Matthew Wayne Dorris Adulterer and Deadbeat Dad Oklahoma City Oklahoma

I want to thank the person that last responded your advise was well thought out and absolutely correct. I too am on both sides of the fence as my current husband is being absolutely raped for child support on a child that he had no idea even existed. He willingly took a paternity test and when that came back a match he willingly submitted to their financial scrutiny, at that time he was not employed that didn't matter in the slightest to them they determined his monthly amount based on what he "is capable" of making in his line of work. It didn't take long for them to suspend his drivers license for non-payment when we were trying to lower the amount, as we have 3 children and a house payment of our own. We were then told that the case is closed to any modification for 3 years minimum.

Anyway, I do understand both sides of the fence, very well in fact. If my children's father would even attempt to do the right thing I would not persecute him. My biggest problem with the whole ordeal is that I can't understand a man that marries a woman, has children, watches those children come into this world and then walks away as if none of it ever happened in the first place. It deeply saddens me, I do not tell my daughters bad things about him and then again I don't have to. I made the choices I made for them and for their lives. They have asked me (the 2 oldest) if they could contact their father several times, I would gladly oblige them if I had a means to contact him. I do not and he has not tried to let me know where he is in over 8 years. His choice, his loss, in my opinion my daughters are better off without him. I will not however stand in their way should they find him and follow that path. I will be there for them when they come back to me broken hearted that he is not the fantasy that they have dreamed. And what other choice did they have than to dream?

I am happy to report that after a long battle with my state and his and several hours of searching for him myself, he was found again. This time they got an administrative order on him to pay his monthly amount plus arrears and suspended his drivers license. If he continues not to pay there will be a hearing for felony evasion. I am glad to see my tax dollars at work finally, the end result though sad in some ways is triumphant in others. Of course when dealing with matters such as these one must always take care not to impale themselves with the double edged sword of justice.

I too was a little confused as to the statement about it being $10,000 arrearages and the same amount one year later. But, no matter what the amount is, it doesn't change the fact that this lady is owed money to help support the child/children by the one that help make them.

Possible Advice: Contact your Governor's office and make either such a pest of yourself by calling everday or writing everyday until they know you and your case by name. I'm not sure in the state that the order is through but in my state of Michigan, if I'm not mistaken and I could be wrong, those types of arrearages would be consider for a child support felony.

To the lady of the first rebuttal: Do you have child/children for which you are entitled to and receive it, owes child support, or has a current mate that owes child support? These are the only reasons I can think of that you would make comments that are basically sticking up for a man that doesn't pay.

Just so you know if you chose to do a rebuttal on what I have written: I have been on both sides of the fence, both a payor and one who is owed a ridiculous amount in arrears that was based on more than fair considering what he was making vs what he reported as making.

Whatever happens, for the child/childrens sake: since you both have joint custody continue to allow him visitation with the child/children even if he chooses not too. It will be his loss and I know the kids are getting hurt but eventually these children with grow up and learn the truth, that he chose not to see them instead of you wouldn't allow it because he owes. Whatever happens, please, no matter how much anger you have for this man, don't bad mouth him in front of them it will come back to haunt you. If they are old enough to understand and they want or need something and you just can't afford it tell them "I would really love to be able to do this for you but because of our financial situation I just can't afford it right now but when or if I get extra money and you still want/need it I will". They will eventually on their own figure out that they could have had it had their dad/mom been helping out.

Be on the FOC butt non-stop until they get sick of you and do something to help resolve the situation. The squeeky wheel gets the oil in otherwords. That is exactly what my FOC told be but not in that nice phrase.

Good luck to you and your children.

I too was a little confused as to the statement about it being $10,000 arrearages and the same amount one year later. But, no matter what the amount is, it doesn't change the fact that this lady is owed money to help support the child/children by the one that help make them.

Possible Advice: Contact your Governor's office and make either such a pest of yourself by calling everday or writing everyday until they know you and your case by name. I'm not sure in the state that the order is through but in my state of Michigan, if I'm not mistaken and I could be wrong, those types of arrearages would be consider for a child support felony.

To the lady of the first rebuttal: Do you have child/children for which you are entitled to and receive it, owes child support, or has a current mate that owes child support? These are the only reasons I can think of that you would make comments that are basically sticking up for a man that doesn't pay.

Just so you know if you chose to do a rebuttal on what I have written: I have been on both sides of the fence, both a payor and one who is owed a ridiculous amount in arrears that was based on more than fair considering what he was making vs what he reported as making.

Whatever happens, for the child/childrens sake: since you both have joint custody continue to allow him visitation with the child/children even if he chooses not too. It will be his loss and I know the kids are getting hurt but eventually these children with grow up and learn the truth, that he chose not to see them instead of you wouldn't allow it because he owes. Whatever happens, please, no matter how much anger you have for this man, don't bad mouth him in front of them it will come back to haunt you. If they are old enough to understand and they want or need something and you just can't afford it tell them "I would really love to be able to do this for you but because of our financial situation I just can't afford it right now but when or if I get extra money and you still want/need it I will". They will eventually on their own figure out that they could have had it had their dad/mom been helping out.

Be on the FOC butt non-stop until they get sick of you and do something to help resolve the situation. The squeeky wheel gets the oil in otherwords. That is exactly what my FOC told be but not in that nice phrase.

Good luck to you and your children.

I too was a little confused as to the statement about it being $10,000 arrearages and the same amount one year later. But, no matter what the amount is, it doesn't change the fact that this lady is owed money to help support the child/children by the one that help make them.

