Wax VAc It's GawwDamm Carp Wallingford, Connecticut

Me and my housemate (after a few beers) saw an infomercial for the WaxVac, an ear cleansing device. We'd both been to China where beauticians clean out ppl's ears with picks and hot wax and the results are amazing. So why not, right?

WaxVac sent double our order with double the cost, and the unit itself is useless gimmick to the extent that our beer-laden selves deserved. Just a motor in a rough plastic housing. I'm sure it draws air to some extent, but I'm so deafened in that ear from the noise I'll never know.

Poor Chinese children worked their frozen fingers to the bone in their unheated sweatshop factory to make this Unit of Plastic (toxic) components so that I can stick it in my ear and realize the sad humor of it all.

At least I can buy more beer, deaf or not.

Skip it in its entirety. Bless the slave children who made it, and to the gold-toothed grease-haired "entrepreneurs" who thought this up: may your fake silk suit rot in the Chinese summer and may your wives cheat with the coat hanger manufacturer down the pollution-choked road. The Communist Party judges you.