Survival Tips For Those Seeking Dead Beats - Dead Beat Dads, Dead Beat Moms Know Your Avenues Dead Beats Internet

I have posted a report on here about my kids father and I hope it gets some positive responses and hopefully it will help me in finding the right path as there is nowhere for me to go. Hurry up and wait is what I have been doing for almost 12 years. I too put myself back through college and make a comfortable living. Had to there was the only option of living in poverty so I took the harder road. He is fathering another child and our kids are 12 and 13. It broke my heart when he called the kids out of the blue after no contact for 2 years to tell them they were going to have a little sister. What a blow to my daughter. My son totally forgot about him calling him a peice of crap 2 years prior because he told him that a father takes care of his kids and he didn't want to call him that. He preferred Jason at the time. There wasn't any coaching on my part they knew how much we were struggling at the time. We aren't struggling as much anymore and think of the child support as an added bonus to my paychecks. The problem is I have only received 400.00 out of 56,000 he is in arrears. He isn't current at this point in time and refuses to list an employer but I know for a fact he is fishing on the North Shore in Alaska.

Thankyou for the optimism you encourage because it is very discouraging,
Lesley

Custodial parents unite and take the above advise! Here are a few things I have learned if you have an actual support order in Cuyahoga County Ohio. They may work in other states and counties also-

First and foremost DO NOT use any of those "we will get you your child support companies" they are a rip off. They want 1/2 of your past owed to you support for their service. A local lawyer is cheaper if you choose not to do the work yourself.

Second - You are the custodial parent and you knew in your heart that the other person probably was going to ditch this responsibility on you. You know their personality and that is one of the reasons you aren't with them anymore. ANY child support money you ever recieve don't depend on it, it may be erratic in both the amount and frequency. Consider it a bonus.

Congrats if you choose to do the work yourself! Network, network, network - Talk to everyone you and your ex knew and know. Someone knows something that will provide you information on how to locate their whereabouts. Remember if they are intentionally shirking this responsibility they have screwed someone else who will be bitter enough to cough up information.

Talk to and become a fixture in the county prosecutors office they are a wonderful asset and are technically your lawyers - for free. It is their job to make sure your support order is executed, and if not, prosecute the other parent. They have the authority to yank drivers licences, request tax records, file garnishments, issue warrents, issue forced community service etc. They are there for you, utilize them.

The other parent will eventually be located - mine was working under the table and I was able to flush him out with the assistance of aquaitances and the prosecutors office from halfway across the state. Persistance will pay off. DO NOT use tears or anger with the prosecutor or the ex, it will serve you no purpose. Do not discuss th matter directly with your ex, period, you are in court now. Passive agressive actions are not helpful to you, eliminate this activity from your life. This is a legal transaction at this point, you have the upper hand. If you need to scream, cry or laugh do it in private.

People who become incarcerated cannot pay. Unless you and the prosecutor cannot get the other parent to start paying and have exhausted all means of punishment without a positive response from the other parent use jail time as a last resort. They aren't making any money sitting in jail and they will have a harder time getting a job and a home when they get out.

If the prosecutor wants the other parent to make a lump sum payment in "good faith" and you know the other parent doesn't have that kind of money let the prosecutor know. You know what resources your ex has - be realistic. You can't get blood from a stone.

Be open to a child support reassesment. Your ex will be required to supply valuable employment and work information. If it lowers the amount the amount of child support you should be getting - so be it - you aren't getting in now - nothing + nothing = nothing. This action on you part shows good faith resolution which will encourage the prosecutor to work harder to assist you since you are clearly wanting a fair solution for all parties. (you can apply for reassesment over and over and over - utilize this tool to your advantage).

I was divorced in 1996 - 2 1/2 years ago I took matters into my own hands and did the above on my own. I have spent a lot of time on the phone and in court. I now get child support and have been getting it for about a year and a half. It is not the full amount but is usually is between $1000 - $1800 per month. Use the advise I provided to give you peace - remember the money is only a bonus or combat pay as I call it. You will get over the anger of not getting it when you get that first check - you will get your satifaction from that I assure you and your anger will go away, the other persons will not. It will get worse. Ignore them. They are mad at themself and you are the obvious target don't fall for it, stay calm - remember you are winning but don't gloat it's not pretty.

My ex ruined his life, career and relationship with his children trying to avoid ever paying. I will probably never see all of the arrearage in my lifetime. I am not bitter, I am sad for him and his new family. I feel bad that they are suffering (the family) due to his lack of responsibility to his children who he, by his choice, hasn't seen since our divorce. He has missed so much by not being around - football, cheerleading, choral concerts, holidays, our daughters first homecomming dance and thousands of other growing up memories that can't be reclaimed. He hates me for enforcing the child support order much like I used to hate him. I pity him now for the mess he has created for himself but I have NEVER discussed any of this with my children nor will I ever, it's none of their business. I also NEVER say anything bad about their father - I don't have to. His silence speaks volumes to them. I hope they forgive him one day for his lack of involvement in their lives.

