Complaint Review: Shannon McDowell: SLMbodybuilding-FITHOUSE. - Vancouver British Columbia
SlimMcD Shannon McDowell: SLMbodybuilding-FITHOUSE Inconsistent Performance of Life Coaching Services & Periodic, Unprofessional Behavior Due To "Ailments", Questionable Background & Credentials Vancouver British Columbia
*Author of original report: SlimMcD Shannon McDowell: SLMbodybuilding FITHOUSE: ADDITIONAL ALLEGATIONS= CORRESPONDING ATTACHMENTS
*Author of original report: SlimMcD Shannon McDowell: SLMbodybuilding FITHOUSE: ADDITIONAL ALLEGATIONS= 4. FALSE CLAIMS OF HARASSMENT & DEFAMATION; 5. BREACH OF CLIENT CONFIDENTIALITY (10-16-18)
*Author of original report: Update: Shannon's Two Responses To The Filed Rip-Off Report On Her ,5-25-18
*Author of original report: SlimMcD Shannon McDowell: SLMbodybuilding-FITHOUSE; Missing Text Under "TURNING THE CORNER"
*Author of original report: SlimMcD Shannon McDowell: SLMbodybuilding-FITHOUSE Update (4-20-18)
*Author of original report: SlimMcD Shannon McDowell: SLMbodybuilding-FITHOUSE Update (4-10-18): Missing text under TURNING THE CORNER, & Last 3 Captioned Photos Under CONCLUSION.
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Shannon McDowell, aka “SlimMcD”, SLMbodybuilding-FITHOUSE.
-Inconsistent Performance of Life Coaching Services & Periodic Unprofessional Behavior, due to “Health Issues”; unorthodox approach.
-Questionable Background & Credentials.
Legal Disclaimer & Notes: ALL statements & quotes either encased in [brackets], or following IMO= “In my opinion”, or IPO= “In Person’s Opinion” are CONCLUSIONARY under U. [continued below]....
This comprehensive, in-depth Rip-Off report is unusual, because it’s not about payments, or the performed services per se, but mainly about the inconsistency of the services rendered (specific to Life Coaching), & why.
“SHE LOOKED LIKE AN ANGEL”
I’m a 58 year old disabled adult (due to a stroke) in San Diego, the last-of-my-family-line, losing a near decade legal battle with a lender after the late Trustee stole all the equity from the 51 year old family home I lived in put under Trust for my benefit, to get loans for herself (“self-dealing”). She died in late 2008, one day before we were to take her to court, & left nothing but debts, including the defaulted loans. Result: I am currently homeless & living out a remaining family car under the trust.
Though I fought the foreclosure tenaciously, after being locked out of home I’d known since age 5, then the trust losing the home in court, losing many corresponding lifelong family possessions in-the-process late 2016 (many of my own), I was a broken man those first few months of 2017, floundering with no self-esteem or desire to do anything, having applied to 4 San Diego senior housing lists for a room with an average 2-year wait. Other losses included my Nutritionist/Life Coach of 2 years at the worst, possible time. So there was no question I had issues when I turned to longtime Facebook (“FB”) friend Shannon McDowell of West Vancouver, BC, founder & CEO of SLM Bodybuilding-FITHOUSE (http://www.shannonmcdowell.net) aka, “SlimMcD”, who did mostly positive social media posts about giving, integrity, & doing the right thing. When I shared my story with her, Shannon kindly offered her WHC (“Wellness Health Coaching”) Life Coaching services for a steep discount befitting my limited monthly disability income to help me re-ignite my doused inner-fire towards rebuilding my life, something my Trust’s Trustee described as a “labor-of love”. In exchange, I offered Shannon online promotion, using extensive online research skills I developed while fighting the lenders to promote women’s bodybuilding/physique competitors on social media pro gratis. Blessed with an incredible beauty & compact physique developed from years of DIY nutrition & coaching as a National Canadian Women’s Bodybuilding turned Women’s Physique competitor (WPD), via Holistic practices to combat allergies & chronic illnesses like the Epstein-Barr Virus based Mono she claims made her bedridden for nearly a decade, Shannon (who once lived in Hollywood, CA for 5 years ), is also a gifted intellectual (mostly self-taught), her educational background including Pre-Med at Calgary University, & Media Arts at Alberta College of Art and Design (aka ACAD), the latter of where she informed me she’d gotten her B.A.. With all Shannon knew & was, I wondered why this caring, & fully self-employed 45 year old woman hadn’t gone on to become “Dr. Shannon McDowell” &/or married with children, some years ago (1. Shannon’s FB Angel Pic/Offered Services Collage, & 2.Shannon’s Competitive History & 2014 Wins Pics Collage).
Using my online research skills contributed to the loss of my 1st coach when I accidentally learned a guarded secret about him I impulsively brought up with him, 100% contrary to the perfect “drama-free “lifestyle image he promoted online, & a subsequent FB unfriending & silent treatment towards me followed after I trusted someone online with his secret, who talked at his personal expense, the latter of which Shannon explained was abuse:
Shannon 5-1-17: “D, Giving the silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse and is very mean, manipulative and immature.” It turned out that assignments to research terms (like “the silent treatment” & “self-sabotage”) were to be a HUGE part of Shannon’s coaching style, terms more familiar to her than I was aware of at the time.
So to avoid rocking the boat, based on my 1st impression of Shannon, & going by what she told to me via Messenger & Bio info on her 2 FB profiles & website, I chose not to do my usual online background research on Shannon, nor do any informative research on Life-Coaching’s generally established “do’s & don’ts” in a still, largely un-regulated profession, signing a 12-month contract with Shannon on good faith May 3rd, 2017, three, key decisions I would soon come to regret.
Though initially apprehensive, the first 2 & a half of months under Shannon’s outside-the-box, tough-love Life Coaching seemed Heaven-sent, with Shannon’s uncanny ability to tap into parts of me only my late Mother knew of towards guiding me to take care of myself, with her STRONG emphasis on integrity, accountability, & philanthropy, of which the last line in the “Bio” section of her 2 FB profiles & her FB page reads, “Consider my word Gold”.I couldn’t help but become school-boy bitten HARD by this woman with her combination of looks, husky, authoritative Lauren Bacall-like voice, intellect, mantra (“Trust your purpose”) & instinctive gifts, that seemed like a timely Angel-from-God blessing to a man living out a car at rock-bottom, when needed most.
MINOR RED-FLAGS MAKE THEIR DEBUT
It was during July that minor red-flags began to appear, when Shannon started postponing our bi-weekly phone chats as her various allergies & “ailments” (starting from what she called the “100-Day Flu” in late winter 2016) affected her, taking their toll. I never had a reason not to take Shannon’s self-described “ailments” seriously (a “pulled neck-muscle”, an“Amoeba”, “Candida”, “possible re-occurrence of the Mono”), since she indicated having enough sense to visit a Doctor when needed, particularly at one point when she ended up in the ER on a morphine-drip after a bad reaction to the Flagyl prescribed for a bacterial infection, & had visibly lost most of her 8 years of built muscle. But as I got to know her, Shannon slowly revealed the pattern of her Holistic Medicinal practices of self Rx-ing, waking up feeling miserable, promising to see a doctor, then changing her mind after sleeping in, saying she felt a lot better (if not 100%), turning to a homeopathic remedy she felt would do. She also made it clear, that it was a bad idea to try talking to her when she was ailing:
Shannon 7-6-17: “D, I'm not going to be able to have our chat until my pain is under control at a reasonable level. Please understand that… I was on a lot of morphine and they gave me nothing afterwards for it… It wasn't a nosebleed. I'll talk to you when I can… I don’t want want to talk until pain dies down......I’m very agitated from it it’s too much”.
She revealed even more when missing a key PR moment by not attending the 2017 Vancouver Pro/AM, something I’d arranged via a free pass from an IFBB Pro competitor friend:
Shannon 7 -8-17: “D, I've had a bad infection since April, right after a bad Flu since December combined with THE worst yearlong dating relationship of my life, immediately after an 8 year similar one (both chronic emotional toll examples on health) right after the next, right after the next, right after the next....plus a recent extreme drug reaction. You don’t just get over all that in a day or two....”
Shannon 7 24-17: “D, I had some kind of breakdown yesterday and I'm trying recover from it. I understand your frustration and I'm doing the best I can to be here for you...”
Shannon 7-25-17:“I've been working and connecting with my coach right now too-I'm here, D.”
D 7-26-17: “I thought you coached yourself...”
Shannon 7-26-17: “Not for my head I don’t.”
Ignoring the red-flag “breakdown” and “coach” comments, not only was I sympathetic, my admiration for Coach Shannon grew, for what I felt was her best quality, “being real”, unlike the usual “Life can be a day at the beach” Life Coach rhetoric, & since her methods were working for me, I tried to be as flexible as Shannon was with me. However, being homeless for the very first time had likely created some latent emotional issues of resentment in me, & since I didn’t want to create any conflict, my buried frustrations due to her increasing absences may have seeped-out in the form of some “Passive-Aggressive” (“P/A”) jabs in my texts to her, a term I’d never even heard of before she’d explained it to me, but something that with her strong, perceptive-reading skills (she claims to have tested in the top 10 %) Shannon felt she spotted immediately, when I asked if she’d read something I sent her:
Shannon 7-26-17: “I'll read it when I can. I don’t have internet”
D: “Sorry your internet is still acting up.”
Shannon: “D!!! I haven’t had Internet or Wi-Fi at my place for a month now. Some of your things come across as passive aggressive and I don’t like that… You have a tendency to express frustration through little jabs and I am asking you to stop. I catch myself doing it too at times. Everyone does it from time to time. But it is not a healthy way to communicate or express things. It puts space and tension between people... There is only one person on this planet who can be there for you and help you 24/7 and who can do it best and that's YOU!! If you are questioning that I ‘m not doing the best I possibly can then this isn't going to work. I'm not perfect or have the capacity to be there EVERY time you want me to or need me to, and if you cant have faith that I will do as much as I can, than this is going to fall apart.”
Though I’d felt sincere in my well-wishes to her, Shannon clearly interpreted my comments as, “Hurry-up & take care of your issues so we can continue with our sessions”, & I couldn’t deny being frustrated with the delays, so I took her word they were P/A. Shocked if I’d been subconsciously doing this with my great respect for women, something I could only recall having done once before with my late Mother (the reason for my great respect) as a teen, whenever I depended on her, until confronted & encouraged to be honest about whatever bothered me, I promised Shannon to clamp-down on this bad habit now directed at her for good, with her promise we would have a detailed future session with her pin-pointing the comments she felt were P/A, along with & advice on how to control it, when she had time. One comment she mentioned as an example was my stating “I’m sorry you’re dealing with “stuff’, the last word I actually put in quotes. It didn’t help that my homeless situation had created a dependence on Shannon, one that grew along with her growing absences, & should have been an early red-flag to her as a Life Coach to quickly discourage.
