• Report: #3682

Complaint Review: Court System & Dead Beat Dads

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  • Submitted: Thu, October 26, 2000
  • Updated: Fri, January 18, 2008

  • Reported By:Tempe Arizona
Court System & Dead Beat Dads
Nationwide U.S.A.

Dead Beat Dads ..The REAL rip-off is the court. *REBUTTAL I am a 17 year old girl, father runs an hides

*Consumer Comment: Men, and Women are not equal like our constitution says we are.

*Consumer Comment: I really am beginning to hate the term "Deadbeat Dads".

*Consumer Comment: In response to Mike from Wentzville - just floored when I read your comment

*Consumer Comment: This whole issue on Dead-beat dads

*Consumer Comment: This whole issue on Dead-beat dads

*Consumer Comment: This whole issue on Dead-beat dads

*Consumer Comment: This whole issue on Dead-beat dads

*Consumer Comment: Constructive? My children are due 32% of their fathers income.

*Consumer Comment: Joint custody was out of the question

*Consumer Comment: To Denise

*Consumer Comment: "Greedy Broads"? ..makes me want to puke to see grown men whining about having to pay support

*Consumer Comment: My Response

*REBUTTAL Owner of company: the courts are the problem!!!!!!!!!!!!1

*Consumer Comment: Thanks Tammy

*Consumer Comment: Thanks Tammy

*Consumer Comment: Thanks Tammy

*Consumer Comment: Thanks Tammy

*Consumer Comment: For Lost in Florida

*Consumer Comment: HERE'S MY STORY...YOU JUDGE...

*Consumer Comment: I have had enough

*Consumer Suggestion: Bad choices

*Consumer Suggestion: Bad choices

*Consumer Suggestion: Bad choices

*Consumer Comment: It goes both ways....

*Consumer Comment: It goes both ways....

*Consumer Comment: It goes both ways....

*Consumer Comment: It goes both ways....

*Consumer Comment: MEN- THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE.......

*Consumer Comment: MEN- THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE.......

*Consumer Comment: MEN- THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE.......

*Consumer Comment: MEN- THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE.......

*Consumer Suggestion: My two cents

*Consumer Comment: Something should be done

*REBUTTAL Individual responds: Child support is needed So is visitation

*Consumer Comment: Family Court or Kangaroo Court???

*Consumer Suggestion: Men: the answer is simple...

*Consumer Suggestion: Get on you state legeslators about it!

*Consumer Comment: Child support payments are for the children.

*Consumer Comment: my x was busted for drugs and i refuse for my son to be in the middle of it

*Consumer Comment: some confusion?

*Consumer Comment: Where does the $ really go???

*Consumer Comment: american dictatorship court system

*Consumer Comment: Huh...

*Consumer Comment: Let's not forget what is most important

*Consumer Comment: Courts are messed up

*Consumer Comment: To daughter of father who runs and hides

*Consumer Comment: Anti-Abortion Acti. should picket SEU \Family Courts

*Consumer Comment: The Court System Needs Retooling

*Consumer Comment: Comment on how much we value children

*Consumer Suggestion: Women also need to take responsibilty

*Consumer Comment: who's side are the laws written for???

*Consumer Comment: exuse you

*Consumer Comment: Bunch of crap indeed

*Consumer Comment: get real

*0:

*0: I have not recieved a child support check since april of 2001

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This whole dead beat dad thing is a bunch of crap. The courts don't empower the dad to be an equal parent. Why not just run from the situation if the outcome will allways be the same?

You are posting the wrong thing on your site. The REAL ripoff is the court.

The court has stolen my kid and fined me with debilitating child support payments for ex to leave me. Now who deserves the rip off report, THE COURT SYSTEM!!!! Not the dad's!

I urge you to go after the REAL ripoff artist the family court system. The dad's don't need to hear your shit after getting screwed by the court system.

a soon to be dead beat
Dad

iW10-26

.........................
EDITORS NOTE:

Rip-off Report also provides a classification for
Court Judges, Criminal Justice System to Government Corruption and more. See the hundreds of Categories listed under
Outrageous & Popular and Unusual Rip-offs.

We agree with you, BUT, there are many dead beat DADS and MOMS out there that DO deserve what they get. Most of the time the Court Judges make decisions for all the wrong reasons.

If you disagree with a specific Rip-off Report, go to the bottom of that Rip-off Report and Click on "MY COMPANY HAS BEEN REPORTED!
HOW DO I RESPOND?" Make your unedited statements.

badbusinessbureau.com

This report was posted on Ripoff Report on 10/26/2000 12:00 AM and is a permanent record located here: http://www.ripoffreport.com/r/Court-System-Dead-Beat-Dads/nationwide/Dead-Beat-Dads-The-REAL-rip-off-is-the-court-REBUTTAL-I-am-a-17-year-old-girl-father-3682. The posting time indicated is Arizona local time. Arizona does not observe daylight savings so the post time may be Mountain or Pacific depending on the time of year.

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Updates & Rebuttals

#1 Consumer Comment

Men, and Women are not equal like our constitution says we are.

AUTHOR: Cwolfe98 - (U.S.A.)

In response to both sides of this issue, I see hate, lots of it. If we really look at the situation with an open mind it is clear that the family court system has issued 90% of all child support orders against the male gender. No matter how good of a father you, and in lots of cases the better person to take care of the minor children, the courts will not rule in your favor. I had a child with a women when I was 19 years old. When we broke up, she moved in with her father, and refused to get any type of job for three years.

I worked my a** off to get my own home, started my own business, saved money for my child's education, purchased new vehicles for myself, and yes paid 20% of my income to the mother of my child. My child lives and a s*** neiborhood, I live in a exclusive neiborhood, I drive a lincoln with a 5-star crash test rating, my ex drives a car from the eighties that barely runs. My home is well kept, my ex is simply not a clean person. My child has her own bedroom at my home, my ex shares her bedroom with my child. I want to put my child in private school, my ex chooses to home school my child against my wishes. I have no education, my ex has a six year college degree that I paid for before we broke up. I pay over a thousand dollars a month in child support, and my ex's father confirmed to me he gets use of none of those funds to help pay the bills.

If you were a judge, and you had no idea who was male or female, who would you award custody to. I have no rights, the judge of the family court is the father of my child. My ex gets to do what ever she wants, gets paid for it, and is backed by the family court judge. Lets forget that I am the one working to improve my life, and want so much to pass good work ethics, and ethics in general to my child, but because I have a dick my rights are restricted, and there is nothing I can do about it. I tried but attorneys in general just want to make money, and the courts simply don't care. What happened to the equal protection under the law, or better yet I thought feminists want to be treated equal to men, and they should be. I always hear the term "In the best interest of the child". Our government should take that into consideration because simply placing a child with the mother is not always in the best interest of the child.

One more thing to all the women that think that 20% to 50% of a person's income is not good for you, then offer to allow the father to raise the child, and I am sure you will find out that at least 70% of the father would be happy to take care of their child. Child support is to support the child, not you. I is not there to pay your entire rent or mortgage payment, or your car payment, or even all of your food bill. Its there to pay a portion of the bills that the child consumes. Any person required to pay more than $750.00 in child support per child is getting ripped off because there is a point when the women is profiting from the birth of a child. Everyone should pay child support, fair child support but the courts need to do a better job at determining the better interest of the child. One more note, women who are ordered to pay child support have a far far worse record than men, and in lots of cases men don't even ask for child support from the women.

Chris
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#2 Consumer Comment

I really am beginning to hate the term "Deadbeat Dads".

AUTHOR: R. - (U.S.A.)

If most of you people had any idea how troubling it is to lose your home, family and children to divorce and have an ex who brainwashes your young children to hate you, never being allowed to have any relationship with your own flesh and blood, but be jailed for getting even as much as One month behind on child support while still being ordered to pay alimoney, childsupport, private schoold for two kids... being falsely accused of molesting your daughter, having false police reports filed against you...This is a sample of what many, many divorced fathers are going through. WE ARE NOT ALL DEADBEAT DADS! Many of us are DEAD BROKE DADS!

I encourage the GOOD AND DECENT, CARING fatherS out there who are experiancing job loss, depression, illness, hopelessness...stand up for yourselves and fight for your right to have a relationship with your children. The tide is changing. Get involved in a church and join fathers & childrens rights group in your state..They are growing like wildfire! Stay strong!
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#3 Consumer Comment

In response to Mike from Wentzville - just floored when I read your comment

AUTHOR: Tracy - (U.S.A.)

I was just floored when I read your comment and while everyone is entitled to their own opinion, your was highly insulting to all mothers who have done the right thing and are struggling day to day to survive, while the father of their kids go on about their life, buying what they want when they want, all the while putting their children last on their "bills to be paid" list. I was married for 10 years and had 3 children with a man who was a good provider and always said my job was to stay at home with the kids. Didn't want me to work. Then one day out of the blue, he told me he wanted a divorce because he wanted someone else. He made over $100,000, but yet wanted to pay next to nothing for child support. I told him we would work out the details to avoid him being hammered by the courts, because I do realize it isn't always fair to men in the court system when it comes to child support assignment. He agreed to the set amount, but getting him to pay has been a uphill battle ever since. It has been 3 years now, and about every three months, we have a blow out over support. This from a man that has a top of the line pick-up, nice home, and a new baby with a new wife.. He gets his kids on the weekend, but he will not get them on the holidays or throughout the summer, because it is "an inconvenience" to him. I am livid that you try to crucify women for wanting to simply provide for their children, especially with the 7th grade name calling you tossed in there. I know I have the option to have it taken directly out of his paycheck, but the nice person in me has not wanted to go down that road, but I am headed that way soon. He makes $30.00 and hour and I make $10.77 and hour. Have you ever tried to support 4 people on $10.77 and hour? He believes this is easily done. And you think women are stupid? My kids want things, but obviously the money is never there for them, unless I take it out on credit. Yes...credit. This means while he builds his future and moves on, I am bulding debt and a life long commitment of paying it off, all for raising OUR children.

So while you are preaching your chauvenistic views, please stop to take a moment to realize that not all women want to ruin mens lives and that there are also some MEN out there that have no problem ruining their ex's and their own childrens lives.
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#4 Consumer Comment

This whole issue on Dead-beat dads

AUTHOR: Aungela - (U.S.A.)

Everybody is so up in arms about the whole deadbeat dad issue. First and foremost I AM a single mother of one son. I had my child in my first year of college (pregnant at 18, gave birth at 19). I would have never thought that I would become a "baby mama". When I first got together with my son's father, I never thought that he would be the type of person that would just up and leave at the first sign of trouble. Then again, I didn't put it past him if he did, so it soften the emotional blow on my part.

But the point I am making is that my son is 5 years old, and I filed child support just before I had him. Los Angeles County Distric Attorney's family support division served him papers twice, and not once have I received anything. My son doesn't even know this man, and I wish not to bring him up until the time arises and he asks the question. My son's father wouldn't give a rat's behind if my son was living or dead today or tomorrow. And what makes it even more sad is that this man is a college graduate (who is probably making more money than I am) and still won't be the man and father he should be.

It breaks my heart that my son has to suffer because his own father wasn't ready to step up to the plate and be a responsible parent. My question for deadbeat dads is this: WHY MUST YOU HURT YOUR CHILDREN BY BEING FOOLISH? I know I made the choice to have my son, but I would rather do that than make the choice of killing him via abortion and dealing with the psychological repercussions for the rest of my life wondering what my child would have looked like, their personality traits, etc.

