
And paint "for the kids" all over the Great Wall of China, for all I care.
It doesn't change the fact that this has been about revenge all along. It has been about ostracizing children and urging them to pick sides, and making any effort from Richard be a test of consistently jumping through your choice of hoops. Using speakerphone conversations with the kids told to be quiet while financial (read: ADULT) matters were discussed that they had no business hearing - shame on you.
Then I'm to believe that you're trying to paint him in a positive picture, being supportive of their relationship, and have been all along? You've got to be kidding.
Your idea of Richard "being there emotionally" seems to be doing things EXCLUSIVELY your way, your terms, your rules, no compromise. THAT has also been proven in your posts.
Sharon, you claim over and over how hard you tried. I believed you at first. I don't believe that at all. I think if I had to guess, you're so angry at Richard for divorcing you that you'll use the emotions of your kids, your own emotions, and whatever accusations you think are justified to cast your righteous revenge on Richard - even going far enough to bring older family members in on your fun. You might not be bi-polar, but you definately have a case of the "vengies", and an eerie attachment to the demise of those you don't like. "Rack up those bills", since you only have to pay for half. It's socially acceptable, because after all, you're a martyr for your kids.
Nice Bill of NO Rights - whoever wrote that doesn't know one iota about the law.
You can wrap yourself in the blanket of "Fighting for Child Support Rights" all you want, but you can only blanket your disdain for compromise and retributious character for so long.
What about your new husband? Do you hold him accountable for helping you feed and clothe your kids? Oh, I know he's not legally bound to, but that has been avoided on this whole thread.
To Richard: Well, good for not posting. You obviously could deduct the outcome of this thread, and decided not to participate. You have my sympathy. I do hope you can somehow get this paid off and get on with life - maybe you're already able to. The only apology I can offer was because I initially jumped to conclusions.
Good point Kelly. Everyone has a reason for posting. My reason is that I am the stepfather of a walk-away and deadbeat who paid under $300. total in over a decade, and has NEVER sent a birthday or Christmas card.
But you know what? That's a matter of adults. My kids know who buys their groceries, puts shoes on their feet, and takes them to the doctor and the beach. I don't need a crusade to show that I take care of my kids. Someday they will see their real dad. That will never take away anything I've done for them. I don't make them express their anger over it, or vent on the culprit, and especially because of MY frustration! I live today with what we DO have, in reality, not for future court dates or "in the name of the kids" or what could and should be.
When your life stops revolving around someone who makes you miserable, you might become a happier person, Sharon. But then, there are thousands of people who love to live in a miserable state of revenge who need like-minded people to feed off of - and hey, let the kids join in and help design the website! Put their name on a "get even with dad" site. Wheeee! Family time!
Nah, your "accomplishments" speak for themselves, Sharon. You could have gotten your child support, medical bill issues and rears up to date without this site.
You accomplished dragging Richard's name through the mud. However, I agree with you in part: you accomplished what you set out to do.
#198 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, June 27, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, June 27, 2006
I am not "like-minded" by no means. I've seen the end result of a step father misuse his position and end up in jail, so that wonderful array of sentiment of you and your step-children means squat to me personally.
I see the writing on the wall (although not the "wall of China") that this "mission" seems more likely to be of a revenge form, instead of doing what is right by their children.
Sharon has made mistakes plenty with getting the children involved with this site, adult matters, ect. this I agree with you about completely.
I believe you Nick, are the very person who said children ARE like a car payment in an earlier post, so it is interesting that you would talk about your "step-children" as you do, and yet view children as such as an outsider.
The fact remains Richard does not, and has not ever, had any sort of emotional relationship with his own children, and hence this outcome. Most of that I lay on Richard himself, as he is the sole responsible person to "make that happen" via a court order.
One tiny little misconception on your part I must point out to you Nick, is that Richard did not file for a divorce, it appears on all counts that is the ONLY thing they are all in agreement with. Sharon left Richard, and filed for a divorce to my understanding, (then Richard left Cali) so your "motive" strategy is out the window with that statement. (unless I am mistaken about this turn of events?)
These kids are so much older now, I don't know if there will ever be any resolve, but I highly doubt it with EVERYONE'S actions in reguards to these children.
Personally I believe if Richard would have went down to his local court house, and filed for visitation, he could have gained it when the kids were young. However, I'm certain with that action, there would be this type of contention and frustration between each opposing party.
Sharon may have given them a "hard time" with their court ordered visitation - who knows it never came about.
Richard may have had rights to file for custody at some point simply due to "keeping the child away from spouse," or "not complying with a court order" ect. ect.
We can guess at results all day long, but in the end we are left with the same result, and that is the children are already on the "side" of their mother, and there is little Richard at this time can do about that.
(However difficult it is not "to late" to get visitation with the minor child, and technically I believe while attending school the daughter who recently graduated is considered a minor until she is 21. However, I am uncertain to California law reguarding visitation, minor age, and personal preferences (if any) the minor child is allowed to envoke.)
Sharon is emotionally hurting her own children, yes. Richard also is emotionally hurting his own children, yes. This whole thing is incredibly difficult, and sad. Financially there is little to rebuff. This is an emotional battle mostly, covered by financial intent, but emotional none the less.
However, I do not belive it is "funny" or "comical" by no means. (To the editor & staff who responded)
All the best-
#199 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 30, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 30, 2006
Just an update. This morning I found out that my ex-husband is again not employed. That makes 3 times in the past two years and every time that he is unemployed he can't seem to find a job for at least 6 to 9 months. I am not going to even venture a guess at this point.
I do know that as of 6/24/2006 he came into the office and paid $17.00 (and some odd change) on his child support and reported that he is no longer working?? As usual I have found out on my own, "He has always notified you of any job change." The answer to that is NO, he doesn't.
#200 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, June 30, 2006
POSTED: Friday, June 30, 2006
Oh how nice for your children. Apparently this man can't hold down a job very long what's up with that? 17.00 and change? WOW I'm impressed! I think you can buy one shoe with that.
All this attacking Sharon and this loser loses his job! Hmm what time do you work in the morning Sharon? Seems the one footin the bill for these kids is Sharon, and the taxpayers all along. Sweet thanks for that Richard!
I wonder if Nick will consider him a "dead beat" NOW? LOL I believe Richard FITS his "dictionary description" at this point.
Just because there appears to be a soft bed of roses doesn't mean there are no thorns left on them.
#201 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, July 01, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, July 01, 2006
Actually I was off work yesturday spending the day with my daughter after she had come back from a trip to her grandfathers. I had saved money out of the child support that I had been receiveing, get that HAD, (holding a record here, last time was 8 months off from work-his vacation from QUITING his job, then only 3 months of work) when that feelilng hits you that something is just not right??? You know the feeling that I am talking about??? Sure enough, I called the Hartford Support and it was verified.
I had managed to save some of the Child Support money and had promised Stefanie a fun filled day of shopping when she got back, hence the day off, we were going to get new things for her car.
Well..now here comes the part where I have to tell her because I had to use the money set aside to pay bills instead. Is that emotionally hurting the children, YES. Should I have lied to her about him not having a job, NO. Should I have sugar coated it, NO. Is is my fault then, let's think about that one, NO!! She just laughed, shook her head and said, it's okay mom I understand. Keep in mind that she will be 18 very soon.
I still have a job, my husband still has a job, do we (as a married couple) take care of the kids, YES!!
Now for the tough question.. if I am always informed of any job change, how come it is that 6 days had gone by and I wasn't informed?? It is not like his spokesperson, Kelly, doesn't have my cell phone number, she gave it out freely, or he doesn't have my work number, which hasn't been changed, or my fax number at work which he also has, or his family doesn't look at my own website (yes, there are reports that you can get to verify that) and Kelly herself has also verifed that she does. The answer to this question is that NO I wasn't notified. I found out on my own.
#202 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Lori - Kalkaska (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, July 01, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, July 01, 2006
those less fortunate than ourselves. Do any of you realize that when Richard is without employment, it's not only the children from the ex-wife that are affected? In fact, seems like in this case, they are the LEAST affected of all parties involved, since if Sharon has been doing it on her own all this time, they notice no change in their standard of living!
Being snide, making smart remarks, none of this shows the 'adult' attitude that you should have. For any of you who claim to have any religious convictions at all (this doesn't mean that you have to faithfully attend a church, only that you live spiritually), I do believe that having compassion, not judging another soul, are creeds in most every religion around.
How sad that one can condemn Richard for bringing his children into an 'adult' situation and failing to support those children, when the same ones that condemn his actions commit yet another transgression that equally affects the children....not only those children directly involved in the situation, but those in the homes of other posters who live with parents and see this type of attitude. Tell me this, what are you teaching your children? You can 'teach' all you wish, but they are far more influenced by what they observe!
#203 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, July 01, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, July 01, 2006
So, Sharon has done it all this time herself, this makes it right for the other parent to quit his job? Your right there are more people that are affected by this, but just because a mother has had to do it by herself for so many years doesn't make it right. That just makes it "normal" and doesn't affect Sharon's children as much because they are used to it. That's not appropriate for anyone to do.
I am sick of the reponses on this thread all talking about how Richard has tried, and how this is all about Sharon.
This is NOT about Sharon, this is about an absent father who has decided to vacate his emotional and now Financial responsability to his children, not just for a year but for life.
If the readers would put aside what they think about Sharon, and look at it objectively they would see this man has not been there for his children over the years.
Who is this Richard that makes it okay for him to do the same exact things the other threads say their absent parent does, and not get the same replies from readers? Why is it okay for Richard but not for Mr. X on the very next thread?
Seems the only Judging and condemning that is actually going on around here are aimed at Sharon.
I for one, do not understand why it is okay for someone to quit his job, when he has three children to support, but if everyone else thinks it's okay, well I must be missing why this man is above the rest of the deadbeats.
Seems this man is no better than the rest of them that bounce from job to job. Next thing you know he'll be working "under the table" and that will be accepted also by the readers on this thread.
Talk about a biast opinion.
#204 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, July 01, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, July 01, 2006
Give me a break. You talk like us posters who reply to situations and have a comment that is not acceptable to you, are allowing our children to become a part of what we say. That is not true. My children know nothing of this site. What I say here, I say as I see it. I will not sit here and say it is acceptable for Richard to lose his job, and that he is "less fortunate" than me, simply because he cannot hold down a job.
I know a family. We took the husband, his wife, and their three children out of a homeless shelter. We gave the husband a job and all of them a place to live, and what happens? He also quit his job, and hence loses their place to live. Why? Now they live off the next person who feels sorry for them. All along this man goes around bragging that he has 13 other children from 8 other women that he does not support. Why because he says everytime support enforcement catches up to him, he quits his job. Doesn't seem to matter that the three he is raising need food, clothing, and a roof over their head, as long as he is not paying for his past.
Men that can't or won't keep a job in my opinion are showing no "adult" behavior towards their own responsabilities. But I know, my comments are far worse than him not holding down a job. This makes no sense to me.
Religion? You want to say that if you believe in some sort of religion that you cannot speak your mind, but always smile, and be acceptable in the eyes of people. Acceptable to the very people who given half the chance would turn against you. They are the very same ones that you smile at, they smile back, then when you turn your head they smack you upside it. Religion? No sorry no religion is going to tell me I cannot have my own opinion. People kill everyday in the name of "religion." (and just an FYI- there is a difference between "religion" and God) but I don't think Sharon started this thread to discuss this issue, so I'll leave that alone here.
It is a shame that Richard does not feel the need to have a job. Maybe he's looking for a job, and that's why he can't stop off at the court house and fill in one lousy piece of paper to try and get visitation all these years. Maybe he gets lost easily and he can't find the courthouse. Maybe his wife has something to do with it, who knows.. But what I do know, is Richard has not seen his kids in years and he hasn't even tried. What I do know from Sharon's recent posting is this same man that has had no desire to get visitation also now is not supporting his own children financially. (which appears to be a trend of his)
How in the world did he get so far behind in child support payments to begin with - (enough to have a lein placed on his home from support enforcement) and yet none of you consider him a deadbeat. Why? Because he sends gifts on occasion, and even though he hasn't even attempted to gain visitation, I've heard from other posters say "well it's hard to get visitation in a different state." That post misses the point that it has never even been attempted. Now he loses his job, and we're going to say he's "less fortunate."
Must be nice for people to give another person break after break, while the rest of us bust our a$$ working for a living. (Including the mother that DOES support these two kids, and has not vacated HER responsability all these years.)
Good luck Sharon, from the sounds of the posters here, it doesn't seem to matter what Richard does, or doesn't do, it will always be acceptable to them. He must be a "god."
#205 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Susie - Minneapolis (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
First of all I am not posting to attack anyone I am just curious on your replies.
Sharon: I know the situation you are in as I have also not received child support and never will see a dime of the support owed as the person passed away. I have a few questions for you. I agreed with you when you say the person owes the money, where I part company with you is when you do attack the person and family member who were once a part of your family and you did care for. I understand this has now changed but remember love and hate are equals.
My questions for Sharon as follows:
When you received the support did you use the money for the support or care for the childern or did you also use it for your own use? What I mean by this is did the support go into an account and when rent came due did you take the childrens 1/2 of the amount for the rent from this? When you bought groceries did you take 1/2 from the account? When you bought clothing did you again do the same?
When your daughter turns 18 will the support owed to her go to her or will you be paying bills you owe for dental and such which is still owed to the provider, or do you consider this money owed to you for the past 18 years?
I understand you have carried the weight for most of the childrens lives, and this I do respect.
You once again state you had to search out whether or not he is still employed. Did you ever think since your are so diligent in making sure the states have the exact amounts owed up to the minute this could effect how Richard can find and keep a job. Please remember this is reported to the credit agencies as well and does effect employement. I know for a fact if a person's bureau is low a person will not be considered for a job, and the ability to hold down such job.
I know this is not fair for the children but is a fact of life. It is a catch 22. Dad wants to work wants to pay but because of mistakes in the past and what is owed there is no way to make it right in the courts eyes as well as the childerns eyes.
Susie
#206 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
I wish that I had an answer for his behavior (and also lack there of). There was a post done by Kelly that said she would make sure that Stefanie got a graduation card (since I had to change my phone number). That has never materialized either. What I have found out, and this is just through the observation of year after year of dealing with this, is that the Santerre side of the family is all talk and NO action.
Religion is not a part of this at all. Find another band wagon to jump on.
Again, it has been proven that what is said here by Kelly (Richard's devoted wife and typist) that NO I am not notified of any job of life change!! She posts that when it is convenient for her and to make Richard into something that he is not, an "Adult Man."
As my earlier post stated Stefanie just laughed and said it's okay mom I understand. Don't jump on the fact that I had to tell her, I guess I could of not paid a couple of our bills and not told her and pretend that everything is okay, but I don't do things like that. I am honest with my kids and if there are people who don't agree with me, put yourself in the situation that my family has been in, can you honestly say that you would react any different?? You may say that you would, but you aren't in this situation, now are you??
#207 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
In the first place I will not make a financial accounting to you of how the child support money is spent..it is none of your or anyone elses business. I will say that he is responsible for 1/2 of any uncovered medical costs. Have I seen what he is supposed to pay, NO, will I ever see it, NO. Will I keep on billing him for it, YES.
You are allowed your opinion of me, that is your right. The issue at hand is once again he is not employed. That makes 3 times in the past two years, and each time it is not just for a month or so, it is from 6-9 months. Will I hold him accoutable, yes I will. Does everyone have to like it, no they don't. Move on to the next Rip Off...
I don't make lite of the people who have passed away..I do deal with that fact everyday since I lost my mother in our home and 7 months later my grandfather passed away from Parkinson's disease. I do understand loss, and I don't make lite of your loss either.
I didn't phone his work to find out the information. I went on a gut feeling that I had. I phoned the Support Enforcement Division as to if he was still employed, they are the ones that informed me of the situation, not his employer. In dealing with the Child Support Divisions you are entitled to know if the other parent is employed but you aren't entitled to the information on WHO employs them. Any time someone runs his social throught he system it will come up that he owes back child support. Is that my fault, no it is not. If him or his wife apply for a loan, which they have done since the lien was placed on the house, it will also come up. Is his credit rating my fault, no it is not. It is his own doing, or lack of not doing what he is supposed to be doing in the first place. I don't have anything to feel guilty for.
The catch 22, or karma coming around, yes I believe in that. I have done what is right for my kids, if you or someone else doesn't agree with it, voice your opinion, but it will not change my mind.
#208 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Lori - Kalkaska (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
First of all, I didn't see anywhere in the post that I replied to that said that Richard QUIT his job, only that he was unemployed again. There's a difference here.
Next, I'm sorry, but I wasn't defending only Richard here, but the fact that there are others to consider when he has lost his job. And, yes, this includes Kelly. She married him, but she was not a part in the things that came before her.
My point with the kids is that sometimes the parents must just let things go in the best interest of their children. Telling them everything that is going on between the two most important adults in their lives is UNFAIR to them.
Laura, do you bash Rob at every opportunity, making comments to your young one? Do you intend to as she grows older? I think not. From what I've read in your own post, this doesn't seem to be your style. You're going to be like the majority that I personally know, and allow her to make up her own mind about 'dad', and that includes those times when you struggle to support her, either financially or emotionally. In this way, your daughters opinion is based on her personal experience, and she doesn't grow up with an attitude that will be reflected in every aspect of her adult life based on YOUR experiences.
I agree that the child support that is owed would add a nice dimension to the childrens lives... things may be just a bit easier, less struggles with the monthly bills. However, lacking that (which seems likely), as long as the children are not going without because mom's providing it, the kids should be removed from the attitude that Sharon is all to swift to share with them. She has a son in that household as well.... what do you think that he feels each and everytime that he hears how worthless his father is? Regardless of what he voices out loud, it's difficult for a male child to listen to the females in the household continually harp about another male, father or not.
Visitation? Nice thought. However, take into consideration how long it's been since he's seen those kids, and the attitude that mom has now fostered towards him. Again, my apologies, but I truly believe that there are times when it CAN be too late. Richard might POSSIBLY have an opportunity sometime in the future, when the children have been on their own a bit and have children of their own, and maybe even find their spouse in the same situation that their father is currently in. Only after they've experienced how difficult life can be might they be able to understand some of the reasons that 'dad' ended up where he's at.
Nope, this wasn't all about defending Richard, but instead about the way the situation was handled.
#209 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Susie - Minneapolis (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
Sharon:
I am not here to upset you. I just want to point out a few facts.
Over the the term of the last several years you have indicated several times Richard has been unemployed. Has he ever requested during this period of time to have his support lowered? As you know this is also his legal right. I have read here and your website nothing of this and I also believe it would be even a bigger obstacle to overcome.
I have been in the situation of non continual support but I believe I took a different road to how it was handled then you. I did not rely on the support as a means to suplement my income to live on. I used it when it did come as a bonus and paid the bills owed for the care of the child. When the child moved out after their 18th birthday, what was left in the account was given to them.
Don't get me wrong I believe he does owe the money to the state and to your children. I feel in some period of time the support was set to high when he was unemployed, either by choice or not. It sound like by your own posting the amounts of funds didn't come in nor were they adjusted. which started the snow ball effect and the anger by both you as mother and Richard as father.
Again this is not your fault for the non-receipt of the funds.
Susie
#210 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
Lori- You make a valid point. I understand in this situation things are not handled as most of us would think they should be. However, saying that I also have to state that it is not mine, nor your place to dictate how Sharon raises her children. She brings her children into adult situations something that you or I would never consider doing at any time. To let children be children and figure things out as they go by what they experience, not what is told to them, or dictated to them on such strong emotional issues that directly affects them, seems a much better approach to parenting, but again we are not parenting Stefanie, or Steven.
Sharon and myself have already established that we disagree on parenting techniques, and it doesn't seem to change the way she parents, just as it doesn't change the way you, or I, parent our children.
We learn how to parent children AS children in my opinion. We are taught morals when we are young. We are taught by our own parents how to love, or how to hate, yes. I'm certain it is difficult for these two children to grow up going through battle after battle with their father, who they have not seen in so many years. They do not consider him a parent or a father. These children do not even know this man that they hate so much.
Yes I also said way back when that it was to late for visitation, as these children are fairly grown, and already have a biast opinion. (put in place by words spoken, and battles played out by the adults, over the years.) However, I was corrected by another reader who said it's never to late to start a relationship with your children. I had to evaluate that, and I came into agreement with the fact that it was more accurate in point. To say it's to late is to give up hope. A parent must never give up hope of finding or building that relationship no matter how old the child is.
Susie- As for how Sharon spends the child support, Sharon is accurate that it is not anyone's business besides her own how she spends that money. The law does not make the custodial parent show how they spend that money. I have heard story after story about how the non-custodial parent is upset about funding a life in which he thinks is unfair. Until the one receiving child support has to (by law) be accountable for how they spend the money, it can technically be spent however they deem fit.
It appears in this situation it is used as part of the household income rather than placed aside in an account, or spent on the children themselves. I agree with your technique of putting it into an account for the children, but some people do not have that luxury, and some people do not have that financial disapline. That is a mere fact of who the individual is, and how they were raised, of what is right and wrong, a "conviction" if you will. Again that is neither here nor there really when it comes to Richard losing his job. How she spends the money does not dismiss the debt owed.
However, I do believe you are correct, and Richard can take this back to court and have his amount lowered. I believe he is paying $900 and something a month right now, well that can add up quickly when your unemployed.
I for one would never come to a public forum and feel it ok to attack my ex for the mere fact of attacking him. However, I do understand being pushed by the ex to the point of breaking ethics, and morals with the result of wanting to "let it all out." Hence, I understand where Sharon is coming from, I may not agree with all of it, but I do understand her position.
#211 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Susie - Minneapolis (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
Laura:
I agree and respect Sharon for not stating how the funds are spent. I was just trying to make a point as to what is being done for the sake of the children. There are many funds owed in arrears and has been stated in this site and her own website indicating she is doing this for her children. If this is the case the daughter should be receiving the money for her support directly after she turns 18.
As for the laws there are some already where the two incomes are taken into consideration and it is firgured on this basis.
Susie
#212 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, July 02, 2006
I believe what you are speaking of (susie) is the fact that support enforcement rules take the two incomes into account and divide it to decide an amount owed? If that is what your talking about, my understanding of this "law" (which I believe is actually a guideline) is put in place for the amount of support to be specified only. I do not believe this entitles anyone to know how the money is spent.
I am not that firmiliar with the enforcement guidelines, so maybe someone with a little more insight may be able to determine more factual responses to that.
#213 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Susie - Minneapolis (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, July 03, 2006
POSTED: Monday, July 03, 2006
Sharon: I needed to reply to your Karma comment "catch 22". It really is a catch 22 as you are very diligent in making sure the enforcement is in effect and everyone including Richard is aware of this. What my meaning of the catch 22 was due to these facts it is a cause and effect. You make sure payments are being made, and when they are not you take steps and go as far as contacting Richard, to make sure he is aware of your displeasure. What you are probably not aware of is due to your actions it turns around and effects your household due to no support or spotty support.
Stop and think about the senerio for a few minutes. Richard is currently paying albeit it is not the amount you should receive but he is paying. You are not please you are not getting the court ordered amount so instead of the system working on its own you contact them to make sure leins etc are updated. What maybe four times a year or more? Did you ever have a chance to have a calm converstation with Richard to determine if the current job he was working at actually was set at the proper guidelines?
The questions for Richard and his wife are did you just decide not to fight the amount owed each month as you feel this is the only way he is able to show his children he really does care and it is not worth the arguement? I have friends in this boat as well and it is a slow leak.
Laura: I feels the child support laws should be changed to follow the guidelines when a parent receives SSI for them. Each and every year you do need to provide a vague accounting of the funds. As what is currently being enforced you are correct. The states are getting there but are not quite up to par.
#214 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, July 03, 2006
POSTED: Monday, July 03, 2006
The guidelineds for child support are based on the parents ability, what they have made in the past, their earning ability. That way when they take a job that is beneath their earning abililty the law holds them accountable.
In my case, Richard didn't even see fit to fill out his papwerwork. That is correct, he didn't FILL OUT THE PAPERWORK. The only one that he has to blame for the amount that he owes is himself. I was required to fill out a fininacial statement disclosing all of the income that I contribute to my household as well as what my husband contributes, I also had to disclose my insurance and what it does and doesn't cover. When I took him back to court to bring things up to guidelines, because for years they weren't brought up to guidelines but amount that him and I had settled on, is when the phone callse to my work started. He would tell my co-workers how I keep his children from him, his wife misrepresented herself as a prospective employee to find out what my benefits were because he didn't believe that my health insurance doesn't cover the kids's eye exams. That is all paid out of my own pocket. He has never ONCE paid any of the children's medical. He had them on his medical WAY BACK but it didn't cover my area so it did no good.
As far as my finances. My husband and I make enough to take care of the kids, but with the help of child suppport I am able to get the extra things that normally takes me time to save the money for. But again my financil situation is no ones business but my own. The children do have a college fund set up. The money is strickly used for college, nothing else. We (my husband and I) are in the process of getting Stefanie's car fixed up for her. She will be getting her license for her 18th birthday, which is only 2 months away.
As for the kids hating Richard, you actually have to know someone in order to hate them. From the phone conversations that each have had, mind you it is very minimal, they were able to form their own opinion, remember my children are older. Although you may not agree with the way that my children have been raised, you haven't been there to raise them, my current husband and I have. Richard isn't the one that takes them to the doctor, to school, to friends, or anything. That is not my fault but his own.
As for what is coming next who knows. He has either quit, got fired, maybe moving to Florida, going overseas with the National Guard unit, helping with the flooding situation, or the moon who knows. All that is known is that he is unemployed yet again.
#215 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Lori - Kalkaska (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, July 03, 2006
POSTED: Monday, July 03, 2006
that child support is set per the parents 'ability' to pay. In this day and age, with our countries current economical situation, 'ability' has NOTHING to do with what you actually earn! There are THOUSANDS of people, especially in our state, who have been displaced from high paying jobs due to downsizing, bankruptcy etc. of the employer in question. These people not only LOST their 'ability' to make the wages that they once did, but many can't even find another job paying over minimum wage.
No ones' child support should be based on what they made in the past, or even what they are capable of doing, but instead, base it on WHAT THEY ACTUALLY MAKE! Richards current support amount is $900 give or take, correct? Well, if he's working the kind of jobs that we see available around here, he's bringing home $750-$1200 per month (and the high end here is IF he managed to get into one of the local factories, and has a job that allows 40 hours a week vs the normal 34 presently offered). By the time that he pays for his gas to get to and from work @ the current price of $3.00+ per gal, there simply isn't enough paycheck left to even come close to paying the child support as ordered.
As for people taking jobs that are beneath their abilities, honestly, how many people do you know that would deliberately take a pay cut just to spite the other parent by not paying child support? If you make enough money (by ability here) to owe $900 per month in child support, that means that you have an income of approx $3600 after tax income per month. Even given that he paid $900, he'd still have $2700 per month to spend on his household and their comfort. Only a fool would give that up just to spite a woman he was married to many years ago.
Sorry if I've put any noses out of joint here, but hubby and I support a family of 11 (currently) on $2000 per month. We have a mortgage on a nice home, 10 acres, cable, telephone, heat in the winter and a/c in the summer. Do we struggle? The simple answer is yes. However, none of our children have ever gone hungry, been cold or too warm (we have a differently abled daughter who cannot be in temps about 75 degrees), or without clothing. Nope, we don't go out to dinner very often, never to the movies, and they don't have college funds, having to earn scholarships instead.
Maybe if child support, like SSI were set at the same monthly amount for everyone, you wouldn't see so many people behind on their support. You can't tell me that it takes an additional $900 per month to raise 2 children. If that were the case, with the 9 kids still at home, I'd need $4050.... Gee, now that I think about it, what a nice life it would be.
#216 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, July 03, 2006
POSTED: Monday, July 03, 2006
I'm fairly certain when you collect SSI you have to be accountable for where the money is spent.
Child support is another matter altogether.
Sharon doesn't collect SSI, so there is no relevance in even stating SSI here in this case.
I will look up the child support guidelines for California. Here in Oregon, I know it is based on the ability to pay, and by that it only means, if you have no job, you are still "capable" of making minimum wage in their eyes. (meaning not disabled) You are then placed on minimum wage guidelines. It is always based on the two incomes of each parent. Both parents are "capable" of earning min wage at least. THAT is where "ability" comes into play.
If you are "capable" or have the "ability" of making more than minimum wage, but are unemployed you are still put on the minimum wage guidelines, not what you made in the past at the $25.00 an hour job you had 2 years ago.
If you are currently employed at the $25.00 an hour job and the custodial parent makes let's say less then or min wage, both incomes are taken into account as always and the amount is set.
Visitation time comes into play there as well. If the non-custodial parent has 50% in the eyes of support enforcement under their guidelines, (technicaly is not even close to 50% of the actual time) they deduct that time spent, off of child support owed. If both parents earn the same amount, and the non-custodial parent has 50% time, the CUSTODIAL parent can end up paying the non-custodial parent child support. Now how do you like that! Usually this doesn't happen, but in rare instances this has occured. Look up Child support calculator online, and check it out for yourself. Now in California it may be different, I'll look it up.
Lori- I agree with you. I think $900. and something a month is way to high for anyone to have to pay in child support. I think Richard can get that lowered if he tried. He doesn't seem to take things to court, even if for his own benefit, I don't know why.
#217 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, July 04, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, July 04, 2006
There is hers and his. As for the lack of respect for the National Guard I must say that is really nice. At one time Stefanie was talking about joining and its nice to know how you really feel about an organization that defends our country. One that allow us to have the freedom we do. One that allows you, Sharon to have the freedom of speech which is a benefit you seem to take advantage of.
As for the card you are right I do have it sitting in my kitchen, not trying to make excuses. I also have a sick relative that is at our house too. Please don't add your two cents in about that you have done enough damage already in statements about her past husband. Don't sugar coat that you would never say anything you have in the past and that has been admitted. I have lost four family members in the last two years so I will take care of remaing ones to the best of my ability and I am sure all would do the same. Considering the fact I have lost five family members in the last two years I would like to help take care of the ones I've got left. I am sure anyone would do the same.