I tried to pull back on the reins & watch my P’s & Q’s with more realistic expectations as we moved forward, but Shannon’s continual ailments, delays, & mixed messages made it difficult:
Shannon 7-30-17: “D, I think lost about 15lbs ....eek!” (3.Shannon-6 Days Post 100-Day Flu Symptoms- Same captioned pic).
Shannon 8-2-17: “I woke up with very swollen tonsils and glands with white spots. Since I am already on two antibiotics its likely not bacterial. If its mono that came back I may be up for the fight of my life, as I was bed ridden almost 10 years with it in the past. Consider this a heads up that I may not be able to be there for you on a consistent basis.”
D 8-3-17: “I'm sorry; I hope at least you’ll get a definitive answer from your doctor.”
Shannon: “Doctors don’t know s**t about chronic stuff, so maybe hope for something different, D.”
In addition, Shannon’s unorthodox approach, along with making some allowances for my situation, led to her laxing of establishing essential laid-down Life Coaching guidelines/boundaries before we began together, making it equally confusing & upsetting to me when 4 months in, she complained about my outside-the-contract & requests, ones she’d happily welcomed at first with no objections, 99% involving the fitness industry:
Shannon 8-27-17:“They (Life Coaches) guide and support you dealing with upsetting stuff in the most efficient and healthiest way. They teach you to take care of things yourself and show you how well you really can.…you keep trying to take my helping out from being in a coaching context into something else, which I don't feel comfortable with, and do not see any long term benefit in doing.” This is a boundary I am setting. These tasks are inappropriate…Respect my boundaries or this can't work. You are grown, D. You can do this yourself. I'm here to help you with YOU deciding the right direction and your CHOICES, not mine... I don't expect you or anyone to be perfect, but I DO expect you to be quickly accountable and correct things when you aren't, as I will also be.”
Early on, Shannon herself stated that in Life Coaching in particular, one couldn’t help but become more personally involved as the coach-client relationship progressed, the reason my 1st coach had slipped with the revealing comment that ultimately ruined our professional relationship, which was happening here, too; so despite Shannon’s belated boundary-setting, the mixed messages continued starting later that same day, which didn’t help:
Shannon’s comment on my FB post about a Figure competitor who blocked me after I called her out on her questionable fundraising link I initially shared. Shannon had advised me to call her out, but this was the very matter that compelled Shannon to complain & set a boundary to not to get involved any further; so the most supportive comment she ever made for me was happily surprising, if added to my confusion:
Shannon’s Comment On My FB 8-27-17:“You are keeping it real D and speaking your truth. I understand it's frustrating when people can't see your positive intent and sincerity… I'm sorry you had to have something unpleasant like this directed at you when you are working so hard through so much already. I'm proud of you and support you 100%.”
After my close friend had friended Shannon on FB & complimented her for the outstanding work with me:
Shannon 8-29-17: “I'm glad a third party is observing and giving feedback. I don’t have the strict guidelines and studied techniques, psychologists, etc. use, so a lot comes from "the trenches" and my gut instinct, sprinkled with a LOT of my personality, ha-ha.”
TURNING THE CORNER
These mixed messages & gaps in performance didn’t lessen the Life Coaching-magic Shannon performed whenever she could, & I sang her praises to everyone, feeling the old fire in me re-ignited & stoked as my confidence grew, more anxious for whatever Shannon had planned for me next. The highlight was her “Mobile Business Plan”, where she had me get an iPad5 to use towards getting back into the business I’d tried to get going for years with my close friend/business partner, until the legal-issues consumed me. That she dabbled in, & knew a bit about my specialty, advising me on the iPad specs I should look for, was simply another admirable quality of Shannon’s. And as she wisely predicted, using the iPad was just the extra big spark I needed. Towards this end, Shannon temporarily waived 3 months of payments to ease my budget to buy the iPad. So, having fully woken up to the fact she couldn’t be there for me 24/7, making no further off-coaching requests, & also keeping the waiver & her higher paying clients in mind, I again tried to retain myself & remain as flexible as possible for whenever we could hook-up for phone-chat sessions, even ones past midnight (Vancouver & San Diego, share the same time).
But the elements of Shannon’s increasing absences, her becoming less and less available as she tried to make up for lost work with higher priority paying clients (her lost Wi-Fi-period hadn’t help), combined with lousy timing of an owner’s decision to reconvert the Duplex rental Shannon shared to sell, forcing her to find another rental within 60 days before her lease ran, & added to her stress & lack of time for me, made biting my tongue with patience increasingly difficult. When I was unable to just leave a late-night voicemail with Shannon with bad news of a received rejection-letter of my state public assistance request over the lost home (one Shannon had encouraged me to finish), the s****.>
D 9-4-17: “Hey, you never answered the question, and we need to get on that subject in the near future… Still analyzing? I just thought it came down to a simple yes or no...”
Shannon: “That was absolutely passive aggressive, and the other 100% passive aggressive... And so was the last, bordering on rude… That’s the worst you've been yet. Any particular reason you are trying to turn me off, push me away and eventually leave you D?”
D: “I just wanted to know the answer to the first question so I could try to get a handle on it before we touched on the issue in depth.”
Shannon: “… I think me insisting I be treated with respect and you to be understanding that for another human being to be at your disposal 100% of the time whenever you need support is simply not feasible. Why is this developing resentfulness in you D?”
D “there is no developing resentment...”
Shannon: “Passive aggressiveness is an act of resentment, actually...This is not "vulnerable client reaching out" behaviour. This is toxic behaviour that pushes people away... shooting passive aggressive comments is not normal or healthy in any type of relationship with anybody... The more you do it, the less I want to continue coaching you, as would anyone else. Period.”
Though she gave me a P/A assignment based on her basic advice for me to do before we hooked up again (4.P-A Control-Sheet by Shannon McDowell (9-4-17), the tense back and forth continued until we managed a shaky peace by the 3rd day:
Shannon 9- 5-17: “This has nothing to do with me; this passive aggressive behaviour is YOUR behaviour, not mine. IT IS OUT OF LINE… This is becoming outside my scope of coaching.” She then referred me to online therapy site, BetterHelp (www.betterhelp.com).
D 9-6-17: “Coach, give me 2 days on this, the space should help us both.
Shannon: “I think you should look at that website, because I don't think I'm in a position to really help you anymore, D. I'm just not feeling the reciprocating respect from you that is necessary for I. I also think a break is a good idea. I'm going to be busy moving anyway so maybe we can check in after the first week of October. Let me know what you think.”
D 9- 7-17: “I apologize for hurting and disrespecting you... I hope you know I meant that….”
Shannon: “Ok. Thanks D… I do understand the velocity behind the frustration reaching out when so much is emotionally going on… But what you must understand is that only YOU can be there for YOU 100% of the time… The reason this happens when things are going on with me is because that's when I'm MOST busy trying to get my OWN s*** in order, and I can't be there for you while having my own crisis that takes everything I have to deal with. I think when you do the assignment you will understand more. There is good reason why I'm putting my foot down HARD and fast now, ok?”
WORKING TOWARDS A SECOND CHANCE WITH SHANNON
Though as an intellectual she expressed a dislike for certain used terms at times, like ‘taking one to the carpet’ (“Keep the wrestling in the sport of wrestling D, its not as healthy using those moves when relating to people…”), other than the somewhat mixed P/A issue, NOTHING Shannon stated at this point seemed “off” or unreasonable for a Life Coach who simply wanted her personal wishes respected; Recommending a Therapist when feeling issues are outside-of-scope, or sticking with a ‘problem client’ if one thinks they can change & grow, are both part of the professional Life Coaching “do’s & don’ts”; I certainly didn’t want to lose Shannon at such a crucial point; & my close friend, who had maintained his support throughout the legal matter, agreed with Shannon’s opinion when I shared all that happened. But most importantly, having learned of Shannon’s usual “one & done”practice with people she’d mentioned who had let her down, I was keenly aware this was a rare, 2nd chance from her. So while Shannon made it clear she would now not be helping me to pin-point my P/A comments as she’d earlier promised (“Going over what you said is your work D, not mine.”), though she sent me 2 helpful links at the last minute, I eagerly agreed to the assignment towards the 2nd week of October hook-up, working on it diligently through September, while Shannon worked towards finding a new place before the deadline (which she did), with us both keeping in touch along the way, re-establishing our early-good rapport. I felt like a kid anxious for Christmas Day, when she would give me a passing grade, then “gift” me with resuming our sessions (something I’d ALWAYS looked forward to).
However, in looking over at my various strings of texts & messages to Shannon to see exactly what comments she felt were P/A without her help, along with the few I knew of, [seemed to reveal that what Shannon considered P/A was more exclusive to her, adding to the “mixed” feelings of if I had this habit]. It was a clear, P/A remark I made to my close friend the very first time on the day Shannon moved, that compelled me to ignore this red-flag, & strengthened my resolve to nip whatever P/A habit I had in-the-bud. I also made it a point during the timeout to promote Shannon more as per our contract, though with her admitted solitary lifestyle (“I never go out, EVER”), there was only so much I could work with from her many unsmiling selfies (she once replied to a FB friend, “Smiling is overrated…”). Still, despite Shannon’s lost muscle-tone & not having competed for the 1st time in 8 years, her incredible looks were THE saving grace for my doing some online PR (5(b).PR For Shannon-‘Our Greatest Fear’ (10-5-17). That only her “Eye Candy” FB friends commented or liked her posts on the 2 FB profiles & FB page, RARELY her FB family members or any her fitness industry connections on FB, was another red-flag I chose to ignore.
In looking for some possible work that disability benefit guidelines allowed, I checked out the “Indeed” site, where I happened to find Shannon’s uploaded public resume (5. Shannon McDowell’s Indeed Resume (Last Updated 4-24-15), where the accurate facts of her background, something she knew better than to fudge, particularly stand-out; the gaps in her college years attending Calgary University (91-93) & ACAD (04-06), with no mention of her B.A. in Media Arts from the latter. But the most surprising was Shannon’s employment at Whole Foods Cambie (“CMB”) West Vancouver, B.C. from “2013 to the present”, a detail Shannon conveniently omits from her social media pages & website’s “Bio” (www.wholefoodsmarket.com/stores/cambie). For one wanting to rebuild an inner-fire from the ashes, next to her “being real”, Shannon’s current self-employed status with SLM Bodybuilding was the most impressive thing to me, something she mentioned in early August, when I informed her of me & my close friend/ business partner’s earlier failed efforts to get our business going that my legal matters sidetracked even more, for years:
Shannon8-7-17: "It sounds to me you and E were getting close to that critical mass where one job leads right to the next. It took me 6-7 years for that."
