• Report: #28297

Complaint Review: Eharmony.com

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  • Submitted: Wed, August 28, 2002
  • Updated: Sat, June 21, 2008

  • Reported By:Beaumont TX
Eharmony.com
300 N. Lake Ave., Suite 1111 Pasadena, California U.S.A.

eharmony.com ripoff fake "money back guarantee" will not answer emails Pasadena California

*Author of original report: Looks like they improved their service.

*Consumer Comment: From 2004 to 2006

*Author of original report: Four years later....

*REBUTTAL Individual responds: ERIN YOU ARE FULL OF CRAP

*Consumer Comment: talking to a human ..eHarmony is so shallow and mercinary in its approach

*Author of original report: I just looked at their Website again

*Author of original report: That helps...

*Consumer Comment: No, I swear I exist

*Author of original report: Is Erin a real person?

*Consumer Comment: My Experince: The best move I ever made

*Author of original report: Faith healers

*Author of original report: Faith healers

*Author of original report: Faith healers

*Consumer Comment: Expensive fluff

*Consumer Comment: My experience... the service is very misleading.

*Consumer Comment: A response to your Rip-Off, To obtain a refund you must follow the procedure listed

*Consumer Suggestion: This is how you get their attention:

*Consumer Comment: just to suck you in and take your money

*Author of original report: Nice try, eHarmony. Speaking of ignoring the parts you don't like...

*Author of original report: Nice try, eHarmony. Speaking of ignoring the parts you don't like...

*Author of original report: Nice try, eHarmony. Speaking of ignoring the parts you don't like...

*Author of original report: Nice try, eHarmony. Speaking of ignoring the parts you don't like...

*UPDATE Employee: eHarmony is for real, and so is our guarantee!

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I do not expect much from online dating services, I know that a lot depends on the people using them. I don't pay for services, as a rule, because I don't expect much out of them. Eharmony looked like it would be different. They are different all right, about ten times as expensive as others and completely worthless.

They claim they have a great system for only matching people who are compatible, so if you get a match you know they are a good match for you. They also say that if you don't get at least one match per month of membership you can get your money back. Here's what they don't tell you:

People who have not payed for membership are still put in the database, but they are not allowed to communicate with anyone. There are a LOT of people who have set up a profile but have not payed for whatever reason. Sucker that I am, I paid. Here's the problem - THEY MATCH YOU WITH UNPAID ACCOUNTS, WHO WILL NEVER COMMUNICATE WITH YOU. Then they get out of giving you a refund, because technically you received a match.

I thought this might happen, so I asked them by email about what would happen in this case, before I paid. THEY IGNORED MY QUESTION. Since then I have sent several more emails about the problem of matches who never communicate - THEY IGNORE EVERY EMAIL THAT THEY DON'T LIKE. I know they are getting my email, because it gets an automated response, but never any more. I paid $100 for this crap, and now I not only don't get any REAL matches, I can't get my money back either because they sent me random unpaid accounts just to get out of their deal.

Kevin
Beaumont, Texas

This report was posted on Ripoff Report on 08/28/2002 12:48 PM and is a permanent record located here: http://www.ripoffreport.com/r/Eharmonycom/Pasadena-California-91101/eharmonycom-ripoff-fake-money-back-guarantee-will-not-answer-emails-Pasadena-California-28297. The posting time indicated is Arizona local time. Arizona does not observe daylight savings so the post time may be Mountain or Pacific depending on the time of year.

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0Author 22Consumer 1Employee/Owner
Updates & Rebuttals

#1 Author of original report

Looks like they improved their service.

AUTHOR: Kevin - (U.S.A.)

Looks like they finally got enough complaints or just figured out they were doing it wrong, because from what I can see now their system has greatly improved.

They still match you with non-paying accounts who can't communicate unless they pay a lot of money, but there are a whole lot more members now. Previously I received only four names in three months - this time I've received almost 20 matches in just two days. The odds of a match communicating have grown exponentially.

They have finally figured out that information is a good thing, so they let you share basic profile info and pictures before you even communicate.

I sent an email query about matches and received a reply in less than an hour.