Penny for your thoughts Sharon. Your phone isn't working nor your cell. No, he will not call you at work or fax you. You already made it clear and I will beat the dead horse once again that he is not to call you at work either. Furthermore, it would be inappropiate to discuss any of the issues during at your place of employment.
As for myself, I would like to know why you fabricate things about what I do. Do you sit at work and home and think of things to write that I did to you.
Wasn't you who said that I would speak to you on the phone because you were to mean? If I really am this person you have stated me to be then why would I be intimidated by you at all? Everyone can be mean but how would I get a hold of your co-workers and rant and rave about you? Why would I call to find out your benefits? How do you know it was me? Do you have something in writing or a taped message with my name on it? No you don't it iis called assuming and we all know what that means.
I do apologize to come in this attacking manner but there is two sides to every story.
Since we can't call you or get a hold of you and you want to know the story then CALL you obviously have our number as stated in the past. Never stopped you before.
I am sorry about Stefanie shopping trip but if you and your husband are doing so well why would you need that money for bills. The child support is for the children and if she needed clothing then isn't that what it is for? Your right none of my business because it isn't. Or is it? That part is still a grey area. When it is convient it is my part and when the bashing begins it's not.
Again, your not being real fair here. You claim that you contact the State of Connecticut and it was the 24th or so that he was no longer employed but that is not the truth and you still should be receiving child support. I don't know where you came up with he went to the office and paid 17.00 or so. He never stepped foot into any child suppport office and claimed this is all he was paying and no more. Don't you think being in a child support office and making a comment like that he might not have left that office? Doesn't make any sense.
Or did he get on a plane to pay 17.00 or so to Monterey? Wouldn't he have tried to see the kids then? They certainly wouldn't have let him go.
Again, to everyone else I didn't get a chance to read all but skim parts and I do not mean to be attacking but when the journey had ended as stated later and then the bashing started sometimes you just get sick and tired of the same thing over and over..
Couple questions I would like to ask the others. Two sides to every story correct? Can't contact her so if there was a problem how could he? Also, is this really for the benefit of the kids or a self love/hate obsession and the fact of not letting go? How would this effect a current marriage? Wouldn't a spouse get fed up after a while about hearing about the ex-husband who she left by her choice? How can that relationship be healthy? If the energy in the resentment was put into the marriage instead of the children it would be a pretty good realtionship.
#218 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, July 04, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, July 04, 2006
The defendant noncustodial parent did not provide an income and expense declaration. DCSS has some information about his earning history but his earning ability and his current earnings are unclear. Attached hereto as Exhibit A is a copy of a report from an employer showing that for the 6.63 month period from January 1. 2005, through July 19, 2005, he earned $17,208.26 as a XXXX XXXX XXXX, which works out to $2,595.57 per month ($17,208.26/6.63=$2,595.57/month) The employer reported that he quit. Information available to DCSS from the Case Worker Query Tool shows that the defendant earned $55,487 from XXX XXXX XXXXX XXX over the 12 month periond from April 1, 2003, through March 31, 2004. This works out to an average montly gross of $4,624($55,487/12=$4,623.92).
It appears that he also has income as a XXXXXXX XXXXXXX of $174 per month; the XXXXXX XXXXX and the defendant's pay grade and years of service are unknown. For purposes of calculating child support, DCSS used $2,770 ($2,596+$174=$2770) but the use of a higher figure may be more appropriate. The mother reported that the father admitted that he has a new job but that he would not provide more information about it. There is an indication that he may have been ordered to XXXXX XXXX but that is unclear. The defendant has no known deductions.
The mother stated that she has the children 100% of the time. At this point, nothing has been received from the father but he lives in another state. A visitation factor of $-0-% was used for purposes of calculating child support.
The attached calculation reports, Exhibit B, show that the defendant should be ordered to pay a total of $948 per month for ongoing child support.
That is taken directly from the court papers that were also mailed to him. HE NEVER FILED HIS PAPERWORK. I filed all of the required paperwork and did what I was supposed too. He didn't even, after stating in an e-mail that I received from him, that he would have representation at the court hearing, he didn't.
Lori-I can understand where you are coming from with the SSI, I do have friends that are on SSI, which is based on different calculations. I am happy that you have a nice house with plenty of land and lots of property. Are all 9 children yours biologically, or did you adopt? I have a sister in law who has 5 children. I chose to stop having children after I had 2 because I couldn't afford to have anymore children after that, CA economy is different then Michigan economy. If you have been anywhere near where I happen to live at, the cost of a house, anything decent that isn't in gang territory or has a high drug crime rate is starting at $400,000.00 and no that isn't a misprint.
Now both my husband and I do work and have always taken care of my children. LEGALLY he is responsible too. LEGALLY he made the choice to NOT fill out his paperwork. If child support is set too high for him, then he had time to do something about it but chose not too. He only has himself to blame, not me or the kids. At the last court hearing when he did have a voice, over the phone, the judge told him that he was responsible for getting the children health care and that he would be paying child support long after the children turn 18. The only issue before the court now is uncovered medical which is being taken care of.
Still have heard nothing from his spokesperson or any of his family members.
Everyone, have a Happy and Safe 4th of July!!
#219 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, July 04, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, July 04, 2006
I e-mailed Sharon's other site to call and she did. She wanted Rich but he wasn't here so the tit for tat began. Although, it really never ended except with the famous hanging up. She did encourage me to do so during the screaming but I insisted I wouldn't. On the other site she posted there was no resolution. How can there be a resolution when one party doesn't like the conversation or how it is going and ends it.
So all you know: First she states the state does not have to tell her where he works only he is working, he would voluntarily call in the past to update her. She would proceed to call his employment to try and enforce the order even though it was already given. In one instance, he hadn't even started his first day. Do you think employers want to be bothered and harassed with that? Jobs are a dime a dozen and they could hire the next guy before he even starts so they don't have to be the go between.
I had a conversation, well a screaming match. It ended up being who could scream louder so I did stop, gets you no where and she couldn't hear anything trying to scream over me anyhow.
I got accused of trying to be the children's mother and I quickly corrected that. I have done no such thing. I really don't understand how or where that comment came from.
Again, it was reiterated that the children may speak how they wish to Rich and his family. I referred about his father's death. I was told various colorful words about if I didn't agree with her parenting tactics that was to ***** bad. I pointed out that it was a matter of morals and values too. She proceeded with he mentioned the death of her mother which he did not. He stated something about when they got divorced, again screaming was going on so maybe it was misunderstood and I tried to explain that. But there is her way or no way and I will elaborate more later in this. I mentioned the fact of speaker phone and was told she doesn't like to hold the phone to her ear. I understand that it is annoying but when the conversation is getting heated why let the children listen.
Unfortunately, I could barely get a word in edge wise with all the yelling. At the middle we did talk calmly but then the yelling started with the hang up there after.
See, I have come to the conclusion, maybe wrong that this is going to have no resolution because she doesn't want one. I believe that was even stated in an earlier post.
The talk of visitation was brought up and also Las Vegas. She told me she doesn't like any of us so why would she go on a vacation with us. First, this is a man she has slandered all over and a man she made very clear was her husband and the father of her kids. How is he suppose to develop a relationship when she can't put her feelings aside. Obviously, they will listen to their mother or has she stated they are minor children and I have control on everything.
Second, I told her you wouldn't let him see the kids even if he went there.(CA) She said don't show up on her door step without arrangements with her. Also, they would have to be supervised visits. Well, she doesn't like any of us though? Not saying my feeling are hurt in the least but I do feel for the kids. That is who loses in all this. I was told that Stephanie is 17 and Steven still a minor so she has the say as custodial parent. I did mention in a couple of months she will be 18 and then what?
I again mentioned the sperm donor comment due to the fact that is a rude term to tell children. While I was on with her she said that is all he is. He only does what is required. They aren't allowed here like most kids spend a week or so for vacations and summers with the other parent. See, that is not allowed unless it is under her terms, her conditions in California. I asked why so you could have him arrested as soon as he arrives? No comment to that though. I also said that if he went into a support office and paid 17.00 and change and refused to give more why wouldn't they arrest him? Her response was that they won't arrest him in the office. Obviously, she had looked into this. Who would benefit from that, him sitting in a cell?
She said everything will go through the court system now. Yes, he could get visitation or try but she is not flexible at all and that comment summed it all up.
She resents me very much one minute I am the step mother, the next trying to be the mother and then I should mind my own business, OH but wait I married into it and was aware, yes I am aware and so is everyone on the internet.
The point is a conversation can't be had if one party doesn't want to speak only scream, rant and rave. How would a resolution be made? I tried to speak calmly after the initial tit for tat but then she just wanted to scream. I told her the problem was she still was upset I was with Rich but she left.
Have a good night---Sure I will talk soon since I am the official spokesperson and all. Rich decided not to go on this because he feels certain things are personal. I will admit I do too but I will not watch my family or my husband be slammed over and over. Everyone is entitled to their opinion so I should be too.
The shame of this whole thing is that Sharon and I could have a pleasant relationship for the sake of the kids and let's face it if she feels she needs something she could talk with me along with Rich. I am not saying she can't talk with him. But as the theory goes behind a good man is a better woman. The awful part is the children hurt in this. Both hers and Rich's along with mine. My daughter has ? siblings that want nothing to do with her or our family. How does that make her feel? Rich's and Sharon's kids have been around the idea for so long that their father is nothing but a sperm donor. It's not like she walked into a sperm bank and received shots to conceive.
#220 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kathy - Vernon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, July 04, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Sharon,
Big deal he quit his job. He did that knowing he had a new one that would benefit him and his family (all children) better. Maybe if you could take a moment sit back and really think not everything is about hurting you or inflicting pain on you. You just might get it. He wants to continue paying you and supporting the children. Think about what the real reason is that he has not attacked on this website. He has not done or said anything to you that he will have to explain down the road to the kid's. I commend him for that because at this point nothing he says or does will make a difference as long as you control them. Obviously you started this blog to drag Richard down. So what if he changed jobs to better himself so he can payoff the State of California and continue to pay child support. His payment is taken out of his check weekly and he has not gone without a check even changing jobs which means you should be getting a check regularly. Get your dates correct becacuse they are wrong. He was still working at his job and started a new one to better himself.
What he was making three years ago was a good paying job and then circumstances came about none of which are your business but if you followed the news you would be aware that the aircraft industry was really hit hard here and all over the United States. You can claim whatever you would like. But make sure what you are claiming is factual. Which brings me to another point. In your original divorce decree it stated nothing about child support correct? So at the beginning you did not request child support correct? Why was that? Let me guess because that would have affected your welfare status. When did you seek support? Don't get me wrong if you used the system not abused the system then fine. But apparently you and your husband both are working making good money why are you still in HUD housing? How can it be that you have college funds setup for the children when you require housing assistance? I am a little confused? I know for fact that you work for a State College. Is that your College Fund? If it is then you are not in fact putting money away that is as benefit that you have and what a great one. I could care less what you do with any money you earn or receive. I have a problem that you are still getting assistance and do not need it. I am sure there are people out there that do need it and cannot get it because you are receiving it under false statements. If I am wrong then prove it! For the record Richard did not go and make a payment in person ($17.00) + change. Was that a payment made from The Government because he is in the Guard? Who did you speak with? I am sure being that you are so detailed you got a name why don't you provide that along with the phone number so this can get straightened out. There is no way Richard would go into the North End of Hartford to pay $17.00 in person and I also know there is no way anyone at the agency would tell you any comments made by him if he did go there. GET REAL!!!!! You seem to have a habit of twisting the truth. Bottom line is what he owes the State of California is his business what he owes and pays you is yours. Find a new hobby I hear knitting is relaxing maybe you can make a towel to cry into you poor thing! I thought you were done with this BLOG. Apprently not just like the majority of what you say seems to be BULL!!!!
#221 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, July 05, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, July 05, 2006
What did Sharon say negative about the National Guard? If she would have stated anything negative I would be the first to be in an uproar, as my ENTIRE family has been deployed at one time or another to include this war. If your going to come out swinging you should be careful that you read thourally, otherwise your actions may be misinterpeted as nothing more than rage.
It seems you are under a lot of stress at the moment with your comments. I am sorry for your loss of family members, and I wish the best for your sick one at home at this time.
This thread seems to only post when it feels up to it for the day. Hope this reaches you.
All the best-
#222 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Susie - Minneapolis (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, July 05, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Sharon:
I am in question to one of your comments. You stated: "At the last court hearing when he did have a voice, over the phone, the judge told him that he was responsible for getting the children health care and that he would be paying child support long after the children turn 18."
Did you really mean to say he would really be paying back support or arrearages long after the children turn 18? This portion I would agree with the above leads one to believe the amounts set prior to the children turn 18 will continue to build.
Also, if he gets the children health care will you use the health care from another state as it is out of the network? Which once again will give you something else to squabble about as you will not be happy how much money you will now be needing to put out of your pocket. I will guarantee it will go up.
Again, I do not want to upset you or want you to feel as I am attacking you. What I am starting to put together is your support for your daughter who will be 18 soon will no longer be accumulating and the amounts owed will begin to lower for Richard if the support continues to come in as ordered. In your posts here are as in your website posts, it is starting to sound like someone who is worried of they will not be able to continue in the lifestyle they are living in currently.
Sharon: Please be careful as you are making this in a money thing instead of for the children. You have stated in your site if he wants to see the kids it is on your terms and your terms only. You also stated it would have to be supervised visitation. Was this court ordered? If not you do not have a legal leg to stand on to follow through with it if it is not the case. But then it doesn't matter as the children refuse to see him as well.
I am now understanding better with each posts from you here as well as your website why Richard from the start has stayed away from you. It is not he doesn't love his children it is he doesn't want to deal with you. I understand this has effected the children but the hate you have sent on this site as well as yours is one of pure down right meanness.
Again, I am not saying he doesn't owe the money and it will be paid eventually.
#223 Ex-Employee
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, July 05, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Apparently, one of mine didn't post again.
I wanted to say I didn't mail the card that actually is sitting in my kitchen. I haven't mailed it due to some family situations. I do have a sick relative at the house which I am taking care of some business for along with monitoring her. Not an excuse, Sharon. I have lost enough family in the last two years I will take care of the ones I have. Since her husband passed away(can all read above the lovely comments about that.) she got sick and some things needed to put in order. So please don't knock me for doing so. Family is important to me.
If it wasn't for your family you wouldn't have anyone really except I might add some close friends who I treated and love like family.
I will mail it first chance I get. The statement of all words no action is line of bull. Those kids always got what Rich or I promised to send. Maybe later but they did get sent and not forgot about. Although, you want to harp on the card when supposively she didn't want us involved in graduation. Which is it? If she is looking for the card that wouldn't make sense? Or is it you for another thing to nitpick on? So you can say what bad people we are.
For your information my name is Kelly not spokesperson. I require a little more respect as I teach my daughter too. To respect.
Maybe the respect problem is a bigger issue than we all thought. If the adult can't or doesn't show respect how can the children be taught to? Just go around saying whatever you want. Don't get me wrong I am not saying you, Sharon should not speak your mind it is your right. But I have a name, I am sorry if you don't like it and the reason for that we all know. No need to go on any further.
#224 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, July 06, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, July 06, 2006
Good Morning
Susie-If you don't like what you read or my site you can move on and visit another site. The purpose here is to hold him accountable for his failure to uphold his responsibilities. Hence taking him back to court and getting things set at guidelines. I have done that. As I posted a while back, if he quits his job again, and I find out I will post his name all over again.
He will not get away with treating my children that way. I say my children because they are just that, my children. I have (along with my husband) been the only responsible parents in their lives. Richard made a choice a long time ago, Kelly (spokesperson, because that is what you amount too, you pretend that you know what the truth is but you only know what he sees fit to tell you you seemed surprised when I gave you some background as to why I left. Even though you kept confusing love with left!! How many times did you have to say that you were the one ******* him instead of me?? and how I was jeloous of this fact, again I LEFT HIM, I DIVORCED HIM-there are still people who can't read) is now feeling the repercutions of those choices. He didn't take care of his responsibilities and yes he will be paying long after they turn 18. He owes arrearages, they don't go away.
I don't make lite of the National Guard or any branch of the military. My father, grandfather and uncles have all been in. My father is a disabled Vet and I am very proud of his service. When I lost my grandfather he was given a full mititary honors burial, as will my father when it is his time.
Now let's see who can actually read.
-I left Richard. Did not clean out the house, only had a Mercury Tracer took clothing and personal items for myself and the kids (Kelly you know why I left him, I told you)
-I divorced Richard. I have the divorce papers and the police report where I had to file him as a missing person in order to get the divorce.
-He will be held accountable for not taking care of his responsibilities. Hartford Support is the one that said he had no job reported to them. He came in and paid 17.?? and said he was no longer employed as of 6/24/06. I found out on the 30th. As I promised I reposted him.
Now, he needs to be working, he also needs to obtain health care for the kids that I can actually use. He also needs to pay the kids medical, which yes has been mailed to him.
He is the only one who can repair his relationship with the kids, not me. Kelly stated that she would make sure he contacted the kids by mail, not me. Send don't send do whatever you want.
Have a nice day!!!
#225 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, July 06, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, July 06, 2006
Susie/Kathy-If you are offended by the web site or by my postings it is your right to go to another site, or you can send an e-mail to me. Either way it is your choice.
Kelly (Spokesperson)-you have acquired this name because that is what you are, Richard's spokesperson. If you don't like the name then stop speaking for him. And as far as respect goes, that is something that you earn, no you haven't earned mine, so I won't show you any, just like you won't show me any. You don't like the way that I talk then don't contact me.
Apparently there are people who still cannot read-
-I LEFT HIM, NOT LOVED AS YOU KEPT ON SAYING. I LEFT HIM. Would you like it phonetically too.
-I HAD POSTED THAT IF HE QUITE HIS JOB AGAIN THEN I WOULD POST IT OVER AGAIN. I HAVE DONE THAT.
-I DIVORCED HIM AND MOVED ON WITH MY LIFE-You found out things just in the short yelling/conversation that we had that you didn't know, or that is not how it was told to you. He was a reserve police officer not a full fledge police officer, we couldn't afford to put him through the police academy. He was let go for excessive force with a baton. Now you have to deal with the repercussions of him not telling you the truth but after so many years I am sure that he has "brainwashed" you too, just as you claim I have done with the kids. The saying may go that behind every good man is a good women, there is another one, behind every fool is also another fool.
-I WOULDN'T INSULT THE NATIONAL GUARD OR ANY BRANCH OF THE Military. My own family has been in the service and my father is a Vet too. My grandfather also retired from the Navy as well as my Uncle, and another Uncle of mine is retired Army.
Get a job-pay your support.
Get health insurance like you are supposed too, one that can be used here in Monterey, CA.
Pay the medical bills that have already been sent to you.
#226 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Susie - Minneapolis (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, July 07, 2006
POSTED: Friday, July 07, 2006
Sharon: As for whether I will move on or not. I is my right as well as yours to post here or anywhere on the internet. If you don't like what I write don't read it.
As for the medical insurance. It is usually set as what is affordable for the parent required to provide it. This does not mean if you feel it is useable or not. Also if the insurance is provided it also reduces what is used as a base line for support as well as Richard's new families medical care costs. So Richard and Kelly fill out the paper work since he is currently unemployed and make sure you just fill out the information on him.
Sharon: When you first started posting I felt bad for you. I no longer do. As my daughter says you are a type of person who enjoys drama and stirs it up in every avenue you possibly can.
No one from Richards side has ever stated to you he does not owe the support. Instead of creating drama just contact the support offices as I am sure you are very capable of doing daily. If you step back you will be able to see what you are doing. It is not and I repeat not TRYING TO COLLECT THE SUPPORT owed. Calling daily or even weekly who is employed will not make them get out there to look for a job!
You have created a dig in your heals situation so if you back off you will find things will run much smoother.
Just food for thought, and I will continue to read what you write.
Have a great day!
#227 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kathy - Vernon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, July 07, 2006
POSTED: Friday, July 07, 2006
Sharon:
In response to your comment that maybe I should go to another report my answer to that is NO. You atrted this mud slinging and I am standing up for my friends. You clearly do not know how to tell the whole truth. Because I and others do not agree with you. Due to the fact that myself and others do not agree you try to act like you are superior and all knowing. You are misrepresenting the facts and that is clear to those who can read and comprhend what your aare posting. You made this public so deal with it. I find it funny that in my last postI asked a few questions and obviously you cannot answer them because the truth would not be in your best interest. I have said it once and I will say it again he should pay what it owes and is a legitimate expense not what you have fabricated in your shady accounting practices.
As for the relationship with the children and Richard it will happen and you will be the one answering why you had to bring their pain to public forum. You are also, creating damage by bringing their pain to total strangers and I am certain this will afeect their future relationships. Stop the nasty comments and just focus on what this is really about MONEY. As for his job I highly doubt you were given this information from Hartford , CT because that was false too. You have no legal right to know where he is working. The State of Connecticut does and they cannot give that information to you or anyone else. Richard employer has been paying bottom line. Stop trying to be superior you are not you have frauded the Government and it will come back to bite you. Remeber KARMA!
My wish is that you can stop the unhealthy bashing and just continue to live the happy life you claim to have. Take you child support that you are receiving and go on with your life. GET OUT OF THE PAST. Oh and by the way you did say LOVE not LEFT maybe it was a little early and your thoughts were confused. No bug deal why are you dwelling on it?
Susie:
No matter what you say to her she is right. She feels above ALL of us and feels she has lived the worst possible life. She would never be able to walk in any of our shoes because she is narrow minded and selfish. I am a very close family freind to Rich and Kelly and I am not saying what has been said regarding the personal attacks on Sharon is right. However, I have seen paystubbs showing child support deducted. I have seen the gifts purchsed. I have also heard phone conversations from Sharon. I have also, seen the so called medical bills of which I am not surprised that a judgement has not been sent for payment. They are half brained and I hope she does not do this for a living. I am tired of the constant display of ignorance she shows. But I will continue to voice my opinion because that is what true friends do. Again, I do not have to agree with everything that Kelly or Richard have done or said but I will stand behind what I feel is right. Bottom line is this as long as she keeps running her mouth I will continue to defend Richard and Kelly because what she is doing is spiteful and hateful not in the best interest of the children.
#228 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Marie - COLTON (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, July 07, 2006
POSTED: Friday, July 07, 2006
Sharon I agree with Susie I to felt bad for you to start with but as time goes by and reading all that you post it is very hard to side with someone who is only out for revenge. You stated My husband and I make enough to take care of the kids, but with the help of child suppport I am able to get the extra things that normally takes me time to save the money for. Yet the first time your child support was late you tell your daughter that you can't shop for her because Richard lost his job so I'm I to believe that you are being honest with your children or just trying to keep the hate alive. One check should not have put your finances so far back that you have to pay your bills and not have a nice day with your daughter.
After stating that this coment is for Laura you stated (Who is this Richard that makes it okay for him to do the same exact things the other threads say their absent parent does, and not get the same replies from readers? Why is it okay for Richard but not for Mr. X on the very next thread?)I don't think that anyone has said that Richard has not done things wrong but Sharon has gone way out of her way to bash him and not all is true one minute she says one thing the next it's another and if you see that on another thread I have seen you question the mother so you can't compare threads.
This maybe just me but I don't count on child support to pay my bills because I can't count on it maybe if you just live your life for you & your family you would be happier let the Richard thing go he will have to pay at some point but the anger you have and pass to your children is NOT HEALTHY and will only make them bitter people for life. Some times in life we have to turn the other way as hard and unfair as it may be but for the better of all concerned it's just somehting we do. I live for the phrase WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND I don't dish out what I don't want coming back.
Sharon do you want him to call because in one breathe you do and the next you don't or do you only want him to call if it's about money. I don't think he should have to tell you anything about his job or lack of one it seems to me if he lets the official people know then that should be all he is required. Did it ever acure to you that maybe the child support division makes mistakes or gets behind on things or is that only exceptable when it benefits you. I remember back when you stated Richard never has his paperwork but the last time you went to court it was you who didn't have it or no it was the child support division Your words Sharon Unfortunately, the child support division is so back loaded the office didn't receive the paperwork to put it into the system until 6/8/2006. So it has taken three month for the paper to make it from the courthouse to the child support office.
I wonder why I question Sharon?
#229 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Chuck - Palm Harbor (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, July 07, 2006
POSTED: Friday, July 07, 2006
Sharon;
I stumbled on this site by accident. Makes me glad to have grown children and past the point of having more quite frankly.
If you have a Lein on the house, execute it, sell it at auction and get your pound of flesh and then some.
If you haven't shamed him into changing his ways at this point, chances are you never will.
#230 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, July 07, 2006
POSTED: Friday, July 07, 2006
Kathy-I am not concerned with your responses, as I have written if you don't like them then move on. For people who do know me personally, I have never cared about what people think of me, you want to argue with me I can do that too. To say that I read all of what you write, I don't. Honestly, your opinion doesn't matter to me. If you want to Kathy, start another Rip Off Report about me. If you want to question my court papers, which you have done in a previous post, they are on my computer. If you are so interested in a copy of them I am sure that Richard could contact Monterey County and get them for you.
I have stated all along that I will hold him accountable, period. If he doesn't like it, to bad. Funny thing though, Kelly couldn't answer me as to why if she has been with him for 13 years and he didn't start paying Child Support until 1998, why wasn't he paying child support back in 1993? The papers were mailed to his mother's house? Did she just forget to give then to him, or was she hoping that the kids and I would just disappear? Actually Kelly's response was that I wanted it paid by money order to me, WRONG-IT WAS NEVER SAID. When you are on AFDC at the time that I was, you are basically under a microscope, and I did nothing illegal. If she has been with him since 1993 then what happened to 5 years?? Does it matter now, no, because he is being held accountable.
Yes child support divisions are behind, there is no doubt about that, but I happen to keep up on mine.
Marie-Although you don't agree with me or how I approach things that are going on in my life, and it is your opinion, my kids are happy and what goes around does come around. You may not feel that you need to be notified of any changes that occur in your child support case but I handle my case differently. As it has been stated so many times "I am notified of any changes by my ex", that has been false. I am not notified, nor have I ever been notified by him. I am notified by not receiving the child support, then calling him to find out what is going on and end up in an argument with him. Now I am taking a different approach. Am I interested in talking with him, no, I spoke with Kelly as I have posted. It was not nice. I posted no resolution to the problem on my own web-site and she posted on Rip Off. I answered her and her friend Kathy.
Now I posted twice, basically the same thing because it took a long time to post so I figured that it didn't get posted. Even modern technology has it's flaws. As far as me posting on someone else's report, I am allowed to do so just as everyone who reads these are, so should I question you? It is none of my business nor do I care if you read other posts. There are plenty to choose from. You don't agree with me, you are entitled to that opinion. I am also entitled to my own opinion. I have responsibilities to two children, one who is getting ready for college, and one that is getting ready for high school and wants to play sports. There are added expenses. You live in CA, you know how expensive it is. I do have more expenses going out right now but I will not make an accounting to you or to anyone else, it is no ones business but mine, and I have posted that before. But, when he quits his job, which already has been admitted to, and his "wife" wants to contact me and wants to start a fight with me I will fight back, and if the child support remains unpaid, and the medical still is unpaid, because I don't take my son to the least expensive doctor, or to a quack in the box, I can post to my Rip Off report.
#231 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kathy - Vernon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, July 08, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, July 08, 2006
Sharon:
I am well aware of your so called paperwork that has been sent to the Court. Which is exactly why you still have no judgement on your last claim. The paperwork is incomplete bottom line. You cannot submit half baked figures. As for your comment about bring the children to a quack. No one said you should. Richard did provide insurance for the children. You made the choice not to submit paperwork because it was out of network. That would be your resposibility to do considering you have the bills and you are the one in control and furthermore you are the one seeking reimbursement. I know that you read my posts so stop lying that you don't. You have made the coice not to answer my questions because then the truth would be in writing. That is fine with me because that is how you are one sided and small minded. Go back Sharon and read you even admitted that Richard has always notified you when he has changed jobs. Otherwise you would have not known where he worked just that he was working. The DOES NOT give employer information out as you keep claiming. I have a family member who is vewry high up in the Support Division in the State of Connecticut and that does not happen. The only way you would get that information is if You personally know someone there and they are breaking the rules by telling you. Somehow I doubt that highly considering you are a narrow minded, self centered, dishonest person. People with those traits tend not to be very friendly or happy which is what you are showing everyone that reads this. I cannot believe how miserable one person can be. You make my ex and his girlfriend saints. I told him just today that I now know someone more miserable than him and told him to read this. He did and it really opened his eyes. He has done some pretty rotten things but he could not believe how ignorant you are. I do not think he will ever give me a hassle again about any money needed to help in supporting his children. Remember Sharon you have 2. I have 4 and none of them have ever been subjected to this level of crap you are feeding your children. For the record my oldest is going to be 23 and I adopted him when he was three. He is from my ex's first marriage of which she was ordered to pay $50.00 weekly and we never saw a dime. She had no contact which was her choice. I found her and setup the meeting because regardless of how we felt about her she was his biological mother. In the 20 years I have been with my son not once did I ever talk bad about her or comment about money. I may not have given birth to him but I gave life a happy one and he knows that. Guess what Sharon he now lives with her. I was not happy about that because I could not understand why after she left would he give her the time of day. He told me that was the past and she deserves a chance everyone makes mistakes. I will always be his mom she is Patty his birth mother. I can sit back and know I did the best thing by keeping my opions and comments to myself. As for my other 3 children they are never forced to go with their father I do however enforce the one weeekend a month rule. Teenagers need to know they cannot rule the parents or disrespect them. Believe my children know their father is not always responsible but would never disrespect him or any other adult because they know that is not allowed. Swearing and screaming is also not allowed and if it does happen they are accountable for their actions. I am raising them by myself and on Mother's Day I get recognition on what a great job I am doing by them. On Father's Day I get reccoginition because I am both 24/7 I do not try to be their friend. My purpose is to raise them to be resposible and grow to have happy families. I refuse to let them be a statistic coming from a single parent home. There are some really good books out ther on how deal with divorce. Go to the library it won't cost you a penny. YOU NEED HELP!!! I am not perfect but I pretty close to it. I know right from wrong and a lie from the truth. Look them up I think you need a refresher on the definitions.