Though disappointed she bent the truth, & “hearing crickets” when I mentioned finding this info, in advocating competitors, I could excuse a bit of “PR puffery” on her part; & that Shannon was currently self-employed was still quite impressive. So on good faith alone, I used my Wiki account to add her name as a notable ACAD alumnus. Her pet peeve for lazy terms, & the P/A issue aside, no minor red-flags could remove the stars this “Angel Shannon” had put in my eyes, it would have to take much more for that to happen.
“WHEN WILL I SEE HER AGAIN?”
As I’d hoped, when finishing then sending her the 1st P/A pdf assignment, Shannon happily approved, & after a few supplemental requests, felt we were ready to re-boot our sessions, though the moving process had exhausted Shannon more than she had anticipated, pushing the initial planned re-boot session to the 3rd week of October; I had described how my Trustee preferred I not call myself a “Transient” based on my progress, as he did not see me that way & Shannon agreed, choosing the term “Forward moving” for me, which I still use:
Shannon 10-10-17: “Getting there, D… I just slept 12 hours, and feeling a little less transient and more forward moving, myself. **Please note the wording there and how I used it to describe my state and reflect that on your own, D. Let's set a day and time. Tonight may work if my energy levels stay up. But let's have a back up.”
I was excited, but knew the phone chat appointment was tentative based on how Shannon felt, which worsened as the days passed, & slowly soured the mutual good will we’d rebuilt during the time-out in the process, as she continually postponed:
Shannon 10-11-17: “I had to push my phone call to my folks for tomorrow night, so let's tentatively shoot for then, unless I get booked. Confirm 2morr.”
Shannon 10-12-17: “Sorry D, gotta push the call back another night. Woke up with migraine coming on and had to go back to bed.....ugh.”
Shannon 10-13-17: “Still in bed, D. Been sleeping since I messaged last night. Hope it's not some weird flu.”
Despite the delays, I put the lessons learned during the P/A assignment to good use, & with the help & advice of my close friend, remained patient, calm, & polite, though Shannon didn’t. [IMO, it seemed that the increasing time spent in her bed sick-bed & more lost work, had Shannon re-evaluating whether or not I was still worth her continual philanthropic efforts, at a time she needed to focus on current & new clients who could help her pay the rent.] It was 99% texting between us, so I was thrown by the email she sent with a particular assignment request to sub for payments, especially when the 3-month payment waiver based on the iPad buy was ending a couple of weeks, with monthly payments to be reinstated November 1st:
Shannon 10-14-17: “...I think to make this work I am going to have to reinstate payments. Instead of asking for cash, however, I would like you to start researching who has come across your radar over the years in the bb… Please deliver this in the manner you have done so far with all your reports. I was improved today but going back to bed again.” (And a session-date?) “Hopefully tomorrow, as I am missing a lot of work.”
I told her that I would have to put her new assignment for me on the back-burner, due to doing iPad work on a project (as she’d encouraged) to get my business going again, actually a surprise 45th Birthday “Thank You” gift for Shannon, which at that point was already going to be a belated one. She seemed to understand:
“Let me know when you do have the time then D. I can wait.”
What she hadn’t clarified, was that she had decided there would be no sessions until I did the assignment for her:
D 10-15-17: “It’s just a light dinner and more composing time, so please give me a holler if you have a slot open Tonite.”
Shannon: “No, I don't. In any type of relationship, professional or personal, both parties give and take. That is how they work. No pay, no service. I explained what I as willing to accept as "payment". It's a little horrific you are expecting something for nothing.”
Shaken by her response & change of attitude, but hoping it was due to her ailing & how that could affect her, not an indication Shannon had not really put all that had come before behind her, I calmly replied, sending her one month’s PayPal payment to keep the peace, though I couldn’t afford it:
D: “I misunderstood, I thought you meant starting next month, you had been trying to set a date for the past week, didn't know you had changed your mind. The question is, why?” Check your PayPal.”
[IMO, she may not have done so before her next reply]:
Shannon: “You need to re-read the email I sent you about what is acceptable as payment. I'm going to recommend this site again (BetterHelp), as I don't think anything is goin to come of this.”
A few minutes later: “You know what, probably best to deal with this when I'm not sick with this nasty whatever.....I'm not at my best when my immune system is activated .(at my worst, actually....Ugh!) "I HATE VIRUSES!!! I WANT TO KILL ALL OF THEM!!!" That's me emotiinally right now.....Forget dealing with anything else in any other way.....”
D: “Okay, Coach, rest up, we can catch up when YOU'RE ready ❤”
So a bullet was dodged temporarily, as I carefully watched my P’s & Q’s, anxious for whenever she could follow through on rebooting our phone chat-sessions, while frustrated with Shannon’s continual self Rx-ing over seeing a doctor. Unaware of just how close-to-home I got with her at the time, I felt compelled to give her my honest opinion, but did so with my acquired non-P/A tools to avoid something coming out the wrong way (I NEVER outwardly complained to her). The one caveat in avoiding P/A Shannon hadn’t mentioned was that one’s honesty wouldn’t always be appreciated, since she gave me a clearly tense, but polite reply:
Shannon 10-16-17: “Ummm.....I have been to the hospital twice already this year, but thanks.” (6.Shannon’s FB Selfie- 2nd Time in the ER on Morphine Drip (7-4-17).
At least sensing the cut-it-with-a-knife air, I gave her space over the next few days before what was to be Shannon’s 45th birthday on the 19th, only checking any rare FB posts she made, one in particular, that stood out: Shannon McDowell FB 10-17-17:“Anyone in Vancouver recently come down with a bug that gives you the worst headache ever and makes you sick to your stomach for a few days? Is some nasty Nora virus going around? Let me know if you experienced this the last couple weeks, thanks:)... I’m at 7 days tomorr and it hasn’t gotten better at all yet. I can’t eat.....And that NEVER EVER happens.....Wtf?!?..”
What I didn’t sense was Shannon’s above feeler for a self-diagnostic confirmation of what she had last texted me Sunday as being “this nasty whatever”, particularly when the only FB friend who replied to her post stated, “went for tests today- waiting to see”, so hadn’t even gotten a diagnosis yet. I would learn the HARD WAY 2 days later, a day before her Oct. 19th Birthday with 2 words, ones that would spell the beginning of the EXTENDED-END, of our Coaching-Client relationship.
THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL
Despite a stressful homeless situation & a daily dosage of Adderall generic I take as an adult with ADD (carefully monitored), I normally sleep very well; but during this period I was dealing with a rare spell of insomnia & was having another fitful night in the car, wary of using the powerful Seroquel prescription just given me. Though with my ADD “impulsivity” trait, it was never a good idea for me to impulsively do anything online when tired & in-between my extended Adderall doses, I booted my cell to see that Shannon was also awake & active on Messenger, & chose to do a short text for some advice on a natural alternative before trying to get back to sleep:
Shannon 10-18-17: “Do sublingual, under the tongue...”
D: “Okay, have to do something, hope you solve your mystery illness that’s keeping you awake, was upset to read you couldn't eat anything. Will try to get at least a few hours sleep now before the gym.
I managed to fall back asleep; unaware there would be a real wake-up call in the form of Shannon’s subsequent Messenger replies I saw, when rebooting my cell a few hours later:
Shannon: “Mystery illness?!? What kind of comment is that?!?!? How about more like throwing up all night, sleeping for days and feeling like I'd rather be dead......it's called Norovirus.......nothing mysterious about it. What a weird backhanded comment, D. Not impressed at all….. I’m sending your payment back and ending this coaching relationship. Go to the website I recommended (BetterHelp), and let them know about your current situation. They offer over 50% off the therapy rate. There’s some deep issues going on there that I am in no place to ever help you with D, Sorry. All I’m going to say is this, and I’m calling a rest of 2017 time out afterwards until you start working through what’s going on with you. You will need a psychologist to talk to, which the website will give you, and a good friend which I know you have.... because you are trying to play too many opposing dynamics into a coaching relationship which will NEVER mesh together and work out. It’s nothing personal, I’m not rejecting you or turning my back, I’m doing damage control for both parties here and things need to be cut off and cut off now. … I’m unplugging now before things get worse. Please respect that. Take care.”
Well so much for her being “proud of” me, and “supporting me 100%”!
I was numb; what on earth just happened?? One day before her birthday, on the verge of hooking back up after all of my efforts & it ends over a well-meaning, 2 worded comment made out of concern?? With this abrupt cutting-off, my dependence on Shannon, one that had grown with the time-out, hit me square-in-the-face. In utter shock, I quickly made follow up Messenger & SMS replies to Shannon to no avail; & for only the 2nd time in my life since learning the Trust had lost the legal battle for the home in court, I wanted to reach for the Tanto Knife a former neighbor had given me for protection when I was locked-out, & join my family with a slit of my wrists. I posted a clear threat on FB with my intentions beforehand, & it was a combination of a call with my close friend, a call & prayer from a fellow Christian FB friend, & a posted comment from a FB friend & former Marine DI who point-blank called me a “Buffoon” for making such a threat, that angrily snapped me out of it. I am still unaware if Shannon saw my earlier posted threat.
A few hours later, I edited my FB post to state I’d experienced a “low moment”, & later that day, saw that Shannon had not blocked me on either of her 2 FB profiles, nor did I get a PayPal refund notice. So despite how far she went towards ending things this time around, there seemed to be hope. I had my close friend, who liked seeing the changes in me via Shannon’s Life Coaching but was frustrated in the pace, message Shannon as a go-between, & on the day of her Birthday she replied to him, where I learned Shannon had “unplugged” by temporarily blocking me on both her FB profile Messengers, & told him she was too sick to help anyone at that point; but she left things in limbo, giving nothing away to indicate either moving forward with me, or ending things. While he doesn’t share his private messages as a rule, he shared the harsh excerpt of Shannon’s reply that in essence, he agreed with:
From Shannon To D’s Close Friend E 10-19-17:
"He needs to get off his a**, let go of whatever he wants to call this pity-party attitude he has going on and decide to live life and take all its punches and keep going anyway. He needs to decide deep down that its time to live life on his own terms and accept his responsibility for choices (or lack of) that got him where he is and he is THE ONLY ONE who can do that and get out of it."
