Vincent Satmary Father who does not help financially with son Greenacres, Florida

I am a divorced man and the parent of a 11 year old boy.  So I can certainly understand your frustration.  My ex-wife and I have been battling back and forth for well over 2 years now.  We even have this back and forth battle on this website.  She says all kinds of things about me that aren't true, not even in the least.  I'm tempted to give you the name and have you see everything that has gone on back and forth with me and her so you can see how common these issues exist.

My point being, I did the same thing that you did.  I found this website as a way to relieve some stress and I let it rip.  I complained about all the dirty things the courts did to me, the lies and things my ex-wife said and did.  I don't quite understand your whole situation.  It does sound like there is a little more going on than what we are hearing.  I didn't quite understand why you sent a 13 year old boy that really didn't even know his father to go LIVE with his father.  That seems a little odd to me but, as I said, I might be missing something.  As far as your son's father's finances.  It is true, things are tough out there. 

He may very well be having a difficult time making ends meet.  I have a major problem with the courts in the sense that, they don't help the situation, they make it worse.  You have the fathers out there that don't give a dam about being a father and they just don't care. And, in those situations, the courts need to involved and probably even more so. But you also have the ones that do care and they want to be there and watch their child grow.  My ex-wife has made my life so difficult that even when I do have my son, I have to work a second job and hardly get to see him when he is with me.  I use to be upset about the child support since I had him in my care so much and she has made more money than me for the past two years now but now, I would pay double what I currently pay just to be able to see him more often.  She actually made a comment on ROR that I was cheap.  I will tell you that she never lived on her own until we got married when she was 37.   I helped to support not only my son but her daughter from a prior relationship that is 5 years older than my son.  I paid 2/3's of the bills plus she would constantly just spend money and when she spent too much, I had to go to my parents and ask for a loan.  And all just because she had to have everything new and be able to make people think she was something she wasn't.  But I'm supposedly cheap.  Hmmmmm.

Having children is expensive, there is no argument about that.  But when the courts mandate this 'x' amount of money that the father has to pay, it makes a man feel like he has this major bill each and every month.  Subconsciously, the child feels like a debt or extra house payment as opposed to their child.  It makes a man feel very bitter.  I love my son but that weekly garnishment just pisses me off something terrible.   As opposed to a mother that pays $10 here and $50 there.  In other words, it's like a slow bleeding instead what most of us fathers feel like.

I'm not stupid.  I know if I was still married and was living with my son, then I would be paying all of what I'm paying now to support him but it wouldn't feel like it does now.  So I commend you for having written off all of that child support.  It sounds like a commendable thing for you to have done but I can't help but to wonder WHY?  My ex-wife wrote off about $13,000 on me but there is something to that story.  $5,000 of that was charged to me for her having convinced the courts that I PERJURED myself in court when I didn't.  And she played a trick and told them that she had served me, even though I wasn't so I didn't know about the court date to show up and defend myself.  Plus, about another $6,000 of that was for support that I owed while our divorce was in process.  Well, while the divorce was pending, she had me forced to leave our home while she lived in the house and paid nothing, as she was supposed to by order of the court.  So when she gave me the house back, I was so far behind on the mortgage that I basically just lost the house.

I'm only saying this to say that there are always two sides.  I'm probably on your side for the simple fact that you wrote this report first which would indicate to me that you really feel as if you got burned.  Plus, I don't understand how a man could leave his son for such a long period of time, for what sounds like he's moved out of state.

Now my current wife, her ex-husband has treated her like crap.  She is never rude to him and he constantly tells her kids that she is a crack head and that I"m a loser, etc. etc. etc.   He is self-employed and told her that if she filed with the FOC that she would never see a dime.  So when she married me, even though he had a live in girlfriend, he decided that I should be paying for his kids and all of a sudden it's like pulling teeth to get money out of this guy.  This past week he even admitted to his teenage son that he doesn't want to pay her because of ME.  Now what do I have to do with him taking care of his kids? 

Good luck to you, seriously.  I didn't mean to get so wordy but I just thought you hearing how different sides look at things.  I didn't understand with you because you didn't say, whether or not your son's father was with his son at all besides the last two years.  I mean did you get divorced when your son was 5 or 6.  Was this man your husband or boyfriend?  It sounds like this was a boyfriend or possibly a one-night stand(no offense) but then you just sent him to see him when he was 13 years old????????  I know I'm missing something in this story.

 Thank you Blackjack for your information. A couple of things, 1st, my son went to live with his dad because I was having some problems with my son (getting into trouble, not listening etc. just was very diffcult for me and my son, he just refused to learn anykind of responsibilty for anything), figured maybe it was because he did not know his dad and/or because I was a single parent for so long and figured it was going to be a good thing for him, and no, not a 1 night stand, and no, never married and yes the father did move out of state, I guess my son was maybe 1 year when he moved? There was not much contact with the father except maybe a handful of times. I am not out to "get" him, not looking to leave him bone dry ya know, just want some kind of help. The only communication my son has with his father now is through Facebook, which blows my mind he doesn't even call to talk to him at all, I think maybe once or twice when my son 1st moved back with me. But I do feel if someone refuses to do something especially in the care of a child, especially if you had a signed agreement and a responsibility to take care of your children, they should do it. I am tired of waiting, he will not help. I was a single mom for almost 13 years  it was tough and just because I am marrried now (got married 4 years ago and not to the father)doesn't make it any easier. Funny thing is, we were fine until I asked him for some money to help out, now we don't get along at all just because I need the help. Anyway I will hope for the best. Take care and thank you :)

HE IS IN EAST TAMPA HIDING NEAR A VAN DAM TRAILER PARK IN A SMALL MOTOR HOME AND HAS CLAIMED BACK AN EX GIRLFRIEND  THAT IS  NAIVE AND PROBABLY HIS NEXT VICTIM HE TOOK
BACK AND  SHE HAS A CHILD BUT NOT FROM HIM .HE IS BEEN WITH HER SINCE
10/2010 AND SHE DOES NOT HAVE A CLUE OF THE PIECE OF GARBAGE SHE TOOK
BACK INTO HER LIFE AFTER AFTER 7 YEARS WHEN THEY WERE TOGETHER THEN . SHE LIVES WITH RELATIVES OFF OF
MARTIN LUTHER KING AND WILLIAMS RD   AND I-75 ON MAGNOLIA LN. IF HE
STILL OWES YOU YOU CHILD SUPPORT AND  SKIPPED OUT ON YOU . WELL YOU JUST
GOT LUCKY . AND HAVE HIS ASS ARRESTED. REGARDS  PATRICIA .C

HE IS IN EAST TAMPA HIDING NEAR A VAN DAM TRAILER PARK IN A SMALL MOTOR HOME AND HAS CLAIMED BACK AN EX GIRLFRIEND  THAT IS  NAIVE AND PROBABLY HIS NEXT VICTIM HE TOOK
BACK AND  SHE HAS A CHILD BUT NOT FROM HIM .HE IS BEEN WITH HER SINCE
10/2010 AND SHE DOES NOT HAVE A CLUE OF THE PIECE OF GARBAGE SHE TOOK
BACK INTO HER LIFE AFTER AFTER 7 YEARS WHEN THEY WERE TOGETHER THEN . SHE LIVES WITH RELATIVES OFF OF
MARTIN LUTHER KING AND WILLIAMS RD   AND I-75 ON MAGNOLIA LN. IF HE
STILL OWES YOU YOU CHILD SUPPORT AND  SKIPPED OUT ON YOU . WELL YOU JUST
GOT LUCKY . AND HAVE HIS ASS ARRESTED. REGARDS  PATRICIA .C