Chuck:
Please go back and read because Sharon does not have a Lein on the house the County of Monterey does. Try reading from the beginning of this thread. Keep in mind you will need quite a bit of time to read the whole thing. It can be confusing because the dollar amounts vary just like her shady paperwork. No disrespect to you.
#232 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Susie - Minneapolis (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, July 09, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, July 09, 2006
Kathy: Please suggest to Richard and Kelly to add up all of the medical not submitted to the insurance Richard had. As I am sure it is well past the one year required deadline to submit a claim. Then when it is there turn back in court they have proof it was never submitted by SHARON, as she had the actual bills and she was being vendictive in not doing so.
Like it or not Sharon it was your duty to submit these, just because you didn't like the insurance and what was covered is not their fault, it is yours. It would have covered something and as always something is better than nothing.
Have a wonderful day!
#233 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, July 09, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, July 09, 2006
Apparently you have now taken Kelly's place as being the "Spokesperson #2".
The judgement is as follows
$948.00 per month-if he is not working and child support is not being paid he will be held in contempt.
He is responsible for 1/2 of the medical, there is no reading more into that. The bills have been sent along with the backup to show that they have been paid. Now he needs to pay me back according to what is on the court papers. If not, he will be held in contempt.
The only thing still left open is past medical which is being taken care of as I have posted before.
After all this time now you want to "speak" for him. You can tell him-
Get a job-pay your support!! If not I will post his name again. If he doesn't like it then get a job. I have an extra set of glasses in case someone still cannot read, or if you prefer contacts I have an extra set of those too.
Get health insurance that includes the Monterey Peninsula in CA (California for those who can't read). Do not make it for the Bay area or for San Jose area. As the court papers now read he is responsible for 1/2 of the medical.
There are many ways to obtain the information needed to find out if your ex-spouse is working, it is called having the correct information, which I do, and asking questions, which I do. Spokesperson #2 you would not be entitled to the information because, IT IS NOT YOUR CASE.
Have a great weekend, don't forget to call Kelly/Richard after my post, so yet again "Spokesperson #1" will have a nice/not so nice response, in defense of her wonderful husband, here is an idea-get him a copy of the Sunday paper, look in the help wanted adds, (if in fact he does have a new job, as you have written, he needs to report that to Child Support and so does his employer).
#234 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Rebekah - Freeport (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, July 09, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, July 09, 2006
I stumbled across this website by accident last week. It took me forever to read through all of the posts. Like others, in the beginning I felt sorry for Sharon. I do believe that even if she and her husband can make ends meet by themselves it shouldn't matter if she also gets an additional $9xx a month. You don't have to be able to just get by each month. It's okay to have extra money for incidentals, family trips. I think it would be insane for anyone to keep the child support records 100% seperate and split everything down the middle just to prove where the money is spent. I digress.
My point in posting is this. It is fairly easy to find out of there is really a lien against the property or not. I run a title company and this is part of my job finding liens on properties. I pulled up Richard's property appraiser record and was hoping that the Deeds, Liens, Mortgages, etc. were online as well, but I could not find them. CT is a different state since it seems things are done by Town and not County.
All it would take would be one phone call to the Clerk's office by someone to verify if there is truly a lien to see if Sharon is telling the truth or not.
This is where I feel horrible for Richard.
Sharon - Do you not realize that you have given his name and city and anyone, including a 5 year old can do a 2 second search and find his DOB, address, phone number, etc.? With that search I was able to find his property records. What's worse is it even has a picture of his home. That is such a breach of privacy. I sure would hate for someone to want to get back at me so badly that they would give out all of that information for the world to see. Any crazy lunatic could get him and know everything about him just from your posts.
Yes, Kelly or others may have done cruel things to you such as sign your name up for weight loss, etc. Yes, it's cruel and ugly. But my goodness, this is worse. They haven't gone on here and given us all of your information. Strangers.
I've realized that yes, both parties act childish. It's very apparent. I don't think either side will ever compromise. My only suggestion is for BOTH sides to go to individual and joint therapy. Yes, you are across the country from each other, but taking that step would probably benefit both sides and the children.
But will it ever happen? No. Sharon will make an excuse and cause WW3 then Kelly will get ugly and all hell will break loose. Both sides are to blame, but Sharon, if you were a responsible adult you would stop posting and just let it lie.
My daughter's biological father has only seen her 1 time when she was 6 months old. My husband has taken care of her since she was 19 months old and we have a son together. Not once have I asked or wanted one dime from him. The upside is he has not been apart of her life.
Obviously you don't want Richard apart of the kid's lives and it seems for so long he didn't either. So I can't figure out why you can't call it even. You got what you wanted by not having him around. He got what he wanted by not seeing the kids (probably so he didn't have to deal with you). Why keep dragging it out?
And like another poster asked, when you do get the rest of the money after the kids are grown and gone what will be done with it? There won't be anything left to pay towards your kids so I wonder if we'll see you at the spa.
Just my opinion.
And I will call tomorrow (Monday) to see if there is in fact a lien on his property. It's quick to do a title search. It will settle this lien thing once and for all.
#235 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, July 09, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, July 09, 2006
This case is messed up in so many ways. You all know them, so I won't start talking about them again.
I don't think any of this is doing any good for any of you. There is so much stress associated with everyone's responses. I dont know what in the world will ever happen to these kids, but I certainly hope they can realize that life is not always like this, and things that people do and don't do will matter to their own children, when that time comes.
Sharon.. can I ask you a sincere question? I am really concerned with why the money is so important. It seems like way to much stress to continually fight and go after someone for child support. Going through court battle after court battle, for what? When you file at support enforcement don't they give the money directly to you once they receive it from the non-custodial parent? Why do you have to put so much energy into this case? I am not attacking you hun, I am seriously just curious why you have to do all of this work, when we have things like support enforcement offices. (they do suck at their job, but eventually it does come around) You already have your judgement for him to pay, so what more needs to be done? I would prefer myself to live in peace, as much as possible. I understand when support enforcement drops the ball (as they do sometimes) but I think they are there to handle cases as this, and maybe it would bring you some inner peace to back off for awhile, and just let it rest for a bit. There is nothing you can do is there? Nothing you can do can accomplish getting money to your children (that is who should be receiving it) If Richard does not have a job, or if he does not have any money to send right now, then no amount of "hell raising" will change that, will it?
Yeah, it sucks.. yeah it would be nice if the paycheck was sent every month on time, but I dont think that hardly ever happens for a full 18 years with child support enforcement.. People change jobs, people move, people tend to have ups and downs financially, so there really is nothing that is getting accomplished by this force of "go after him with all you've got" thing that you have going on.
Why are you so angry with him? Are you angry because he left Cali? Are you angry that he has never been a father to your guys' kids? Are you angry he re-married? Are you angry he had a baby with someone else? Are you angry that he pays and then won't pay (that seems like more of an annoyance than something to be sooo angry about)
Usually there is a lot more going on emotionally when someone is so hell bent on going after someone so badly.
It doesn't matter what anyone says about your "shaddy math" or your way, or your traits, or the way you raise your kids even.. What does matter is when you look at those kids.. do you know for a fact that they are happy, and well balanced for their lives in front of them.
I wish you all the peace in the world Sharon.. I hope all of this fighting is worth it. I hope your children are not nearly affected by all of this as it would seem they are. I wish you and them all the luck in the world.
Peace be with you -
#236 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, July 09, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, July 09, 2006
I may have spelled your name wrong, if I have sorry for that.
In the first place, you can find anyone on the Internet. Upon doing my research I have found out all kinds of things, even on my own records. If the information can be found on the Internet, then I am not breaching any privacy acts, as the state of CT also has a most wanted on the Deadbeat Parent list. It is legal to put it out there.
As for the lien on the poperty, it was done on September 11/12, 2005. You can still go ahead and look it up though. This can be verified through the county clerk's office.
Yes I have been called every name in the book and I can dish it out to. So in your opinion I should just let it lie??? Just like you did.
That is the way that you handled your case. I keep on repeating myself and I am not going to waiver from it. Children are brought into this world all the time and are abandonded. The children are treated like they don't matter. You can bring children in but then step back and not take your responsiblity seriously. For 15 years I have raised my children, for the past 10 years has been with my second husband. So because I remarried and both me and my current husband work, the responsiblilty that my first husband and I created should be forgotten about??
I look into their faces everyday, I go to work everyday, just as my husband does, and as most people do. I worked very hard to get to where I am at, and contrary to popular belief, the kids are great kids. No, he has never come to CA to see his kids, because he didn't want to have to go to court, now he doesn't want to come because I may call the cops for his back child support that has not been paid, and that I may have him thrown in jail. Now for the 3rd time in a littel over 2 years he is unemployed yet again. The first job he was laid off from, the past 2 jobs he has quit.
Again I should just let it ride.
I am not going to let it ride. Legally, he is responsible, period. ( I have stated this many times before ).
You and everyone are entitled to your opinion, I am also entitled. I will also say as I have said before that if you don't like how I handle my situation, there are many more that you can look at and judge.
Have a good evening.
#237 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, July 10, 2006
POSTED: Monday, July 10, 2006
I appreciate your concern.
Legally I will hold him responsible, but the system doesn't work, unless you push the workers to do their job. It has taken Monterey County 6 months to update the case with the new amounts. Now CT is still waiting to update the case because it has to go through their process and yes that does take time. Even after I have faxed all of the paperwork.
I will continue to fight for what belongs to them. Again, I will not make an accounting of the money and how it is spent. They have a roof over their head, food to each, clean clothes, and people in their lives who love them.
I will always fight for what is their's and since the system is so screwed up, if you don't keep on top of the progress on your case you get pushed to the back burner. My case was on the back burner for years, now it is not, at least here in CA, even though I still cannot get the accounting on the case, but that too is going to be remedied.
The only way to get things change, as the child support laws, you have to work and actually hold the people who are supposed to be doing their jobs, make them do their jobs. Yes, I have a full-time job, two teenagers, a husband, and the work that I do on the side. I have talked it over with the kids and my husband. They are proud that I am taking a stand.
The kids are happy, healthy, and getting ready for a new school year. Stefanie is spending much of her time with her friends that are going to be going away for school, doing what a typical 17 year olf does. Steven is helping his grandfather and I am looking forward to when he comes home. There are other things in my life, my immediate family, friends, and extended family. This is only one small part of it. But to me it is worth it.
#238 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, July 10, 2006
POSTED: Monday, July 10, 2006
7/11/2006-I am often asked as to why I keep up the fight of holding my ex responsible for paying his child support and doing what he is supposed to be doing by the judgements that I have against him. The place that I work for I also went to school there to earn my degree. I brought my children with me everyday, I checked up on my son at the children's center every time that I had a break. During my 4 years there I had the opportunity to meet some of the most greatest women who were there, and like myself they too were single moms trying to get a better education so that they could take care of their children better. We would babysit for each other so that we could study, and we would try to meet near parks and stuff so that the kids would have something to do. Ten years later things haven't changed. There are still single parents that are there, who are doing it on their own and trying to make the best of their situation. There still is a need for the kind of work that I am doing. Back then I didn't have the time to hold my ex accountable because I was trying to survive. It has been 10 years since I have graduated, my children are older now, I feel that it is time to give back to society and hopefully try to make someone else's life easier by getting the information out to them. Let them know that there is someone who does care.
#239 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Susie - Minneapolis (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, July 10, 2006
POSTED: Monday, July 10, 2006
Sharon: I am very proud you are willing to assist others in need of help in weeding their way through the support system. What I disagree with is the sometimes harsh tactics you take. Just remember kindness is like honey and will get better results than Vinager.
I know people who this harsh tactic has been used against and they just plain gave up trying to obtain another job. Yes, they went to jail/prison for it. What did it get the children/mother $1.25 a week for support. The person laughed they whole time in jail/prison as the amount owed could not increase more than the $5.00 they were able to pay.
Please be aware I am not in anyway suggesting Richard will do this. As it appears even in the past when he didn't pay he never requested it to be lowered to even out what was earned or to meet the actual guidelines. This I feel was his way of showing he does care albeit sometimes a weird way to prove it.
Good luck with obtaining information for your site from all of the states. There are a lot of parents (fathers as well as mothers) who need assistance in working through the backwards system. Most of them are unable to afford an attorney and thus why the rate is so high for children not receiving the money owed to them.
#240 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, July 11, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, July 11, 2006
First of all Sharon, my marriage is fine. As you keep saying on your other post for me to move on you invited us? If you didn't want responses but only ones to benefit you then why did you e-mail us the site numerous times? Did you expect that no one would come to his defense?
Also, you stated the kids knew nothing of this site but yet on the other post made reference that your husband and children are supportive of it. Which is it?
It really is to bad I will say once again like a broken record that the kids are witnessing all the hatred and animosity that you have for Rich. I understand you may have issues with him in regards to the children but how much time a day do you spend working on this? You can't honestly tell me that you don't get upset and your husband sits in the corner and stays quiet. I am sure he is not like a dog, you tell him to lay or sit and he does. Maybe he is not home during all this who knows. I just simply stated that if your time and energy on revenge for Rich was put into your marriage it would be an awfully strong one. I didn't say that to be mean, no matter how you took it.
As for me, spokesperson #1 I will say I will continue to defend myself, him and my family as you claim you are trying to do. Why should I be any different? I am sorry if you want me to go away but I will not just as you. I am here to stay with a man that I love and will help through this and defend him and my family. Others may judge him and they are entitled to their own opinion but there is always two sides to every story. Sharon, there is not just your side. You may feel you are completely right in everything you do but there is two sides. I do hope everyone will realize that.
He would love to call the kids but we all know we don't have the home number how is he to call? Yes, he could write, will they get the letters? On the phone is a little more personable but you made sure to fix that. I know all the excuses about the phone calls you were purposively getting will come up. If he did call you would get on the phone and yell, rant and rave. After our recent conversation, I now know why he could never have a reasonable conversation with you. Although, I could always hear it across the room I thought maybe there was a chance. You don't want to have a reasonable conversation with him and that is obvious. You don't want him to have a relationship with the kids that is obvious. Maybe it just bothers you to talk to him period. There is definitely some unresolved issues besides the children that you need to deal with on your own.
In closing, on the phone you admitted that he was a sperm donor. Is a sperm donor responsible for child support? I believe if you walk into a clinic and receive an injection it is your responsibility because it is anonymous as to the donor.
Have a sparkling day..
#241 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, July 11, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Sharon - I too am very proud of you for taking a stand and helping single mothers (and fathers) work with the system, and gain the information they need, to gain support for the children left behind by the absent parent. This is a noble thing to do, and the need is very much needed in today's society.
I too have a hard time swallowing sometimes the harsh way you seem to come across. I understand the frustration, and more than likely it is just the little nudges, and immature comments, you get from Kelly, and the uneducated (wanna be lawyer) statements from Kathy, and that whole side of the family that makes you come across as angry. (although to this day I get angry reading what "grandma" had to say)
You are being attacked more than not, and I admire your courage, and strength. What it appears your trying to accomplish is "taking a stand" for your children, as well as others, and that in itself is commendable. You are only human, and with that you have feelings, and I don't know anyone would do much better with the feelings from the other side of the family being as they are in this situation. Especially concerning your children, who any real parent would understand the passion associated with protecting them.
I think you are doing a good job working with the system and I truly hope in all your endevors you have helped many mothers (and fathers) along the way.
I can tell you, you have helped me along the way.. maybe not how you would have hoped, but in my case, I wanted nothing more than for Rob (Naomi's father) to come around and see his baby. I was willing to push aside all money if I could just have that for her from him. On the other hand, a parent, (be it a mother or a father) has the responsability to help support the children they helped create, no matter what the situation with the ex is.
So again, I wish you all the luck in the world. In my case, I can thankfully say that Naomi's father has stepped up to the plate, and he is going above and beyond visitation days. This is what I was always after, however, that does not dismiss the need for the purchases of diapers, and the many many expenses that children require along the way. So, support is also being paid. However in my personal oppinion, it is not nearly as important as having a father around, as that is what the child will remember when they are your children's ages. Who they know as daddy, trips they went on, things said from daddy to them throughout the years ect ect (you know, a relationship) not what was purchased for them for xmas 20 years ago.
I am truly appauled at the fact that Richard has shown no interest towards his children's lives (in the fact he refuses to see them, or gain visitation so this can be accomplished)
In my personal oppinion, that alone (although not dictionary definitions) makes him a dead beat father.
All the best to your future Sharon -
#242 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Kendel - Cave Creek (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, July 11, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Gosh! What a mess!
Kelly, Sharon may have left the relationship and didn't want Richard anymore but, although she won't admit it, she doesn't want anyone else to have him either. It sounds like you have been together for quite some time now and it must chap her backside you two are happy and have a successful marriage.
Secondly, most courts will explain to the custodial parent, you cannot spend someone's money without their permission. Sharon has no idea what Kelly's and Richard's financial obligations are! Orthodontic work is generally considered elective, in which case insurance coverage will not cover those costs. It is at that point in time there must be a meeting of the minds and agreement before the money is spent. If there was no agreement Dad could or would cover the expense of elective work he has no obligation. Spending the money then demanding he be responsible is setting him up for failure. I understand the desire to give your children everything possible. But if the Father is behind on child support and now has elective procedures to contend with, certainly he will dedicate his finances to the obligation!
Next, most often when requesting reimbursement of uninsured medical costs, receipts, doctor's bills and so on are required to be provided. Father has no obligation to reimburse fee's based on “your good word”!
Child support is often times used as a means of “CONTROL”! Sharon, your posts ooze the need for control. I would bet every dollar I had your discussion with your children are far from unbiased conversations. In an effort to give you the benefit of the doubt though, even if they were, when your children hear you screaming obscenities and throwing accusations over the phone to Dad and Step-Mom, that will speak louder than your calm words during the one-on-one versions you share of Dad‘s wrong-doings.
Anyone of us could lose a job. After 9 years with a company, I'm sure Richard had benefits, among a certain level of income earned. Until you've gone through losing a source of income and benefits, being forced to start over, it's unfair to sum up a statement in “Get a Job!” Sharon had the system to fall back on. It has not been said Richard and Kelly relied upon tax payer dollars to get by. Based on my understanding, I apologize if I misunderstood, but she was receiving aid while Dad was unemployed, right!? Little hypocritical if you ask me!
Kelly, you will never convince this women to see your side. I hear you when you're saying she is entitled to child support. Something I think anyone who reads these posts agrees with. You fighting a war against a side that is unreasonable and unable to be rational. And the truth is, Richard probably could have made better choices somewhere along the way. But the same could be said about anyone of us reading these entries and responding. Nothing you do will ever be good enough. Nothing you say will convince Sharon or anyone else on the opposing side of your position.
Until you've lived in those shoe's, no one can understand the emotional drain Ex's like Sharon can have on people and families as a whole. No one is more committed to their child than my husband. His former wife was demanding via the court system, an unreasonable amount of child support. Additionally, she wanted us to pay 50% of private schooling. The amount exceeded $900 monthly for when child. (We have two of our own.) This amount was more than 1 paycheck and far from her version of the child support “guidelines”. This was argued between attorney's for almost two years. To our astonishment, we received a letter from the opposing attorney stating if my husband did not agree to the demanded monthly sum, he should sign over parental rights to Mom's boyfriend. My husband has never cried in front of me! His eye's welled up and he said, “This is driving me crazy! Maybe I should just pay what I can and love him from afar and hope he comes around when he grows up!” Luckily, the judge in this case saw the audacity and put a halt to the madness. My point is, sometimes, Mother's like Sharon drive a Father to go into hiding. Some men are truly deadbeats, but many get to a point where it's a matter of emotional and mental survival. The “Sharon's” of the world suck the life out of a parent! But Sharon, as righteous as you are today, your children will become adults, marry, have children of their own and probably relationship hardships. One day, after a few years of life experience under their belts, they will reflect on their childhood and see their Mom for what and who she really is.
Kelly, hang in there. You will be negatively viewed regardless of what you say or do. This thread is good for nothing more than entertainment at your families expense. Those who really know all of you know the truth about each of you. You sound like a nice lady just trying to get through life making the best choices you can. We all stumble and could be accused of making poor choices. Just remember, those who are pointing fingers at you have three more pointing right back at themselves. I agree with and support your statement Dad needs to take care of his obligation. Keep working hard to take care of the arrears and get back on track. As you achieve your goals, know that most all of us see beyond the words written here. Beyond my personal experience, Sharon's writings and chosen forum say a lot about the women and mother she really is.
#243 Ex-Employee
AUTHOR: Kelly - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, July 11, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, July 11, 2006
The first time didn't post so I am trying it again.
First of all Sharon, my marriage is fine. As you keep saying on your other post for me to move on you invited us? If you didn't want responses but only ones to benefit you then why did you e-mail us the site numerous times? Did you expect that no one would come to his defense?
Also, you stated the kids knew nothing of this site but yet on the other post made reference that your husband and children are supportive of it. Which is it?
It really is to bad I will say once again like a broken record that the kids are witnessing all the hatred and animosity that you have for Rich. I understand you may have issues with him in regards to the children but how much time a day do you spend working on this? You can't honestly tell me that you don't get upset and your husband sits in the corner and stays quiet. I am sure he is not like a dog, you tell him to lay or sit and he does. Maybe he is not home during all this who knows. I just simply stated that if your time and energy on revenge for Rich was put into your marriage it would be an awfully strong one. I didn't say that to be mean, no matter how you took it.
As for me, spokesperson #1 I will say I will continue to defend myself, him and my family as you claim you are trying to do. Why should I be any different? I am sorry if you want me to go away but I will not just as you. I am here to stay with a man that I love and will help through this and defend him and my family. Others may judge him and they are entitled to their own opinion but there is always two sides to every story. Sharon, there is not just your side. You may feel you are completely right in everything you do but there is two sides. I do hope everyone will realize that.
He would love to call the kids but we all know we don't have the home number how is he to call? Yes, he could write, will they get the letters? On the phone is a little more personable but you made sure to fix that. I know all the excuses about the phone calls you were purposively getting will come up. If he did call you would get on the phone and yell, rant and rave. After our recent conversation, I now know why he could never have a reasonable conversation with you. Although, I could always hear it across the room I thought maybe there was a chance. You don't want to have a reasonable conversation with him and that is obvious. You don't want him to have a relationship with the kids that is obvious. Maybe it just bothers you to talk to him period. There is definitely some unresolved issues besides the children that you need to deal with on your own.
In closing, on the phone you admitted that he was a sperm donor. Is a sperm donor responsible for child support? I believe if you walk into a clinic and receive an injection it is your responsibility because it is anonymous as to the donor.
Have a sparkling day..
Laura--- I will have a response for you very soon. Don't have the time right now.
#244 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, July 12, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, July 12, 2006
When I read this thread, I see everyone's point of views. Everyone seems to have a point and their position does not seem to be inappropriate (to include Kelly) Kathy, however I'm not sure about at all. I think Kathy is strange for getting so passionately involved as she is. Not being family, (yet knowing the family well) and being SO passionate about this situation leads me to think maybe Kathy is a wolf in sheeps clothing when it comes to Kelly and Richard's marriage. But I am only a stranger here, and I don't have any idea about her intentions, or the purpose of her passion with this situation. Just appears odd to me is all. (even friends of 20 years would not be THIS passionate about this usually)
I think the more recent posts are correct in that the only thing coming from this thread is entertainment for strangers and nothing more. However as I've mentioned before I wanted nothing more than a relationship built between my own daughter and her father, and seeing how "messy" things COULD get brought me to a light of what was truly important within my own case. So even if this thread really did not do any good for it's own case persay, in some strange way, it has helped others. (although I am sorry it was at what appears to be the children's expense)
Kelly I dont have anything against you, I too believe you are a good person and your beating your head against a brick wall in this situation. Giving Sharon marital advice is not something she will take (especially from you) There are obvious feelings here more than just monetary gain feelings when it comes to Richard, and this situation. It is obvious.
However, I think those feelings fluctuate and that is why you see such anger (jealousy) and then again money is the only thing Sharon has to fight about anymore with Richard. (as the relationship is not there with the children, and him.)
I think you both are trying your best in this situation, however, it has already gone to far to the point of no return when it comes to fixing this situation for the children. So all that will come of this anymore is "making your (kelly) life a living hell" while married to Richard. Sharon that is not fair for you to do, and you should try to focus on JUST the children and not Richard, or the past, with all of this.
Yes, gain the money he is responsible for paying to the kids, (nobody disputes he owes it) but you have to let him go. You just have to. He is no longer yours, he does belong to someone else now and that is something you have to let go of. If you ever loved him at all, TRULY loved him, you will be happy that he is happy, and let him go.
Child support is going to be paid even if you did nothing more from here on out, so this should end. I don't expect that it will, simply because there is some tunnel vision going on here, that nobody can detour at this time.
The best thing to do, is for Richard to get visitation with at least his son, and try to build a relationship with him. (due to the age of the children) and in time Stefanie will also come around.
BUT THIS... THIS.. is doing NO GOOD for anyone involved with this situation, and especially the children, which is all ANYONE should be concerned with anymore.
Just an outside opinion.. All the best-
#245 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, July 12, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Laura-Thanks for your comments and support/not support at times. (lol) I am glad that there has been resolution for you, and that you and Rob are able to work with each other.
Susie-Although my tactics are not to yours (and a lot of peoples) liking, I do take into consideration everything that you posted.
To clear up a misconception about myself though..since I am not known by anyone hear personally. I am not jealous of my ex-husband and his marriage. I hope his marriage is good and they are happy. I am getting ready to celebrate a wedding anniversay myself. I have known my husband since I was 7 years old and we are very much in love, and no, marriage advise is not needed from anyone. You can jump off of that band wagon. The anger that comes out in my writing is the misjustice that has been carried out for years. I cannot fix everything that is wrong, but legally I will do what I have to do.
Kendel-I am sorry to hear that your husband's ex put him through all of that.
If on the other hand you insisted on being in the middle of something that doesn't concern you though, (even though you married him and love him, you knew there was children from a previous marriage-it is best not to get involved) then you too probably have been yelled at by your ex's wife. But before you go getting all into an uproar I will clarify things for you:
Braces were a necessity for my kids, but I will not give you their medical history. The first set was paid by me from my income tax money, yes that is correct, income tax money, that means that I was working. The next three sets were also paid for by me. No were in the papers for child support or how the medical was done does it say that I have to consult him on medical treatment. Therefore, when the decision had to be made I made the correct decision, whether he likes it or not. That paperwork is being taken care of and will be resolved.
As for the current medical, it has been mailed, all of the statements, breakdowns, and showing that yes, I have paid them. There is even phone numbers of the doctors he can call, to verify that Steven was there. Steven now wears contacts, (that is by his choice, he doesn't need Richards permission) according to the court papers, Richard is responsible for 1/2 of any uncovered medical costs. This still remains unpaid.
Clarification, I was on aid from 1991-early 1997. I WASN'T ON ANY PUBLIC AID OR ASSISTANCE AFTER EARLY 1997. Child support was not paid until 1998. There is still no answer as to why during 91-98 there was no support paid? From 1992 till 1996 I was working on my degree and working as much as I could to take care of my kids.
Richard didn't get laid off until (according to the court papers) March 31, 2004. While he was laid off, for 10 months, there was no child support being paid. When he went back to work on 9/27/2005 it took a couple of months before the child support kicked in, then he quite that job on 7/11/2005. He went back to work at the end of March 2006, another 8 month break, and now as of June 26, 2006 he has yet again quite his job. All this time I have managed to hold down a job. I have never had the luxuary of quitting a job or sherking my responsibilities as he has. I understand when a person has a bad time, but when you purposely quite a job, that is another issue.
He can write to the kids and they will get the mail. It is up to HIM, not his wife, when and if there ever will be a connection.
My advise: get a job!!
That is the nicest way that I can put it.
#246 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, July 13, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, July 13, 2006
Laura-Thanks for your support and non/support (LOL-need some humor in this). I am glad that I was able to help you, that you were able to take what you needed and was able to apply it to where you needed it. It is a good feeling to know that you were helped. I wish you the best of luck in your life. Hang in there though, school and three kids, just think of the rewards in the end. All my best. SJ
Susie-Although my tactics may be harsh, they are mine. I totally stand up for what I believe in, and I also have taught my kids to do the same thing.
To clear up a misconception about me: No one on this site knows me personally, to actually sit down and have a conversation with me, there is a lot more then just fighting for my kids and the support that is legally theirs. Many think I am jealous of Rich/Kelly, I wish them nothing but the best in their marriage and in their lives. No I do not need marriage advice from Kelly, nor would I ever ask for it, and that should be speak for itself since I divorced who she is married too.
My own marriage is strong and we are celebrating 7 years together (married) on Monday, although we have been together for over 10. I have known my husband since I was 7 years old, grew up on the same block. I have been with him since I was 27 years old. We have seen each other through good and bad, but we have always been there for each other. We are very supportive of each other and he doesn't resent me for my work on Child Support Issues.
The feelings that come out in my writing are years of frustration, not jealousy or love, for someone who treated me badly, and also treated my children badly. The only goal I have with this is to hold him legally responsible. His family, I have no feelings for them, as they have all made their feelings very well known on me as a person, a mother and a human being. They will have to deal with their own issues regarding the kids, especially "Grandma."
Kendel-I have info for you to ponder:
-I was on aid from 91-early 97.
-Child Support didn't start getting paid until late 98-early 99.
-Why no support paid from 91-98/99, did the kids not exist?
-I don't need his permission for medical, orthodontic, or optical care for the kids. I have legal physical custody. My court papers don't say that I have too.
-The first set of braces I paid for in cash from my income tax money, that is correct I do work-You have jumped to the wrong conclusion about when I was on aid. I also paid for the next 3 sets of braces for the kids. He has all of the paperwork proving that I paid for it.
-First time laid off March 31, 2004. Didn't go back to work until January 1, 2005 (druing the time off from work no child support paid). Back to work on January 1, 2005, quite on July 19, 2005 (during the time off from work no child support paid). January 31, 2006 payment from 138.00. Back to work late March, 2006, quite June 6, 2006. How responsible does that make him?
