Chanel Nagaishi Chanel Simonich, Chanel Christine Simonich, Chanel Christine Nagaishi She threw me away, like a piece of trash...She lied to the courts, to inflict pain on me...She made me feel like I'm the scum of the earth... Lehi Utah

I always wanted to be a dad, but because of the family I was in, I was told that I would be just like my father was.  He was a violent, abusive wife beater, child beater and threatening abusive individual who would scream at the top of his lungs at you, while shaking your head by grabbing the hair until you were dizzy and wanted to die.  Or he would pick you up by your ear, shake you violently and scream full blast at your face, for no reason what so ever.  He would beat us with whatever he could find, his hand, a belt, a board or even a hatchet. He would beat us for no reason and treat us like we were the worst vile things on earth.  He would call us names that I can’t even repeat, and we would live in total fear of being abused, beaten and possibly even killed.  The violence was unrelenting and would not stop until we were of age or ran away.  He hated that he had to support us financially and we literally wished we had a different father. He never did any of the things I would do with my kids except camping. I thought I would die on so many occasions that I was shocked that I made it to legal age.  There was no peace, no love in our family, only fear, verbal and physical abuse from my father.

I had been dating a woman previously that we had talked about what would happen if she got pregnant because I was just starting my company and I had no time to be a father.  She claimed she was on birth control but somehow got pregnant in spite of this.  She told me I was going to be a father and she was going to keep the baby, turn me into the state and take everything that I had built with my business.  It infuriated me because we had agreed to give any child up for adoption due to our circumstances and our ages.  Eventually after 2 years, I saw the baby and I was mesmerized, but then her mother took her and moved 2 states away and I saw her very seldom. 

At this time, I was dating another woman that would be my future wife.  This woman saw what I went through with this other woman, who tried everything in her power to break us up and even called me on my wedding day and stated that If I didn’t marry her, she would take my child and move to a different state and I wouldn’t be allowed to see her. I gave my word to my wife about getting married and so I kept it.

After I was married, I told my wife I wanted kids, but not now. She said she would never do to me what the last woman had done. She understood, or so I thought. Later, I was told that she was pregnant, and I was in shock.  My mom said she told her she had ran out of birth control 3 months earlier. She had done exactly the same thing to me as the last woman.

Our daughter was born and again, I was mesmerized.  She was the most beautiful baby, she was fun and always loved me.  I spent my time with her, literally taking time out of my life just for her. I gave her a bath, read her bedtime stories, put her to bed, taught her how to swim, walked with her in her little orange car around the neighborhood. We played drive up window, watched movies, colored with crayons, played in her sandbox. I cooked her favorite foods and I spoiled her with my time and money.  She wanted for nothing, I taught her how to skate, ride a bike and hit and catch a ball.  I used to prepare school homework for her and she loved it. She was in dance and I never missed a performance. We went camping, to movies, shopping, to the park, ice skating, out to eat, skiing, s****.>

She would ask me to sit on the toilet why she showered because she was afraid there were ghosts.  She got her finger slammed in a doorway at school.  I picked her up, took her to see a doctor, we went out for lunch and ice cream and made a fun day out of it. I pretended to be Halloween witch and sent her Bluemountain cards every day, so she could have fun answering them every day after school, even leaving her candy bars outside for her.  When it was cold, I pretended to be Santa Claus and I would send her cards every day and answer her cards. I told her every day how much I loved her, and she told me how much she loved me.  I gave her my time and showed her my love. I took her to a daddy daughter dance and bout her a special corsage.  She was in a gifted program and I used to transport her clear across town, so she could be a part of it.

One Christmas, after I had spent thousands of dollars on the two girls and purchased everything on their lists, the day before Christmas, I went shopping and spent several thousand dollars more, just to make sure that Christmas morning would be spectacular.  Not only did I help wrap the presents, I put up her new bed, a trampoline, a hockey table and other items together getting to bed at like 5 am.  I was so excited that I let them wake up immediately after I just laid down, so they could see what Santa had brought them.  After several hours of opening their presents, she said that she was sad because she didn’t get what she wanted, even though I got her everything on her list and thousands of dollars more the day before Christmas.  This made me very sad and I cried right there, because I had been the exact opposite type of father to my kids than my father.  I had never yelled at them, I never screamed at them, I never hit them, I gave them only love and I never once spanked them or made them fear me.  I showed them nothing but love and yet I had just found out that it was never enough.   

Then one day, I came home, and I found a note on the bath mirror from my ex, stating she had moved out and wanted a divorce.

