You won! DealDash.coms sweet words of victory! I contemplate my navel about the victory, I imagine a soldier who has just won his objective, but when looking back sees absolute devastation and the mangled bodies of his dead or dying friends. Hearing the screams of pain of those shredded and torn to pieces from the battleyes, I guess I had won my DealDash battle, but at what cost?
It started out innocently enough. My laptop had perished and I was in need of a replacement. After hours of careful research, extracting the extreme minutia of dozens of possible candidates, then judging them more harshly than a child beauty pageant, I had finally found my prize for a mere $340.00.
As I was about to hit the Enter key and consummate this transaction, I was halted by my sister entering my office and gasping two words: DEALDASH! Apparently, she had just seen their commercial on Television where you can win a brand new laptop for $1.50. They had a commercial on TV, so they must be legit.
So I open my trusty search engine and type in this magical concoction of letters and voila, a wondrous plethora of links espousing the Awesomeness of DealDash loyally adorn my screen. I see that Teresa in California won her laptop for $0.14! That is what I am talking about! Another site shows Barbara Sellers, a mom, who has won 104 auctions in four months! Astonishing, and a mom would not lie about such things, especially on the internet!
Now I cannot type fast enough open this treasure box and loot all of these prizes from this unsuspecting website. I have to beat this gold rush before the rest of mankind finds out.
I sign up. The first thing I see is that each bid in the auction costs $0.60. Ok, a little air escapes my balloon, but I am
immediately cheered up that I can buy 800 bids for only $0.10 each! I believe I sprained something pulling out my
credit card. 800 bids? Just think of the storage unit I am going to have to rent to put all of these winnings in! I pick up my 800 bids and open the auctions. OMG! There are too many trophies to count! I have to calm down and focus. I am here for my $1.50 laptop.
I find the section where laptops are, but none really fit my deal, so I settle on an ASUS Tablet. I find it comforting that the website has figured out a way to keep unwanted bidders out by not allowing any new bidders after $5.00. At this point, if you have not calculated by now, math is not a second language to me, but a distant something. It did not dawn on me that this would actually allow up to 500 bidders into the pool.
I dutifully put in my bid around 8:00 pm on Saturday night and began to watch the bidders go. I have since found out I committed the newbie mistake of watching the bid clock almost run out then, placing my bid before it went to zero, sometimes at the same time another bidder placed a bid. Going crazy with one finger on the bid button, I begin to look for strategies to save on bids and then I stumble upon the DealDash Genie! BidBuddy! He will submit my bid, guaranteed, regardless if I am distracted. I find this will become invaluable later.
As the night wanes on, I put the BidBuddy on and find out it is dutifully doing its job and taking all of the bidders and putting them in a cue and spending our bids one at a time to keep us in the auction. Whew, what a time saver, but wait, do I really need to be spending money when there are 10 bidders?
As the auction has progressed, I find that there are 128 bidders, and we are at $5.00. I am a little sour now, because I these fools dont get I am here for a $1.50 tablet, not a $5.00 tablet. I start writing down the names of the bidders so I can start to see which ones might be serious.
It is now around midnight. Now I am in too deep. I have been tracking this like an LSD junkie mesmerized to a pinwheel. I have to watch the bidders; I cant let the number fall below three unless that coward drops from the fight. Each time it drops to two bidders I activate my bidbuddy, the only friend I have in this desolate hell hole of purchasing. I am vested, I must conquerI must win!
3:00 am is here. My eyes are burning. I have bid too much money, so if I back out now, all is lost. I will clarify that the site tells me that not ALL is lost, but that I can buy the tablet and they will give me all of my bids back and I can start another mini purgatory. I continue to battle bidder Rocketman13, or as I refer to him The Spawn from Hell. What is he doing? He started at $15.00 and is now at $90 using his bidbeast. That jerk is probably sleeping and does not even know what kind of monkey wrench he has thrown into my brilliant plan for the $1.50 computer.
It is 6:30 am; the power drinks are not even making a dent. I am dozing off. I have had a few intruders into the wire but have successfully repelled them. Only RES842 and Rocketman13 (DemonSpawn) remain.
I am running dangerously low on ammo, I must replenish my bid stock. Thoughtfully DealDash keeps my credit card information handy to restock my gambling chips, I mean bids. If you are too delirious to find the multiple recharging icons, they are conveniently located next to places you need to click on to prolong the pummeling.
07:00 hours: I turn on my BidBattleBuddy and let him fire salvos at the last two enemy bidders to keep them from winning my war.
13:00 hours: I wake from my slumber and curse that I have been so lazy and not attended to the matters at hand. No time for a shower, I must get back to my fighting position. Drat. DemonSpawn 1 & 2 has now dug in. It is just us three warriors that have vanquished 118 souls that had dreams. I notice I am hungry, but I shrug of such life necessities. It is only a matter of minutes that these two must succumb to the bidding onslaught I am bringing down on them. I have built spreadsheet calculation that shows when each of these robots entered the conflict and the estimated costs they have sustained during this engagement.
It now calculates my damages next to theirs. I have only spent $364, still below the tablet $500 stated value. Faded memories of a process where I would have touched a button and owned the product outright flitter through my clouded thought processes, but I push them out. I must be strong and eviscerate these two.
00:00 hours: Exhausted. RES842 has been vanquished. Only that idiot Rocketman and I remain. Doesnt he realize he has already overspent the value of the product? Why does he continue to fight?
Is he a descendant from Deceptacon? Hasnt it sunk in that I am too stupid to surrender? I realize I must sleep. I pit my trusted BidBuddy against his BidBeast and pass out to evil dreams of monsters hurling huge coins at each other.
07:00 hours: I turn on my DealDash Dashboard to triage my damages and begin to devise my battle plan for the day. As I open it, I see the sweet sight of VICTORY. Rocketman13, that warrior that fought as if he were a robot finally was defeated at 00:58 hours after he had miraculously driven my auction bid winnings to $548.59. My war had driven me into debt $48.59 over the cash price of the prize, but I had vanquished those who would oppose me. Additional to the cost overrun, dont forget there were two grueling days in a vicious mle that put any pleasures of life on stand still.
I am not saying that DealDash is a scam, or that they have robot bidders that inflate auctions, but after going online and seeing how much time the winners seem to fight to uphold the reputation of the sight on various non-affiliated websites, I become a little more skeptical of the website integrity. Regardless, even if this site is run by Mother Theresa, bring your pads and helmet, you are in for a fight.