-Now there is medical that is current that hasn't been paid for either, but that probably goes along with quitting his job too.
-If you came between your husband and his ex-wife because you thought it was your place as being his new wife, you were sadly mistaken as the children weren't yours biologically.
There is a lot more to being a father then just donating the sperm, and if that was the way the children were made, then no, I wouldn't be going after what is legal. They were made the old fashioned way, deal with it.
As far as the kids go, in the sate of CA once the child is 13 years old then they are allowed to make the choice of either they want contact with the other parent or not. Richard made his choices long ago about the contact issue, just as I told him, it is not up to the kids to make contact it is up to him to show them that he does care about them and that he wants to know them. This is were his wife needs to stay out of the situation, period. Her two cents is not worth a thing to them, let Richard establish HIS OWN RELATIONSHIP, OR NOT. Stefanie has chosen not too, and Steven has also chosen not too. They have both been told that they can call him whenever they want, and that he does want to talk with them, they have choosen not to nor will I force them to speak with him. As I have said before, try something new, write to them, they will get it.
Richard, be a man, get a job, pay your child support and your medical. Like it or not I will hold you responsible.
That is as nice as I am going to be.
Sharon Johnson-Editor- fakefordstefvengetchildsupport
I am not an attorney, but I have links to all the states, and valuable information for custodial parents who are trying to get the child support their child(ren) deserve.
Think positive!!!
#247 Individual Responds
AUTHOR: Richard - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, August 21, 2006
POSTED: Monday, August 21, 2006
Yes it is me , Richard Santerre. I don't know where to start . This site has gone on for so long and got so far off track.
Let me start by saying i love my children . They deserve resonable support, for there mother to raise them in a manner to not cause a a hardship that would effect them in a negative way.
Sharon has made this a "Lets Hate Richard Site".
I have and will make mistakes , reguarding my ex-wife and our children. I would like the chance too work in a possitive way to get our children the support they deserve. I have never intended to hurt our children. I am not going to cast blame on anyone , but there are two sides two this very sensitive situation.
I , by phone have tried to contact Sharon. I hope that we together can work to fix the support so that we can put the past behind us.
Our children deserve much more than Sharon or i can give them.
I have made some mistakes in the past. I hope not to make them again.
I am not hiding from Sharon, My children or my support obligations. I have lived at the same home for many years. I have not changed my phone Ever. I always pick up the phone when Sharon calls .AWAYS ALWAYS
I have made a life change that i woukld like to talk to my ex wife about. This will affect my child support in a possitive way. I Hope that Sharon will call me and work together to finsh what we started before this blog started
Thank You;
Richard Santerre
Anyone having interst just ask away.
#248 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Brenda - Salem (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, August 22, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, August 22, 2006
I hope you guys will be able to move on for the sake of your kids and everyones well being. As a side note I read the deadbeat parent bill of no rights and it sums up every thought I had towards my own deadbeat ex. Although I did find it amusing that the author is Sharon. I was under the impression it was someone elses website. Anyway, best of luck to you.
#249 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, August 23, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Sometimes people make mistakes.. sometimes they are easily forgiveable mistakes while other times it takes years to learn to forgive. None the less, a good strong person who has been through hell and high waters learns to forgive and move forward. Why? For the sake of the children. So they do not grow up with so much hate around them. Forgiveness means the most, when it is the hardest to accomplish.
I wish the best to everyone involved with this case. I continue to think about Sharon and these two children almost daily, and sincerely hope for a realization of sorts to take affect in the hearts and minds of everyone involved for what the future COULD bring.
Remember - every action is followed with a reaction. Be careful you make proper actions for the best outcome.
Richard - A lesser man would not have responded, I salute your bravery.
All the best -
#250 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, August 23, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Brenda-I would like to take credit for the Deadbeat Parent Bill of NO Rights, but I can't, although I do agree with them. I did make it a part of my site, but no, I can't take credit for being the author.
Laura-Good to hear from you, I hope that you and the kids are doing well and that you studies are going good. As for mine, they are doing great and enjoying different aspects of life now.
This is a jounal entry that I have added to my site.
8/23/2006-Responsibility is something that I guess some people need to be taught or shown that there are consequences to each and every action that is taken place or that a person does. Life can also play the same actions over and over again. While I do believe that what you do wrong to someone, will, in its own way, come back to repeat itself, I won't kick someone while that person may be down (or may not be down, you only have your instincts to go on).
I do have part of the information to go on, but good intentions or not, the one thing that you can never make up is the time that is lost. As an adult, you have responsibilities that have to be taken care of, now children can take a number too, for your mistakes? Is that fair to them? There are many questions that need to be answered, truthfully and honestly, falsehoods can be detected. I am not the one that will have to answer for my actions, or sway from my responsibilities, I have always known what they where to begin with.
Sharon
#251 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kendel - Cave Creek (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, August 24, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, August 24, 2006
Richard:
Good for you! I applaud your stepping forward, your willingness to answer questions and take responsibility of your (perceived) mistakes.
Sharon:
Your response to Richard's extended olive branch was disappointing to say the very least. Your condescending, “Higher than Thou” tone is appalling. It's abundantly clear you honestly believe you are "Parental Perfection"!
“While I do believe that what you do wrong to someone, will, in its own way, come back to repeat itself…..”
Yes Sharon, you are correct. What goes around comes around. You too will be forced to reap what you sew.
“I won't kick someone while that person may be down (or may not be down, you only have your instincts to go on).”
But than go on to say,
“I do have part of the information to go on, but good intentions or not, the one thing that you can never make up is the time that is lost. As an adult, you have responsibilities that have to be taken care of, now children can take a number too, for your mistakes? Is that fair to them? There are many questions that need to be answered, truthfully and honestly, falsehoods can be detected. I am not the one that will have to answer for my actions, or sway from my responsibilities, I have always known what they where to begin with.”
If you were half the advocate you would like all to believe you would:
*NEVER TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT ADULT ISSUES!!!!
*NEVER TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT FINANCES BETWEEN MOM & DAD!!!!
*ENCOURAGE LOVE AND AFFECTION FOR BOTH PARENTS!!!
*WORKOUT PAYMENT ARRANGEMENTS WITH THE PARENT IN ARREARS!!!
*LOVE YOUR CHILDREN MORE THAN YOU HATE YOUR EX!!!!!
****WHY????? BECAUSE IT'S IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD!!!!*****
Sharon, I speak from experience. I have an EX who does not pay. But my children love their father and I have never said a word to them about his inability or unwillingness to pay child support! NEVER! Here are the choices I had and so did you!
1) Say nothing to my kids about the child support issue and allow them to believe their father is the greatest!
Or
2)Say something to my kids and they think he's a creep. Now there's a black cloud hanging over everyone's head and the financial issue has not changed. Instead my kids feel abandoned, rejected and confused when they spend time with Dad!
Sharon, I ask you, what does that solve? Sure, you got your little “Gotcha!” in there but you did nothing but create emotional baggage your children now have the pleasure of carrying with them for the rest of their lives.
Yep! What goes around comes around! You'll get to live down the legacy of watching your children deal with abandonment and rejection issues because you couldn't keep your mouth shut. That too I speak from experience! MY MOTHER DID TO ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO YOUR KIDS AND SHE FELT JUST AS JUSTIFIED AS YOU DO!"
Here's the problem I see for you. Your kids will grow up, just as I did, and realize, after some life experience, we're all just trying to find our way! Whether your 15, 25, 35, 45, 55, 65…..we stumble, we fall, we pick ourselves back up and try again. Your children will be able to read your posts on the web and see the truth.... ABOUT BOTH OF YOU!
#252 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Brenda - Salem (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, August 24, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, August 24, 2006
No wonder Sharon thinks she is the better parent,she is the one who has provided for her kids day in and day out. Dads always have an excuse of why they can't pay support. (at least my does, I know not all of them.) My ex is famous for quiting jobs and of course not paying support. I never understood that, I at times have had two jobs. He doesn't have to worry about child care since he chooses not to see the kids. The kids need food every day, the house payment is due every month.
His new trick, going to school and living off financal aid. Guess what, the state won't touch that money. I think four years in a one year program shows his intent.
As for not saying bad things in front of the kids. That is harder than paying all the bills yourself!! I think the best thing you can do Sharon is try really hard not to say bad things because one day they will realize for themselves what a *&*& the dad is and that will be much sweeter than you pushing your opinion on them. (I know I don't know Dad and the whole story I'm just saying if you think he is a *&*& let the kids see it for themselves.)
#253 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, August 26, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, August 26, 2006
I left this post for a few months, partially because there was no-one noting any court settlements, and partially because I thought Richard would never show. Way to go, Richard. Glad to see you sticking up for yourself. I hope you are well, and I hope you accept my apology for my initial posts.
I have almost completely changed my opinion about child support mothers than when I first started posting. Some are legit. And then there are those that see fit to bilk "the ex" out of every penny she can.
The reason I came back to see how this post was going was because I was in Wal-mart this evening, and I overheard a woman tell her kid "No, we can't buy this toy because your father hasn't paid your support for 5 months".
The first thing that came to mind was "Sharon!" This is EXACTLY the kind of thing Sharon has probably said to these kids all their lives.
Sharon said:
Many think I am jealous of Rich/Kelly, I wish them nothing but the best in their marriage and in their lives.
Are you for real?
Right, just as long as you can drag his entire family through the mud. Make every search engine with his name a laughingstock.
Just as long as you can continue to negatively influence the kids to bear your burden. When they want your approval, they'll just crack jokes about dad and you can all have a good jolly laugh.
They've read all your court documents since 1993. You said that on your 5/17 post. They joined here on this post. And they helped you make a "make dad pay" site.
Just as long as he pays you what you think is due to you.
You know, I have never seen a woman use her kids as pawns like Sharon has. Ever. I'm saddened after every post you make.
Sharon said:
Life can also play the same actions over and over again. While I do believe that what you do wrong to someone, will, in its own way, come back to repeat itself, I won't kick someone while that person may be down (or may not be down, you only have your instincts to go on).
Oh, yes you will, have, and proudly continue to do so.
I think that is SO rich! You know why?
Because one day, you're going to do something awful to someone - it may be an accident, and totally unintentional. Hit some kid with your car, or injure someone, or someone injures themselves on your property. They'll sue you. And you'll get a judgement against you. And if that day ever comes, you better hope that the victim isn't like you - demanding, threatening, using made-up wishlist "bills of rights" that don't exist, publicly humiliating you on the internet, using people you love as leverage, name calling, character assassination, making personal information public, and bemoaning every little thing that bothers them to the world as it happens.
Only THEN could I believe that you would actually understand how f-ing hurtful your actions are towards them. It's not casual thoughtlessness. It's very slowly, carefully chosen manipulation, strategized and executed with the most careful of precision, designed to blackmail and hurt as many people as possible until you get what you want.
Sharon, I sure hope someone throws you under a bus if you wrong them. I really do. I hope your little proverb rings true. And when it happens, I hope they have a computer, internet and an account on ROR.
Richard said:
I have made a life change that i woukld like to talk to my ex wife about.
Did she pick up the phone?
Kendal: Everything I wanted to say. Well done.
Brenda said:
Sharon is try really hard not to say bad things because one day they will realize for themselves what a *&*& the dad is and that will be much sweeter than you pushing your opinion on them.
She's trying hard not to say bad things? That's why she includes their contributions on the website? The fakefordwhatever site named "in their honor"? Why they've been reviewing her court documents? Sorry, not buying it.
#254 Individual Responds
AUTHOR: Richard - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, August 26, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, August 26, 2006
My wife and I have made some very hard choices, many started several months ago.
In a few months i will not be able to read or respond to this site.
I can not believe this has gone on so long.
Has this site helped anyone? Could anything ever be solved this way? Would you get better action by writing my name and number on a bathroom stall?
The Children are still get hurt and this site gets longer and longer. Was this started for them or to just bash me?
#255 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, August 26, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, August 26, 2006
8/23/2006-
Responsibility is something that I guess some people need to be taught or shown that there are consequences to each and every action that is taken place or that a person does. Life can also play the same actions over and over again. While I do believe that what you do wrong to someone, will, in its own way, come back to repeat itself,
I won't kick someone while that person may be down (or may not be down, you only have your instincts to go on). I do have part of the information to go on, but good intentions or not, the one thing that you can never make up is the time that is lost. As an adult, you have responsibilities that have to be taken care of, now children can take a number too, for your mistakes? Is that fair to them? There are many questions that need to be answered, truthfully and honestly, falsehoods can be detected. I am not the one that will have to answer for my actions, or sway from my responsibilities, I have always known what they where to begin with.
8/25/2006 This has been a very different kind of week. I started receiving phone calls from my ex-husband regarding the back child support and the lien on the house on Monday night. He left me a total of 6 messages on my cell phone, 1 message at my work phone, and 2 messages on my e-mail for my web-site and 1 message on the Rip Off Report that I have started against his irresponsibility for not paying his child support.
During these phone messages and him trying to contact me he never once mentioned the fact that the house that him and his estranged wife (from the broker who is handling the pre-foreclosure of the house I was told that Kelly left him and moved to Florida with their daughter, where she has a home down there that is not in her or Richard's name, but in the name of a relative, and the reason why Kelly left him was because of all the liens that are on the property but the one for back child support in particular caused her to leave) had stopped making the mortgage payments back in March or April, and that the mortgage company is foreclosing. There are 4 liens on the home.
The legal amount of child support that is in arrearages will be negotiated between myself, Monterey County, and 3 other companies. This is happening because of both of their failures to take care of their financial responsibilities and wanting to move to Florida. Richard has said that he does love the kids, and thinks that this is best for the children, and will clear up what he owes and that something is better then nothing, because if I refuse to negotiate then the children will end up with nothing for their futures. Shows a real love of a father for his children that he has not bothered to come and see for 15 years, although he will always blame me for him not coming to CA to see or even get to know the kids.
With this new information that I have gathered and also had verified via the Assessors office for Hartford County, and the law offices of (Hunt Leibert Jacobson, P.C) what this shows is a total disregard for the children that are brought into this world.
The non-custodial parent can LEGALLY not pay his/her bills, force his/her home into foreclosure, and force the custodial parent into negotiations that should, in the first place, not be happening. It isn't the custodial parent, or the children's fault, that the non-custodial parent doesn't like where they live, the new husband/wife is resentful for his/her inability to take care of his/her financial obligations, has now left him/her for it, and he/she has now quite 3 jobs in the past 2 years. Now here is a perfect example of Parent of the Year. (Although this is a bio about my own situation, I did want to be correct as to what gender reads this)
For those out there who think that my tactics are harsh and that I shouldn't involve my children in this, get a clue that is why it is called child support it involves the children, live a day in my life, before you judge me. For those who choose to judge me harshly, take a look at your own children while they are sleeping, they look like your little angels, think about if you were in a similar situation, and how hard you are willing to fight for what is rightfully your children's? For those that have not been in this kind of situation and don't know what it is like, ask a friend of yours who may be going through a similar situation and how they feel about the father/mother of the child(ren) who is not paying child support. How hard do they work to provide everything for their children? How much do they love their children? What would they do for their children's future?
As a custodial parent, this kind of action and irresponsibility of a so called adult is disgusting and should be considered a crime against the children involved. I will continue to fight for the child support that is still going to be due for the next 3 and 1/2 years for my son, since my daughter turns 18 next month and will be considered emancipated because she is not in high school any more, although she is still living at home and going to college full-time. He will still be in the arrears for what is accruing each month that goes by and he doesn't work. The cycle will start all over again in Florida.
#256 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Kendel - Cave Creek (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, August 28, 2006
POSTED: Monday, August 28, 2006
......Sharon, you've proven to us all what your true motive is, (hate and vindiction), and what kind of mother you are. Your behavior, antics and statements are stomach turning! There is no doubt you would benefit from a therapists intervention or counseling with Richard. One who specializes in hostile divorce. The fact you openly admit what is being done and said to these kids continues to surprise.
And Sharon, as I shared in my last entry, I do speak from experience. I do care for my children with little to no help from their father. It's difficult. I sacrifice. Rarely can I provide the finer things in life and purchase all the new electronics other kids currently have. But I manage! And NEVER discuss the disagreement's or financial issues my former husband and I have with my children. Regardless of whether or not it would help us if he sent money as he should, my involving my children will not encourage their Dad to start writing a check. Nothing good comes from involving your kids.
No one has argued you should get the help you need legally to resolve the financial matter between MOM & DAD!!! Let me make sure this is crystal clear. Richard, Kelly, Ruth, Nick and I agree child support is needed. Back support should be paid. Everyone supports and agrees with you as far as that is concerned. However, the above stated do not agree or support how you've gone about resolving your dispute and the damage done to the children.
Richard, what Sharon is doing to your children is abusive. You may want to consider printing the entries on this sight and on her own. You should seek the help from the courts. This can be done without the need for an Attorney.
Nick, thank you for the support. I read up on areas of interest in my life. I find your's and Ruth's entries often. Not only do I find myself in complete agreement everytime. I have to admit, your sense of humor is fantastic. I see your continued attempt to be objective. In stories like these, it's important to be objective. You and Ruth are GREAT!
Sharon, think about what you're doing! Richard, get help for yourself, Kelly and kids!
God be with you all!
#257 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, August 29, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Sharon said:
Richard has said that he does love the kids, and thinks that this is best for the children, and will clear up what he owes and that something is better then nothing, because if I refuse to negotiate then the children will end up with nothing for their futures.
Didn't you learn the last time? Like when they offered $20K in exchange for something you didn't even control?
Oh, I remember, he was like $3000. short of the full amount. No, "every penny will be paid back - Until the court date!". Well, I don't think I see that in your future. Then again, I'm not a fortune teller.
And we see that in your previous statement:
Sharon:
and the reason why Kelly left him was because of all the liens that are on the property but the one for back child support in particular caused her to leave) had stopped making the mortgage payments back in March or April, and that the mortgage company is foreclosing. There are 4 liens on the home.
I'm just going to guess, but I'll bet that wasn't something ya'll were counting on, was it? You got your judgements, your leins, and it was making Richard and his wife miserable. So even assuming that they split actually lowered the chances of YOU getting much, if any, money. So in a sense - you won the battle... but you lost the war in the process.
Sharon said:
The non-custodial parent can LEGALLY not pay his/her bills, force his/her home into foreclosure, and force the custodial parent into negotiations that should, in the first place, not be happening.
Then that's the law. The same law that you state Richard owes you money is now the law that says he can renegotiate. All of a sudden, "amicable" would have been a better option. But no, contact lenses were a RIGHT, weren't they? Not submitting things to insurance and paying out of pocket seemed more "profitable" if half of those expenses were going to be sent back to you.
What an odd turn of events.
Sharon said:
For those out there who think that my tactics are harsh and that I shouldn't involve my children in this, get a clue that is why it is called child support it involves the children.
No, it BENEFITS the children and INVOLVES the adults. The adult's name is on the check for a reason, not the kids'.
But you're raising them, not me, so whatever. Apparently there is plenty of time to do that, but not do something constructive. Hey, it's your life. I think the tactic is childish and self serving, but that's my pithy, non-involved distant opinion. I suppose you decorate it with lessons regarding responsibility and accountability, since it's such an easy example to make. Be careful, because it appears to be backfiring with this recent turn of events.
So knowing that money wasn't coming in for, oh, several YEARS, you never once thought to involve the kids in being frugal, or being creative with finances without making a begrudging deal over it? I'm going to assume: No, you counted on money that wasn't there to give your kids the extras with the expectation of a reimbursement that was NOT guaranteed.
And when it didn't show up, you weren't prepared.
So "get a clue"? Ok. I got a clue. Ready?
Your kids see Richard as you want them to see him. One big fat dollar sign. No feelings. No emotion, and you know what? That IS Richard's fault. But you're teaching that money equates to love, and heavily suggesting that since he doesn't pay, he doesn't love his kids. No wonder they won't talk to him. They've been taught that he doesn't love them.
Maybe he doesn't. But maybe he does, and it'll be a long time before anyone knows for sure. I've seen dads abandon their kids with no regard for them, and that's messed up. But I think Sharon is the type that would supervise and manage every fun minute, making sure no-one had too much fun, or that "too much progress" was not made, in a lifeguard uniform and blowing a silver whistle at the sign of any real parental bonding happening.
Kendal said:
Nick, thank you for the support. I read up on areas of interest in my life.
This is an area of interest for me too. I'm raising my kids who aren't "biologically" mine, and an undisclosed number that aren't biologically either of ours (foster care). Abandonment is a huge issue in many kids' lives.
I also learned that after the wife remarries, she has a good chance of raising the kids quite well with the new husband, and the supposed "child support" ends up being an additional bonus on top of one good (or two good) incomes. All of THOSE details (Sharon's new husband) are oddly absent in this post, and it doesn't appear anyone is going to bed hungry with or without Richard's check (although Christmas gifts are apparently supposed to be amazing and extraordinary!).
I don't know of any guy who marries a divorced mom and says "well, my income is irrelevant, you go on providing for the kids like you did, and I'll just keep what I earn seperate for myself - I'll just live here and we'll sleep together". Yes honey, you feed the kids soley off what you make and the child support that is owed, and I'll keep my riches. (Nor do I know any mom that would find that plan acceptable). It's a package deal when you marry a woman with kids.
So since you've thrown everyone's mess on the table, let's see YOURS, Sharon. Let's get the facts here. What do you make? What does your new husband make? If the two of you had to come up with $20,000, could YOU? It seems you have a working computer and an internet connection... that's not cheap. You have oodles of time on your website. And here. And time to make phone calls.
And RICHARD is the only revolving hinge to your children's future? I don't think so.
So while I can sympathize with the default "well, if not affection, I'll get the money" attitude displayed here, it still sounds more like revenge than support.
You are completely ruining him, and then expecting him to somehow pay. I wouldn't hire him, and a quick internet search would pretty much discourage any good employer. At a point you passed long ago, I'd say you're much officially working against yourself and your goal of getting money. I don't understand your logic, but you seem very persistent with it. Explain how this treatment is going to encourage the behavior you want?
Sharon said:
ask a friend of yours who may be going through a similar situation and how they feel about the father/mother of the child(ren) who is not paying child support. How hard do they work to provide everything for their children? How much do they love their children? What would they do for their children's future?
Sit around and add up bills of what is owed? Start websites and causes that aren't really productive? (If I'm wrong, tell me how your payment has recently increased). Recruit the kids on a campaign against dad? Oh wait, I know! Put his name all over the internet with the words "deadbeat" next to them! Am I getting close?
I hope not because none of those things are helping "your children's future".
Sharon said:
He will still be in the arrears for what is accruing each month that goes by and he doesn't work. The cycle will start all over again in Florida.
Sounds like he is liquidating his assets. You can't take what you can't prove he has, and if he has no tangibles, the judge will probably lower his payment significantly and he can appeal the arrears based on inability to pay (hardship), and a hardship IS a legitimate reason not to pay, or to pay less. Of course, a reduced payment doesn't guarantee that the reduced amount will be paid either.
News flash: Richard Santerre is not Donald Trump.
But if you threw MY name all over the internet like that, I'd let the bank forclose before I'd let you see a dime of that. Revenge begets revenge. If I was painted as such a deadbeat and criminal all over the web, and indeed, the damage is done, then I'd make it a point to work against you every way I could. THAT is human nature. I'd be thinking, "Crap, the kids hate me. My ex-wife has a internet smear-campaign going, I'm losing my house and I'm losing my current wife in the process. My family is humiliated, my dead family members are insulted, and I'm losing everything.
Pop Quiz: Would he say:
A. I better pay up and learn my lesson!
or
B. Screw that b****!
(I'm voting "B" here)
And I think that's exactly what is happening here. He is throwing you under the bus, and like you, has lost any semblance of fairness and turned it into "technicalities" and "revenge". Now the lawyers will figure out the details, and you'll BOTH hate the result.
My prediction: He will learn HIS rights too, and yes, he does have them. And no, they are not limited to "he better pay" either.
While I'm appalled at his inability to kick down some cash, this is not a tactic that anyone with an ounce of pride would willingly participate (be bullied into) in, and if he is fighting it Sharon, it may be because his pride is the last thing he has.
Richard said:
In a few months i will not be able to read or respond to this site.
And this will be different than the last 6 months where you let your wife do your talking for you? You still haven't responded to any of the accusations, dude. Seriously. You're not even defending yourself.
Richard said:
I can not believe this has gone on so long.
By "this", do you mean the child support back-payment, or the actual ROR website thread?
Well, you weren't denying ANYTHING, but we did find interesting tidbits, such as your ex-wife's view on a homo-sapien's proper weight ratio. (she works for that 122 lb body) Were we supposed to think that normal rational people design websites and smear campaigns because your wife is skinny?
Richard said:
Would you get better action by writing my name and number on a bathroom stall?
No, but YOU might! Buh-dum-bum (cymbal crash)
Richard, are you going to pay for your kids or not? I'm curious to know (before you "cannot read or respond") if her accusations have merit. Do you not call? Do you not visit? If not, why? If so, is Sharon forgetting something?
Sharon has made some good points here too, and the one thing worse than a revengeful ex-wife is a man who refuses to even defend himself against it. And I ain't gonna do it now that you and Kelly have split (if you actually have...)
So let's hear it. What's the problem?
#258 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, August 29, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Nick-
1. 20k conditional on removing a lien that no I can't remove. I can't control what the county does.
2. If he chooses to loose his home, not my fault, I don't handle my finances that way. He has quit 3 jobs in the past 2 years. When he called last week to tell me that he quite his job, I just laughed.
3. The money is given to my children, how they spend is none of your business. Yes the checks or direct deposits do come in my name, will I make a financial accounting to you NO. I think I have said this before.
4. My bills are paid and current, how are yours?
5. AGAIN Richard has not seen the kids since I left and divorced him. He hasn't seen my oldest since she was 3 and my youngest he has never seen.
6. Unless you want to pay my bills, my finances and my husbands are none of your business. Can that be made any clearer to you.
7. What do you and your wife make? Want to tell me? How much comes from doing foster care? Would you be able to feed and cloth and house everyone without the money that you get from the county? NO
8. You have a working computer too and access to the Internet. You can always start your own web-site, and I have said that before too. You also seem to spend a lot of time on your computer too. I work on them all day, at my working and paying job, and since I do have my own web-site I work on that too. I also take care of two teenagers and a husband.
9. Child Support is part of the obligation that is both of the biological parents responsibility. Divorce, time, or remarriage doesn't take that away.
10. He has ruined himself for not taking care of his responsibilities. He didn't fill out the required paperwork when he was supposed to back in January. Since I am not married to him it is not my place to fill out the paperwork. Since his "wife" took it upon herself, maybe she should of filled out the paperwork.
11. Foster Care pays well, do you work outside the home?, since you want to know every little detail about me. It is on my site, it is true and yes, I DO HAVE THE COURT PAPERS!!! Apparently you are still having problems reading.
12. He can liquidate all he wants, child support will not go away.
13. He makes no attempt to have a relationship with the kids, as I have stated many many times, no phone calls (that is also for the weight loss and plastic surgery calls, the kids don't like it and neather did my husband so because of that the number was changed. He has my cell and work number, and the address to where we live, write a letter. The kids don't want him to have their cell phone numbers because they have nothing to say).
14. Go for answer B. That should get him out of the mess that he is in, don't you think.
15. He can't defend himself because he won't, matter of pride I guess. Even when Stefanie asked him (a while back) how come he didn't go to court to get vilsitation or to enforce the issue, he told her that she wouldn't understand his reasons why, well neither does anyone else.
16. Again-NO CALLS, NO VISITS, NO FUN TIME WITH THE KIDS. HE HAS NEVER BEEN BACK OUT HERE. SO THERE IS NO FUN TIME FOR ME TO SUPERVISE.
You can sure cut and paste real good, but do you actually read?????? The children are entitled to the support of both biological parents. He has decided to do his own thing and mess up his own life. I am fighting for what is legally my children's. Since you do foster care, why are you so bent on a strong women who will fight for her kids. Get off of the contact issue too, unless it came out of your pocket, which is doesn't, and it sure doesn't come out of his either, although he is supposed to pay for half.
Once again, the insurance didn't cover the kids braces, I paid for them, I have all the receipts. I still haven't deviated from my position nor will I.
Just for the record, the children and I have been in counseling, and him and his "wife" both knocked that because they just had the perfect family life and wouldn't need counseling.
As far as the dead relatives go, mud has been slung on both sides. My father was also mentioned by him, and my father has nothing to do with the situation once so ever.
Kendall and Nick you both need to find someone else to try and intimidate, because it sure isn't me. If Richard wants he can call the cell phone later tonight and try again to talk with the kids. If they will talk then that is fine, if they won't then he has to live with it.
Any more questions????????????
#259 Individual Responds
AUTHOR: Richard - Manchester (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, August 29, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, August 29, 2006
To My Children;
I Love them both very much . I have in the past with Sharons approval, been able to talk to them.
Now they have been a part of whay i feel is an adult situation. They should have never been subjected to our phone conversation on speaker phone. Sharon Made sure that the would not see my love for them but, rather the the yelling ang screaming from the both of us.
The child support;
Yes I owe child support .Lets go back ,to tell that it was her and i who finally got the support order. She knows that i always paid. I was Laid off from a very good company. There are few if any jobs like that in this state. Since then i have gone from job to job. I was not tring to avoid my children or their support. At one of them she contacted my employer a day before i started to set up the payrol dedution. I told her about my job before i even started it. You only need to read the paper or watch the news to know that the job market here has gone down hill fast.
The Future;
Yes now i am dealing with a few set backs in life, but im not crying. I must now make a change . I have been working towards a goal for over a year now and now its time to go for this chance to regain a career insted of a job.
In a few hours i start my journey. I will be changing phone numbers and my address, i will reoprt this to child support in Ca.. I may be around for about 120 days, but then i will be gone, with limited if any chance to recieve or make phone calls. I can only hope to settle all this mess before i go. I know some day i will have contact with my children again.
#260 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, August 29, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, August 29, 2006
By request, here's more cutting and pasting.
Sharon said:
3. The money is given to my children, how they spend is none of your business. Yes the checks or direct deposits do come in my name, will I make a financial accounting to you NO. I think I have said this before.