For people who have these opinions about women having these children to men (WE were supposed to know would act like this): us women who have these kids DON'T READ MINDS! We are not the psychic friends network, and when we enter into these relationships, we are still learning something everyday like the next person. So your ridiculous and outrageous opinions don't offend me or phase me. Second: you walk a mile in my shoes, and tell me if you still have the same opinion (if you were in the same position) then as you do now, then get back to me on it. Third: raising children as single parents is not an easy task, but in the end it is rewarding. I am currently a junior in college managing a 3.0 gpa. I am to this day continuing my education to not only better myself, but the life of my son. And if his father were to jump off of a bridge today and kill himself, I wouldn't feel no remorse for him. I would feel it for my son, because that was one opportunity missed for my son to get a chance to have a relationhship with his father.

SO TO DEADBEAT DADS: swallow your pride for once in your life and be positive role models to your kids. Because of your abandonment to your children, you affect the rest of their lives forever. They suffer for your foolishness.
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#5 Consumer Comment

This whole issue on Dead-beat dads

AUTHOR: Aungela - (U.S.A.)

Everybody is so up in arms about the whole deadbeat dad issue. First and foremost I AM a single mother of one son. I had my child in my first year of college (pregnant at 18, gave birth at 19). I would have never thought that I would become a "baby mama". When I first got together with my son's father, I never thought that he would be the type of person that would just up and leave at the first sign of trouble. Then again, I didn't put it past him if he did, so it soften the emotional blow on my part.

But the point I am making is that my son is 5 years old, and I filed child support just before I had him. Los Angeles County Distric Attorney's family support division served him papers twice, and not once have I received anything. My son doesn't even know this man, and I wish not to bring him up until the time arises and he asks the question. My son's father wouldn't give a rat's behind if my son was living or dead today or tomorrow. And what makes it even more sad is that this man is a college graduate (who is probably making more money than I am) and still won't be the man and father he should be.

It breaks my heart that my son has to suffer because his own father wasn't ready to step up to the plate and be a responsible parent. My question for deadbeat dads is this: WHY MUST YOU HURT YOUR CHILDREN BY BEING FOOLISH? I know I made the choice to have my son, but I would rather do that than make the choice of killing him via abortion and dealing with the psychological repercussions for the rest of my life wondering what my child would have looked like, their personality traits, etc.

For people who have these opinions about women having these children to men (WE were supposed to know would act like this): us women who have these kids DON'T READ MINDS! We are not the psychic friends network, and when we enter into these relationships, we are still learning something everyday like the next person. So your ridiculous and outrageous opinions don't offend me or phase me. Second: you walk a mile in my shoes, and tell me if you still have the same opinion (if you were in the same position) then as you do now, then get back to me on it. Third: raising children as single parents is not an easy task, but in the end it is rewarding. I am currently a junior in college managing a 3.0 gpa. I am to this day continuing my education to not only better myself, but the life of my son. And if his father were to jump off of a bridge today and kill himself, I wouldn't feel no remorse for him. I would feel it for my son, because that was one opportunity missed for my son to get a chance to have a relationhship with his father.

SO TO DEADBEAT DADS: swallow your pride for once in your life and be positive role models to your kids. Because of your abandonment to your children, you affect the rest of their lives forever. They suffer for your foolishness.
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#6 Consumer Comment

This whole issue on Dead-beat dads

AUTHOR: Aungela - (U.S.A.)

Everybody is so up in arms about the whole deadbeat dad issue. First and foremost I AM a single mother of one son. I had my child in my first year of college (pregnant at 18, gave birth at 19). I would have never thought that I would become a "baby mama". When I first got together with my son's father, I never thought that he would be the type of person that would just up and leave at the first sign of trouble. Then again, I didn't put it past him if he did, so it soften the emotional blow on my part.

But the point I am making is that my son is 5 years old, and I filed child support just before I had him. Los Angeles County Distric Attorney's family support division served him papers twice, and not once have I received anything. My son doesn't even know this man, and I wish not to bring him up until the time arises and he asks the question. My son's father wouldn't give a rat's behind if my son was living or dead today or tomorrow. And what makes it even more sad is that this man is a college graduate (who is probably making more money than I am) and still won't be the man and father he should be.

It breaks my heart that my son has to suffer because his own father wasn't ready to step up to the plate and be a responsible parent. My question for deadbeat dads is this: WHY MUST YOU HURT YOUR CHILDREN BY BEING FOOLISH? I know I made the choice to have my son, but I would rather do that than make the choice of killing him via abortion and dealing with the psychological repercussions for the rest of my life wondering what my child would have looked like, their personality traits, etc.

For people who have these opinions about women having these children to men (WE were supposed to know would act like this): us women who have these kids DON'T READ MINDS! We are not the psychic friends network, and when we enter into these relationships, we are still learning something everyday like the next person. So your ridiculous and outrageous opinions don't offend me or phase me. Second: you walk a mile in my shoes, and tell me if you still have the same opinion (if you were in the same position) then as you do now, then get back to me on it. Third: raising children as single parents is not an easy task, but in the end it is rewarding. I am currently a junior in college managing a 3.0 gpa. I am to this day continuing my education to not only better myself, but the life of my son. And if his father were to jump off of a bridge today and kill himself, I wouldn't feel no remorse for him. I would feel it for my son, because that was one opportunity missed for my son to get a chance to have a relationhship with his father.

SO TO DEADBEAT DADS: swallow your pride for once in your life and be positive role models to your kids. Because of your abandonment to your children, you affect the rest of their lives forever. They suffer for your foolishness.
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#7 Consumer Comment

This whole issue on Dead-beat dads

AUTHOR: Aungela - (U.S.A.)

Everybody is so up in arms about the whole deadbeat dad issue. First and foremost I AM a single mother of one son. I had my child in my first year of college (pregnant at 18, gave birth at 19). I would have never thought that I would become a "baby mama". When I first got together with my son's father, I never thought that he would be the type of person that would just up and leave at the first sign of trouble. Then again, I didn't put it past him if he did, so it soften the emotional blow on my part.

But the point I am making is that my son is 5 years old, and I filed child support just before I had him. Los Angeles County Distric Attorney's family support division served him papers twice, and not once have I received anything. My son doesn't even know this man, and I wish not to bring him up until the time arises and he asks the question. My son's father wouldn't give a rat's behind if my son was living or dead today or tomorrow. And what makes it even more sad is that this man is a college graduate (who is probably making more money than I am) and still won't be the man and father he should be.

It breaks my heart that my son has to suffer because his own father wasn't ready to step up to the plate and be a responsible parent. My question for deadbeat dads is this: WHY MUST YOU HURT YOUR CHILDREN BY BEING FOOLISH? I know I made the choice to have my son, but I would rather do that than make the choice of killing him via abortion and dealing with the psychological repercussions for the rest of my life wondering what my child would have looked like, their personality traits, etc.

For people who have these opinions about women having these children to men (WE were supposed to know would act like this): us women who have these kids DON'T READ MINDS! We are not the psychic friends network, and when we enter into these relationships, we are still learning something everyday like the next person. So your ridiculous and outrageous opinions don't offend me or phase me. Second: you walk a mile in my shoes, and tell me if you still have the same opinion (if you were in the same position) then as you do now, then get back to me on it. Third: raising children as single parents is not an easy task, but in the end it is rewarding. I am currently a junior in college managing a 3.0 gpa. I am to this day continuing my education to not only better myself, but the life of my son. And if his father were to jump off of a bridge today and kill himself, I wouldn't feel no remorse for him. I would feel it for my son, because that was one opportunity missed for my son to get a chance to have a relationhship with his father.

SO TO DEADBEAT DADS: swallow your pride for once in your life and be positive role models to your kids. Because of your abandonment to your children, you affect the rest of their lives forever. They suffer for your foolishness.
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#8 Consumer Comment

Constructive? My children are due 32% of their fathers income.

AUTHOR: Donn - (U.S.A.)

I fully understand everyones gripes here. I would also ask that everyone review the child support guidelines for your state.. My children are due 32% of their fathers income. That means I am responsible for the other 68%! My ex was due a total of $125 per week, and paid on occaision that amount, but most of the time it was less. He started missing work (i.e. drug problems and new wife+her 3 kids) and our children went without their support from his part.

I work, full time! (and have since the divorce) Anyone who doesn't work a full time job, has children and tries to live off the support ONLY needs a job and a lesson in finance (unless your wealthy). It can't be done.
Couples who are married and have decent paying jobs and children, BOTH have to work to make ends meet normally.

I can support my kids on my salary, barely! I might add but they can have a roof over their heads and basic living needs met. If you try to live outside your means and expect your ex to make up the difference there is a problem. My ex doesn't support our children and I have made it work by living with what I make. I don't make a ton of money but what I make I use to feed and clothe and house us.

If your ex and his family refer to your car as "The Childsupport mobile" or your home as the "Childsupport Hotel" then THEY have a problem, someone is not working here and griping about it because they feel the ex is doing better because they are getting the support. BS! Everything I have I've earned. Jealousy is rampant with my ex and his family (they can't STAND it because I didn't fall on my face after he divorced me). And its really just about the kids.

There are plenty of idiots who have their kids and don't use the money for the kid(s). But the majority of the people I know personally use the money to help take care of the kids. If your paying your % of state support and mad about it - GET CUSTODY!! IF its all about the money and you don't think your kids are being cared for TAKE them to court and GET custody of that child/children! Stop bitching about it on here.

One more thing, and I'll end..

1 Timothy 5:8
*But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
King James Version Bible
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#9 Consumer Comment

Joint custody was out of the question

AUTHOR: Denise - (U.S.A.)

Joint custody of our children was out of the question for several simple reasons. #1 dear old dad refused to exercise his visitation rights #2dear old dad was convicted of spousal abuse and aggrabated assault, reckless endangerment of his minor children when he choked me unconscious and left me for dead, when he cut the brake lines on my car, and when he attempted to set fire to my match-box trailer in the night.

A judge would never grant him custody! #3 He never asked for anything, but refused to pay the little bit of support he was ordered. He was in jail for 3 days due to non payment, and refused to pay. On on instance, he referred to our youngest son Josh as "John, or whatever the little bastards name is". Now would you allow a person like that to spend half of your childrens life with him? As to whether or not I would lose interest in my children, well HELL NO! No amount of child support, if I had to eat at a local soup kitchen and live in the Salvation Army, would cause me to lose interest in my children! Thats sick, and anyone who would let such cause them to lose interest in their children is sick in the head and should take a long hard look at what they are doing! Its hard to raise 2 kids alone.

If my X had been any kind of father, he could have had joint custody. My niece and her daughter are in a situation like that, and its ideal. She spends quality time with her mother and her father who both adore her, and work together to do whats best for their child. Just because they were unable to remain married for whatever reasons does not mean either of them stopped loving their little girl. If a man or woman loves their child, they will go to the end of the world for them, give the last morsel of food from their mouth, or the last red cent from their pocket! Its the kid that matters here, not the feelings of some man or woman.
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#10 Consumer Comment

To Denise

AUTHOR: Anthony - (U.S.A.)

