Hi folks! I gather you're here to find out about Patrik Simpsonland. it's a place where you will be told plenty of things about how successful you're going to be, and off-handedly some things will be mentioned about how much you'll have to pay for pictures, shabbily-done makeup, trips to Mexico for photo shoots ("because the light is soo god there") and trips to NY or Florida where "All the agents are there at once."
You'll hear stories about Alexa and maybe one or two other people who had "success" in foriegn countries and got to do print ads. Nobody mentions that at best these people break even.
hen you'll be told that you can raise the money by getting people to donate to your cause since the MTA convention is a not for profit organization. You can go out and raise money from everyone and once you come up with the thousands of dollars it costs to stay in the Waldorf Astoria or in Florida, and pay for the pictures in Mexico, you're on your way to a big fat nothing.
I had the fortune of becoming close with Patrick's boyfriend of several years around the time that they broke up a handful of years ago. His boyfriend over time revealed to me what Patrick was doing with all these people who he would get signed at "agencies" in New York. Funny how when we went, everyone seemed to get an offer from the same place.
His boyfriend was supposed to be downstairs in the bar but he came upstairs and walked into a conversation that Patrick was having with these "agency" owners. The schpeel was this: they sign everyone to their "agency" and put them in "model housing" in New Jersey.
This means, apartments where the rent is actually way cheap, but they charge the "models" more money. Then Patrick and the agency owners would split this extra money 50/50. The "models" in return would get to pound the pavement doing auditions wherever they could find them, all day every day. Then the "agency" would get a cut.
In addition, the "models" would be told that they had to buy new Zed cards now that they were signed with this new agency in new York. Money from this income would also be split 50/50 with Patrick.
So basically folks, if you do your research on what an agency does, it's not this. They are supposed to take you in and have so much faith in their ability to get you work that they pay for the pictures of you themselves. Then they go out and pound the pavement for you to get auditions (other than OPEN CALLS where they invite everyone and their mothers) and then they take a portion of what you get paid when you work. They don't make money off your rent money. They don't charge you for zed cards. They don't charge you for makeup. They don't charge you to go to Mexico to get a photo shoot done because "the light is better."
Anyone who confronts Patrick better be ready for hearing an earful of made-up-on-the-spot highhorse Grade A B.S. Like, "I'm providing a service to those ugly girls who need pretty pictures taken of them to improve their self esteem." Or whatnot.
In New York, they require that everyone show up on weekends to rehearse the commercials that they are doing in a competition with a bunch of other people who are paying to compete from around the country. Commercials, radio spot, runway, best legs competition, singing, monologue, take your pick, you can pay to compete in whatever you want.
I went in 1999 and I won 1st place for best voiceover in a radio spot, 2nd place for best vocal performance, and 2nd place for my monologue. I walked around and showed my pictures to all the agents who were there. I was told by many people that they would use me if I lived in NY and to contact them when I decided to move there.
Unlike the other people, I kept my business cards when I did the walk-through. Everyone else was told to hand in their business cards and Patrick would put them in an envelope for each person, throw it in their file, so that none of the people who went were empowered to contact these people on their own, without him. In fact with many people he just would let it sit there and not act on it, because really, his money was made from scamming potential models, not from actively trying to help them out.
When his boyfriend tried to leave him, he came over to take some of his things and Patrick freaked out like the psychopath he is. He called the cops and the cops couldn't do anything about it, so they just said, how bout you come back tomorrow with a Uhaul? So he did.
By the time we came back the next morning, Patrick had, in the middle of the night, emptied out everything. Sounds exactly like the story of what he did in his newer house in Mesa when he couldn't pay his bills! Only he left behind a few things of his exboyfriends - mismatching shoes - one shoe here, another one there. He took all of his exboyfriends family heirlooms, everything.
Well Patrick had a signed document with his ex, which was notarized and said that everything they owned belonged to each of them equally, 50/50. So we had the Uhaul ... His ex decided to take the Uhaul to the agency and clean out the entire agency in the middle of the night. This was hysterical. Patrick showed up to "work" (scamming work) the next day to find the place was ransacked. He called the cops but they couldn't do anything about it because his ex faxed them his paperwork showing that he owned 50% of everything. This is what had to be done in order to negotiate his heirlooms back from Patrick.
Patrick is a huge drama queen if there ever was one. He's also manipulative. He also routinely buys pot at his office, pays for it with a check, writes in false things in the memo section, and then writes of those expenses in his taxes!
So you may be thinking: Why did his ex want to leave? He had to have been crazy to be with him, too. Right?
Well his ex had HIV and this all happened just after the time that the cocktail pills came out for people with HIV. If you're unfamiliar, the cocktail pills brought people back to life who were on the brink of death. That's what state his ex was in, deteriorating, for awhile, when he came back to life with these new cocktail pills.
