United States Army Sexual Harassment Fort Riley, KS, Kansas

Dear Sister in Arms,

First and foremost, I want to tell you that you did the RIGHT THING and that YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME!!!

I am so sorry that this also happened to you.  I can identify with everything you said and know it to be true.  I would suggest leaving it off your resume and apply for grants at community college OR hir an attorney and fight those BASTARDS.

I went thru a very similiar experience as a Federal Agent with the Dept of Defense, Insepector General's office.  Isn't funny that they are suppose to invetsigate fraud, waste and abuse NOT CREATE IT!

I had a first line supervisor SH me with a physical come on and I told him NOT INTERESTED and he made life living hell for the next year.  I tried to resolve the situation on my own for a month and then reported his a*s to my SAC (third level sup) and I asked for a transfer away from the pervert and the SAC said"we don't transfer our problems (ie me)".

For the next year, I endured daily harassment until my back literally broke.  I aws at PT and my L5-S1 disk severely herniated and I was off work for two yrs and had 2 back surgeries.  Then they transferred me to SF from LA and refused to pay my TDY expenses.

I got a lawyer and we sued them but I ended up emailinmg the DOD-IG personally himself in 2004 and he told DOJ to settle the case.  Unfortunately, I won the battle but lost the war.  I was forced to resign and was given a written letter of recommendation signed by the Director in DC, which turned out to bne a "red flag" to personnel hiring offices.  So, basically they breached the settlement contract immediately.  I perservered on and applied for 95 jobs, almost got hired at 5, until they checked my references, then they cut communications with me.

So, at least I am on temporary total disability (they give me 75% of former salary with COLA's) but probably like you a "type A" personality who lovges her country, loves the DOD (except for the several but relatively few in total, chauvinistic pigs) and who loved her job as I did as a sr. Criminal investigator who worked for DOD for 19.8 yrs.

My suggestion to you is to become a lawyer, if AT ALL POSSIBLE!!!  Then you can fight back against these morons and help defend women who will always be harassed as long as there are men.

I also volunteer with the USO, so I can stay in touch in a helpful manner and stil contribute to society.

You sound pretty young so just go on with your life.  Apply for all the scholarships available at 4yr or community colleges and study your butt off and then pursue your dreams (I know the military was ur dream) but pursue being a lawyer, work on campus as part of work-study program.

Get to know your professors so you can get letters of recommendation for applying for internships at companies when u graduate.

Stay strong and hang in there sister!  I know you can do it.  Someone once told me that "success is the best revenge".  I went on to get a Masters in Mideast studies and Arabic and then earned an internship with Sec Rice until DOD pissed on me again so now it is onto either law school or Masres/PhD in psychology.

YOU WILL MAKE IT THRU THIS TOO!!  What really helped me is to join a Christian church and my mimi-church or small group and Pastor were all bery supportive and a great help during this time of need.

Also there is website Supportgroups.com and free psych counseling thru your County hospital.  It happened to me 12 yrs ago at 40 yrs old so I ended up going thru Depression and am on an anti-depressant still.  It really helps and talking to a psychologist who specializes in SH or even PTSD, which is also can be part of it, will really help, I promise you:-)  Stay up and I am praying for you, sister.

God, is always sitting right next to you, talk to Him, Jesus died for all of our sins.

FORGIVE the harassers and it will be much easier to move on.  Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or that they are not wrong!!  It only allows you to not harbor negativity toward them and that only grows to bitterness.  Believe me, tried that too.

FORGIVE and let God get revenge.  I am happy to state that all who were involved in my cvase no longer work for the Gov't, got fired or the one sup, never got promoted and the new guys in my office got him shipped to a small office in the boonies in CO.

Be still and meditate and "Know that I am God".  Psalm 46:10

My commander, CPT W. was the one to print out the emails. I gave him my FB PW and sat next to him, as well as SSG S., as he pulled them up. The 3-4 messages a day was a combination of email and chat..mostly the chat box popping up saying something gross or him saying he was watching me.

There are a few problems with your initial numbers and dates.  You initially made this statement...
From 18 FEB 10 to 15 JUN 10, I received seventeen unsolicited, unanswered messages from this CPT H.

However right before this you stated..