It's still pretty expensive, but their services have improved to the point that it may be worth it now. I'm even considering buying a membership again.
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#2 Consumer Comment

From 2004 to 2006

AUTHOR: Mia - (U.S.A.)

Hate to tell you folks this but... eHarmony STILL does matches on non-paying accounts.

I tried it out myself. The religion section was quite biased. As a matter of fact, some of their questions... they're just too hard to answer.

And they STILL do matches on non-paying people. I wasn't about to give them my money, so the "answer the questions" section was as far as I got.

Bottom line folks, though the free dating sites may not be any better, they are FREE.
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#3 Author of original report

Four years later....

AUTHOR: Kevin - (U.S.A.)

I finally decided to write to the address given above, and that did get a reaction. Thank you, to whoever posted that address.
I just wanted everyone to know that after writing to Dr. Warren I did finally get my refund. They also managed to remove the address from the post above.
That was a lot of work to get back $99.95, and if it had just been for the money it may not have been worth it. But if I saved other people from going through the same trouble then I am content.
If you want to use their service, please do. It apparently works for a few people. Just know what you are getting into before you give them any money, and don't hold your breath.
Though I didn't get my happy ever after, at least I finally got my money back. Dr Warren is not an intentional con artist, the system just didn't work for me. Maybe it will work better now with more members, I would try it again if they reduced the price and didn't count non-paying accounts as matches. Send matches to those accounts to entice them to join, sure, but don't send a paying member a match unless you are going to let them communicate.
Anyway, thanks to EHarmony for finally paying attention. I'm through griping for a while.
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#4 REBUTTAL Individual responds

ERIN YOU ARE FULL OF CRAP

AUTHOR: Cynthia - (U.S.A.)

ERIN says"Well, long story short, he is now Mark and Savannah and we are getting married." Shouldn't in be we are now Mark and Erin? Or did you forget your name?? Nice try. I was on Eharmony- answered truthfully- got a statement back that EHarmony doesn't work for 1-5 people. I was that 1. Went back and registered 4 times with different profiles. 1. a kick me when i am down submissive Jesus loving woman-matches. 2. a very sexy French translator with big tits-matches. 3. a man with a nasty attitude that enjoyed killing deers and other woodland creatures-matches 4. a lazy college student (male) studying to be a doctor and couldn't spell-boom matches. You know nice people get shit on by sick people running EHarmony. Sorry Guys, I hope you find what you are looking for..there are no 29 dimension. You can answer that numerous times many ways. People are People always changing always growing. Just go about your business, live your life, find the things that interest you ( I took glassblowing and art and tennis). Live your life don't wait to live it with someone else. I know married couples that are just staying together because of money,kids and fear of dying alone. Thank about this happy couple-Scott and Lacy Peterson? Looks deceive so does EHarmony
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#5 Consumer Comment

talking to a human ..eHarmony is so shallow and mercinary in its approach

AUTHOR: Mary - (U.S.A.)

It figures that Eric finally got to talk to a human being.. when she wanted her money back.



The only thing eHarmony has going for it, which seems fleeting now, is the large amount of advertising which is designed to attract a large base of customers, which may increase peoples' chances for meeting a match. But the design of the system is less geared towards matching people as it is to take advantage of people who are lonely.



eHarmony is so shallow and mercinary in its approach they should change the slogan to something like "Find your next ex-husband/ex-wife on eHarmony".
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#6 Author of original report

I just looked at their Website again

AUTHOR: Kevin - (U.S.A.)

It has been a couple of years since I've been to their website, and they have updated. Now the questions I asked at the beginning and got no response to ARE clearly listed in the FAQ section. It wasn't when I joined, I guess those questions hadn't been asked frequently enough yet. But now you can find how they take your money by looking under these questions in the FAQ section of their website -



1. Do those responding to inquiries have to pay?

...we require that both individuals be paying members before communication can continue...



2. Are non-subscribers counted as matches?

Yes, non-subscribers are counted as matches.



3. How does your match guarantee work?

...3 Month Membership - Match Guarantee



During your 3-month membership we will provide you with as many matches as we can but guarantee that we will provide a minimum of 3 matches...



SO, to summarize -

#3 says they can keep their end of the bargain just by sending you three names.

#2 says those names may be of people who are not paying members.