Men are being forced to pay for a child they weren't ready for, to a woman who had all of the legal choices to NOT be a parent. This is a modern day dictatorship imposed on men with no regard for the Constitution's requirement for equal protection under the law and in complete disregard of gender laws.



Think women are different because they can get pregnant? Sorry, the Constitution doesn't allow that. Pregnancy is a biological characteristic of the female GENDER. The law CANNOT discriminate on the basis of gender.



"This is the deal. It makes me want to puke to see grown men whining about having to pay support for their children. Well, men AND women, if Dad has custody. A child is a diamond in the rough. It takes fne skills to turn a lunp of coal into a soarkling diamond, but it can be done."



Reverse the situation, Denise. Wouldn't women be whining about having to pay child support, particularly for children they only get to see for a whopping 65 days a year? Wouldn't you lose interest in the children? Would other priorities get in the way? What would the court do to a man that doesn't allow visitation as much, cutting the visitation time down to almost nothing? How would you like to be treated by the courts and the custodial parent as nothing more than an egg donor, baby oven, and bank account?



"Bad thing is, it takes money. Some dork recommended that child support should be spend on the child, directly. That, I'm asuming, would exclude funds for mortgage or rent, electricity, water, gas, clothing for Mom (or Dad) to go to work, food for the entire family, auto and health insurance, toiletries, and the list goes on.



He recommended that all the money go straight on the child. Well, you can buy only so many crayons and tennis shoes a month. Problem from that comes from the fact that if you spend the money on the child only, he gets to color in the dark, and wears his tenis shoes to bed to keep his feet warm at night! Its hard to raise a child in the street from a dryer box."



It's even more difficult for a man to raise his child when it's never there, or for a man to pay his hard earned cash to a woman that has no need for the money, but takes it in spite. How hard is it for a man to pay twice in child support what he would normally spend if the child was in his home?



Denise, you've let your maternalistic feelings override your sense of justice.



"Someone else made a comment about mothers taking vacations and dads eating bologna sandwiches. I was awarded the grand amount of $130.00 a month for my 2 boys. My X lived in our house I had helped make the down payment and first 5 years payments on, had a pool installed 2 months after I left, (was beaten weekly), took his girlfriend on a Caribean cruise, him and his buddy on an Alaskan cruise, took a hunting trip for 12 to Montana and paid $130.00 a month child support!



My 2 boys and Ilived in a 2 bedroom trailer, they wore yard sale clothes to school, and were on Medicaid, food stamps and free breakfast and lunch at school. The sad thing was, we were both nurses, and made the exact same thing per hour! I saved every penny I could, but it takes a lot more to house 3 people than 1."



I don't know you, but I'd be willing to bet you never considered joint legal and physical custody. If he had the kids half the time, he'd be paying half the kids' bills. If he has no interest in his kids, then he's scum, even if he is paying the support. Some women don't want joint custody due to selfishness.



There's bad on both sides of the gender "war", but in addition to this, the courts and the government have family court stacked against men. I want to see all treated fairly, but more importantly, I want to see all treated equally in the courts and the law. Many selfish maternalists only believe in equality when it's their equality at stake.



Someone else in here made the comment that men blame women for choosing to get pregnant. There are women who live to be pregnant and get child support checks. They do exist, and they give woman-kind a bad name. These are the same type of women who used to collect welfare checks for a living. Now they collect it from the backs of poor schmucks who were unfortunate enough to be invited into their lair.



What our main complaint is, is that women (generally speaking) get better treatment from the government and the courts. This is not only unfair, it's un-American.



Maternalism is not all good. It can be abused by women to "rape" men in the guise of "the best interests of the children," when many, many times the best interests of the children are to never know Dad, or even to let Dad have custody.



There are those that believe that women are the best nurturers and should be the ones to raise the children. I say that 7 out of 10 juvenile delinquents coming from single parent homes (read homes with only mothers) contradicts that "feeling".



When it comes to children, women and feminists drop their "we want equality" mantra and change it to "screw you, shut up, and shovel gravel to support the child I CHOSE to bring into this world."







Denise - Oxford, Alabama
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#11 Consumer Comment

"Greedy Broads"? ..makes me want to puke to see grown men whining about having to pay support

AUTHOR: Denise - (U.S.A.)

This is the deal. It makes me want to puke to see grown men whining about having to pay support for their children. Well, men AND women, if Dad has custody. A child is a diamond in the rough. It takes fne skills to turn a lunp of coal into a soarkling diamond, but it can be done.



Bad thing is, it takes money. Some dork recommended that child support should be spend on the child, directly. That, I'm asuming, would exclude funds for mortgage or rent, electricity, water, gas, clothing for Mom (or Dad) to go to work, food for the entire family, auto and health insurance, toiletries, and the list goes on.



He recommended that all the money go straight on the child. Well, you can buy only so many crayons and tennis shoes a month. Problem from that comes from the fact that if you spend the money on the child only, he gets to color in the dark, and wears his tenis shoes to bed to keep his feet warm at night! Its hard to raise a child in the street from a dryer box.



Someone else made a comment about mothers taking vacations and dads eating bologna sandwiches. I was awarded the grand amount of $130.00 a month for my 2 boys. My X lived in our house I had helped make the down payment and first 5 years payments on, had a pool installed 2 months after I left, (was beaten weekly), took his girlfriend on a Caribean cruise, him and his buddy on an Alaskan cruise, took a hunting trip for 12 to Montana and paid $130.00 a month child support!



My 2 boys and Ilived in a 2 bedroom trailer, they wore yard sale clothes to school, and were on Medicaid, food stamps and free breakfast and lunch at school. The sad thing was, we were both nurses, and made the exact same thing per hour! I saved every penny I could, but it takes a lot more to house 3 people than 1.
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#12 Consumer Comment

My Response

AUTHOR: Anthony - (U.S.A.)

Once a couple commits to having a baby, voluntarily, and together, they are responsible to that child for 18 or more years. I'm sure we can all agree on that.



Where it breaks down is when a single father doesn't want a child, but the single mother does. The mother CHOOSES to let her maternal instincs get the better of her. She could CHOOSE abortion, legal abandonment, or adoption, but she CHOSE to keep the baby. These are all legal options for her, but not for him.



Society teaches women that just because they choose to poop out a tadpole that a man is financially responsible to both of them, it's almost a form of prostitution: you can get paid for sex, but only if you get pregnant.



Sorry ladies, but you have legal choices available, and even though support is one of them, it's wrong to force a man to pay for a child he doesn't want, when you have all the options available when you don't want the child. Isn't that a little two-faced? You can choose not to be a parent, but men can't?



When both parents want the child and a breakup results, joint custody should be the rule, and not the exception, with shared costs.



Ladies, you really need to choose your men more carefully. I could almost think you are doing what you accuse men of doing, thinking with your crotch.
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#13 REBUTTAL Owner of company

the courts are the problem!!!!!!!!!!!!1

AUTHOR: M - (U.S.A.)

lets take away a mans child, take away his rights to true fatherhood, take away his pay check take away his right to financial freedom, financial privacy, take away his right to only work 40 hrs. and lets givem a scare lets tell him if he misses a payment we will put him away in jail. hmmm lets see only wild animals that are caged up have less freedom. the crap about its taking care of your child bla bla bla. is crap the courts spen more money on dehumanizing the non-custodial parents in our sociaty that they fail to realize if they spent half as much time heping the non-custodial parents by ensuring visitation and equal parenting i bet you child support would get paid 5 out ten times. better than the 2 out of ten times now isnt it. im sorry for the 17 year old but it wont be long pretty soon you can tell your child how much of a deadbead father your child has that way any possible future relationship will be ruined and that way too the father will only be good for one thing money because everychild should hear that there parent is no good be sure to tell the kid too that the father ran off too better yet print your story out so that way the child can read it and decide for him self. i say this because most custodial young moms do this.. and we non custodial parents have to accept the fact that the custodial parents have drilled it into the heads of the child that the non custodial parent is no good..get a grip and never talk ill the the father he may be back
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#14 Consumer Comment

Thanks Tammy

AUTHOR: Lost - (U.S.A.)

I just wanted to say thank you for the unbiased, honest opinion....it really helps.
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#15 Consumer Comment

Thanks Tammy

AUTHOR: Lost - (U.S.A.)

I just wanted to say thank you for the unbiased, honest opinion....it really helps.
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#16 Consumer Comment

Thanks Tammy

AUTHOR: Lost - (U.S.A.)

I just wanted to say thank you for the unbiased, honest opinion....it really helps.
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#17 Consumer Comment

Thanks Tammy

AUTHOR: Lost - (U.S.A.)

I just wanted to say thank you for the unbiased, honest opinion....it really helps.
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#18 Consumer Comment

For Lost in Florida

AUTHOR: Tammy - (U.S.A.)

Assuming that you are actually the father of the child, then yes, I would agree with you on your plan. The best interests of the child should be considered. If you lose your bid and end up paying her child-support if it is established that you are the father, you might want to consider taking an extra step if you can afford it. Setting up a trust fund for the child. For if the woman remains true to form and ends up pregnant again so she can increase her welfare entitlements and get free training for job placement programs, she will spend most of the money on herself or trivial stuff and there won't be money set aside for education and savings. It is sad but true that there are many ways that a woman can blow child support money and still be legal about it and there not be anything left to show for it.
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#19 Consumer Comment

HERE'S MY STORY...YOU JUDGE...

AUTHOR: Lost In - (U.S.A.)

Hi, so far I see a lot right in what people are saying regarding this and a lot wrong. Mike was right about some things, wrong about others. Some of the ladies need to just realize that even if the dad is a deadbeat, imagine the extra satisfaction that comes from raising your child all on your own....



Well, here's my story: I am a 24 yr old guy who is generally regarding by most that know him as stand up, I never, I mean NEVER have lied in any relaiontionship due to the fact that I've been lied to by those closest and it hurt me to the heart.....well, I moved to FL and I met a girl, now she was a stripper (I DJ'ed, she danced,lol), but I tried to reserve judgement because people do what they have to do. We became friends, or so I thought, for over a year before we had sex. Although it wasn't really a freindship, it was kinda a respect people in certain night buisnesses gain for one another...you probably wouldn't know unless you've been in it. Plus, even though I had known her for over a year, we hadn't seen or heard from each other for about 8 months because my new job kept me quite busy.



We had sex twice, and she considered herself my girlfriend. Well, that lasted all of about A WEEK!!! During that week , she told me she was pregnant. Also, she asked me to sign for things such as her cell phone and a CAR, a F&$*#*# CAR!!! (needless to say, that didn't happen.) At the time, I was working a commission job making about 24,000 a year and taking about 9 hrs a semester while she danced making about 1000 a week. Then about 4 days later she said she wasn't pregnant, then she broke up with me due to the fact that I wasn't 'showing the same level of attention' (ie=taking her out) that I was before. I could honestly care less that she was a 21 yr old who "left me" for a 45 yr old married guy who she had basically let the dancer/customer relationship get out of hand with.



He bought, where as I didn't....I told her I had bills, car repairs, and moving expenses to attend to in conversation, not in justifying why we didn't eat out as much as we used to.



Well, funny thing is after that happens, about a month and a half later, she shows up saying how SHE IS PREGNANT, and it is my child. Here she is demanding my SSN and address when, as it turns out, she's only back here because things fell through with married dude.



