Greenlight Financial Services They charged me $350 for an appraisal after telling me I was going to be approved and I wasn't. Internet

After sending my tax returns and bank reports I received this email

Thank you for your documents Paul. Please hold off on ordering the appraisal until I make sure that you will be approved on Debt to Income. The loan is a no cost loan in which you will be refunded the appraisal if we close. However, I cannot guarantee the rate of 4.125% as we need to approve you and get the appraisal done, and then we may lock the rate.
Step 1. I will take your income to a processor for pre approval
Step 2. Order Appraisal
Step 3. Approval and Lock
Step 4. Fund the loan
I will send you all your disclosures by mail so that you may sign them by hand. I will also send you a separate copy for your own records.
 I sent
You were going to let me know if my numbers will allow a refi. I don't want to pay for an appraisal if my loan won't go through. Please advise.
Paul
 
Email from Greenlight
The appraisal company would like you to get in touch with them to schedule the appraisal so that we can submit your loan to underwriting. If you have any questions please let me know.

I paid for the appraisal and it came in high enough. I received a phone call from Greenlight saying that My debt to income ratio did not work and they couldnt do the loan but they would see about refunding my appraisal fee.

After not hearing from them for over a month I wrote
 Please let me know if you intend to refund the cost of my appraisal. As you remember I did not want to go for the appraisal until all the numbers showed I would get the loan. You said it was all good and so I said OK to the appraisal @ $350. You later informed me that I was not approved and said that you would ask to have my $350 refunded. How is this going?

They wrote
I took this issue to a manager regarding an appraisal refund and they denied it. Unfortunately, based on your tax returns it appeared you were approved. However, it was not indicated on your tax returns that the child support you paid was court ordered or simply declared. Once we had to factor in the child support as a mandatory payment it drastically changed your DTI.
 
 
I wrote
I am sorry for me that you did not do your homework. It was spousal support not child support.  Spousal support is usually mandatory and it does not indicate on a tax return that it is court ordered.  I did tell you that the previous mortgage people denied me based on my debt to income ratio and that I was concerned that you may not get me approved. This is why I asked for you to be sure before I went to the expense of the appraisal. With your assurances I paid for the appraisal and am now I am out $350. I am disappointed in your services and cannot recommend you to others. 
I wonder where the $350 went.