Good luck to all custodial parents!

Custodial parents unite and take the above advise! Here are a few things I have learned if you have an actual support order in Cuyahoga County Ohio. They may work in other states and counties also-

First and foremost DO NOT use any of those "we will get you your child support companies" they are a rip off. They want 1/2 of your past owed to you support for their service. A local lawyer is cheaper if you choose not to do the work yourself.

Second - You are the custodial parent and you knew in your heart that the other person probably was going to ditch this responsibility on you. You know their personality and that is one of the reasons you aren't with them anymore. ANY child support money you ever recieve don't depend on it, it may be erratic in both the amount and frequency. Consider it a bonus.

Congrats if you choose to do the work yourself! Network, network, network - Talk to everyone you and your ex knew and know. Someone knows something that will provide you information on how to locate their whereabouts. Remember if they are intentionally shirking this responsibility they have screwed someone else who will be bitter enough to cough up information.

Talk to and become a fixture in the county prosecutors office they are a wonderful asset and are technically your lawyers - for free. It is their job to make sure your support order is executed, and if not, prosecute the other parent. They have the authority to yank drivers licences, request tax records, file garnishments, issue warrents, issue forced community service etc. They are there for you, utilize them.

The other parent will eventually be located - mine was working under the table and I was able to flush him out with the assistance of aquaitances and the prosecutors office from halfway across the state. Persistance will pay off. DO NOT use tears or anger with the prosecutor or the ex, it will serve you no purpose. Do not discuss th matter directly with your ex, period, you are in court now. Passive agressive actions are not helpful to you, eliminate this activity from your life. This is a legal transaction at this point, you have the upper hand. If you need to scream, cry or laugh do it in private.

People who become incarcerated cannot pay. Unless you and the prosecutor cannot get the other parent to start paying and have exhausted all means of punishment without a positive response from the other parent use jail time as a last resort. They aren't making any money sitting in jail and they will have a harder time getting a job and a home when they get out.

If the prosecutor wants the other parent to make a lump sum payment in "good faith" and you know the other parent doesn't have that kind of money let the prosecutor know. You know what resources your ex has - be realistic. You can't get blood from a stone.

Be open to a child support reassesment. Your ex will be required to supply valuable employment and work information. If it lowers the amount the amount of child support you should be getting - so be it - you aren't getting in now - nothing + nothing = nothing. This action on you part shows good faith resolution which will encourage the prosecutor to work harder to assist you since you are clearly wanting a fair solution for all parties. (you can apply for reassesment over and over and over - utilize this tool to your advantage).

I was divorced in 1996 - 2 1/2 years ago I took matters into my own hands and did the above on my own. I have spent a lot of time on the phone and in court. I now get child support and have been getting it for about a year and a half. It is not the full amount but is usually is between $1000 - $1800 per month. Use the advise I provided to give you peace - remember the money is only a bonus or combat pay as I call it. You will get over the anger of not getting it when you get that first check - you will get your satifaction from that I assure you and your anger will go away, the other persons will not. It will get worse. Ignore them. They are mad at themself and you are the obvious target don't fall for it, stay calm - remember you are winning but don't gloat it's not pretty.

My ex ruined his life, career and relationship with his children trying to avoid ever paying. I will probably never see all of the arrearage in my lifetime. I am not bitter, I am sad for him and his new family. I feel bad that they are suffering (the family) due to his lack of responsibility to his children who he, by his choice, hasn't seen since our divorce. He has missed so much by not being around - football, cheerleading, choral concerts, holidays, our daughters first homecomming dance and thousands of other growing up memories that can't be reclaimed. He hates me for enforcing the child support order much like I used to hate him. I pity him now for the mess he has created for himself but I have NEVER discussed any of this with my children nor will I ever, it's none of their business. I also NEVER say anything bad about their father - I don't have to. His silence speaks volumes to them. I hope they forgive him one day for his lack of involvement in their lives.

Good luck to all custodial parents!

Custodial parents unite and take the above advise! Here are a few things I have learned if you have an actual support order in Cuyahoga County Ohio. They may work in other states and counties also-

First and foremost DO NOT use any of those "we will get you your child support companies" they are a rip off. They want 1/2 of your past owed to you support for their service. A local lawyer is cheaper if you choose not to do the work yourself.

Second - You are the custodial parent and you knew in your heart that the other person probably was going to ditch this responsibility on you. You know their personality and that is one of the reasons you aren't with them anymore. ANY child support money you ever recieve don't depend on it, it may be erratic in both the amount and frequency. Consider it a bonus.