She later finds out I have lost my job and all my dough plus car and savings....and once she finds out Im not giving out my info till it is decided in court she storms off. Well she comes back later after yet another attempt at patching it up with married guy falls through. So at this time I said F&$! it, if it's mine let's get a DNA test. She refuses due to some weird obscure stat that says those tests lead to more of a chance of miscarriage...when after research, I concluded that the chance for miscarriage from natural causes is greater anyway, but anyhow...



Im forced to move away due to a newfound (and hopefully short-lived) reliance on my parents, and she has since either changed her number or has moved and I can't get in contact with her. Honestly, I've concluded it is the best way, because me fulfilling her wishes of being there when the baby was born might guilt me into signing for a child that might or might not be mine (actually consulted with a female lawyer on this one, she told me not to be within 50 miles of that hospital,lol). But it tears my heart up every day and night, and has completly changed the way I look at relationships as a whole.



Thing is, she was already talking about planning on getting a house about 3 months after the baby is born...HUH?!?!? She couldn't even get the car note and cell phone bill paid (yeah, married dude signed for that). When I mentioned that to her, she quickly rattled off how well, with welfare and Florida assistance, with her dancing (and doing other things) she can make that happen. {By the way at this point, she was about 5 months into it}



Inside I cried right there for that child. Here is a person that has no resonable shot at being the right type of person that can support a child, much less herself, and I mean that mentally, emotionally, and financially. Here I am, a guy who at times has lived on the wild side, but understands certain virtues such as loyalty, and love does not include $ signs, plus has a pretty good shot at finishing college in about a year, and is overall a very bright dude...so I came to this conclusion:



The instant I have the means and resources, Im going after full custody.



It's best for the child due to the fact that I can prove in court that I am the more responsible, caring individual AND I can provide for my child through legal, tax paying means...not prostitution (not saying all exotic dancers are prostitutes, but I learned from her after our sexual encounters that she does perform certain activities in the club for money)and hoping for a meal ticket.



Even when you fator out the emotional part of this (yes, a HUGE part of me would love to see her not get anything..no child, no money, none of that attention from having a baby that seems soooo much more important to some females nowadays than the actual daily taking care of the child because of the absolute emotional horrors this has put me through), I can easily educate the child more than her in terms of schooling, and life (this, I feel confident that I can also prove to a judge).



Plus, I understand that every time that child is in my vincinity, what I do has a distinct impact on him/her, a life in the streets or stripclubs just doesn't work in that situation.



My point is, some of us really care, and situations by the judge and us, in general, should be judged by that unique situation, not a status quo that from what I have observed through hours on hours of internet research seems to indicate. I love my child, even if I don't know if he/she exists or is mine, and I will fight wire to wire if it is proven that the child is mine for custodial rights.



As I've explained before, it's not just the money, but the hell, let's talk about the money...For example, will she have the insight to dedicate money to the child getting musical lessons, or a brand new dress/pair of shoes?? I think she will not pick the right thing here. If Im sending 30,000 or so a year into support (I plan to make a lot of money,lol), then I feel the child should have at least 200,000 grand in savings after 18 years....I think she (Baby's momma) will opt for the Mercedes and Gucci though..so, if I have to, Im willing to circumvent and conspire to hide a HUGH amount of income so that my child can have something when he/she is grown, other than memories of nice clothes and cars as a youth. Thing is, the mom seems to be thinking about the child as a "come-up", and not a part of the parent that you are obligated to do your damndest for in all aspects of life.



Don't get me wrong, I will pay something, but not enough to support even just the mother too, much less the other losers that will certainly attach themselves.



Yeah, some will say just pay it because at least you know you did YOUR PART...NO IT WONT BE!! So I gave a lot of money, and my child grows up wtih a false sense that things are just handed to people, and lives can be used as the equalvalent of poker chips. I'd rather duck the law to ensure that the child has a post 18 future.



Im not saying this applies in all cases, because after countless hours of research and reading ALL of these posts, I see where some men AND some women have been very wronged.



Yet in my unique case, I know Im right, I feel it in my heart, and Im going to do what I feel is right, not what the status quo says is right.



Ladies and Gents, please tell me what you think in your posts...no matter what side of the fence you are on your opinion is appreciated.



Signed,



Planning and Waiting to wage war for his (maybe)child's future (and yes the future includes what comes after their 18th birthday),
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#20 Consumer Comment

I have had enough

AUTHOR: Connie - (U.S.A.)

ok, i have been ignoring, for the most part, the comments that have been posted by these ignorent and chauvinistic men regarding how children are better of being raised by their fathers. i am going to try to remain constructive, but this has gotten so ridiculous that i am not sure this is going to be possible. where is the proof? statistics, examples any proof at all the children raised by fathers vs mother turn out better? you can't state that what you have been alluding to is fact unless you can back it up, so prove it! i doubt that you can and it certainly doesn't seem that the childrens BEST INTEREST are being taken into consideration at all. you can't use 1 instance, or 1 persons horror story to justify a blanket condimnation of all women. I know my fair share of women who use and abuse the system and i know the men that are living as best they can to do the best they can given what their circumstances are, but the blame needs to be shared, by the women and the men. And I also know plenty of men out there are more emotionally unstable then the women they are with. it is insane the assume that men are the only one's to provide advantages for their children.

I refuse to get into a debate on who is better, men or women, which is what this discussion is beginning to sound like, bottom line for both parents is if you bring children into this world, and your relationship doesn't work out, you have an EQUAL responsiblity to those children for the rest of you life. a decent, loving and compassionate person will do there utmost to make the situation as easy as they can for the children involved. but it takes both parties behaving in a civilized matter to accomplish this. and both men and women are equally guilty of selfish behavior and anything done by either party to hurt the other will hurt the children someday and is selfish and vindictive. every person deserves to be happy, but not at the expense of the children
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#21 Consumer Suggestion

Bad choices

AUTHOR: J. - (U.S.A.)

Mike may have been harsh, but I feel he is right on the money. Everyday I watch women make bad relationship choices, and then moan and complain when they suffer the adverse effects.



Maybe you would still be married if you waited for the right man?? All too often, women choose the bad boys, or the men with the most money, best appearnace, etc. When you over-look or choose to ignore the more importnant traits, you are bound to end up seperated.



Many women who are cheated on, abused, etc argue that they had no idea their partner was capable of such horrid behavior. Of course, for the most part, this is nonsense. Either signals were missed, or they were ignored.



Therefore, if your ex is failing to pay support, the fact is, you are partly to blame. It is quite possible that you disregarded his negative traits for whatever reason (looks? money?) before even getting pregnant. As a result, you are now getting exactly what you asked for.



In the event your ex is not a scum-bag, I would urge him to take Mike's advice and fight for custody of his children. I personally believe that in most cases children are better off with their fathers; assuming the fathers are fit.



My reasons for such a belief is complex, and I do not have the time to fully explain at present. However, I can say that in divorce cases where fathers are awarded custody, the children will likely turn out better.



In seperation cases, where children are raised in the homes of their fathers, they often grow into more prodductive citizens. This is because women who have undergone a divorce are often incapable of providing the guidance and discipline children (especially boys) need.



Children of divorce are already victims. Placing them with emotionally unstable women who have proven their inability to make solid life decisions, would only result in their further victimization.
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#22 Consumer Suggestion

Bad choices

AUTHOR: J. - (U.S.A.)

Mike may have been harsh, but I feel he is right on the money. Everyday I watch women make bad relationship choices, and then moan and complain when they suffer the adverse effects.



Maybe you would still be married if you waited for the right man?? All too often, women choose the bad boys, or the men with the most money, best appearnace, etc. When you over-look or choose to ignore the more importnant traits, you are bound to end up seperated.



Many women who are cheated on, abused, etc argue that they had no idea their partner was capable of such horrid behavior. Of course, for the most part, this is nonsense. Either signals were missed, or they were ignored.



Therefore, if your ex is failing to pay support, the fact is, you are partly to blame. It is quite possible that you disregarded his negative traits for whatever reason (looks? money?) before even getting pregnant. As a result, you are now getting exactly what you asked for.



In the event your ex is not a scum-bag, I would urge him to take Mike's advice and fight for custody of his children. I personally believe that in most cases children are better off with their fathers; assuming the fathers are fit.



My reasons for such a belief is complex, and I do not have the time to fully explain at present. However, I can say that in divorce cases where fathers are awarded custody, the children will likely turn out better.



In seperation cases, where children are raised in the homes of their fathers, they often grow into more prodductive citizens. This is because women who have undergone a divorce are often incapable of providing the guidance and discipline children (especially boys) need.



Children of divorce are already victims. Placing them with emotionally unstable women who have proven their inability to make solid life decisions, would only result in their further victimization.
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#23 Consumer Suggestion

Bad choices

AUTHOR: J. - (U.S.A.)

Mike may have been harsh, but I feel he is right on the money. Everyday I watch women make bad relationship choices, and then moan and complain when they suffer the adverse effects.



Maybe you would still be married if you waited for the right man?? All too often, women choose the bad boys, or the men with the most money, best appearnace, etc. When you over-look or choose to ignore the more importnant traits, you are bound to end up seperated.



Many women who are cheated on, abused, etc argue that they had no idea their partner was capable of such horrid behavior. Of course, for the most part, this is nonsense. Either signals were missed, or they were ignored.



Therefore, if your ex is failing to pay support, the fact is, you are partly to blame. It is quite possible that you disregarded his negative traits for whatever reason (looks? money?) before even getting pregnant. As a result, you are now getting exactly what you asked for.



In the event your ex is not a scum-bag, I would urge him to take Mike's advice and fight for custody of his children. I personally believe that in most cases children are better off with their fathers; assuming the fathers are fit.



My reasons for such a belief is complex, and I do not have the time to fully explain at present. However, I can say that in divorce cases where fathers are awarded custody, the children will likely turn out better.



In seperation cases, where children are raised in the homes of their fathers, they often grow into more prodductive citizens. This is because women who have undergone a divorce are often incapable of providing the guidance and discipline children (especially boys) need.



Children of divorce are already victims. Placing them with emotionally unstable women who have proven their inability to make solid life decisions, would only result in their further victimization.
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#24 Consumer Comment

It goes both ways....

AUTHOR: Marcie - (U.S.A.)

I feel that child support should be paid, but that there ARE custodial parents out there (mostly women) who take advantage of the system out of vindictiveness. My boyfriend is 25 years old and his parents were never married. He lived with his mom til he was 18. She worked the entire time at low wage jobs and wasnt on any kind of assistance. His fatherpaid all his child support on time and alot of the time, paid more than he was supposed to because he knew she didnt make that much and he didnt want his son to go without anything.



His mom constantly badmouthed his dad, mainly out of vindictiveness. She tried his entire life to pit him against his dad. Even though his dad was paying the supportand then some, she still took him back to court and tried to get more. In doing this she pretty much screwed herself because the judge reduced the amount his dad had to pay, though his father continued to pay the higher amount.



He wanted to live with his dad hbut didnt want to change schools, so he didntmove in with his dad til after he graduated from high school. They have lived together ever since and get along great. The thing is for the guys, if you pay your support and the woman tries to screw you over or keep your kids from you, you'll have alot better leg to stand on if you take her to court to see your kids.



