Here is the email I had to send to my instructor because I couldn't complete my homework this weekend. I am working on my Master's in Cybersecurity.
It is my worst nightmare!
My daughter's father has called CPS on me for the 3rd time in less than a year. The investigator stood outside my door for 15 minutes while my daughter was throwing a major fit because her friend that had just spent the night wasn't going to be able to come back over. She was pushing me and pushing me, (literally) and I cursed at her. She still wouldn't stop pulling on me and I told her if she didn't start obeying and stop breaking her boundaries I was going to have to send her back to the mental hospital (anger management from PTSD). That (according to the investigator) is when she knocked on the door.
She came in barrels blazing and threatened to take my daughter away from me and only allow me supervised visits for the next 3 to 6 months. A snapshot of our lives (and you both know what we have been through) and I have lost my daughter. I could truly lose custody of her when my ex gets out or even through this modification hearing that will probably happen in January.
Because the mental hospital wouldn't take her, no cause (duh), the investigator is allowing a friend of mine from church (her daughter was the one who spent the night) to keep her until Monday when who knows what will happen.
I forged a good relationship with the first investigator that came out. I am going to call her on Monday. This new woman is very sneaky, and that is putting it politely and she is a liar as well. That is what has me so scared. How can you fight a lying Child Protective Service Investigator? Can you tell me one parent who hasn't yelled at their child? Can you tell me one parent who hasn't said a cuss word? (It's not like I allow her to do it; she gets her mouth washed out with soap...really!). And just for that she threatens to take her away from me? She was even bullying the psychiatrist at the hospital and her stories and "plans" keep changing and my daughter tells me one thing and she is telling me another.
I know my daughter isn't lying because it is during "conversation" and she admits to some and denies other statements, yet they all contradict what this woman is telling me. Can you believe when my daughter was in the mental hospital a couple of weeks ago, after I told this woman that she was just diagnosed with PTSD due to the surfacing of repressed memories of abuse by her father, that she told my daughter she was going to go talk to her dad? After 2 phones calls to her and 2 to her supervisor, she finally called me back and I jumped down her throat for being reckless and endangering my daughter's fragile psyche...she said she never said that to my daughter, but I know she did.
How am I going to survive all of this? I thought the last 3 years were bad, but these last 3 months have been way worse. I can't call my aunt, who is my Christian mentor, because she is suffering from breast cancer (had lumpectomy in Sept.) and she cannot handle ANY stress. She has always been the one person in my life that I could tell anything and she always had the right thing to say or the right prayer to pray. I am lost without her too.
I miss my baby.
Let me give you some more details.
She first called me when I was going to apply for the protective order. I told her my daughter was in the mental hospital and told her about the PTSD and the abuse. I asked if we could delay the interview to give my daughter time to come home and for me to prepare her for it. She said she couldn't give much time. I then asked if we could have 2 days and then I would bring her to her office for an interview. (I am trying to keep our home a "safe zone"). She said that would be fine. She told me she was going to "call" the hospital and make sure my daughter was getting good medical care. I am not an idiot, I knew she was going to go interview her and that was fine with me; I don't have anything to hide and again, the interview was taking place outside the house, so I was really good with it, even though she lied to me.
My daughter later told me that during the interview she told my daughter she was going to talk to her father, who is in prison. That is when I first got angry and when I finally spoke with her I asked her how she could possibly tell my daughter that she was going to talk with her father when he is the source of her PTSD and anxiety? She claims she never told that to my daughter and that is lie #2. She also told my daughter that she "met" with me that morning; we only spoke on the phone. Not a huge lie, but she is developing a pattern here. She then calls me last week and says she has to come to the house to take pictures. I asked her if I could have a few days because I wanted to pick up because with me being so sick and taking care of my daughter and school, the house was messy. "Sure, no problem". We set it for noon on Friday.
When I found out my mother was going to visit my brother in Houston for Thanksgiving, leaving Friday, I called and asked if we could make it at 2 pm because I knew my mother wasn't going to get up and go at 8:30 am like she was saying and I wanted to make sure my mother was gone before she came because of all of the stress and anxiety that my mother is under. "No problem". Well, when Friday came, my mother was still in bed at 10:30 am and hadn't packed her suitcase, I called and asked if we could do it on Saturday at 12:30 pm. My exact words to her were, "Do I know my mother or what? She still hasn't packed her suitcase. Are you still on call this weekend? Could we reschedule for tomorrow at 12:30 pm?". "Sure, no problem".
