It's Just Lunch IJL I was tired of using online dating services so I was willing to pay a lot of money to try IJL. The advertisements claim they only accept people of quality and appropriate education and professional backgrounds. The dates they arranged for me were nothing like what I specified. Seattle Washington

I signed up for IJL because I was tired of online dating.  I knew it would be expensive to join the club but I though it may be worth it if they match me up with my ideal person. I paid $2500 for 12 dates.  First you go for an interview and they ask you the basic questions about what you are seeking in a mate. They ask you the basic questions about you requirements.  Physical appearance, education, profession etc.  Once you are accepted, I'm sure they accept anyone who's willing to shell out that much money, they will begin the matching process and set up dates for you.  There are up to five restaurants that they contract with to accomodate IJL members.  You have to go to one of those restaurants no exceptions.  Then a dating specialist will contact you give you some details about your match and once you say yes they will make the reservation and you just show up to meet your date. It's two checks you pay for your own drinks and he pays for his. Here's my experience.

First date, he was shorter than what I specified, I wanted men who were 5'9" or taller.  This man was no more than 5'6".  I'm short so I can accept that even though I specified I like taller men.  He looked like a teenager and it was awkward conversation the whole time.  He was so nervous I was afraid he may pass out.  We did not exchange phone numbers.

Second date, he was tall enough and he was a talker.  He talked so much I couldn't get a word in.  He also had the strange habit of giving the thumbs up sign I don't know what that is all about.  To make matters worse, the place was an expensive bar and grill, and it was so loud in there I couldn't hear myself think and it catered to a much younger crowd. I also had to drive 30 minutes each way.  IJL claims they find a restaurant that is the same driving time/distance for both parties.  We did not exchange phone numbers.

Third date.  Once again he was short, this person was even shorter than the first guy.  I am 5'2" and I'm sure he was only one inch taller than me.  How did IJL find a man who is that short?  We met for drinks and the conversation went ok and we actually exchanged phone numbers.  We were going to meet for lunch at a very nice restaurant that I had been wanting to go to.  However, I was not familiar with that part of town so I could not find it.  This was before I knew about GPS.  He was very understandiing and we did go to a different restuarant for lunch.  Through our conversation I found out he had been divorced for 3 years and was not looking for a serious relationship.  That is completely contrary to what IJL told me.  They said their members are all looking for serious relationships.  We parted on good terms and that was the end of it.

Fourth date.  This person was overweight, arrogant and just had a bad attitude about life in general.  Need I say more.

Oh and somewhere between the third and fourth date I was told I would be meeting with an image consultant.  I did not ask for one and didn't think I needed an image consultant.  I liked my image. So this woman meets with me and she brought with her some clothing and accessories and jsut wanted to sell me stuff.  I bought a necklace and a top just to get away.  It wasn't until after I met with this woman that I found out I had to pay $1000 for something I didn't even want.  I should have asked more questions.

Fifth date.  Finally, this is more like what I had been asking for from the beginning.  He was tall and in good shape, nice looking and mild mannered.  We had good conversation and found out he often took his dog to a park that was not far from where I lived.  I foolishly did not let him walk me to my car and did not get his phone number.  I own that one I missed out.  When the IJL person called me the next day I told her what happened and she said I should have asked for his phone number, thanks I already knew that.  I guss there was no second chance for me.  That was the last date I went on.  After that they arranged a couple more dates that they said were good matches and I turned them down because I was burned out by then and wanted to take a break.  I still had 7 dates left.

IJL contacted me a few weeks later and told me about someone who was divorced and had one teenage son.  I was skeptical because I specifically said I wanted someone with no kids or had kids living on their own.  But I thought why not so I accepted the date.  After I thought about it I decided I really didn't want to go on this date.  I told IJL and here is when the fine print came in.  I admit I do not read the fine print so that was my mistake.  I guess somewhere there was a clause that said if I accept a date and then cancel before the date I am out of the club and they can no longer work with me.  That is what I was told anyway. In summary, I wasted $3500 on a few dates that I had to pay my portion, plus spent some money buying stuff from that "image consultant"and ended up with little to show for it.

The lesson is read the fine print in the contract, look up some reviews for IJL before you hand over so much money.  There are more women than men in the database,  so it's like you have to take what they give you.  You have no control over the process. Some of these guys are not interested in a long term committed relationship even though IJL said they were.  I think IJL's methods and tactics are bordering on unethical and their process does not work like they promised.  They add extra services that you did not ask for and they charge you.  I would have been better off using online dating service, it's cheaper and at least I control who I want to meet.

My advice stay away from IJL.