In FEB 10, this CPT messaged me a friend request via the website Facebook. I accepted this request because I had personally met and conversed with this CPT H......Soon, this CPT H. was e-mailing me daily, and even though I did not respond, this CPT H. was sending 3 to 4 e-mail messages a day to me. On 18 APR 10, via instant message, the CPT H. asked me if he liked guys and if I ever thought about giving head to a guy

So how did you go from "daily" to 3-4 messages a day all of the way down to 17 in a 4 month period?

Now at any time did you "defriend" him on Facebook?  When you reported this harassment did you provide copies of these facebook posts and/or e-mails?    Basically did you have anything more than just your word that all of this happened?

I'm not surprised by your response, in fact, I thank you for showing your ignorance. For you to suggest that I hit someone to get them to do something shows your "meat head" mentality. I followed proper procedure for reporting said incidents. No, I did not sit in a stall and cry. I'm 5'10" 195 solid, and combatives level 3. I would have crushed both parties...at the same time. Use google and you will find a green beans cafe, pizza hut, burger king, taco bell, subway, etc..on the bases in Iraq. Clearly, you don't know much about the "current" situation in Iraq. When were you there? Please give specific dates of your enlistment. If it was more than 6 years ago..don't bother. Ok, back on track. My whole issue was, I reported a serious matter, as so many before me have, and unfortunately like me, many have had the same result. Except they end up being a suicide victim you hear about on the news because they are too scared to leave due to the military "beating you down" and putting thoughts in your head about AWOL being as serious as shooting the president. So, they stay in the hostile situation until they snap and either shoot the place up, or hang themselves. These soldiers who report sexual harassment, rape, and crimes of the like, majority of the time are retaliated against. No different in my situation. I didn't list in detail because I could have written a book about military mistreatmet. I signed up for boot camp and volunteered for Iraq. I did not agree to sexual harassment or to being threatened by a superior. All I asked for was to be reassigned. As you can read in my initial post, I waited MONTHS for a just outcome. In the military we are all trained dogs, however, you can only kick a dog so many times before it bites your f**kin leg off. To all who read this I would encourage you to google suicide rates in the military. Last year the military lost more soldiers to suicide then to war. Thanks for your post, it didn't really say much to the issue, but more to attacking me. Again, I thank you for showing your ignorance.

But the majority of my life is surrounded by military.  I'm no longer enlisted, but my family, and all my friends are.  I'll start off with the simple issue. So your ssgt said he'll choke you out? Get over it.  Man up.  10 months in iraq and you got butthurt about a non-life threatening comment in the chow hall?  I bet you turned red and sat in a bathroom stall stifling tears after huh?

As for the requesting to leave Iraq, thats just not right.  Willing to leave everyone else behind while you go to go home? And where were you in Iraq that you got to use facebook and instant messenger? 

And the big issue, Capt. DADT.  So the guy is obviously gay.  New policy allows that.  As for how you handled it, that was stupid.  Call him out on it, don't cower in the corner and feel all victimized.  I'm assuming your enlisted or you wouldnt be bending over for a SSgt.  Just tell your buddies, "look at what this dude just sent me!"  Word will spread and he'll shut his mouth, and wont ask to open yours.  But a spc. vs a capt. going the "by the book" route? You had to see how that would end.  And if that didn't work, hit him.  It would be a lot easier to avoid a Dishonorable discharge for assaulting a superior officer, than going AWOL for 30 days. 

You tried to defend going AWOL by basically saying that your superiors hurt your feelings and made you feel uncomfortable.  Forget bootcamp?  If you hit a Capt. and then tried to deny it with "read these messages he's been sending me!", they would have to pay attention.  Especially if other enlisted guys already heard about this Capt.   
 
Now I know a lot of people who aren't enlisted wouldn't agree with me.  But to anyone who's spent more than a day with Marines or an army infantryman: 
Would any of those guys be so terrified of a Capt. who wants to celebrate DADT being removed?  Or would they run away from a threat of being "Choked out"? Or would they stand up for themselves?  Im not insensitive, I'm just being realistic.

You might want to try to contact the SLDN for help. They usually take the other side on things like this but I think they would be able to assist you or at least point you in the right direction Their link is http://www.sldn.org/ Or if this link is redacted do a Google search for SLDN. It is the Servicemembers Legal Defence Network. Good Luck!