‘HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL’ & QUESTIONS ANSWERED
[IMO,initially, Shannon’s abrupt/intense response seemed more like another frustrated overreaction based on the festering of all that came before, something that in her defense, would be the BEST-CASE ASSUMPTION to ANYONE]. And that with Shannon’s STRONG emphasis on integrity & accountability, she would turn it around within a few days as she had the 1st time, within minutes. But as the days slowly passed with no response & the emotional dust settled, I slowly dwelled on the minor red-flags I’d initially ignored, but I started with Shannon’s intense response:
Her reply to my close friend was in sharp contrast to the “normal”, supportive, protective, & professional behavior Shannon had previously displayed as my Life Coach, either online or by phone, even when she was clearly upset with me, revealing impatience with my slow-but-steady progress. Because of the “wonderful things” she did, I tried to ignore this “woman behind the curtain” just revealed to me; still, in going over her abrupt/intense response, I couldn’t ignore what were not minor red-flags, but IMO, GAPING HOLES:
Despite being tired & in-between my meds dosage, the “mystery illness” comment was made out of sincere concern for Shannon’s well-being, was in NO WAY P/A, or anything that could be normally construed as insulting or disrespectful. If I had more “deep issues” than the P/A she was in “no place to help me with in any way”, or “opposing dynamics that will NEVER mesh together and work out”,WHY had she been planning to move forward with me, anyway?? How would I’d known of Shannon’s Norovirus self-diagnosis, an infection the Mayo clinic site states lasts no more than 72 hours (http://mayocl.in/2FoBUMd ), NOT the 9 days & counting of Shannon’s prior “nasty whatever”comment that I went by in writing “Mystery illness”??? And what sense did it make that Shannon was ending things & refunding my payment, but then also taking a time-out, checking back in the next year?? Overreaction aside, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this time something was seriously “off”, the WORST-CASE ASSUMPTION.
Confused, hurt & disheartened, but in WAY too deep to let go, in addition to my closest friend, I got my Attorney, & Trust’s Trustee, both who had seen the steady, positive changes in me via Shannon, to send her un-whitewashed emails of support on my behalf, though I sensed skepticism of a positive outcome from all 3. But the rules of integrity & accountability Shannon had presented to me & others held her to a higher standard, creating the pedestal I put her up on, & I felt that if ANYONE could/would turn things around where the average person couldn’t/wouldn’t, it was my “Angel Coach”, Shannon. However [IMO, whether by manipulative design, being conflicted, or defective mental reasoning], the “will she, or won’t she?” Limbo Shannon created made each passing day stomach-churning, deepening my dependence even more than the 1st time-out had, with my constant email checking for a possible PayPal refund to end things. Until I saw something via PayPal, our contract remained active, forcing me to continue the reinstated monthly payments as per our contractual/verbal agreements, Shannon maintaining her Limbo by holding them in her PayPal account reserve, without cashing-out to her bank account.
In what seemed another timely blessing when most needed, I reconnected with a young business professional I’d befriended earlier that year, who went abroad just as I contracted with Shannon; he had offered me support upon learning I lost my 1st coach, but also forced me to admit my foot-in-mouth error in bringing up his secret to him. After bringing him up to date with my situation & current estrangement with Shannon, absolute professional that he was, he tried to shake me awake with reality-checks of just how unprofessional Shannon’s behavior was, the inconsistency created by her personal issues & ailments used as an extended excuse not to connect with clients (a couple of days fine, NOT weeks!); but was particularly galled at her “unplugging”, which to him, was just another form of the same, abusive silent treatment that Shannon herself had accused my 1st coach of. But in skimming over my extensive SMS conversations with Shannon, he once again insisted I accept liability on my-end, for expecting too much from Shannon, & how lop-sided the “give & take” (as Shannon stated) had been in my favor.
With this, came the realization that despite having been Caregiver to both my parents the last years of their lives 24/7, my current homeless situation had turned me from a selfless giver & scrapper to a self-serving “victim” at times, a bitter pill to swallow. So I chose to do Shannon’s last PR assignment request, of which I also arranged 2 comp photo shoots for Shannon with major fitness photographers in Canada, & the U.S. respectively, after whatever 2018 Bodybuilding contest Shannon chose to enter. I combined this with a sincere, written apology & owning-up for errors on my-end, sending a copy of the pdf to Shannon via my close friend, who I had read first so he could ensure Shannon it was not manipulative; below is an excerpt of my apology:
Shannon 7-30-17: “D, I think lost about 15lbs ....eek!” (3.Shannon-6 Days Post 100-Day Flu Symptoms- Same captioned pic).
Shannon 7-30-17: “D, I think lost about 15lbs ....eek!” (3.Shannon-6 Days Post 100-Day Flu Symptoms- Same captioned pic).
From D’s 2nd Assignment Pdf Sent To Shannon:
“In looking over the texts again in general, I realized that the ratio of Give and Take was incredibly lop-sided in my favor… and that … wallowing in my situation had turned me into a self-pitying succubus, and I couldn’t be more sorry....This is why I felt it was important for you to know that I “get this” before you made your final decision…I’M the one who blew things with my actions, accept full liability, and cannot blame you for wanting out… I would only want you to move forward with me, NOT because you feel obligated to do so… but because YOU WANT TO. I thank you and bless you for all you have done Coach... and I pray that I will be able to continue calling you Coach. –D”
My close friend approved of, & sent the attached 2nd pdf to Shannon via email, & to my happy surprise, Shannon replied to him immediately:
From Shannon To D’s Close Friend E 11-5-17:
Hope you are doing well. I’m on round 3 with this flu, possibly caught something else at the tail end. Thank you for being such a good friend to D. –Shannon”
Except for Shannon change of diagnosis from Norovirus to just the flu, she maintained her “limbo stick dance” of giving nothing away in her reply; still, it was a sign of the caring Shannon I knew & wanted back, strongly hinting of a reaching-out to me by her soon, when she felt better. The next morning Shannon posted a selfie on FB, the very first pic of her that I could honestly say she looked really bad, something she herself saw, since she removed it a few minutes later right as I had shared it with my close friend via SMS, uploading a quick IOS iMovie selfie slide-show in its place. The iMovie postings continued through late December, as her appearance improved (7. Shannon- ‘I’m on round 3 with this flu…’ (11-6-17), & (8.Shannon McDowell FB & Online Video Montage-https://youtu.be/edOON-AmBSs).
But with Shannon’s strong hint, came a burst of renewed hope, along with a 2-week burst of energy that I used to do things everyone (including Shannon) felt I’d procrastinated on towards fixing my situation, like tracking down an available room, & also continued work on Shannon’s belated birthday gift-project. When seeing Shannon active on FB again (she does several posts once or twice-a-week, as a rule), visiting her folks in Calgary, & doing PR on her 2 FB profiles, expressing exhaustion of “putting herself out there” for make-up work, I willingly shared her posts as per the promised PR services, the best being a post where she tried to downplay complaints that she did mostly “Selfies”, though she never acknowledged anything I posted or shared for her via “likes”, & hid the “mentions “off her timeline (9 (a.) Shannon FB 'We do Selfies… (10-31-17).
Unfortunately, she had a “relapse” at the same time she posted a hint of dealing with [IMO, ending an off-on personal relationship], which meant more delays in hearing from her just when it seemed as she was close to responding. I then lost my momentum, fearing too much time had pass for even Shannon to comfortably respond. It also gave me more time to focus on what I HADN’T wanted to, the “off” aspect of Shannon’s abrupt/intense response based on my “mystery illness” comment, the Messenger-strings that I shared with my close friend & young business friend who both agreed with my opinion, that it was an overreaction on Shannon’s part.
So with no desire to ruin the “mystique” of “Angel Coach Shannon” as I had with my 1st coach, BUT with those GAPING HOLES back in-my-face, I felt it necessary to bend my “no-research” rule on Shannon, initially to answer ONE, gnawing question regarding Shannon’s inconsistency due to her ailments, & Holistic Self-Rxing that her abrupt/intense response made belatedly clear, was a sore-point. It came down to this; WHY WAS SHANNON SO AVERSE TO SEEING A DOCTOR?? Canada’s stringent privacy laws & Shannon’s own online privacy-guarding diligence meant an outside-the-box approach with my research skills, to find an answer. Earlier, I’d wondered if Canada’s “Free Health Coverage” excluded specialists; but a Canadian IFBB Pro WPD competitor FB friend who lived in B.C., quickly straightened me out on that: From A Canadian WPD IFBB Pro 10-20-17:
“B.C. medical covers all doctors, hospital stays etc. … [IPO Sounds to me there may be some cognitive stuff going on as well.] You can’t help someone who’s not willing to help themselves, unfortunately…”
In telling her how my legal battle & subsequent homelessness had cost me relationships with those who couldn’t relate, Shannon indicated to me that her ailments over the years, had compelled her to cut friends loose:
Shannon 10-10-17: “I have a bunch of chronic health issues that have been around since 1994. Some people will try to be understanding and some people just don’t get it. If you explain your situation to them and they are not receptive to it, kick them to the curb. And give them your two cents too, don’t hold back, their purposeful ignorance earned it.”
Though a bit squirrely being in stalker-mode, with this in mind, I painstakingly went through Shannon’s list of FB friends in the fitness industry for any tagged pics or online videos with Shannon to find anyone who once looked to be close but not currently friended, tagged, or mentioned by her, willing to risk Shannon’s fierce wrath if she possibly learned they shared info on her, & after a few weeks of brick-wall responses, I messaged a former friend of Shannon’s who had known her intimately for years, who replied Monday of Thanksgiving week with THE ANSWER I needed, but in trying to maintain Shannon’s mystique, one that I’d also tried to avoid:
From Shannon’s Former Friend 11-20-17:
Sorry to hear about your unfortunate situation and dealings with Shannon. I will let you know that after years of friendship we are no longer friends... She cut me off as she did you. Life Coach? Monthly discount? I know all too well about her “illnesses” her self-diagnosis and her self-medication practices.
I don’t want to talk bad or put down anyone, therefore all I can tell you is that Shannon is [IPO, “more likely to be dealing with MENTAL ILLNESS], which contributes to other issues. Any help I or others have tried or try to give her are unwelcome and met with anger and resistance… She doesn’t like to be questioned, she wants sympathy. Find another Life Coach. One that has a degree, an office, and a life that mimics what a Life Coach coaches. Sorry, that is all I am able to share. All the best to you!”
And so, it was the WORST-CASE ASSUMPTION.