When his ex bounced back, he began to see that things were happening which he hadn't been aware of before. For instance, that Patrick was using his social security number to do questionable things, since he had run out of chances to use his own due to credit issues. That Patrick had been forging his signature. And all sorts of other colorful things that a conman will do when he thinks the person is going to die. His ex was also "mysteriously" beaten up by a man with a baseball bat who randomly attacked him while in his rental car on vacation with Patrick in a tropical place out of the country. This was coincidentally after Patrick found out he had a life insurance policy. I even saw the newspaper clipping on the incident.
Why did it take so long for him to leave? Patrick used to take his medication from him, call his doctor and tell him that he was on drugs (Patrick was always really fond of the "on drugs" element of fake stories) and that he needed to be in complete control of the prescriptions. He'd manage to get the prescriptions and then hold them hostage from his ex until his ex returned for them.
Patrick also loves to play the victim.
He's a real whiner. He'll whine that someone didn't pay him what they were supposed to, and he always has to deal with them, when they call him and write him letters cussing at him for reporting them to credit over scam money that they "owe" him. He reported me to credit for not payin the final $42 or so of a $6,000+ bill that I covered and had been told to forget about the piddly remaining amount. He waited a year before reporting it to credit because he was all whiny and bent out of shape that I did nothing to stop his ex from leaving him.
However, his ex gave me my file, all the pictures, negatives, and business cards that were in it.
And yes, he does have a daughter, and an ex wife. He's a real creep in so many ways. I recently met someone who used to do makeup for his place. She said that he paid crappily, never on time, and she finally just started telling him no because she couldn't live with herself knowing she was working for such a scam artist.
He's beyond vindictive - he's an A type personality with a serious ego issue that stems from incredible insecurities. In New York, he was unhappy that his boyfriend (who wasn't his ex yet) went out clubbing with me all night and started berating him. I hollered at him to shut up and stop being that way and just by raising my voice, it made him cower in the corner on the floor like some schitzo in a psycho ward. I kid you not. He's a tall man but he has issues with women like I've never seen.
Maybe a nun did something to him to make him this way. Honestly it's the strangest thing I'd ever seen. He was cowering with his hands over his head repeating, "Don't hurt me, don't hurt me." So this big tall jerk who argues all sorts of rhetorical garbage in a loud voice at you will totally fall to pieces if you start yelling at him with a stern voice.
In New York, he also got completely wasted one night in the hotel. I've never seen anyone so drunk and crazy in all my life. He was wandering the hallways and bumping into walls and doorways and crying and being a general disaster who looked like he was about to pass out. I had to help some people from makeup carry him back to his room, despite his belligerent yelling and cursing.
Well when the incident happened that one morning where he cowered all afraid in the corner, his ex and I decided we were going to just leave. Not just the hotel, but New york altogether. My boyfriend, he, and I all just got in a cab and went to the airport to go home.
By the time I got home, I found out from my mom that Patrick had called my dad's office and yelled at the receptionist that my dad's daughter was on drugs, and was violent and made a scene and got kicked out of the Waldorf Astoria. He had tried to pull that same thing on my mom, but of course when my mom answered the phone she told him in no uncertain terms to ever call her again and think that he can speak that way about her daughter, that he's a liar and disgusting and stupid for thinking that she would listen to him over her own daughter. Then we also found out that he called my boyfriend's parents to tell them he was on drugs and blah blah blah ...
So ask yourself folks. Would you like to be charged an arm and a leg to get some stupid pictures that you could have a college photography student take for you at cost? (At the time I was there, Patrick was charging $27 per print. His ex informed me that he paid $3 per print at the developer's place. Are you beginning to see why the negatives of his in people's files are so precious to him?)
Would you like to spend a hunk of cash to get makeup done by Joe and Jane Shmo, who have credentials because Patrick says that they are "Professionals" (Read the BBB report on him - he will actually spell the word with a Capital P every time, to punctuate his sense of the word's validity, it's very cute, albiet entirely tacky and transparent)?
Would you like to spend money to have him take pictures of you in Mexico, or one of his receptionist's boyfriends who likes cameras - oh wait, I mean another "Professional" photographer?
Would you like to pay extra money for your zed cards that you should also be obtaining for free?
Would you like to be obliged to sit through a bunch of "classes" with him on weekends, where you get to listen to him say, "Bigger, bigger, more body language, more emphasis on that word" while everyone in the universe rehearses fake commercials for Cadillacs?
Would you like to pay a lot more money for a place to live in "Model Housing" than what it really costs so he can make money off your rent, while you run around to open call auditions all day, with the rest of New York's waitresses and busboys who work all night so they can afford to live there and audition for jobs all day long?
Would you like to do business with someone who will put a ding on your credit over a few bucks, trying to make you come back and pay him even years later so you can get a better interest rate on your house, and call everyone you know to make up stories about you if he's in a bad mood about you?
Well folks, if you'd like to even make eye contact with this guy after reading my story and the other guy's, have fun. He's a real blast.
Patrick's Favorite Person