Well, look out, because you just did. We just went through a thread of how you couldn't afford two sets of braces and contact lenses and how you fought to keep food on your table, but then you give the money straight to the kids. My suspicions were correct, weren't they? You're not as poor as you paint yourself, you're just owed money and indignant about the circumstance.
Sharon said:
4. My bills are paid and current, how are yours?
They are? I thought we were reading of all the struggles and hardships you are enduring because Richard was a deadbeat.
My bills are paid on time, thanks for your concern.
Sharon said:
6. Unless you want to pay my bills, my finances and my husbands are none of your business. Can that be made any clearer to you.
Oh, but they are. You're willing to throw the gloves off and explain everything about Richard and his big beautiful house and his new car and his vacation.... so let's hear what you make. It's a lot different if your husband works at McDonalds rather than Microsoft. Show us you're reasonable instead of greedy.
Or don't you like it when someone puts you on the spot for the world to see?
Richard's personal phone number and home address was none of my business, but you happily gave THAT information out. I wonder how many people called him, and if so, what they said. Could it be worse than a weight loss center pitch?
Okay, let's all agree with your painting of Richard for just a minute. He's a deadbeat jerk abandoning ex-husband who cares only for himself and hasn't paid $20K. You made your point.
By your own admission, your bills are all paid, you're doing just fine and your kids are relatively taken care of. So if you're going to make public information on one side, then you have to be willing to take the heat for YOUR side. YOU started this thread, NOT Richard, and NOT me.
Sharon said:
7. What do you and your wife make? Want to tell me? How much comes from doing foster care? Would you be able to feed and cloth and house everyone without the money that you get from the county? NO
Uhm... YES.
I work full time at the same job I've had for 8 years, as does my wife, and we work alternating hours to make it work. My work benefits extend up to 10 kids. I get a paltry stipend for raising mid risk kids, an amount almost not worth mentioning. It MIGHT cover the food they eat. So YES. I afford it every month, as there is always an expense above and beyond what is offered. Not to be confused with your OTHER statement spoken in complete ignorance:
Sharon said:
11. Foster Care pays well, do you work outside the home?, since you want to know every little detail about me.
Who the hell lied to YOU? You must have gotten that from the same place you got your non-legal, non-binding "Bill of Rights". And you may know quite a bit about your rights, but stop pretending you know anything about foster care. You're embarassing yourself. No, really.
Hey, guess what I get from my kids' sperm donor? NOTHING! And guess what - I'm raising them as my own and it works. I guess I'm not as rich as I COULD be... Or should I follow your lead and cry "victim" in hopes of getting some fast cash and shallow attention? Maybe I should bash his family on the internet. Or have my kids bash him on ROR for the world to see. I've been doing it wrong all these years! Stupid me!
Sharon said:
You have a working computer too and access to the Internet. You can always start your own web-site, and I have said that before too.
I don't have a pressing need to drag someone through the mud. That is the principle difference between you and me. Like I said, cut the comparisons. This is YOUR story, and I'm just trying to get the facts that, until recently, you were very eager to tell everyone. Now someone questions YOUR motives, and you are quick to dismiss everything and... even better... turn it around ON ME! As if I was attacking YOU.
Sharon:
Child Support is part of the obligation that is both of the biological parents responsibility. Divorce, time, or remarriage doesn't take that away.
I agree with you! But there are other factors, such as payment and such. I suppose after a certain point, Richard could face some jail time. But if he doesn't have squat, he can't give you squat. That's simple economics.
Sharon:
12. He can liquidate all he wants, child support will not go away.
No kidding. But that doesn't guarantee money. And after a period of non-payment, the state will end up taking his tangible assets to pay the debt.
If he moves in with a woman and doesn't marry her, but lives in her house, and drives her car, the state still can only take away a percentage of his paycheck. But if he can't even get a good paying job because someone googles his name, then I stand by my statement - you will have done such a good job at smearing him, he'll never be any good to you as far as repayments go.
I agree he should be responsible, but seriously, is this helping you get money?
Sharon said:
Since you do foster care, why are you so bent on a strong women who will fight for her kids.
Because I've seen what mothers will do "for their kids". Like you. You claim you're waiting for money for medical expenses and the hard times you're having and how Richard is "living it up", yet you give the money that IS sent to your kids for THEM to spend. "For the children", indeed. But it is soooo much better to cry "deadbeat" and describe yourself destitute and poor when in fact you have two incomes and give the money to your kids. The only real tragedy is that your teenagers can't get the latest Kid Rock CD because their spending money hasn't arrived.
And while you were getting calls for plastic surgery, I've had my life threatened several times by some pretty savory characters. Don't preach to me about what some people will do for their kids.
Are you done with your comparisons yet?
Sharon:
Get off of the contact issue too, unless it came out of your pocket, which is doesn't
YOU brought that to the table. Not me. Contacts are a luxury, not a medical necessity, and few if anyone, agree with you. If you didn't want to discuss it, and don't like my opinion, why did you itemize your list on the web?
Further, you speak so often for the kids that you say contradicting statements, like these:
Sharon:
If Richard wants he can call the cell phone later tonight and try again to talk with the kids.
Sharon:
The kids don't want him to have their cell phone numbers because they have nothing to say).
Sounds like you're setting him up for failure and false hopes. But that doesn't matter, since he's a neglectful deadbeat anyway, right?
Sharon:
Just for the record, the children and I have been in counseling, and him and his "wife" both knocked that because they just had the perfect family life and wouldn't need counseling.
Always the humble one, aren't you? And just for the record, the house foreclosed and you got nothing out of the deal.
Sharon:
2. If he chooses to loose his home, not my fault, I don't handle my finances that way. He has quit 3 jobs in the past 2 years. When he called last week to tell me that he quite his job, I just laughed.
Finally, yes, I CAN read. It would be easier if you could spell "lose" and "quit" correctly, if that's not too much trouble.
I'm trying to figure out how this is going to help you or your kids. He got the point, he knows you're expecting money, and he's watching you point and demand. He even responded here. You've got your cause, website and dedication. For that I credit you.
But now what?
You're STILL slinging mud at him, and we're supposed to believe that you're trying to remain neutral when it comes to his relationship with his kids?
#261 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, August 30, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Nick-I have answered and re-answered everyone of your questions. If the answers are not good enough for your liking then that is just to bad.
Richard-What is happening in your life is by your own doing, and your inability to handle your responsibilities in your life. The kids do know what is going on and yes, responsibility and telling the truth is a part of our household. Your opinion as to whether I tell them what is going on or not is not a decision for you to make, or for anyone else to make. I have spoke with the kids and neither one want to talk with you, or any other member of your family.
Sharon
I am not an attorney, but I have links to all the statesand valuable information for custodial parents who are trying to get the child support their child(ren) deserve.
Think positive!!!
#262 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Angie - Norfolk (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, August 30, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Hello all..... Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick.... I love every response you have to this sight.. You say what everyone that reads this sight wants to say.... And THNAK YOU for finally speaking to her about her spelling.... I am a fast typer and soemtimes I mix up my letters but I really get tires of reading the wrong word.... but that really can't be helped Sharon is an accountant not a writer per her college resume...... I love her accounting figures.. thay change weekly and she never sees why everyone doesn't get it..... oh well......
As for this whole situation......... I can tell there are things missing out of what everyone writes..... I know Rich is holding back and has not said allot.... I know Sharon just fantisizes about the whole thing Oh well........
Remember the old saying "You can't get blood from a turnip..." You can't you know.
#263 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Marie - Colton (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, August 31, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, August 31, 2006
Sharon you said
During these phone messages and him trying to contact me he never once mentioned the fact that the house that him and his estranged wife (from the broker who is handling the pre-foreclosure of the house I was told that Kelly left him and moved to Florida with their daughter, where she has a home down there that is not in her or Richard's name, but in the name of a relative, and the reason why Kelly left him was because of all the liens that are on the property but the one for back child support in particular caused her to leave) had stopped making the mortgage payments back in March or April, and that the mortgage company is foreclosing. There are 4 liens on the home.
First off what broker would tell you the life story of this family shame on him/her I am shocked that a broker would tell a stranger such information and how that broker would know so many details.
Second why would Richard explain everything to an answering machine.Maybe if you talked to him he would have told you.
Sharon you said
The legal amount of child support that is in arrearages will be negotiated between myself, Monterey County, and 3 other companies.
If there are 4 leins on the house one from the county and 3 other companies where do you fit in that. If you don't have a lein against his house then you have no right to receive information on this property.
Do you have a lein against him/his property.
I don't know what the leins are but after the mortgage company gets thier money and the county gets thier money there are still 3 other comanies to get paid if it is tsxes they will get thier money above all and knock the county in 3rd place after all companies are paid you still won't see a dime.
This is how I see things and maybe I'm wrong but you can only knock a person upside the head so many times before you get knocked back. Richard & Kelly are probably still together and living in a nice house in someone elses name that will never have a lein on it and you will never be able to touch. So don't get to happy over the split that you think you have accomplished because you may have done nothing but make this bad situation worse. Sometimes forgiveness and letting go of bad feeling is in the best interest of all.
I choose not to dwell on what my ex doesn't do, but all that I do, and that is a great feeling to know that I have made my children happy & safe. What ever they accomplish in their life I helped. That is what gets a single mom through a day.If you choose to live your life in the negative it is sure to be a very sad unsuccessful life.
If you can find the positive in the negative the happier life you will have.
Allowing my children to be angry with their dad will not help them so I do my best (no matter what he says that hurts them or when he is't there for them) to make sure they understand that he does love them and that becauase he does't always do or reppond the way they think he should doesn't mean he doesn't love them very much.
My children happiness is so important to me so sometime you just have do deal with things that are not that pleasant but I know that my children appreciate that I don't jump in and bash thier dad when they're mad at him I try to give perspective to the situation and help them through it.
Sharon everyone agrees that Richard owes you money but your hate and revenge is what all of us can't stand. Maybe if you tried to be a respectful person you could work something out that would benefit all.I really feel that it is you Sharon that is holding up any progress in this situation.
#264 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, September 02, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, September 02, 2006
Marie said:
First off what broker would tell you the life story of this family shame on him/her I am shocked that a broker would tell a stranger such information and how that broker would know so many details.
Here's what I think happened. Kelly and Richard knew that the fuzzy math was going to continue to be disproportionate. In other words, I think if Richard paid in full $25,000.00 today (over the amount), that there would be some "undiscovered" or "forgotten" expenses that he is half responsible for. Richard is probably smart enough to recognize IF this was the case.
Kelly and Richard probably figured that they better cut their losses and sacrifice the house and get out, and it seems a relative was nice enough to let them live somewhere so they don't have property that could be garnished, foreclosed or reposessed in order to pay the debt.
You know, so they could actually LIVE in a house instead of Richard, Kelly and her kids out on the street - where - apparently "they belong".
Marie said:
Richard & Kelly are probably still together and living in a nice house in someone elses name that will never have a lein on it and you will never be able to touch.
Yes, bingo. Broker, my foot.
Angie said:
I am a fast typer and soemtimes I mix up my letters but I really get tires of reading the wrong word....
You don't say! ((Grin)) (Couldn't help it Angie, sorry) :P
Angie said:
Remember the old saying "You can't get blood from a turnip..." You can't you know.
No, especially if you stick it in the oven and keep heating it. It'll dry out faster than it should have and give you less juice, and that's exactly what is happening here.
Sharon: Give me money
Richard: I don't have any.
Sharon: Then you shall suffer.
Richard: I'm trying to improve things.
Sharon: It's not fast enough.
Richard: How are the kids?
Sharon: They hate you. They don't want to talk.
Richard: I'm trying to get a better job.
Sharon: Even though I want money, I'd rather see you suffer, I mean, you deserve it.
Richard: If I get a better job, we can all have more money.
Sharon: I'll make you a laughingstock on the web so it'll be harder. And when it takes you longer to pay me back, I'll ridicule you even more because THATS MY RIGHT.
Sharon said:
Nick-I have answered and re-answered everyone of your questions. If the answers are not good enough for your liking then that is just to bad.
No, Sharon, you did not answer the question as to how this site, or your site, or public humiliation of another human being is going to give you a positive reaction or get you paid quicker, which is the big picture. Or is it?
OR... if not, then WHAT? You simply refuse to answer this.
I actually see it doing the opposite of what you SAY you want. So explain that to me, and we can go from there. See, part of filling out a report like this is BACKING YOUR POSITION. I could accuse anyone of anything, but if I'm called to the carpet, I better be reasonable in my answer. Or should people just believe me because I say it "on the internet"?
You can ignore me, fine. But then I know what's up. And guess what? I won't shut up about it. Just like you! I'll even start guessing and maybe Kelly or Rich or Angie could tell me how close I probably am to a realistic assumption. This is what a public forum IS ABOUT.
You called out Rich, he acknowledges that he owes. He also has to survive. You apparently don't like that. That's why I don't think it's about justice. Moreso, revenge.
Remember, YOU invited people here. YOU called people up to say "Look at the report I filled out on the internet". YOU invited Richard's family to respond, and you have such nice things to say about every one of them. YOU must have thought that everyone would sympathize with a mother with a single income (not true) who was destitute (not true) or having a rough time with bills (No, you REALLY just give it to the kids - medical bills must have magically disappeared) and painted your kids as really wanting a relationship with their dad (not true) so that Richard could look like the jerk you wanted him to look like. NOTHING here is what it seems, is it?
My question was what is your intention? Embarassment? Insults heaped on Richard? Publicity? Sympathy? Money? Or hate? Oh, I know, helping OTHER women make their ex's suffer!
And you just recently clarified (or the case has been all along, who knows with you anymore?) that the kids DON'T want a relationship with him. I mean, EXCEPT the MONEY part. THAT is the ONLY acceptable relationship to have - a free financial windfall in exchange for the... well... uhm.... well, nothing. They "now" hate him. Just free money.
That's a SUPER lesson for a young adult to learn!
The kids are fed, you seem to be doing just fine, Richard is down on his luck, well, let's kick ol' Rich anyway! If only for good measure, and he had one coming, right?
You forgot one thing, Sharon: Kids aren't that smart in the adult world, and they're typically pretty forgiving unless of course, they were privy to the ugly details and opinions of one side - they always are ugly details, yet you involve your kids anyway - which even you admit, Sharon. You enlisted them in this campaign, and there is no doubt, at least in my mind, what you wanted to accomplish. And apparently, you remain satisfied that you were successful.
I'll bet you riled your daughter and got her so spun up regarding this website and YOUR ADULT situation that she WANTED to write that ugly post about Rich's family. How else would she know otherwise? YOU, Sharon. YOU.
And in return for their participation, they can have the cash, right? Oh, and contacts! (Well, he already got THOSE, so maybe Lasik Eye Surgery, and we'll just go back to court and bill Richard for his share!)
But you don't care about me, nor should you. You dismiss my logic as petty and out of touch, or maybe too much thinking is required to respond to everything. Fine. Keep on getting nothing, and work harder to get less, and in the meantime, increasing that wedge between your kids and Richard. Will they figure it out? Maybe. Maybe not. No amount of past due child support trumps truth, and in the end, they WILL seek truth. You better hope your version is more truthful than Rich's, because they'll ask the same questions I'm asking. Yes, Richard has his abandonment issues over his head. But you'll have YOUR questions to answer, too. They'll question your motives, just like I am. But what do I know? I'm irrelevant. You've obviously thought it out further than I have, whatever your goal actually is. Feel like telling us?
Stay negative!!! It makes people you don't love anymore miserable, and hurting people feels soooo good!
#265 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, September 03, 2006
POSTED: Sunday, September 03, 2006
Marie-I do have a lien on his property, and yes the brocker did relay the information to me because it is all a "family" affair. That is right, the forecloser, the SECOND on the house (done by a "relative") is all in the family. So yes, I do have every right to know what is going on, because it does affect my kids. I do have copies of all the paperwork too. I am #4 on the list for the lien, along with the county that I live in.
I did negotiate with him years ago and I won't do it again, I already forgave 49,000.00 of what he owed in back child support, that is why it has all been brought up to guidelines. He didn't answer the court paper work so the amount is higher, I can't do anything about it.
As far as my attitude toward him, I don't have to be nice to him or any other member of his family. None have shown respect for my children, family or anyone else. He has a wife who has claimed to know me, a sister, brother, a "sister in law" (don't know if they are married but they have a child) and a mother, whom words can't even express.
My tactics are harsh and I do "write" what is on my mind, but if people don't like them, this is like tv if you don't like what is on the channell then move on. As far as the kids go, my son has never meet him and my daughter hasn't seen him since she was 3, she will be 18 at the end of the month. Legally, I will keep going after him for what is owed to the kids, that is just a fact that I will not give up on. He has quit 3 jobs since March 31, 2004 and out of that time has worked for maybe a year. I have worked steadily for over 10 years, and I do know what my responsibilities are, he doesn't.
Nick-Get a life, you write a book and it is the same thing over and over again. Have a good weekend, go enjoy your family.
#266 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, September 15, 2006
POSTED: Friday, September 15, 2006
So everyone and their brother has an opinion about Sharon again.. wow shocking!
Nick go put your head back in the sand where you apparently have come from. Foster care doesn't pay well??? !!! Who are you trying to get sympathy from? LOL your so full of it.
What was it you said.. something along the lines of having no desire to sling anyone through the mud? Yes you do.. you continually attack Sharon, her money, her ability to parent, so on and so forth.. not dragging her through the mud? uhm.. yes you are.
Last of all to Nick... CAN YOU THINK FOR YOURSELF.. or do you just always go off half cocked copying and pasting..
Ok.. so hi again Sharon.. well looks like Richard has at least said hi.. that's a good start huh? I wanted to talk to you about the laws on child support. I don't know if it's just in Oregon.. but the law that I know it is a non-custodial parent is responsible for child support while the child is a child or attending school until their 21st birthday. May want to make sure arrears stop at the age of 18. You mentioned Stefanie was going to college so you may qualify for child support until she is 21 while she is attending college. Just something to check into.
Sounds to me like Richard may be heading into the military. Or heading to Pluto.. one or the other as he won't have means to contact in anyway shape or form in a couple months. Which if it's the military he's full of it, you can have contact with your family even if in Iraq and so forth.. I also know they get about 40,000 when shipped out overseas each year.. so maybe he'll have money to pay his back child support if he's doing that.
As for the seperation or divorce of Kelly and him, I'm actually sorry to hear that.. not suprised.. but don't believe it either. Sounds like there's a plan in the works to get out from under his responsabilities towards his obligations of support.
Good luck Sharon.. check the back avenues.. something doesn't seem quite right.
Laura
#267 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, September 15, 2006
POSTED: Friday, September 15, 2006
This mother has BEEN there for her kids.. Through thick and thin SHE is the one who kissed their knees when they were learning to ride a bike, she is the one who showed them it's ok to stay in kindergarten with this teacher.. she is the one that taught them how to write, read, and SHE is the one that taught them how to drive, and how to deal with friends that treat them badly, or friends that need a hug, how to show them you are a true friend to them by being there for them..
This mother has been through it all. She has wiped their butts when they were in diapers, she has wiped the spilled milk and told them it's ok to make mistakes.. SHE and ONLY SHE has been there..
RICHARD HAS NOT..
Say what you will about her.. but SHE and only SHE is their MOTHER.. and she and only she knows what is right by HER OWN KIDS.
Nick you say Richard has an abandonment issue over his head.. yet you seem to downplay his absence in his own children's lives.. It is people like you who make it seem ok for the next father to do the same thing to their own child.
This is not a "political" issue to be TALKED TO DEATH.. this is about two children who NEEDED their father to be there no matter what, and two children who were let down by him.
You cannot take away the one thing that matters in this situation... and that is THE MOTHER HAS ALWAYS.. let me say that again for you slow people.. ALWAYS ALWAYS BEEN THERE.. Since day one until now.. it is SHARON who has and will continue to BE THERE for her children.. Nothing and nobody can take that away.. and nothing and nobody can replace THAT EVER!
All the best to you Sharon -
Laura
#268 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, September 16, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, September 16, 2006
I'm sorry but as I re-read Nick's last reply I had to laugh.. He asked you Sharon if you cared to tell us what your goal is..
HEY NICK.. If you haven't figured that out by now it's a lost cause so you should give up and go spend quality time with your foster kids (of which doesn't pay well)
Sharon's goal is to get the money owed to her, and her children.. DUH!!
Wow Sharon- So how's things been going? What in the world is going on with Richard and Kelly now?
Not that it's any of my business I'm just curious to know what "life change" Richard has done, and if it at all benefits his kids this time around in his life.
You know Richard, you are going to be held accountable for your actions some day.. maybe not in this world.. but I would think this, if I were you, each night when you lay down to sleep:
If you turn your back on your kids.. is it possible that will also be done to you upon your wanting to be accepted by your "father in heaven" someday? Just a thought.
All the best to you and your children-
#269 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, September 16, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, September 16, 2006
Yes there has been some new things going on, just never sure whom to believe or the lengths that people will go to not take care of their responsibilities.
There is not a clear picture from him as to what is going on. He has been told that the kids don't wish to speak with him and I am respecting their wishes. He will read into this what he wants, or someone in his family, who knows. He has been applauded for speaking up FINALLY, although there still is no reason from him for all of his inactions over ther years, it is a typical response from him though, he has never felt that he has ever had to explain himself. He doesn't give me any answers at all, just that things are now out of his hands and Kelly is handling it. If he is going into the Military full-time, they already have his support order information.
I have spoke with the child support about Stefanie being in college and still living at home, she likes it better then high school. Child Support only is in effect until the child is either 18 or still in high school. Steven is enjoying high school and the new challenges. His girlfriend is very nice and we also know both of her parents.
I am going to post what I have written down on my own bio, because it explains what is happening:
8/25/2006This has been a very different kind of week. I started receiving phone calls from my ex-husband regarding the back child support and the lien on the house on Monday night. He left me a total of 6 messages on my cell phone, 1 message at my work phone, and 2 messages on my e-mail for my web-site and 1 message on the Rip Off Report that I have started against his irresponsibility for not paying his child support.
During these phone messages and him trying to contact me he never once mentioned the fact that the house that him and his estranged wife (from the broker who is handling the pre-foreclosure of the house I was told that Kelly left him and moved to Florida with their daughter, where she has a home down there that is not in her or Richard's name, but in the name of a relative, and the reason why Kelly left him was because of all the liens that are on the property but the one for back child support in particular caused her to leave) had stopped making the mortgage payments back in March or April, and that the mortgage company is foreclosing.
There are 4 liens on the home. The legal amount of child support that is in arearages will be negotiated between myself, Monterey County, and 3 other companies (Teddy's Oil & Energy, LLC; Dubaldo Realty Purnel, LLC and Monterey County, Department of Child Support Services. This is happening because of both of their failures to take care of their financial responsibilities and wanting to move to Florida.
Richard has said that he does love the kids, and thinks that this is best for the children, and will clear up what he owes and that something is better then nothing, because if I refuse to negotiate then the children will end up with nothing for their futures. Shows a real love of a father for his children that he has not bothered to come and see for 15 years, although he will always blame me for him not coming to CA to see or even get to know the kids.
With this new information that I have gathered and also had verified via the Assessors office for Hartford County, and the law offices of (Hunt Leibert Jacobson, P.C) what this shows is a total disregard for the children that are brought into this world. The non-custodial parent can LEGALLY not pay his/her bills, force his/her home into foreclosure, and force the custodial parent into negotiations that should, in the first place, not be happening.
It isn't the custodial parent, or the children's fault, that the non-custodial parent doesn't like where they live, the new husband/wife is resentful for his/her inability to take care of his/her financial obligations, has now left him/her for it, and he/she has now quite 3 jobs in the past 2 years. His last job he quit on August 21, 2006. Now here is a perfect example of Parent of the Year. (Although this is a bio about my own situation, I did want to be correct as to what gender reads this).
For those out there who think that my tactics are harsh and that I shouldn't involve my children in this, get a clue that is why it is called child support it involves the children, live a day in my life, before you judge me. For those who choose to judge me harshly, take a look at your own children while they are sleeping, they look like your little angels,think about if you were in a similar situation, and how hard you are willing to fight for what is rightfully your children's?
For those that have not been in this kind of situation and don't know what it is like, ask a friend of yours who may be going through a similar situation and how they feel about the father/mother of the child(ren) who is not paying child support. How hard do they work to provide everything for their children? How much do they love their children? What would they do for their children's future?
As a custodial parent, this kind of action and irresponsibility of a so called adult", is disgusting and should be considered a crime against the children involved. I will continue to fight for the child support that is still going to be due for the next 3 and 1/2 years for my son, since my daughter turns 18 next month and will be considered emancipated because she is not in high school any more, although she is still living at home and going to college full-time. He will still be in the arrears for what is accruing each month that goes by and he doesn't work. The cycle will start all over again in Florida.
8/29/2006-As I have written this bio and it just keeps on getting bigger. I have found out more today and it is amazing how family, who have been claiming to be so close, can actually help in destructing the family unit. Richard will know what I am talking about. How could you screw up your life so bad? It is just amazing. Your family, the law and the child support enforcement will take care of your lack of being an adult. I am moving on with some other work that I am working on. Also I am not forgetting about the child support that is still owing for the future. Try counseling, it may help you with your own problems, even though you knocked it for us, (the kids and I).
8/30/2006-Richard-I did receive your response back. Even though jobs may be scarce back there, when adults have responsibilities to take care of, and children to take care of, any job will do to meet those financial obligations. I have had to do that in the past, and if I had to do it again I sure would do it. Talk is cheap, actions speak loader then words do. What is happening in your life is by your own doing, and your inability to handle your responsibilities in your life. The kids do know what is going on and yes, responsibility and telling the truth is a part of our household. Your opinion as to whether I tell them what is going on or not is not a decision for you to make, or for anyone else to make. I have spoke with the kids and neither one want to talk with you, or any other member of your family.
8/31/2006-The saga still continues. Angie, if there is something that you want to say, and no I don't mean to me, to Stefanie or Steven, you can also write to them. Talking to them on the phone, no they won't do. They have made that very clear. They don't want to talk with you or any other member of your family. That is also due to your inability to have any contact with them until this past year. Angie-if I lived in a fantasy world then this would not be happening and the child support would be up to date. Reality is a different situation all together.
9/1/2006-I have spoke both with CT and CA Child Support. Richard, you have not reported your new phone number or address. If you are going to stay in CT then you need to let them know or let CA know. If you truly aren't running from the child support then you need to take care of this matter. If you are going to still be there for 120 days as you have reported, then there was no reason for you to quit your job.
9/8/2006-The new information that I have been able to find out from this broker for the house in CT is that this is all a family affair. The person, Sandi, who is doing the title check and all of the paperwork happens to know Vanessa, they work together (who is Michael's girlfriend, Richard's brother) and she gave it over to Sandi who is handling it for Kelly because Vanessa, and/or Michael, are the second lien holders on the home and is one of the people who are foreclosing on the home for not paying back the 85,000.00 that was borrowed last summer. She also said that there was bad blood between Rich and Vanessa/Michael.
I was wondering why a broker was so willing to give me information on a house that doesn't belong to me but that my children have an interest in. I have consulted with the people who give me legal advice and have verified that it is all legal. In my opinion it may all be legal, but morally it is wrong on many different levels. I haven't heard anything from his family at all, and the quite is great. It really is a sad situation when, as being an adult, you can't take care of your situation, or your life, better then you have been able too.
No wonder you were trying so hard to get a hold of me, and telling me that it really is in the best interest of the children. You really have no idea what is in the best interest of the children. The break that I gave you for 46,901.00 back when the original agreement was made just isn't enough for you.
I gave the wrong amount forgive before, now run with that.
9/16/2006-I have been in touch with the California Department of Child Support Services, Public Information Office. The person I spoke with, Erica, said that everyone in the office is impressed with my web-site and that the office will be sending me as much information as they can. She said that there are some reports that are already ready with the information that I am looking for. There are improvements being made, and I have been doing reading on the new changes, like the computer system upgrades and the fact that most of the workers are in training learning the new computer system. When I got home and told my kids and my husband they were very impressed.
Even though my ex-husbands family and a few choice others, don't believe that what I do is important, I am helping other people and it is a wonderful feeling. It is a lot of work and a lot of research and reading, but I am helping people and that is what I have been wanting to accomplish all along with my site.
He did pay child support for this month though (September) $151.51, divided by 2 $75.76, divided by 4 equals $18.94.
#270 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, September 22, 2006
POSTED: Friday, September 22, 2006
Laura said:
Nick go put your head back in the sand where you apparently have come from. Foster care doesn't pay well??? !!! Who are you trying to get sympathy from? LOL your so full of it.
I wasn't trying to get sympathy from anyone. I was pointing out that a two-income family can more than suffice the care of two kids, which Sharon has. If Foster Care paid so well, WHY AREN'T MORE PEOPLE DOING IT, Laura? Because it doesn't pay well - it is a mere stipend, and CANNOT be compared to child support payment amounts. Ignorance is no excuse, Laura, so quit guessing, and guessing wrong at that. If you're going to wind yourself into such a tizzy, make it at least factual.
Laura said:
Last of all to Nick... CAN YOU THINK FOR YOURSELF.. or do you just always go off half cocked copying and pasting..
You don't want to know what I think of you. Responding to your asanine comments makes it necessary to post your original statement so my response stays in context, and the reader can follow along.
Why do you have sand in your pants over my quoting you? This is your 4th or 5th complaint. Does it bother you that I have a valid response to your emotional outbursts?
Laura said:
It is people like you who make it seem ok for the next father to do the same thing to their own child.
"People like me"? I'm taking care of kids who don't HAVE a father or mother, or whose parents chose drugs over feeding their kids.
You are attempting to stereotype me into either how you want to imagine me, or what you hate about men in general. So let me explain in a manner than even a simpleton like you can understand.
I agree Rich should pay for his share, and I've always said that. Yes, I did question some of the "charges", but that's my freedom to do on this post. I've also said Rich should pay the "rears", and he should do it sooner than later.
So if you can point where I said otherwise, please, copy and past it, Laura.
I also think if Sharon want to see any of that money, she should knock off her online diary which would make Rich look like an idiot to a perspective employer. Empolyers do Google names to see what comes up. And guess what!
