This service is a grand, massive, experiment!!! Me and my wife are further down the road than many or most of you that are complaining... and it's not getting any better several years down the road!!! It's the matching of the worst part of us in many ways and the not-matching of the best of us. Clashes, huge gigantic clashes of personality makeup, likes and dislikes!!! So what were the original attractions to each other... hummmm... I cannot recall. OH! I know what it was... it was Dr. Warren saying that any of their matches are highly compatible!!?? ^%@*&^&^^!!!
In a typical lab experiment.. (such as San Antonio, Texas my home town which was where his pilot program was started) one would match the rats together, put them in the same cage, let them mate... sniff each other and then monitor their lives for say maybe five years. But oh wait!!! These are people!!! (If I sound like a guinea pig it's because I feel like one!!!) Then if they don't get along you pull them from the cages and separate them. Oh, That is divorce!!! Computers can NEVER, EVER put the human touch to the processing. They cannot process history, experiences, & etc. etc. etc. Simply meeting someone and sharing your stories will do much better than eharmony ever can!!
Meeting and marrying thru eharmony has a double whammy to it.. your expectations are higher than if you'd met in person by yourself!! Because NOW YOU REALLY ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER BECAUSE YOU ARE COMPATIBLE PER AN EXPERT!!!! OR SO THE WEBSITE INDICATES. There is no species more complex than the humanoid!!! An EXPERT is nothing more than a dabbler!!! What I really believe in my heart is that this eharmony episode is an experience gone wrong on the scale of which cannot be described in any other way than to title it: Frankenstein's Wife!!!!!!!! Now I coined that this phrase and could write the script for the movie because I'm living the material!!!
So I hereby announce that this is copywrighted by me this day July 11, 2004. If there are any producers out there, I'm the material and it is bad, very bad!! Could make you a lot of money, too. I'm not kidding!! It leaves me gasping for the very air of sanity everyday. I'm very worried about the couples that are married and getting so thru eharmony... It is a bad platform and then with these sure and solid expectations that their marriage must work because they are the most compatible that one could humanly be.... it provides fodder for a doubleminded experience in where you keep plowing on even if things are not going right... "oh we don't need counseling because we are specially and specifically matched"!!! My partner just CHANGED that's the problem!!!! He/she is not what I ordered and got to know when we first met!!! Then we grunt, push, shove, argue, etc. etc. to change the person back to normal!!
What's new!!?? People change!!!! Change back to the normal they were before they were pretending and putting on their best face during dating!! Then, and this the triple whammy.. You met the persons best writing and question answering persona.. but are you physically attracted to them?? So you finally get up the gumption to trust one more time... you meet them in person (bass ackwards way of meeting them) and well you are kinda of attracted to them.. yes you think maybe it's something that can grow... hmmm well Dr. Warren says it's not the most important thing, so you go on and oh well it's a human and it is a warm body and you spent a lot of time talking on the phone before you meet them, so that continues.. but of course there is never enough time to really get to know each other on a platonic level if there is even a little attraction there because our emotions take over from there.
So now you end up with the worst of your own selection process because in the real world you wait until you meet a person that really makes your heart pound!!! But the eharmony system gets you to trust before that process happens and believe me and the scientists, the attraction pheromes do not transmit via computer or phone. Nor do they ever show up after several years of "togetherness" or ever. They either are or they are not, period!!! Eharmony's own research and your own proves this, read stories of the most happy couples in the newspaper.. strong attraction when they first met, never could forget about each other and were truly happy.. about 1% percent of population. Why do 99% not meet such a one.. because they are not picky enough, don't really believe it can happen to them or don't believe they deserve it AND they are Americans!! We Americans have no patience!!! This is I believe the number one cause of divorce!! We also listen to "expert" friends who are in mediocre relationships (99% of them) who say, "oh you are too picky, you'll never get the one you imagine" because they didn't and now they are the crab pulling you back down into the bucket!!
Listen to me, the unhappy, unhappyly married and you will get much further on your own than any expert can ever tell you!!!!
San Antonio, Texas