I have an 8 year old son whom I love dearly. My son has autism, which his father, Ronald E. Tatum is aware of. As our son started to develop I noticed some milestones he was not getting to. It was not until I moved to the state of Texas when my son was properly diagnosed with autism.
His father and I, although we were no longer together, I wanted our son to have both civil minded parents in his life, to offer love and support. My son's father has always had a hard time accepting the fact that our son had autism. Instead of doing additional research, he left that up to me. I would think when your child is diagnosed with something that a parent would take some interest to seek additional information as well as resources. His father is responsible for his health care expenses as well as half of any additional medical expenses. My son's father has yet to volunteer to come to any doctor appointments to see his son's progress or what needs to worked on, has only attended one school meeting out of 8 years, etc. [continued below]....
During the summer of 2011, my son went to stay with his father one weekend and when he was dropped off, his father mentioned to me that he had to spank our son because he had written on the wall and was talking back. Mind you at the time our son was only 8 years old. When I got my son inside to give him a bath I noticed red bruises from his shoulders, back, thighs and back side. I called him immediately about the bruises he left on our son. His answer was "Well you know he is light skinned and those marks show up easy on him." Those marks were on my son for about a month, which is considered child abuse.
I contacted CPS here in Texas and filed a report, I informed his father that our son would no longer be able to stay in his home overnight and he could visit his son at my home or I would meet up with him for an outing with his son to supervise. Needless to say he was not happy with my arrangement. I was informed by him that if he could not see his son the way he wanted that he was not going to bother and just send in a check.
It has been almost a year, where I have had to deal with the aftermath of that spanking, my son's behavior became aggressive at school, his grades were suffering and his behavior at home was becoming very angry. I knew it was from what happened with him and his dad. I took my son t a therapist for help and meet with his school to try to get his behavior to be less aggressive.
It has taken months for my son's behavior to get back to where it used to be. His father has not bothered to call to check on him, let alone even apologize to his son for what he did.
During my son's Spring break of 2012, I took him to the zoo, which is something his father and he used to do about every weekend. When we left the zoo, my son asked me "Mommy why is daddy so angry? You and Granddaddy have to go over and talk to him." Mind you this has almost been a year and this is the last impression my son has of his father. I asked if he wanted to speak to his dad and he said yes. I texted his dad letting him know that his son wanted to talk to him. He called and the talk between him and his son was about 30 seconds. My son asked him "Daddy why did you spank me? Why are you so mad?" My heart sunk in my stomach.
You would think that his father would have reached out more, instead he recently texted me a photo of his new son the day before Easter. I took that as he is replacing his oldest son with his youngest one.
My son still struggles with why his dad did what he did as well as why did he just disappear out of my life?
I have been going through child support to get an increase fro months since his payment monthly is less than $150.00 monthly. My son has medical needs and now lacks his father due to his father's own ignorance.
I wish I could tell my son that he is a big brother, but that is not my responsibility. His father had 8-9 months to prepare his son for this news, but he did not. Children with autism need to have things explained or prepare them since they do not adjust to sudden change well.
I can only pray that the mother of his new son takes some advice from me. Sooner or later he will wear you thin, he will use everything he can to get what he wants, he will leave your child just as he did mine. I open the door to communicate with her on a mature level of us both being mothers, so both our of sons can have a relationship as brothers, but his father is not welcomed to take part. He has had his chance to make things right with his son and it has been almost a year, no phone calls, no visits, no cards for holidays or birthdays, nothing!
Ronald Emell Tatum is just a sperm donor who hustles women.