IMO,with every “get well soon” wish, questions to Shannon on if she would, or had seen a doctor, expressing my honest opinion about her self-Rxing, culminating with the “mystery illness” comment with her eruption & “unplugging”, I had unknowingly inched my way towards crossing THE BOUNDARY in Shannon’s eyes. She had hidden the full extent of her Holistic fervor, self-aware enough to know how it would look to people who didn’t know her well enough like me, particularly when I earlier informed her that my late ex (a female bodybuilding legend) with untreated mental issues from childhood to her untimely death, was a hard-boiled Egghead similar to Shannon, who defiantly did the very same thing with her self-Holistic-Rxing over seeing a doctor. [So part of the “mystery illness” was solved]; but as credible, gracious, & as cautious the former friend’s info seemed in nature, I remained in denial, blind to just how unhealthy things had become, defending Shannon to myself & others (occasionally at the top of my voice), with my simple Shaker outlook that “things could come round right”. & I recalled Shannon’s own advice on taking only one person’s word about another in the fitness industry:
Shannon 7-26-17: “Look up what “flying monkeys” are in the slang dictionary. Use discernment when it comes to these things.” Based on all of the good about Shannon & the good done for me, I would need a 2ND PERSON’S INPUT FOR A CONFIRMATION, & more than just one, direct “off-response” from Shannon; besides, [IMO, this could have been a rare slip from the otherwise “normal” Shannon] (who had ALWAYS sounded like the Shannon seen in the video montage intro, during our phone chat sessions), of which she could regain control. There were also contrasting takes on Shannon from those who interacted with her during competitions backstage, who I messaged: From a Canadian IFBB Figure Pro on Shannon, when learning she had to miss the 2017 Vancouver Pro/Am:
“Isn’t she volunteering?? She usually does… She’s always back stage, she’s been there helping us ladies.. She’s a great gal…”
From a Canadian WPD competitor who competed against Shannon at the 2014 Krack Klassic, Shannon’s very first win:
“I don’t know much about her, just never got that right vibe with her… When I competed with her she wasn’t friendly and didn’t talk to anyone. When I congratulated her, she just nodded her head.”
Still, as much as I didn’t like it, her former friend’s suggestion “find another Life Coach... with a degree...” raised more questions than the 1st one I’d restricted myself to asking, & took me back to Shannon’s educational background & her fitness credentials. I messaged the former friend of Shannon’s claim she got her B.A. in Media Arts from ACAD in Calgary (https://www.acad.ca). From Shannon’s Former Friend 11-20-2017:
“For the record, she may very well have a degree-I just don’t recall ever in the years of friendship, her discussing having one. I don’t want to insinuate anything.” And so, it was back to stalker-mode.
Subsequent Googling showed the only publicly available educational info on Shannon, as an alumnus of Lord Beaverbrook High School in Calgary, Class of 1991 (https://old-friends.co/school.php?s=16356#1991). And as expected, the ACAD Alumni Department rep I emailed couldn’t verify any educational info on Shannon’s without her written consent. It was the very next day, when revisiting one of Shannon’s 2 Linked-in profiles I’d previously viewed just before her birthday, that I got a SHOCK: Under “Education”, I saw she had gifted herself by listing a “Bachelor’s Degree, Arts Entertainment, and Media Management”from ACAD in 2017!!! (9 (c). Shannon McDowell's Linked-in Educational Background Screencap (ACAD)) To me, this was the moment that Shannon’s “Wings” slowly began to tarnish.
ACAD offers a “Media Arts” program which Shannon had listed as majoring in her bio everywhere else; but NOT one in “Arts Entertainment, and Media Management”. NOR could I find an ACAD satellite course Shannon could have taken from her place in Vancouver, in which to complete such an ACAD degree program in 2017. And most college students know, that Arts programs (along with Pre-Med that Shannon tried earlier), are among some of the most intensive majors, NOT for the faint-of-heart. So how could Shannon have juggled college with all else she claimed to have dealt with in 2017?? With no clear answer, I chose to put a different question to ACAD via their social media page about Shannon’s “B.A. Degree” & mentioned major before I let it go; & now questioning Shannon’s exact length of employment with Whole Foods CMB, as possibly opposed to the “6-7 years” she told me it took to become self-employed from her founding year of 2007 for SLM Bodybuilding FITHOUSE, I asked a current Whole Foods CMB associate on their social media page, if they could make a basic inquiry without breaking the rules.
I knew that Shannon simply followed the Holistic WHC concept without any kind of certification, but she lists herself as a “certified CanFitPro Trainer, Personal Training Specialist (PTS) & Personal Nutrition Candidate (PN). CanfitPro is a very popular Canadian Fitness Certification program owned by the controversial GoodLife Fitness clubs that dominates Canada’s health scene similar to Wal-Mart, because their certification-process is simple (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GoodLife_Fitness, & http://www.starting-a-personal-training-business.com/can-fit-pro-review.html). It is unknown if Shannon has renewed her required, annual CanFitPro certifications for 2018.
SHANNON’S “HOLIDAY FEAST”
As Thanksgiving passed like a blur into early December, I feared Shannon would follow through on her “unplugging” plan by responding after the New Year, which would’ve simply crushed me if she cut me loose then, particularly when my 1st coach blind-sided me by doing the same thing right after New Year’s Day 2017. By this time, ALL who had supported me before had ZERO expectations of a positive outcome including my close friend, who had responded when I shared Shannon’s former friend’s response about her with, From E To D 11-20-17:
“D, this does make a lot of sense to me.”(I didn’t get what this meant at the time).“It is best if you move on”. Despite this, I asked him to act as go-between a 3rd & final time by emailing Shannon a plea to respond to me before the 31st, which he did do, though afterwards he admitted feeling wary in sending it, aware of Shannon’s former friend’s response to me of her [unbalanced nature], only doing it as a favor to a friend he knew was dealing with a lot of pain. With this last email, ALL that could have been done by myself & my supporters to persuade Shannon HAD been (9(b). 3 ‘Emails of Support Sent To Shannon’); IT ALL CAME DOWN TO SHANNON.
For a short time, my focus shifted to an offline problem when the car I called “home” started breaking down on the road, & after barely making it into an auto shop, I got the bad news diagnosis the Transmission was shot & needed rebuilding. This happened just days before the Trust got an expected lump-sum check from the state, based on unclaimed funds of the late Trustee’s estate as a form of recovery being enough to settle some accounts, including Shannon’s remaining waived payments; but forced to pay-out over $1000 for a rebuild less than a week before Christmas, brought me no holiday cheer. I temporarily posted of my trouble on FB before removing it, sensing a falling back into the “pity-party” mode Shannon had accused me of.
Despite her “unplugging”, I had continued to cc Shannon as with the others with email updates & SMS messages, including news of the Transmission-issue, IMO, assuming she was reading them, if not responding. Then, to my absolute shock, I got a PayPal notification that Shannon sent a payment equaling 2 of the 3 months of payments I’d made to her, but with no corresponding note. Had this happened in October immediately after Shannon’s abrupt cutting-off, I would’ve taken this as the refund to end things, but it had dragged out so long I was now unsure, unless she made some kind of statement; [IMO,she may have kept one payment as a hint she would start working with me again in January]. So I texted Shannon with a direct plea not to leave me with a question-mark until the New Year as my 1st coach had, & to please reach-out to me with a final word on things with either a gracious “Yes” or “No” that me & my supporters could live with. Later that day, I got & opened what I thought would be an early “Stocking-Stuffer” in the form of an email response from Shannon, the one I had been praying for since mid-October:
From Shannon 12-16-17:
“It is time to stop blaming your 1st coach for for leaving, D. After what I have witnessed working with you, you need to start asking yourself why you choose to behave in difficult ways to others that make them not want to be around you. Read up on secure and insecure attachment styles, and BOUNDARIES!! I asked you to stop contacting me until 2018, like I explained in the last email to you. You have A LOT of thinking and figuring out to do about yourself on your own. Respect people’s boundaries, including mine!! Especially if you want something from them. I’m extending the “no contact” to the end of January now. Stop whining like a child to everyone about how horrible things are and instead act like the decent man you are by owning the effects your own behaviour brings in your life. Seriously. You are a smart person so I don’t buy for a second you don’t know anything about it. No more contacting me!! PERIOD!!”
WOW!! I had been prepared for either a “Yes” or “No”, but NOT a lump-of-coal like THIS. IMO a pure, out-of-left-field attack, with Shannon simply picking up where she last left off with her mindset that I was playing “the victim” she wouldn’t be “the enabler” for, ending with a blind accusation I was somehow involved in violating her boundaries as ammo, without elaborating. And despite writing everything short of “No”, she left things in limbo by extending the “no contact” (“unplugging”). A “Fallen Angel”, perhaps?
[IMO,this seemed like a by design cop-out from one who felt too embarrassed to turn things around after having stated too much & letting it go on for much too long, with NO WAY to address it in manner to keep the Angelic image Shannon had created for herself intact, despite earlier stating she would hold herself “accountable”as she would with me & everyone else.] So it came to NO surprise when going to her FB profiles, to see I’d been blocked on both.
This time I wasn’t sad, I was LIVID, feeling duped. And what of my 2nd pdf to her with the apology & acceptance of liability?? After giving my close friend & the other supporters the news (who weren’t at all surprised), knowing she’d probably blocked me on every other means of communication with her, I used my iPad Messages where Shannon was not used to hearing from me, emailing a counter-attack I knew would take HER by surprise, stating I would file “an official complaint” (intended for CanFitPro); regretfully, I ended the email with the B-word. I asked one of my mutual FB friends of Shannon’s to share anything she posted that seemed like a reference to me, which she does as a rule when dealing with personal issues. She did 3 such FB posts over the next 2 days, leaving out the fact she had blocked me before I’d sent her the iMessage (10. Collage of “Shannon's FB Posts Based On D's Angry Reply -Dec.18th & 17th 2017).
After sending the iMessage, I went on FB Messenger to inform one of the few FB friends I had entrusted with the estrangement with the bad news-update, a well-known U.S. Fitness Industry Coach of FBB & WPD competitors. When she made comments that indicated knowing more about Shannon then she previously stated for not personally knowing her, I asked for a “fessing-up”, & learned she had made inquiries out of concern for me I knew nothing of, until that moment. When asking for more info, she gave me an assessment of Shannon, similar to Shannon’s former friend who the U.S. Coach didn’t know, or what had been revealed to me, but unlike the diplomatic former friend, she was blunt & to the point:
From U.S. Coach 12-15-17:
“In re Shannon. Unless you are a Professional Life Coach with a strong background as such, your ability to properly help someone else is often impaired when you yourself are effed up. [IPO “I believe she is majorly effed up…] Oh well. She is not well respected as being able to positively affect her own life and career. She is also not particularly well respected as a trainer. This is from two Canadian sources….”
So out-of-left field, a 2ND PERSON’S INPUT FOR A CONFIRMATION.