Possible Advice: Contact your Governor's office and make either such a pest of yourself by calling everday or writing everyday until they know you and your case by name. I'm not sure in the state that the order is through but in my state of Michigan, if I'm not mistaken and I could be wrong, those types of arrearages would be consider for a child support felony.

To the lady of the first rebuttal: Do you have child/children for which you are entitled to and receive it, owes child support, or has a current mate that owes child support? These are the only reasons I can think of that you would make comments that are basically sticking up for a man that doesn't pay.

Just so you know if you chose to do a rebuttal on what I have written: I have been on both sides of the fence, both a payor and one who is owed a ridiculous amount in arrears that was based on more than fair considering what he was making vs what he reported as making.

Whatever happens, for the child/childrens sake: since you both have joint custody continue to allow him visitation with the child/children even if he chooses not too. It will be his loss and I know the kids are getting hurt but eventually these children with grow up and learn the truth, that he chose not to see them instead of you wouldn't allow it because he owes. Whatever happens, please, no matter how much anger you have for this man, don't bad mouth him in front of them it will come back to haunt you. If they are old enough to understand and they want or need something and you just can't afford it tell them "I would really love to be able to do this for you but because of our financial situation I just can't afford it right now but when or if I get extra money and you still want/need it I will". They will eventually on their own figure out that they could have had it had their dad/mom been helping out.

Be on the FOC butt non-stop until they get sick of you and do something to help resolve the situation. The squeeky wheel gets the oil in otherwords. That is exactly what my FOC told be but not in that nice phrase.

Good luck to you and your children.

I too was a little confused as to the statement about it being $10,000 arrearages and the same amount one year later. But, no matter what the amount is, it doesn't change the fact that this lady is owed money to help support the child/children by the one that help make them.

Possible Advice: Contact your Governor's office and make either such a pest of yourself by calling everday or writing everyday until they know you and your case by name. I'm not sure in the state that the order is through but in my state of Michigan, if I'm not mistaken and I could be wrong, those types of arrearages would be consider for a child support felony.

To the lady of the first rebuttal: Do you have child/children for which you are entitled to and receive it, owes child support, or has a current mate that owes child support? These are the only reasons I can think of that you would make comments that are basically sticking up for a man that doesn't pay.

Just so you know if you chose to do a rebuttal on what I have written: I have been on both sides of the fence, both a payor and one who is owed a ridiculous amount in arrears that was based on more than fair considering what he was making vs what he reported as making.

Whatever happens, for the child/childrens sake: since you both have joint custody continue to allow him visitation with the child/children even if he chooses not too. It will be his loss and I know the kids are getting hurt but eventually these children with grow up and learn the truth, that he chose not to see them instead of you wouldn't allow it because he owes. Whatever happens, please, no matter how much anger you have for this man, don't bad mouth him in front of them it will come back to haunt you. If they are old enough to understand and they want or need something and you just can't afford it tell them "I would really love to be able to do this for you but because of our financial situation I just can't afford it right now but when or if I get extra money and you still want/need it I will". They will eventually on their own figure out that they could have had it had their dad/mom been helping out.

Be on the FOC butt non-stop until they get sick of you and do something to help resolve the situation. The squeeky wheel gets the oil in otherwords. That is exactly what my FOC told be but not in that nice phrase.

Good luck to you and your children.

I have found him once again only for him to quit his job and take off once more. Does anyone have any advice on how I can get my state to do anything?? I call them at least once a week and yet they have taken no action.

let me begin by saying, that many of your comments are offensive to me especially since you have no knowledge of the situation or the people involved. F.Y.I., the exact monthly amount of child support due me is $200.00 Total for two children, that amount wouldn't feed a cat for a month.

Number two, the last time I had any contact at all with my childrens father, his idea of connecting with his children was to tell me to go find someone to marry so he could sign away his rights. And third, In direct response to your last comment, if case you cannot read, this father has JOINT CUSTODY, and yet fails to maintain or even begin any kind of relationship with his children.

I would suggest before posting any rebuttals to people's reports I would maybe do some research on laws Etc. You being in Michigan have no idea what the enforcement laws in Missouri are. And by the way his license gets suspended, he can't work, I DON'T CARE, I am not getting support now so what difference does it make to me.

And finally, the total amount due to me is not a matter of public record and I do not have to post the exact amount here or anywhere else. Get the facts straight or keep your opinion to yourself.

A year ago, you said that he was over $10,000 behind in his support, and his figures still remain the same. How can that be? I read a lot of these post, and the outstanding arrearages are always ridiculous amounts. What does he do for a living that he owes so much?

I'm sorry for your situation, however, are you doing anything to improve things for you and the kids, or are you waiting for someone else to do it for you? Did he leave because his support was set so high that there was no way for him to keep up aside from living in his car? Did you attempt to involve him in the kids lives after the breakup (statistically, men who are involved pay at least PART of their child support, while men that are cut out simply give up and leave)? When child support is set at reasonable levels, MOST men give it a valiant effort, but when they are made homeless by their child support orders, what incentive do they have to even try?

Instead of involving the courts, or other agencies in an attempt to take away from him (to what end? If he has no license, how is he going to earn a living?), maybe it's time to re-assess the situation and try and get him re-involved with the children. By doing this, you might find yourself in a much better place by this time next year.....

Unfortunately, there has been no change in the status of this report. We are still searching for Matthew whom is way behind in child support up to $10,000.00 behind now. My state child support enforcement will do nothing, because I am not on welfare and they are not owed money. Therefore I am in the process of hiring an agency to collect my support and hopefully prosecute him as the law allows. God knows that CSE is not doing a thing, but are supposed to suspend driving privelages and imprison, dead beat parents when they are only $5000.00 behind. Hmmm go figure. What is the point in javing the laws when you won't enforce them?