Congrats if you choose to do the work yourself! Network, network, network - Talk to everyone you and your ex knew and know. Someone knows something that will provide you information on how to locate their whereabouts. Remember if they are intentionally shirking this responsibility they have screwed someone else who will be bitter enough to cough up information.

Talk to and become a fixture in the county prosecutors office they are a wonderful asset and are technically your lawyers - for free. It is their job to make sure your support order is executed, and if not, prosecute the other parent. They have the authority to yank drivers licences, request tax records, file garnishments, issue warrents, issue forced community service etc. They are there for you, utilize them.

The other parent will eventually be located - mine was working under the table and I was able to flush him out with the assistance of aquaitances and the prosecutors office from halfway across the state. Persistance will pay off. DO NOT use tears or anger with the prosecutor or the ex, it will serve you no purpose. Do not discuss th matter directly with your ex, period, you are in court now. Passive agressive actions are not helpful to you, eliminate this activity from your life. This is a legal transaction at this point, you have the upper hand. If you need to scream, cry or laugh do it in private.

People who become incarcerated cannot pay. Unless you and the prosecutor cannot get the other parent to start paying and have exhausted all means of punishment without a positive response from the other parent use jail time as a last resort. They aren't making any money sitting in jail and they will have a harder time getting a job and a home when they get out.

If the prosecutor wants the other parent to make a lump sum payment in "good faith" and you know the other parent doesn't have that kind of money let the prosecutor know. You know what resources your ex has - be realistic. You can't get blood from a stone.

Be open to a child support reassesment. Your ex will be required to supply valuable employment and work information. If it lowers the amount the amount of child support you should be getting - so be it - you aren't getting in now - nothing + nothing = nothing. This action on you part shows good faith resolution which will encourage the prosecutor to work harder to assist you since you are clearly wanting a fair solution for all parties. (you can apply for reassesment over and over and over - utilize this tool to your advantage).

I was divorced in 1996 - 2 1/2 years ago I took matters into my own hands and did the above on my own. I have spent a lot of time on the phone and in court. I now get child support and have been getting it for about a year and a half. It is not the full amount but is usually is between $1000 - $1800 per month. Use the advise I provided to give you peace - remember the money is only a bonus or combat pay as I call it. You will get over the anger of not getting it when you get that first check - you will get your satifaction from that I assure you and your anger will go away, the other persons will not. It will get worse. Ignore them. They are mad at themself and you are the obvious target don't fall for it, stay calm - remember you are winning but don't gloat it's not pretty.

My ex ruined his life, career and relationship with his children trying to avoid ever paying. I will probably never see all of the arrearage in my lifetime. I am not bitter, I am sad for him and his new family. I feel bad that they are suffering (the family) due to his lack of responsibility to his children who he, by his choice, hasn't seen since our divorce. He has missed so much by not being around - football, cheerleading, choral concerts, holidays, our daughters first homecomming dance and thousands of other growing up memories that can't be reclaimed. He hates me for enforcing the child support order much like I used to hate him. I pity him now for the mess he has created for himself but I have NEVER discussed any of this with my children nor will I ever, it's none of their business. I also NEVER say anything bad about their father - I don't have to. His silence speaks volumes to them. I hope they forgive him one day for his lack of involvement in their lives.

Good luck to all custodial parents!

Custodial parents unite and take the above advise! Here are a few things I have learned if you have an actual support order in Cuyahoga County Ohio. They may work in other states and counties also-

First and foremost DO NOT use any of those "we will get you your child support companies" they are a rip off. They want 1/2 of your past owed to you support for their service. A local lawyer is cheaper if you choose not to do the work yourself.

Second - You are the custodial parent and you knew in your heart that the other person probably was going to ditch this responsibility on you. You know their personality and that is one of the reasons you aren't with them anymore. ANY child support money you ever recieve don't depend on it, it may be erratic in both the amount and frequency. Consider it a bonus.

Congrats if you choose to do the work yourself! Network, network, network - Talk to everyone you and your ex knew and know. Someone knows something that will provide you information on how to locate their whereabouts. Remember if they are intentionally shirking this responsibility they have screwed someone else who will be bitter enough to cough up information.

Talk to and become a fixture in the county prosecutors office they are a wonderful asset and are technically your lawyers - for free. It is their job to make sure your support order is executed, and if not, prosecute the other parent. They have the authority to yank drivers licences, request tax records, file garnishments, issue warrents, issue forced community service etc. They are there for you, utilize them.

The other parent will eventually be located - mine was working under the table and I was able to flush him out with the assistance of aquaitances and the prosecutors office from halfway across the state. Persistance will pay off. DO NOT use tears or anger with the prosecutor or the ex, it will serve you no purpose. Do not discuss th matter directly with your ex, period, you are in court now. Passive agressive actions are not helpful to you, eliminate this activity from your life. This is a legal transaction at this point, you have the upper hand. If you need to scream, cry or laugh do it in private.