Also, when you pay your support and the woman continues to be difficult about it, your kids will grow up knowing that you supported them and that you cared and they WILL know who the troublemaker was in the situation. If you dont pay, then not only are you a deadbeat for not supporting your own children, but they will grow up hating you, which is nothing less than what you deserve. It's called KARMA. One day you'll want a relationship with them (if you have any conscience at all) and they'll tell you to go pound salt.
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#25 Consumer Comment

It goes both ways....

AUTHOR: Marcie - (U.S.A.)

I feel that child support should be paid, but that there ARE custodial parents out there (mostly women) who take advantage of the system out of vindictiveness. My boyfriend is 25 years old and his parents were never married. He lived with his mom til he was 18. She worked the entire time at low wage jobs and wasnt on any kind of assistance. His fatherpaid all his child support on time and alot of the time, paid more than he was supposed to because he knew she didnt make that much and he didnt want his son to go without anything.



His mom constantly badmouthed his dad, mainly out of vindictiveness. She tried his entire life to pit him against his dad. Even though his dad was paying the supportand then some, she still took him back to court and tried to get more. In doing this she pretty much screwed herself because the judge reduced the amount his dad had to pay, though his father continued to pay the higher amount.



He wanted to live with his dad hbut didnt want to change schools, so he didntmove in with his dad til after he graduated from high school. They have lived together ever since and get along great. The thing is for the guys, if you pay your support and the woman tries to screw you over or keep your kids from you, you'll have alot better leg to stand on if you take her to court to see your kids.



Also, when you pay your support and the woman continues to be difficult about it, your kids will grow up knowing that you supported them and that you cared and they WILL know who the troublemaker was in the situation. If you dont pay, then not only are you a deadbeat for not supporting your own children, but they will grow up hating you, which is nothing less than what you deserve. It's called KARMA. One day you'll want a relationship with them (if you have any conscience at all) and they'll tell you to go pound salt.
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#26 Consumer Comment

It goes both ways....

AUTHOR: Marcie - (U.S.A.)

I feel that child support should be paid, but that there ARE custodial parents out there (mostly women) who take advantage of the system out of vindictiveness. My boyfriend is 25 years old and his parents were never married. He lived with his mom til he was 18. She worked the entire time at low wage jobs and wasnt on any kind of assistance. His fatherpaid all his child support on time and alot of the time, paid more than he was supposed to because he knew she didnt make that much and he didnt want his son to go without anything.



His mom constantly badmouthed his dad, mainly out of vindictiveness. She tried his entire life to pit him against his dad. Even though his dad was paying the supportand then some, she still took him back to court and tried to get more. In doing this she pretty much screwed herself because the judge reduced the amount his dad had to pay, though his father continued to pay the higher amount.



He wanted to live with his dad hbut didnt want to change schools, so he didntmove in with his dad til after he graduated from high school. They have lived together ever since and get along great. The thing is for the guys, if you pay your support and the woman tries to screw you over or keep your kids from you, you'll have alot better leg to stand on if you take her to court to see your kids.



Also, when you pay your support and the woman continues to be difficult about it, your kids will grow up knowing that you supported them and that you cared and they WILL know who the troublemaker was in the situation. If you dont pay, then not only are you a deadbeat for not supporting your own children, but they will grow up hating you, which is nothing less than what you deserve. It's called KARMA. One day you'll want a relationship with them (if you have any conscience at all) and they'll tell you to go pound salt.
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#27 Consumer Comment

It goes both ways....

AUTHOR: Marcie - (U.S.A.)

I feel that child support should be paid, but that there ARE custodial parents out there (mostly women) who take advantage of the system out of vindictiveness. My boyfriend is 25 years old and his parents were never married. He lived with his mom til he was 18. She worked the entire time at low wage jobs and wasnt on any kind of assistance. His fatherpaid all his child support on time and alot of the time, paid more than he was supposed to because he knew she didnt make that much and he didnt want his son to go without anything.



His mom constantly badmouthed his dad, mainly out of vindictiveness. She tried his entire life to pit him against his dad. Even though his dad was paying the supportand then some, she still took him back to court and tried to get more. In doing this she pretty much screwed herself because the judge reduced the amount his dad had to pay, though his father continued to pay the higher amount.



He wanted to live with his dad hbut didnt want to change schools, so he didntmove in with his dad til after he graduated from high school. They have lived together ever since and get along great. The thing is for the guys, if you pay your support and the woman tries to screw you over or keep your kids from you, you'll have alot better leg to stand on if you take her to court to see your kids.



Also, when you pay your support and the woman continues to be difficult about it, your kids will grow up knowing that you supported them and that you cared and they WILL know who the troublemaker was in the situation. If you dont pay, then not only are you a deadbeat for not supporting your own children, but they will grow up hating you, which is nothing less than what you deserve. It's called KARMA. One day you'll want a relationship with them (if you have any conscience at all) and they'll tell you to go pound salt.
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#28 Consumer Comment

MEN- THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE.......

AUTHOR: JENNIFER - (U.S.A.)

FIRST OF ALL, MIKE, YOU ARE A JERK! YOU PROBABLY DON'T PAY YOUR CHILD SUPPORT EITHER OR YOU DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. IF YOU DO BY CHANCE HAVE CHILDREN AND YOU DO PAY FOR THEM, THEN GREAT FOR YOU, THEREFORE YOU SHOULD JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE A SINGLE PARENT WORKING A 40 HR A WEEK JOB, PAYING DAYCARE FOR TWO (2) CHILDREN, HEALTH INSURANCE, GROCERIES, EVERYDAY BILLS TO SURVIVE AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT THE CHILDREN MIGHT NEED LIKE, CLOTHING, BOOK FEES, SCHOOL PROJECTS, OR A ROOF OVER THERE HEAD, ETC. THERE ARE ALOT OF PEOPLE, MEN AND WOMEN THAT ARE STRUGGLING TO MAKE ENDS MEET EVERY MONTH TO INSURE THAT THEIR CHILDREN ARE TAKEN CARE OF. PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO THINK THAT WOMEN ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO A MAN THEN WHY DO YOU PICK THEM UP IN BARS AND ANYWHERE ELSE YOU MAY FEEL LUCKY. THESE WOMEN SHOULD BE AVOIDING YOU AND IF YOU ARE MARRIED, THEN I PITY YOUR WIFE. THERE IS DEFINATELY A PLACE IN HEAVEN FOR HER. MY EX HUSBAND HAS NEVER HELD A JOB TO AMOUNT TO PAY A LIGHT BILL. NOW YOU CAN KISS THE HIN-ENDS OF ALL THE PARENTS THAT ARE DOING THEIR PART. AS FAR AS A FIT PARENT IS CONCERNED, YOU ARE NOT ONE. YOU CHILDREN WILL GROW UP WITH WHARPED MINDS LIKE YOU. YOU ARE A MISERABLE SOUL.
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#29 Consumer Comment

MEN- THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE.......

AUTHOR: JENNIFER - (U.S.A.)

FIRST OF ALL, MIKE, YOU ARE A JERK! YOU PROBABLY DON'T PAY YOUR CHILD SUPPORT EITHER OR YOU DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. IF YOU DO BY CHANCE HAVE CHILDREN AND YOU DO PAY FOR THEM, THEN GREAT FOR YOU, THEREFORE YOU SHOULD JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE A SINGLE PARENT WORKING A 40 HR A WEEK JOB, PAYING DAYCARE FOR TWO (2) CHILDREN, HEALTH INSURANCE, GROCERIES, EVERYDAY BILLS TO SURVIVE AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT THE CHILDREN MIGHT NEED LIKE, CLOTHING, BOOK FEES, SCHOOL PROJECTS, OR A ROOF OVER THERE HEAD, ETC. THERE ARE ALOT OF PEOPLE, MEN AND WOMEN THAT ARE STRUGGLING TO MAKE ENDS MEET EVERY MONTH TO INSURE THAT THEIR CHILDREN ARE TAKEN CARE OF. PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO THINK THAT WOMEN ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO A MAN THEN WHY DO YOU PICK THEM UP IN BARS AND ANYWHERE ELSE YOU MAY FEEL LUCKY. THESE WOMEN SHOULD BE AVOIDING YOU AND IF YOU ARE MARRIED, THEN I PITY YOUR WIFE. THERE IS DEFINATELY A PLACE IN HEAVEN FOR HER. MY EX HUSBAND HAS NEVER HELD A JOB TO AMOUNT TO PAY A LIGHT BILL. NOW YOU CAN KISS THE HIN-ENDS OF ALL THE PARENTS THAT ARE DOING THEIR PART. AS FAR AS A FIT PARENT IS CONCERNED, YOU ARE NOT ONE. YOU CHILDREN WILL GROW UP WITH WHARPED MINDS LIKE YOU. YOU ARE A MISERABLE SOUL.
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#30 Consumer Comment

MEN- THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE.......

AUTHOR: JENNIFER - (U.S.A.)

FIRST OF ALL, MIKE, YOU ARE A JERK! YOU PROBABLY DON'T PAY YOUR CHILD SUPPORT EITHER OR YOU DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. IF YOU DO BY CHANCE HAVE CHILDREN AND YOU DO PAY FOR THEM, THEN GREAT FOR YOU, THEREFORE YOU SHOULD JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE A SINGLE PARENT WORKING A 40 HR A WEEK JOB, PAYING DAYCARE FOR TWO (2) CHILDREN, HEALTH INSURANCE, GROCERIES, EVERYDAY BILLS TO SURVIVE AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT THE CHILDREN MIGHT NEED LIKE, CLOTHING, BOOK FEES, SCHOOL PROJECTS, OR A ROOF OVER THERE HEAD, ETC. THERE ARE ALOT OF PEOPLE, MEN AND WOMEN THAT ARE STRUGGLING TO MAKE ENDS MEET EVERY MONTH TO INSURE THAT THEIR CHILDREN ARE TAKEN CARE OF. PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO THINK THAT WOMEN ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO A MAN THEN WHY DO YOU PICK THEM UP IN BARS AND ANYWHERE ELSE YOU MAY FEEL LUCKY. THESE WOMEN SHOULD BE AVOIDING YOU AND IF YOU ARE MARRIED, THEN I PITY YOUR WIFE. THERE IS DEFINATELY A PLACE IN HEAVEN FOR HER. MY EX HUSBAND HAS NEVER HELD A JOB TO AMOUNT TO PAY A LIGHT BILL. NOW YOU CAN KISS THE HIN-ENDS OF ALL THE PARENTS THAT ARE DOING THEIR PART. AS FAR AS A FIT PARENT IS CONCERNED, YOU ARE NOT ONE. YOU CHILDREN WILL GROW UP WITH WHARPED MINDS LIKE YOU. YOU ARE A MISERABLE SOUL.
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#31 Consumer Comment

MEN- THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE.......

AUTHOR: JENNIFER - (U.S.A.)

