D. Bernotas Ph.D. psychologist confuses her issues with her clients, very bad boundaries! Sappington Missouri

I saw Toni Bernatos, PhD in 1993 in Edina, MN to help with conflicts with my preteen daughter--the normal mom-daughter stuff. She divulged, during our sessions during the summer of 1993, that she had ongoing deep and unresolved issues with her own mother. This alone is not a problem. But Dr. Bernatos displayed very poor judgment caused by her unresolved issues, as you will see in this complaint.

During our sessions, I told her I used alternative medicine to help with chronic and disabling health conditions. She made disparaging and disrespectful remarks about my health care choices during our sessions. This is inappropriate for a therapist to do, to disrespect a client's choices in areas that do not relate to the therapy issue.

Dr. Bernatos and I were able to make no progress in dealing with conflicts with my preteen daughter, so after five or so sessions, I discontinued treatment with her.

She offered to refer me to another psychologist, but I already did not trust her and refused the referral offer.
Then, in January, 1994, my estranged husband contacted Dr. Bernatos to testify against me in our divorce/custody battle. Dr. Bernatos submitted a statement under my estranged husband's request for an order for protection against me.

In her statement she stated that she believed I could be a danger to my children or to their father. Now in her statement, she admitted she had NEVER heard me threaten my husband or my children. She also admitted that she had never heard me talk about plans to cause any harm to my husband or my children.

This is important, because under Minnesota law, a psychologist may not break confidentiality with a patient unless the psychologist has heard direct threats, such as, "I am going to kill my husband and here's how I'm going to do it."

And for a psychologist to take an adversarial position toward a former client is also a very bad thing to do.
Because of Dr. Bernatos' statement, the temporary order for protection was granted, I was removed from my home, separated from my children and the estrangement from my children continues to this day. All of this because Dr. Bernatos has deep and unresolved issues with her own mother and could not separate her issues with her mother from another mother's difficulties with her children.
As a Doctor of Psychology, Dr. Bernatos should have known that she was not a good therapist to work with me. She divulged, during our sessions, that she was working her second job (including working with me) because she had set up a private psychology practice that had failed. Her evening work, including working with me, was to help pay off the debts she incurred in her failed business.

Which indicates to me that she was desperate for clients and took on clients she should have known (since she has a PhD in psychology) that she could not serve.
In addition, she appeared at the hearing for the permanen order for protection to testify against me. The judge, in reading Dr. Bernatos' statement against me, said the case "smacked of an ambush against a mother with a stubborn daughter", according to a newspaper reporter who was doing an article about the difficulties faced by family court judges. This judge threw out the request for the order for protection, did not allow Dr. Bernatos to testify and labeled the whole action a sham.
(Unfortunately, this very perceptive judge had no further involvement in the divorce and child custody case.)
The temporary order for protection would not have been granted without Dr. Bernatos' statement. Even though the permanent order for protection was denied, once my children's father was able to gain control of our children, he set about turning them against me. Since it was unsafe for me to move back home due to his rage against me because I initiated the divorce, I lost all contact with my children. The estrangement continues to this day.*

The sad thing is that Dr. Bernatos has deep and ongoing issues with her own mother that clouded her judgment in working with me. She thought that my daughters needed to be "protected" from their mom because she had not been protected from her own mother.

Her inappropriate actions set in motion long-lasting situations (allowing my children's father to gain custody of our children. He then proceeded to poison my children against me* in order to extract revenge against me for choosing to divorce him.)

Her breeching confidentiality when she had absolutely no legitimate reason to has lead to long lasting harm to my three children and me.

Please think very carefully about using Dr. Bernatos to help you with personal problems. She has poor judgment in working with clients and also has little or no ability to discern the difference between her issue and her client's issues.

She could cause you great harm. And because she really is not a good psychologist, she will waste your time and money and potentially derail your efforts to heal your life.

*this is called Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), when one parent poisons the children against the other parent. This syndrome is being considered to be added to the psychologist's and psychiatrist's bible of psychiatric disorders as child abuse, because the parent who is alienating and poisoning the children's minds against the other parent is committing abuse by making them choose between their parents and then forcing the children to turn against a beloved parent.

The irony, according to PAS studies by Amy J. L. Baker PhD, is that the alienating parent is almost always the less psychologically healthy parent and most of the alienating parents have chemical dependency issues. My children's father is an active alcoholic, has been fired for punching a client at work and his MMPI shows that he is a man who is vengeful and unforgiving.

Fourteen years after our separation and his gaining control of our children, he still acts in vengeful ways toward me, controls our now adult children and continues to interfere with the relationships between me and my children.

Marybeth
Menomonie, Wisconsin
U.S.A.