#1 says if they send you names of non paying members, those people will not even be ABLE to communicate with you. But you are screwed anyway, because they kept their 'bargain' by sending you some worthless names.



Spend $100 on names if you want to, but the phone book is much cheaper and has a lot more names in it. What difference does it make if they are a "perfect match" if you never even get to talk to them? At least the phone book gives you their number and lets you talk to them.
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#7 Author of original report

That helps...

AUTHOR: Kevin - (U.S.A.)

Well Erin, I'm glad to hear that my money was not wasted. No wait, it WAS wasted. Somebody else's happy story doesn't get my $100 back.

But then, I don't know why I bother even venting here, because nothing will get your money back once EHarmony RIPS YOU OFF.

Even Erin didn't get her money back EVEN THOUGH SHE ASKED FOR IT. They just handed her a free lottery ticket, and she happened to win on that one. Some people do, I guess. So play the $100 lottery if you want to, just don't be surprised when you lose.
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#8 Consumer Comment

No, I swear I exist

AUTHOR: Erin - (U.S.A.)

It seems so strange that maybe I am the exception to the rule. But I swear, I talked to someone and actually met my soul mate on eHarmony. I guess perhaps we were the exception and not the rule.
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#9 Author of original report

Is Erin a real person?

AUTHOR: Kevin - (U.S.A.)

Somewhere there is someone named Erin who got to talk to a live person at EHarmony! Sounds like a fairy tale to me. Easy enough for employees of these sleazy businesses to pose as satisfied customers.

Believe what you want, it's your money.
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#10 Consumer Comment

My Experince: The best move I ever made

AUTHOR: Erin - (U.S.A.)

Ok. I know what its like to feel let down by eharmony. Shortly after joining, I got disgruntled for many of the reasons mentioned by Kevin. People weren't responding (probably because they didn't pay), matches were closing me after a few emails and I didn't know why,and service seemed sluggish sometimes. So, I asked for my money back.



I ended up in one of the aforementioned live chats with an eharmony staff member who asked why I wanted a refund. I explained my reasons and said that if I wanted perpetual rejection, I could find it on my own. I was offered an additional month FREE if I stuck with it. I felt vindicated enough and I agreed.



Not one week later I began chatting with Mark in NY. Well, long story short, he is now Mark and Savannah and we are getting married. I too felt impatient but I am so glad someone talked me into staying with eharmony. Without it, I never would have met someone who makes me this happy. So say what you will, but I thank God for eharmony and maybe, with a little patience, it'll work for you too.
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#11 Author of original report

Faith healers

AUTHOR: Kevin - (U.S.A.)

Send us your money, and we will send you at least one perfect match per month! Guaranteed!



Fine Print:

We won't let you see any actual details about your "perfect match," you get their name, age, and religion. You don't have to take it on blind faith that we sent you a perfect match, because you already take it on blind faith that we did lots of "research" that proves our matches are perfect.



Then, of course, you never actually get to communicate with anyone, because that would blow our cover.



But hey, we sent you a list of names, and you can't PROVE that they weren't perfect matches, so there's no need for any refund. Seven days? What a joke! If you get any correspondence from anybody, including the E-Harmony staff, within seven days, you must be paying somebody a bribe.

And after seven days, all they have to do is send you a list of names that could have been generated randomly. You'll never see them or talk to them, so you'll never know!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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#12 Author of original report

Faith healers

AUTHOR: Kevin - (U.S.A.)

Send us your money, and we will send you at least one perfect match per month! Guaranteed!



Fine Print:

We won't let you see any actual details about your "perfect match," you get their name, age, and religion. You don't have to take it on blind faith that we sent you a perfect match, because you already take it on blind faith that we did lots of "research" that proves our matches are perfect.



Then, of course, you never actually get to communicate with anyone, because that would blow our cover.



But hey, we sent you a list of names, and you can't PROVE that they weren't perfect matches, so there's no need for any refund. Seven days? What a joke! If you get any correspondence from anybody, including the E-Harmony staff, within seven days, you must be paying somebody a bribe.

And after seven days, all they have to do is send you a list of names that could have been generated randomly. You'll never see them or talk to them, so you'll never know!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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#13 Author of original report

Faith healers

AUTHOR: Kevin - (U.S.A.)