So, you know what happens when she gets here at 12:30 pm? She tells me that she has been standing at my door listening for 15 minutes while I am fighting off my daughter and trying to pick up more from the sleepover. Yes, I got frustrated when she was blocking the hallway and when she moved, I walked down the hall and yelled, "I can't f'ing believe this". She tells me she is surprised my neighbors haven't called CPS on me; I told her it doesn't happen that often. Doesn't she think that CPS is intimidating, especially to a 9 year old girl, who is already having a behavioral meltdown? After going off on me about that, she then in a bizarre way, goes off on me, asking me why I didn't call her yesterday before my mother left so she could come over and interview her. (Huh?). I re-explained that I had told her from the beginning that I didn't want my mother here because she couldn't handle the stress and had planned to tell her when she came back. She then told me, well I have to interview her. I told her, you never told me that. She said, "Yes I did; she lives here). I then replied back, you never told me you needed to interview my mother. (What she had actually told me was she just needed to come over and take a few pictures to show that they were there and it wouldn't take much time.) Then she asks me if I have something to hide. Uh, no.
She first threatened me in front of my daughter that my daughter was going to have to go somewhere and I could only have supervised visits. My daughter fell apart and so did I. Why do these people talk like this in front of the children? Both of my parents are out of town and I asked if she could go to my neighbors. I called my neighbor and she needed to talk to her husband. That was when she told me it would be for 3 to 6 months. My neighbors are getting up in years and couldn't, not that I would even ask, take my daughter for that long of a time. Then "Amber" asked me if I was just threatening my daughter with taking her back to the mental hospital. I told her no, I wouldn't threaten my daughter with such a thing. I told her I would have to take her back if her behavior started to disintegrate and she couldn't control her behavior.
Before that, Amber has said she could stay with my friend from church, but when she asked me that, then her "plan" changed to admitting my daughter into the mental hospital, once again traumatizing my daughter. We couldn't get a hold of admissions and I had left a voice mail. She expected me to follow her way across town, 25-30 minutes, since we couldn't get anyone on the phone. Praise God the hospital called me back as I was loading the car. I thought it was an admissions clerk I was talking to (found out later it was actually the doctor on call) and he kept asking me what the emergency was and I told him my daughter was behaving aggressively and to be honest, I couldn't think of any other reason why my daughter should go. When I had told my daughter I was going to have to put her back in the hospital, it wasn't for acute treatment, but for partial-care, where she would go from 8-5pm, for all types of therapy. I told the doctor that CPS was here and please talk to her. I heard her bullying the doctor. I told her I needed to go back in and pack my daughter's medicine.
The next thing I know, they are at the front door and my daughter tells me, "I get to stay at Connie's". Again, this is after Amber had told me that bipolars and PTSD victims can snap at any time and she couldn't put my friend's family at risk (First she had said yes, then no, the mental hospital and then yes to my friends). I told her my daughter is an angel for everyone expect me and my mother (my daughter has stated before that she behaves this way with us because she is not scared of us). So now, there is no "plan" for Monday. Amber will get back with me. Do you see how she bounced around with her "plans" and from what I understand, my daughter can come home on Monday. Oh and if my daughter did the 2-week inpatient program at the hospital, then she could come home, not the 3-6 month deal. My head is spinning! I went to bed last night at 9 pm, unheard of for me!!! I was so mentally and emotionally exhausted, my computer woke me up and I didn't get up until 10:30 am this morning, with my eyes all swollen. I slept with her blanket.
You know me. Before yesterday, I was incapable of hate. I don't even hate my ex. But I hate this woman and prayed last night for forgiveness, because I do hate this woman. I think she is dangerous and on some kind of power trip. Her "plan" went from 3-6 months to 3 days. Oh, I forgot these lies. She told me my daughter said that she and I fight like this all the time, my daughter and my mom fight like this all the time and me and my mom fight this all the time. I told her that wasn't true. Later I told my daughter what Amber said and my daughter told me again, "She's lying". "I told her, 'not often'". Then when I told my daughter that my daughter told me that she said my mom always thinks she is lying, my daughter said, "Yes, I told her that". So you can see how I know that my daughter is not lying to me.
This woman scares me. When she was leaving, she told my daughter and I to be nice and love one another while I took her to my friend's and for my daughter to take a break and to give me a break. I found out today that Amber never even called my friend to check to see whether or not I took her there. She never called the first CPS investigator that I gave as a reference because she does know what my daughter and I have been through and she tells me I can call her anytime.
When I told her the story above, she kept saying, "what?, what?, what? I want to know why she was standing outside your door for 15 minutes instead of knocking." Her advice to me was to go to the Program director and give them all of my information and have the psychiatrist she bullied write a letter as well. She went from taking her away from me for 3-6 months, to 2 weeks in the mental hospital, to 2 days at my friend's house, without so much as giving me the Parent's Hand Guide or a Safety Plan for my daughter staying at my friend's. She told me if it appeared that the Program Director wasn't doing anything to file an OCA report. My CPS "friend" also told me that having my daughter admitted to mental hospital was a way to close the case faster and asked me on what grounds was she having her committed and I told her she told the doctor that it was a voluntary parental admission.
I am angry for another reason. While I am being harassed by my ex and CPS is all over me, there are 1000s of kids out there who could really use their stressed out workers and limited resources.
Investigator's name: Amber Little