I'd even argue that Sharon is part of the problem, tho she likes to play the victim, and does a great job at manipulating "needs for the kids" when it's just cash in their pocket.
Sharon has been caught in a few lies on her own ROR. Oh, sorry, "miscalculations", and has been caught up in her own web of figures, exaggerations and suggestions that have been untrue, or at best, trumped by other people who know her.
Yes, while Sharon IS taking care of the kids, and my hats off to that, it DOESN'T give her the right to lie, fabricate and slandor, which can legally backfire on her. You know what? Forget I said that. Keep going, Sharon.
In Sharon's mind, I am convinced that as long as Rich owes money, Sharon can be as reckless as she wishes to be, and she will eventually go overboard. So Laura, if you want to stand behind that and look like an idiot with her, be my guest.
Laura said:
He asked you Sharon if you cared to tell us what your goal is.. HEY NICK.. If you haven't figured that out by now it's a lost cause so you should give up and go spend quality time with your foster kids.
Laura, they are at school right now. But before I depart, my fellow "lost cause", let me remind you that YOU ALSO seemed to have a little trouble "Figuring that out by now" in this very ROR Report on 5-19 when you posted to Sharon:
Laura said:
I'm sorry but it appears to me you [Sharon] are the one being unreasonable in this situation. Forcing a man to "come to you" instead of working on a good relationship for the children to be had with their father? Signing away funds that your children would actually see from him? Saying well he sent things to them but it took to long.("3 months later") Does that make it not count anymore? It seems nothing they try to do is acceptable to you in my opinion.
It seems that you wanted a war. Well you have succeeded in getting exactly what you wanted, and that is a war between family. Why I am unsure. That is not rational behavior, nor is it good parenting.
It seems the only person playing a game is you. I'm sorry, I have nothing more to say on the matter, and I will stay out of this conversation [Nicks note: Ha ha ha, yeah right!], as it would appear it is going to continue to be unreasonable, and I have my own dead beat (who is actually one) to deal with.
Once again Sharon - Children are not pawns to use in child support games.
Laura - Lebanon, Oregon
U.S.A.
-----end of Laura's rant.
WOW! Hey Laura, I agreed with you back then!
You got more flip-flops than a Payless Shoe Store!
You're only sticking up for Sharon because you now realize you have a deadbeat dad on your hands, and you're mad that people are attacking someone who is less than honest, but otherwise, shares your situation. Didn't you fill out your own ROR for a deadbeat, Laura?
Nobody would be questioning Sharon if her story was straight. But it's not. And her motives and need for revenge is obvious, and that's what I wanted to know. If it was for revenge, or for the kids.
It appears to be about revenge. It SHOULD just be about the kids, and leaving the revenge alone, but we're not grown-up enough here to grasp that concept. And even better, we're teaching our KIDS that revenge is good and healthy and encouraging them to participate!!
THAT is what I wanted to know. And I think you got me a little closer to making that opinion valid, Laura.
Now you two have a good time whining about what is owed to you instead of enjoying what you already have.
#271 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, September 23, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, September 23, 2006
BOTH BIOLOGICAL PARENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR TAKING CARE OF THEIR CHILREN, REGARDLESS IF THEY ARE TOGETHER, SEPERATED, DIVORCED OR REMARRIED. IF YOU CAN'T BE THERE EMOTIONALLY THEN BE THERE FINANCIALLY, IF YOU CAN'T BE THERE FINANCIALLY THEN BE THERE EMOTIONALLY. ONE WAY OR THE OTHER THE CUSTODIAL PARENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE.
As for my on line diary, I will keep it going. You don't like it, don't read it, freedom of choice. Go to a different ROR, there are plenty more "DEADBEAT" stories on this site for you to pick from. There are other ones that also list their ex's names, addresses, and phone numbers. You have the "freedom" to post to their sites as well.
Richard has QUIT 3 (THREE) jobs in the past 2 1/2 years. Have I made him quit, NO. He has done so on his own accord. If he is so worried (or in this case YOU) about his name being Googles then, and this is just a shot in the dark, HE SHOULDN'T QUIT HIS JOB. Better yet, why don't you give him a job. He is somewhere between CT and FL.
Here is what he legally owes, CALCULATIONS ARE NOT WRONG.
current for month of September $796.49
arrearages
$20,726.57
county
$51,081.38
Grand total
$72,604.44
He also owes medical, which he refuses to pay for.
The people you THINK clam to know me haven't seen, been involved, spoken to, been here for a visit, in 15 years.
The kids have lived with me all of their lives here in CA. His family lives on the East coast, our paths haven't crossed in our day to day lives. So how can people claim to know the kids or I??
I haven't lied, fabricated or slandered anyone. Richard quits jobs (FACT), doesn't pay what he is supposed to pay in child support or in his share of the medical bills (FACT), didn't pay child support until I agreed to forgive $46,901.00 of the $82,336.00 that he was already behind on, this amount doesn't include interest (FACT), wouldn't pay child support until I worked out an agreement with him for $498.00 a month even though the kids were entitled to $1,328.00 per month(FACT), has never been back out to CA to see the kids since he left CA (FACT). I HAVE ALL OF THE COURT PAPERS.
Since everyone, including yourself, is entitled to their own opinion (which you so elequently have expressed in your previous posting to me: liar, fabricator, slanderor and an idiot) let me make it clear that you don't know me, my children or my family. Now you want to talk about who calls others names, you just have, contradiction there.
You aren't the type of person I would trust at all with my children, or how the county that you live in, trusts you with the care and well being of someone elses child is beyond me. The again there is a lot that is wrong with the Foster Care System as well as the Child Support System in this county. You call me mean, hateful, and vengeful, look in the mirror, your anger could be directed at the parents whose children you claim to be taking care of, seems to me you would rather direct it at me, I am not your punching bag or your release mechanism for pent up anger against parents who don't take care of their children. I happen to take care of mine.
I don't need anyone to stick up for me nor do I ask for it. The ROR was filed to show the injustice of an adult not taking care of his child support obligations to his biological children in CA. I created my web site to help other custodial parents out there who are trying to get the child support that their children deserve, and if you don't like it don't go to it. He hasn't been there for them emotionally (FACT), so I will hold him financially accountable (ALSO A FACT). If you don't like that then you are the one with the problem.
#272 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, September 23, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, September 23, 2006
Sharon you sure are all up in Rich and Kelly's PERSONAL LIFE that has nothing to do with you and frankly, I think your GLOATING about their breakup becuase of your unwaivered attempts, even cruel attempts at obtaining child support. So you enjoyed that they broke up?! What about THEIR DAUGHTER???!!! You are an insensetive witch, and taught your children to act the same, I am no longer buying the poor Sharon, fighting for my kids rights, you stated earlier the kids get the money, then you said you told your daughter, YOU HAD TO USE HER MONEY TO PAY BILLS, and she just laughed, remeber that entry Sharon?! So I which is it?! You took great joy in posting the PROBLEMS they were having becuase OF YOU, NOT THE KIDS! and Nick is 100% right about you, this is NOT about YOUR kids or support, Rich wrote and tried to say he loved his kids, and did they read that?! I highly doubt it, and he said he had positve changes for you, and the man tries and you slamm him and his family.Now you are gloating about how you broke up another CHILDS HOME! GOOD FOR YOU, YOU made Kelly so miserable she didn't know what else to do, and if she did leave Rich why are HER LIVING ARRANGEMENTS STILL YOUR BUSINESS??!!! You say you are well off finacially is it necesarry for you to contact the mans employer before he even has his first day? I bet you bother his job by calling too, in your effort to destroy him, he even said he owed support and was willing to work it out with you, but yet again SHARON isn't having any of that is she?! SO no, this site isn't to help people its to hurt people and destroy another childs life, I hope you feel good about yourself Sharon and I hope your husband has an ex girlfriend somewhere that does that your family.What goes around comes around as you say and BOY is your Karma bank full of hate, better brace your self you are gonna get hit hard by karma. AND PLEASE stop your victim stance, your whole purpose here was to hurt his family and now they broke up becuase of YOUR harrassement, money was offered , you refused, and I don't care what your stupid reasons were for not taking the 20k, the point is it WAS OFFERED TO YOU , FOR THE KIDS , IT WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH you had to ruin another childs life first, you are vindictive and hateful, and I thank God when I left my first husband who really was a deadbeat dad, I didn't bad mouth or harrass him or HIS new family , and I never relied on him for support. I did what I had to do for my kids ,and that was to care for them physically and mentally without hatred. and you know what, he blew his brains out when the courts caught up with him, so thats a deadbeat! I got in 19 years, 189.00 to be exact for 2 kids he never saw in 19 years, so pardon me if i have no SYMPATHY FOR YOU, AND YOUR TACTICS, TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN TO HATE, WILL TEACH THEM TO TEACH THEIR CHILDREN TO HATE , THAT IS WHAT YOU ACCOMPLISHED. i never would have bad mouthed my childs father to them over money or anything else.you POOR THING , YOU MAKE MOTHERS LIKE ME MAD AS hE**, YOUR DAUGHTER FLEW TO HER GRANDPAS, WHY CAN'T RICH BUY HER A TICKET AND YOU STATED YOU WOULDN'T LET HER FLY TO HIM , HYPOCRITE THATS THEIR FATHER LIKE IT ORNOT MADE THAT CHOICE AND WHEN THE MAN DOES REACH OUT, YOU SLAMM THE DOOR, SO NOW YOU HAVE SHOWN ALL OF US WHAT YOU REALLY ARE VINDICTIVE. your ENJOYMENT IN HAVING A HUGE ROLE IN TEARING THAT FAMILY APART MAKES ME SICK, NO WONDER THEY DON'T RESPOND,Look how you react when he tried? It wasn't about money it, was about YOU and HATRED and you were NOT thinking of the KIDS involved only SHARON, AND SHARON'S REVENGE, thats why you emailed out and posted a page about this, revenge, and now you got it, some other CHILD is hurt unnecessarily, and you are happy about it, thats just sick, and leave Kelly alone now, she has been through and put up with enough, so much it cost her marriage, and you know what you did that I cannot believe?! You even know her whereabouts and how she lives AFTER she left Rich! Thats sick., If your kids had it so bad, why on earth would you want to tear that family apart, and put another INNOCENT child through that?Becuase you got a thrill thats why, and you even know Kelly's living arrangements after she left Rich, you are too far gone up their bu*T Sharon, time to crawl out.
#273 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, September 25, 2006
POSTED: Monday, September 25, 2006
Talk about an emotional outburst! Ruth that was very to the point, and very emotional. You have agreed with Nick. (well what Nick is NOW saying as he also changed his mind as well, but judges others for doing the same.) I'll just bet it's okay for those who agree with you (nick) to have those what you call "emotional outbursts" though right Nick?
Wow your really on top of things Nick if you have questions about my ROR why don't you catch up and state your opinion there, instead of going off the handle without knowing facts about anything your speaking of. Ohh I remember your opinion on MY ROR was always where's the money.. is he paying, and something along the lines of child support being like a "car payment."
CHILDREN NEED BOTH PARENTS. Richard has CHOSEN to abandon his kids. Children are not just a bill, but sadly in this situation it has become exactly that. These kids are nothing more than a bill anymore to Richard, and Sharon has from her own words and actions never denied Richard from seeing his own children.
Tell me, if the father of your children lived in a different state why would you fly your children out to see someone? Instead why does the father not take the initiative and go see his kids? His kids don't want to see him, because he never came and saw them throughout their life. If Richard would have made the effort to see them all these years and often throughout the years, I'll just bet their opinion of him would be different now.
Richard did this to himself. I have never said I agree with a lot of Sharon's actions, a lot of them are things I wouldn't do. But I'm not Sharon, and Sharon has her own ideas on how to do things in the situation she is in and has been in for 18 years now. She does I'm sure what she thinks is best given the situation. Who are we to say it is wrong not living each day as she does?
It may seem like Sharon is vendictive, and on the outward appearance things may not be done as you or I would do them, but it does not make her a mean spiteful person. If you stop and think about the things she has gone through in the 18 years of raising these kids, I think you may think twice about doing nothing but calling Sharon (the MOTHER) (THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS BEEN THERE IN ALL THIS TIME)names.
Sharon has the RIGHT to collect child support.. WHY? Because the LAW SAYS SO. Because it takes TWO to make children, and it takes TWO to raise them. The two who brought them into the world are the TWO responsible. If one of them chooses to flee (like a criminal) then they are STILL going to be held financially responsible. THAT IS FACT.
Nick: As for your copying and pasting techniqes, I just get really tired of reading the same thing I've already read previous to YOUR replies again and again on your replies. Maybe you need to copy and paste so you remember what was said so you can respond? Maybe you cannot retain information? Who knows, what I do know is you bore me with your critizisms and outbursts, while you sit at your computer feeling holier than thou.
Factually a dead beat like Richard is the reason why we have the laws we do in making those who choose to walk away from their own children at least accountable financially. The government cannot make him "go see his kids" only his own conscience can, so the government (and us voters) put laws there to regulate and make sure a father (and yes mothers who do this as well-how I'll never know) at least helps out financially. There are obvious ways to get around these laws as we read here, and on most the other ROR.
Do you know when a CUSTODIAL parent gets listened to in the eyes of the government? When they won't give it a rest, when they DO stand up for what is right by their kids. All of you who think getting what is owed to the kids is wrong, are the ones who need a reality check. If Rob (my baby's daddy) did what Richard is doing, I would do exactly what I did before, and I WOULD go after him for child support. GOOD FOR YOU SHARON for doing what is RIGHT by YOUR KIDS. Keep fighting .. It DOES pay off. Everyone told me what I was doing was wrong.. Let it go, move on, they all said.. When I did NOT let it go is when I came out stronger, and things became right by MY BABY. Don't back down, and don't give up. Things will work out.
All the best-
#274 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Monday, September 25, 2006
POSTED: Monday, September 25, 2006
Laura-I read your reply, thanks for your support. Although we don't agree, it is okay to disagree and I am happy that things are going good for you.
Now for Ruth-
Ruth-I will tell you the same thing that I have told Nick. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THEN MOVE ON.
His problems he has created. He lives on the East coast and I live on the West coast, our paths don't cross.
Their personnal life was told to me and verified. He legally owes the child support (FACT). Their child is their business and they can handle that as they see fit to handle that situation.
You, are a judgemental "insensitive wich", who has far to much time on her hands. I have not lied to my kids, but have stuck up for what is rightfully theirs because the court systems aren't set up for the children to go after the "DEADBEAT" parent who doesn't acknowledge them.
Your pity is not needed or asked for by me or my children.
Stefanie laughed at hearing that Richard had yet agian quit another job, as they are so easy to come by, AGAIN, I WILL NOT DISCLOSE WHAT MY EXPENSES ARE (THIS HAS BEEN REPEATED BEFORE) Care to disclose what your expenses are??
Just as Kelly has taken great joy (on the internet, on my cell phone, home phone and even my work phone), as well as you and Nick, picking everything apart and acting as if you know me, you don't, and neither does ANYONE on his side of the family.
Yes the kids did read it. Steven could care a less one way or the other and Stefanie just laughed. How can Richard claim to have feelings for them when he has not given them the time of day, or for that fact doesn't even remember their birthday's.
Here is an idea, you and Nick can start a ROR about me. Then you can call me all the names you like, like VENDICTIVE B***, and all the rest. You can go ahead and say whatever you want about me, you are someone who writes nasty things to someone that you don't know, and passes judgement, I don't need your approval for anything that I do.
Yes his employer was contacted by me to verify that yes he was employed because it had been 9 months since any child support payments had been made (and has been stated before he didn't notify me of a change, called common courtesy) and that the information was correct. Also contacted him to let him know that child support still was not coming to the kids for the first two months after he started working there. I also called when he quite his job, and again, NO he didn't tell me that he quit. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT, BUID A BRIDGE AND GET OVER IT.
Is it necessary for him to contact my employer and complain about how he is not allowed to see his "biological" children? Or for his wife to call and ask about my benefits and then him to call me to tell me about it?
Actually I get along with my husbands ex-girlfriends quite well, thank you. They are all married and have their own families, but thanks for asking.
Karma does come back around and yours is just as full with as much hate as you claim mine to be.
Again, 20K conditional of taking the lien off of the house. APPARENTLY YOU CANNOT READ EITHER.
Good for you for NOT sticking up for what rightfully was your children's, I guess that makes you mom of the year. Let people walk on you, good lesson to teach your children, I teach mine not to do that. What you ex did he did on his own accord.
If he wants to see the kids it will be here in CA, not on the East Coast, period end of discussion, is there something in that you don't understand.
She can fly to her grandfather's house anytime she wants, he has always been there for her and does love and care about her very much, Richard never has made an attempt to come and see the kids, which he will ALWAYS blame me for as his family will too.
If I make you so mad then why do you and Nick continue to keep his name at the top of the list? If you are mad as H*** the start your own ROR. Or you and Nick can start a fan club for Richard and his family.
I didn't tear his family apart. As Kelly has stated many many times, she knew what she was getting into. It was a decision that was made betweeen them, I was not a part of that discussion.
Yes I do know of the where abouts and how she is living through the broker and it was not because I asked for the information, the information was told to me. The person that is handling the foreclosure (who knows Vanessa, and Kelly) involved me in the foreclosure, not the other way around. Kelly has claimed to know what she was getting into when she married him, she married him knowing that he was a DEADBEAT, I didn't force her to marry him or have a child by him. Hopefully he will do better by her (his other daughter) then he did by my two.
I have relayed a message for both Vanessa (who has also wrote just glorious information about a person that she doesn't know, and children that she doesn't know) and to Kelly, that I want no contact from either one of them regarding the foreclosure, the third party can handle it.
You and Nick have both found PLEASURE out of ripping me every chance you get. Now crawl your way out of my B***, or don't either way, you and Nick have expressed your opinion of me and I of the both of you.
#275 Update By Author
AUTHOR: Sharon - Marina (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, September 26, 2006
POSTED: Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Here is a description of Richard John Santerre Jr. (This is an old description because it has been so long since I have actually seen him face to face).
Stands about 6'1"-6'2"
Weight somewhere between 170-190 lbs.
Hair-probably short brown hair (probably some grey in it by now) if he lets it get long or grow out it is curly)
Facial hair-Never had facial hair when he was in CA. His facial hair always came in spotty. Could possibly now.
Distinguishing characteristics-I forget which hand it is but his little finger is fused at the joint due to a vise (sp) accident where the joint was crushed and fused back together. He cannot close that finger all the way.
He is into motorcycles and some form of martial arts.
Anyone with information on his whereabouts please contact the Monterey County Department of Child Support at 1-888-313-5163 and ask to speak to Team 5. Or contact the Connecticut Department of Child Support Services at 1-860-566-4098. You may even contact my website.
Thank you,
#276 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, September 28, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, September 28, 2006
First of all, I NEVER, EVER said you weren't entitled to child support, I think your methods are way overboard and hateful, and I really do think that you are happy you broke up his marriage, you hated kelly adn so, you must get SOME satisfaction from that, yesterday I posted a reply and it didn't post , but I feel compelled to tell you this.
First of all, I have no problem telling you MY finacial staus, we are comfortable, and we own everything we have right down to our recreational vehicles. okay?
SECONDLY, I have never said those kids were not entitled to support, but WHAT I DID say was you did YOUR SHARE OF HARRASSMENT ,just as Kelly did and admits too, I was married to a deadbeat dad, in 19 years I received 189.00 from HIS ESTATE, when he blew his brains out, I, however did not make web pages and past my personal life out there for all to see, and if you don't like my comments then you should not make web sites that YOU KNOW people nmay respond negativly to.
YOU have tried topaint yourself a saint yet you admit sending this site out to all of Rich's family and friends, and if Sharon you do not want people in your personal business, you should KEEP it personal and not put it in public forum, you could have found a way to collect support without harassing a family to the point that now, there is your childrens half sister in the same positon , only yours have a step dad now, she doesn't.AS for My kids, I was not weak when it came to mike paying support and going after him, I went to to support even gave them his address. I did not harrass his new wife or drag their children into it, I was realistic, Mike wasn't dependable when we were married, and I knew I could not depend on him for support. So Instead of harrassing him and making some inncents childs life miserable not to mention the effect it would have on my own,instead i focused ON THEM, doing positive things with them, I made sure they had what they needed i did not depend on Mike for that, they KNOW who was there and who wasn't I rasied a daughter and son that are A students and my daughter graduated with honors from high school, she is now happily married with the father of my 2 grandchildren which i must say are beautiful kids too.
I took my son to scouts, karate, and my daughter to dance classes, and after school sports, what I am saying is yes, you do deserve child support, and yes, I agree kids do need BOTH parents, and for their sake, you guys should make more of an effort to resolve it than making it worse for all of you, their daughter needs her dad too Sharon, you accomplished nothing on this site but show people that you will risk getting him fired, and that you and kelly couldn't even talk civily.
The fact that their dad wasn't around or didn't pay support was not life threatening, and
I made sure they were happy and content, and to this day I don't know if they even know if I wasn't getting support or that he beat me.
I did not discuss their father with them and OUR problems, I did not encourage them to hate his family either,
In the end I ended up with loving, caring and compassionate children, that grew up to be wonderful adults.Being around all that bickering and name calling was not good for anyof the children involved, including kelly's.There is a place called eadbeat dads that will help you if you need it, unfortunately, it was not there for me, but there are avenues besides hate ad spitefullness of collecting the support he owes , which again, I say you are entitled too,
If you did not want peoples opinions Sharon, you should not have created these pages bashing their dad.This hasn't gotten you support neither site has, it has however created more animosity than necessary for someone trying to collect child support, it has gotten you revenge and now a 3rd child is separated from her father as well.YOU COULD HAVE ACTED A LITTTLE NICER and Kelly did her share and admits it.I honestly think you did this for revenge and to get even and I find it hard to believe you aren't taking any satifaction in the fact your harrassment, cuased themt o separate.Now if I thought you did this so somehow maybe you could get child support thats different, but alli have seen(myself included) is bashing.
When you created this ROR, you invited people to come in to YOUR personal business , so now when people tell you what you don't want to hear , well, they should stop coming by? Also, I do not have too much time on my hands, I have a son in scouts, and we have fundraisers, meetings, conferences in school, and volunteer work.
I haven't been on in awhile in case you hadn't noticed, and yes I was curious to see how far this thing had gone, I was shocked that you wrote gloating about their separation.My first thought was of their child, just as I thought of yours growing up around all that yelling, hatred, and so forth, I honestly think you could them and yourself a favor by finding a much less violatile way of handling this, your emotions come through loud and clear, and they are PURE hatred for Rich ,Kelly and even His little girl, becuase she had Rich her daddy living with her.YOU did harassing phone calls too Sharon, and none of you acted adult like with screamfest, disrespecting the dead, and letting your kids swear, and listen to screaming matches on speaker phones,and pitting them against their half sister, grandparents which have nothing to do with you collecting support form RICH,, you guys could have resolved this without speaker phones or disrespecting the dead.Then, you complained that your daughter heard that and was upset, knowing there was going to be rude exchanges you should have left the speaker phone off, if only to protect you daughter from hearing things like that.
I think maybe you got satisfaction letting those kids hear all the gory details, and like I said this site did nothing for you Sharon, it didn't make you look good to people, and if you don't want people in your personal life, then KEEP IT PERSONAL and stop making web bashing pages.YOU YOURSELF INVITED EVERYONE INTO YOUR PERSONAL LIFE WHEN YOU CREATED THIS SITE, no one but you Sharon, you even emailed it out so you could show off your handiwork, there was no point in that, did that get you your child support?!So, if you do not like my opinion sorry, you shouldn't have posted this page then.YOU did leave out things you did and you did leave out they did get support atone time and gifts etc.becuase that made them look worse, it wasn't until kellyspoke up and said they did, then you admitted it, I cannot see how this has helped you oranyother single parent get support, I can see how you used it to get revenge.NOW, there's another child whose feelings not once did you consider that IS like it or not YOUR KIDS HALF SISTER, and she is young, and has done NOTHING, as did your kids, to deserve to be caught in this volitale mess.
#277 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Elizabeth - Saint Charles (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, September 29, 2006
POSTED: Friday, September 29, 2006
This one has really gotten out of control hasn't it? It takes longer to read this than some of the Tupper Lake postings.
Ultimately what it all comes down to is what is best for the children involved. Not just Sharon and Rich's children but the daughter shared by Kelly and Rich as well. It is very clear that none of the parents involved in this situation are concerned with the best interests of the children.
I am sure that Sharon has done a good job of making sure the kids material needs are met just as I am sure that Rich has missed out on a lot of very important events and moments in the kids lives. However, those are not all that matter in a childs life. Children should be taught problem solving skills, respect, relationship/conflict solving abilities, etc. Those are not being taught to these children and they are the ones who will suffer for it, not the parents.
Let's all just hope that the parents involved here will learn to let go of all the anger, bitterness, hatred and pettiness long enough to encourage the children and take the steps to teach the children the importance of family. Sharon needs to get over herself and encourage these children to know their father. Rich needs to get off his butt and get himself involved in the kids lives. Neither of these will happen without the other.
It's so sad when you go to the "Dead Beat Dads" or "Dead Beat Moms" postings and see all of this junk. My dad wasn't the best supporter in my life either BUT I respect my mother for allowing me to learn that on my own and never speaking ill of him. I would be mortified to surf the internet and find my dad on here. Doesn't anyone on these postings have any respect for your childrens privacy? Oh thats right, its okay to throw away their privacy in the interest of bashing their dad on a public forum. No wonder so many kids today know so little about respect. No one respects them.
#278 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, September 30, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, September 30, 2006
I so agree with you, I asked my grown kids what they thought of all this, I didn't let them read it, I just asked them how they would have felt if I did this to their biological dad, interestingly, they BOTH told me it would hurt them, and they would lose all respect for me. That what happened in our family should stay in our family, and sending it out for all to see had to be REVENGE.
They told me they respected the fact I never put their father down or tried to bash on him, they said they never knew he didn't pay support or hit me critically , they did know he committed suicide becuase I told them ( they were 22 and 23 when he died)and I told them what I put on here, they are 24 and 25 now and I know now in my heart I was right about the kids, and what effect this must be having on them. I too, feel sorry for them, yes Rich should step up to the plate, but Sharon doesn't have to make it harder than it already is on everyone.
Now another family is destroyed another child without her dad, and i find that no one thought of how this would effect them. Sharon had every right to pursue her support, but crossed the line involving the kids, and fighting with speaker phones on etc.Calling ones employer is enough to get one fired , and Like I said I do NOT SEE how she gained anything to get her support, or help another single parent get support,through her actions and these sites.IT accomplished nothing but tearing another family apart. Iam SO glad I never habored that kind of hate for my kids dad, and I surely had nothing against his new wife and their children, I did what was best for mine, and I am pretty sure I raised them well.
The fighting and revenge should stop, Sharon can go places that specialze in helping people get support owed, and it isn't here bashing on their father.I am so glad i focused on making my childrens lives full and positive anddidn't drag them into my problems.They had more they ever would have had if I satyed with that man, they had a PEACEFUL HOME a HAPPY ONE, one where they were the focus and we spent our energy with my new husband of 23 years working to make them happy, I didn't need mike for that, or his support, heck he couldn't keep the lights on, and I thought he would pay 300.00 a month in support?Not worth all the trouble, I told the state where to find him and thats the extent of it. I was happily remarried and you know I gave my kids the best gift of all, A REAL FATHER , MY husband told my children there are no STEPS in this house and even gave them his name, he was by my side through all their conferences and games etc.He was at my side when they were sick or we were having our family time, once a week we went to church, and then we spent the whole day not working but playing with our kids, sometimes we drove to the beach, we went bowling, eveyone of our friends envied our FAMILY'S HAPPINESS and my kids are good kids, my 10 year old has helped me through numerous surgeries, even crawling in my hospital bed at night to be with his mom, and dad was there all night too, you see I have a bad heart, was in an accident, and I could have died everytime they HAD TO OPERATE. Sure, I could have focused on making Mike pay, but then my family wouldn't have been so happy, so I chose happiness over fighting with Mike, now I am not saying Sharon you shouldn't pursue your support, just try to focus more on your family, money can't go with you to the grave, all it can do is buy you a nice coffin and a spot under a tree in the end. You cannot change Richard, he will pay or he won't but BOTH of you are missing whats really important , having good memories and a long lifetime with your kids, be blessed you have them Sharon and enjoy them, let the state or an attorney or the courts go after him, he will in the end pay I am sure.I hope you all can let this hostility go,and I hope someday all of Rich's kids get to be a real family. Afterall, their child never did anything to you Sharon, nothing. Her life is a wreck right now, and this is the reason for it. Life is too short and risky to spend it hating your ex and driving everyone crazy by calling employers , the speaker phone thing I swear, I can't understand why if you knew you were gonna argue, that you would go so far as to let those kids hear it, they know who was there and who wasn't, this isn't helping you or them.Instead of being so focused on Rich and his life , live yours and do it with your kids in a positive healthy way.
#279 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Shannen - Ogden (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, October 07, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, October 07, 2006
I had thought quite awhile before posting. All I can say is this situation is so sad. Sharon, I admire your strength and determination, but this is going to destroy you. I watched it happen to my own mother. She hasn't been able to let it go and its been 30 years. I can't imagine what its done to your children. Either through apathy or guilt, this father does not know his children and their right to know him has been eroded.
I am also a single mother, so I have empathy for your situation. Many a nights I have wondered about where the money for medical expenses and new shoes is coming from. I am grateful that after a very painful and acrimonious divorce my ex husband and I have been able to aside our feelings and accept the dual responsibility of raising our children. We keep the lines of communication open and I have learned to let a lot of my feelings go. I would get angry when he wasn't paying to the letter of our order, and then one day realized that the only person that I was giving an ulcer to, was myself. He and I came to an agreement that we can both live with and our children are better off for it. I am grateful that my children have a step-mother that loves them and is a source of support and friendship. This isn't the way that I had planned it, but things don't always work out the way we plan.
To the family and friends that feel the need to chime in with their 2 cents, I have only one thing to say. There is enough pain and heartache in this situation to go around, and when you come along and stir the misery pot with wild accusations it makes the situation that much worse. I believe that Sharon deserves your respect just for the fact that she has raised 2 children pretty much on her own. And as the mother of your niece and nephew she should be given the utmost respect.