People who become incarcerated cannot pay. Unless you and the prosecutor cannot get the other parent to start paying and have exhausted all means of punishment without a positive response from the other parent use jail time as a last resort. They aren't making any money sitting in jail and they will have a harder time getting a job and a home when they get out.

If the prosecutor wants the other parent to make a lump sum payment in "good faith" and you know the other parent doesn't have that kind of money let the prosecutor know. You know what resources your ex has - be realistic. You can't get blood from a stone.

Be open to a child support reassesment. Your ex will be required to supply valuable employment and work information. If it lowers the amount the amount of child support you should be getting - so be it - you aren't getting in now - nothing + nothing = nothing. This action on you part shows good faith resolution which will encourage the prosecutor to work harder to assist you since you are clearly wanting a fair solution for all parties. (you can apply for reassesment over and over and over - utilize this tool to your advantage).

I was divorced in 1996 - 2 1/2 years ago I took matters into my own hands and did the above on my own. I have spent a lot of time on the phone and in court. I now get child support and have been getting it for about a year and a half. It is not the full amount but is usually is between $1000 - $1800 per month. Use the advise I provided to give you peace - remember the money is only a bonus or combat pay as I call it. You will get over the anger of not getting it when you get that first check - you will get your satifaction from that I assure you and your anger will go away, the other persons will not. It will get worse. Ignore them. They are mad at themself and you are the obvious target don't fall for it, stay calm - remember you are winning but don't gloat it's not pretty.

My ex ruined his life, career and relationship with his children trying to avoid ever paying. I will probably never see all of the arrearage in my lifetime. I am not bitter, I am sad for him and his new family. I feel bad that they are suffering (the family) due to his lack of responsibility to his children who he, by his choice, hasn't seen since our divorce. He has missed so much by not being around - football, cheerleading, choral concerts, holidays, our daughters first homecomming dance and thousands of other growing up memories that can't be reclaimed. He hates me for enforcing the child support order much like I used to hate him. I pity him now for the mess he has created for himself but I have NEVER discussed any of this with my children nor will I ever, it's none of their business. I also NEVER say anything bad about their father - I don't have to. His silence speaks volumes to them. I hope they forgive him one day for his lack of involvement in their lives.

Good luck to all custodial parents!

Frankly, I am well aware that children can not be raised on air. And yes, many dead beats are tens of thousands behind in support. Yes, having worked in the legal field, and as a police officer, I would love to see changes in the legal system. My ex, in fact, owes well over $ 30,000 per child, times three, plus college expenses, day care, and medical. Am I supposed let it control my life? Am I supposed to run around in circles and let it consume me? No, I can't do either, I have a famly to raise, children to prep for college, and my career to balance in the shadows.

I am glad you have had a warrant issued. So have I, in fact, I have had bench warrants, felony warrants, property seizure warrants, and tax seizures filed. I know my rights, and I understand the court system.

The entire point of the aritcle was, what some obiously missed, that you can carry on with your life, enjoy your children and still strive for your personal wants and needs, despite a dead beats actions. These can be achieved without, scaring the children, setting yourself up for future failures, or breaking the bank.

Take care,
Still struggling, but happy,
Sandy

I have roughly 10 years experience in the legal field. Your information is great for the new divorcee or new single mother. However, for those individuals that have been dealing with child support issues for a long time, already have done most of what you explained. It is those of us who are 20, 30 or more thousand in arrears that need to begin taking the step to the State Representatives, and request imposing stronger guidelines and punishment for Dead Beats who are more than 5,000.00 in arrears.

I have found that Warren County NJ is the worst section of New Jersey when it comes to collecting child support. I know the Court system, I know the caseworkers (they know me), and I have even dealt with supervisors as well as division heads. We have gotten no-where. I have recently moved to Virginia, and of course the Law requires jurisdiction to remain in New Jersey until the Father moves. I am fighting to have jurisdiction given to Virginia. Finally, New Jersey issued a Bench Warrant for the arrest of the Father which reflects that he is not to be released until full amount is paid.

I truly believe New Jersey finally moved because I filed the paperwork with Virginia in July, the warrant was issued in August.

They saw the squeaky wheel gets the oil. This is not always true. Single mothers and fathers raising families need the support! Children need their fathers and mothers, yet some can just walk away.......It is time that single parent let's the government know that we need to impose stronger guidleines and punishment to Dead Beat parents. Children cannot be raised on "air" alone!

Sandra-Thank you for your tips. They are great. Divorce is so messy and so is getting child support. Your tips are so insightful.

Thank you, Sharon

It's always a pleasure to see someone make lemonade out of lemons. Your children are blessed to have a mother like you.