Send us your money, and we will send you at least one perfect match per month! Guaranteed!



Fine Print:

We won't let you see any actual details about your "perfect match," you get their name, age, and religion. You don't have to take it on blind faith that we sent you a perfect match, because you already take it on blind faith that we did lots of "research" that proves our matches are perfect.



Then, of course, you never actually get to communicate with anyone, because that would blow our cover.



But hey, we sent you a list of names, and you can't PROVE that they weren't perfect matches, so there's no need for any refund. Seven days? What a joke! If you get any correspondence from anybody, including the E-Harmony staff, within seven days, you must be paying somebody a bribe.

And after seven days, all they have to do is send you a list of names that could have been generated randomly. You'll never see them or talk to them, so you'll never know!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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#14 Consumer Comment

Expensive fluff

AUTHOR: Kevin - (U.S.A.)

Try it if you want to spend a lot of money with a big chance of getting nothing in return. I guess it's a lot like playing the lottery, only the tickets cost $100 each.



There are a lot of services out there that cost a whole lot less, and they actually LET YOU TALK TO YOUR MATCHES! Wow, what a novel idea! To think that communication might actually be important to a relationship! Yet EHarmony still wants to promote its years of study that prove that they have a better idea what you are looking for than you do.



Ever notice that the only positive assertions about this company come from the company itself? That people who have been unable to obtain the promised refund are told "Sorry, I don't know how that happened. Too bad, but we're keeping your money. Here, write to the President, maybe he cares."

Wow, thanks.
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#15 Consumer Comment

My experience... the service is very misleading.

AUTHOR: Mary - (U.S.A.)

My experience with eHarmony has been similar to what everyone has said. I agree the service is very misleading.



In addition to what's been said, there are some issues I have with the service:



* You don't get to see what someone looks like unless you've paid eHarmony a fee. Why they send you matches and then dangle what the person looks like as a carrot over your head to get paid seems sleazy to me. You can still communicate with the person without paying, but only in superficial, goofy ways by checking stupid queries from a small list. But you're never sure if those queries ever get received.



* The whole service is biased in certain ways. eHarmony has arbitrarily decided what age group people should be matched up with. If you're a woman and you want to date someone your own age, good luck. It's obvious the system was designed by an old man who believes that men should be ten years older than women in relationships.



* The matches I receieved were so bland that it was almost impossible to know anything about the person. The canned responses left a lot to be desired.



* The service has a heavy right-wing/conservative religious slant to it. If you are liberal-minded in any area, you'll have a hard time filling out the personality profile accurately. There are lots of questions about religion and spirtuality, and if you aren't into organized religion, you can't really make this clearly known, which misleads a lot of other people online who might not be happy with that, or others who want to find someone who isn't a rabid fundamentalist.



* The way the system is designed, it really doesn't allow for much personalization or someones character, sense of humor or communication skills to be featured. Now maybe all the fundy Christians that use the site have no personality and balk at the premise of writing an essay about themselves, but this does a disservice to people who are individuals and want to put into their profile details that aren't satisfied with shallow multiple-choice answers.



* If you have no personality and just want to get married, and like they say in the commercials, "want to order a husband" like you would a burger, then use this system. You won't find much about about the person until far into the process, which is very sheltered, impersonal and IMO, a bit clinical and inhumane.



The "personality profile" doesn't do a good job of giving you ANY indication of what type of person you're dealing with, so you're taking your chances. If you're looking for more substance in examining people before you make contact with them, other sites such as match.com, Yahoo, Lavalife and Matchmaker are much better choices, and give you ways to communicate with people before deciding if you want to pay.



Many of these other sites only require on of the people to be a paid member so you can create a profile and meet someone without having paid a dime as long as one of you is a member. With eHarmony, you take a big, expensive chance and it's like having the friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend describe a blind date to you through a peep hole in the wall that is their very formal, impersonal matching system.
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#16 Consumer Comment

A response to your Rip-Off, To obtain a refund you must follow the procedure listed

AUTHOR: Patricia - (U.S.A.)