FIRST OF ALL, MIKE, YOU ARE A JERK! YOU PROBABLY DON'T PAY YOUR CHILD SUPPORT EITHER OR YOU DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. IF YOU DO BY CHANCE HAVE CHILDREN AND YOU DO PAY FOR THEM, THEN GREAT FOR YOU, THEREFORE YOU SHOULD JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE A SINGLE PARENT WORKING A 40 HR A WEEK JOB, PAYING DAYCARE FOR TWO (2) CHILDREN, HEALTH INSURANCE, GROCERIES, EVERYDAY BILLS TO SURVIVE AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT THE CHILDREN MIGHT NEED LIKE, CLOTHING, BOOK FEES, SCHOOL PROJECTS, OR A ROOF OVER THERE HEAD, ETC. THERE ARE ALOT OF PEOPLE, MEN AND WOMEN THAT ARE STRUGGLING TO MAKE ENDS MEET EVERY MONTH TO INSURE THAT THEIR CHILDREN ARE TAKEN CARE OF. PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO THINK THAT WOMEN ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO A MAN THEN WHY DO YOU PICK THEM UP IN BARS AND ANYWHERE ELSE YOU MAY FEEL LUCKY. THESE WOMEN SHOULD BE AVOIDING YOU AND IF YOU ARE MARRIED, THEN I PITY YOUR WIFE. THERE IS DEFINATELY A PLACE IN HEAVEN FOR HER. MY EX HUSBAND HAS NEVER HELD A JOB TO AMOUNT TO PAY A LIGHT BILL. NOW YOU CAN KISS THE HIN-ENDS OF ALL THE PARENTS THAT ARE DOING THEIR PART. AS FAR AS A FIT PARENT IS CONCERNED, YOU ARE NOT ONE. YOU CHILDREN WILL GROW UP WITH WHARPED MINDS LIKE YOU. YOU ARE A MISERABLE SOUL.
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#32 Consumer Suggestion

My two cents

AUTHOR: Jeff - (U.S.A.)

I would like to add my two cents into this whole mess. First, I am like the other people on here who have to pay and have to suffer at times because of it. I can not afford an attorney that is good enough to change my situation, so I have to deal with it. I have 3 children 2 who I have custody of and the third ( from my new ex) that she has custody off. I have to pay close to 1/3 of my monthly income to my ex ( includes child support) and my girls and I have to suffer at times.



While it is not like we have to live on the street, we do have a hard time making ends meet sometimes. We string things along and pick them up on the next paycheck, and that includes food. It is sad that I have to give out this much money and I have to count it into my income.



According to her, her income is extremely low. I did some math and according to her numbers, I am providing nearly 50% of the income in her household. I don't get to claim taxes, I don't get any perks and I have to pay for my child when her is at my home. Am I complaining about having to support my child? not at all, matter of fact I would gladly not take child support from my ex to have my child.



Also, to all you people who want support or are complaining about not getting it. Take this into thought, how about not seeing your child for weeks at a time and only on certain holidays? I suppose you love them right? how about sitting home on Christmas wishing they were there? How much is all that worth to you in dollars? 1000? 5000? 10,000? I would give up so much to have my child and for you people who have the joy and luxury of having your child just feel lucky. I didn't go off and leave my ex, I didn't cheat, hit, steal, abuse ect. She left me and took my child, she lied to me and said we would have joint custody. To be honest the story is way too long and I was to ignorant to see through her. Is she a bad mom? no, does she have issues? yes.



So now, (for you people who say child support enforcement is on my side) I am dealing with CSED. They say I have never made a payment, they send a letter to my employer saying I am 12 weeks or more in arrears (total crap). Of course this isn't supposed to be taken into consideration when you are promoted. But they can take a credit report and use that. Well, they report to the credit agencies! So now, "I, me, no one else" has to get all these records and go to them to prove I have been paying. So I do, did I get a little saying they were in error? nope. Matter of fact, I get a letter saying I owe one amount, then another amount a week later. I call and complain, and get the excuse that a computer generates them not the local office. Matter of fact, the local office has no idea they are being generated. So, when it come tax time, their "COMPUTER" will take my taxes I am sure. So, to all who think they are on my side, that is crap. I have paid, on time, since day one. She goes on vacations, buys games, goes out to eat, ect ect. My girls and I just get by. There are some of you who say, get child support for the girls mother.. well, from prison that is hard, and besides, I am just happy to have them.



I am not complaining about not getting support, for you who do, why don't you let the other parent have them then. If the other parent has been "proven" unfit, that is a different story. Also, if you left the marriage for anything less then infidelity or abuse then you should have let the other parent have them anyway.



Here in Oklahoma, people have free reign to do as they wish in a relationship and still take all. We are what you call a "No Fault State". Meaning, you can screw around, lie to your partner, have then save for your future, buy a home ect ect. And meanwhile you can screw around, party, or whatever. Guess what? when you leave you get half of it all. Whooo hooo. Yeah, the other can file adultery charges, but heck if your good enough you can get away with that. And to think, we cant even get a lottery here. The bible belt? yeah right. So meanwhile, I miss my child, pay out my butt, and deal with the state who supposeably is on my side. If they are on my side, I would hate to see what it would be like if they weren't.



I give 1/3 of my pay to my ex. I cant get free medical, food stamps, ect. It is still counted as my income, she goes out and gets all that stuff. I am happy to have my two kids and I don't want no support, it is a small price to pay to see them grow up daily. If my ex gets on here and say she don't get enough, well give my child to me and I will deal with it. Again, a small price to pay to be with my child.



So this is how it works

****************************************************************

So how does this child support sham usually work? This is a good example: Lets take an imaginary guy, we will call him Joey. One day our friend Joey finds out that he is going to have to pay child support. Support Enforcement calls to let him know that he has to go to court and establish an amount to pay. Joey heads down to the court house and they tell him that he is going to have to pay $200.00 a week. Now Joey is thinking WOW, not only is that half my paycheck, but twice the amount I was spending when the child lived with me. Joey wants to do the right thing and since the government is telling him what the proper amount is, he goes along with the high payment. He figures they must know best.



He lives on this remaining $200.00 a week for a few years, always struggling to survive. One day he tries to lower the amount. Let's say, Joey is married now and has two more children that live with him. Joey tells the court that he is forced to spend more money on one child then the two that live with him and he just can not do it any more. What the court says: Sorry Joey, we do not care if your two kids are starving, we want that money. You should get another job or we just might have to throw you in jail. So our friend Joey goes and gets another job. What do the government vultures do then? They jack up the support order! Now they are telling Joey to pay $300.00 a week. As any red blooded American would do, Joey says screw this! Why work a second job if they are going to extort more money from me and my family. He goes back down to that dreaded court house to let them know. And what does the black robed thug tell our friend? Sorry Joey, we don't care if you can not afford it, you have shown us that you have the ability to pay that amount, so were not going to lower it, and if you do not pay it were going to label you a deadbeat and throw you in our debtors prison until you come up with that money. What is Joey going to do now? Nothing! (taken from http://www.dirtydoglaw.com/child-support)

*************************************************************





No one is on my side, I don't get preferential treatment from the state and I have to give out a whole lot more then I would actually spend on my child if that child lived with me. I did not choose to leave, choose to lie to us all and we suffer at the hands of the system that is on my side. What can I do about it? NOTHING, unless someone gives me money to get a lawyer or pays my bills for the YEARS it will take to get the courts to maybe change it. Guys basically get screwed by this system.



I am done rambling here, so you people who have your child support or not, I envy you. I would take my child even if I had to pay. The bad part is I don't have my child and I still have to pay an amount that put me and my children at a lower lifestyle then were where when I had all my children. I am not taking sides, not saying anyone is wrong except the people who say the system is on my side. THAT IS TOTAL CRAP.
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#33 Consumer Comment

Something should be done

AUTHOR: Annon - (U.S.A.)

I also agree, child support is necessary. But the system today has gotten out of hand.



As one of 4 daughters of a dead beat dad, it would have been extremely helpful for him to have paid any kind of support...even if it was only $50 a month. He paid nothing. The places we lived in were pitiful and I don't recall every having any clothing that weren't first worn by a stranger, (bought from salvation army), then by my 3 older sisters before it got to me.



It seems to me though that the fathers who do fulfill their obligations are paying the penalty for those who do not. Some women do take advantage of the system.



Case in point. I currently have a close friend who is going through a divorce. At the initial hearing (October), he was ordered to pay all household and marital bills until their house was sold and the separation completed. Once that was done he was to pay $600 in child support (for 1 17 year old boy), and $480 for spousal support. The house was sold and final separation was completed December. He notified the "friend of the court" of this event and had the begin taking the funds from his paycheck.



She went to Friends of the court and told them he was to start paying child and spousal support beginning in September. Without seeing any legal documents or asking him, they put him in arrears and attached his check for the additional amount. She then filed her taxes Married filing separately, (knowing he was going to have to pay taxes for 2003), and claimed their son as a deduction. As she got over 2k refund, I assume she claimed earned income credit as well. This woman has a job with benefits and pension!(Which is more than most people.)



She continually harrasses him, tells the boy BS stories about how he isen't giving her enough, and sometime outright fabrications about events during the course of their marrage, which makes him feel uncomfortable. He has come to our house in tears, because of the way she acts and things she says. We've told him he can live with us, but he wants to finish out school where he is. I for the life of me, can not understand how these manipulating, self-serving women can take any pride in the the way they conduct themselves, and as usual the bad behaivor usually has a direct effect on the children and their future relationships.
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#34 REBUTTAL Individual responds

Child support is needed So is visitation

AUTHOR: Brandi - (U.S.A.)

Before I get yelled at I would first like to say that child support should be paid. However I am engaged to a wonderful man who is paying 1/2 o his income from 2 jobs to his 4 children great stand up guy however 2 of his kids have a different mother and they play games with him as far a s being able to see his kids . That is so messed up even if he didnt pay child support I think a child has the right to know there father and then if he proves him self no good to the children than that will be the childs descion. My whold point is that a visitation order should be set at the same time child support is set. My fiance cannot afford to hire a lawyer to fight this because he is paying child support and he cant see his kids one he has not seen in 2yrs on he has only seen 1 time in the past 3yrs. The children want to see him and he has made plea aftar plea with the mother. In the in this low life b*t*h comes out looking like a struggling hero. NOT FARE AT ALL!
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#35 Consumer Comment

Family Court or Kangaroo Court???

AUTHOR: Jennifer - (U.S.A.)

I've also had the misfortune of dealing with the Family a/k/a Kangaroo Court's and the fact is that a non custodial parent is nothing more than a stationary target for these Courts.

In too many cases the 'make them pay' mentality leaves the non-custodial parent destitute.



When a Parent is left destitute by these Kangroo Courts is it any wonder that the non custodial parents have a resentment of their children???

Non Custodial parents have to eat and survive too.

If your only working to pay Taxes & Child Support and have little, if anything, left to support yourself then what incentive do you have to work???



It's a sad commentary that Murder's have more rights in Court than a non custodial parent does.
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#36 Consumer Suggestion

Men: the answer is simple...

AUTHOR: Mike - (U.S.A.)

Men: The answer here is simple; turn the tables on the greedy broads. In the event of a divorce, fight for full custody, and win. For the most part, men are more competent and productive citizens. Generally, we work harder; we are more willing put in long hours when needed; we make more money, and we have much less in terms of emotional baggage.



On the other hand (generally speaking), women are emotionally unstable. They are too emotional before menopause and bitter cold after it. Women are also intellectually inferior, and extremely lazy. They moaned loud enough to obtain equal rights, but now that they have them, they would rather engage in coffee talk than engage in work. They constantly complain about the bills. Wahhhh! It's called a job, women!