IMO, FINALLY it became clear, that “Angel Coach Shannon” had left the SLM Bodybuilding- FITHOUSE building WITHOUT having taken flight, leaving in her place “The Portrait of Dorian Gray”, [slowly revealingALL of the things that those from her former friend, to my close friend & supporters could see before that I couldn’t], my vision blinded by the pristine image Shannon had presented to me & I’d blinded myself to see, & it was NOT a pretty sight.
Finally fully awake, “un-bitten”, & resigned to the [realities about Shannon] & the unhealthy situation, I simply wanted closure for peace of mind, & move on. Once the state lump-sum check from the late Trustee’s estate unclaimed funds arrived & the Transmission job was covered, the Trustee kindly allotted some funds for me to refund Shannon via PayPal for the 2 monthly payments temporarily waived for the iPad purchase, except for the October payment I’d already made that she had not refunded me despite having performed no coaching services that month (I’d considered the September P/A assignment part of her active services). For all he’d done for me before our falling-out, I ended things in good-standing publicly with my 1st Coach, enabling him to maintain the illusion of his life for sake of his business. And though I didn’t believe Shannon could’ve possibly gotten wind of any inquiries made by me or on my behalf, & felt CanFitPro should know the truth towards take actions against Shannon to protect unsuspecting clients even more emotionally vulnerable than I, wanted to do the same with Shannon for what she had done for me during the short period of time she was of [sound mind & body] to do. So I used the PayPal refund note as an Olive Branch extension towards closure to quietly end things on my-end to leave things in good standing with no animosity or bitterness, apologizing for the un-Christian name I had called her out of anger, & waiving any need for her to refund the October payment.
What I got from Shannon instead without even a thank you for the payments (using an email she hadn’t yet blocked me from), was IMO, an overblown sequel to Shannon’s initial shocking attack entitled, “The Long Good-Bye”, a complete deconstruction of anything she could do for me as a Life Coach= BUPKIS, exaggerating ALL I had done to make her miserable. This was Shannon’s final unhealthy holiday feast of drama for us BOTH to feed off, which I regret having joined her in the partaking of, if only for a short while:
From Shannon 12/20/17: “D, this has nothing to do with you "owning up" for anything. It goes much deeper than that. This is about having empathy and respect that I am.. doing this mostly out of “paying it forward” and sincerely helping. You are acting as if the world owes you something and that I owe you something, which I DO NOT. (Actually, we had a 12 month contract). “It is absolutely out of line that you are trying to put all this responsibility of your wellness on ME! It’s YOUR responsibility and yours alone. I have given you way more than what was outlined in the original contract, and you just want more and more….On top of that, you act like a spoiled child with these depreciating "digs" when you don’t get your way, and it’s become too much. You are expecting me to save you when I cant… Only YOU can save you. You're expecting me to fill many roles in your life that I am not made to fill. Have you ever thought for one second how your actions and bad attitude have affected me? You had a shifty deal in life, but you know what, join the club…Rise above it, the alternative is a painful unmanageable existence, and people will walk away or else you will drag them down too. I can’t deal with this attitude of entitlement. What you are getting is usually $500 a month instead of $xxx, so you need really to correct how you are perceiving things because you are waaaay out of line…”
One big low-light was her response to the BEST-CASE ASSUMPTION that she had over-reacted, proof she had read the 2nd pdf: “…and these things I make a "big deal" about is unacceptable - what it is really, is you showing me disrespect.”
So Shannon had truly been insulted over my “mystery illness” comment, unknowingly questioning her self-diagnosis, further confirmation of the WORST-CASE ASSUMPTION.
“PLEASE google and read up on:
•Insecure vs secure attachment
•Toxic ways to communicate
Because if you dont, and dont identify how your communication methods are causing negative outcomes, I cant help you.”
As with the P/A, Shannon’s suggestion I research terms to figure things out on my own as an assignment, but leaving me without going into detail on how, what, when, & why, was inappropriate & had the potential of messing with my head if I hadn’t wised-up after the P/A assignment. This implied specific things I’d messaged or had done for Shannon to reach such conclusions, things she would have included in her notes on me; so why not just elaborate instead of making broad allegations for me figure out myself?? This falls under 2 of THE BIGGEST Life Coaching “don’ts”:
1. Suggesting to a client that they have particular issues without having the proper background or credentials in which to do so.
2. Forcing clients to do assignments they don’t care to do under threat of ending the coaching relationship.
THEY SHOOT HORSES, DON’T THEY??
The back & forth volleying continued, with these low-light excerpts:
Me:12-20-17 “How many times did I tell you I accept full liability in having dropped the ball, and how many times have I and the others sang your praises for what you were doing for me. I told you most of what you just told me in the 2nd PDF, that I realized I had become a self-pitying succubus in my situation and apologized for it. And what about, R’s, E's and J’s emails, did you read those?”
Shannon: “Just read up on those things I mentioned. You have to earn this, not saying that I'm some "big to do", I'm not saying that at all...” But wasn’t she??
[IMO, “You have to kiss-up”], she meant. Naturally I refused, this was simply a rehash of her P/A assignment request in lieu of us hooking-up in mid-October, & look what happened there?!! It had already been too hard to turn things around where they stood before she responded with her attack & subsequent FB blocking, distancing herself even further. I’d done ALL I could to get back into her good-graces, just short of kissing-up. If I had made her SO miserable I replied, then why not just pull the trigger & end it?
D: “...as you've admitted how this has affected you as well, it's clear this is making us both miserable. You had everyone's blessing to say yes or no with no in-between some time ago, and I know you're conflicted so you doing that is hard for you, but in doing so it's making things worse. No more back and forth, life's, too short.”
Again, I brought up the sent emails of support, my PR Assignment/Apology 2nd pdf, & the 2018 comp shoots I’d arranged for her:
Shannon: “Sorry you aren't making any sense. If you are taking that medication you may want to talk to that doctor about it..”
A reference to my Adderall use, something Shannon knew of from the first, based on my Assessment done for her & had never complained about until now, revealing her Holistic Anti-Adderall sentiment. She was also cc emailed info of the ADD Doctor’s planned, tapered dosage from 30mg to 20mg, more out of concern for my suicide threat.
“You are extremely defensive and insulting for no reason. This isn't like you … You are asking me to basically work for free, but you aren't willing to put any work into your coaching. That makes absolutely no sense. You are not acting like yourself, unless previously that was just an act. You are being mean and disrespectful. I dont think you deserve a response anymore. I'm very disappointed in this bizarre angry behavior. Get off those meds if you are on them.”2, straight hits about my Adderall usage, & she grouses about “digs”??
I had held onto my “Pollyanna hope” because up to this email exchange, I’d only had ONE example of the [IMO,“other Shannon” that her former friend & the U.S. coach had messaged me of before she cut me off, thankful that both had spared me the details on exactly what they knew or had learned about Shannon’s possible mental illness]; even her initial attacking response didn’t sound “off”, only the blind accusation she used as a means to block me on her FBs (she NEVER ELABORATED), leading me to believe it was just a convenient excuse. But NOW… I simply couldn’t believe this: [IMO, a mixture of vindictively “playing me”, a still-caring Life Coach, & being “NON COMPOS MENTIS!”]. How could I play the 3-Monkey “No Evil” Card with THIS?
[IMO,based on her ranting of all that came before, Shannon was making clear to me that after our initial fall-out back in September, there had NEVER really been a rare, 2nd chance given me for redemption, she HAD been “one & done” with me then. Not having forgiven or forgotten, Shannon had merely put her own frustrations on the back-burner with an interim promise to hook-up with me if I did the assignment after 3 days of back-and-forth, getting rid of me to focus on finding a place to re-locate to in time. Once she finished her move & saw I’d actually completed the assignment, I feel Shannon was sincere in her professional willingness to move forward as promised, in keeping with the noble intent that put her on a higher plain than everyone else. But once she started feeling ill, lying in bed with hours to think, along with the other reasons I’ve already speculated on, Shannon’s buried anger for what had come before, slowly festered to the surface, the “mystery illness” comment perceived as a “jab”= disrespect=the last straw.
IMO, Shannon’s personal intent to stick to her “unplugging” until 2018 OVERRODE her noble intent with me, feigning an eventual reaching-out with my close friend simply to run the clock, perceiving all pleas & messages sent to her, NOT based on a client needing his Life Coach back, but a “victim” who had insulted her with “little jabs” (most that only SHE could see), personally disrespecting her wishes NOT to contact her. Even the PR Assignment/Apology 2nd pdf, came-off as a form of manipulation to Shannon, beyond my close friend’s insight, one she ignored to excuse & justify her rant; to feel “the reciprocating respect from me that was necessary for her” at this point (“You have to earn this...” ), only groveling would do.
IMO, Shannon’s “positive” social media posts about giving, integrity, & doing the right thing, are NOT a part of Shannon “being real” (though it may be her “intent” to be), just an image she promotes, a variation of the same, “unreal” “Life can be a day at the beach” rhetoric that other Life Coaches use. But even Cary Grant wished he were Cary Grant, never forgetting that his big screen image was just that, an image; IMO Shannon seems to have a problem remembering this about hers. But she wasn’t conflicted now, she didn’t want closure, only more of the same, toxic drama she created & fed off on to exist with others before me, with me now serving as her dependent whipping boy-of-the-moment that she could suck, then leave high & dry, “Vengeance be thy name”.
IMO, the BITTER TRUTH: Shannon not only knew all the negative terms she had me researching & accused me of, she LIVED THEM!!]
D: “So, now you’re indicating you made the assignment request as an active coach after- the- fact?...”
Shannon: “I’m taking a time out, like I told you. The future depended on you and how you behaved towards me and whether you would start being more respectful and act APPROPRIATELY FOR A COACHING DYNAMIC….., but from what I have witnessed so far…....ummmm.. .”
How could she have witnessed ANYTHING to gauge towards making a final decision, with no allowed interaction??
“Do you think you are acting appropriate for a COACHING DYNAMIC, or are you somehow getting confused that this is dating or something OTHER THAN A COACHING RELATIONSHIP!!?”
Shannon’s Life Coaching was the ONLY thing I had realistically wanted & expected of her, being practical & old enough to know that wishful-thinking for more than (if not “OTHER THAN”), was just that. Having fallen deep under Shannon’s beautifully magic-spell only served to frustrate me more than make me feel good, since it was a reminder I had nothing to offer ANY woman in my life as it was. Besides, the spell had been broken, so I certainly wasn’t going to fan her narcissism by bringing up the subject at such a moment:
“All I see from you now, is a bitter person who is addicted to the victim role and is unable to take responsibilities for his actions and emotions... Consider this the last contact because I cant get through to you, and its just too frustrating hearing you go on and on contorting everything so you are the one hard done by.