I recently signed on with E-Harmony. I read all their disclaimers first and paid close attention to their refund policy. After answering the questionnaire (lengthy), I elected not to pay for the service. To my surprise, I received many prospective responses. I then decided to begin communication steps with some of the responders. I then paid for the service (as written in their data). Later, I decided I no longer wished to be involved in this "experiment" and asked for a refund. It was promptly done. Their response page says no one will answer an email in you post it in the comment section. To obtain a refund you must follow the procedure listed in "my account".
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#17 Consumer Suggestion

This is how you get their attention:

AUTHOR: Hugh G Rekshun - (U.S.A.)

You write to the President, Neil Clark Warren at his HOME ADDRESS at (((REDACTED, the owner can be reached at thier business or at GregSteiner@eharmony.com))). THAT will do it, I PROMISE!
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#18 Consumer Comment

just to suck you in and take your money

AUTHOR: Cari - (U.S.A.)

I joined eharmony.com thinking that they had a sincere advertisement. This is just to suck you in and take your money. After filling out their questionnaire that took forever I received 3 matches. Each of these matches was 10 to 15 years older than I am. Each of these matches lived in states that where at least 2,000 miles from me. The matches where horrid.



I spent 3 weeks trying to get back my money. My emails where answered with computer generated emails. When I finally said I was going to contact the Better Business Bureau, I got a real person and a real refund.



I know the matches are only as good as the database. But if you like younger matches you can't control them.



Be aware that you will only get what they want you to get.
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#19 Author of original report

Nice try, eHarmony. Speaking of ignoring the parts you don't like...

AUTHOR: Kevin - (U.S.A.)

Thank you for your rebuttal, but it seems to have the same tone as the few email responses I got from this company.



The things you call obvious I obviously already knew, since I went through the process of signing up, and since I did mention those things.



Allow me to copy and paste the part that you continue to ignore:



THEY MATCH YOU WITH UNPAID ACCOUNTS, WHO WILL NEVER COMMUNICATE WITH YOU. Then they get out of giving you a refund, because technically you received a match.



The problem is not that they send matches to unpaid accounts, the problem is that they CHARGE paying customers for getting matches that will never respond.



How many full refunds have ever been handed out by eHarmony?



I don't know, but my guess would be none, because all they have to do is throw a few "matches" your way that will never communicate with you, and they just got out of their "guarantee" with no effort at all.
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#20 Author of original report

Nice try, eHarmony. Speaking of ignoring the parts you don't like...

AUTHOR: Kevin - (U.S.A.)

Thank you for your rebuttal, but it seems to have the same tone as the few email responses I got from this company.



The things you call obvious I obviously already knew, since I went through the process of signing up, and since I did mention those things.



Allow me to copy and paste the part that you continue to ignore:



THEY MATCH YOU WITH UNPAID ACCOUNTS, WHO WILL NEVER COMMUNICATE WITH YOU. Then they get out of giving you a refund, because technically you received a match.



The problem is not that they send matches to unpaid accounts, the problem is that they CHARGE paying customers for getting matches that will never respond.



How many full refunds have ever been handed out by eHarmony?



I don't know, but my guess would be none, because all they have to do is throw a few "matches" your way that will never communicate with you, and they just got out of their "guarantee" with no effort at all.
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#21 Author of original report

Nice try, eHarmony. Speaking of ignoring the parts you don't like...

AUTHOR: Kevin - (U.S.A.)

Thank you for your rebuttal, but it seems to have the same tone as the few email responses I got from this company.



The things you call obvious I obviously already knew, since I went through the process of signing up, and since I did mention those things.



Allow me to copy and paste the part that you continue to ignore:



THEY MATCH YOU WITH UNPAID ACCOUNTS, WHO WILL NEVER COMMUNICATE WITH YOU. Then they get out of giving you a refund, because technically you received a match.



The problem is not that they send matches to unpaid accounts, the problem is that they CHARGE paying customers for getting matches that will never respond.



How many full refunds have ever been handed out by eHarmony?



I don't know, but my guess would be none, because all they have to do is throw a few "matches" your way that will never communicate with you, and they just got out of their "guarantee" with no effort at all.
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#22 Author of original report

Nice try, eHarmony. Speaking of ignoring the parts you don't like...

AUTHOR: Kevin - (U.S.A.)