Women have unprotected sex with bottom of the barrel men, based only on their looks and/or possessions, and then complain when they are left with children. Of course, this is assuming they don't engage in one of the worst violent acts possible; baby murder via vacuum aka abortion.



So, again, the answer is simple. If you are going through a divorce, fight hard for custody of your children. Try to prove that your wife is an unfit parent. Chances are, this won't be too hard if you try; especially if your ex has any of the abovementioned traits.



More importantly, if you win, you will benefit in many ways. First, you will get to spend more time with your kids. This is the best benefit! That way, you can establish strong social relationships with them. You will also be able to make certain that your sons don't turn out to feminine mama's boys, or worse!



Second, you will be able to control the finances. You will be able to make sure that your kids get what they need, while ensuring that that your ex is not being unjustly enriched at your expense. Since men are usually better with money, you will save in the end.



Lastly, if you get a more conservative judge, you may be able to turn the tables and get "support" from your ex. Ohhh those bills! I say, make them practice what they preach, and make them pay!



These are just my thoughts.... Let the female cry-babying begin. I can hear it now: "how dare you, being a stay at home do-nothing' mama is hard work coffee costs money, gas for the SUV I made my husband buy me costs money. That's it ladies, keep dreaming. Keep trying to justify your worthless lives. Sell that nonsense elsewhere, because no one with any sense is buying.
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#37 Consumer Suggestion

Get on you state legeslators about it!

AUTHOR: Chaz - (U.S.A.)

That's what they get paid for...they sure as h*** don't have any qualms about drawing their pay. Make them earn it.



Make yourself a big pain in their collective arse. Call each day twice a day. On their toll-free number. Send them letters. Postage due. Make them want to fix it just so they don't have to look at you.



Appeal to beat h***. Flood the people with paperwork. Appeal the appeals.



Good Luck.
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#38 Consumer Comment

Child support payments are for the children.

AUTHOR: Tammy - (U.S.A.)

My sister lost her husband who was the father of her three children. She now gets social security for them. Since it is social security and it is strictly for the children, she was told by the social worker at Social Security exactly what she could spend that child support money on.



Rent, utilities, clothing, bedding for the kids, toys for the kids, food, trips, school supplies, scholastic activities for the kids, or she could put it in a savings account. It would also be perfectly acceptable to apply a portion of that money to a vehicle that is used mainly for family purposes. You can also invest in bonds, stocks with that. You can pay child care expenses with it.



You just can't blow it on yourself. It has to go towards the kids or the general household where the kids partake in it.
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#39 Consumer Comment

my x was busted for drugs and i refuse for my son to be in the middle of it

AUTHOR: Calina - (U.S.A.)

Wow we must have it easy in OKlahoma..IF the parent goes on welfare here the absent parent has to pay it all back. That's if it is food stamps or a check..Anyway i to have the same situation but my x was busted for drugs and i refuse for my son to be in the middle of it..(Even if he is 12 and his dad han't seen him in 10 years.) I am newly remarried and my husband takes very good care of my son and as for child suppport offices they r on the side or the person paying the support if u one of the lucky few who get it..In fact my ex hasn't filed taxes in 5 years cause he knows that he's not getting anything back..And to the lady who was gettting $1200 a month feel lucky cause all i should get is $150.00 rember my son is 12 5'10 and weights 150 and wears a size 10 shoe and growing everyday..!150.00 doesn't even begin to make a dent..Sorry for rambling..
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#40 Consumer Comment

some confusion?

AUTHOR: Connie - (U.S.A.)

I do agree that the government plays to big of a roll in citizens everyday lives, however I think there is some confusion over what is acceptable for child support to be used for. While no one should be living in the lap of luxery at the non custodial parents expense, it IS acceptable to spend said child support on the items that benefits your children. this includes, rent, food, electricity, heat and transportation. I have three kids, while I can get along just fine, in say an escort or tempo by myself, i can't fit 3 kids and all their geer in a vehicle this size (i did this in a tempo for a year, believe me, it is not easy) so, it stands to reason that a larger vehicle ( i now drive a minivan) is used to support the children. same applies to housing, by myself 1 bedroom apt, no problem, 3 kids, need a 3 bedroom, my 2 girls share 1, my son has one, and i have 1, sooo housing is support for the children. why should I not use my child support (moot point in my case, my x-hus has not paid in over a year and hasn't seen or called his kids since, so i support them on my own anyway) to help pay my rent? or help pay for my car payment? or pay the electric bill or daycare? if some of these people were still with the parent of their children, would they spend $700 (example based on my court ordered amount) exclusivly on that child/children? I don't think so...so yes, child support is for the children (and i know mothers who abuse their childsupport and should be held accountable) and the monthly expenses of raising a child, providing shelter and transportation and the like is supporting the child and therefore using child support for these expenses is what child support is for.
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#41 Consumer Comment

Where does the $ really go???

AUTHOR: Karl - (U.S.A.)

Where does the $ really go???



I was 29 recently Divorced. We worked out visitation with our girl's ages 8 & 4. After the Divorce she went on welfare (before welfare reform), Oh by the way her new boy friend had moved in. Nice guy we get along fine. He worked for Bayliner Boats and was a grade 1 lead after being there for about 9 years. And was earning a modest income. I on the other hand was working as a line cook for about $27,000 a year and a motor route for the Seattle Times for a total of about $36,000.



I had remarried and my new wife had 1 child a wonderful little boy (His father passed away). My child support was set at $1180.00 a month most of the time I could only pay about half. I needed to pay more but I was doing the best that I could do. I also had bills and a new relationship and a step child (Son). My girls were also coming over every other weekend. And sometimes more. That also cost. After 9 years I had paid almost $54.000 the average payment I made was about $500 a month. I still owed $73000.



So my wife and I get divorced she gets a new boy friend with a good job, she also got welfare, free medical, food stamps and housing. And I owe? Where did the money go? Can anyone tell me? I know my girls did not receive $127,000



Now that my girls are grown and I am still paying and still owe about $41000 in back support. Why should I have to pay all of this debt what about her she gets this for free and I have to pay it back? This is not right.
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#42 Consumer Comment

american dictatorship court system

AUTHOR: Casey - (U.S.A.)

The biggest problem here folks is our courts. We have these things called political parties. Some of these people use our judicial system to better there campaign or career as an elected official. Washington state is a perfect example. Our stupid govenors would rather raise taxes than spend the ones we have wisely. That is why we have the debt that now exists. Take well fare for example. It should be as hard to get as unemployment. You should not be able to collect it unless you have put in on it in the past!



Then we have the child support issue. Every parent, like myself should have to contribute to a childs well being in every way. But, the government should have very little say in any of that! Afterall the government of today is simply there to make money off of its citizens. Unless of coarse, you are an illeagal alien. Then you get all the democrats sympathy and republicans money. This is being proven right now in the sickening state of California!



So to get back to dads and child support, first we must keep the government from having such a profound affect on american families. They are the reason for continued fights down the road amongst families. The courts have given my hippocrite ex girlfriend so much power over me that I sometimes wonder what would happen if I just quit visiting my son. But I would rather die.



Point is that she is totally psyco and can't get over the fact that I don't want her anymore. So she tries to punish me by keeping my son from me. This is a classic example of shitty parenting, but what does the damn court do? They enable her to continue the same shit over and over.



Now who in their right mind can tell me that our system gives a f*** about our children?



Nobody, thats who.



I'm ready for the revolution, are you?
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#43 Consumer Comment

Huh...

AUTHOR: Tammy - (U.S.A.)

Anti-Abortion Acti. should picket SEU \Family Courts



I feel for each and every young woman or man who is a parent. I am and I hear people say that it was my choice, because I am the woman. It was my choice to be stupid o.k.



I admit it but as far as giving birth and having a child out of wed-lock and all that other so called speculated american family value crapp. I had a choice to prevent pregnacy not a choice in getting pregnant!



Sex is inevitable can't change it can't stop it, its what makes the world go round. But as far as getting pregnant a controlable choice of a woman

a man has to get her pregnant!!!!Her choice is preventing it her choice is keeping it or terminating it all at a great cost beyond what some, not all, can't ever understand.



A man can prevent it and can start life a woman can only prevent it because we women can't impregnate ourselves or impregnate a man we get pregnant by the man and cary the child and bare the child.



Obviously contriversy is a split truth of both sexes. But education and preventive measures are the key issues not Blaming women for getting them selves knocked up, because its impossable. thanks



Marci - Auburn, New York

U.S.A.



+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Could someone please explain what Marci said. I could not make heads or tails of what she was saying.



++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



The Court System Needs Retooling



I sympathize for children who do not ask to be born, but women ultimately choose to have a child.



Quote from e. above.



++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Ultimately I think that both people miss the point here in this discussion. When you have sex with a person, you make the decision then to accept responsibility for whatever the outcome of that encounter is. Period. No birth control method is fully fool-proof and I have personally known women who have gotten pregant while on the pill, while using a condom and even after having their tubes tied or their mate having a vascectomy.



Thus, anyone who has sex needs to be fully prepared to deal with STDs, with the emotional fallout of it, and yes, with a child. I don't think that any guy should use abortion as an excuse and tell a woman, that ultimately it is her responsiblity to be totally responsible for that child because she had a choice and she didn't excercise his choice.



IT takes two to create a person, from the moment of conception. It takes two to raise a child ideally from the moment of conception. It is hard and almost impossible for one to do it alone. There should be a method and a means that is fair to both sides.



It would also help if the women involved didn't use the courts and the child as a means of making the guy pay, of getting revenge, because those kinds of games make a guy not want to pay and it is ultimately the kid who suffers.



I hope that all works out with all the posters here.
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#44 Consumer Comment

Let's not forget what is most important

AUTHOR: Connie - (U.S.A.)

I am saddened to read some of these posts attacking women for getting pregnant. It is sensless the argue about what is already done, and the fact that a lot a girls get pregnant due, in part, to their home life seems to have been overlooked. But that is not what I am responding to. I see too much energy being spent on the financial part of "child support", when the most important part is about supporting your child with your presense, physically and emotionally. I am the divorced mother of 3 children, ages 10,8 and 6. My ex did real good for about a year (we have been divorced for 3 years), but could never seem to understand that even in the event he didn't have any money that week, that it was still important to call, see, talk to his children and act like he cared about them and what was happening in there lives. He hasn't paid support now in almost a year, and while, yes it would be nice to get the child support that is court ordered (actually we had an amibicale divorce and agreed on $700/mo to cover daycare costs only plus out of pocket medical my insurance didn't cover) what is more important to me is that he hasn't seen his kids in 7 months, has talked to them on the phone 3times and move out of state to avoid them. this is a man that, yes i married him, but he married me too and together we brought these kids into this world, and it isn't fair to them to have their daddy around one day and then just be gone, and it isn't fair to me to have to get help from my family to keep them in activities that he started them in because i need help affording them, but the worst part is, bottom line, money is between the grown ups, not the kids, i told him time and time again that i don't care about the money as much as i care that you are there for them. anyhow, just remember, that these kids will remember this when they are grown, they will remember who WAS THERE, physically and emotionally for them, they won't care who paid for what but they will care who loved them enough to be there for them and who loved them enough to teach them how to love back, by word and action.
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#45 Consumer Comment

Courts are messed up

AUTHOR: John - (U.S.A.)

