Andrew Sexton Won't help with dead cats Internet

It could really get me out of a couple of jams.

Psychic Andrew Sexton now controls the minds of 2 of my cats.  At this rate, soon he will get to all 32 of them.  As it is, I can't have my landlord know that I have that many cats.  What if Psychic Andrew Sexton gets to all of them.  The grand Matriarch of all of my cats is Lola.  Lola has gone out and purchased an Xbox and now she is always grouchy, never wants to talk, isn't interested in intimacy and she yells at the TV set.  I'm concerned.  I'm calling a lawyer.  Psychic Andrew Sexton did this.  What a waste of $45

I've have it on good authority that cats are actually descendants of God and they are sent here to help guide us.  Squirrels are minions of the devil and that is the reason that cats attack and destroy squirrels.  This is fact. Check the bible - I believe it's Ecclesiastes 3.

This is what he does.  He gets into the heads of cats.  But the thing is, my cat is already psychic.  We had a website for her, but I had to take it down as part of a settlement to get my kids back from Child Services.

However, my Psychic Kitty (who will for now go unnamed, until I win a lawsuit that will put her back on top and in the spotlight, moreso than John Edward because she's more accurate than him and people find her more or less to be more likeable and believable) she communicates with the Psychic Andrew Sexton telepathically.

He did not instruct her to self destruct yet or anything like that. But he did cause her to commit premeditated multiple homicides on some poor and unsuspecting squirrels.  However, I blame in part the squirrels because they were lacking in an education and had no father figure at home.

Anyways, Psychic Andrew Sexton will get to you through your cat.  What a waste of $45.

When someone is given a gift they should use it to help people regardless of whether they "want" to or not.  I don't want my money back, I want answers from Mittens and he has the ability to get them! 

What other options do I have?  I miss my cat.

How can you possibly be upset that someone refunded your money because they couldn't help you?  That's a positive thing!

If you emailed or called me all day long I would be a little annoyed or even freaked out, and have a harassment complaint against you.  He returned your money because he couldn't do anything for you.  That's a decent action.  What more do you want or expect?

If you harassed me like that I'd be tempted to keep your money and give you a BS message from your cat.  

First, pies are delicious, even in large quantities.  I don't doubt he made you eat more than you really wanted though.

Now that you say it, Mittens was sleeping a lot, maybe she was under a trance by this "psychic"!?  

Does anyone know if the ASPCA will do something with this?  

I should probably bury her soon.

The so-called "Psychic Confidential" knows how to get inside your head.  He made me eat 10 pies.  He probably used mental telepathy and forced Mittens (I'm so sorry) to end it all, due to the constant psychic abuse.  This man works for Satan.

I'm devastated, I lost my best friend and soul mate.  I'm offended that anyone would suggest that cats are interchangable! I saw the suicide in her eyes when she ran out the door, I don't care what Science Illustrated (whatever that is) said. You didn't know Mittens, so there is no way you can understand how I feel right now.

So, you think your cat committed suicide and now not even a fraudulent psychic will talk to you?

Maybe your cat committed suicide to get away from you.  You sound like a nutcase to me.

Not even a 'psychic' will talk to you?  That's hilarious, I thought they'd rip anyone off. 

On a serious note, I promise you that your cat did NOT commit suicide.  I, in fact, read an article in Science Illustrated discussing whether animals ever commit suicide.  They don't, the closest is that some primates will bite or scratch themselves for some reason.  Your cat just rushed outside and made a fatal mistake.  You just have to learn to accept it.  Maybe get another pet and watch it closer?

This is just tooo d**n funny