Thank you for your rebuttal, but it seems to have the same tone as the few email responses I got from this company.



The things you call obvious I obviously already knew, since I went through the process of signing up, and since I did mention those things.



Allow me to copy and paste the part that you continue to ignore:



THEY MATCH YOU WITH UNPAID ACCOUNTS, WHO WILL NEVER COMMUNICATE WITH YOU. Then they get out of giving you a refund, because technically you received a match.



The problem is not that they send matches to unpaid accounts, the problem is that they CHARGE paying customers for getting matches that will never respond.



How many full refunds have ever been handed out by eHarmony?



I don't know, but my guess would be none, because all they have to do is throw a few "matches" your way that will never communicate with you, and they just got out of their "guarantee" with no effort at all.
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#23 UPDATE Employee

eHarmony is for real, and so is our guarantee!

AUTHOR: Steve Carter - (U.S.A.)

First off, kudos to Ripoffreport.com. I was shown this website for the first time today and wow. THIS is exactly the kind of thing that the web SHOULD be used for: Compiling and distributing information that empowers people who DON'T have control over the media. Very cool. Keep up the great work!



Of course, the flip side to this powerful ability to publish and distribute information and views from people "on the street" is being careful to verify the accuracy of the information being shared. Unfortunately, this takes hard work, as it means spending hours verifying reports. Equally unfortunately, from my perspective, no effort apparently was made to verify the complaints posted regarding my company, eHarmony.com.



The eHarmony.com matching system is real. It was predicated on Dr. Warren's 30+ year career as a clinical psychologist (and his Ph.D. is from The University of Chicago, not some degree mill like a lot of other supposed "experts" in this area!) and research, culminating in a 2.5 year research project looking at several thousand married couples that specifically resulted in our matching models. If this research had turned out negative (i.e., if we had not been ABLE to create statistically significant and reliable models to predict success in married relatinoships) eHarmony would NEVER HAVE EXISTED! We weren't a business that created a technology. eHarmony is a realization of Dr. Warren's goal to have a positive impact on the lamentable state of marriage in America today. If you want to understand that better, I recommend you read one of his seven books, like "Finding the Love of Your Life" or "The Rythmn of Love," available at Amazon.com or bookstores anywhere.



Unfortunately, due to the proprietary value of the models to eHarmony as a business, we haven't been able to publish any of our research findings in refereed journals yet, but you can see an brief overview of a follow-up study that we did last year surveying married couples who met via eHarmony and married couples who met OUTSIDE of eHarmony on our site at http://www.eharmony.com/core/eharmony?cmd=research.



In regards to the other, more specific customer complaints made by the author: I would like everyone to have a great experience using eHarmony. It distresses me that the author didn't. I don't know where communication between our customer care team and the author of this complaint broke down, but given the opportunity, we try to do a lot of hand-holding with the people who get confused about how our system works. That way, everything that I'm saying here would have been explained further to him, and hopefully he would have ultimately received the kind of matches and value that eHarmony is really and truthfully the only website even TRYING to generate (i.e,. matches with a high degree of compatibility in regards to long-term relationship success).



That being said, and hopefully without sounding cold and uncaring, I would rebut the vague charge of "things they don't tell you" by pointing out that our Tour (accessible from our home page, http://www.eharmony.com/core/eharmony?cmd=tour) makes it abundantly clear that subscription is required before communication with matches can take place. In addition, since people are not required to subscribe UNTIL a match or matches have been found for them, and they attempt to communicate with a match, I would further suggest that it should be OBVIOUS that NON-SUBSCRIBERS RECEIVE MATCHES.



In regards to our eHarmony's customer support, I suggest that any research on your part would have quickly shown that our team, which consists of about 30 of the nicest and most amazingly talented and intelligent people that I would ever hope to get on the other end of a phone or email, answer every email that we receive in a timely fashion. We also provide customer support via live-chat for our subscribers.



So, that's my rebuttal! Sorry it's so long-winded. If you would like to research any of this, I suggest you register and complete the eHarmony Relationship Questionnaire. Then purchase a one-month membership, contact customer support with an imaginary problem, and then ask for a refund within 7 days. You have my direct email if you have any other questions.



Sincerely,



Director of Product Development

eHarmony.com
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