#280 Consumer Suggestion
AUTHOR: Nick - Hollywood (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Saturday, October 28, 2006
POSTED: Saturday, October 28, 2006
Laura said:
As for your copying and pasting techniqes, I just get really tired of reading the same thing I've already read previous to YOUR replies again and again on your replies.
Well, sorry to hear that. I copy and paste so that words you type are put into context. I also copy and paste to show where Sharon continuously contradicts herself with changing stories, misguided math and contradictory statements. Like when they got "NO Christmas gifts", but that magically turned into "Well, CRAPPY Christmas Gifts" after Kelly arrived and that turned into the "No Christmas Gifts - just send cash" rant. Need a few other examples?
I don't particularly care if I bore you, Laura. This isn't your thread, and again, you inject your Laura-and-Rob situation in here. That bores me, since if I wanted to read your drivel, I'd check out your ROR. Which I don't. Don't bring it here.
Laura said:
(well what Nick is NOW saying as he also changed his mind as well, but judges others for doing the same.)
I changed my mind after facts began to surface. You changed your mind because all of a sudden, you were faced with a similar situation. It's the difference between an outside opinion, and someone like you who is biased because of her own personal situation. Was that too "holier than tho"?
Now for Sharon:
Since everyone, including yourself, is entitled to their own opinion (which you so elequently have expressed in your previous posting to me: liar, fabricator, slanderor and an idiot)
I didn't call you an idiot. But I shouldn't be surprised at the exaggeration. Unless you can show me WHERE I called you an idiot, well, there's YET ANOTHER PERFECT EXAMPLE of you being a liar, fabricator AND slanderor.
This should be interesting, Sharon. Show me.
Sharon said:
let me make it clear that you don't know me, my children or my family. Now you want to talk about who calls others names, you just have, contradiction there.
I've seen enough to know what you're about. And I've seen enough to know what your daughter is about. And watching your shameless over-reactions and public displays of insults towards other tells me about what I need to know. And pitting your kids against their dad by letting them listen to your adult conversations on speakerphone is abhorrent behavior.
So no, it's really NOT a contradiction. You've given several examples of lying, fabricating and slandor. Like the Christmas gifts. Like saying your were destitute when you're REALLY married again with two incomes.
Those facts were offered by you, either.
Sharon said:
Go to a different ROR, there are plenty more "DEADBEAT" stories on this site for you to pick from. There are other ones that also list their ex's names, addresses, and phone numbers. You have the "freedom" to post to their sites as well.
Well, I guess that information doesn't apply anymore because he disappeared somewhere anyway, huh? I DO have that freedom. I choose the freedom to stay here and see what other stuff you'll try to pull. I do NOT have the freedom to post on your little website ford-whatever. So instead, I'll come where free exchange of ideas is welcome.
Sharon said:
You aren't the type of person I would trust at all with my children, or how the county that you live in, trusts you with the care and well being of someone elses child is beyond me.
I don't tell my foster children to get on the internet and insult their biological parents, if that's what you mean. Nor would I ever make my real or foster kids "victims" like you do, but that's your right.
Sharon said:
I don't need anyone to stick up for me nor do I ask for it.
Right. You're the modest type.
Sharon said:
You and Nick have both found PLEASURE out of ripping me every chance you get.
I ripped apart several of your ARGUMENTS because they didnt logicly add up. But there you go, being the victim again. No, really, don't let me stand in your way.
Ruth - good to see you, and thank you for pointing out the obvious.
Sharon said:
Now crawl your way out of my B***, or don't either way, you and Nick have expressed your opinion of me and I of the both of you.
Crawl your way out of my B***? What does that mean? (See Laura, this is why I copy and paste. You'd have no clue what I was talking about if I didn't cut and paste)
Elizabeth said:
My dad wasn't the best supporter in my life either BUT I respect my mother for allowing me to learn that on my own and never speaking ill of him. I would be mortified to surf the internet and find my dad on here. Doesn't anyone on these postings have any respect for your childrens privacy? Oh thats right, its okay to throw away their privacy in the interest of bashing their dad on a public forum. No wonder so many kids today know so little about respect. No one respects them.
That was ONE of the points I've been making all along. What do I know, tho? I'm making millions off of the Foster System, according to Sharon and Laura - who of anyone knows crap about it.
Elizabeth - did you see what Sharon's daughter wrote to her dad's wife? Good lord.
Shannen said:
There is enough pain and heartache in this situation to go around, and when you come along and stir the misery pot with wild accusations it makes the situation that much worse.
If they were wild accusations against the mother, then fine. The way I see it, she was making the wild accusations about conspiracies against her, and her unreasonable tone pretty much set her own ROR into play. Questions were being asked by people who wanted to know FACTS, and slowly, these "wild accusations" turned out to be bullcrap when the other side of the family stepped up and confronted her on her own ROR, and she started being unable to convince people, except her new best friend Laura. She turned down money. She refused vacations. All of a sudden, Richard wasn't as wealthy as she said he was - buying new cars and houses as originally stated. The guy didn't even have anything in his name.
And then she celebrates at Rich and Kelly's marriage breaking up.
I think before you post someone's name on a website, you better have your facts 100% straight. Sharon wasn't even close. And yet, she continues to be proud of her "hard work against injustice". Ironic.
Shannen said:
I believe that Sharon deserves your respect just for the fact that she has raised 2 children pretty much on her own.
She's remarried with a husband, and two incomes. If that's "on your own", then I must have misunderstood what "pretty much on her own" meant. You know, step-parents can be loving and effective too, but Sharon consistently keeps that fact hidden.
But these kids hate their real dad. If Richard didn't effectively do the job on his own, Sharon was there at every opportunity with her pompoms and a megaphone to make sure that happened. And she was there with the speakerphone along the way.
#281 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Ruth - Lake Oswego (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, November 01, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Like I said the kids should NOT be involved in this and you're right, she did state she was raising them by herself, and she is married with 2 incomes, that by no means leaves Rich off the hook, but like I said if my first husband couldn't pay our light bill, or hold a job, wasn't it realistic to assume he would not pay his child support? I still think and agree with you Nick she has contradicited herself alot, and she did take enjoyment out of breaking up that marriage, now my concern is for the little one Rich and Kelly had and Sharon is probably patting herself on the back for what she did to that child, now her daddy's gone, and she got her revenge didn't she? AT the little girls expense, my thoughts are, if it was so rough on her with her kids, why on earth would she take a little girls father away, and ruin his marriage, unless it was for revenge, and I stand by what I said , if she didn't want her personal life on here and responded to , she shouldn't have posted this site, now she wants privacy go figure.
#282 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Laura - Lebanon (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Wednesday, November 22, 2006
POSTED: Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Nick: You seem to be the type of person that takes a stick and pokes it into people's sides just to get them upset, and then sit back and smile about what you've done.
Nick: I did not bring up my ROR here.. you did, and didn't know what you were talking about.. I corrected you which is why it was mentioned at all.
I am not in the same situation, so there again your going off of your own half baked opinions instead of knowing facts about what it is you speak of.
I have said time and time again I do not agree with a lot of Sharon's actions... (Sharon comes on here and simply states to me that we agree to disagree) apparently your interpetation of that Nick was "I agree with everything Sharon has said and done"? Hence this must make me in your eyes.."Sharon's new best friend"
There is a time and place for copying and pasting.. yes your last post was reason to do so, as you well pointed out. However, I was simply stating that your copying and pasting is overdone, and not needed on most occasions for those capable of reading the report for themselves.
Sharon: Sorry for jumping this back up to the top of the pages.. I haven't been around in awhile, and just stopped by to catch up on what was going on with your situation.
I hope everything is going well for you and your kids.
Ruth: I too feel sorry for Rich and Kelly's little girl. I'm sure the situation of the living enviornment she was in had something to do with the choices her mother and father made to seperate. aka fighting, phone calls, harrassments.. ect. However, I don't think it is fair for you to lay that fault completely on Sharon as they ALL took part in those actions, not JUST Sharon.
All the best-
#283 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Lori - Kalkaska (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Thursday, November 23, 2006
POSTED: Thursday, November 23, 2006
I can't even believe that we're still revisiting this post. Sharon hasn't even responded since 9/26, nearly 2 months ago.
Some agree with her actions, others (like me) don't, but the time has come to let this thing die a natural death and fade into the sunset. Continuing this post isn't benefitting anyone, and quite frankly, getting pretty old.
PS Laura, how are things going with Rob? Update us on your post, since it's been awhile since I've seen anything from you. Hug Naomi and the other kids!
#284 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Rich - Columbus (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Friday, December 29, 2006
POSTED: Friday, December 29, 2006
It is truly a sad state of affairs when the courts are the ones raising our families today. Although I agree that you women should get SOME support, I disagree in your tactics to publically humilify the other parent. I believe it to be bad parenting to put your children in the middle of financial matters, especially ones of this matter. That has to be sending them the wrong impression.
After reading many of the complains here, I had to stop because it sound pathetic. Most of you women sound scorned, jealous, and very much envious of the other parently life.
About the NO RIGHTS thing, that is not entirely true, my ex thought the same thing but after a court battle she found out I very much so had just as many rights.
Child support is not a way to control, distroy, or find self gratification or justification, it is merely support to help with the raising of the child. It takes both parents to step up to the plate.
There are many options on getting the money owed. I'm appauled that any parent would go this route to belittle the other parent, and I am truly ashame for you if you drag your kids into this matter. Let your kids be kids and allow them to love both of you. In the end the kids will be the ones that suffer most. Life isnt all about money.
I wish all the Mothers and Father well in their seemly unfortunate pursuit of happiness. LETS JUST REMEMBER THE KIDS.
Good luck!
The complaints just sound angry and bitter, dont believe me try reading through them again.
Concerned in Columbus
#285 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Vanessa - Port Richey (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Tuesday, May 06, 2008
POSTED: Wednesday, May 07, 2008
First off, let me say, that when I first commented on this thread I made it very clear up front that I was no fan of Richards. And I'm STILL NO FAN OF RICHARDS.
Second, I owe Sharon an apology. I have spent the past two and a half years dealing with this family, Rich, Kelly, Dianne, Angie and Mike, and I can say that the accusations that they have ALL made about ME, mirror exactly what they have said about Sharon.
Sharon, you have my sympathy and my total support. These people are an entire FAMILY of 'TRASH'.
Kelly and Rich have attacked my weight, (sorry I didn't lose it fast enough for all of you after mine and Mike's son was born)
Kelly, Rich and Mike have all called me bi-polar as well (FYI, Rich has actually told me that he has a degree in psychology, ROFL) The truth is, when mine and Mike's son was 18 months old, my doctor diagnosed me with PostPartum Depression. Within 2 months, I was pregnant again and couldn't continue with medications. But that's a later part of the story.
They have also accussed ME of being a drug addict too.
Truth be told.
They are actually the addicts. They eat pills. I'm not going to publicize here what they take or how they get it, but they are ADDICTS.
They have referred to mine and Michael's son as, 'the little yo-yo", a "meal ticket" and more. (Mike left me when I was totally BROKE, no electricity in our house, and when I asked for 'child support' to help with Michael [and I was also 2 months pregnant at the time] Mike played the "I want a paternity test" and the "I don't want to support YOU" game...) but that's a later part of the story too.
Kelly and Rich have used fake names on the Internet to harass me and threaten me.
(of course, they have no response for this other than to point out that I write under a pen name for the Internet.)
I'm pretty sure they would fall under the title SOCIOPATH-
they attack anyone that they have SCREWED
it gives them 'just cause' for WHY they screwed that person
massive inferiority complex, like a bully
usually if you stand up to them, they back down but these guys don't back down, instead
they invent lies and use circular logic and projection to justify their behavior
That being said, allow me to tell you about Michael and Richard and Kelly.
I was 30 years old. I was extremely successful and had a hundred thousand dollars in the bank.
I met Mike in late March of 2005. I was head over heels in love with him in no time at all. He was living with a roommate and they were being evicted from the trailer they lived in. I had a rental house that they asked me if they could rent.
They moved in and Mike and I continued to see each other. Then, his roommate announced that she was moving out, at the same time Mike's car broke down. Mike could not afford to fix his car, and he could not afford to live on his own either.
He knew my feelings for him were very strong, and suddenly, he was returning those feelings. And so, he moved in with me and I paid the $730.00 to fix his car.
This was at the end of June.
By the middle of July, I was pregnant. I was unsure of the pregnancy. Mike exhibited a series of irresponsible behaviors, up to and including...
Once I got pregnant, I told Mike that I wanted him to start a business. He worked construction and I didn't want the father of my child working at a job that brought him him home so tired that he was too tired to play with his kids. Construction was a good complement to my business (real estate investing) so we agreed to start a construction company. He was excited about it.
I got him his very own American Express Card on my account, incorporated the business, and took Mike to open a checking account for the business with both of us on it. Only, Mike couldn't even be a signor on a checking account because he had been put in Chex Systems. His name was ON the account, but he couldn't sign checks.
Sign#1 of irresponsible behavior, but hey, s*** happens to everyone, right?
So... after only maybe 2 or 3 weeks of this 'company' being incorporated, Mike started DEMANDING that I put $10,000 in his bank account. I didn't... but in the end it didn't matter....
Now Mike wants a 'partner' he can 'trust' (I would find out later that the only partner that Mike could trust was a man who could NOT BE TRUSTED).... his brother. We talked about it and he wanted to bring his brother down from CT to be his partner. His brother was supposed to be selling his house and moving to FL anyway, so I told him to talk with his brother about it.
Now, suddenly, this is where things got strange. Suddenly, not only is his brother NOT going to SELL his house, he's also going to come down ALONE without his wife and kid, and he said he wanted a $500.00 a week guaranteed salary to come down.
Mike also told me at this time that whatever happens in Florida stays in Florida.
I told Mike that if he's not putting up any money, and he's not taking any risk of going without a paycheck, then he will JUST be an employee and not a partner. And I told him to tell his brother this.
Well, he never did get a chance to tell his brother anything because the next phone call we got from Rich was about some truck that he found in CT that they just HAD TO HAVE for the business. All Mike could tell me was that it was a white F-250 Utility truck.
When I asked questions about how many miles it had, how much it would be to insure it, how much to register it, Mike just SCREAMED at me that he didn't know...
The next day, we went to the bank and Mike STOMPED HIS FEET AND SCREAMED at me in the parking lot of my bank that if I didn't send the check THAT DAY the guy was going to sell the truck to someone else. I tried to explain that we could buy another truck, but he just kept STOMPING HIS FEET AND SCREAMING AT ME,
'THIS IS WHY I WANT $10,000 IN MY BANK ACCOUNT, SO I DON'T HAVE TO ASK YOU FOR EVERY LITTLE THING."
And so I gave in.
Well, after 3 weeks of hearing that Rich would arrive with the truck the next weekend, I started to get upset. During one phone conversation Mike was having with Rich, Mike asked Rich "Do you need the gas money to get down here?" and I HEARD RICH ANSWER "Mike, I'm not worried about that right now"
Next phone is for Rich to tell Mike that we need to send up $350.00 to have the truck registered in Kelly's name, because they didn't have the $350.00 and it couldn't go in Rich's name because his ex-wife would put a lien on that too. This is when I found out about the lien on their house.
I had to draw a line there. I was NOT about to pay $350.00 to register it in Connecticut only to have to pay again to re-register it in Florida, IF IT EVER GOT HERE.
Looking back now, I can't help but wonder IF IT EVER EXISTED.
So, I tell them I want it registered in MY NAME in FLORIDA. This is when I am told that they don't have a TITLE.
WHAT MORON BUYS A VEHICLE WITHOUT A TITLE?
In Florida, it takes an act of Congress to register a car without a title, but they insisted that in Connecticut, it's no big deal. You just apply for a lost title.
Then I get told that they can't get a clear title, the title has a LIEN ON IT. OMG.
So they get a letter from the people who have the lien stating that it's paid in full and the title can be released, and are we going to send the money now? I tell them that I want it registered in MY name in Florida. They tell me it can't be done.
I called the Florida DMV and asked them how we would go about this. They told me that the Manchester PD would have to go out and do a VIN Verification. I told Rich and Kelly this, and they said that the Manchester PD refused to do it. I called the Manchester PD myself and they said "just tell us when you want us to come out maam."
Rich and Kelly INSISTED that the police refused to do it because of the lost title (they still hadn't gotten it.)
[Jumping ahead two years and a few months later- Rich's story changed and suddenly the NEW story is that when I told him he needed to call the police in Manchester to do a Vin Verification he stated that he said he 'had no idea HOW to do that"...
Step 1: Open Phone Book
Step 2: Find Police Phone Number
Step 3: Pick Up Phone
Step 4: Dial Police Number
Step 5: Say these words "I need a Vin Verification at my home please"
And IDIOT can follow that right?
During this time, it was also evident that the construction company was never going to become a reality. Mike would get calls for jobs and not show up. I once took him to a real estate investors meeting where he would introduce himself and tell people that he was starting a new construction company and that he was going to call it 'Do We Screw Em and Howe." I knew then that this business was going nowhere. And eventually I asked him to go back to work just for medical coverage for our son.
And so, several months went by and suddenly we got a phone call, they were going to move to Florida. I told them I had a house that they could live in rent free for six months while they got on their feet and to bring the truck to Florida.
They sent down all the paperwork for the truck, bill of sale, application for lost title, application for registration IN KELLY"S NAME, etc.
Rich suggested that I pay for the gas, the hotel and a plane ticket home for a friend of his to drive the truck to Florida. I was aghast at this ridiculous suggestion. I told Rich to send me pictures of the truck and I was just going to sell it on ebay. He sent me one picture of each rear quarter panel and one picture of the tailgate. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
This was the last straw. I told them to forget the house. I wasn't going to keep dealing with this 'sneakiness, lies, runarounds and rigamarole.'
This is when they first began to call me nuts, bi-polar, crazy... etc.
And so the war began. Rich 'claims' to have had the truck 'towed' off his property.
My guess is he sold it.
And they didn't move to Florida at that time.
And so, life went on and Mike and I had the baby.
Now, during all of this, I was having a high risk pregnancy. The problems I was having started very early on, and I wasn't even sure I wanted to carry this pregnancy full term. Between the problems I was having with the pregnancy, Mike's irresponsible and bullying behavior and Rich and Kelly with that truck, I was under a lot of stress. But Mike said that if I didn't have the baby, he would leave me.
* AND I WILL SAY THIS: MIKE WAS A DOTING AND ADORING MAN WHILE I WAS PREGNANT WITH MICHAEL. HE WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME DURING MY PREGNANCY.
I have a very 'unsupportive family' most of whom I wasn't even speaking with at the time. I tried to tell Mike that if I he and I ever split up, I would have no family to offer this child. He responded by telling me that if my family didn't want me, his did. The part he left out was that his family only wanted me as long as I was paying them to do so.
And so I gave in and had the baby. He was a preemie, born at 32 weeks, 3lbs, 11 oz. Thankfully, he is perfect in every way now. He was a strong kid. They kept him in a LEVEL III NICU for six and a half weeks and the only thing wrong with him was reflux.
My water broke at 30 weeks. I was rushed by ambulance down to South St Pete's Bayfront Hospital (an hour and better drive from home) because they were a 'trauma' hospital and also, right next to All Children's Hospital. I was told that I would be there until 34 weeks or until I delivered, whichever came first. At 34 weeks, they would take the baby no matter what. I started to slip into a very deep depression. So deep I told Mike to ask the dr to get me a shrink. She said I wasn't exhibiting any signs of psychoses. I was there for 9 days when I went into full blown labor and Micheal was born.
I want to note here, because it's going to come up again later, that the morning my son was born, Mike was home and when the woman came in for the baby's birth certificate he was NOT THERE. When she asked me if I was married I said yes, but separated (I was still legally married at the time) and then she informed that I could not put Mike on the birth certificate. She said we could go down the courthouse and change it later, but I could not do it then. [I just found out today that wasn't true either, that until I got divorced, Mike could NOT be added to the birth certificate no mater what] Mike and his RETARDED family continue to insist that I REFUSED to put Mike's name on the birth certificate. According to the IDIOTS 'there's a form I could have filled out IN THE HOSPITAL." Here's the phone number to Pineallas County Birth Certificate Department
St. Petersburg Center
205 Dr. M. L. King Street North
St. Petersburg, Florida 33701
727-507-4330 Ext 1200
And here is the number to JACKSONVILLE to back this up...
904-359-6900 ext 9004
Here's what JACKSONVILLE SAYS...
Statute:
http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&Search_String=&URL=Ch0382/SEC013.HTM&Title=-%3E2006-%3ECh0382-%3ESection%20013#0382.013
We brought him home and started our life as a family. It was a VERY HARD ADJUSTMENT for ME. I was afraid of the baby. I was TERRIFIED of being alone with him.
Mike and I started a new business for him. A hauling company. I bought a truck and two trailers for him, incorporated it, set up adverstising and so on. It was immediately successful.
The problem was that the money being brought in was going into THAT bank account and the bills for the truck, the trailer, the advertising, the insurance, etc... was all being paid out of MY BUSINESS CHECKING ACCOUNT.
Now the real estate market was JUST starting it's downward spiral and I was having a difficult time adjusting to motherhood and I was always the one HOME with the baby while Mike was out on hauling jobs.
The little bit I COULD have salvaged seemed impossible because I couldn't focus on anything and take care of the baby.
And then... Mike's brother was once again, moving to Florida. First Kelly and their daughter came down here on a plane with Mike and Rich's mom Dianne.
I decided that family was family, let bygones be bygones, and let's just all move on with life as a family.
Mike and I were traveling 3 hours each way to a house we had in Charlotte county that we were rehabbing. Dianne and Kelly and the child came down to the house we had down there for a weekend visit. That's when Dianne told me she was going broke supporting Kelly and the child. She was paying $250.00 a week for a rental car for Kelly and buying Kelly's cigarettes and giving her gas money,etc.
Mike and I had an extra car. So I told Kelly they could come stay with us. She could use my car to find a job and go to work until she could buy a car. Rich started calling Mike. Mike started working on me. Mike would tell me that Rich was selling off his tools that he used to make his living and that we HAD to loan him the money for a moving truck to come to Florida. He even suggested that Rich sign the title to his motorcycle over to me as collateral.
But, since their house in CT was in foreclosure, I decided it would be better if they signed the necessary papers for me to short sale their house with the bank, put it up for sale on the open market, and any proceeds after all the liens were paid would be paid to me and I would take the $1500 I paid for that F-250 and the $1400 I was going to pay for the moving truck.
Since I was too involved with the 'family' I asked a colleague of mine to handle the negotiations with Sharon. But, once Rich got to Florida, they never signed the papers. A month before the house went to auction, I reminded Kelly that it needed to be done very soon because the house was going to auction in 30 days. She said she would tell Rich, but they never did show up to sign. And so, a couple of months after that... she had the NERVE to tell me she was mad at me that I didn't save her house.
However, we're a bit ahead of the story again, so let me go back now to when Rich and Kelly came to live with Mike and I, the first time.
And this is when Mike started to change. First off, they were feeding him pills. Second, Mike has something to prove to his brother. I can also tell you firsthand that the rosy picture that Kelly paints of her 'marriage' isn't as 'rosy' as she would like you to believe. Rich talks to her like she's a piece of garbage. He talks to his mother and his daughter the same way.
And so this is how Mike began to talk to me. After Rich and Kelly had moved here, Mike pointed a loaded gun in my face, slapped me across the face and one day dragged me across a room by my hair RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR SON.
But every time it happened, we would make up.
Mike offered Rich a job driving and doing the labor for our hauling company. Kelly was supposed to be learning the real estate business from me, but she really wasn't very 'aggressive' about getting anything done. And they were both in the house too much.
So, Kelly got a job. Rich continued to work for us for a little while but two things happened. The first one was when I got a phone call from one of our biggest accounts, a home builder, complaining about things being removed from job sites that Mike was told were not to be removed. When I told Rich to stop taking stuff he wasn't supposed to take off of these sites, he replied to me 'oh, they don't care about that stuff."
The second incident involved a clean out job that Mike had bid, sight unseen. He sent Rich to do the job. After 8 hours of being 'on the job' Rich called Mike and told him that Mike needed to call the Superintendent and tell him that he needed more money for the job because it looked like they were using THIS HOUSE as a dumping ground for all the houses they were building in the neighborhood.
I told Mike "YOU CANNOT DO THAT! You bid the job sight unseen, it's your responsibility. Finish it, pad the next few bills and make it up that way. DO NOT LOSE OUR CLIENT. " Mike didn't listen to ME, he listened to RICH.
We lost the account.
I had to let my assistant go.
[Direct quote from Mike's ex girlfriend to me- "Mike has always been spineless when it comes to Rich]
And so, we lost the client. Rich went out and got a job at a welding company. And in January of 2007, I told Rich and Kelly that I thought the 6 months they had been living with us was long enough and that it was time for them to get their own place.
And so they moved out. Mike and I were having financial problems. He refused to answer calls for the hauling company because they came in on the same line as my real esate calls and he didn't want to answer those. And if I did answer a hauling call and gave Mike the message, he wouldn't bother to call them back.
He was parking the truck and the trailers on our front lawn, getting ME into trouble with code enforcement. I kept asking him to move them and he kept refusing. He would do nothing but lie on the couch and watch TV all day.
He actually tried to claim, and his own mother did too, that I didn't want him to work because I wanted him to "babysit"
That one drove me off the deep end.
FIRST: YOU DO NOT 'BABYSIT" YOUR OWN CHILD
SECOND: I WANTED HIM TO WORK, BUT WHEN A 3 HOUR JOB TURNS INTO 8 HOURS AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE IS AND HE WONT ANSWER HIS PHONE, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK?
I was getting more and more depressed.
Mike was getting more and more lazy and full of rage.
We were fighting ALL THE TIME... and then.. we got a phone call about a house.
Mike went out to look at it, and made an offer on it that was accepted, I called some other investors, and got a buyer. Mike did the deal and made $20,000. Then he took on the 'work' of rehabbing the house for the guy he sold it to. He needed a painter and asked my uncle for a referral. And he and this guy started rehabbing this house.
In less than a month, $20,000 was gone, Mike was leaving the house to 'work' at 3 in the afternoon, not coming home until 8pm and the whole time, I can't get him on the phone.
I was pretty upset about $20,000 being gone in a month with no explanation as to where it went and I finally asked Mike to get a job. He said he would. He went out 'job-hunting ONE DAY, for a whole THREE HOURS' and came home to tell me he was joining the National Guard!!!!
WHAAAAAAAAAAT?
I was NOT adjusting to motherhood, I was depressed, we had two businesses going to hell in a hand basket, and he wants to leave home for months on end leaving me ALONE WITH THE BABY and the businesses (and he actually had the nerve to say that his brother could run the hauling business when he was away... AS IF...) and to top it all off, this wouldn't give us any kind of money for MONTHS, and it was also a PERFECT EXCUSE for Mike to NOT GET A JOB because he was always going off to the base to meet with the recruiter for this or that....
This was World War III. He demanded that I ACCEPT IT OR HE WAS LEAVING.
I tried to see a positive side to it, but I just didn't see one. We continued to fight about it.
He walked out, leaving me with the baby, $5,000 to my name, behind on the mortgage payments, the truck and trailer payments, and everything else.
When he left I asked him if he needed any money, he said yes. I gave him $50.00.
He kissed me on the cheek and said "I'm sorry, maybe we just need some time apart," and he left.
I called him later that night to make sure he was ok.
And I called him the next day to find out where he was. He was in a RAGE.
On the following day, I called him in the morning and asked him if we could get together to talk that day. He said yes. A few hours later, he showed up at our house with a cop and a U-HAUL... IN FRONT OF OUR SON!!!
And so the BATTTLES BEGAN. I went to his brother's house with the police to pick up the truck. I wasn't about to let him have it.
And we FOUGHT, and FOUGHT and FOUGHT for WEEEKS..... He asked if he could take Michael to see fireworks on the Fourth of July and said I was welcome to go. We went.
It didn't go well and when he dropped the baby and I off at home that night, my son SCREAMED for his father for TWO HOURS. All I could do was cry.
We would fight and then he would get lucid and we would agree to try to get along. He wanted the truck back, said he NEEDED it. I gave it to him.
Once he had it, he DEMANDED that I GIVE HIM EVERY HAULING CALL, and that I would pay the payments on the truck and the trailers, take the calls, schedule the jobs and he would give me 10% for running the office!
I MAKE ALL THE PAYMENTS ON THE VEHICLES I OWN, and HE KEEPS THE MONEY?
oh, AND, he doesn't pay child support.
It's amazing how much this little dirtbag thought I OWED HIM isnt' it?
Meanwhile, I'm once again hearing that I'm nuts, I'm bi-polar, and all the usual crap.
Well, I had to go see a therapist. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. When I went to see her, she said that it's usually the people who are screaming that YOU"RE mentally ill who have the mental illness. She also said that my life had spun out of control and that I needed to take control of my life back. But eventually, she did say that I seemed to be having some 'situational depression' and that I should go and talk to my dr about giving me something to get through it. And so to my doctor I went.
My son was 18 months old and my doctor said it was Postpartum Depression. A pretty severe case, but not psychoses as I didn't want to HURT my child. He put me on medication but it made me climb the walls. I begged Mike to help more with the baby and he refused me.
I begged Mike to come home and try to be a family. To get counseling. But he was just in such a RAGE. Claimed I tried to CONTROL HIM, and was angry at ME, because NOTHING WAS IN HIS NAME. It wasn't MY FAULT that he had lousy credit and nothing COULD BE IN HIS NAME! But these people do not have any concept of 'logic' all they have a concept of is 'me me me'
When Mike first walked out on me, I was getting the crap from the family about being bi-polar and how I tried to control him and so on and so on. But eventually, when Kelly needed money for a $350.00 electric bill, guess who paid it... that's right, I DID.
I was just starting to make a little bit of money on the new Internet business I started so it looked like I was going to be ok financially.
And when my A/C went out in my house in the middle of the summer, Kelly did let me come and stay with her and told Mike that if he didn't like it, too bad.