I saw my daughter the next day at one of her dance recitals and my ex told me that my daughter is the one that wanted her to divorce me and that was the main reason she wanted the divorce.  I asked my daughter and she denied this.  I tried to reconcile with my wife, but my daughter would get between us and tell me not to touch her mom, at age 10.

I moved to a brand-new condo and gave her, her own beautiful bedroom with all of her own furniture, desk and games with her own remote controlled tv and stereo boom box. She didn’t want to visit me on visitation day, she wouldn’t talk to me when we were together.  She told me that she had lied and told her friends bad things about me, I asked her “why would you do that” and she replied to me “I don’t know”. One day on our visitation day, I was driving her on the freeway and I asked if she wanted to go out to eat, she said “no”, I said how about a movie and she blurted out at the top of her lungs “I HATE YOU”. I tried to tell her how her life would be without me and she didn’t want to hear anything about it. 

She told me she wanted braces and so her mom made an appointment with her dentist and I was told that I was paying for her braces, After the way she was treating me, I said” no, you have to earn them” and this made her more upset, “how dare you not pay for my braces?”

Then, she told the court guardian ad litem, that I took her to Las Vegas and that I left her alone in a hotel room with a man, which was a lie, it never happened.  When I was in court, this was stated by the guardian ad litem and my visitation rights were terminated, because of this statement and other lies she had made up.  Later I asked her about this and she replied, “it was a mistake” but she never even apologized for what she put me through. She told the court that she was scared of me and so I had to go through expensive counseling session, meeting with PHD counselors, for more than a year, before I could even be alone with her, for visitation. 

During this time, she would visit my house and not speak to me, just watch tv and ask, “is it time to go home yet”?  On her birthday, I drove 120 miles roundtrip, just so she could have a birthday party and transport all of her friends to my clubhouse, for the Star Wars theme swim party that she asked for.  She told me how she loved her swim party and days later she asked if she really had to come over to my house for a month in the summer, I said “if you don’t want to, you don’t have to”  she said REALLY, REALLY, REALLY?  The phone dropped out of my hand, hung up and that’s the last time I ever spoke to her.

She never called me again, I was not able to see her after that.  I missed out on all of the big events in her life, visitation, weekends, dance, school events, I used to take her to school, pick her up, share special time, birthdays, holidays, middle school graduation, high school graduation, college graduation, marriage and even child birth and being a grandfather, were all taken from me for no reason that I deserve.  What could I possibly have done to earn this from the child I loved so much?  She has absolutely no idea of the pain that her actions have caused me.

I quit paying her child support, why should I pay when I never got to see her. if I did pay, I was rewarding her for her bad behavior.

Of course, I have had plenty of time to think about it, so much time that I have made my conclusions.  I don’t think we share the same DNA.  I believe no one with my DNA could be so vile, yet my father’s actions do come to mind.  Back when she was born, you never got a DNA test, they weren’t readily available at that time.  I’m pretty sure that is the answer, the ex was always meeting with men while we were married.  Regardless, the pain has disappeared and so has all of the love I once had for her.  She has become someone that I don’t think about often, almost like she never existed.  I have no idea what she looks like.  I don’t know exactly where she lives, I don’t really care either. I don’t wish to hear from her or share any type of relationship with her or see her again.

I almost died because my blood pressure shot up to 230 at the hospital emergency room. I had a positive colon cancer test in December 2017 and it later turned out to be a false positive. During these life and death situations, I didn’t think about her. I only thought of my girlfriend and my son.  I used to sit and think, what could I have done to her, that made her they way she is.  I don’t really know, but I do know I didn’t deserve it. I could have easily lived without all of the pain and lies, she has inflicted on me.

I have moved on in my life, even if forcibly so.  It hasn’t been easy, but it was necessary so that I could be happy once again.  I thought I was father of the year and she made me feel that I was the scum of the earth. I finally realized, I used to spend all of my waking hours doing everything I could to please her and make her life wonderful. It’s amazing how little I cared about myself, giving her everything and making myself last.  I really feel lucky now that I was relieved of those powerful responsibilities.  Now I take care of myself, my girlfriend, my son and our happiness together.

Now you know the truth about this person, the true person she really is and how she has treated her father, her former number one supporter, who once loved her with all of his soul and being. I do wish she was never born to me.  She is dead to me.  One day she will stand before God and be held accountable for her actions against her father, for breaking God's commandments "Honor thy father" Amen.