I'm a father who dodged the child support bullet. My wife left me when my son was only 1 1/2 yo. I raised him and when we got our separation papers and divorce decree I had custody and she had visitation. He stayed with my almost up until his 18th birthday. Then he wanted to move in with her and I agreed to this, as by this time he had become quite difficult to live with and has since moved from one family member or friend to another. Anyway, to get back on track. Over the years I was raising him, I was much better off financially than she was. Now the point of my post is, if she would have had him, the courts would have based how much child support I should pay her, mostly on my income, and this would not be fair. Because the infusion of that amount of money would have probably meant a 50% to 70% increase in my ex-wife's household income, and this is not right, to add such a surplus for adding just 1 child into a family of a husband, wife and 2 kids of their own. Basically, due to the screwed up nature of the courts, I would have been subsidizing my ex-wife's whole family. And that is not right and not fair. Luckily I dodged the bullet on this one and also did my best to raise him right.
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#46 Consumer Comment

To daughter of father who runs and hides

AUTHOR: Fred - (U.S.A.)

Sorry to hear you Dad runs and hides when forced to pay child support. 80% of all dads and moms that are supposed to pay child support do pay. Sometimes the courts are very wrong when they make a decision. This child support problem our country is having is a major issue that needs to be fixed. The courts and goverment go after Dads like they were criminals and sometimes instead of fighting for thier rights they decide it's better to run away from the problem. I dont know the details of your case but, in many cases there are problems between the parents that dont end with the divorce. The person paying feels like the one getting the money is a greedy person who wont let them live a new life. The one getting the money feels like they deserve the money and even more. In the end it's always the kids who get hurt. Mom's want to keep living in the same confort they had when they were married and dont care if the ex needs to starve in order for her and the kids to not feel the divorce financially. The fact is when a marriage works everyone in the family enjoys the money that comes from the mom and dad working together as a team. When the marriage fails everyone needs to accept a lower standard of living. The courts think money is the answer. It's not ! You don't throw money at a kid and expect him to turn out okay. In fact it might just do the opposite. What is more important? Getting money or seeing your Mom or Dad. If a person cant pay a high child support amount, does that make them a bad parent? No it does not. Money is not the answer. Parents divorce each other but, they dont divorce their kids. If you dad cant pay, so what? You should still see him (if he loves you and wants to see you) If your Mom complains about the money. Tell her money isnt everything. Chances are if your dad cant pay what he is supposed to he would like to.Maybe he just cant afford the amount the courts want him to pay. It isnt about the money although in todays world it can seem like that. Many divorced moms will read this and be angry. You know if the Dad does not care about the children you have every right to be. If the dad does care but, just cant afford to pay what the (court) says he must then you need to look in the mirror and remember that you dont always get what you want in this world. If your child is healthy and his or her dad loves them. Be happy. Money is after all the root of all evil. It isnt about the money..it's about the kids.
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#47 Consumer Comment

Anti-Abortion Acti. should picket SEU \Family Courts

AUTHOR: Marci - (U.S.A.)

I feel for each and every young woman or man who is a parent. I am and I hear people say that it was my choice, because I am the woman. It was my choice to be stupid o.k.



I admit it but as far as giving birth and having a child out of wed-lock and all that other so called speculated american family value crapp. I had a choice to prevent pregnacy not a choice in getting pregnant!



Sex is inevitable can't change it can't stop it, its what makes the world go round. But as far as getting pregnant a controlable choice of a woman

a man has to get her pregnant!!!!Her choice is preventing it her choice is keeping it or terminating it all at a great cost beyond what some, not all, can't ever understand.



A man can prevent it and can start life a woman can only prevent it because we women can't impregnate ourselves or impregnate a man we get pregnant by the man and cary the child and bare the child.



Obviously contriversy is a split truth of both sexes. But education and preventive measures are the key issues not Blaming women for getting them selves knocked up, because its impossable. thanks
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#48 Consumer Comment

The Court System Needs Retooling

AUTHOR: e - (U.S.A.)

I sympathize for children who do not ask to be born, but women ultimately choose to have a child. I agree that child support is necessary, but it should be equally divided between the parents. One parent should not have a greater burden unless there is a significant difference between their finances. I have a friend that is dealing with an unfair judgment, because the mother only works 6 months out of the year and goes on unemployment for the other 6. She has done this for the past 6 years. At 26 years of age, this 'woman' engaged in a relationship with a 16 year old boy who she supervised. She became pregnant and had the child. Where is the justice for this boy who became a father before he became a man? Year after year she confirms that she should never have had this child since she has proven that responsibility escapes her.
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#49 Consumer Comment

Comment on how much we value children

AUTHOR: Aimee - ()

Isn't it odd that the one "bill" you can get away with NOT paying in America is the care of your child?



If you owe for anything else, you'll be found and made to pay or go bankrupt. Not taking care of our children financially and emotionally -- a.k.a. neglect -- not only has devastating consequences on each individual child, but on our society as a whole.



People under the age of eighteen (aka children) are people that deserve the financial and emotional support of the the TWO people that created them.



I think it would be more effective to simply charge a non-support paying parent with flat out Neglect, put them on probation, require job training, and "baby sit" them until they grow up and take care of the child they helped bring into this world.



Male or female, if you're neglecting your own child, please stop -- your child is depending on you - it's not about you and your ex and who did what to whom - none of that is the child's fault - no matter what happened two people created the child and two people are meant to provide for the child. Grow up! Okay, I think I've gotten that off my chest.
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#50 Consumer Suggestion

Women also need to take responsibilty

AUTHOR: Jenny - ()

Do not have unprotected sex with trashy drunken men who have histories of leaving women, and these types of things will not continue to happen. By involving yourself with a man capable of the behavior you describe, you got precisely what was coming to you; what did you expect? Next time, consider more than the man's looks, material possessions, and financial position. By doing so, you will be able to prevent these situations. YOU are the cause of your son's position, as well as your own.



Many women of previous generations feel that they are owed something; regardless of what they do, or who they do it with. They need to take responsibility for their lives by getting educated, or by getting qualifications that will allow them to be self supportive. If women have no marketable skills, they will never be able to recover if and when bad love life decisions are accidentally made. Women need to put themselves into positions where they do not need to rely on anyone.



In any event, next time you should choose a better life partner. Obviously, if a man is capable of running out on his own kids, YOU made a bad choice. If you would not have missed or ignored the mans negative personality flaws before taking off those pantzz, you and your son would not be in this bad situation.



We ALL make bad decisions, and even though this may sound harsh, I do wish you the best.
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#51 Consumer Comment

who's side are the laws written for???

AUTHOR: Rebecca - ()

It seems to be true, child support laws are for the person who owes the support not the childs needs. It takes money to raise a child and my son who is now 17 won't even think of seeing his what he calls the sperm donor because he was never there he never paid support and owes over 75 thousand dollars. It takes alot of hard work on the part of the parent who is bringing the child up and the deadbeat father or mother should be forced to pay up. These kids did not hatch. It took 2 to make the baby and the 2 who did it should share the cost.



I have yet to see a child ask to be born. With the help of my family and my ex's father, My son has done well but it was hard and I would not want to go through it alone again. The absent parent will pay in the long run no matter what.

Maybe not with money but it will come back around some how. As a nurse in a mother baby unit I see alot of scared people. I wish you all luck in getting what your child should not have to fight for.



Also to the one who thinks that the parent who must pay the support is the one who suffers, don't make the baby then you don't have to worry about what the real parent is spending the money on. (Feeling guilty?) or just pissed because you got cought? maybe..... All deadbeat parents who run out on there child should be put in jail. The laws should be enforced. Child abuse does not always mean a beating!!! It is to bad the laws do not get enforced. Some one should do their jobs and make these parents pay what they owe. :-)
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#52 Consumer Comment

exuse you

AUTHOR: Nichole - ()

I am the mother of a 19 month old little girl i'm 21 yrs old how can you say that child support shouldn't be used on bills because that has everthing to do with the child if it wasn't for my support my daughter and i would be living on the street eating out of the damn dumpsters. and as for the people who pay eating bologna thats a bunch of bologna because her father lives about ten times better then us on a damn mcdonalds salery.



you people that aren't in the position need to stay out of it because you obviously don't know what goes down. and the stupid child support office is more on the side of the person paying child support because it was a year before my daughters dad started paying and guess what he doesn't have to pay a year back on child support which i think is bs he had enough balls to drop his pants and look who's paying for it.



my daughter and yes i say MY daughter because you can only be a daddy when your there for your children. so she is mine he was only a good sperm donor and thats were it stops. so don't blame it on the courts and dont say it needs to be spent differently just live with your responsablity and take it from there.



for the first guy who posted i'm sorry to hear they took your kid away from you but if you want your child back take it back to court. and for all the fathers who are daddy's and are there for your children great job but for all of you who are good sperm donors and aren't there for your kids. SKREW YOU!
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#53 Consumer Comment

Bunch of crap indeed

AUTHOR: Victor - ()

I must say I agree with this person they obviously know the woes of child support. That is not to say child support should not be paid, it's just that the payment schedule should be re-evaluated. I know men and women alike who pay child support and it is always the same story unless the parent is a six figure earner. The parent paying the child support lives on bologna sandwiches and the parent recieving the money has new furniture and is going on vacations. I think that child support shold be used strictly for the child not bills, furniture, car payments etc...,but tuition for school or school clothes or supplies that the child might need for projects. Too many times mothers or fathers have new clothes or possesions at the expense of thier ex and thier child.
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#54 Consumer Comment

get real

AUTHOR: Misty - ()

Man you are warped, you have it all wrong! Child support is not about you! Its about the well being and care of your child! It is your responibility to provide for your child. If you do not support your child you are violating your childs human rights! It is duplistic to say that the court will not allow you to be a good father, but you will not be paying child support either. Make up your mind step up tp the plate and be a loving and carring father, you child will apriciate it and so will your ex. read what the young woman had to say about her dead beat father, do you want hurt you child in this mannor? Quit whining and be realistic!
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#55 0

AUTHOR: - ()

They filed the following rebuttal to the above Rip-Off Report:



Their email: TeenOnly17@aol.com

Their name: Linda



Their relationship to the company: Advocate



Rebuttal:

I am a 17 year old girl who has a father that everytime we try to make him pay child support he runs an hides. I have not seen him in 12 years and he is always complaining that he does not see me and my brother and sister but yet at the same time he never contacts us to see us. My mom was recently in court about the child support and the back child support and he doesn't have to pay a cent of his back child support just $500 of it.

That is out of $54,000 dollars of it. I think that it's the court system of today. If you look at his record he has not paid anything for the longest time and everytime we get him to pay he runs after paying a few times. I am not saying that all dads are bad but if you don't pay your child supprt like you sre suppose to your suppose to pay.



Child going threw Child Support problems.
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#56 0

I have not recieved a child support check since april of 2001

AUTHOR: - ()

They filed the following rebuttal to the above Rip-Off Report:



Their email: ljluvstj@neo.rr.com

Their name: Lisa Janka



Their relationship to the company: Consumer Suggestion



Rebuttal:

Let me tell the person who is not agreeing on this. I have not recieved a child support check since april of 2001. my children go without because of my ex being a deadbeat and trying to run. He has not seen them in ten years. And has never tried to contact them in this time. He is a no good man that should not have the privalage of being a father... He has other court orders against him. What a man!!! Loser..
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