However, Rich had quit his job, Kelly wasn't working and that's where Mike was living. It looked like they were going to be evicted. Of course, family is family, and so, I stepped up and said, "if you need to stay at my house, you stay at my house"...
And suddenly Mike wants to try making our relationship work again. They all come back to the house together and I start making offers to do services on the web that were pulling A LOT OF ORDERS. But the money was GOOD.
And so, Rich and Kelly and Mike all SWORE that they were going to help carry that workload so I could keep bringing in the money. But then, no one was getting anything done. And no more offers could be run until we finished the previous workload, so no more money was coming in.
And GUESS WHAT ELSE! I WAS PREGNANT AGAIN.
And I even ran ONE offer under MY NAME for KELLY... she got $850.00 for it and left me with the workload.
And suddenly, we were 3 months behind on OUR electric bill. It was going to be $1,297 to turn it on. We transferred the bill to Mike's name for a $730.00 deposit.
This was fine for a month. During which Kelly wrote exactly 10 articles and when I submitted them, the client came back to me IRATE that they had been PLAGARIZED!
And all of a sudden, the electric was being shut off. We called the power company to find out why and at first they told us that they wouldn't allow power to the house as long as the house was in my first husbands and my name because they wouldn't allow us to make a profit as long as we owed them money.
The next time I spoke with them, the story changed and it was now that the technician had gone out and noticed that it was the same people living there and that's why they cut it.
So, the only way to turn it back on was to pay $2,000. We had NO WAY to bring in this kind of money on short notice because we couldn't run offers on the web and no one but Rich had a job.
Now, my husband owned a rental property ONE BLOCK from my house. It was vacant. I said, well, maybe we could use it until we could come up with the $2,000. But, I was NOT going to SQUAT in his house either. And so, I told everyone that we could shower over there, work there during the day, have meals there, and then go home to our house with a generator at night. It was early November, we didn't need heat or air, just enough power to run a fridge, a TV and a couple of lights.
The catch was that their (Rich and Kelly's) kid had school and needed a shower in the mornings. And according to Kelly, it was just too inconvienent for her daughter to do that. I even tried to explain to her that we live in FLORIDA, this is exactly what could happen if we had a HURRICANE! But she would just repeat, "I can't do that to her"...
FOR 5 DAYS, she was ADAMANT. Her plan was for her and her daughter to go up to Ocala with Mike and Rich's mom and for Rich to stay at my house with no electric. Mike and I could stay home, go to his mothers, or go to the other house.
So, I came up with an ALTERNATE plan. I told Kelly that we would run an offer on the web under HER name and if we made $2,000 we would pay the electric bill, but if we only made $1,000 we would pay my first husband $800.00 to rent the house. Rich and Kelly and their daughter could bring a bed, a TV and a couch over there and THEY could sleep there, and Mike and I would go home at night to take care of the animals, because I was not going to put a dog in my husbands NEWLY REHABBED house!
When Rich came home that night, he told ME, very sternly, that HE hadn't made a decision yet and that he and Kelly needed to 'talk about it, tonight and probably tomorrow before I make ANY decision'..... and so another HOLY WAR began.
I was FURIOUS with Mike for not putting his foot down with his brother. If you want a roof over your head, you have to pay for it. They had lived with us TWICE paying NO RENT or Mortgage, and NO BILLS. But when we needed them to chip in for US, they had to 'talk about it,' while my son went without electric until they did?
And what the Hell was there to talk about anyway? You want a roof over your head, you pay rent or a mortgage, right? AND…. Why just HIM AND KELLY had to talk? We were all living in the same house, what was with the secretiveness?
I WAS LIVID.
The next morning, when I got up, they were all sitting around watching TV. This pissed me off even more. If they needed to 'talk' why were they watching TV? I hadn't had a shower in 5 days and I was about to go over to the other house to take one. I called Mike outside and told him that before his brother left for work, Mike had better let him know that him staying in MY HOUSE with no electric for NOTHING while his wife and kid went away was not going to happen. If they weren't going to chip in on the rent in the other house, Rich was NOT going to stay in mine for FREE.
Mike refused to acknowledge anything I was saying. He just kept saying, 'go take a shower, go take a shower, go take a shower,"
Suffice it to say, I refused to leave the house. I was going to settle this once and for all. But as I went in, Rich went out to leave for work. And now the SCREAMING between Mike and I started.
And on this went for about an hour when Rich came home from work and told us that they were just going to leave to go up to Ocala. I wasn't going to argue, but then Mike started screaming at me that I made his brother feel uncomfortable in HIS house...
I retorted, well you and your family make me feel USED in my OWN HOUSE.
And so, for the rest of the day, Mike told me he was leaving me. Called me VICIOUS NAMES, would say things to our son like "I love you buddy even if I'm not your Daddy" and "You're mother is a useless shitbag whore"..... ALL DAY LONG THIS WENT ON...
"I'm leaving you"
"I'm not going to leave you to raise our son alone"
"I'm leaving you"
And peppering the intervals with the things he was telling our child.
He also had hit me in the face with a straw cowboy hat and tried to kick me in the stomach.
Finally, at the end of the day, I had had enough. I told him that if he was going to leave me then go ahead and leave and not to USE me for a place to stay for another night until Mommy could come and get him the next day. He said "you're right" and he packed his things and left. I had told him NOT to touch that truck, that if he was leaving me with NOTHING, he was taking NOTHING.
He walked out of the house and at 11:00 PM that night, the truck was still at the rental house with Mike's cell phone in it. At 7:00AM the next morning, the truck was gone, but somehow Mike mysteriously had his cell phone that afternoon.
Rich and Kelly still stayed at the house overnight though and were all nice and sweet as could be to me. The next day, I had a baby shower to go to and I had to leave them to finish packing. That was a dumb idea. I should have sent them packing when Mike walked out.
All day he was screaming at me and at our son about how he was leaving and when I finally told him to go, he now claims that I 'THREW HIM OUT!" And of course, the idiot named Kelly will say things like "get out get out, where did you go? come back, I need you..."
But, back to the story. So on Monday, I call him and tell him, 'If you have the truck tell me, because if you don't I HAVE to report it stolen." He insists he doesn't have it. Months later, it will be repoe'd and the police will call to tell me that Mike is the one who told the repo guy EXACTLY WHERE IT IS. And months after that, Mike's mother will say that I tried to have Mike arrested on a trumped up charge....
Now let me see... Mike says he doesn't have truck.... Mike tells POLICE he doesn't have truck... I don't have truck so must be stolen, right? Mike turns truck into repo guy, proving HE KNOWS WHERE IT IS... So how am I trying to have Mike arrested on a 'trumped up charge?"
Want to know the answer I got when I posted this question to Dianne?
"You have to pay people to love your son"
WTF does that have to do with the alleged 'trumped up charge, oh wait, that's right, you don't have an answer, so let's move on to another 'accusation'.
Ok, so while I'm making the police report, suddenly the code enforcement problems from the spring have come back to haunt me. That was when Mike wouldn't move the truck and the trailers off the front lawn. Well apparently I was supposed to go to court for that, but didn't show up and so a bench warrant was issued and I was ARRESTED. I called Mike and asked him to bail me out and he refused.
Remember over the summer when he left me the first time... I gave him money, I gave him the truck, I gave him the hauling jobs.... he was the father of my child, if he needed ANYTHING , I GAVE IT.
But here I am, the MOTHER OF HIS CHILD,PREGNANT WITH HIS SECOND CHILD, FLAT BROKE, PRACTICALLY HOMELESS SINCE MY HOUSE HAS NO ELECTRIC, BEING ARRESTED FOR SOMETHING HE DID, AND HE WILL DO NOTHING TO HELP!
So, they arrest me and I get bailed out. A few days later, I call Mike and tell him that if his mother wont' take the baby and I in, we are going to have to go to a shelter. He calls me a 'piece of shit' and tells me that he will take Michael.
But I can go to a shelter?
AND WHILE PREGNANT WITH HIS SECOND CHILD?
I just cannot believe I had this man's CHILD!
And so we continue to fight and argue for weeks and weeks....
It's November and Mike is leaving for boot camp in February, he's not going to get a job now because he'll have to leave it in four months anyway.
Doesn't matter to him at all that his kid and PREGNANT mother of his second child are homeless and broke and she can barely feed the child she has let alone herself and UNBORN child.... that's just tough shit as far as Mike is concerned. (Or should I say as far as Mike's family is concerned, since THEY pull his puppet strings)
And so Mike left us that way.
I had to move into the one rental property I had left. My grandmother turned on the electric for me, BUT, the hot water heater was broken and so was the heat. In late December, we had a cold front coming in so I asked Mike to take Michael with him for a few days until the cold front passed. He came and got him and he actually gave me $50.00 that night. A couple of days later, when I went to see my son (it was still to cold for me to pick Michael up) Mike gave me another $70.00 and the pictures he had taken of Michael with Santa Claus.
Of course, Mike and I got into an arguement in front of his mother's house and I said I was going to take Michael home. But in the end, I knew I couldn't take Michael back to that house so I let Mike keep him. All the while, Rich and Kelly's kid is in the house taking video of me giving the baby to Mike.
I leave to go home without my son. A few days later Mike brought him home and he was supposed to look at my heat and my hot water heater. I told him that day that if he couldn't fix the heat, that it would still be too cold for me to keep Michael there and that he would have to keep him. When Mike showed up, he had no tools, he looked and couldn't fix anything. So I told him to go ahead and take Michael back home with him. He got enraged with me and called me a 'piece of shit.' We put Micheal back in the car and as I was standing next to my son's car seat saying goodbye to him, Mike was SCREAMING at me to get out of the way and he then put the car in drive and ran over both my feet..
I SCREAMED but he just stared at me with a blank look on his face. He finally moved the car OFF my feet and put it in park. I was CRYING. He got out of the car and called ME a 'piece of shit' again. He then came around to my side of the car to look at my feet. I BEGGED him to call 911. He refused.
Instead he drove me to the ER. He had illegal prescription pills in the car that he was muling for his brother, the car was uninsured, and it is fraudulently registered (Dianne's liscense is suspended from either Connecticut or Massachussettes for something called excise tax, so Rich, having the same name as his father, posed as his dead father to register the car for Dianne)
ER said nothing was broken and they sent me home with a prescription for tylenol with codeine. In the car Mike said that if I could have codeine, he would give me four of the Vicodin that he had on him.
Mike took Michael and went back up to his mother's in Ocala. That weekend, I went up there to visit my son and asked Mike if I could go in to use the bathroom. I went in and was getting ready to leave when he told me to go wait in the car. I told him that I was done being treated like that in front of our son and that I was taking the baby home with me. Mike tried to get between me and the door, and I heard Rich yell from the other room the he called his Mommy on her cell phone and that the police were on their way. Mike moved and I walked out the door and left.
Next, Mike asked me if he could have Michael Christmas Eve Day. We agreed that Mike would have to pick Michael up by 7 am as I had to be at work by 8 and I would drive up to Ocala right after work to pick Michael up and bring him home. I told Mike that when he picked Michael up, I wanted all the things he wouldn't let me get last time I was up there.
When Mike showed up that morning, his brother was driving and Mike didn't have any of the baby's stuff. I told Mike that I was uncomfortable letting the baby go with him after he didn't bring his stuff and with the druggie brother driving.
So Mike stole the baby's car seat out of my car and took off.
In January, Michael and I finally were able to move into a teeny tiny 1 bedroom apartment. I didn't have the $120.00 for the deposit for the water and my mother refused to give it to me unless I agreed to have an abortion (I was 5 months pregnant and I refused). I asked Mike for the money, he said he didn't have it. I told him what my mother said, and he told me 'do what you have to do to keep your apartment"
I did some freelance work for a friend to come up with it.
In early January, Michael got very sick, he was vomiting uncontrollably. I took him to All Childrens', called his father, and his father wouldn't come. The next day, I got the bug... I wasnt able to take care of Michael. I was vomiting unctrollably. Mike came and picked the baby up. This was a particularly nasty flu and it took me a few days to get over it.
During this time, every single phone conversation I had with Mike, he would SCREAM at me, CURSE at me and CALL ME NAMES, IN FRONT OF OUR CHILD. At one point he told me I was a "FAT SLOPPY C**T" and in the background (AND IN FRONT OF OUR SON) I heard that IDIOT Rich SINGING "FAT SLOPPY C**T, FAT SLOPPY C**T, FAT SLOPPY C**T, like a 5 year old child would do.)
That was IT. When Mike brought the baby home, I told him I was not letting him see Michael ANYMORE until he got help for his RAGE problems and got away from his low-life drug addict brother.
Mike called on Michael's birthday to talk to him and Michael was asleep, so I told him to call back around 9-9:30 that evening. He refused on the grounds that he was 'going to be 'somewhere' where there was no phone at that time) and so he did not call his son back.
Finally, the day Mike was supposed to leave for boot camp, I called and asked him if he would like to see Michael before he left. AT HOME in MY COUNTY and SUPERVISED BY ME WITHOUT MIKE"S FAMILY AROUND. He said he would call me back at 2:30 pm.
He called and said he couldn't use his Mommy's car. I offered to spend my last $15.00 for gas to bring the baby up to say goodbye but I told Mike, I am not going to drive all the way up there only to be told that I am not welcome in the house. My son is not going to see his mother treated that way. Mike started a fight with me, SCREAMING at me and told me not to come or he would call the police. He hung up the phone and then would not answer it all night.
And so he did not say goodbye to his son. He actually had the NERVE to tell me, "it's bad enough that I'm not going to see him for four months."
A. He wasn't DRAFTED into the ARMY, HE MADE A CHOICE TO LEAVE HIS SON
B. He didn't care that his son was flopped from house to house for two months until we finally got into the apartment.
c. Every time the subject of 'child support' comes up, he wants a paternity test. For the son he said he would LEAVE ME OVER IF I DIDN"T HAVE.... (am I the only one who is confused by this?)
And so, the following weekend I called Dianne to ask her if she wanted to see the baby, now that Rich and Kelly had finally moved out of her house and gotten their own place (though they say Mike has a new girlfriend so it's possible that they're living in HER house mooching off of her as they did to me). She said yes, and I brought the baby up there for the weekend.
She told me that Mike said he would start paying child support as soon as he got to bootcamp and started getting a paycheck. I left Michael with her and went home for the weekend. On Sunday morning I called to check up on Michael. While I was on the phone with Dianne, I suddenly get an email from Rich. It says "Thank God Michael found a new girlfriend, she supports his military career.. blah blah blah"...I'm now DISTRAUGHT and Dianne tells me 'that's just Rich, he's an idiot. Mike doesn't have a new girlfriend that I know about"
So I go get Michael....
Now, meanwhile, I still have all those OLD orders from the Internet that I was unable to fulfill and clients pissed off at me. All of that income came from ONE FORUM on the Internet and it was the forum that I introduced Kelly to. I was banned from the forum because of my inability to fulfill those orders or make refunds. So I start writing under a pen name and selling through a partner since it's the only way I was going to be able to earn an income. No one was going to hire me at 6 months pregnant and Mike was not sending any help at all.
Well, Rich and Kelly started 'spying' and when they dug deep enough, they discovered the pen name and reported it to the forum my partner and I were selling on and got him banned from the forum too.
Rich posed as "garydemko" pretending to be someone who wanted to buy my books even though the offer was locked on the forum because my partner was banned. I told 'garydemko' the truth about who I was. The next night, I got a message from 'garydemko' stating that he had just forwarded our exchange to the moderators of the forum and that I was now being investigated by the FBI-IC3. He said he was an ‘investigator' working for the people on the forum.
At first, I didn't realize WHO it was. I thought it was a pissed off client. Until a few weeks later, when I arrived home one night to find a message from 'garydemko' that said 'your victims and friends are reporting your activity.'
Well, this was strange. I had JUST gotten a second email from Rich, telling me that Mike had finally called and that he wanted to make sure that 'family and friends' got his mailing address but that he did not want me to have it.
Victims and friends/ family and friends...???
Well, I had replied to Rich's email "Did Mike tell you to contact me just to tell me that he didn't want me to contact him, or are you just trying to cause more pain to me and my kids than you already have?"
He replied that Mike did not ask him to contact me, that he thought I should know. Then he proceeded to stick the knife in deeper and give me details about Mike's sex life with his new girlfriend.
I replied and told him not to email me again.
And so, when 'garydemko' sent that message, I knew it was Rich. Finally, Rich, as 'garydemko' started putting out yahoo status messages with things like
"lead tastes ok"
"Vanessa, you entire IM world will come crumbling"
'have you figured it out yet?"
I was getting pretty fed up.
I started calling the Army to find out where the hell Mike was. I got his mailing address and wrote him a letter.
The day I got his address, I put up a yahoo status message that said "I hate when people underestimate me and the depths of my resources."
Suddenly, Dianne's claws are out now. She puts out a status message that says "I'm so glad Mike's new friend got the pictures and her 'special' invitation to his graduation."
So, the bitch had been lying to me about Mike having a girlfriend. And so the 'status message war' started.
Threats, harassment, etc.
On and on this went. I wrote Mike two or three letters before I got ONE back from him. I told him in the first letter that I hoped that he did truly join the military to be a better man and that he learned the HONOR of being a family man and wanted to come home to his family. And that if not, then I would file for child support at the end of March.
When he wrote back, he told me that he wanted to be a part of the kids lives, but he didn't think we were compatible anymore and that I should move on from him. That he changed from being there, changes he knows I would like, and that he's moved on from me.
He then asked me not to do anything 'stupid' until he could get to Virginia to talk to me. (Filing for child support and custody of the kids he abandoned is STUPID?) and he told me how hard it was on him being all alone in a crowded room.
HARD ON HIM? I'M PREGNANT, BROKE, TAKING CARE OF HIS CHILD PREPARING FOR ANOTHER ONE AND I'M SUPPOSED TO LISTEN TO HIM WHINE ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS FOR HIM?????????????
BALLS!!!
And so I did not write to him again.
On March 21, 2008, 'garydemko' sent me an offline message through yahoo messnenger... that night, all of his status messages were 'lead tastes ok' 'Vanessa your activity is being reported,"etc, etc etc. At 1:00 am, my phone started ringing and it was an ID restricted number. Hang ups and Kelly and her kid's giggle very clear in the background.
Called 911. Nothing they could do.
Didnt' bother to tell Mike about any of it.
And so, when I knew Mike would be in Virginia, I called up that base and asked to speak with him. He got on the phone and I told him that there might be a problem with the new baby.
He said that he would go see his sergeant the next day and see about getting medical coverage for the new baby and that he would call me back that night.
When he didnt, I called him again.
Now he was IRATE. Told me he's not going to do anything for any of us without a paternity test.
Around in the circle we went.
That very day, a friend of mine was giving me Mike's entire chain of command in the military, from First Sergeant all the way up to Inspector General.
So, the next day, after I could no longer deal with the 'paternity test' remarks, I started calling Mike's superiors. His First Sergeant told me that without Mike's name on the birth certificate and no paternity test, his hands were tied, LEGALLY, but he would talk to Mike 'man-to-man' which might have worked if Mike were indeed a MAN, but as you can see by his actions, is not the case.
However, when First Sergeant did not call me back when he was supposed to, I went up to Command Sergeant Major. HE told me that he was going to talk to Mike and tell him that if he's the father to pony up and pay support because if he goes for a paternity test and it PROVES he is the father, then he would charge Mike with an Article 15 (conduct unbecoming) for LYING TO HIS SUPERIORS. I thought, FINALLY.
That night, Mike called and told me that he would give me anything I wanted to just stop calling his superiors. He asked what I wanted and I said, "7 months of back child support, minimum of $500.00 per month for one child in Florida. You do the math"
He was once again, in a RAGE.. "YOU'RE NOT GETTING THAT MUCH MONEY OUT OF ME"..... He then told me that he would send me $400.00 a month, $200.00 per pay period and that it was almost HALF his pay.
Command Sgt Mjr told me that if he listed Micheal as his dependent, then I would get an allottment of $941.00 per month regardless of whether we had 1 child or 10.
But Mike says he can't do that without his name on Michael's birth certificate and that by the time we got it done and set up the allotment, it would take 2 months and he would already be out of Virgina and in Georgia for jump school.
And then he would be HOME in Florida, doing one weekend a month. So all I would get would be the $300.00 a month from the National Guard. After all, his brother taught him well on how to be a deadbeat dad. Mike will work off the books or change jobs every three months so that I can't ever gonoshier a paycheck.
And so, I'm back to square one. The only other thing I can do...
See, because I was married when the baby was born, the state considers my husband the 'legal father.' And they will NOT pursue Mike as the biological father until I have either a divorce decree signed by a judge excluding the child from the marriage OR my husband submits to a paternity test proving that he's NOT the father.
According to the woman I spoke with in Jacksonville about this today, they do get orders all the time to pursue biological fathers even if the woman is married, but nonetheless, my caseworker probably doesn't know the 'loophole' to use and so I had to give my husband EVERYTHING HE WANTED just to get the divorce OVER WITH.
But I do have another option. You see, even if I got my divorce tomorrow, and served Mike TOMORROW with a suit to establish paternity, as long as he's ACTIVE DUTY (and training is considered ACTIVE DUTY) he's protected from a paternity case under the Sailors and Soldiers Civil Relief Act. So I would STILL have to wait for him to come home to serve him.
BUT... I can file to terminate his parental rights. If I were to give up the new baby for adoption, the adoption agency would file to terminate his rights and a judge would grant it because Mike did not support me emotionally or financially throughout the pregnancy. Hell, he tried to run me over with a CAR!
So now, if he wants ANY RIGHTS as a FATHER, it's up to him to WANT TO PROVE HE IS THE FATHER. He cannot hide behind that ACT.
Suddenly, Mike has become more lucid.
This has been going on for about two weeks now, and during the time, his mother is calling me a 'blackmailer'....
And I guess like Rich, Mike believed that his son only needed food and shelter when Mike GOT AROUND TO PROVIDING IT 8 MONTHS LATER.
oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that FORCING a deadbeat to pay support is BLACKMAIL
and should I HAVE TO RESORT TO BLACKMAIL TO GET HIM TO SUPPORT HIS KIDS?
She says that Michael is a 'yo-yo' because I won't let Mike see him if Mike can't learn not to treat me with respect in front him and keep him away from Rich and Kelly.
She sets outmessages that say "is it even Mike's kid?"
Rich (garydemko) and Kelly set their messages to say things like 'bipoler' (Rich can't spell) and other blatanly harassing and disparaging comments.
And then On Saturday May 3, 2008, Rich called my cell phone at 4:00 AM, SLURRING, "I want to know how my nephew is doing, IF he's my nephew, IS he MY nephew? Is he Mike's kid?"
I called 911, they recorded the call and sent out a deputy who told me to change my phone number, email address, yahoo ID and such.
He also told me that making threats over the Internet isn't a crime and that that's what the Internet was invented for.
Phone harasssment is a CRIME in the state of Florida. Yet, the officer didn't seem to want to be bothered with it and called it 'juvenile'. NO SHIT SHERLOCK. He should be a detective huh?
So the next day, I called the Sherriff's department again and started raising HOLY HELL. An officer came back out, took a real report, gave me a case number and said that he would refer it to the State Attorney, but that they probably wouldn't prosecute because it's only a misdemeanor and he's in another county so they wont want to be bothered with it.
And he advised me to file a Domestic Violence Injunction against Rich too.
I called Mike and told him what was going on, and he said he would tell them to stop. He said he told them to stop, yet, they didn't. That's how little respect they have for Mike and that's what Mike has forsaken his children for.
During one conversation I had with Mike, he told me that he left because I didn't even try to lose weight after Michael was born, and that he didn't care if I was heavy, but I got "sloppy" and I went NUTS. I'm sooo sorry that I had postpartum depression. But let's take a look at the circumstances... it's a wonder I wasn't in an institution with the crap I put up with from this family.
I didn't think that getting 'sloppy' or getting 'postpartum depression' was a viable reason to stop loving someone. Hell, I didn't stop loving Mike when he lost all his TEETH and I had to pay $1,000 for dentures for him.
Nonetheless, spineless Mike has forsaken his CHILDREN for his DEADBEAT DAD brother and so has become a DEADBEAT DAD himself.
Yesterday, a Sherriff's deputy showed up at my door telling me that Rich claimed that I sent him an email saying that I was going to hire a hitman to put a contract out on him. I said, "would you like to see the threats this guy sends ME?" He said sure. He came in and I pulled up all the screen shots of the threatening messages, all the harassing emails, etc.
He said he read the report and that I'm definitely being harassed by this guy, but he doesn't know if they're going to be able to do anything about it.
I also told him that if making a threat over the Internet is a crime, to please let me know the statute because Barney Fife from Saturday morning said Rich had committed no crime.
And so the deputy left.
Now, up to the minute...
Today is Tuesday, May 6, 2008. I had a dr appt yesterday. When I left there, they called me on the phone to tell me that my ultrasound showed 'placenta previa' meaning that the placenta is blocking the vaginal wall and that it would make a vaginal birth impossible and I would have to have a C-section. They sent me to the hospital IMMEDIATELY for another ultrasound.
I called Mike from the hospital and told him. He first told me to call his mother. I refused. First of all, she doesn't have a driver's liscense. Second of all, I don't want Michael up there with HER whil I have a C-section and a new baby to care for, third of all, I don't want Michael up there with the drug addicts, and finally, if I have to have a C-section and ANYTHING goes wrong, these are HIS KIDS and HE SHOULD BE THERE.
So he gave me all the information I would need to give to the Red Cross in case of an Emergency and told me to call him back.
The hospital did it, sent me home and told me the doctor would call me.
I called the doctor today and they said I dont' have placent previa. I haven't had a chance to call Mike yet and tell him, because I have been writing this all day with a God awful toothache and taking care of Michael. A friend of mine just took Michael to the playground, so I'm going to call him now, but Rich (garydemko's) status message says "when you cry wolf and it doesnt' work, what's next?"
I'm about to call Mike now.
Sharon, just like you, all I wanted was support for my kids. If I had had 10 or 20 thousand dollars in the bank, I wouldn't have cared one damn bit about the child support. But Mike left us when we were DESTITUTE and I NEEDED his help WITH HIS CHILD that HE INSISTED WE HAD TO HAVE. (Yet told me to abort the second one)
And he and his family say "Why are you having this one? Because you thought it would get him to come back? Didn't work, did it?"
And here is my reply: "I truly LOVE Mike with all my heart. He is the father of my children and he was a good man until his brother came to Florida. I was hoping that the military would give him enough time away from Rich to learn some HONOR and INDEPENDENT THOUGHT, and that he eventually he would WANT to do the right thing and HONOR the family that he started and if I aborted his child, he would never forgive me for it as he said with Michael. And so I kept our baby hoping that I would be able to make our family WHOLE again... but I guess the lack of HONOR, RESPONSIBILITY AND ACCOUNTABILITY that Dianne raised her kids with is just too deep to replenish, even by the US ARMY.
I'm sure the circular logic is going to begin with: "You threw him out" and I will reply with "oh, I should have just sat there and let him TELL me over and over again that he was leaving me, telling our son I was a piece of shit, and on and on until he got over it?"
And then it will turn to me being bipolar, and then to me being fat, and on and on it will go.... but every time I make a valid point, the subject just changes to something else...
Sharon, you truly have my sympathy. There is something seriously WRONG with these people. Maybe it's possible that the whole family tree traces back to the same brother and sister.
Oh oh oh ... wait... before I forget.. because I am SURE that Kelly or Rich is going to mention it.... I tried to get a paypal account in my son's name. There is no law against a child having a bank account or a paypal account, but it's against paypal policies so I wasn't able to get him one. Now before anyone goes all up in arms, mine was frozen during the forum fiasco so I had no other way to collect funds for my writing for the web unless I let someone else take paypal payments and that could hurt someone else's tax bracket.
That's one of the ways they claim I 'used my child as a meal ticket'. Just so it's upfront, anyone who wants to fillet me for it, feel free, but the fact is NO ONE was going to hire a woman who was 6 months pregnant, Mike refused to help financially and I had a child to feed, house and clothe. I even had to bounce a couple of checks to feed and clothe my son, which Rich and Kelly and Dianne and possibly even Mike will say I did to buy 'drugs'..." but I'm not the one with six different prescriptions at ONE PHARMACY from TWO DIFFERENT DOCTORS. And so, yes, I tried to put a paypal account in Michael's name so I could get paid for work over the web to keep him housed and fed.
Rich and Kelly and Dianne like to use that against me, and I put this question to them...
After all the money I loaned you, you robbed me of, and that I spent SUPPORTING you, when it came time to support Michael and a new unborn baby, where the Hell were any of you stepping up to help?
NOWHERE. You were not only NOT HELPING, YOU WERE ENCOURAGING MIKE NOT TO HELP, AND INTERFERING WITH MY ABILITY TO MAKE A LIVING TO BOOT...
(kinda similiar to the way you tried to get Sharon fired)
Jeez, not only do you people not want to support the kids, you want to take away the mother's abilitiy to do so to?
Yet Sharon and I both happen to be bi-polar and fat and drunks (ok, well they never called ME a drunk, but you get the point here) and druggies.
Rich is an alchoholic (so was his father and his his mother)
Rich and Kelly both eat pills
Mike eats pills and has an addictive personality for certain types of drugs, but he's not an alchoholic
Dont' you find it odd that both of these guys had kids with women who they claim are bi-polar, crazy, druggies and such? Especially AFTER the women start fighting for child support?
#286 Consumer Comment
AUTHOR: Candellife - Cocoa (U.S.A.)
SUBMITTED: Sunday, May 25, 2008
POSTED: Sunday, May 25, 2008
It took awhile, and I didn't read every word but did read more than I expected to. I kept wondering why it was at the top of the list for the dead beat dad section if it was from 2006, and now I see why. The new posting from this month 2008, the saga continues.
What comes around, goes around and I wouldn't be surprised in the least to google search this 2 years from now and see someone new affected who searched and found this and had new problems arise.
I just posted my own new one because I am searching for information on my son's dad and this caught my attention because she has my same name "Sharon"...I just hope mine only turns into a search for information and finding it without all the family fighting coming into the mix.
Sharon, my heart goes out to you. How are the kids?