It’s really sad, and from now on I've learned to be very VERY cautious helping people in a bad place. The only person you have to be angry at is yourself. And I would recommend refraining from trying to defame me, as these emails are more than enough evidence for litigation if you commit such acts.”
IMO, NO sweet tastes from her Life Coaching; NOT my growth, NO funny moments, NO respect, eggshell-walking, NOR any kudos given her, could provide Shannon with the satiation that her HUGE toxic holiday feast prepared for us both, could. I’d reached out to make peace with [one already at war with herself], & the last thing I wanted was to end things by hurting someone I had thought so highly of. But Shannon was hurting ME as she had in mid-October when I demeaned myself with the public suicide threat, & she now expected me to demean myself again in order to make HER feel respected & superior, a last-laugh before she “unplugged” for good. But [IMO, her defective mental reasoning] made Shannon miss three things:
1. The staying-power of my inner fire, re-ignited with HER help;
2. That I could proactively get info on her which of course, I did;
3. The “Confidentiality-Clause” in our contract (10(a). Confidentiality-Clause in D's Contract With Shannon (5-2-17).
The final course of Shannon’s replies, starting with the outrageous dangling of her Life Coaching-plum in my face, was all I could stomach; for ME, the feast was OVER.
She had done & written all she could short of closing-the-door, leaving it to ME to do; so for what was the ONLY time that she could rightly accuse me of being “mean and disrespectful”, I pulled-out my knife & fork, sticking them into Shannon with a very brutal assessment of her life & inconsistent coaching, based on what I’d learned from the inquiries, online research (including info unrelated to this Rip-Off Report), & from my own interaction with her, with a reminder of the clause, ending it with this statement:
D: “Just keep in mind Shannon, that you had a merde-load of opportunity to make this continue or end pleasantly, and have brought what is coming on yourself.”
Clearly un-prepared for the taste of the after-feast mint I offered her, Shannon dished-out her final reply:
Shannon: “I’m human. You're belligerently out of line. STOP CONTACTING ME!”
Thus, the final revelation of Shannon’s Angel-Status: She was of this earth, AFTER-ALL.
From what my mutual FB friends shared IMO, I knew my final reply had hit her HARD, since as usual, Shannon immediately referenced her exchange with me the next day with posts on her 2nd FB profile, the first so brutal, even Shannon realized it needed to be removed:
Shannon on FB 12-21-17: “….. I am also 100% supportive for every one of my FB friends to block (monkey brained) trolls who have zero control over their emotions, deny any accountability for their butt hurt delusions and think it’s everyone else’s responsibility to fix them while they get their “victim poor me” fix. Ummm…. yah WTH, SMH, GAGME”
IMO, This followed with 2 posted FB video clip references to her suggestion my kindness was “just an act”, about “letting go” based on her “Consider this the last contact” to me, & one after New Year’s, a semi-self-admission suggesting an understanding for those who have “hidden issues” (11. Shannon's 'Post-Feast' FB Posts Screencap Collage 12-21-17 Thru 1-16-18). But surely, I’d buried my head in my hands & cried just as much as she; how then, could she forget that I was human, too?
Belatedly, the answers on Shannon based on my last two inquiries trickled in after the New Year: From ACAD Social Media Page Rep.on Shannon’s ACAD “B.A. Degree” 1-8-18:
“Currently, we do not offer a Bachelor's Degree in Arts, Entertainment + Media Management…. it's ALL puffery.” Thankfully, ACAD removed my Wiki entry for Shannon.
From Whole Foods CMB Social Media Page Rep. on Shannon’s last date of employment there 1-10-18:
“She has not worked at Whole Foods since 2016.”
IMO, the 2nd answer meant it took Shannon about 9 years, not the “6-7 years” she had texted me to become fully self-employed from her SLM Bodybuilding-FITHOUSE founding year of 2007. And it was clear she was having a very difficult time being her own boss for the very first time, going into her businesses’ 10-year anniversary. I could accept her embellishing the exact period it took her to succeed on her own by 2 years, but a blatant lie about her educational background, in addition to conjuring up a phony online degree for a non-existent major?? NO “integrity” there.
Though I’ve already shared what are gross understatements on why Shannon McDowell aka “SlimMcD” of SLMbodybuilding FITHOUSE should NOTBE CURRENTLY RELIEDUPON for her Life Coaching Services, for the Rip-Off Report record:
1. INCONSISTENT PERFORMANCE OF LIFE COACHING SERVICES
Love it or not, a Big Mac tastes the same way each time for one reason: CONSISTENCY. It’s one of THE KEYS to a successful business that McDonald’s learned early on, something that Shannon, despite her 4-year QA stint at Whole Foods, has yet to learn as a Life Coach, along with something an IFBB Pro WPD Competitor who is a full-time Realtor, stated on her FB profile recently: “The performed services are remembered LONG after the discount”.
SHANNON’SINCONSISTENCY was the catalyst for the conflict between Shannon & myself, & EVERYTHING that followed up to our falling out & estrangement, hindering my progress right at the moment I was turning the corner. While I had snapped out of, & stopped asking more from her, in the end, SHANNON WAS INCONSISTENT in performing just the basic services she had offered, as to where even the nicest, most understanding of Shannon’s clients (including client-friends she mentioned to me), would have lost patience with her at some point. Until such time that Shannon can perform her services in a CONSISTENT manner, NOT only for benefit of her clients, but for her OWN benefit 1st & foremost as a shining-example her clients can believe in & follow, her amazing gifts are simply being wasted, along with any client’s payments to her.
2. UNORTHODOX APPROACH WITH NO GUIDELINES/ BOUNDARIES, & PERIODIC UNPROFESSIONAL BEHAVIOR, DUE TO “HEALTH ISSUES”
Shannon’s unorthodox approach as a Life Coach, combined with my particular situation, should NOT have compelled her to neglect establishing guidelines & BOUNDARIES crucial for successful Life Coaching relationships, before working with me; on the contrary, it was even more essential Shannon do so in my case, since she had no prior experience or knowledge in dealing with a Homeless client, with the physical & emotional variables that would be involved. It certainly would have avoided some of the problems that developed, later on.
But, THE MOST important BOUNDARY Shannon should have established & maintained was the BOUNDARY WITH HERSELF, to properly separate the personal from the professional as a Life Coach at ALL times, despite the need to create a comfort-level of trust with a client. NO Life Coaches’ life is perfect, & they have their own issues, but the most successful ones balance their personal lives so they do not intrude on a professional coaching relationship with a client, negatively affecting their judgment & in turn, negatively affecting their clients. Shannon states on one of her FB profiles, “Don’t define me by my circumstances, define me by my intent”. With her philanthropic intent, Shannon agreed to the discounted monthly payments for a one year period as per our contract, & I was entitled to the same, professional services & courtesy as any other client of Shannon’s. It was through no fault of mine that her fortunes changed (along with her attitude) as she developed “ailments” & started losing work, I was only one client of what was supposed have been enough clients to sustain her business, & I had been understanding & flexible during the 3-month waiver period Shannon had initially allowed to lessen my financial burden when making the iPad purchase.
There is simply NO EXCUSE for Shannon’s UNPROFESSIONAL BEHAVIOR intimating that a client has particular issues they need to research on their own, but without being direct or specifying details that led them to believe a client has “issues” ; claim to end the coaching relationship with a corresponding refund, manipulate the client by not following through, but snubbing & keeping things up in-the-air via a time-out with no resolution, forcing the unsure client to continue making payments “in the hopes of”. In addition, if Shannon in fact, had seen me make the FB posted threat of suicide with the coaching relationship still active (as per the contract’s Confidentiality-Clause), she had a professional obligation to either reach out to me, or immediately contact the proper authorities to ensure my safety & well-being, over assuming it was a manipulative act on my-part. I meant it at the time, & one must ALWAYS TAKE A CLIENT’S THREAT OF SUICIDE SERIOUSLY, most particularly when it is BASED ON THEIR ACTIONS.
Where Shannon’s INCONSISTENCY was the catalyst, “HEALTH ISSUES” was the “Elephant-in-the-room”, Shannon’s increasing priority over my progress & welfare as a client along with her other clients, since she mentioned “losing work”. Shannon has periods of clarity & enough self-awareness of an [existing problem] she insists on Holistically Rx-ing herself, the only Life Coaching advice in “taking care of oneself” she uses consistently, but to the extreme. Whatever type of “Head Coach” Shannon mentioned she was seeing [IMO is/was? probably a Therapist, of whom I can easily picture Shannon angrily storming-out on if she being advised to seek a more proper & definitive diagnosis, equal to telling her what to do, something Shannon would NEVER tolerate from anyone. But Short of being legally ruled “incompetent”] in a Canadian Provincial Court, Shannon cannot be forced to submit to ANY medical treatment without her consent. [What was, or wasn’t done during her 2 ER stays, would also have been dependent on her signed-consent].
There is nothing wrong in using Holistic medicine & homeopathic remedies as part of a natural & healthy lifestyle (the latter still legal in Canada http://bit.ly/2DZzm2t), since most practitioners are usually of enough sound mind & body to know when modern medicine is a necessary evil (as Shannon had pretended to be with me). IMO, it is when those with defective mental reasoning believe it is the end-all, be-all, of which they have superior knowledge to heal themselves of every ailment, even over Holistic Doctors advice, where it becomes DANGEROUS. If Shannon was contained in her own little world as to where her self-Rx-ing did not affect others, then it would be her business & her right as a 45 year old adult. However IMO, when her beliefs & practices negatively affects others, in this case clients of her professional business who have contracted & relied on her services, then she has an absolute obligation & responsibility to have whatever issue she has treated properly by a professional. The “blind can’t lead the blind”, & if someone like me, who as Shannon described being “in a bad place” hooks up with her, unaware of what Shannon is capable of, unlike me, the end result could be tragic. It was the shock of her cutting me off & “unplugging” that led to my public threat suicide, when it was only a thought the 1st time right after the trust lost the home in court.
3. QUESTIONABLE BACKGROUND & CREDENTIALS.
Despite ignoring my countless memos that she had mine in CAPS, Shannon is big on “RESPECT”, & reading the U.S. Coach’s comments in this report that Shannon is not respected in general, or for her training services, will probably hit her the hardest. Next to her cutting me off, Shannon’s continual claim that I was being dis-respectful to her, was the most hurtful thing, due to what I’ve already stated is my great respect & support for women, & messed with my head in trying to figure out what I was doing wrong before Shannon’s former friend’s reply to me. I drove people crazy in singing Shannon’s praises in every other sentence, told her as such, & this, along with the fact that I had stopped doing the things she complained of once I worked on them, was immediately overlooked the moment she miss-read my words or actions as being disrespectful, showing her need for constant reassurance. But IMO, if Shannon wants respect, she needs to respect herself first to gain respect from others, & lying about one’s background & credentials, doesn’t help; she loses credibility, no matter how sound her advice may be. With what she knows, she could finish her studies for a valid degree & then some [if she takes responsibility to get the help she needs]. In fact, IMO her coming-out with the particular issue she has as it’s being treated, could serve as an example to others dealing with the same, earning her the respect & admiration she so desires. As stated earlier, I had planned to file a complaint against Shannon with CanFitPro (though not affiliated with Shannon’s Life Coaching services), based on her [IMO unstable health & well-being]; however, upon looking at their “Certified Fitness Professional Code of Ethics” pdf, (https://canfitpro.com/download_file/view/209), they frankly seemed somewhat skimpy to ensure they could be entrusted to seriously investigate, then hold Shannon accountable by taking any appropriate actions, the reason I ultimately chose to file this Rip-Off Report then share it with CanFitPro representatives; we’ll see what they have to say or do about the matter.
Drained after nearly a decade of drama with the legal fight for the home under trust in May of 2017, Shannon Lone McDowell was supposed to help me eliminate my issues as a Life Coach towards a rebuilding of my life, NOT add to them, nearly undoing all of her own good work in-the-process.
I dropped the ball by intentionally not researching Shannon, & unlike what both Shannon & I envisioned her to be, I was NO Angel in the matter initially, giving her some rough moments, leaned on her a bit too much without a real understanding of what Life Coaches do; & I mistakenly developed a dependence on her that grew, something Shannon recognized, but with her own issues [IMO, she partlyfed off at the same time that it overwhelmed her]. Despite some minor red-flags about Shannon, gaps in her performance, & tensions leading to our 1st time-out, Shannon’s great advice was working for me as I started turning the corner in my life, with changes clear to everyone. Just prior to hooking back up with Shannon, I was SO pumped & ready to follow her agenda, I would’ve climb the Himalayas in 2 weeks’ time HAD she asked me to; such was Shannon’s power & influence over me at that point, the reason me & my supporters pleaded for her to continue working with me. Unfortunately IMO, my obvious progress & kudos given her weren’t enough for Shannon, whose mindset bitterly zeroed-in on all that came before after my “mystery illness” comment, where it went from being about my needs, to Shannon’s. The irony here, is that her “unplugging” created the very damage she had meant to control, to the point of being irrevocable.
Wanting to avoid filing this report like the plague, I did all I could to make overtures of peace with Shannon into early January of the New Year, even using my “in pro per” legal experience to create & send her a “Mutual Rescission, Release & Covenant Not To Sue Agreement” pdf for us both to sign, that would also protect her private interests, but to no avail. In her final messages IMO, she literally thumbed her nose at me to file a complaint which is mindboggling, considering Shannon had ALL the leeway in the world to end this matter privately & professionally. Based on Rip-Off Report’s FAQ advice to be objective, I waited until my raw emotions had subsided before filing this report against Shannon, who IMO now sees me as not only someone playing the victim but as a “fake person; but a little over 3 months later, it’s STILL BEEN HARD for me avoid the personal aspects that are somewhat intertwined with Life Coaching. I was also concerned of the effect this might have on Shannon, since I learned my final comments hit her much HARDER than I’d ever expected. Despite everything, I still care about this woman very much, so I recently emailed Shannon with an apology for hurting her so badly, & revealed my now healed “love-bite”, so she would learn of it before everyone else did, here. Recent pics reveal Shannon to be even smaller than last year as compared to her peaked WPD look in 2016, with more of a Bikini body than that of a WPD competitor, which is what she had planned on going back to later this year; still, Shannon looks as beautiful & ageless as ever, you can’t take THAT away from her (12. Shannon-FB-7-15-16-As-Compared-To-Shannon-FB-3-1-18, 13. Shannon FB Cover & Most Recent Uploads (3-17th & 24th 2018), & 14. Shannon Volunteering). But as I’ve stated, IMO Shannon has enough self-awareness to make the proper choices towards taking care of her issues.
Just last weekend, after recently finding & liking some PR posts I did for her on my Instagram late last year before the fall-out that I will not remove (as they are a "thank you" for what she HAD done for me), an unblocking of me on her 2 FB profiles followed. This said, since I waived the October payment towards making peace, peace is the only request I am making from Shannon to resolve the matter specific to this report of her coaching contract with me, of which she can reach out to me for at any time.
As of this date of filing, I remain homeless, & though Shannon almost doused it soon-after she helped re-ignite it, my inner-fire still burns, growing stronger with hope & determination for my future. With no offense to the ones who conduct themselves professionally, after being 0 for 2 with those who I learned do not follow their own advice, I’m done with Life Coaches, & will try to iron-out the remaining issues myself. But if I DO see a Therapist in the near future as per Shannon’s advice, it WON’T be because of my homelessness.
This is SAD ALL-AROUND, & I can’t help but feel a bit sorry for Shannon for what could be. That Shannon is an incredibly gifted and highly intelligent person who has a lot to offer, there’s no question, I would be the 1st-in-line to state that, & at age 45, it’s not too late for her [IMO toget the help she needs to be the best she can be, then can help others do the same]. But her gifts are [IMO “skewed” by her defective mental reasoning], complicated by the mix of Shannon being an “Egghead” who at times, can be right, half-right, or not right at all, but thinks she’s right ALL of the time. And as anyone who grew up in school & was friends with an Egghead knows, you can’t tell them anything, they tell YOU! I would love to see a positive update about Shannon here, & will post one myself should if I learn of it, because I’m disabled myself & NO ONE should be discriminated against for having a disability if they acknowledge it, are being successfully treated for it, & it doesn’t “impair” their performance of services in running a business. That Shannon has shown she is capable of working at all means the potential is there, though I can’t see if/how she has been able to currently sustain her business [IMO under the circumstances].
Like myself before it was too late, most people who hire Life Coaches don’t have a clue as to what they are, the “do’s & don’ts”, or what is expected from the clients themselves towards changing their lives; problem is, there are a ton of links that could bend one’s mind in trying to make the right choice. So of the 25-30 online links I Googled on Life Coaching, I’ve shared the 7 links below, that helped me the most during my after-the-fact research; But PLEASE do your research BEFOREHAND. I can confirm Shannon’s quote of $500 monthly is generally accepted, or a flat $5000 package with lifetime follow-up support. And though I requested a one year contract for insurance, the average period for effectively Life Coaching a client to achieve their particular goal, is considered to be between 4-6 months, which makes it all the more frustrating to me that I was turning the corner at the 4-month mark before things started to fall-apart; at the time, Shannon had just started a “cottage visualization assignment” with me (cottages being my dream home), for wherever I wanted to relocate in California.
As stated at the beginning, this is an unusual Rip-Off Report that is not about lost payments or performed services per se, with 99% of Rip-Off Reports being about either one or the other. And because of the inevitable degree of personal investment necessary on both-ends, it makes Life Coaching tricky to gauge from a business/consumer standpoint, unlike Plumbing or Attorney services. But for what is most relevant to this Rip-off Report, it was my young business friend who early on, gave me the bottom-line that, regardless of the “inter-personal variable” involved, the 1st thing that both Shannon & I should have remembered (Shannon much more than I) but the 1st thing we both forgot: LIFE COACHING IS A BUSINESS, PERIOD.
Since I waived the October payment towards making peace, peace is still the only thing that I am requesting from Shannon here, to resolve the matter, of which she can reach out to me at any time to do. And to make this as fair possible,I hereby authorize Shannon to share in her Rebuttal, each, & every messaged comment of mine dated in order (along with its context), that she felt was P/A. In the future, she needs to show proof she has sufficiently pulled herself together enough to offer the services as specified in this Rip-Off report. But for the time-being:
SHANNON MCDOWELL SHOULD NOT BE RELIED UPON AS A LIFE COACH.
I’ll leave the final words to her former friend with her follow-up response to me, when I admitted my neediness for Shannon: From Shannon’s Former Friend 11-26-17:
“I am sorry for your hardship. I don’t wish hardship upon anyone. However, the person you are seeking coaching from is the LAST person I would be clinging to. [IPO “If a person is fighting demons in their own life, how are they going to direct you in YOUR life?... Move on and start over withsomeone new. She won’t change without proper professional help, just keep that in mind.”]
Shannon’s Social Media Links
1. Main Website http://www.shannonmcdowell.net/
2. 1st FB profile (Friend Limit Reached)- https://www.facebook.com/slimmcd
3. 2nd FB profile: https://www.facebook.com/SlimmcdPhysique
4. Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/SLMbodybuilding
5. 1st Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shannon.mcdowell.fithouse
6. 2nd Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/slmbodybuilding
7. 1st Linked-In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shannon-mcdowell-8644972a
8. 2nd Linked-In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/slimmcd-physique-competitor-9ba7819b
9. Twitter: https://twitter.com/SLMbodybuilding?lang=en
10. YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/slimmcd
11. Indeed Resume Link: https://www.indeed.com/r/0aaefc44e4c36886?sp=0
My Life Coaching Research Links
1. What Is A Life Coach? : http://www.lifecoach.com/what-is-a-life-coach
2. Setting Boundaries: https://coachfederation.org/hard-line-setting-boundaries-coaches
3. Rights of Clients: http://lifecoachfaq.com/rights-of-clients/
4. Why I’ve Lost Faith in Tony Robbins & Most Life Coaches: http://jasonconnell.co/tony/
5. 10 Questions for Picking Your Perfect Life Coach: www.inc.com/jessica-zemple/10-questions-for-picking-your-perfect-life-coach.html
6. The Problem with Life Coaches: https://medium.com/personal-growth/the-problem-with-life-coaches-1117afa7ea08
7. How To Find A Life Coach: http://www.lifecoachspotter.com/how-to-find-life-coach-guide/
This report was posted on Ripoff Report on 03/22/2018 02:41 PM and is a permanent record located here: https://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/shannon-mcdowell-slmbodybuilding-fithouse/vancouver-british-columbia/slimmcd-shannon-mcdowell-slmbodybuilding-fithouse-inconsistent-performance-of-life-coachi-1435558. The posting time indicated is Arizona local time. Arizona does not observe daylight savings so the post time may be Mountain or Pacific depending on the time of year. Ripoff Report has an exclusive license to this report. It may not be copied without the written permission of Ripoff Report. READ: Foreign websites steal our content
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